A/N: Thank you jediserenity82, Kirabaros, Vorcha Girl, Estringe and Jules Hawk for your wonderful reviews! Special thanks go to Vorcha Girl for being my Beta!
I hope you all enjoy the next chapter!
Chapter 28. Wanting More
Shepard watched in horror as Kaidan's eyes rolled back and he slumped over as he attempted to get up; she barely managed to catch him before he fell face first in the water.
"No! Kaidan! Stay with me, c'mon! You have to stay with me!" Her voice cracked as she tried to support him. "Stay with me, you hear? The Normandy is there, we just have to get aboard." She repositioned him and grimaced when she saw the shrapnel piece sticking in his side, slick with blood. There was no way to move him alone like this and she couldn't remove the scrap of metal, not knowing how deep it was impaled.
But time was running short. She had to make a choice, and quickly.
The sound of feet splashing through the water caught her attention. She nearly sobbed with relief when she saw a number of salarians running towards them, followed by Ashley and her team.
"I need help here!" Shepard called, and they turned in her direction. She radioed her helmsman, trying to keep the panic out of her voice while Ashley came rushing over, waving the others towards the Normandy. "Joker, tell Dr. Chakwas to meet us down in the cargo hold ASAP! We have a medical emergency!"
"My God, what happened?" the gunnery chief exclaimed.
"Kaidan is injured. Bad," Shepard grunted as she wrapped her arms around his chest and lifted him. "Help me with him."
Ashley took his legs and they hurried to the Normandy as fast as they could. They were the last to return.
"Joker, get us the hell out of here!" Shepard called the moment they were up the ramp, and she felt the change of inertia as the Normandy accelerated.
Dr. Chakwas was at their side immediately.
"Get him into the medbay ASAP," the doctor ordered. They hurried to comply, and as soon as they reached the medbay the doctor instructed them to put him down and set straight to work. "Help me get him out of his armor," she asked them.
Shepard fumbled with the first release catch until her fingers obeyed her. She dared a quick glance at Ashley and saw the gunnery chief wasn't faring much better.
Dr. Chakwas scanned the injury and administered another dose of medigel. "He got lucky, though he's lost a lot of blood," she said after a few moments without looking up. "It's a near miracle the shrapnel didn't do even more damage. I've stemmed the bleeding, now I just need to remove the shrapnel and see what further treatment is needed." She looked at Shepard and Ashley. "You can't help with anything now. Go and get cleaned up."
"Shouldn't he have regained consciousness by now?" Shepard asked, not taking her eyes from Kaidan. His usually olive-toned skin was pale and clammy.
"He's lost more blood than he should have. That was the biggest problem, but it's been taken care of, Commander." The doctor smiled at the two younger women. "Don't worry. He'll be fine."
Shepard hesitated, feeling uncertain, then stepped to the sink to wash the blood off of her hands. The doctor returned to her job, ignoring them, and Nick gave herself a shake. With a short nod towards Ashley she confirmed the doctor's order and they left the medbay.
Outside Ashley let out a shaky laugh. "I'm going to kick his ass as soon as he's better for scaring me like that." She looked at her commanding officer. "Or maybe I should say us."
Shepard gave her a quick look and the chief shook her head.
"Don't look at me like that, Skipper. Kaidan is my best friend, the brother I never had. Of course I'm worried about him," the younger woman stated as they headed back down to the cargo hold.
With the remains of the salarian STG unit aboard it was crowded and noisier than usual in the cargo bay. Usually the only sounds to be heard were the clinking of tools Garrus was using on the Mako, the sound of Ashley working at the weapons bench or the sound of quiet conversations.. Now there was a constant murmur of voices in the air.
Shepard nodded at Kirrahe once and continued to the weapons bench to take care of her equipment. She would talk to everyone later. Slowly the adrenaline rushing through her body subsided and all that was left was exhaustion. With slow, controlled movements she unclipped her weapons and laid them in front of her, making sure she left enough room for Ashley to do the same thing next to her.
She stared blankly at the table in front of her, not really see what she was doing, but the routine of weapons maintenance was something she could have done blindfolded.
Garrus came over quietly. "How bad is it?"
"Doc says he'll be fine. Blood loss was an issue, but it's no longer a problem," she answered as she disassembled her shotgun.
"Good to hear," the turian responded.
"Yeah. It is." She fell silent and continued to clean and assemble her shotgun with a practiced hand before moving on to her sniper rifle.
"I'll clean up the bench, Skipper," Ashley offered. "It's my duty station anyway and I'm sure you'll want to talk to people."
"Thanks, Ash. I'll talk to you later." Shepard took her weapons and put them to their assigned places on the weapon's rack. She walked slowly over to bench by the lockers and began unclasping the release catches of her armor. Her skin crawled, as though all eyes were on her as she dressed down to her skivvies, and she quickly pulled on her uniform.
Shepard walked towards the group of salarians standing in the corner between engineering and the lockers, throwing suspicious glances at Wrex. He curled his lips disdainfully as he returned their glares.
"Wrex, knock it off," Shepard said in a tired tone as she passed him.
She didn't need any muscle flexing from the krogan right now. She let her gaze roam over the remaining STG unit. There weren't many of them left and more than one had some kind of injury.
The salarian captain saluted her as she approached. "It was an honor working with you, Commander. With your help we managed to turn the mission into a success, despite the losses. I don't know if we would've made it out of there with so few casualties if we had only had one of your crew as I had intended. Your decision to give us the asari and the krogan made a real difference." He hesitated, his expression curious. "Your … squad mate … will he pull through?"
"Doc says he'll be fine," Shepard replied.
"That is good. He seems like a well-versed soldier." Kirrahe looked around the cargo hold. "We will leave your ship at the next destination, Commander. Perhaps we will have the opportunity to work together again some day."
Shepard took her leave and walked back to Wrex.
"Shepard," the krogan rumbled. "Things got heated back on Virmire, but I understand why you made that decision. I don't like it, but you were right; I don't want my people enslaved. I won't hold any grudges as long as Saren pays for it."
"That's the plan, Wrex. I don't intend to give him a slap on his fingers," Shepard declared as she looked the krogan square in the eye. "I want to shove a grenade launcher up his ass and pull the trigger."
The krogan laughed. "That's why I like you, Shepard. You've got spunk."
She let out an amused snort. "So long, Wrex."
With a shake of her head she turned away and headed to the elevator, determined not to let the others see how worried she was. The doors closed and Nick sagged against the wall, rubbing her face.
She had some time yet before the post-mission debrief was set and knew she should get her reports for the brass and the Council done. With a sigh Nick headed to her cabin, trying to ignore the voice in her head telling her to go to the medbay to check on Kaidan.
Once in her cabin, Nick sat down at her desk and powered up the terminal, running the events of the day through her head. Kirrahe was right, she knew that. The mission had been a success. Chances of actually pulling it off with as little casualties as they had had been low. But they had succeeded.
And Kaidan would pull through. Doc said he would.
He had to.
She began typing, her fingers moving on their own accord as her thoughts revolved around the wounded marine in the med bay. She should've left more Alliance personnel to help guard the bomb, not just rely on the few salarians from STG that had been chosen for the job. Maybe then Kaidan wouldn't have been injured.
Or maybe you would be mourning the loss of a crew member.
She groaned, annoyed at herself, and began pacing the room. Maybe she should grab a bite to eat. She felt queasy and some food would more than likely help against that. Deep down she knew it wasn't the actual issue, though. She had almost lost Kaidan and she could still feel the panic that had risen in her when he had collapsed. The memory alone made her blood run cold.
Nick sat down once more, forcing herself to focus on the mission report, but the words swam before her eyes.
"Fuck. It," she swore and walked out of her cabin to the galley.
The mess sergeant handed her a tray and she sat down facing the med bay. Lost in thought she began eating as she watched the doctor working. Shouldn't she be done by now? Without warning, Dr. Chakwas straightened up and looked right at her, catching her eye. The doctor raised an eyebrow while she wiped off her hands on a cloth. A moment later the bulkhead to the medbay slid open and the Normandy's physician stepped out, walking over to the mess hall table.
"The Lieutenant will be fine, Commander. He's resting now. Luckily we had enough blood plasma stored. I won't give you the details right now, I'll just say he was lucky. A little deeper and he probably would have bled out."
Shepard's eyes flicked to the med bay door and back to the doctor looking stoically at her. "Thank you, doctor," she hesitated. "Can I go in? I'd like to check on him."
Dr. Chakwas smiled knowingly. "He'll sleep several hours yet, but you can go in anytime."
Nick nodded. "Of course. I should get back to my reports anyway. Have you sent me the medical report so I can attach it to - " She stopped short when she saw the doctor's expression. "Sorry. Of course you've sent it."
"You two should talk after he wakes up, Commander," the doctor told her and walked back to the med bay, leaving Shepard alone with her thoughts.
Nick finished her meal, feeling relieved. And she knew the doctor was right. She had to talk to Kaidan. She owed him an apology. A big one.
A short while later her team assembled in the comm room for the mission debrief.
"We got lucky down on Virmire," Garrus was saying to Liara as Shepard entered the room. All eyes shot to her as she crossed the room.
"How is Kaid - , I mean Lieutenant Alenko?" Ashley inquired.
"He'll be all right. Kaidan lost a lot of blood, but he got lucky. Dr. Chakwas told me if the shrapnel had gone a little deeper the chances are high he would've bled out," Shepard swallowed. "As it is, he'll be fine and we should focus on the fact that this mission was at least a partial success. We destroyed one of Saren's major research facilities." She let her gaze wander over her team and saw them nodding in agreement.
"That was a hell of a thing you pulled off, Skipper. I don't think we would've made it back if I'd been with STG alone," Ashley commented "Without Liara and Wrex we would've been overrun. Their biotics were a huge help keeping the geth off their feet so we could take them out. It was impressive."
Nick looked at her. "I agree. It was a gamble either way. And, our little infiltration team found another beacon much like the one on Eden Prime."
Liara scooted around on her seat at the mention of another beacon. "Commander? Excuse me for interrupting, but I have an idea. If the beacon on Virmire was really similar to the one on Eden Prime, then it might have given you the missing fragments of the prothean vision," the young archeologist stated. She sounded excited. "Maybe I can help you put the missing pieces together."
"You want to join our minds again, don't you?"
The asari nodded. "Yes, it's the only way."
Shepard took a deep breath and rose slowly to her feet. "I can't say I'm thrilled about this, but I can't think of any alternative either. Okay," she gave Liara a weak smile. "Go ahead."
The asari rose as well and came to a stop in front of Shepard. "Relax, Commander," she said in a soothing voice. "Embrace eternity!"
Moments later Liara stepped back. "Incredible! These visions are so intense, I need a moment to collect myself!"
Nick closed her eyes briefly, hoping the spinning sensation in her head would stop. These joinings, this mindfuckery, always left her feeling dizzy. She hated it.
"Did you see anything that could help us? Did it make any sense to you?" Shepard asked as she sat back down again. She missed Kaidan's reassuring presence, his inquiries if she was all right.
"It's a distress call," Liara explained. "A warning against the Reapers sent across the prothean empire, but it came too late." She looked thoughtful and continued speaking slowly, piecing together the information as she spoke. "There were other images. Locations, mostly. Places I recognize from my research. I just - " Her voice trailed off and silence filled the room as the asari continued to think. Suddenly she lifted her head. "Ilos! The Conduit is on Ilos! That's why Saren needed the location of the Mu relay!"
"Never heard that name before," Garrus threw in.
"I'm not surprised. Ilos is only accessible through the Mu relay," Liara told him.
"And thanks to Benezia giving us that OCD back on Noveria we even know where the Mu relay is." A hint of triumph snuck into Shepard's voice only to be dampened by her next thought. "But, if no one has ever been to Ilos, how do you know it's where the Conduit is?"
Liara smiled. "I recognized landmarks from photos and vids I've seen during my research. I know of Ilos, but I don't know where it is."
"So, we need to get to Ilos." Ashley remarked.
Tali shook her head. "Forget it. The Mu relay is deep in the Terminus system and Alliance ships aren't exactly welcome there."
Nick pursed her mouth. "The Conduit's on Ilos and it's where Saren is heading. That means we go there as well. No matter what."
Liara looked troubled. "Chances are that he will have his entire fleet orbiting Ilos. You have to warn the Council. We won't be able to do this without backup."
"Commander," Joker's voice interrupted them. "We're close to a comm buoy. Do you want me to link into the comm network so you can report to the Council?"
Shepard huffed. "I guess so. But if they give me the same bullshit as last time you can lose the connection again."
"Aye-aye." Joker confirmed. "I'll set up a connection now."
Shepard turned to the others to dismiss them and watched as they left the room. Then she turned her attention to the communications terminal. She regretted reporting in to the Council almost immediately as they dismissed her information about Sovereign, telling her that Saren was just playing her, feeding her wrong information.
"He probably saw your earlier reports," the turian councilor said. "The ones talking about your vision and the protheans."
The salarian councilor cut in. "It is very likely he is using false information based on your reports to throw you off balance. Our intelligence never turned up any corroborating information."
"Joker, I'm done here," Shepard said coldly. "You can lose the connection." She turned her back to the Council and began walking away, ignoring the indignant protests of the Councilors.
"Aye-aye!" the helmsman sounded enthusiastic.
Nick couldn't believe it. What else did she have to do to get the Council to believe her? Angrily she stepped into her cabin. She still had to finish her reports. Maybe someone would actually read them and step into action.
She sat down and glanced over what she had written so far, checking if she had forgotten any relevant information and began typing again.
Or maybe you could just go and see if Kaidan is awake yet.
With effort she willed down that voice and focused on the report in front of her.
Several hours later Nick had finished her reports and spoken to the different members of her crew. As she stepped off of the elevator onto the crew deck she wondered if Kaidan would be awake now and hesitated briefly before turning left and walking towards the med bay.
Just as she rounded the corner the bulkhead of the medbay slid open and Kaidan stepped out, dressed in Alliance sweats and t-shirt. He still looked pale and she couldn't believe he was up on two feet already.
"Alenko, what the hell are you doing up?" Nick exclaimed sharper than intended.
"Commander," he answered, his voice slurred slightly from the medication the doctor had given him. "I just wanted to grab a bite to eat."
Her expression and her voice softened. "Kaidan. Please, lay down again. I'll get you something to eat and bring it to you." He hesitated, looking skeptical, and Nick raised her eyebrows. "Don't you trust me to at least make you a sandwich?"
"No, I mean yes. I mean, of course you can make a sandwich," he stuttered, but he didn't go back into the medbay. Instead he followed her slowly to the galley and leaned against the counter, watching her as she took out the makings for some sandwiches.
They stood side by side in silence for a short moment until Nick began speaking.
"Kaidan, I owe you an apology," she offered. He didn't reply immediately and she felt her resolve crumbling under his silence.
Finally he spoke. "Why?"
"Why?" she repeated, glancing at him in amazement. "Because I acted like a complete bitch, that's why. I'm not good at apologizing, and I'm not good at admitting I was wrong." She let out a small laugh. "And now I have to do both. You were right. On Xawin I acted rashly and arrogantly. And I treated you badly for saying the truth." She turned to face him fully. "And the past few days I treated you like shit because I couldn't get over my own wounded pride."
"Shepard … ."
"No, Kaidan, let me finish. Please. I'm sorry." She held up a hand and her voice cracked as she continued. "I thought I'd lost you back there on Virmire."
"Nick," Kaidan said softly.
The way he said her name made her knees go soft.
He reached out and ran his fingertips along her jawline. She froze momentarily under the tender touch and her breath hitched as she lifted her eyes to look into his and found them roaming over her face. She unconsciously wet her lips and moved closer to him as his fingers gently gripped her chin, tilting her head upward. Slowly, slowly he lowered his mouth to hers, his warm breath ghosting over her lips as they closed the last distance between them and their lips met.
Finally.
A whimper escaped her and she shivered with delight. Kaidan began to pull away, looking uncertain. Her hands shot up, holding his face and Nick kissed him again, harder this time. She felt his strong arms wrap around her and she parted her lips, inviting him to deepen the kiss. He ran the tip of his tongue over her bottom lip and their tongues met, dancing around each other. Heat pooled low in her stomach and she gripped him harder as he caught her bottom lip gently between his, pressing herself firmly against him.
All of a sudden Kaidan broke off the kiss with a sharp hiss.
"Sorry," he winced, holding his side.
"Nothing to be sorry about," Nick whispered and stood on her tiptoes to give him another kiss, reluctant to let him go. She felt happier than she had for days. "You should probably lie down again." She ran her fingertips gently down his chest to the bandage.
"You might be right." Kaidan gave her his typical lop-sided smile. "Good night, Nick." His voice was huskier than usual as he took the plate with the sandwiches and slowly went back to the medbay.
Nick stood for a moment watching him before she returned to her cabin and leaned against the cool bulkhead, feeling all hot and bothered and craving another kiss, another touch.
Craving much more than that.
"Goddammit," she said quietly into the empty room, willing down the arousal of her body. With a sigh Nick undressed and stepped into the shower, turning on the cold water. She wanted so much more than just a kiss; she wanted all of him.
A/N: Kaidan and Nick finally kissed! I think we've all been waiting for that to happen! And I have left canon behind once and for all with this chapter, no turning back. Hope you liked it and reviews are most welcome!