Jennie
I walk into the kitchen early in the morning feeling exhausted. The last couple of days have just been filled with arguments and tension. Dad won't see reason, and nothing I say changes his mind about a paired donation.
I'm sitting at the kitchen table when Lisa walks in, her body dripping wet. She smiles at me, and my heart skips a beat. I wish I could control the feelings she unleashes in me. I wish I could choose to focus on the anger I felt when Layla called me, but I can't. She'll smile at me, and my heart soars.
"Morning," she murmurs, and I sigh. She walks up to me and presses a kiss to my hair. My eyes drop to her chest and her abs, and I hate how good she looks. Lisa smirks and bites down on her lip, as though she knows what she's doing to me, and I look away.
"Morning," I say, my eyes dropping to my coffee cup. Lisa takes it from me, and I glare at her.
She smiles and cups my cheek, her thumb trailing over the bags underneath my eyes. "Couldn't sleep?" she asks, and I shake my head.
Lisa drops her forehead to mine and sighs. "He'll see reason sooner or later."
Lisa leans in and kisses my cheek, and my eyes flutter closed. Even a simple kiss from her makes my heart soar.
"Are you sure you want to spend Christmas with my family?" she asks, and for a second I hesitate. Lisa told me she's been hosting Christmas at her house for years now, and though she offered to cancel, I couldn't bring myself to take her up on that offer. I don't want to stand between her and her family.
"Do you think it'll be okay?" I ask carefully. I'm worried I'll mess things up again. I'm worried my presence will be enough to cast a shadow over what would otherwise be a festive day.
Lisa nods and gently pushes my hair behind my ear. "Of course," she says, a smile on her face. "Don't worry so much, Minx. Everything will be great."
I'm still thinking about her words hours later, as the doorbell rings. I hope she's right. The last thing I want to do is ruin Christmas for everyone.
Helen smiles at me as she walks in, and I see the anxiety in her eyes. I've been so angry and so hurt, for so long, that I failed to see the remorse in her eyes. But it's there. I see it clearly now.
I smile back at her, genuinely this time. She might not be my favorite person, but she's treated my dad very well over the years.
Lisa places her hand on my back and I smile up at her, easing the obvious concern in her eyes. She exhales in relief and wraps her arm around my shoulders, unaware of the way Helen and Rosé are looking at us. My cheeks heat and I pull away from her, suddenly feeling self-conscious. Lisa smiles knowingly and I shake my head. Even when we were younger, she was always touching me once we started dating, and it seems those habits haven't changed.
I follow Helen into the living room, my heart filling with nostalgia. Eight Christmases I've spent apart from Lisa. There's so much we missed out on, so many years we won't ever get back.
Lisa smiles at me, her eyes filled with the same sadness, the same longing, as though she too is wondering about everything we've missed out on.
William and Rosé both smile up at me as I sit down, and for once, I'm not filled with hatred seeing Rosé. In the few weeks since she's been here, she hasn't done a single thing that I can condemn her for, and I'm tired of the anger. I'm tired of doing this to myself, to Lisa. She looks startled when I smile at her, and I look away in amusement. I wonder who she is now. I wonder who she's grown into, and what her recovery was like. It seems like she's stopped blaming me for everything that happened, and I wonder when she made that switch. My heart aches, thinking back to everything I've experienced with her. She and I grew up together. She was like a sister to me. I guess that's why it hurt so much, why it still hurts.
Helen grins and claps. "Let's do presents," she says excitedly, and I bite down on my lip. I only got presents for Dad and Lisa, and I wonder if I should have gotten some for everyone else too. While I might not be ready to fully forgive them, I am ready to behave civilly on Lisa and Dad's account.
Lisa pulls me up and we all sit down by the tree, like we used to. "Me first," she says, pulling a little box from underneath the tree. She hands it to me and I look up in surprise as I take it from her. I unpack it carefully, and she smiles as I lift the bracelet up to take a closer look. I stare at it in awe, and she pushes my hair behind my ear carefully.
"It's a handcrafted charm bracelet," she tells me. "A little canoe, to represent the cabin by the lake. A replica of the treehouse, a little coffee cup… and a tiny little t-shirt."
I'm smiling so widely that it hurts and Lisa chuckles. "If I get things my way, we'll be adding many more charms throughout the years," she whispers, and I look up at her. I wish I could just kiss her, right here, right now. No one has ever made me feel the way she does. No one has ever made me feel this seen, this cherished, this loved.
"Wow," Rosé murmurs. "That's stunning," she says. She grins as Lisa helps me put it on, and I glance at her in surprise. I can't believe just how much she's changed. She seems to be genuinely happy for me, for us, and I can't help but be wary.
I glance at Lisa and smile. "This makes my gift look like crap," I say, my cheeks crimson.
Dad laughs and nods. "It does," Dad says, and I look at him through narrowed eyes.
"Show me," Lisa says excitedly, and I hand her one of the two boxes I had in my hands.
Lisa grins and opens it, revealing the cufflinks I had custom made for her. They're golden little insects that remind me of the fake cockroach prank I used to pull on her, one of our classics.
She's looks at them and then looks up at me, her eyes filled with humor and affection. "I love this," she says. "Great minds, huh?" she says, winking at me.
"My turn," Dad says. I laugh and hand him his gift. He got cufflinks too, but his have his initials monogrammed on them. Dad takes the box from me, and just as he's about to open it, his face drains of color. I place my hand on his shoulder, wanting to ask him if he's okay, but before I have a chance to, he collapses.
I jump up in shock and grab Dad, panic filling my lungs, obstructing my airways. My vision starts to blur as I shake Dad, willing him to wake up. I can hear Lisa on the phone, calling for a chopper, but I can't control the fear that grips me.
"Baby, it'll be okay," Lisa tells me. "We'll be at the hospital in a matter of minutes."
I want to believe her, but the panic in her voice is identical to my own.