Watermelon Girl

by Chaos Orchid ← Ron Dow75

NOTICE: I had to change Section 7.1 to become unstuck

6.1 Peculiar Serious-Persons

The plastic-protected, silk bag the omamori amulet was in had a brocade that read in kanji, "Shinken-sha no kawari". The holder looked at it again, reading it aloud again, still processing its implications, "Substitute Guardian, literally, a Peculiar Serious-Person…

"Oh, my!"

For several long seconds the only sounds were those of the train they were in.

At last Akane's guilt compelled her to say, "Don't let the phrase bother you, Kasumi!" She was sitting on the aisle seat. But she muttered, "It should have been tsuginaru , not kawari! What was Sakura thinking! Kasumi is next after us, Meron's real parents." She had her omamori for a father to prove it.

The pragmatist Nabiki was leaning on the backrest behind them, "Oh, just pray to your kami there, Big Sis. I'm sure it can't read. Don't let it pick up on negative thoughts."

A hesitant smile came to Kasumi's face, "You're right(!) I should be positive." And her smile became more genuine, "That is the way I always wish to view things."

"It sounds like Kasumi is returning to her usual self, eh, Tendō(?)" Genma nudged the man sitting next to him by the window.

"First there was Akane and now Kasumi is as good as a parent herself!" Soun wept. "All I have left is Nabiki!"

The two fathers were purposefully between Kasumi and those in the seats in front of theirs. "Sit down, Kunō!" Ranma told him, pulling him back down onto the window seat. "We're not gonna let you buy Kasumi's omamori! Sakura gave it to her , because the kami that goes with it was told by divining spirits it was supposed to be hers!"

"But Pigtailed Girl, who could possibly be a better shinken-sha than I?! I can provide all that our child–"

"Our child!?"

"There can be no denying that without my assistance, the Twin Loves of My Life would not be expecting!"

"THANKS!" the redhead cried and hit him once again. Didn't that idiot ever get the message!? Punting him inside a train was out of the question. And hitting him on the head hadn't jarred any common sense loose, yet if ever. Besides, Sakura as a nurse advised against it; because his amnesia had been caused by his hitting himself on the head, he shouldn't be hit there for at least two weeks.

Instead, the 'Pigtailed Girl' had adopted a tactic that was sure to inflict the maximum damage on Kunō: S/he hit Kendōist in his sword arm! Too much of his identity was tied up in it; without it, what was he? The opposite of what he had been like on Watermelon Island–a dangerous stalker!

"Ow,(!)" The samurai rubbed his sort arm. Then, through gritted teeth, he sincerely smiled at her, "A Love Tap!"

"Oh, yes, Kunō-sweetie! It's a love tap! *Giggle*" And s/he hit his arm again! "Give me an excuse and I'll show you Chestnuts-Roasting!"

"Chestnuts roasting? It sounds romantic."

"Doesn't it(?)" s/he gave him a wicked grin as s/he– " Hey! Keep your hands off my abs!"

And s/he punched him in his gut! "Ow!"

When he had his breath back, he explained, "I but only wished to feel the baby within!"

"Well, you can't! " the redhead yelled in his ear. Pow! Another blow to the arm. "There's nothing to feel!"

"Mayhap, you can inform me when there will be something to feel?"

"How should I know!? If I get my way, I ain't gonna feel nothing; I'm gonna just let it grow and ignore it!"

"Then I must hire an eminent expert in maternity care to see that the baby is not ignored!"

"We got Kasumi for that!" Pow!

"The woman who has claimed my omamori is probably most proficient in the womanly arts, I dare believe. But is she trained in the nursing arts?"

"She has been studyin' to be. And she's been gettin' all the books she needs for it…." Ranma stopped to blink. Two and two weren't adding up.

"Ah, she is but studying. She is not a licensed, experienced practitioner of the healing arts who specializes in maternal care!" And he placed his hand on her 'abs' again.

"Aa! You made me lose my important thought! That's it: Chestnuts-Roasting, Tenshin Amaguriken! "

[] [] []

Kunō left the train at Nerima station with his sword arm hanging limp and useless.

The only one who showed any sympathy was Kasumi, "Oh, my, Kunō-sama. Are you in pain?"

"Nothing a true samurai can not endure, Honored Sister of My First Love, Akane. I am told you are endeavor to be a nurse. I would have you practice on me. I do not have National Health Insurance, so I will have to pay you out of my own treasury. I am sure, though, it will help with your college fund."

Nabiki was the first to speak, "I have your phone number, Kunō. I'll call you when I can talk some sense into big sister." And she looked at the others, "And the others."

"Don't call us!" 'his' pigtailed girl warned.

Akane wanted to send him away with a punt. She couldn't because her own father stepped in her way, "May I remind you, young man, that Priestess Sakura herself has warned you she would place a curse on you if you ever reveal any events that occurred at the Great Watermelon Fest?"

Nabiki said with a smile, "I have her phone number, as well!"

Kunō nodded. "We must protect the reputations of My Beloveds."

"And your reputation as a gentleman, stalker! " the redhead yelled! "Twice! It's your fault we could have a reputation like that!"

Nabiki, "Gee, Ranma, why not yell a little louder. Maybe there are people who haven't heard this tidbit of gossip."

Ranma panicked and looked around. This wasn't the commuter time of the bedroom community; many had already left for their hometown Obon festivals; and it was still school break, vacation time. They had also lucked out because, a couple of train cars away, the station personnel were dealing with a very upset Kuonji Ukyō, "Tell me my urn is all right! You didn't lose my urn!?(!) It didn't get broken!?(!) I don't care if the train is going to be late! The ten-year, secret sauce in it can't be replaced!"

Ukyo? Secret Sauce? Ten-years ago? Ranma had a feeling her luck was the same as it had always been.

6.2 Guilty Sauce

"My urn of ten-year sauce!" Ukyō cried out happily when she turned and saw a train station attendant with it.

"Ukyo!" Ranma called out, hurrying to her; "Let me carry that for you!"

She grabbed it before s/he could, "Thanks, Ranchan, but this is too precious to me! I'm the only one I trust with this!" Then she looked past the redhead and at who was with her, noting Kunō and especially Akane, "You get into violent jams too often."

"Ranma's present jam hopefully gets her out of violent situations," Nabiki smirked.

"Nabiki!" Akane hissed.

Kunō spoke, "Mayhap, kohai schoolmate Ukyō, I can call upon you to lend me the use of your telephone?"

"My phone? Look Kunō-sugar, and everybody, I just got back from a long trip to a place of bad memories. I need to rest and recharge."

"While I may, perhaps, understand, I have concerns of my own, and a telephone is a matter of utmost urgency at the moment," Kunō pressed. "What say you to I calling upon you to catering a celebratory party for the two conjoined Loves of My Life!"

"Careful. You are skirting the truth to closely," Soun warned under his breath, ready to take the form of his Demon Head.

Ukyō only heard, "A catering job?! I'm never to tired for that! Okay: Everybody to my place!"

[] [] []

"Ucchan's Restaurant " was just up the street. Ranma stayed close to her, eyeing the urn Ucchan carried. The redhead noted that her friend had traveled in her okonomiyaki uniform. Was that because she wanted to be reminded how important the sauce was to her?

As soon as Ukyō opened her door, she hurried to behind the griddle-counter that were two-sides of her kitchen area; the customers' stools were on the counter side. "Everything's on Kunō's tab! Isn't that right, Kunō-sugar?" Until he answered, she held the phone she received orders from.

It was only then that she noticed his limp, injured arm. "What happened to you Kunō?" Ranchan, she guessed, but she wasn't going to risk the customer getting defensive about losing face and leaving without paying the bill.

"Be not overly concerned, well-wishing Ukyō. I will be calling on a nurse who soon will be most capable with but enough practice." And he bowed to Kasumi. ("Oh, my.")

"He's up to something," the pigtailed girl frowned.

"Gee, do you think(?)" Akane agreed.

"Here, give me the phone," Nabiki said, reaching for it. "You want Sasuke, right, Kunō-baby(?)"

While Nabiki talked on the phone, Ukyō gave into an impulse, "It's one week, three days before it'll be ten-years since I made this sauce, but I think it's probably just as good now as it's ever going to be. And I can't wait to hear how everybody loves it!"

She threw her best ingredients on the griddle, stirred them about with smaller spatulas from her bandoleer, gathered them up in a piles and poured the batter over them. She then had just enough time to untie the string that held the canvas covering over the earthenware urn, and dipper out the dark brown sauce and pour it over her seven, masterpiece creations.

Ranchan was given the first okono, of course. S/he stared down at it, telling herself, "It can't be no worse than Akane's cookin'."

"What did you say?!" Akane had overheard and was glaring at her as she was lifting the savory pancake to her mouth.

–The cinch string of her tiny omamori bag appeared around her wrist and yanked her hand and sudden enough for her to drop the slice back onto plate!

While serving and chatting with her customers, Ukyō had still been keeping her Ranchan in her view as much as she could. But Akane's sudden 'reaction' now drew her attention!

Away from Ranma.

The cinch string of the tiny omamori bag of the pigtailed girl appeared around her ankle . The yank was enough to spin her around on top of the stool s/he was on. Unprepared, s/he fell off and onto the floor! The uneaten slice landed on top of a boob, pointed end in her bosom.

Ukyō cried, "What's going on?!"

Seeing the kanji, "Father Safety" brocaded on the bag, Akane quickly grasped it, hiding them! "Nothing! Nothing at all!"

Ranma grumbled as s/he brought her leg closer to her face to see what had brought her down.

Ukyō pulled herself up on her side of the griddle-counter to look over it and down at her (boy)friend. But–

Cries of disgust broke her attention from Ranma and his obligated girlfriend, Akane. "Gawh! Awful!" Tendō exclaimed, folding his morsel within his slice; "Most wretched, indeed!" Kunō agreed, before depositing the hardly chewed waste in a napkin; Genma just spit his out, "This challenges Akane's cooking in taste!". "Oh, my," Kasumi said, looking down at the omamori firmly pressing into her palm.

"I'm glad I'm on the phone," Nabiki said to herself. "...Yes, Sasuke, Kunō is in no condition to withstand an assault by his sister, Kodachi. Book him in a nice love hotel…"

[] [] []

"Out! Out!" Ukyō was shooing them out of her restaurant as fast as she could get them moving. She resorted to shoving Ranma when s/he was trying to think of something to say. "I'm sorry! I can't cater today!

"Or any day! I'm closing my restaurant. Perhaps for good! Go! Go! Let me wallow in failure!"

"Now, Kuonji-san, you are anything but a failure," Mr. Tendō assured her. "How many youngsters your age have successful business of their own on their own?"

"True," Nabiki said. "I would say you are nearly my equal in that regard."

Genma intoned like a sage, "One failure does not a failure make. We all must learn from our failures."

Akane agreed with a pep talk, "Don't give up, Ukyō! Fight on! A loss today doesn't mean a loss tomorrow!"

Kunō said, "My Goddess of the Hunt, Akane, shares my sentiments. Though others may think I lose today, I fight on tomorrow! I will never admit defeat!"

Ranma was still searching for the right time and words to speak.

Sasuke said, "Master Kunō, I have looked up love hotels in the local directory and found one for us, tonight."

"Oh, my, I think that may be the answer Ukyō's emotional distress," Kasumi said.

Ukyō was as startled as everybody else, "A love hotel? "

"With who?! " Akane glared at Ranma.

"Oh, my, no! I didn't mean it to sound like that!" the eldest sister blushed. "I meant that it would be best if she weren't left alone.

"Ukyō, would you like to stay with us while you recover?"

[] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] []

NOTES to Section 1:

What followed the Watermelon Island arc in the manga was The Sauce of Ten Years arc, Chapters 192-198.

In the anime, S6E10 was "The Date-Monster of Watermelon Island", while "Ukyo's Secret Sauce" was S6E12.

The anime-only, "The Legend of the Lucky Panda" was S6E11.

NOTES to Section 2:

Note that in canon, the smell of the bad sauce took a while before it became strong enough to become a reeking stench.