AN: Kaiser Umbra! Cyber Cookie, you got the Ed Edd n' Eddy ref! Me and my best friend Plank love that show...Shut up, Steve, it's not stupid slapstick. It gave us the greatest line known to man: "The Hammer of Discipline, do you live in a cave?!"

Disclaimer: Bonesboy15 doesn't own Helluva Boss or Naruto. The following is a written work of fan-fiction. It contains adult language and situations. Reader discretion is advised.

One Knuckleheaded Glutton

I Don't Know What We're Talking About

A man walked into a small hut and lit a candle. He made the sign of the cross and bowed his head for two minutes. Then he addressed the bedridden ill he came to help.

"And how are your eyes feeling today?"

"Better."

"How better?" Raphael asked as he sat beside his bandaged patient.

"Much better." Raquel smiled, a small broken thing. Raphael sighed as he recognized the trauma behind it. So many orphans of war had such a terrible smile. "Thank you, Raphael, truly for your aid, but you are now needed elsewhere."

He was, he'd been heeded by a Cardinal to head to St. Louis. A possession had gone on for too long unchecked and the priest there was too inexperienced to handle it. He needed to oversee the situation before it was exacerbated by the inclusion of a third party. That could come in the form of misguided charlatans that took advantage of the Faithful, or worse, disenchanted exorcists trained in the methods that Father found unforgivable.

Raquel, as Michael pointed out, was their brother. A Fallen not cast down to Hell, one they had a chance to redeem. He had Duty to serve his Father's children...but did that not also include their brother?

"Will you be all right?"

"I will be fine, Raphael. Go. Guide the sheep as you're meant to."

"...Crass humor, brother." Raphael allowed a bell of a laugh to leave his lips before he rose and snuffed the candle. "I'll leave you with this scent."

"Thank you." Raquel took a deep breath in and exhaled. "Ah...is this a new candle?"

"Yes, it's made to smell like cherry blossoms. They promote healing and new life." Raphael explained with a smile that couldn't be seen. He patted Raquel's hand and rose from his seat. He left, but almost stopped as he shut the door. He could have sworn he heard the Fallen's breath hitch, as if he wanted to cry, but shook the feeling off.

The door slammed shut as her boyfriend stormed back into his room and collapsed onto the stupidly fucking comfortable bed beside her. He sank into the mattress face first as The Wriggler snapped about. A constant growl filled the room. A genuine angry one, not the sexy one.

"What, did she ask you to unclog a shitter pipe or something?" Loona asked, not looking up from her phone. The posts she made of her boyfriend's bedroom were blowing up. Demons were so fucking weird, most of his walls were bare except that weird framed SuperSatan poster with the signature on it. She didn't know who M. Fisto Pheles was until she searched the name, and fuck the poster hanging on the wall was worth a fucking fortune. She really hoped Blitzø didn't ever learn about it.

"Don't, Loon."

She looked up from her phone at him when the bed shifted. He rolled on his side away from her and took in a shuddering breath. She set her phone down on the mattress and then reached to grab his shoulder. He growled and Loona arched her eyebrow.

"The fuck are you so pissy about? Is unclogging her toilets really that fucking bad?"

"I really don't want to talk about it."

"Babe." She pulled on his shoulder and rolled him onto his back. His eyes were glowing and he kept glaring straight up while he kept his arms crossed. Okay, weird. She rubbed his shoulder. "Doof–?"

"Loona, just give me a fucking second, please." His eyes closed and he huffed. "I'm trying to calm down."

"...Without a Boop?" That doesn't sound like him. Normally, he just asked for a Boop. Shit, she'd started asking for Boops whenever she could get one. That shit was as addicting as fucking cigarettes. Probably better than them, too.

"If we try to Boop right now, I might bite you. I don't want to bite you."

"Sounds, kinky–"

"Goddammit, Loon." He groaned and pressed his hands into his face. He snarled into them. "Fuck. Fuck! Fuck, fuck, shit, fuck! God fucking dammit!"

"Whoa, Babe–!?" Loona recoiled from the loud exclamations and watched him warily. If he was going to have random bouts of anger, she was not staying in the same room. She'd been through that in the Orphanage when she was twelve. She felt no remorse when that psychopath was put down after she and eight others got hurt when he snapped during 'recess'.

"Just...venting. Fuck." He let his hands flop down and his eyes opened to reveal their beautiful blues again. He finally looked at her and took in her posture before his ears turned back and he looked away...was he...ashamed? "Sorry, Loon."

"Wanna explain what the fuck that was all about?" She asked, still eyeing him. He sighed and rolled his head back to look her in the eye.

"My sister has no sense of fucking tact, that's what."

"...You've known her for how long, again?" Loona asked with an arched brow. This was news? She learned that the first time they fucking met. He rolled his eyes.

"You're hilarious." He huffed. His hand reached out to her and, upon another look from her to him, she took it. He guided her over to straddle him and let his hands rest on her hips. The dumb big ol' blue puppy dog eyes stared up at her. "...I've got to ask now, don't I?"

Oh, clever boy. She let her lips pull up into a small smile. She hovered her nose just out of reach of his.

"Ask for what?"

"...You're so mean." He whimpered. It wasn't a genuine one, she could see the twinkle of amusement in his eyes.

"Use your words, Doof." She cooed at him as she leaned in and her claws traced along his shoulders. He rumbled and his claws flexed into her hips. She bit back a growl and groaned at the feeling of his claws on her skin. Fucking tease.

"Loon, can I have a Boop?" The fact this cheeky asshole added a little whimper to his plea...Ugh, she should not find this as adorable as she does.

"Of course, Doof." Her tail wagged as she brought her nose tip down and met his much cooler one. He rumbled against her as she relaxed into him. Their lips teased each other before the Boop became a close intimate makeout session. She initiated another tongue war, won – yes, that's another streak on the horizon for Loona! – and claimed her prize by mapping out his mouth once more. Once that was done, and the need for air came about again, she broke the kiss and rested her forehead against his to look him in the eye. "Mm-mwah...Feel better?"

"So much. I love you, Loona" He sighed and his claws traced up over the back of her hips to wrap his arms around her. He nuzzled into her and she smiled as she nuzzled back. Sweet, cuddly Doof was the best Doof.

"I love you, Doof." She returned with a sigh of her own as her eyes closed. His tail made a wondrous percussion while hers swoosh-swoosh-swooshed in the background as they laid atop his ridiculously comfy bed. "So, before we get back to your little temper tantrum–"

"Oh, you think that was a tantrum?" He snorted. She leveled him with a look and grimaced.

"They get worse? ...I have to reevaluate this relationship," she said. He tightened his arms around her and whined. She snorted and pecked him on the side of the muzzle. Doof. "Kidding, Babe."

"Not funny."

"It was hilarious, you know it." She smirked and huffed his wonderful Violet and Almost Coconut Scent. He grumbled another disagreement, but nuzzled her again. She smiled and sighed. "Anyway, before you came back, we were gonna talk about why we never broke this bed?"

"We didn't break the other beds either. I mean, not for lack of trying..."

"You know what I meant." She rolled her eyes.

"Mostly because Bee's parties are sporadic. I didn't want someone to come in when we were...intimate. Plus, inter-ring transit is monitored. Do it too much?"

"Douchifer gets back at you?"

"Douchifer gets back at you." He nodded and she harrumphed.

"Asshole."

"I know, right?"

"Well, with my question about your bed answered...why were you shouting at your sister?" She gave him a look and he sighed. The Wriggler stopped doing its thing. She ghosted her claws over his shirt – she loved the way the fabric fit to his chest – and rested her head against his.

"...I...She..." He scowled and a hand lifted from where it was wrapped around her to rub at his eyes. A soft whine emitted from his throat. "Fuck. It's just so fucked–"

"Take your time, Babe." She took another deep whiff of his scent and her eyes closed. "I'm not going anywhere."

He grumbled and growled to himself for another minute before he wrapped his arm back around her. The rumble in his chest was going to lull her to sleep. Mm, cuddle time with Doof? Nearly the second best thing to a Boop, only beat out by the mandatory cuddles his knot forced on them. His body was warm, he smelled great and he was hers. Very rarely was this sort of tranquility for them disrupted.

Which, naturally, meant it had to be now.

"Bee told me she wants to have a threesome with us."

Loona choked on air and her eyes snapped open.

"Wh-the fuck?!"

A Sin wanted to have a threesome with her. A hot Sin wanted to have a threesome with her and her boyfriend. It, just...Didn't she have a boyfriend? Like, a stupidly hot boyfriend? A type of boyfriend that Loona thought she wanted until she and Naruto became official?

"Doesn't she have a boyfriend, though?"

"I fucking know, right?!" His arm flew up before he clapped his hand over her eyes. "Like...Shit, we've had a fight over the last fucking cookie before, I don't want to know how a fucking threesome would end!"

"That...wasn't my point, babe." She sat up. "Was— Did she and her boyfriend break up?"

"...Shit, I fucking hope not." Naruto groaned. He whined, a genuine one this time. "Fuck, I'm such an ass. I told her to go fuck him before I came back in here—"

"I need the play-by-play, word for word."

So, she got it. As he recalled the exchange — which was super fucking bizarre, albeit really flattering — Loona absorbed all the details and wrote out highlights on her phone to keep her thoughts organized. By the end of it, they were both sitting up against the headboard of his bed and looking at the notes on her phone.

And, yeah, honestly? Maybe Naruto was a bit of an ass in how he rejected Bee. Not that Loona was totally sure about going for it — there was a high possibility she'd have two hotties that could be all over each other and forget about her, or one hottie all over her and forget about the other hottie, as unlikely as that second scenario was. Neither seemed like great outcomes for a threesome, and the thought of seeing the hot Sin of Gluttony take her knot stirred up some mixed feelings: on one hand, live view of super hot, bro-sis action between her sexy boyfriend and his hot sister, but on the other hand? Her instincts might have a small issue: That was her knot that belonged in her pussy and no one else's — but she wasn't entirely sure that he needed to shoot down the possibility of it happening.

At the same time, however, she (admittedly with a smidge of bias) felt that he had a very good fucking point. They had only been together for two months before he had to fuck off and spend a month as Lucifer's pit dog. Their "week off" before the semi-finals was nearly fucking ruined by the arrival of that psycho hunter royal fuckface and the celebration of the finals being over was ended prematurely by their exhaustion (emotional and physical) getting the best of them.

This Stay-Cation was just as much for Loona as it was for him. For him, it's a way to wind down and relax since he just spent the past month in a life or death fight for his life. To her, it was definitely supposed to be a calm period for them so that they could fucking finish feeling each other out without any fucking interference from the Seven Sins or Blitzø or whatever work Naruto had that week. A nice trial period where they can maybe do more than just fuck to relieve stress and show how much they care about each other.

Now they had to navigate a fucking minefield because the Sin of Gluttony was lusting for at least one of them.

"How does that even work?" Loona asked. "Isn't Asmodeus the Sin of Lust?"

"A Sin is more than their sin, Loon." Naruto huffed. "Bee's...Well, Bee, but she feels more things than just hungry or party crazy or horny. She has control over the Sin and I know each is called 'the embodiment' of it, but I never bought into that. If that were true, she wouldn't have jumped off of food snacking twenty-four-seven to throw parties and watch others snack or dance. Nor would she care if people got raped or overindulged to death on the dance floor."

"...Has that happened?"

"Not in my lifetime."

"Okay, so she can feel lust." Loona leaned against him and he put his arm around her shoulder. "She does feel lust. For one of us, at least. And if they haven't broken up, why not just invite her boyfriend and we just do a switch?"

"You want to switch?" He gave her a look. She unashamedly stared back.

"It'd be for what, one fuck?" He growled and she scratched his neck. "C'mon, Doof, don't be like that. I'm not about to leave you for him, it's just...Vortex is hot, Babe."

"I know he's hot. I'm not fucking blind." Naruto huffed and leaned into her touch. He nosed at her neck and then tilted his head to give her better access to the underside of his jaw. "It's a stupid instinct thing. Having some other guy all over my Loon, regardless of how we interact. Shit, even when my clones flirt with you, I want to sock them in the face."

"So, I'm not alone in that feeling?" She smirked as he scrunched his brow. She scratched his Spot and he went dopey faced. So cute, he got a kiss on the cheek. "Their flirts are awful."

"And mine are better, right?"

"Sometimes worse."

"Tch." He pulled his head back and shook off the Spot scratched face. Aw, she liked—ooh, yes, ear tease time. Fuck, Loona loved it when he played with her notch. "But yeah, if we were like, at an orgy or something...No, that makes my stomach feel weird. Is that, fuck, does that make me controlling?"

"I think it makes you a guy." Loona huffed around a smirk. Yeah, threesomes or couple swaps were one thing, but orgies or swinger set ups like them? Not her cup of tea. Hot for porn, though. "Okay, so, guess Tex isn't allowed to be my on my pass list?"

"Why in all that is evil would you waste a slot on your pass list for Vore-Tex? Hotness aside." Naruto rolled his eyes. "Dude has that going for him and nothing else."

Well, shit she didn't have an argument for that. Deflect time.

"...Why do you call him that?"

"Legit walked in on him half-way inside of Bee."

"...Uh-?"

"Headfirst, into her mouth."

"Ugh, thanks for that image, Doof."

"You were thinking about him fucking her~!" Naruto teased with a poke to her cheek.

"You're a fucking child!" She growled and shoved him while he laughed. Yeah, if that was a kink the hot Hound was into, no wonder he had eyes for Bee-Lzebub. Typical, the hot ones were all either taken, weird or gay. Well, except her Doof — no wait, he was two out of three.

"But in all seriousness, already thinking about a pass list?" Naruto looked at her with as small a smile as he could manage. "Top three: go."

"Dawn Howlitzer, Cerberus, and Princess Morningstar."

"That was...faster than I thought...Shit, yeah, Charlie's on mine, too." He shrugged at her sudden wide eyed stare. She just remembered a certain fantasy of hers she had during their second stay at the Princess' hotel. ...If she could get the other girlfriend to agree... Don't wag, tail! You'll spoil it! Thankfully, her tail decided to listen for once and she could let her Doof break the silence. "What? She wouldn't go for it, but I managed to catch her and her ex once in a closet with a prank gone wrong and...She's hot."

"Nothing about Cerberus?" She'd figured since he knew the original hound, he'd be against it.

"He dated my sister for centuries," Naruto deadpanned. Right. Loona had forgotten that. "And given how Hellhounds treat him, I'm not surprised he's on your list. I almost want to watch, but again, instincts. Dawn Howlitzer, though? Really? I'm more of a Liza Timberbark fan."

"That bitch can't howl to save her life." Loona scoffed. Dawn had a fucking great howl and hearing it always got Loona across her own finish line. Timberbark was a fucking whiner whenever she came.

"Yeah, but she's got a nice ass." A dark gleam flicked in her boyfriend's gaze as his eyes roamed over her. "Reminds me of yours."

Don't blush, don't blush, don't blush Loona chanted and forced her ears to stay upright. What? So what if she had self-confidence issues, she grew up in a fucking orphanage. You fucking try it. Rather than address that, however, she mock-glared at her boyfriend.

"Think about it that often?"

"...If I say no I'm a liar, and if I say yes, I sound like I'm not appreciating you." He leaned forward and planted a kiss on her neck. She glowered at him for the teasing gesture and for ruining her fun at his expense. He shrugged. "I'm a guy, I think about porn sometimes. Mostly about what I'd do to you that I've seen her take before."

Shit, Loona thought with a growl as her ears folded back. Now I want to know what else he's seen in porn that we've done. ..Did he learn cunnilingus from porn? No, wait, better question.

"Who's your third?"

"Huh?"

"Your third pass."

"Do I need one?"

"I gave you three."

"No hesitation either." Naruto leered at her with a smirk. She huffed at him and he held a hand up. "Okay, okay. Yeah, it's only fair. Katie Killjoy."

"...That Sinner bitch on the news?" And he didn't take long to think about it either. What was-?

"Yep." Naruto growled and curled his lip. "That bitch needs to get hatefucked to braindead levels of stupidity in the worst way."

Oh. Ohh, fuck, that should not have been as hot as it sounded. Fuck, she almost wanted to see that happen.

"Shit, Doof, that would be a one-time pass, huh?"

"It's the only one I'd need for that fucked up whore." He nuzzled her and nipped at her ear. "Don't really care about any of 'em. I got you."

Shit, that was sweet in a twisted way. ...Dammit, she really shouldn't say it. She shouldn't say it. Fuck it.

"...And Bee."

"And so we come full circle." Naruto sighed and wrapped his arms around her to pull her onto his lap. He whined and rested his head beside hers. "The fuck do we do about this, Loon?"

"What do we do?" Loona nuzzled his head as he whimpered. Poor guy really was getting worked up about this. "Well, one of two things. Either we fuck her, or we don't."

"You'd be okay watching me fuck my sister?"

Yes? No? Maybe? ...Probably? Probably.

"Depends on if you'd be okay fucking your sister."

"...I just, I don't know. I've never thought of her that way." Naruto admitted with a frown. He sighed. "I mean, she is pretty fucking hot and all, and I guess her butt's nice—"

"Ass acquaintance, I fucking knew it."

"What?"

"Nothin' babe, just thinking out loud." Loona kissed his cheek as her tail wagged. She was glad she got that sorted out. Her tits weren't anything to write home about, but her ass was tight and she knew he liked both, but now she knew which her boyfriend preferred. "You were saying?"

"Uh...I mean, Carmine-Crafted gun to my head? Yeah. I would. And if she really does want me there, then, sure."

"You saying you'd just watch us if she didn't?" That...Kind of turned Loona on. Having him nearby and watching her get eaten out or scissored or fucking strap fucked...then she could go back to him once he was all riled up. Shit, she had to stop thinking about it.

"I'd watch you." He growled in her ear. She bit her lip to swallow the moan. Damnit, he got her again! Sly sexy Doof. He huffed and his head pulled back to rest against the headboard. "But I mean, that's if she's not serious about it. If she is, I'd probably be hard pressed not to focus on you."

Ugh, something was wrong with Loona's heart. It just swelled for some fucking reason. He was talking about focusing on her during a hypothetical threesome with his sister, not baring his fucking soul for the world to see! Not that she wanted him to be prioritizing anyone else, Sin or not, when they were fucking. Or wanted his knot in someone else's pussy. Or ass. Or mouth. Or whatever other orifice that might sprout up.

What? It was Hell, people! Weird shit happened down Here!

"So, what about you?"

"What?" Loona blinked.

"Do you want the threesome?"

Loona felt her ears flatten and her tail wagged once. Shit. She glanced at him from the corner of her eyes and rested her hands over his.

"...If...if I do, does that make me a bad girlfriend?"

"I don't think so." He shrugged. "No more than me wanting one would make me a bad boyfriend, so long as we talked about it. Like now. Not that I want this one! I don't, er, that is, it's not a priority for me. I mean, I wouldn't be against a threesome, but—"

"It's your sister." Not blood, but she got it. She wasn't blood related to Blitzø, but he was her family. Not that she meant she'd ever fuck him, don't get any fucking ideas. Ugh, just no.

"It's my sister." He let his head hang back and whined again. "Fuck, it's just so...it's not weird. I just don't...I don't want things to change."

"Like what? Are you afraid she'll fall in love with your dick?"

"...Kind of, now that you mention it." Naruto admitted with a frown. She almost snorted and then realized how dangerous it could be if that happened. That theory she had a while back, the one that could get her in trouble if not dead at Bee-Lzebub's hands, that was starting to look more and more like a real fucking possibility. "No, but...She's my annoying big sister—"

"Who's also hot." She added just to lighten the mood a bit. He snorted and smirked at her.

"Yeah. Yeah, she's also hot," he chuckled a bit before his smile fell again. "But she was...she raised me, Loon. I don't...I can't see her as anything other than...Bee."

Fuck, Loona was so lucky. This stupid Doof was definitely one of the three percent of decent souls in Hell. Most Hounds would be dropping trow and at full mast or sopping wet the second Bee looked their way the way she was supposedly looking at Naruto (and possibly Loona). Shit, she was halfway there the second he said something about her wanting a threesome. She turned in her boyfriend's lap to rest her head on his shoulder and hooked her claws on his chain collar. A gentle tug brought his head down to her and she pushed her nose against his.

Boop.

"I think...you are too fucking sweet for your own good." She mumbled and stole a peck. "And that you need to talk to her about it."

"Being sweet?"

"The threesome."

"I did." He growled. She nipped his jowls and he went quiet before he rumbled into the Boop. "I don't want another shouting match or a fight."

"Babe, you are tired and stressed. I didn't say go talk to her about it right now." Loona sighed. She slid from his lap and pulled him with her to lie down atop her. Not a hard feat, considering her grip on his collar, but a bit challenging to do all the same. She released his collar and hugged his head into her chest. "C'mon. We'll catch up on some sleep. Maybe we'll sleep through the party."

"Fat chance." He huffed before he wrapped his arms around her sides and nuzzled into her clothed tits. He rumbled and his tail tiredly thwapped into the mattress. As his eyes shut and his breathing slowed — her poor Doof really was tired; Gladiatorial matches followed by being stabbed and consecutive surgery did that to you, House Demon or not — he muttered to her: "You're too good for me, Loon."

"Don't you forget it." She snorted.

"I love you."

"I love you... Sweet dreams, Doof." She smiled and stroked her claws down his mane as his breathing evened out. Once he was conked out, she typed a quick message to Bee, sent it and then closed her eyes to join her boyfriend in a blissful slumber.

"...and then he told me to leave him alone."

"Shit, Bee, you should've told me about this sooner. I'd have helped you get it sorted in a fucking heartbeat." Ozzie huffed and rubbed his prime face. "I mean, yeah, you really fucked up."

"I know!" Bee groaned. She slumped into her chair in her work station. "I know, alright? And now it's going to be super awkward at the party tonight and that's going to throw off all of the Vibes...God fucking dammit, Oz, I hate this sort of shit."

"And you're sure you don't want to cancel your gathering tonight, yeah?"

"I have never canceled a party on my Hounds. I'm not going to do so tonight just because I fucked up." Bee frowned. But, fuck after that sort of fight with Baby Bro...she just didn't feel like partying. Most of their fights were physical, but this one was heated and didn't get that way. His one victory — she couldn't even call it a fluke; that Bad Vibes attack was no fucking joke — made her leery of a physical fight again. The Hellphone screen buzzed and Bee swiped it to see the notification.

(We're NOT coming to the fkn party 2nite. Deal w it)

"Fuck." Bee closed her eyes and covered her face with two hands. "God...fucking dammit."

"Bee, I can't see your messages. What was it?"

"Baby Bro told Pretty Pup. She sounds pissed."

"Well, no shit! You told Naru-Baby to his face you wanted to fuck his girlfriend! Hearing about that second hand? Either she leaves his ass then and there or she sides with him!"

"I know! I know!" Bee groaned and spun herself in her chair. "God, why is this shit so complicated?"

"It's not, Bee. You just suck at interpersonal communication."

"No, I don't!"

"You do, Babe." Vortex's sudden voice made her jump. She sighed in relief at seeing it was just him as he walked in and came around to crouch by her. "Hey Oz— Babe, shit, what happened?"

"...I-I told Baby Bro I wanted a threesome and he got real mad."

"...My level of mad?"

"N-well, close."

"What did he say?"

"Basically told her no, several times, and then she brilliantly suggested using his girlfriend as a cum dump—"

"I just suggested alternating!" Bee protested with a scowl aimed at Ozzie. She looked back at Vortex as he stared at her. Her ears dropped. "I just…It's bad, Babe. I really fucked it up."

"Well, we can't say we didn't see this as a possibility." He hugged her around the shoulders and pushed his cheek to hers. Then kissed the base of her ear. He pulled back and looked her in the eyes. "You still want the threesome?"

"...Yeah." She squeezed her eyes shut. She knew he still wasn't totally on board with the idea of it and felt awful, but this was something that she couldn't ignore anymore if she wanted to. "Sorry."

"Did you tell him what you told me? The second time we talked?"

"Wait, you talked about this twice? Why is this the first I fucking heard of it?!"

"Three times, actually—That explains a whole fucking lot." Vortex sighed while Ozzie let out a startled squawk. "Bee?"

"N-No," she leaned into him to hug him with one set of arms while the other wrung her hands together. "I just...I guess I was giving the Pretty Pup a Matriarch Stare and Baby Bro caught me doing it and asked me what was going on so I just...told him I wanted a threesome."

"Oh, shit." Vortex cupped her face. "Babe, we talked about this."

"I know! I fuckin' know. But he was right there and his Vibes were so good, Tex, and she was all over him and then not—" her wings buzzed and she took a second to breathe. Her boyfriend frowned.

"It's getting that bad, huh?"

"I don't know what to do, Tex." She felt her hands start to jitter and her eyes burned as her wings buzzed again. "I-I really fucked up, I'm pretty sure he's disgusted with me, but there's a party in a few hours, and Baby Bro and Pretty Pup aren't coming to it because of the fuckup, but it's their party—"

"Breathe, Baby." The Hellhound hushed her and led her through a soft breathing exercise. "Hey, uh, Oz? We'll call you back."

"You fucking better! I'm part of this now, and now that I know what's happening you can bet your sweet little ass I'm staying in on it."

"...Gonna ignore that last bit." Tex muttered before he closed the call and went back to cupping Bee's face and rubbing her cheeks with his thumbs. "Baby? Are you gonna be okay for the party?"

"I-I yeah, I can—"

"Bee. Are you going to be okay?" He reiterated.

"..No." Bee slumped. He leaned forward to nuzzl her and she sniffed. "I can't cancel—"

"You aren't canceling." Vortex assured her as he picked her phone up. His thumb started typing and he showed her the message he was going to send en mass. "Their ride got held up. One of them had to get surgery. The party is postponed, not canceled. Sounds good?"

Postponed. Postponed parties she's done before. She could do postponed. It wasn't a cancellation. Her Hounds understood postponed.

"Postponed works." Bee nodded and rubbed at her eye.

"Two days?" He suggested. Bee did a quick overview in her head and nodded. Two days was manageable. Two days could salvage her relationship with her Baby Bro and Pretty Pup. She could tell them it wasn't a big deal...help them understand what she was going through. Glustony fucking sucked, so much, she hated it.

"Thanks, Tex." She sniffed and wiped off her muzzle. Nothing. She looked up at her boyfriend and — Vortex still has her phone.

Oh, no.

Vortex had her phone, and the message from Pretty Pup was basically unread.

"Baby, don't get mad at them, I fucked up."

"No, this isn't okay. This is...Babe, she is dissing you— in your house!"

"I dissed her first!" Well, not really, but if someone had pissed vortex off enough like that…yeah, she'd be a bit salty in the text too. She sighed and held his wrist. "Please, Vortex, don't... She's just a Pup. They're each others' first."

Which was another reason why Bee wanted to be part of their threesome so bad. She wanted to help them enjoy it, she wanted to enjoy them, and their Vibes, so that no one got hurt. The sex and satisfying her Glustony was just gravy.

"...Alright..." he huffed. "I have to give her a warning."

"...Okay." Bee sighed. She knew Tex was loyal, but sometimes his loyalty was frustrating.

"Here, Babe. I'm gonna go talk to your brother and his girl. Sit tight, call Oz back." Vortex leaned forward and kissed her between the ears. "We'll get this sorted, babe. Okay? Then you can go back to doing what you do best."

"Party."

"Well, that, too." He joked before he left. Bee laughed and smiled at her wonderful boyfriend before she called Oz again.

AN: this chapter brought to you by two hours of sleep. Yaaaaay. Thank god for NAP…NSP. I meant NSP! God dammit, Steve, fix that!

Idk, just do…what is…oh sonova—

Sasuke grit his teeth and scowled. He would not cry. He would not. He didn't have the right. He didn't have the right! As he wallowed in his misfortune, he felt a presence emerge from beneath his bed. A power with it he hadn't felt in millennia. A madness he thought was lost to time.

"Ahh, cherry blossoms...such a lovely smell. Very nostalgic, too." A dry, gravelly voice mused as the presence claimed his brother's seat.

"Mephistopheles." Sasuke smiled bitterly. "To what do I owe the visit? Have you come to kill me in my weakened state?"

"Don't flatter yourself. You and I both know your life belongs to another." The cold tone was more nostalgic than the scent of blood that surrounded the God of Magic. The bed creaked as Mephistopheles pushed his hands down upon it. "Did you really face him again? Tell me what it was like. What did you feel?

"...Who are you talking about?" Sasuke asked, scowling.

"I taught Solomon everything he knew, Uchiha Sasuke, don't play coy with me."

"...I faced him. It was ...nostalgic."

"Good." Mephistopheles stood and chuckled. "Good! He hasn't changed–"

"He's angrier. Prone to violence."

"That was reserved for you. Aren't you lucky?" The Demon chortled as he stood. "Ah, I'm so happy that it's settled well to him. Perhaps I'll drop by and visit him."

"You wouldn't dare." Sasuke growled. He did not need the 'God' of Magic to aid the idiot. It would ruin everything.

"Oh, Uchiha Sasuke, I stopped caring about your opinion a long time ago." Mephistopheles chuckled. There was a ruffle of clothes before he heard skin tap on skin. "Besides, we share something in common...we've both had your fist inside of us."

He vanished with a swirl of dust and took the rest of the Cherry Blossom incense with him. Sasuke grit his teeth and took a deep breath before he smirked.

"Fucker had to know what he said..."

AN2: …

STEEEEEEEEVE!