Jennie

Lisa looks anxious as she follows me into the kitchen and I smile to myself. A couple of minutes of being polite to Helen and Rosé is pretty much nothing if that's what it takes to make her smile. She's been amazing since I got here, and I've yet to pay her back for all she does.

She walks up to me, her eyes roaming over my body. I place my hand on her chest and lean back against the counter. "Shouldn't you get dressed?" I ask. She blinks and looks down, as though she's only just realizing that she's wearing far less than I am.

She looks into my eyes as though she's searching for something. "Will you be okay?" she asks. My smile falters and I nod. I hate that Lisa thinks that I still need protection. I'm embarrassed of the person I used to be, of the girl that couldn't stand up for herself.

Lisa nods and walks away, leaving me in the kitchen with Helen and Rosé. I turn around and sigh. Maybe I should have gone up to my room instead. I lean back as I look at the two of them, my arms crossed over each other.

Both of them look older, and I can't help but wonder what the last couple of years have been like for them. Were they happy while I tried my best to get through every single day, feeling broken and incomplete? Did the pieces I gave up of myself make Rosé whole again? Was it all worth it in the end?

I want to be better than this, but I'm filled with resentment. Being back here made me realize just how much I've been missing out on in life. I forgot it was even possible for me to be this happy. I forgot what being with Lisa was like. I forgot what it was like to be myself — fully, truly. Can I even go back from here? Can I go back to a life that felt bleak in contrast?

I watch the mother-daughter duo, my heart aching. Is it possible to both love and hate someone at the same time? They've both broken my heart in different ways, yet standing here with them soothes my soul. It reminds me of some of the most precious moments in my life.

Rosé carefully spreads Nutella over a pancake before sprinkling some coarse sugar over it. She rolls it up carefully and then pushes the plate my way, her hands trembling. I look up at her in surprise and blink in disbelief. I can't believe that she still remembers that this is my favorite.

"Did you poison it somehow?" I ask, unable to help myself. Rosé looks stricken, but I don't have it in me to feel bad. I wouldn't actually put it past her to do just that.

"I… No… Do you — do you want me to try this first?"

I look at her through narrowed eyes. She looks so meek, so innocent. Since it's Rosé, I can't tell if it's all just an act or not. I never could.

Helen looks shocked, and I wonder if she'll try to defend Rosé or criticize me. Much to my surprise, she does neither. She pulls my plate towards her and smiles nervously. "This looks nice," she says, and she takes a bite, startling me.

Rosé looks up and her mum gratefully and I grit my teeth. Are they just trying to make me look horrible? If so, they're definitely succeeding.

Rosé looks up at me nervously, and I barely even recognize her. "Actually, Jennie… I… I'm sorry I've been avoiding you," she says.

I shake my head and cross my arms over each other. "Oh, don't be," I tell her. "I much prefer it that way. Had it been up to me, I would have left both of you standing in front of the front door."

I smile at Helen humorlessly. "But as I'm sure you would remind me, Helen," I say. "This isn't my home. It's Lisa's."

Rosé swallows hard as her eyes fill with tears and I look away in annoyance. Lisa walks in just as a tear drops down her cheek and I laugh. "Perfect timing, as always," I murmur, my heart filled with hatred.

"What happened?" she asks cautiously, her eyes moving from me to Rosé. I glance up at her, my heart breaking. One night… We've had one night together. One night, untainted by memories of the past or the reality we're facing. I should have known it could never last.

"I made your sister cry," I tell her, feeling lost. I know it won't matter what I do or say. Rosé's tears will speak louder than any words I can utter. I shake my head and move to walk past her. Lisa grabs my wrist and stops me. She pulls me towards her and wraps her arm around me protectively.

She looks at Rosé through narrowed eyes and tightens her grip on me. "What did you do?" she asks Rosé. She looks at her with wide eyes and shakes her head, and I sigh. I pull away from Lisa as more tears drop down Rosé's cheeks.

"I want no part of this," I tell her, before glancing at Rosé. I don't even have it in me to apologize to her. I knew I should have just gone to my bedroom instead. Rosé wipes away her tears furiously and shakes her head at Lisa.

"She didn't do anything," Rosé tells her, and I roll my eyes. I have neither the time nor the patience for this type of theatrics. I don't want to get involved at all. I regret speaking to her, I should have just shut up and eaten the pancake.

"Jennie," Rosé says, and I shake my head as I walk away. I'm not playing this game. Not ever again.

I breathe a sigh of relief when my bedroom door closes behind me. I collapse on top of my bed and check the clock. Dad should be waking up soon. He's the one I should be focusing on, and no one else.

I sit up in surprise when my door opens and Lisa walks in, a worried expression on her face. "Hey," she murmurs. She climbs into my bed and I frown at her.

"What are you doing?" I ask, confused.

She smiles and pulls me closer, wrapping her arms around me. "Didn't we say that we were going back to bed?"

"What about your mom and your sister?"

Lisa's smile drops and she looks away. "I asked them to leave. I never should have let them in at all."

I shake my head and look into her eyes. She looks unhappy and worried, and I know I'm the cause of it. "Don't, Lisa," I say, my voice soft. "Don't alienate your family on my behalf."

I pull away from her to look at her, and my heart twists painfully. "My time here is limited. I have no intention of staying. Whatever might be happening between us is temporary. You know that as well as I do. Maybe we shouldn't even have let it happen at all."

Lisa drops her forehead to mine and inhales deeply. She threads her hand through my hair, her movements frantic. "You're crazy if you think I'll ever let you go again."

I hug her and rest my head on her shoulder, my lips nestled against her neck. "You have to. What would a relationship for us even look like? More of what happened just now? I don't want that. I don't ever want to go through that again. I can't. Besides, my entire life is in London. My entire career is there. You and I… I don't know what this is, but I know it can't last."