Chapter 5: Crossing the Rubicon

Despite the very desirable recent development of her blossoming relationship with Lewis and a second date - very far from any bodies of water - on the horizon, Cleo had really never been more miserable. It had been three weeks since her life had completely turned upside down on that awful trip to Mako Island and only one week since her disastrous first date with Lewis. Every day was becoming a slog. She was taking two baths a day, in the morning and afternoon, just to feel somewhat normal, and she could swear that even that was having less effect than it had at the start. The 'itch', as she sometimes thought of the feeling that overcame her when she hadn't transformed, was turning into anything but that. It was becoming something that bordered on pain. Emma and Rikki didn't seem to have the same problem, but they were spending inordinate amounts of time gallivanting in the sea. No, this problem seemed to be uniquely Cleo.

And then there was Lewis. It wasn't that he wasn't being accommodating or understanding. Hell, he seemed more protective of their secret than they did, sometimes. No, it was the way that he looked at her now, when he thought she wasn't looking at him. She was so used to that particular light in his eyes when he looked at her. He seemed to admire her, to delight in her presence, and to just generally be comforted around her. Cleo knew the feeling well, because she had always felt the same about him. This new look, though, was something wholly unfamiliar to her. She wasn't a mind reader, of course (as far as she knew, anyway, the magic began and stopped with the tail) and Lewis had never said anything to particularly suggest that this was what was on his mind, but she saw the way he looked at her with something like curiosity, the way he sometimes stared at a particularly interesting question in a textbook.

'Whatcha thinking about?' his voice interrupted her thoughts, as if she had summoned him.

'Lewis!' Cleo exclaimed, looking up to see him smiling at her. It was such a warm, Lewis kind of smile that Cleo instantly felt guilty for even thinking that he possibly thought of her as anything other than his best friend and his new girlfriend.

'Can I join you?' he asked, and then promptly sat down next to her on the grassy verge overlooking the beach.

'I didn't say yes,' she said, but she was already laughing and reaching out to hug him. She wasn't fooling anybody.

'So, I was thinking…' Lewis began, before she could say anything else, and casting a quick look around himself to check that they were indeed alone. This wasn't the most popular beach in the area and when so many other, better options were available, people tended to avoid it.

'Yes?'

'I was thinking that maybe I could…'

'Yes?' Cleo asked again, feeling her heart start to pitter-patter in a way that only Lewis ever seemed to be able to induce.

'Maybe I could take a few samples?' Lewis said quickly, tripping over the last few words as if hoping she might not notice them.

Cleo stared at him, mouth slightly open, and when she realised that, she shut it again.

'Samples?' she repeated, feeling stupid.

'Well, it's like this,' Lewis launched in, seeming to interpret Cleo's shock as something like agreement. 'The way I see it, I'm pretty knowledgeable about biology and I've got access to all sorts of equipment and gear at school, and the things my parents have bought me at home, and it's not like you can just go to any marine biologist and ask them to–'

'Lewis!' Cleo nearly shrieked, finally finding her voice. 'Are you asking me permission to dissect me? What is wrong with you?!'

Now it was Lewis' turn to look shocked. He visibly paled and drew back from Cleo's accusing glare.

'I-I-I was just trying to help…' he stammered out.

Cleo said nothing, but she could feel tears starting to sting her eyes and Lewis must have seen that, because deep remorse replaced shock on his features.

'I'm so sorry, Cleo, no, of course I'm not… of course not,' he babbled. 'I just thought that maybe if I can help you learn more about all of this - the parameters, the rules, if there are any, then maybe we can get you back to normal?'

He had said it. Cleo had to bite back a sob. Normal. Because she wasn't normal anymore, of course not, but he had never said that to her.

'Well, I'm sorry,' Cleo managed, trying to put some bite into her words around all the tears that were now streaming down, 'To inconvenience you with my freakishness. Maybe it's better if we don't spend time together anymore until–'

'Stop that,' Lewis said, and now he was looking pretty hurt, too. 'Cleo, I won't pretend that all of this' and he waved his hand towards her legs and then towards the sea 'doesn't bother me, but I still see you. You're my best friend, you're my girlfriend, maybe, and I just meant that–'

Lewis had cut himself off and looked like he was warring internally. Cleo used that time to settle herself down a little bit.

'I meant that I can see how much the situation is bothering you,' he finally continued. 'I want to help. If that means looking deeper into what exactly happened and if there's a way to reverse it, then I want to do that. Not for me. For you.'

Cleo nodded, though her tears wouldn't stop flowing. That was happening more and more lately, and she hated it.

'Thanks, Lewis,' she said softly, and extended her hand to him. He grasped it firmly and then pulled her in for a warm hug, which she enthusiastically leant into.

When she finally pulled herself away and looked up at him again, the tears had stopped and she allowed herself a minute to consider that she was so very lucky. Lewis could have run in the opposite direction the minute he learned what she was. He could have betrayed her. Instead, here he was, trying to help.

'Can we talk about all that later, maybe?' she asked quietly, still holding his hand, and looking down at her lap. 'I was hoping we might discuss our upcoming date on Saturday instead.'

Lewis grinned broadly.

'I was thinking we could go to the cinema,' he told her. 'Maybe a quick dinner beforehand? Nothing fancy, but I know you love that burger place by the mall.'

'That sounds great,' Cleo agreed, finally looking up and returning his smile.

Things weren't all that bad. In four days, she'd be going on a perfect date with Lewis where her problem had no chance of surfacing, so to speak. For now, she'd allow herself to just enjoy herself. Maybe Lewis really could find a way to fix her. She briefly considered telling Emma and Rikki about it, but dismissed it almost immediately. Those two seemed to actually be enjoying this curse, against all odds. Well, she never would.

She'd bet on it.

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The school bell rang, signalling an end to Cleo's least favourite class, and she was ready to head out and meet Lewis so he could walk her home when she was overtaken by Emma and Rikki, who seemed to appear magically out of the crowd of students to flank her.

'Come swimming with us,' Rikki demanded, with a smile but a tone that didn't seem to invite any opposition.

'Please?' Emma added, giving Rikki a significant look that Cleo was sure she thought Cleo wouldn't notice.

'No, thank you,' she said firmly. It was becoming a daily occurrence, this request from them to have her join them in their marine frolics. 'I'll keep saying it: it's not for me.'

'You're a mermaid, of course it's for you,' Rikki scoffed, even as Emma and Cleo shushed her with panicked glances at the dissipating sea of students ahead of them.

'No, I'm not,' Cleo said firmly. 'Maybe that's your thing, but I am 100% happy on land. Never learned to swim and I'm never going to.'

By this point, they were far enough away from others that there was a bit of privacy, and Emma had pulled her to one side to stop her.

'Cleo, it's making you sick,' she said when they had stopped walking. Rikki stood to the side, her head turned as if scanning for potential eavesdroppers, but clearly just uncomfortable with the conversation.

Cleo didn't meet her eyes.

'I'm fine,' she said, although she knew perfectly well that wasn't true. The excessive crying, the sick feeling, the third bath she had added yesterday - it all pointed to a situation that was rapidly becoming unsustainable. She couldn't admit it, of course, because the prescription that these two had was entirely unsuitable for her. She had no interest in turning all the way into a sea creature. Sure, this curse had been forced on her, but she still had some kind of moral standing as long as she resisted actually swimming in the sea. Or so she told herself.

'You're not fine,' Rikki said.

'Oh, what do you know?' Cleo shot back. 'You and Emma are best friends now and honestly, I don't think you even need me anymore. So go on, have fun, go back to ignoring me and I'll do the same for you.'

'Cleo, how can you say that?' Emma quickly said, cutting off Rikki's undoubtedly sharp retort before it came out of her mouth. 'Rikki cares about you and so do I. We want to help you.'

'Then help me figure out how to get rid of this,' Cleo demanded, suddenly feeling the tears start to her eyes again. She was so heartily sick of crying at this point, but the floodwaters just wouldn't recede. Maybe mermaids just cried a lot. She would have asked Rikki and Emma but she wasn't exactly feeling so close to them right now.

'We have been looking out for you every day since… that day,' Rikki spat out, looking properly annoyed. 'I threatened to drown your boyfriend!'

'And that's supposed to prove we're friends?' Cleo asked, the absurdity of Rikki's statement temporarily staying the tears.

'Rikki just means that we're in this together,' Emma said, still in that gentle, mothering tone she liked to adopt with her when she knew Cleo was feeling extra sensitive. And while normally Cleo would have happily accepted her friend's attempt at comfort, something about all of this made her rebel.

'I can't do this,' she choked out over her tears, which had returned with a vengeance, and she took off at a slight run, knowing she had to get away from them. Home wasn't an option, with her dad demanding she either do homework or chores, and her sister doing everything possible to make her life miserable. She and Lewis were supposed to have gone to their favourite cafe but she didn't feel like going anywhere public right now. So she just let her feet take her wherever they would. Somehow, she ended up at the same beach where she and Lewis had sat yesterday. She didn't know how long she stayed there, but she was startled from her reverie by Lewis' appearance.

'Cleo!' he hissed, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her to her feet. 'Come on, we have to go.'

'Lewis! What is going on?!' Cleo responded, planting her feet as firmly as possible in the powdery sand of the beach.

'I'll explain on the way,' Lewis replied breathlessly.

'You'll explain now,' Cleo shot back, pulling her arm out of his grip.

Lewis stood and stared at her, his mouth slightly open and his chest rising and falling. Had he run here?

'It's Emma,' he breathed after a second. 'She's in trouble. I can't find Rikki so it's got to be you.'

Cleo narrowed her eyes.

'What exactly do you need me to do?'

Lewis huffed and his eyes rolled up to the sky momentarily as if he was mentally begging for patience.

'Emma jumped off a goddamn pier to follow some boat she said was doing something illegal and next thing I know she isn't coming back up but the boat has stalled.'

All of this came out in one breath, as if it was all one word.

'What am I supposed to do, exactly?' Cleo said although she had already started walking in the direction Lewis had been pulling her. Could Emma truly be in trouble?

Lewis looked entirely lost for words and Cleo wasn't about to help him. So. This was the moment, was it? Had Lewis decided that it was ok for Cleo to sacrifice her humanity to try and help Emma (if she's even in trouble, a nasty voice whispered to her), or had he already decided some time ago that she wasn't human? She was still walking with him and finally, Lewis spoke.

'I know this won't be easy for you,' Lewis said quietly. 'I know you're frightened. In your shoes,' and he looked like he was mentally slapping himself for using the expression, 'I'd be terrified. I wouldn't go near the water, let alone the ocean. But it's Emma.'

Cleo didn't know what to say, exactly, but they seemed to have arrived at the spot. Lewis pointed across a reasonably short distance to a rusty-looking boat that seemed to be raising some nets.

'This isn't a fishing spot,' Cleo whispered, her mouth going dry and her body feeling like it was turning to jelly. 'Lewis, what if Emma's…?'

She didn't have to finish the sentence. It was clear enough what the issue was.

'How?' she said quickly, turning to face Lewis, and his expression was a mix of so many different emotions that she didn't think she could begin to decipher them if she had a year to study it.

'Here,' he said, handing her a small knife, the kind he usually had with him on fishing trips. She realised his tackle box was sitting by his feet. Ever the fisherman. 'You might need to saw it a bit. I'm going to raise an alarm with the water police. Like you said, this isn't a fishing spot.'

Cleo chanced a quick glance at the boat.

'Lewis, I can't swim,' she whimpered, and she was instantly annoyed with herself that once again, she was starting to cry. Her eyes felt hot, her face felt hot, everything was crashing in all at once.

'Please, Cleo,' he said, holding her hand and looking at her intently. 'You have to try.'

The last few weeks came bearing down on Cleo in that awful moment. Everything that had changed, her whole life upended, the complications that she knew about and the ones that she didn't, because surely this hell alone wasn't going to be the only problem she had to deal with. The fact that the boy she deeply cared about and maybe even loved probably only saw her as a test subject or, worse, a pathway to fame and fortune in the world of marine biology. Their little trio, Emma, Cleo and Lewis, all broken up by this thing that had ripped into their lives. And then, there was a small ray of light.

It took a moment, no more, but she realised with startling clarity that today, right now, she could just let go of it all. So she did.

There was no real thought in the action. Fear, embarrassment, shame, grief - it all disappeared and instead, Cleo was diving down, down, down into the water and when she hit the water and her body changed, she suddenly felt like laughing. The most wonderful relief permeated her very being, as if she had been denying herself the only thing that mattered and had finally allowed herself to indulge. It all felt right.

It was true, what she had told Lewis. She couldn't swim. But that had been with legs. As she sped out towards where she could see the boat's hull (holy hell, she could see as far underwater as she could on land!), she realised that this felt better than anything she could ever have imagined. Had she always been meant for this? How could she have denied herself for so long? She raced towards the boat and saw that Lewis' guess had been correct. The nets were rising slowly, but tangled in those nets was a frantic-looking Emma. She spotted Cleo and surprise crossed her face, but she couldn't say anything, of course. Cleo wasted no time in pulling out the knife and cutting into the parts of the net where she could make the most progress. The nets were still rising slowly, but she wasn't making enough progress, and a wave of panic overcame her. What if she couldn't get Emma out in time? Then again, when Emma was out of the water, she'd change back so surely it wouldn't matter?

Of course it would matter, she told herself. The fishermen would want to know just how Emma came to be out there and how she had managed to get tangled in the nets and most of all, how had she managed to hold her breath for as long as she would have had to. And of course, they might see her as she came up out of the water. No, it would certainly matter. She went back to frantically sawing the net, and as another tiny filament broke in two, she raised her hand and slapped it at the stupid thing in frustration.

And that was when it happened.

The net practically dissolved around Emma's body, breaking apart around her into pieces. Cleo was momentarily stunned, Emma certainly also looked more than a little surprised, but she wasted no time in grabbing Cleo's hand and the two quickly sped away from the boat. Cleo allowed Emma to guide her, as she seemed to know where she was going, and eventually they found themselves on a little patch of shore that was full of rocky outcroppings. Cleo followed Emma's lead, swimming towards the rocks and eventually manoeuvring her way out of the water.

As she changed back, she let out a deep groan. Emma looked back and smiled humorlessly.

'Yeah, that's happened to me before,' she told Cleo, looking at the shredded remains of her shorts still attached to the waistband. Emma was seemingly ok, wearing a dress, and Cleo was annoyed that she hadn't thought of this before diving in.

'It's ok,' Emma reassured her. 'Rikki and I have stashed a bunch of clothes out here.'

She climbed out further and found a patch behind a rock, where she dipped in a hand and pulled out a skirt. Cleo gratefully accepted and pulled it on herself.

'Nice planning,' she told her.

'Well, we've had some time to figure a few things out,' Emma said quietly. 'Though I have to say, whatever you just did back there… we haven't figured that one out.'

Cleo felt her cheeks flame and she looked down.

'Fantastic,' she muttered. 'I'm a freak amongst freaks.'

'First of all,' Emma told her, tilting her chin up so she'd be looking at her. 'Rude. We are not freaks. And second,' she added, cutting into the protest that Cleo was clearly about to make, 'You are not a freak, you're a prodigy, that's different.'

'Prodigy?' Cleo repeated, skeptically.

'Cleo Sertori, who doesn't know how to swim and hasn't been in the ocean since she turned into a mermaid, managed to swim about 100 metres and then figured out how to explode a net without injuring the person caught in it, to boot. Yeah, I'd say you're a prodigy.'

Cleo couldn't help it. She smiled.

'It felt really good,' she said quietly. 'Swimming in the open water, I mean.'

Emma smiled back.

'That's what we've been trying to tell you!'

Cleo rolled her eyes. This was not exactly the time for 'I told you so'. Especially as she had a few choice words for Emma's wisdom to swim out after a boat in the middle of the day.

'We'd better get back to Lewis,' Emma said. 'He must be worried.'

'How did you know?' Cleo asked.

'He was with me when I jumped in after those bloody poachers,' she said angrily. 'I heard them talking by the docks about their plans to go after a protected patch. I figured I'd follow them and… Lewis tried to talk me out of it, but I wasn't waiting for his permission. When I saw you underwater, I figured he must have gone to you for help.'

'He did,' Cleo confirmed. Emma must have seen something in her face because she reached out to hold Cleo's hand.

'He really cares about you, you know?' she said. 'Even with this,' she gestured at her lower half, 'He knows that you're still you. He wants you to be happy.'

Cleo didn't contradict Emma, but she had other thoughts on the matter. But for the first time in weeks, what was most interesting to her, was that she seemed to care less about what Lewis thought of her than thinking about when her next chance to go swimming out to sea would come about. Because, Cleo realised, with startling clarity, she was a mermaid now.