A/N: I am sorry this took so long, but I struggled immensely with this chapter. Thank you ela11, Dragoness31, mattgerrard and Vorcha Girl for your reviews on my last chapter! Your reviews make my day!

A special thank you, as usual, goes out to Vorcha Girl for being my awesome beta.

Bioware owns Mass Effect.

Chapter 17. Binthu

The shore party had just returned when Joker received an incoming transmission.

"Commander, Admiral Kahoku is on the comm for you!" he called to her as they passed the helm on their way from decon. Shepard creased her forehead and slowed to a stop. What could Kahoku want?

Instead of taking the call at the galaxy map as was her wont she turned around and went back to the helm. Kaidan was still sitting in the co-pilot seat and she couldn't help but smile when their eyes met. Her smile widened even more when she saw his eyes light up at seeing her.

"Patch him through, Joker."

The snarky pilot smirked at her and she was almost certain he and Kaidan had been talking about her not long before.

"Shepard," they heard the admiral say. His voice sounded hushed, as if he feared someone else might hear him, making it difficult to understand him due to interference on the comm system. "I have information on who was behind luring the platoon into a trap on Edolus. We are talking about a rogue Alliance black-ops group going by the name Cerberus. I have acquired the positions of three of their bases on Binthu. I am transferring them to you now. Shepard, this is probably the last you will hear of me. Cerberus will be searching for me now. I must go into hiding. Fare well and good hunting, Commander."

"Admiral!" Shepard began, but all she heard was the static of the comm system. "Damn it. Admiral?"

She was flabbergasted. A rogue Black Ops group meant trouble. Joker looked at her and shrugged. Nick cast another glance at Kaidan only to see he looked about as incredulous as she felt. But there was also determination in his gaze as his eyes found hers and she remembered the vow he and Ashley had given her after Edolus.

"Joker, set a course for the Voyager cluster." She pursed her mouth and then turned to Kaidan. "Looks like another detour for us, but I want to check out this information. Think you'll be up to it, Lieutenant?"

Kaidan looked up from his console to see Shepard standing next to him with an expression that could only be called hopeful. "You can bet on it, Commander."

"Very good. Carry on." She flashed him a genuine smile and Kaidan felt his heart flutter. His mind returned to the last talk he had had with Nick and he almost heard Ashley's admonishing voice calling him thick-headed.

He watched her for a moment as she walked through the CIC before turning back to the console in front of him and continued working.

After a short silence Joker spoke up, grinning. "I'll never understand how you can be so unsure of Shepard's feelings. I swear she practically gobbles you up with her eyes."

Kaidan pinched the bridge of his nose. "And I swear you're as bad as Ash."

"Yeah, well, Ash and I agree on this." Kaidan gaped at him with wide eyes. Joker shrugged, "What? Didn't you think we'd talk about you and the Commander? With all that sexual tension between you two?"

"There is no..." Kaidan began but stopped himself from uttering the words sexual tension at the look on Joker's face. And because he knew it was true. He felt this warm rush whenever she flashed him that smile. His mind wandered on to the increasingly distracting dreams he was having and he felt a blush creeping up from his collar. He cast down his eyes and muttered under his breath. "I'd rather you didn't."

"Well, as your friends we think you need a push in the right direction. How do you ever get into any kind of relationship with women?" Joker huffed.

"My last relationship was with a guy." Kaidan reminded him.

"Right. I'd forgotten all about that." Joker fell silent again as they heard footsteps approach. He quickly changed the subject when he saw it was Navigator Pressley. "What do you think the admiral found out? He sounded almost scared."

"If this is really a rogue black-ops group then he probably has a good reason to sound troubled. It's not like they'll want to be found or have people interfering with them. And I have the feeling they won't hesitate to assassinate the admiral. After all, they had no qualms luring a platoon of marines into a thresher nest," Kaidan responded.

"There's that. You didn't answer the actual question though. What do you think the admiral found?"

"What he said. The locations of three Cerberus bases. The real question is what will we find there?"

They fell silent, pondering the question. Whatever they would find Kaidan was determined to be part of the shore party once they got there. That meant he had to get the doc to clear him for something more than just ship-side duty. He was due for a check-up after his shift and he hoped she would finally let him use his biotics again. Kaidan snuck a peek at the time stamp on his console. Two more hours. He made a quick mental calculation to see if he would have the time to practice with his new amp – assuming Dr. Chakwas finally cleared him.

A little more than two hours later he found himself sitting on a bunk in the med bay while the doctor ran what felt like one scan after the other of his implant. Scans without an amp, scans with his old amp, scans with his new amp. He was beginning to think she was coming up with all these scans on purpose.

"Anxious to get out of here, Kaidan?" the doctor asked without looking up from the scan she had just taken.

He shifted slightly. "Uh, I wanted to work with my biotics yet. If I can, that is," he added.

Dr. Chakwas didn't answer directly. She continued to gaze at the datapad in her hand, slowly nodding her head. Then she looked up with a warm smile.

"The readings look excellent, young man. You can start biotic training again. But slowly, Kaidan. Start with small things. After Feros I was rather worried because the scans of your implant were … troubling. Now, everything is as it should be. One thing though, I don't think you should get a more powerful amp than this one." she tapped the Savant lightly with a finger. "You've always spiked high, but with this new amp your readings are off the chart. Get accompanied with it slowly and you should be able to master very high level biotics." There was a pregnant pause before she went on sternly. "I shouldn't have to lecture you about this."

"No, ma'am."

"Good. You can go then, Lieutenant."

Feeling happier than he had the past few days he picked up his amps, got up and made his way toward the mess. Before he had reached the med bay bulkhead the doctor called out to him again.

"And Kaidan, before you start biotic training, go and eat."

"Aye-aye, doc," he answered as he stepped outside. Yes, mom. He didn't bother mentioning that that had been his plan anyway.

As usual, the mess sergeant held out a tray for him as soon as he approached the galley. He accepted the food gratefully and went over to the table to eat. Kaidan was anxious to get his workout started, so he ate quickly. Ashley plopped down into the chair next to him and watched for a short time before commenting on the speed at which he was consuming his food.

"Geez, LT. Are you starving? Or do you think it'll taste better if you eat it faster?"

He swallowed. "I have something to do, chief."

"And what would that be?" Ashley didn't make any effort to hide her curiosity.

"Doc cleared me to start using my biotics again," he shrugged. He scraped together the last bit on his plate. "So I want to start practicing with my new amp. I have to get in tune with it." He chose to ignore the knowing smirk on Ashley's face.

"Oh." Ashley remarked in a slow drawl. "I see."

He shook his head in exasperation and stood up to bring away his tray.

"If I want to be a valuable asset to the team I have to be able to use my abilities to the fullest. And that means working out with a new amp; just like taking a new pistol to the range. Sure, I've worked with the new amp and I know I am much stronger with it, but it also gives me worse migraines. So I have to find the right amount of energy to use in order to reach maximum effect with minimum side effects. And the only way I can do that is under practice conditions. During battle I will always apply maximum force."

His tone was colder than he had intended. He knew Ashley was just teasing him about his feelings for Shepard but getting the proper feel of his amp was important. Funny, he contemplated, how working together with Shepard had changed his fighting style already. A few months ago he would never have applied maximum force with his biotics, not even in combat. No, he would have stuck to his tech attacks and his pistol, only using his biotics as a last resort.

Ashley's expression turned serious. "I wasn't criticizing you, LT. And you are a valuable asset to the team. I thought your biotics were pretty impressive back on Eden Prime already, but Shepard told me that was nothing compared to what you did on Feros. I was just teasing you a little."

"Yeah." He paused, "Listen, Ash. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lecture and I know you were just teasing. Guess it's just a mild form of cabin fever."

Ash waived his apology aside. "It's fine. No need to apologize."

"Thanks."

Kaidan went down to his locker to square away his old amp. He carefully took the Savant out of its case and slid it into the amp jack at the base of his skull. He felt every hair stand on end as the power of the Savant rushed through him, enhancing his biotics. He quickly discharged against his locker and went over to the back corner of the cargo hold where the gym had been set up, grabbing another bag out of his locker on the way.

He pulled the mat onto the floor and put different sets of weights onto it. Kaidan carefully activated his biotics, trying to find the right amount of power to use to stack the weights according to weight. The first weight he biotically grabbed shot into the air.

"Shit!" he grumbled as the weight clattered to the ground as he quickly dropped it. He had used less power than he would have with his old one and it had still been far too much. Taking a deep breath he tried again. A few tries later he had found found the appropriate amount of effort he had to use.

This was something completely different than Throwing a hostile through the room with full force. Unleashing his biotics with full force during combat was easy, the aftermath … not that much. Now, he needed fine control. It reminded him of some of the biotic exercises he had had to do in BAaT. Luckily he didn't have a sadistic turian breathing down his neck anymore. Not that Vyrrnus had ever taught them control, no, they had had to figure that out themselves.

He put the weights back on their place using his biotics. A smile played on his lips as the weights floated through the air and landed with a soft thump. Then he opened the bag he had taken out of his locker earlier.

Most people would have laughed to see an Alliance marine with ten years of service with a set of wooden children's building blocks, but actually building something using only biotics was a real challenge. They were considerably lighter yet than the weights and his biotics had to be used … softly. Like a whisper of air.

He concentrated and slowly Lifted a block in order to set it on another one. It had an almost meditative quality to it as he built the tower higher. The tower wobbled slightly as he added another block and Kaidan narrowed his eyes. It held. The smile on his face turned to a triumphant grin. He felt a pleasant warmth emanating from his amp, not the burning that preceded a migraine and he knew he had reached his equilibrium. This was what he had to practice to find instantly, even in battle, then he would again be able to use his biotics in a controlled yet powerful manner again. He knew it wouldn't save him from getting migraines, but it should happen less often.

Hopefully.

After biotically throwing the blocks back into the bag he decided to do some PT as well. He flared and felt dark energy rippling along his body. He did not notice that he was being watched as he began stretching.

Nick walked out of Engineering only to notice a blueish flash at the back of the cargo hold. She went forward a few steps and stopped. It was the lieutenant. She held her breath as she saw wisps of blue traveling along his shoulders and down his back. Her eyes followed the trail of blue lower and she cursed silently, her eyes glued to his backside.

It didn't help that the Alliance t-shirt he was wearing was just a mite on the tight side. He wasn't bulky, but he was definitely well-toned. And those Alliance issue sweats just seemed to emphasize exactly how well toned other body parts were as well.

He turned slightly to the side and for a split second she was certain he had noticed her, her heart beating fiercely, but he turned his back to her again, bending forward to pick something up. Nick licked her lips. Move, you idiot, she chastised herself, before somebody comes and sees you.

She didn't move. She couldn't move. There was no power in her legs anymore; they were made of jelly. If Kaidan turned around he would see her plain as day and if anybody left engineering or got off the elevator they would see their commanding officer swooning at the sight of their head of marine detail doing exercises. Her luck held. The lieutenant took no notice of her as he stretched and loosened his muscles, nor did anyone come into the cargo hold. Heat pooled in her stomach and she licked her lips again.

When he changed his stance slightly, going into a kamae she finally gathered enough willpower to retreat into the elevator. Nick was sure her libido couldn't handle the sight of him running through a kata with his biotics active. She had never before felt so frustrated and grateful at the same time. Frustrated because her body was aching for something she couldn't have and grateful because nobody saw her.

Nick stepped out of the elevator and walked towards her cabin, only to be hailed by Ashley, Garrus, Wrex and Liara who were sitting around the tale in the mess.

"Skipper!" Ashley waved at her.

Nick sighed. So much for slipping into her cabin unseen and hiding until her hormones were under control again. She turned around and waved back. "Have some paperwork to catch up with and a call to make, sorry!"

With that she passed through the open bulkhead and sighed with relief as it closed behind her. Leaning against the bulkhead she closed her eyes. Paperwork, yeah right. More like a cold shower.

Unfortunately she really did have paperwork to do. It was high time to go through the requisitions order for her procurement officer. She sat down at her her desk and picked up a random datapad. Why was she having so much trouble concentrating? For fuck's sake, he wasn't even shirtless!

She dropped the datapad back onto the desk and dropped her head into her hands with a groan. What in the world was wrong with her?

You're in love with your Staff Lieutenant, dumbass, that's what.

She sat back, realizing she had been avoiding admitting this for weeks. So far she had only admitted that it was different than … art appreciation. Sure, she enjoyed talking to him. And he was handsome. Polite. Sexy. Hell, so damn sexy. Nick reflected on the past weeks, trying to pinpoint when she had fallen for him. The more she thought about it, the more certain she became that it all started back on Arcturus.

She had to talk to someone. Someone who was not part of Normandy's crew. She activated her private terminal and dialed Matt's number. A short pang of guilt surfaced, as she realized it was in the middle of the night there.

She chewed at the cuticle of her index finger as she waited for Matt to answer her call.

"Nick? S'up? Why are you calling at, uh," he turned around to look at something, probably a clock, "two o'clock in the morning?" His voice was thick with sleep and he rubbed his face with both hands.

"I'm in trouble, Matt," she said.

He perked up. "Why? What happened? Where are you, Nick?"

"Matt, I'm in love," Nick stated miserably.

Her best friend blinked at her a few times like an owl. "Nick isn't that something to feel happy about? Unless of course the person you're in love with doesn't love you back, but most people feel happy when they're in love."

Nick just groaned, dropping her head onto the desk.

"No, it's not something to feel happy about! I mean, yes, it usually is, but not if you're the commanding officer and fall in love with your lieutenant."

A sleepy voice called from another room, asking who it was. A moment later Trevor appeared next to Matt, looking equally disheveled. "Nick? S'up?"

Nick shook her head at her friend for using the exact same words his boyfriend had used. "Hey, Trev. I'm in love. That's up."

"And why aren't you doing a happy dance?"

"Because I managed to fall in love with a subordinate!" she ground out.

"Does he feel the same?" Trevor sat done, obviously preparing for a longer interrogation.

"He … told me I'm special," she whispered.

"Alrighty, so he likes you. So, what's the problem?"

Nick refrained from rolling her eyes. That was the problem with talking to civilians. "He is my lieutenant. I am his commander. Ever heard of fraternization? That's what we'd be accused of and probably drummed out of the service. It's against regulations."

"Nick, you're parents are both Alliance officers. And I know you like bending rules."

"Yeah, but they never served on the same ship and it still cost them more than one promotion. We hardly had any family time because either one or both were on a cruise at opposite ends of the galaxy. Why do you think I had to board at school?" she snapped. Nick took a deep breath. "It's not just my career on the line here, but his as well. And I don't want to ruin a promising career." She paused again, "I wanted to talk about it with someone who wasn't Alliance, but I shouldn't have called. Sorry for waking you two." She reached to disconnect the call.

"Nick, wait! Sorry we didn't realize it was that much of an issue. We're here for you," Matt apologized.

"It's okay. I didn't mean to get all bitchy. I just feel so insecure about what to do."

"Sooo," Matt rubbed his hands and looked at her expectantly. "Tell us about him."

She knew she was in for a long talk. "Okay. Um, he's a trained sentinel..."

"Nick! We don't want to what he's trained to be. We want to know about him." Trevor sounded exasperated. "What caught your attention? Looks, manners, what?"

"Everything?" Nick answered with a small shrug, "No, honestly. Everything. His sense of humor. His eyes. This half-smile, half-smirk on his face when we talk. His voice … his voice is just the epitome of sexy. And I swear, I don't think he is aware of any of this."

Nearly a week later they finally reached Binthu. Kaidan had been cleared for ground-side duty several days ago. They hadn't had much opportunity to talk though, as he had pulled the worst duty shift for that week. Joker let her know they were approaching Binthu and would be close enough to drop the Mako soon. Nick walked out and went over to Kaidan's work station.

He noticed her coming and turned to her with his typical half smile. "Commander."

A shiver of delight ran down her back just at the sound of his voice. Gravelly, yet warm. "We're getting close to Binthu. Gear up and tell Ash to get ready as well."

"Aye-aye!", Kaidan's eyes lit up at the prospect of coming along and she knew it was not only because he was itching to be part of the ground team again. She turned to leave, but not without throwing him a coy smile over her shoulder.

Kaidan felt extremely self-conscious as he geared up next to Shepard for the first time in nearly two weeks. The smile she had thrown him over her shoulder had been more flirtatious than usual. Some how he had the feeling something had changed. Just concentrate on the mission, Alenko. Keep your head in the game.

As soon as she was geared up she turned her back to him, waiting expectantly. He ran his hands over the seams of her armor, checking the closures. Everything was fine. He gave her shoulder a double-tap before turning around so she could return the favor.

They mounted the Mako, Shepard climbing into the driver's seat as usual. Ashley had quickly crawled into the elevated seat to take control of the cannon, leaving navigation and radar to Kaidan. He didn't mind. Truthfully it was his favorite spot in the Mako. One reason being that he liked keeping an eye on his surroundings as well as the status of the Mako's shields, armor and life support. The other was he was closer to Shepard.

As soon as Shepard was strapped in she gave Kaidan a questioning look, a silent inquiry if he was ready for the drop. He held up a closed fist, letting her know to wait yet and then, after a nod from Ashley, he gave her a thumbs up. Shepard radioed Joker, ordering him to open the cargo hold.

The Mako shot forward with a lurch.

"Geez, Skipper," Ashley commented as they landed on the surface with a heavy thump, "you are aware this thing doesn't always have to be driven full throttle? And that we have boosters to soften the landing?"

"Are you complaining, Chief? I thought you liked Mako drops." Then she turned to Kaidan, not waiting for Ashley's reply. "Lieutenant?"

"We've landed more or less in the middle of our targets. One is at eleven o'clock, the second at two o'clock and the last one at six o'clock."

"Eleven o'clock it is." She stepped on the gas. Then she returned to Ashley's comment. "I don't hear the Alenko complain about my abilities driving the Mako. Everybody else seems to have misgivings of some sort. Garrus complains I should stick to more roads, or at least go around mountains and not over them, Tali and Liara don't say anything but I know they are holding on for dear life, Wrex curses and," Nick drove the Mako over a ground wave without slowing, "now you start complaining about my landings. The only one never to say a word is Kaidan."

"I've driven with a lot worse drivers." Kaidan shrugged.

Ashley let out an amused snort. "Yeah, LT. I'm sure that is your only reason."

"Commander, there's a mineral deposit not far from here. A notch towards twelve o'clock." Kaidan ignored Ashley's jab. Shepard altered their course slightly.

After marking the deposit they continued to the first Cerberus facility. As they drew near Kaidan warned about two heavy turrets guarding the base's entrance. Soon, the turrets were smoking ruins and they came to a stop nigh the first facility's entrance.

The entrance room was empty.

"Multiple hostiles," Kaidan whispered as he swept the surroundings with his omni-tool. He punched a command in his omni-tool and pulled a grenade from his belt, priming it. Shepard and Ashley pulled their shotguns.

Nick threw a short look at her shore party and activated the doors as soon as they nodded in confirmation. They carefully followed the short passageway leading to the adjacent room. Keeping low Shepard sprinted to a pillar. There was a containment field taking up a large part of the room. There were a number of small … bug-like … animals within. Kaidan had never seen anything like them, but now was not the time to wonder what they were.

The Cerberus forces in the base had become aware of their presence.

Shepard rounded a corner, taking cover behind a diagnostics station. The first Cerberus commando that peaked around the pillar at the far end of the room was Lifted by Kaidan before giving off a shot. They worked their way around the room, two concentrated on what lay ahead, the third watching their back so they couldn't get flanked.

Once all hostiles outside of the containment shield were taken care of Shepard went back to a diagnostics station and deactivated the forcefield. Whatever the … bugs… were, they attacked on sight. Both Nick and Ashley quickly shot one with their shotguns, while Kaidan shot the last one with his pistol.

"What are those?" Ashley asked as they stepped closer to examine the creatures.

"No idea," Nick muttered.

Kaidan scanned one with his omni-tool. He raised an eyebrow in surprise when he saw the readings. "According to the scan they're Rachni."

"Rachni?" Shepard turned to look at him. "Aren't those things extinct?"

"That's what I thought," he responded and scanned another one. He threw a look at the result and wordlessly turned his arm so Shepard could read for herself. Rachni.

"Well, isn't that sweet." Sarcasm dripped from her voice. "Okay, let's see what else we find."

They explored every corner of the facility, but there was nothing more of interest.

The second Cerberus base was almost identical, only that the containment field held a much larger creature. Once it was dead Shepard surrounded it with a look of revulsion on her face.

"Rachni?" she asked as she caught his eye.

"Rachni," he acknowledged.

In the final Cerberus facility they saw Thorian Creepers in the containment field. Shepard signaled Kaidan and Ashley to fall back into the entrance room. Then she sprinted to the nearest diagnostics station and deactivated the force field surrounding the Creepers.

It wasn't a bad plan as the Creepers attacked whatever was closest to them. Once they were engaged with Cerberus forces Shepard sprinted back to the entrance room. It was bad luck that the Cerberus sniper was not engaged in a fight with a Creeper. His first shot hit her square on the shoulder. She cried out with pain and stumbled, drawing the attention of both a Creeper and a Cerberus Commando. The second shot hit her thigh.

"Shepard!" There was an edge in Kaidan's voice. He broke cover when she stumbled from the impact of the first hit, sprinting towards her position. His biotics flared to life and he Threw the hostile forces closing in on her back with the most powerful Throw he could muster. They did not get up again.

He skidded to a halt next to her, dropping onto his knees.

"Chief, take care of that sniper!" He ordered as he opened the med kit he always carried and began examining Shepard's wounds. Instinctively he activated his barrier and expanded it so it engulfed Nick as well.

The shoulder wasn't much of a problem. She would be sore for several days, but the shot hadn't penetrated the armor. The thigh wound on the other hand was bleeding profusely. He frowned as he continued his inspection.

"Commander? The shoulder guard protected your shoulder well enough, but the shot to your thigh is a different story." he tried keeping his voice calm, but it cracked nonetheless.

"He took out my shields with the shoulder shot," she grunted as she tried to change positions.

Kaidan nodded. "Lay still! I'm going to have to remove the thigh guard so I can see how much damage was done."

Nick just nodded. The sniper had hit the seam and her leg felt as if it were on fire.

"I'm surprised I still have a head," she mentioned casually. "I would've gone for a head shot in his stead. Speaking of head – I'm feeling a little queasy, Kaidan."

Kaidan glanced at her and swallowed. "Uh, Commander, I'm going to have to cut away some of your underarmor. Otherwise I can't retrieve the projectile or apply the medigel properly."

Their gazes met and Nick nodded, very aware of the pressure of his hand on her thigh. She bit her lower lip and Kaidan quickly dropped his eyes back to the wound. He drew a deep breath and focused on the wound, letting his paramedic training take over. Or trying to. His heart was beating so hard he was sure she could hear it. But this was important. He had to be professional. He worked quickly and efficiently, refraining from looking at her.

He swallowed hard when he became aware of how close the projectile lay to her femoral artery and swore under his breath.

"Shepard," he said with urgency in his voice, "Don't move now!"

Once he had retrieved the projectile and sealed the wound with medigel he wrapped a bandage around her thigh. Only now did he look up again to meet her eyes.

"Done, Commander."

"Help me up," Nick said and stretched out her hand.

He shook his head. "Let the medigel do its work first, Shepard."

"I can rest on the Normandy, Alenko. Now, help me up!" She glared at him and Kaidan took her outstretched hand, carefully pulling her to her feet and steadying her as she tried putting weight onto her left leg.

Meanwhile Ashley stood a few steps to the side. As soon as Shepard was on her feet the Gunnery Chief drew her attention to the body of a man wearing an Alliance uniform laying in the middle of the room.

They had found Admiral Kahoku.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed it. Please, feel free to review!