NOTICE: I had to change Section 7.1 to become unstuck

7.1 Kami Jiu-Jitsu

Ranma went to pick up Ukyō's folded futon,

–Only to be thrown over it! Correcting in mid-air, her shoulders and head landed against a two-drawer chest! S/he growled because s/he hadn't been the one 'correcting'! The redhead's fist came down between her belly button and where s/he had been told was where her uterus was! " What?! You don't care if I get hurt! Stupid kami! Throw my center of gravity off!"

"Kami?" Sasuke asked, returning for something else to move out of the apartment.

The pigtailed girl stopped herself from pulling up her Chinese shirt and trying to rip off the omamori that seemed to have stuck itself to her. "Uh, um, 'kami' can mean hair, right(?)! Stupid hair!" And her hand went back to her latest bump, "I'm thinkin' of changing it!"

"Master Kunō is fond of your hair style. He may not recognize you if you were not his 'pigtailed' girl."

"Now that's a good reason to change it!" s/he said as s/he watched as a guy more than two heads shorter than the cursed body lift the mattress over his head.

Akane came in as soon as the manservant had left. "Ranma, do you really think it's a good idea to have Ukyō as a guest?"

"Yes!" S/he firmly, emphatically told her. "I ain't gonna let Ucchan stay down! She's my friend! And friends help friends!"

"Gee, then I must not be your friend –Hey! Where is it taking me!?(!)" The 'mamori in her clenched fist pulled her arm toward the pigtailed girl. She was stumbling so badly, Ranma felt like s/he had to move out of the way. When Akane came to a stop it was in front of the low chest of drawers.

Ranma squeezed her eyes under her frown and made a fist of her own, "I think it wants you to move the chest 'cuz I'm not supposed to do no heavy lifting!" And s/he went to muttering about her, "...over protective kami!..."

"Me!? Just because I'm supposed to be the so-called dad?!"

"Dad? Tōsan?" Ukyō coming in, now.

"Uh, I, I didn't say tōsan, I said tosan! I'll be sure to keep this chest off the ground when I get outside with it!" Turning to lift, Akane got the satisfaction of thinking of slapping–hard!–the 'mamori against the side of the chest. But it moved inside her blouse sleeve at the last second. "Grr!"

Ukyō thought Akane had grunted (and Brute-Force Girl was straining some), "Want me to get you some hot water, Ranma-honey? You should be able to carry that chest easily with your manly muscles."

"That's okay. I'm, uh, heh, heh. What am I doin' bein' a girl?"

Nabiki stepped in, "Try 'practicing being a girl'."

Ukyō was startled, "You're trying to be a girl!? What happened to "I am a guy!"?"

Still on the floor, the pigtailed girl crossed her arms over her boobs and, frowning, said, "I am a guy. But I have to stay a girl for now." S/he fell into grumbling again, "I'll win this challenge! I will go back to bein' guy me at the end!"

Nabiki leaned closer to Ukyō, "You know how martial artists are and their stupid need to meet any challenge."

"I'm a martial artist, too!" Ukyō told her.

"Would you stay crossdressed as a guy if challenged?"

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Ukyō was in her former school's boys uniform when she, literally, pulled her street vendor cart. But the only things in the cart were the things she was moving from her apartment. And the urn with the horrible sauce.

It was something of a struggle getting the cart up Tendō Hill, but she had her Ranma-honey by her side. Of course, because of the stupid challenge the jackass had taken, her man was for now a woman. And as a show of support, she, too, looked like the opposite sex. Still, "Where'd you get the idea that women can't do hard work like pulling a loaded up cart, Ranma(!)?"

"It's not my idea, Ucchan," the pigtailed girl frowned in frustration. "I got a bad feelin' I'm gonna have to come up with new ways to win my battles. That is if I'm even allowed to have fights."

"Boy, Nabiki is right, you really are a stupid jackass when it comes to accepting challenges. Just give it up, already!"

"I am the one who issued the challenge. So, of course, My Pigtailed Girls accepted it out of her love for me," Kunō was already rewriting in his head what had happened. Genma and Soun had escaped. And though he had the bad sword arm, he had stayed beside the cart as it was being loaded, guarding it (while his servant did the real work); now he said he was the Okonomiyaki Chef's Samurai Honor Guard. Sasuke was being a ninja, scouting the route for trouble.

Since the heavy cart slowed those three down, the three Tendō sisters had gone ahead. They were there at their gate to greet their latest houseguest. Well, Kasumi wanted to greet Ukyō properly; her sisters were there because she asked them 'nicely'...with only a hint of a command. "Welcome, Kuonji Ukyō. May your time with us of the Tendō household be enjoyable enough that you find your joy again." And all three bowed.

Ukyō bowed lower, "Yoroshiku onegaishimasu, take care of me." But she raised herself with, "But you don't have to put yourself out! Really! I've spent my life taking care of myself. It'll seem strange if somebody else does." Then she glanced over at the redhead, "Unless it is my husband."

Kunō now felt it was his turn, "May I come within and consult my nurse?"

"Oh, my. I am sorry, Kunō-sama, but as hostess, I'll be having my attention devoted to helping our new guest settle in."

"When the Mistress Chef is settled, then! I, Lord of Nerima, accept the invitation!" And he turned to leave.

"Why don't you stop by at Dr. Tōfū and have him look at that arm of yours?"

"I shall endure until I can consult with you, Fairest of Nurses."

7.2 The Charmed Couple!

The pigtailed girl's omamori kami did allow her to carry lighter things up to the guestroom. Out of earshot of Ukyō, s/he asked Kasumi, "Do knocked-up women gotta be extra-careful!?(!)"

"Oh, my, no. Not really. Historically, women have worked as hard as they did before, even up to the time of labor. Medically, there are reasons for some women not to be so active. And we have no idea, yet, of your risk of having a miscarriage. They are likely to happen within the first three months. Over 80% of miscarriages occur then, but that is under 20% of all pregnancies. The 12th week is especially critical, according to the books I've read. I'll mark your observation times on the calendar."

Ranma scratched her head, "Okay. But, still, does that means the kami is overreactin'?"

"Perhaps. I would think that a pregnancy blessed by a fertility god would be strong and there would be little chance of a miscarriage."

The pigtailed girl frowned, "And even if it isn't, I was told I'll keep gettin' fertilized until I do have a kid!"

"But let's not overlook just how extraordinarily active you can be, Ranma. Perhaps your kami is reminding you to be more ordinary."

She hurried to add, "But, hopefully, it will let you be a champion martial artist, when you truly need to be."

"It don't make me feel happy. It'll make me rusty! "

"Perhaps do your kata drills at a tai chi speed?"

"Uh, Kasumi, how has your omamori kami been treatin' you?"

Before she could answer, Ukyō came into the kitchen, "So, this is where my garment bag is! Wait until you see it, Ranma-honey! I hope you love it! I was thinking of you when I bought it!"

Nabiki was passing and heard, "I hope you remember your challenge. You have to wear male clothes as long as you're here. Even then, we're going to have a difficult time controlling little sister's jealousy."

"I don't get jealous, Nabiki! Why should I? I have nothing to be jealous of! " Then barely controlled Akane brushed past her and stood in the kitchen doorway, "Your room is set up. Where are you!"

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The first door down the hall from the kitchen was the parlor, now another guestroom. It was occupied by, "Happosai!" Ranma shuddered. "If I can't change back, he's gonna try and force me to model his entire collection of sexy lingerie(!)!"

Kasumi said, "I hear from the neighbors that Grandfather Happosai hasn't been seen since Pantyhose, I mean Awesome-Tarō flew off with him." Kasumi keeping in touch with everybody over the phone even while on vacation seemed right in character.

"Did I actually get a break?" But from bitter experience, Ranma knew when something was taken from one hand, something else was given to the other.

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"It's wonderful!" Ukyō said, seeing the room Ranma and his pop shared now transformed into one to her own liking. "It's just the cozy and cramped place I can be depressed in!"

"Why don't you sound depressed!?" Akane nearly yelled.

"I will. You know moving is one of the top stressors: When everything catches up with me, I'm bound have a relapse." And she skipped over (and practically danced on) the futon nearest the door and went down onto her own mattress. Her hand moved over not her bedding, but those next to hers. "This is your room. You'll be sleeping with me, won't you, Ranma-honey?"

"No, Ranma won't !" Akane told her.

"You don't trust him to win his challenge and stay a girl?" she hit her with the confident smile of a challenge.

"I know Ranma will stay girl!"

"Then you have no problem with 'her' sleeping with me." Her fixed smile and gaze remained on her rival.

"Ranma can't, because, because…." Akane couldn't bring herself to say it.

Nabiki could say it for her, "Because Ranma and Akane are having a trial marriage!" And she announced it into a wireless microphone.

There was the sudden sounds of men's bare feet against the floorboards. First Soun, then Genma appeared at the door. "What a wonderful idea!" , "We approve!" , "You have your fathers' blessings!" , "Aren't you lucky to have permissive parents!"

("And where have you two been hiding?" Nabik asked.)

"Oh, that's why Ranchan has to stay girl(?)" Ukyō asked, but was not convinced. "It will keep your reputation safe, Akane. …Including the one that you're a lesbian."

"I'm not one!"

"You are not one," Nabiki smirked. "You're now two." She put her hand over the mic and whispered to her, "Or should I say three?"

Soun happened to speak over that, when he happily cried, "Ranma will be a boy again and then he can marry my daughter, Akane! Until then, they will get to know each other as husband and wife!"

"Dad!" Akane tried to protest.

Genma didn't cry, he cheered, "Make this trial marriage training for that time! Prove you're the man in your relationship! Show that even while a girl, you're a man among men!"

"Pop!" Ranma tried to protest.

"Husband and wife?" Ukyō narrowed her eyes onto the trial couple. "A little hot water and Ranma-honey can become a 'husband'. I'll be keeping my eye on you. I'm interested in just how long it'll be just a 'trial'."

Their omamori kami forced Akane and Ranma closer together. The one hidden under her blouse sleeve raised Akane arm until it seemed like she was hugging the pigtailed girl.

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Rather than staying depressed in the guestroom, Ukyō took to following the pigtailed girl and Akane. And she didn't have to divide her attention as the kami continued to keep them together. ...And one hand constantly found chances to give 'supporting' touches and hugs. Which Ranma found be, "Too touchy-feely! Can't you try to control it! Why would I want an uncute–"

The 'mamori on her lower abdomen shifted her mass and the redhead was falling before s/he could finish the insult. Akane's kami had her arm catch her. To anybody not in the know could have thought of it as a romantic scene.

And even to those in the know. Nabiki took a photo of the touching scene.

"Ranma!" his* pop raised his voice, "Do it over again! This time you hold Akane!"