Life was good, if a bit hectic.

Hectic because damn it, Lily didn't know the first thing about being a teenager.

Her mind jumped from now to the past, reliving memories and losses.

Forgotten it , more like.

You see, when one is married for years, have been through pregnancy, had to cook for dozen of guests, one forgets small things.

Nevertheless, those small things will get one in trouble.

Like when Lily went and tried Petunia's lipstick- she had not even realized it was not hers, or that she used the exact shade her sister used- and Mom blew a gasket.

Because she was only 16, and young girls did not wear lipstick with that color! They did not use one at all! Maybe in special occasion, if it was their birthday, or it was new year or else.

And Lily never wore one in that age. She started it after getting together with James.

-it was not that he nagged. He just said her lips were a little on the small side. And all those other girls wore it, and they all had an eye on her man.

The second time, was when she woke up before everyone.

She used to do so. Merlin knew James never woke up early, or made breakfast ever. He slept well past midday, and every time she told him , he would say they did not need money, and let him be. And after she had gotten with child, her bladder would not let her to sleep much.

So she developed a routine, she would wake up, make breakfast, and then start on her research. Sometimes it was for the order, sometimes it was for herself . after all she did not want to sit idle and just raise bay after baby. She wanted to be someone, get her mastery in charms or become a mediwich.

James never said anything, but he would find something to distract her if she did it in front of him. He would kiss her, or talk about how a child would get anxiety if he was not with his mother, or even have his friends come over. Every other night, Sirius was at their place. it was not like that she wanted to run away with the first man at her workplace, or leave her baby to be raised by elves and James! She wanted to have a part time job, decide what to do for a mastery, lay low for a couple years and then do all that.

Not that she was complaining, but it was on her nerves…

Not much after she was sitting in an empty house, no James, no baby, no nothing. A lady of massive fortune, but no one to share it with. The day after her last chat with Albus..

So she woke up, not remembering that she was in past, that none of those things happened. She didn't notice her flat stomach, nor the house -her parents-, she started on pancakes, then moved to coffee and bacon.

"WHAT IN THE WORLD!"

Startled, she turned back to the voice.

Her mother, standing in her night ware, gaping.

"how in the … how.. when did you learn to cook?"

"ehh, its you know"

Pathetic. Her attempt was plain pathetic.

"move.let me at least check if you were going to poison us all"

Right. Last time she did it, Severus was sleeping in their house. She started to make pancakes to cheer him up then, and although he tried lending a hand, the results were catasropic. They added salt instead of suger, the most typical error of not-cooks.

They had fun. Even though half of his face was bruised and he couldn't move one of his arms too much. They threw flour to each other, made a mess of the floor and the kichen and themselves. Petunia yelled at them so much her voice was raspy after that, cursing as colorfully as she could while Mom and Dad were satnding aside, wide eyed at the rather extensive library of their teenage girl.

Severus laughed so hard… he was rolling on the floor.

And that after noon, she kissed him for the first time, in their place.

She wondered if she could have done more. If she had forgiven him after that…

But she couldn't could she? He had hurt her in the worst way, calling her the M word in front of the whole school. He had promised it didn't matter. She had kissed that mouth, the mouth calling her a thing, not worthy, less than human. He was getting darker and she had excused his behaior every time. Defended him in his front and at his back.

And he show the whole world he didn't give a damn. he bit her hand and spat in her face.He wanted fame, power and glory more than what she could offer in friendship and love.

All those nights he stayed in her home, all those lessons her dad gave him- because his would do a thing- in manners and politeness, and all those meals they shared, her Mom's hugs, meant nothing.

Not that her parents get it.

"why don't you go and have a talk with Severus?"

Or

"he must not have mean it Lily. His hormons must have addled his brain"

Or

"would you give these cookies to him?"

As if. She would never share a jota of her parents love with the bastard who aligned with monsters hell bent on eradicating people like them.

Enough was enough.

"MOVE IT LILS!"

Yeap, her mom, kichen. She moved as fast as she could. Giving her space.

She could hear her muttering under her breath " first she breaks up with Severus, then that Potter brat shows up on our doorstep. God knows what goes on in her brain!"

Yes, Mom was forever against James. She would compare him to Severus at every opportunity:Severus was polite, James was always laughing at the smallest thing. Severus never pranked anyone, James and co had pranked Petunia's fiancé in their engagement party. Severus was a hardworking lad, always doing things, proficient as a carpenter, not half bad at being a mechanic, but James? Lazy, always relying on magic and his good fortune.

Even dad.

"Severus despises alcohol, but your James drinks like there is no tomorrow, his pals are always attached to him with glue. He doesn't know first thing about being independent and thinking for himself, nor does he know when to stop. These men, these kinds of men will never allow you to florish."

As if Severus would. He lurked in the background, stucking her every move. Looking at her like a creep even after she was engaged. He could have been a brilliant potion master, he could have asked Dumbledore and Slughorn. They would for sure let him stay in the castle during apprenticeship, work as a TA or something. Sure, it would take more time compared to the standard time of mastery, but they could have been together.

But no, Mister Severus Snape couldn't wait. He had to apply to a master with darkest origins, backed up with Malfoys money. He had to get it as fast as he could to have a bloody record. Youngest potions master in britain maybe. He had sold his talent, and his life to the higest bidder. He had traded her life, her family's for getting rich, getting famous.

Told you-know-who about the prophecy.

"at least this time it doesn't taste like a salt mine"

She shrugged, maybe she was not that exaggerating.

That was a week ago.

Today was what took the top. The straw that broke the camels back, or the last act that got her grounded until school.

"what were you thinking!"

Yes what was she thinking, telling Vernon she was magic.

When the oaf started laughing, she took out her wand and transfigured the vase to a mouse, statue of secrecy be damned.

"Do you know you got a warning from the bloody Ministry of Magic!"

Yes she knew, blah blah blah. It wasn't as if they would expel her or anything.

Personally, she thought it was more for Petunia's benefit. To shut her up. Dad looked extremely pleased that Vernon left the house in such a hurry.

So, what to do with all her time in her room to not go barmy?

Make a list?

Why did she land in 1976 instead of 75? Was there a reason?

What was that memory?

What was the ring and that hollow insignia?

How to get Severus to live, and spy?

Getting back to james.

She thought it was a straight forward plan. There was a time gap of 4-5 year between now and when Snape killed himself. The memory she carried around her neck on an invisible chain and vial, she couldn't view until she found a pensive. The ring and hollow was the last thing on her mind. James on the other hand, had his flaws, but he was far better than anyone else, and she loved him. With time, he would have grown out of his most annoying habits, fatherhood could change him for the better. He had changed for her, giving up his bullying and harassing, eyeing other girls. He was charming and had a good head on his shoulders, could support a family, and was her husband.

It was not like she had that many choices. Frank was a good man who ended up with Alice, and Edgar Bones was too old. Fabian wasn't the marrying type and Gideon loved Amelia bones. She was not one for getting between lovers, and other than those , there were not many who could keep up with her mentally. More important she never saw herself with anyone but James, or in wishful thinking Severus, if he gave up the deatheater dream. She never felt a pull, or any emotion for anyone but those two.

And one of them was in first stages of becoming a blood purist death eater thirsty for her blood.

So getting back to james it was.