It's been a while since my last update, working on other fics and real-life issues, the usual spiel. To make up for lost time, here I give you a double-length chapter featuring a lot of characters!
The next day...
Moving southwards, the taiga gave way to more open terrain, and a long river cut through the plain, with patches of rocks and dried-up grass dotted all throughout the snowscape.
Ever since he lost his precious acorn during a painful run-in with a charging rhino, Scrat had been searching for it tirelessly. Skipping and scurrying across the snowy plain, he stumbled upon the river and his eyes widened as he saw a chunk of ice floating in the water, with his acorn locked inside it!
"Ah!" Scrat was overjoyed and jumped down onto the ice forming at the banks of the river, only to realize that there was freezing water between him and his acorn, which was being carried away by the current.
Shifting and twitching, the saber-toothed squirrel looked around, scrambling to think of a solution to his problem when a smaller ice float drifted near him, so he broke off a root jutting from the bank and stepped onto the tiny ice float. Using it as a raft, he started rowing after his beloved acorn.
Reaching the larger and rounder ice float, Scrat leaped on top of it but struggled to keep his balance as the ice float kept rolling and the squirrel had to push himself back to avoid being dunked headfirst into the freezing water.
Seeing his acorn appear in front of him, just inches below the surface, Scrat manically clawed at the ice, trying to dig it out but to no avail, as he just made surface-level scratches, much to his chagrin.
He smiled as he got an idea; to use his sabers like a pair of pick axes! Poor choice, as they immediately got stuck in the ice and he struggled to free himself. To make matters worse, the ice float started rotating anew.
"Oh-oh..." a helpless Scrat whimpered as he was pulled forward and under, soon finding himself hanging to the bottom of the ice float, squirming as air bubbles escaped from his mouth, his chest growing narrower and his eyes bigger with each escaping bubble.
Worse still, he noticed an ominous shape swimming to his right, and staring straight ahead, he saw a huge pike emerging from the murky water, swimming directly toward him and sporting a malicious smile.
Scrat screeched in terror as the beast's sharp-toothed maw came speeding towards him. Pressing his paws against the ice, Scrat pushed with all his might before suddenly popping off, a millisecond before the pike flew over him.
With barely any air in his lungs, the squirrel sank to the bottom like a rock, his feet making contact with the pebbly ground. His body was skeletal, almost entirely deflated, but spotting the ice float containing his acorn on the surface gave him the will to try and clumsily swim after it.
He was halfway there when he glanced down and, to his dread, he saw the pike swimming upwards towards him, jaws wide open. Screaming, Scrat was quickly gobbled up by the ravenous fish but as the latter breached, the squirrel pried his jaws open with his arms and legs, screeching as the pike flopped onto the water and snapped his jaws shut.
Scrat was shot forward and like a small rock, he skipped across the water until he slammed into a familiar chunk of ice. Seeing the acorn inside of it, he hastily scurried up as the ice float suddenly shook and stopped moving, lodged between two twin rocks.
Now that the ice float was somewhat stable, Scrat tried freeing his acorn once more, by blowing his hot breath onto the ice and licking it, but that action got his tongue stuck to it. Pressing his back feet against the ice, Scrat started pulling on his tongue, crying in pain.
The ice float started budging and rolling again, forcing Scrat to keep walking backward while his tongue was being stretched out, and wrapped itself around the rolling ball of ice. Panicking, he reached out to one of the rocks, holding onto it with his right arm and leg but as he did so, his bushy tail was dipped into the water, acting like an enticing lure.
The ice float kept budging and eventually slipped out, carried away by the strong current. His eyes bugging, Scrat stretched his other arm and leg to grab the other rock, anchoring himself between them, while his limbs and tongue were being stretched out, the latter stuck tightly to the ice float.
A supremely painful situation to be in for sure, made worse when the pike returned and clamped his jaws on Scrat's tail. The latter hollered in agonizing pain before being pulled under. The hungry fish pulled his prey deeper and deeper into the chilly water but Scrat's tongue remained firmly stuck to the ice float, which was heading in the opposite direction.
This tug-of-war ended with the pike being left with a mouth full of fur, as Scrat's tail slipped through his teeth and the squirrel was yanked back and spun along with the ice float at a rapid pace before he was flung high up into the air.
With his new skinny rat tail and 10-foot tongue flapping against the winds, Scart screamed as he was shot across the sky like a comet, flying over a certain mammoth and sloth duo.
Manny glanced up in slight confusion. He had never heard a bird call quite like that.
"Uh-uh! A shooting star!" Sid exclaimed. "Make a wish, Manny! But don't say it out loud."
The sloth wished that they would find Diego, while the mammoth rolled his eyes.
"That was just a bird, Sid." Manny said curtly. "Besides, aren't you a little old to believe in such nonsense?"
Sid huffed indignantly. "Fine! Someone here clearly doesn't have a sense of awe and wonder."
It had been two days since they had seen any trace of Diego. The longer he was missing, the more Manny grew worried. On the bright side, the weather had been mercifully calm since then, so Manny and Sid made good progress on their migration, despite the sloth's ceaseless whining, and they hoped Diego was the same.
Manny also hoped the tiger wasn't foolish enough to push himself to the brink again and knew when to take a break. With nobody to show off to, Diego would hopefully see reason. On the downside, traveling alone in his shape meant he couldn't just rest anywhere, as it would make him a target for other hungry predators that might have procrastinated on the migration.
It was afternoon, and Manny and Sid were high up on a ridge, giving them a good look at the surrounding landscape. The mammoth could make out hills in the distance, while the sloth was (once more) forced to fight his own gag reflexes after his stomach growled, trying to chew and swallow one of his traveling "snacks".
He eventually managed to gulp it down but a few bracts were stuck to his tongue, making him cough and spit them out in disgust.
"For the love of...I hate stupid pinecones!" he lamented.
"Better to have something to eat than nothing, Sid. You can't go on without fuel." Manny said matter-of-factly, though, despite his aloof demeanor, he did feel sympathy for the sloth.
Manny could always plow away snow and feed on grasses, even if it was tiring. Diego could eat any unfortunate straggler he came across, or sniff out a corpse. But Sid's kind had drawn the short end of the stick when it came to food, as there were few options for a ground sloth on the open tundra or in the taigas. It came with the territory when your ancestral home was a tropical paradise.
"But why does that something have to be pinecones?"
"You could always try out grass again." Manny deadpanned, making Sid wince.
"On second thought... pinecones aren't the worst." Sid gave in and proudly showed off the basket he had woven.
"And at least I know how to carry my supplies with minimal effort. It pays to have a highly evolved brain!" he said while tapping his noggin.
Manny observed the ugly mess of intertwined branches that barely held on together and tried to refrain from any snarky comments. He didn't need Sid to be sulky on top of starving.
"You mean by copying the humans?" Well...at least he didn't mock Sid's poor craftsmanship.
"Hey... if it works, why gatekeep it?" Sid waved his paw, too tired and hungry to take offense.
Manny couldn't deny that the scatterbrain sloth made a fair point. This was an inherent issue with all animal species keeping to themselves and not sharing their culture, with humans being the worst offenders, as they didn't even speak the language of the other beasts.
"They make it look so easy but lemme tell ya, it's anything but. It's an elaborate, exhausting task that will rack your brain, and push your cognitive capabilities to their limit!" Sid prattled on.
"...I can believe that." Manny saw no reason to argue given the shabby nature of Sid's basket.
The duo heard boggling and looking down from the ridge, they saw about a dozen elk walking through the river valley below and towards a patch of grasses and bushes in the distance.
"Hey, is that steam I'm seeing?" a confused Sid put his paw above his eyes.
"Looks like a hot spring." Manny figured. "That would explain the exposed meadow. Maybe your luck has changed, Sid. There could be something more edible down there."
Sid grew excited and rushed ahead. "Then come on!"
Manny followed him, happy to finally have a square meal without digging for it for hours.
Steam was billowing from the modest-sized spring, keeping any snow from building up in its immediate vicinity. On one side was a grassy field, and on the other a grove of scrubs. The former had attracted the starving elk herd. Not far away, conifer trees covered the snowy hills surrounding the spring.
Manny and Sid arrived at the spring as well, the latter breathing in the steam and exhaling in delight as it cleared up his sinuses. After over a week of nothing but snow and ice and blizzards, this place felt like paradise, like a little slice of heaven.
"This seems like a good place for a pit stop?" Manny commented as he studied the area, much to Sid's joy.
"You mean we can take a break?" he asked like a giddy child. Maybe he could dip his feet in the spring to soothe the many blisters that had formed on his feet.
"Sure, we can take a break." Manny agreed, figuring his little friend deserved one after all the traveling. He himself was pooped too.
"Alright!" Sid pumped his fist and carelessly dropped his basket to the ground, with the pinecones spilling out. "Now to find some real grub! Catch ya later, Manfred-o!"
"Just don't stray away too far and stay vigilant, kay?" Manny warned him as he plucked some grass with his trunk. "This place might attract some more unsavory characters."
"Don't worry, I have eyes in the back of my head!" Sid insisted, barely registering his friend's warning as his mind was squarely focused on finding something to eat.
To his disappointment, all the bushes were dried up, just gnarled branches with no leaves, so he pushed his way through them. Eventually, Sid discovered a few stems sticking from the ground, which he recognized as belonging to tubers.
Free to take his pick, he spotted the largest one by a wide margin and licked his chops before spitting into his paws and rubbing them together.
"Easy peasy!" he yanked it, and after some struggling, managed to pull it out.
But his face contorted in horror as he saw that the large tuber had been chewed up and reduced to a two-foot pith.
"Daaang it!" the irate sloth threw it away and reached out to a smaller stem. But before he could grasp it, it was pulled below the ground.
"What the heck?" the vexed Sid blurted before setting his sights on the next stem in his vicinity, but it was pulled down as well, much to his growing frustration.
From behind him, a small head poked out from a hole, sporting buck teeth, whiskers, and a two-pronged horn above his snout. The rodent grew a mischievous smile.
"What's going on here? Plants don't just move by themselves... do they?" Sid scratched his head when he noticed another large stem and eagerly rushed toward it.
As he grabbed it, he felt something tugging on it from below. It dawned on him that some kind of burrowing creature, like a mole or something, was stealing his grub. He wasn't going to take this lying down!
"Oh no, you don't!" Sid tugged back and managed to yank out a good-sized tuber, much to his delight.
Watching this, the horned gopher held up a reed and blew it, striking the sloth's rear with a pebble.
"Ow!" Sid yelped in pain and dropped his tuber. Rubbing his sore butt, he turned around angrily and saw the gopher uttering a high-pitched giggle and pointing at him.
"Why you little!" Sid leaped at the rodent, pinning it under both of his paws. Laughing triumphantly, Sid tried to take a peek at his catch, only to find it gone. Gone down a long dark tunnel.
Grumbling, Sid peaked down the tunnel with one eye while a second gopher scurried right behind him, and started dragging the tuber away.
"Too chicken to face me, huh!" Sid huffed and slammed his fist on the ground, only to cry out in pain as he got poked in the eye by the first gopher's horn, and fell onto his rump.
"Hey...that really hurt..." he whimpered while rubbing his tear-filled eye, before hearing more high-pitched giggling.
Sid looked over his shoulder and gasped as he saw a second gopher pushing the plump tuber down another hole, before looking at the sloth and blowing a raspberry.
"Hey, that's mine! I grabbed it first!" Sid ran at him but the gopher jumped onto the tuber and they both plummeted down the tunnel, leaving Sid to stew in anger as he fell on top of it and angrily dug with his claws.
Seeing that it was futile, Sid looked around and witnessed another stem being pulled under. Realizing that these burrowing vermin had the home-field advantage, Sid panicked and rushed to grab whatever still could! Though speed wasn't his kind's forte.
The sloth desperately tried to grab any remaining tubers, but each time, it was pulled under a millisecond before he could grasp its stem, literally slipping through his claws.
"Gotcha!" Sid managed to pull out a good-sized one, only for a gopher to sneak up on him and chomp down on his tail.
"YOW!" Sid dropped his catch, and the gopher slipped between his legs, grabbed the tuber, and slung it over his shoulder before dodging Sid's paw and running in circles, pursued by the enraged sloth.
The other gopher popped up from a hole and blew on his claws, prompting the first one to make a sharp turn. Sid came to a screeching halt and chased after the buck-toothed thief. The second gopher lowered his head as the first one leaped over him.
"Now I gotcha!" Sid yelled as he stepped on the hole, and the second gopher jabbed his horns into the sloth's foot.
"OW! Ow! Ow!" Sid cried in a high-pitched tone and clutched his foot, hopping like a fool before losing balance and face-planting, all while hearing more giggling at his expense.
"Watch where ya step, tenderfoot!" one of the gophers shouted in a nasally drawl.
Grumbling and pushing himself up, Sid spat out a mouth full of dirt before finding one last stem sprouting right in front of him.
Sid managed to grab it and pull it out but his face dropped after seeing that the tuber attached to it was the size of a pea, before hearing that aggravating giggling once more.
"Dem sloths are slow in more ways than one!" the two gophers laughed from a nearby hole and high-fived.
They ducked as a livid Sid threw his tiny tuber at them, giggling again before diving under.
"Uhhhhhhhh...stupid gophers, you'll pay for this!? I know a guy who'd love to have you for a snack!" Sid shook his fist and stomped the ground. "And what's with the stupid horns? You ain't rhinos, you...you...you buck-toothed pests!"
Poor choice of words, as he suddenly heard grunting, making him freeze on the spot. Sid spun around to see two gray humps moving through the taller shrubbery.
Feeling a sense of dread, he hid behind the nearest bush and saw two familiar figures walking onto the scene. One of them stopped and looked around suspiciously.
Frank sniffed the air and grew a look of disgust.
"Pee-yew! What's that rancid smell, Carl?" he asked his companion, who also took a whiff.
"I dunno...smells kinda familiar?" Carl grimaced.
His heart racing, Sid dropped to his knees and crawled through the bushes, hoping the rhinos were far enough not to hear any rustling.
"Stay calm, Sidney. Stay calm." he told himself frantically. "They think you're dead. Find Manny."
Taking a cautious peek from the bushes, he spotted his woolly companion in the distance, grazing near the fringes of the shrubland.
"Manny...Manny..." Sid whispered as he crawled closer to the mammoth and shook his leg. "Manny."
"Whaghhtt?" Manny looked down at him, his mouth stuffed with grass before swallowing it.
Sid made a shushing gesture. "We h-have a bit of a problem. I just saw C-carl and Frank!"
"Who now?" Manny blinked.
"Those r-rhinos that have a d-death wish on m-me, they're over there." Sid stammered and pointed ahead. "I know a big fella like you has to eat, but I would really appreciate it if those two still thought I was a tiger's lunch."
Surprised, Manny craned his head up and saw two gray shapes moving through the bushes around the steaming hot spring, heading away from them and towards the open grass field where the elk had gathered to graze. The rhinos didn't seem to have noticed him.
"You gotta be kidding me..." Manny rubbed his forehead with his trunk. He had completely forgotten about them, and frankly, he was too tired to combat those two meatheads again, not that he was looking for a fight in the first place.
Even if they thought Sid was dead, Manny had reason to suspect that those rhinos might be itching for a rematch with him. If their salad getting soiled was worthy of a death sentence, those two clearly didn't let go of grudges easily.
After all the walking, Manny was exhausted and had hoped that he and Sid could take a break at this place and recuperate, maybe even wait for Diego to show up, especially with the elks being a tempting target... not that he liked thinking of other animals as expendable bait. But luck was not on their side.
Turning to the hills, Manny saw the forest covering them and mused that this was as good a place as any to wait until the rhinos left. So he pulled a bush from the ground with his trunk and started walking away.
"Let's go, Sid. We can come back here later."
"Wait?" Sid was confused. "Can't ya just chase away those lightweights? You're a mammoth."
"Not when the conflict is avoidable. Now come on." Manny said gruffly as he kept walking. He wasn't taking any chances either way, as even a small injury could be detrimental when you were a multi-ton mammal on a long, arduous journey.
A nervous Sid bit his claws and looked back to check if the rhinos were heading in his direction. Fortunately, they weren't, so Sid hastily grabbed his crudely woven basket and shoved his pinecones into it before following Manny.
He jolted, dropping and clumsily grabbing his basket after hearing a whoop in the distance, instantly recognizing the call of a hyena. Okay, maybe his big buddy had a point; this hot spring wasn't an oasis, it was a freaking death trap!
"Wait for me, Manny!" he waddled after the mammoth. At least in the forest, he could find wood to make a fire, so he and Manny didn't have to spend another night freezing.
On a small cliff, standing between two ragged boulders, Audrey had made the call and a grouchy Diego finally caught with her.
"I'm here, so what did you find?" he asked, visibly tired from nearly a day's worth of endless walking (at his insistence of course).
"I found the elk herd, they're grazing over there." an excited Audrey gestured with her head and Diego craned his neck to spot the small herd gathered on the snow-free meadow.
There were around a dozen of them, both males and females, all adults. They were brown in color with lighter heads and necks, dark eye rings and muzzles, and a stripe running down their backs, with the bulls sporting an imposing 10-foot wrack of antlers.
Not the easiest kill but one that offered around 1,600 lbs of raw meat. Enough to pay off a debt!
"Finally." Diego smiled and cracked his neck. "Now I just gotta wait until they head for that forest. Perfect place for an ambush."
Audrey didn't like his eagerness to jump into the fray this quickly.
"You know our deal, Diego..." she was quick to remind him. "...I found a snow-free meadow, so you have to take a break. We've been looking for the herd nonstop since yesterday."
Diego rolled his eyes. Unfortunately for him, Audrey was not the forgetful type. But he knew how to bend the rules.
"This doesn't count." he shot her down. "You see that hot spring over there? I thought you understood that I was talking about us reaching warmer climes. Besides, I slept like a cub last night, I'm in tip-top shape."
"But we've been walking all day still, you really should rest. A little catnap oughta help you-"
"Shhh. Look at that." Diego was eager to change the subject and two unexpected arrivals provided a much-needed distraction. Diego couldn't help but note that they looked somewhat familiar. Had he seen them before?
Audrey saw them as well and her pupils shrank and her ears dropped. It was those two rhinos, the same ones she had barely escaped from with her life.
They observed the rhinos approaching the elk herd, grunting threateningly. When pickings were slim, herbivores also cared little for courtesy. Might makes right.
"Looks like they don't like sharing." Diego quipped dryly as most of the elk herd moved on but one stag boldly stood his ground, lowering his head and swinging his huge antlers.
"I think I've seen these two before?" Diego finally remembered. It was the same rhino duo that had tried to stamp out Sid from the world of the living, the same ones Diego unintentionally fooled into giving up by "killing" Sid himself in front of their eyes.
His comment caught Audrey off guard.
"You did?" she asked.
Diego groaned inwardly for saying it out loud. Explaining his backstory to the ever-curious hyena while not revealing that his two friends were herbivores was tiring.
"Yes, I think it's the same two rhinos Sid pissed off a while ago." the tiger recounted. "That chucklehead...he has to be chaperoned like a newborn cub, I tell ya. I had to save his sorry ass by pretending to kill him... in a fight. Of course, rhinos aren't known for their smarts so they fell for the ruse."
Audrey couldn't believe her ears. That was some coincidence.
"I...I met them too." she absentmindedly let it slip, and immediately regretted it as Diego sent her a surprised look.
Audrey felt so small and pathetic. It was embarrassing for her to admit such a thing. "Ehh...small world, right?"
Before Diego could respond though, their attention was drawn back to the squabbling herbivores, as Carl grunted and stomped the ground, while the elk retorted with a loud bellow.
The rhino charged but got poked in the snout by the stag's antlers, though it didn't seem to bother him much and he smiled deviously instead.
The predators saw why, as Frank had used the distraction to circle around the elk and took a few steps back before charging at him full speed.
Audrey winced as the elk let out a pain-filled bleat after being struck in the chest, and collapsed to the ground.
Carl chortled before walking over to and snorting at the stag's head.
"Learn some respect, punk! Next time we won't go so easy..." he chuckled crassly before he and Frank strolled off and started grazing not far away from their fallen opponent, ignoring his feeble groans and ragged breathing.
"Uhhh...that's gotta hurt." Diego quipped before turning to Audrey. "What was that you said?"
The hyena flushed. There was no going back now.
"They...they chased me through the forest... just before I met you." she admitted. "Actually...that was the reason I wound up finding you, trying to get away from them. What a coincidence...huh?"
Diego cocked his brow but was unimpressed. Though being the chronic gadfly he was, he couldn't pass up a chance to tease his skittish companion.
"They tried to stomp you into a bloody pulp too?" he asked, causing Audrey to nod.
"Eh...yes."
"You kidding me, you provoked two rhinos? Are you out of your damn mind?" Diego feigned outrage. "Just what did you do to anger them? And I thought Sid was dense."
"I didn't do anything!" Audrey said defensively. "I was minding my own business and they attacked me for no reason. They...they acted like killing me was some sort of sick game."
Diego chuckled and shook his head. "Of course they did."
"Whaaa..what?" Audrey was dumbfounded.
"I know you probably didn't do anything, I believe ya. I was just messing with you." Diego jeered. "Audrey...to be honest, you're too meek to even provoke a bunny, let alone two hulking, foul-tempered rhinos."
Audrey frowned indignantly. "Do you think this is funny?"
"Eh...a little bit. Wanted to see your reaction." Diego shrugged before noticing her irate expression.
"Take it easy. I know getting chased around by a rhino can be scary, but you're no worse for wear, are ya? I went through much worse and I'm still kicking." he gestured with his head at his flank, especially the two scars left by Soto.
"I was hit!" Audrey said angrily, catching Diego off guard.
"You were hit?" he blurted, suddenly feeling like an idiot for not even considering that.
"Yes, I was..." Audrey sighed and proceeded to tell the full story behind her encounter with the rhinos. Diego could tell from her tone that just talking about it was emotionally taxing for her.
Needless to say, he felt more than a slither of guilt for being so presumptive and making light of her trauma.
He also felt disgusted as he watched the rhinos grazing, remembering Manny's mantra about not killing for pleasure. Where did those two get off to trying to kill an animal who was minding their own business? Just for being a meat-eater, one who didn't even pose a threat to them?
Turning back to Audrey, he tried to be more tactful with his response.
He didn't like feeling sorry for a hyena, but at the same time, he was actually impressed to learn that Audrey managed to survive such an ordeal by herself. He didn't think she was that scrappy.
"And...you walked that off, and still managed to drag me to your cave?" he asked in disbelief.
"What choice did I have...?" Audrey hung her head. "Freezing was preferable to being beaten to death but then I found you and...I couldn't just stand there and do nothing."
Diego could read between the lines and was startled by the implication that Audrey might have been that far gone after being separated from her clan, especially after hearing Sid's account of how he first met Manny and how the mammoth had acted before they found Pinky.
"Damn it all, now I really owe her big time..." he vented inwardly.
Feeling like an ass, Diego awkwardly scratched his neck. "Kay...I may have been a tad inconsiderate there."
"You think?" Audrey scoffed.
"Look...I'm sorry." Diego tried to save face before noticing the elk struggling to rise to his feet and staggering away after his herd, the rhinos not seeming to care one way or the other.
The tiger had already pegged the injured elk as the ideal target.
"I'll make it up to you, okay." Diego insisted. "Look at that, that's the kill I owe you. Those two peabrains practically handed it over to us."
Audrey's frustration waned as she looked at the elk. "You want to catch that elk?"
"Why not? That stag doesn't look like he'll put up much of a fight now, why waste a stroke of luck?" Diego said as he walked past her and down the hill, surrounded by rocks. "I'll strike in the forest."
"Are you sure you're ready for it? Have you seen the size of his antlers?" Audrey worried as she followed him. The elk might have been battered, possibly injured, but Diego wasn't in the greatest shape either.
"As sure as I've ever been." Diego insisted with utmost confidence as he stopped and turned to Audrey, tapping his claw on his sabers.
"In case you've forgotten, these babies are built to slay even the biggest of beasts, and I don't plan to give him a chance to fight back, or have you forgotten how us felines hunt?"
Audrey stopped and considered it while Diego kept descending the hill. She knew how big cats hunted. It wasn't hard to understand, since hyenas and any other carnivore wouldn't pass up a chance to ambush their prey either. Obviously, blindsiding your quarry was preferable to chasing it down.
Maybe Diego could pull it off with the element of surprise, especially if his quarry was injured? It would probably help lift the burden off his shoulders if he paid her back her kill.
Not like Audrey had ever demanded payback but she knew by this point that she couldn't talk the prideful tiger out of it. In his mind, it was the only honorable thing to do, and an obvious means to mend his dented pride.
"Honorable, and stubborn..." she vented inwardly and resumed following him, hoping for the best.
Two hours later...
Audrey had followed Diego as the latter stalked the herd into the taiga, maintaining a safe distance until the elks finally settled in a small clearing to browse.
That's when the tiger had told her, in no uncertain terms, to stay away from him, as any more interference from her would count as an "assist", meaning making a kill would no longer be just Diego's work, in his mind anyway.
Audrey obliged and kept her distance. Watching their quarry while remaining hidden from them was easier in a forest than in the open. Like most hoofed animals, elks were naturally wary but this herd probably wasn't expecting to still find any large predators this far north, let alone an unnatural alliance between a tiger and hyena, so for Diego's sake, Audrey hoped the herd would be complacent.
She couldn't spot any sign of Diego, which was probably a good thing. Big cats were masters of stealth, which made them quite scary for both prey and rival predators alike, and Diego was cautious to stay downwind.
For well over an hour, he had been trailing the herd alone, crouching and silently stalking through the snowcapped undergrowth, standing almost perfectly still while slowly inching closer and closer to the elks. He found his target staggering and struggling to keep up with the herd and prowled closer towards him. His target and his herd mates remained none the wiser of the tiger's presence, much to his delight.
The closer he came to the herd, the lower he had to crouch in order to stay out of their sight. His pace grew slower and he barely moved a muscle other than the occasional ear flick. Pine needless weren't very appetizing to most herbivores, so the bull elk used their great antlers to plow away the snow and feast on the grass, which worked in Diego's favor, as his target did the same, albeit while cringing with pain every few minutes.
Diego could somewhat relate, as his own muscles were throbbing, and he had to suppress the urge for a catnap, continuing to tell himself that he just had to push himself a little while longer and then he could take a well-earned rest.
Hiding between the trees, Audrey continued to watch the herd and eventually, she made out a tawny object nearing the herd, getting within 30 feet of the injured elk plowing away the snow. It was Diego, all seemed to be going according to plan, and Audrey sighed in relief.
Now close enough to hear his prey breathing, Diego kept this low profile as he hunkered down near a pile of snow, with only his ears and eyes peeking over it. He was evaluating whether to pounce now or if he could get even closer before launching his attack.
But before he could make his decision, some birds flew off from the other side of the clearing, crowing loudly and alerting the elks.
One doe in the far back sniffed the air and seemed to grow uneasy. Audrey noticed that and tried to pick up any other scents, but failed to from her position. The elks nearest to the startled doe smelt something worrying too and started getting jumpy.
They obviously hadn't caught wind of Diego, he was on the other side of the clearing, and Audrey feared that something even more dangerous was nearby, lurking in the woods. She prayed that it wasn't a hippo, especially one that hadn't had a square meal in a while.
She saw the elks in the back talking to each other, but she couldn't make out what they were saying, and they uttered warning bellows to alert the rest of the herd, much to Diego's annoyance, as his target also lifted his head and started walking away.
He was losing the element of surprise, Diego knew it was now or never!
Without further ado, he leaped over the pile of snow, running at full speed. His quarry didn't immediately notice him, but inevitably, other elks did and bolted for safety.
"Tiger!" one doe screamed as they scattered across the clearing. The injured elk looked back, jolted, and ran as fast as he could after seeing the large predator charging straight at him.
Diego kept pace with him until the elk made a sharp turn, nearly causing Diego to spin out of control but he kept his footing and ran after the elk, speeding by some of his frightened herd mates before getting close enough to leap onto the giant ungulate's back.
The elk bellowed in pain as Diego hooked his claws into the former's hide, but just as victory seemed inevitable, something went wrong. While balancing himself on the stag's back and opening his jaws, Diego grew lightheaded and felt himself toppling to his left.
Realizing he was going to fall over, the tiger dug his claws deeper into the elk's hide, dragging both of them to the snowy ground, with Diego getting partially pinned under the elk's immense weight.
The elk's mind, however, stayed sharp and he rose up immediately, sucking up the pain as the tiger's claws ripped across his side. To his dismay, Diego found himself under the elk as the latter started thrashing with his legs.
Diego struggled to dodge his front legs as the elk jumped over him, one of his cloven hooves slashing the tiger's bicep, and he got kicked in the flank by his prey's back legs, knocking him to the ground.
Hissing in pain and then growling furiously, Diego shook and forced himself back to his feet as he saw his prey escaping. He had botched the attack! No, he couldn't have botched it!
"Diego!" he heard Audrey shouting from far away, which only fueled his anger.
He couldn't let his prey escape, he had to catch him! He couldn't look like a fool now! He just had to succeed!
Seeing his quarry darting towards the woods, following the other fleeing elks, Diego ignored his throbbing head and muscles and roared furiously as he bolted after the elks, telling them in no uncertain terms that he wasn't giving up.
"What are you doing?!" an incredulous Audrey cried as she jumped into the clearing, and ran after the tiger. "Stop it!"
It was harder keeping track of his target in the forest, but Diego's luck seemed to change, as in the dense forest, the stags had a harder time maneuvering than the does thanks to their antlers getting tangled in the branches.
Taking only a few seconds to catch his breath and evaluate his situation, Diego lost sight of his intended target, but saw two other bulls scrambling about, trying to find a path to run and panicking as they caught sight of him.
Desperate, Diego roared and blindly charged after the two, who in turn ran toward a pass between some rock formations, one of which had a log leaning on it. Thinking quickly, Diego hastily scaled the log as the two elks ran below him, trying to make their escape, with one of them stumbling and picking himself up.
Having to act fast, Diego thoughtlessly leaped off the log, claws unsheathed and jaws wide open, trying to catch the straggler, but instead, he bit into something much tougher and his claws scrapped against what felt like a rock.
Hearing an enraged guttural below, Diego opened his eyes and saw the last elk running into the distance while he himself was on the back of a rhino browsing on a bush, biting into the giant's shoulder hump.
"I made a huge mistake." Diego realized far too late as a confused Carl grunted and flailed his head around.
"Carl, you got a tiger on your back!" Frank shouted, browsing on another bush nearby.
Diego tried to abort the attack but found his sabers stuck, embedded in the rhino's thick hide and shoulder fat.
It hurt like hell but it wasn't a crippling injury for Carl. It just made him really, really mad, not helped by the tiger frantically scratching and pushing his paws against his back.
"So you wanna play, pussycat!? Your funeral!" Carl flailed around furiously, unable to shake Diego off, who in turn couldn't get off, and so Carl started running around in circles with the predator on his back.
"Don't worry, Carl!" Frank rushed after him. "I'll get him off ya!"
A panting Audrey arrived on the scene and what she saw was worse than she could have possibly imagined, making her shake in terror and her teeth chattered, as she heard the rhinos' enraged grunts and growls coupled with Diego's distressed yowls.
"Th-that id-diot! What w-was he thinking?!" she lamented, every instinct telling her to run away as fast as she could, but she didn't. She had to help the stubborn fool.
But what could she do? In the distance, she heard a distressed bellow from one of the elks but had no time to think about it as she was fixed on the morbid spectacle in front of her.
Diego was still stuck to the bucking rhino, trying with all his might to dislodge his sabers but to no avail, and being stuck to a moving, thrashing target didn't make it any easier.
"I got him!" he heard Frank's voice as the other rhino swung his horn, trying to hook the tiger, which forced Diego to lean to his left, clawing at Carl's flank for support, while Frank wound up striking his friend in the ribs.
"Ow!" Carl yelped and swung his head, his horn colliding with Frank's and pushing the latter back. "Watch where you swing that thing!"
Still subjected to torturous pain, Carl bellowed angrily and continued thrashing around while Frank shook his head and ran after him.
Audrey's legs shook and were frozen on the spot, but she forced herself to run ahead. Diego couldn't take on two rhinos at once.
"Just stand still, Carl!" Frank kept pursuing his friend, swinging his horn again.
Frustrated and embarrassed, Diego pushed his lower half up and clung to Carl's side again as Frank jabbed him in the hindquarters, very painfully.
"Ya call that helpin'!?" A furious Carl spun around. "Causin' more pain!?"
"I'm trying!" the panicked Frank retorted as his friend kept flailing and trashing, the sharp, piercing pain in his back overwhelming his brain.
Frank himself suddenly felt an agonizing pain in his tail and let out a high-pitched below. He spun around in circles with a hyena clinging to his tail, biting down on it.
"Augghhiie?!" Diego recognized her before realizing that Carl was heading toward a snow-covered bolder and barely jumped onto the rhino's back in time as the latter slammed his body against the boulder, causing both of them to get covered in snow.
"I'm going to die! I'm going to die!" Audrey thought as her paws were dragged through the snow and she was spun around, creating a huge circle in the snow.
She held on tightly to Frank's tail until she was abruptly flung off and fell on her rump.
Carl, meanwhile, had his face covered in snow, so he blindly ran around with Diego on his back and headed straight for another boulder.
Audrey shook her head and felt the tail still clenched in her jaws, but Frank was some distance away and had stopped spinning, while Carl collided head-first into the bolder and fell down, allowing Diego to push himself up and try to dislodge his sabers again.
Frank turned around, and seeing the hyena holding his severed tail, his eyes turned into slits and he grunted furiously. Audrey spat out his tail and stumbled to her feet, grinning nervously.
"You again!" the enraged Frank growled, momentarily forgetting about Carl's dilemma, and scraped the ground. "Came back for payback, haven't ya!"
Audrey gulped. Might as well go with that, she needed to distract the other rhino somehow.
"Eh...sure." she tried to sound bold and failed miserably. "Take that... big nose?"
"Big mistake, mongrel!" Frank charged at her and Audrey jumped out of his way as he uprooted a bush instead. "You meat-eaters never learn, do ya!"
Diego finally pulled his sabers free and rubbed his aching jaw when Carl growled and stirred, rising to his feet and shaking the snow off his face as Diego jumped off him.
Seeing Audrey being chased around by the other rhino, Diego glowered and leaped into action, or more specifically, onto Frank's head, making the brute bellow and shut his eyes tight as the tiger clawed his face.
"What are you doing!" Diego yelled at Audrey while Frank violently shook his head.
"Saving your keister! What does it look like?!" the outraged hyena retorted.
"You want to drown me in debts, do ya?!" Diego said as he leaped onto Frank's back and clawed at it, distracting the raging rhino.
"We're even on this one! Now beat it, I'll handle these horn-heads!"
Audrey didn't have the time to argue as she heard a furious grunt and saw Carl glaring at them. Audrey's heart raced while Carl grew a stupefied expression, looking back and forth between the former and Frank and Diego in utter confusion.
Audrey, unintentionally, made the choice for him by running away, prompting Carl to turn his full attention to his attacker, who was also currently assaulting his best friend.
"This way, ugly!" Audrey taunted him but was ignored.
"Get off me, you mangy moggie!" Frank yelled while running at full speed.
"I gotcha, Frank!" Carl followed him, while Audrey halted in the distance and cursed under her breath.
"Dammit!" she stomped the ground.
Bracing himself, Diego swung onto the left side of Frank's head, claws extended, and wrapped his body around it. Blinded and with the extra weight on his left, Frank lost balance and crashed to the ground.
Diego jumped off him as the rhino slid across the snow, leaving behind a wide trail in his wake, before finally coming to a halt thanks to a well-placed boulder, knocking him out cold.
"You'll pay for that!" Diego had no time to celebrate as a livid Carl came charging at him.
Diego leaped out of the way as Carl rammed his horn into a spruce tree, causing more snow to fall on top of him.
"I guess saying "sorry" won't cut it, huh?" Diego quipped sardonically.
Shivering, Carl shook himself clean and bellowed furiously at the tiger in response.
"I'll take that as a "no"!" Diego darted through the forest, with the grunting and growling rhino in hot pursuit.
Once more, Diego felt his body threatening to quit on him, on the verge of fatigue, but he pushed himself onward.
"Gotta handed it to ya! You're damn fast, despite your girth!" Diego couldn't help but quip as the rhino was gaining on him, before scoping him up with his shovel-like horn and flinging him into the air.
Diego used the momentum to latch high onto the nearest pine tree, when Carl ran up to and rammed it at full speed. It shook violently but Diego held on to it, noticing that the tree was standing over a gully. Not good.
Grunting and stomping the ground, Carl stepped back and charged at it again, this time causing the tree to fall over.
Diego clung on for dear life but fortunately, the tree was tall enough to fall onto the other side of the gully, and Diego pulled himself up and used the newly formed bridge to reach the other side, out of the rhino's reach.
"Thanks for the assist, horn-head. See ya!" he mocked Carl, who was stuck on the other side of the gully, grunting and bellowing furiously.
Despite his cheeky attitude, Diego knew he had to hightail it out of there before the vengeful rhino inevitably found a way around the small gully.
Trying to get away, and also looking for any sign of Audrey, Diego searched the forest and ran around a corner, before slamming into a hairy wall and falling back on his rump.
Shaking his head, the exhausted tiger opened his eyes and was faced with none other than Keith, who was in the middle of dragging a dead doe by her head.
Growling and turning around, the bear's eyes widened and he dropped his jaw, as well as his kill, before growing a furious scowl.
"You!"
"This...this just isn't my day..." Diego deadpanned in a hoarse voice as he backed away from the bloodthirsty bruin.
"Fer the love of berries and honey, how 'ave ya not drowned or froze ta death!" the vexed Keith blurted.
"You think all cats can't swim? I'm offended." Diego said sardonically before jumping back and dodging a swipe from Keith.
"Look, big guy. I know you're cross with me and all but...can we please reschedule this rematch for another day?" Diego panted. "I had a very rough day."
Chuckling maliciously, Keith reared up to his full height, noticing the cut on the tiger's front limb and his disheveled fur.
"Rough day, huh? All the easier for me ta get payback then!" he swung his paw but Diego dodged it and slipped between Keith's legs.
Roaring, the bear swiftly spun around and managed to hit Diego's injured flank, slamming him into a nearby tree.
Hissing in pain, Diego struggled to get up when Keith's massive paw seized him around the throat.
The tiger choked and dug his claws into the bear's massive arm as he was hoisted into the air. Keith didn't even budge and cackled in triumph.
"So how do ya wish ta go out?" he joked while raising his free paw. "Ah can gut ya like a big salmon ooor ah can jus' knock yur head clean off!"
"Aren't we creative...and to think I pegged ya for a big dum-dum." Diego rasped, to Keith's chagrin.
"Ya won't be so cheeky when the hurtin' starts!" he was about to swipe at Diego when he felt a crushing pain on his free limb, making him roar in agony and drop Diego.
Rising up, Diego wheezed and saw Audrey clinging to Keith's right bicep with her jaws, as the bear flailed around, roaring and trying to reach her.
He eventually managed to strike her in the gut and Audrey squealed as she was slammed to the ground, sporting bleeding claw marks on her belly. Diego saw the enraged Keith strike her in the face, sending her tumbling for several feet.
The sight of it made Diego's blood boil, so he braced himself and leaped at Keith from behind as the bear lumbered towards Audrey on two legs, blindsiding and knocking him off his feet. Diego jumped off before Keith faceplanted in the snow and landed on his feet.
"Hey! Keep your eyes on the prize, stupid!" he said snidely as Keith pushed himself up and swiped at the tiger, who jumped back.
"Missed me by a mile, slowpoke!" he taunted as the giant bear swiped again, roaring furiously and trying to pin him.
Diego ran between his legs, turned around, and jumped onto his back as the bear reared up and managed to grab hold of the tiger, sinking his claws into Diego's torso and flipping him.
Diego's back slammed to the ground, and shaking his head, he saw Keith towering over him, growling and raising his paw when Audrey appeared again and bit into it, causing the brute to roar in pain and flail her around before throwing her away.
"What's goin' on here!" he ranted while holding his bleeding paw.
Diego got up but the vexed Keith noticed it and swatted away before turning his attention to Audrey again, who was lying in a heap.
Laboriously, she rose to her feet, bearing her teeth and growling as the 12-foot giant lumbered towards her.
"Three's a crowd, fleabag!" Keith threatened her. "This here is between me an' the tiger! Stop meddlin' or ah'll rip your spine out!"
As he was about to strike her again, Diego jumped between them, to the bear's shock, and roared viciously.
"You're right, so stop picking on the lightweight and face me!"
Blinking before regaining his senses, Keith roared and swiped at the two, causing them to split up, circle around the bear, and band together again.
"I told ya to beat it!" Diego chastized the hyena before they dodged another swipe. "I told ya I can handle this!"
"Yes, you handled one scrape and fell straight into another!" Audrey retorted angrily when Keith charged at her and Diego shoved her out of the way, taking the hit.
He slid across the snow before stopping and groaning, "I didn't invite 'im... to the party."
Looking back and forth between Diego and Audrey, who was growling and raising her hackles at him, Keith took his chance to finish off the tiger.
Snarling, Audrey jumped and sank her teeth into the bear's heel and was promptly kicked off, her body leaving a wide skid mark across the snow.
Groaning, she raised her head and lamented, "We wouldn't be here if you hadn't been such a stubborn idiot!"
"Seems I'm rubbing off on you." Diego scoffed as he got up, his whole body aching, and barely dodged an attack from Keith.
Snarling, Audrey lunged at the giant but jumped back as Keith roared and swiped at her before swiftly doing the same to Diego as the tiger clumsily tried to blindside him, and instead backed away, panting heavily.
"Alright, enough!?" Keith ranted as he reared up, his anger now no longer stemming from a burning desire for vengeance but rather from sheer, overwhelming confusion. "What's goin' on here!"
Once more, he looked back and forth between Diego and Audrey, both bracing themselves for combat.
"Why is that mangy dawg defendin' ya?" the bear growled at Diego.
"I'm a hyena, not a canine, dirt-for-brains!" Audrey spat.
Sufficiently burned out and out of options, Diego resorted to one last strategy. He had no idea if it would work but that never stopped him before.
"Cuz she's with me, idiot. We're travel partners." he admitted as he rushed around the bear and stood in front of Audrey, once more shielding her with his own body.
"What's that supposed ta mean?" Keith blurted angrily.
"It means she and I are a team, working together. We're buddies, we have each other's backs." Diego elaborated. "Do you get it now?"
"She's a girl?" Keith scratched his head, while Audrey frowned indignantly.
"Yup." Diego nodded. "And clearly, momma bear never taught ya how to treat a lady."
Stumped, Keith made a face before erupting with uncontrollable laughter and clutching his belly.
"Diego...?" Audrey grew nervous. "What are you trying to do?"
"Shhh!" the tiger shushed her. "Look."
"Are ya pullin' mah leg, kitty cat!" Keith pointed at Diego.
"Nope. It's the truth. We're as tight as two mammals can be!" he insisted, causing Keith to laugh even harder.
"Is that why ya have no pack? You're such a loser that ya took a hyena for a mate? Or are jus' crazy!"
Audrey blushed at the suggestion while Diego shrugged his shoulders.
"Well...I know I'm an impressive specimen...well-muscled, chiseled jaw, charming and witty... I doubt any female could help but feel a little lightheaded around me, regardless of species."
Laughing harder than ever, Keith clutched his belly and fell to the ground.
"Move it." Diego whispered to Audrey and pushed her away.
Seeing the bear rolling on the ground laughing, Audrey got the memo and ran away, with Diego right behind her.
By the time Keith calmed down and wiped the tears from his eyes, he jolted as he realized that Diego was gone and grew furious.
"I've been hornswoggled!?"
"What were you doing?" Audrey blurted as she ran parallel to Diego.
"It's called a distraction." he said stiffly, already feeling his mind slipping.
"Hey! Get back here!" they heard Keith roaring in the distance.
"Aaand... it ran its course. Floor it!" Diego urged her as he looked over his shoulder, when Audrey screamed in fright.
Turning around, Diego came to a screeching halt as his nose touched the snout of a hulking gray giant, snorting furiously, prompting Diego to step back.
"You ain't giving me the slip this time, tiger!" Carl said dangerously, stomping the ground before noticing a mortified Audrey standing next to the big cat.
"What's that hyena doing here?"
Hearing Keith roaring in the distance, Diego improvised another plan. Again, he had no guarantee that it would work, but that hadn't stopped him before.
"Who cares?" he laughed and slashed Carl across the nose. "Don't you have a score to settle with me, horn-head?"
Now sporting bleeding claw marks on his snout, Carl was seeing red and his attention was now fully fixed on the impertinent feline.
Audrey's heart raced as the rhino bellowed and charged at Diego, causing her to jump out of the way as the rhino's bulk bolted past her and after the fleeing tiger.
"You can run, but ya can't hide, tiger!"
Trying to pinpoint Keith's location, Diego zigzagged through the trees, which Carl struggled to do, ramming his nose against a thick tree trunk, stepping back, and shaking his head.
Hearing roaring and crashing, Diego soon spotted Keith's towering forms, as he searched around and slashed the snow-covered pine branches out of his way.
Diego whistled to earn his attention. "Over here!"
Roaring, Keith charged at him, which Diego dodged, and seeing a rocky overhang nearby, he smirked, dodged another swipe from the bear, and ran around him, causing Keith to spin around until he started feeling dizzy and stopped.
Hearing bellowing and grunting in the distance, Diego seized his chance and attacked Keith's rump, anchoring himself to it with all his remaining strength.
Roaring furiously, Keith tried to swipe at him but as he turned, so did Diego.
"Let go of me!" Keith flailed while Diego kept his ear out for the sound of crashing and stampeding.
"Here it comes..." he thought before shouting, "Over here, horn-head!"
An incredulous Audrey arrived on the scene and hyperventilated at the sight before her while also hearing the sound of the incoming rhino. Had Diego completely lost it now!?
"What did you call me!?" Keith growled furiously as he circled around in a futile attempt to grab the tiger.
"Oh, don't worry. I wasn't trash-talking you." Diego said casually. "I was trash-talking him!"
The second he said that, Carl busted through the snow-covered bushes. Startled, Keith spun around and Diego jumped off him and bolted to safety as Carl's horn crashed straight into Keith's lower half.
The bear let out a laughably high-pitched squeak as he was rammed into the rocky overhang with tremendous force, hitting the back of his head against the stone wall. The force of Carl's charge caused a crack to run up the overhang and knocked down a bunch of loose rocks, two of which clonked Carl on the head, and tons of snow, burying the two brutes.
Diego hung his head and panted. "Didn't... think... it would work."
"You didn't think it would work?!" a panicked Audrey ran up to him while the partially buried Keith and Carl groaned, the bear leaning over the rhino.
"Let's go." a hoarse Diego nudged her away. "I'm sure their skulls are too thick for a concussion."
Her mouth hanging ajar, the stunned Audrey was wheezing as Diego pushed her away and they ran off into the woods.
They didn't get far before Diego was forced to take a breather. Audrey also felt exhausted but in her case, it was more due to sheer shock.
"Okay...we can officially...write this off as...a very crappy day." Diego said between pants.
"What's the matter with you!" Audrey yelled at him. "We...we almost died! Twice!? You almost died now!"
"But I didn't. Look, Audrey..." Diego panted and forced a grin, struggling to even stand straight "...can ya be mad at me some other time."
Audrey watched him in disbelief, before lowering her ears and letting out a low throat growl.
"You're still treating this like a joke!"
"No...not at all. Seriously, ya can't be... mad at me right now." he chuckled weakly, sounding downright delirious.
"Why not?" the hyena asked tensely.
"Cuz you need to drag me somewhere safe...again..." Diego replied before promptly falling over.
Shocked, Audrey watched the unconscious feline breathing weakly, overwhelmed by a mixture of mind-numbing worry and sheer, unadulterated anger.
If he lived through this, she was so going to kill him!
I think this was a much more lighthearted chapter, kind of straddling the line between comedic slapstick and the life-and-death struggles between wild animals in nature.
I think I do better writing dialogue-based humor than silent slapstick, so writing for Scrat was not easy but I think I did alright here. Remember when his shenanigans used to be (for lack of a better word) grounded in reality before he started breaking apart Pangea and creating the universe while driving a U.F.O.? I mean, he did occasionally cause glaciers to break apart but still, it's nothing compared to what he did in the fourth and fifth movies.
I remember in The Mealtdown, they had piranhas of all fish living in the ice lakes/ponds, which was quite odd, even given the mixing of animals from various parts of the world and different time periods typical in this franchise, so I replaced it with a piscine predator that fits the chilly setting better; a pike, probably the scariest freshwater predators in our temperate latitudes. Unfortunately, he never ate Scrat's acorn, so the enraged squirrel couldn't tap into his secret kung fu powers XD
Speaking of replacements, the second movie introduced a trend I am not fond of; making up fictional prehistoric animals instead of using real ones, of which there are a lot of exotic oddities from the Cenozoic to choose from. One of those fictitious creatures was a beaver sporting a unicorn horn, which obviously never existed, but there were actually several species of horned rodents from the Late Miocene belonging to the genus Ceratogaulus, or "horned gophers", as they are colloquially known, even though they are not related to real gophers (they are actually closer to the squirrel group, including ground squirrels such as marmots and prairie dogs, while gophers are closer to beavers, ironically), but they were still one of many examples of stocky, fossorial rodents that dug tunnels for a living, albeit while sporting horns, something no other known rodent did.
Lastly, Audrey saying that she's a hyena and not a canine is a double entendre, since real hyenas are not related to the dog family and are in fact most closely related to mongooses, fossa, civets, and (more distantly) cats, while Hyaenodon itself isn't even a carnivoran (the group that includes the aforementioned cat-like predators and the dog-like ones, including bears, seals, weasels, raccoons, etc.) but belongs to one of its sister orders; the hyaenodonts, who have (controversially) been placed in the "creodont" group along with the more obscure oxyaenids.