Chapter Two:

I was a little sore after last night with Paul, but I really didn't mind, every step I took reminded me of him. I wondered when I'd hear from him after leaving without his number, and with him being too sick to come and find me. I figured I'd need to get his number off of someone so I could check up on him later, I felt awful having to leave him without saying goodbye.
I got into my shower and took a breath; my mind was reeling with everything Paul, the possibilities, the happenings, the way everything had changed overnight. I washed Edward out of my hair once and for all, and I felt light as a feather without the weight of him dragging me down. I took my time, shaving, exfoliating, using a hair mask, I hadn't looked after myself like this in a long time. Stepping out I skipped no steps, tweezing my eyebrows, massaging in a Vanilla and shea butter scented lotion, braiding my hair, brushing my teeth. I felt like a new person. I slipped into a cute and comfy lounge wear set and went down stairs to make a start on dishes and lunch.

"You seem, chipper." Charlie announced gruffly looking up from his newspaper as I started on the dishes.

"Yeah, I feel good. I guess you were right dad, I just needed to get past it." I shot him an affectionate smile over my shoulder, which nearly made him fall off of his chair.

"Bella? It is you right? You've not been replaced by aliens?" He amused himself and chuckled a little at his stale dad sense of humour.

"Dad," I huffed, trying not to lose the immense calm that had come over me.

"I'm sorry kid, I was just, well I was scared for a long while there that you were slipping through my fingers, going down a bad path. I haven't seen you this...whole, in a long time. I've been scared you were gonna end up in rehab, a psych ward, or me having to send you to military school, I mean that's what you do with troubled kids, right?" He asked me for parenting advice for myself.

"Um, no? You don't send your child to strangers when they need you most." I panicked a little wondering if getting shipped off was still on the table in his mind, I didn't realize how serious he was about me getting it together.

"Well, I'm just glad you seem to be turning it around Bells, just keep it up. You used to be a top student, maybe you can be again. Didn't you always want to study English Literature at Harvard?"

"...I did. Maybe now I want to stay closer to home." I shrugged. Pfft. Harvard? The way I'd neglected my studies since Edward had been around meant community college was my only hope at this point.

"Is there a new boy or something? Is that what this is?"

"No!" I exclaimed, indignant, though he was 100% correct.

"Just... Promise me that your life doesn't revolve around which boy likes you today, you're better than that." He opened his arms to me uncharacteristically, and I took the offer, pissed as I was at him, I needed my dad.

"I promise, I'm turning it around. I'll try harder with school." I agreed, as he awkwardly patted my back in what was meant to be a comforting gesture.

"Alright. I've got to run down to the station to sort out some paperwork, it'll take a few hours, after that I'm going to watch the game over at Billy's, you could tag along?"

"Sure, I'll meet you there." I set to work making a quick batch of BLTs for lunch, which Charlie taxed two of on his way out the door. As I ate, the thought about getting in touch with Paul was rattling around inside my brain, I had some insatiable need to make sure nothing had changed between last night and now, my foot was tapping out a tense fast paced beat I hadn't even noticed until my knee hit the table.

I got up and found my textbooks and started studying, though I'm not sure I took in a single word with how occupied my mind was, I was going through the motions of turning pages but in my mind, I was replaying the highlights of last night, and a burning need was growing every second I indulged the reminiscence, making my thighs rub together of their own accord. I wondered if Paul was feeling the same way? Was he thinking about it? Was he desperate like me? What would he do when he saw me next? I found my hand wandering the unfamiliar terrain of my body, searching for some kind of release, as my mind and body remembered the feeling of his touch, his kiss, the feel of him inside of me. I was so wet and full of need, I needed him here now, I wanted him to stretch me out, I wanted him to make me his, I wanted him to cum in me again. And just like that, I fell over the edge, riding out my climax as Paul's name hung on my lips.
I laid there for a long while just panting, my heart racing, and my mind made up that I needed to talk to Paul today one way or another.

But then the thought hit me.

Cum in me again.

He came in me... We didn't use anything.

No, there's no way. When was my last period? Two weeks ago? Maybe he pulled out? No, he absolutely did not, he was still inside me while we were cuddling afterwards... Could he have put a condom on and I didn't notice? He did go to the bathroom after, maybe to dispose of it? I let go of the breath I'd been holding. Paul must've slipped on a rubber when I wasn't paying attention, there's no way he'd forget, he's experienced he'd know better. God, my dad was right about me being out of control, I could have ended up being someone's mother, I am adamant about beating teen pregnancy, I'm not my mother. I made a mental note to get on birth control ASAP.

I started getting ready to go see Jacob, and set off promptly needing a distraction. I wasn't sure how much to tell Jake, he had a judgmental snitching streak sometimes, but also, he might be the best one to get me advice here as I'm pretty sure he knew Paul. Charlie was just getting out of his car when I pulled up, Charlie nodded a greeting to me and headed in with a 6 pack of vitamin R, I went straight round to the garage where Jake had already started uncovering the bikes. I took my usual seat on top of his tool drawers while he expertly examined the parts he was working with.

"Where the hell you been Locca?" He greeted playfully; he knew I hated it when he called me that.

"Up to mischief. Actually, I have some pretty major life updates for you." I grinned like the Cheshire cat thinking about Paul.

"Oh?" he cocked an eyebrow looking intrigued as he polished a greasy part with a cloth.

"You have to swear to secrecy on pain of death," I demanded with a meaningful look.

"You have my word, I won't say anything." He nodded.

"I popped my cherry," I announced as I cracked open a soda out the box we stashed then in out here.

"...What? Wait, who? When? How? Why?" He stumbled over his words looking more bewildered than hyped which alarmed me.

"Calm down," I reprimanded him. "I'm grown enough to know my mind don't treat me like I'm a child."

"Whoa, maybe you should calm down, I'm just surprised alright?" He snapped back.

"Well since you asked it was last night, and it was Paul, me and Embry ran into him and hung out, and I did it because I wanted to." I rattled off, annoyed that he'd taken all the excitement out of it. He dropped the part he'd been polishing, swore, and kicked it across the garage.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing getting involved with Paul." He whisper shouted at me, at least being mindful to not alert Charlie.

"What the fuck is your problem? He's gorgeous, he treated me so well, I really think we have something special." I seethed, jumping up from my perch and pacing, making too many hand gestures, throwing soda about as I talked.

"You don't. If you'd thought it through and talked to me, I would have told you free of charge that Paul has a reputation and a body count to rival Vlad the Impaler. He's broken a lot of local hearts, fuck, I just hope you had the sense to wrap it up, God knows what he's got." He spat out vitriolically. I stood frozen for a moment in shock, before I threw my soda at him, he just flipped me off and walked inside, leaving me to hyperventilate.

How much would he say to Charlie? Was he even my friend anymore? What the fuck had just happened? We'd argued before sure, but never like that. I kicked a rusty paint can out of the way and stormed out. I called Charlie as I drove off letting him know I was call it an early night trying to sound tired and not hysterical.

I set off for Leah's house, I figured I could just ask her for Paul's number and leave him to rest. I parked up out front and knocked on, waiting for someone to answer. Eventually Sue came to the door and looked very confused to see me.

"Bella? What can I do for you?" She asked with a glint of concern in her eye.

"Oh, I'm just here to see Leah quickly, I won't stay long." I pleaded, fearing she'd turn me away. She nodded and let me inside, she directed me upstairs and to the left to Leahs room and told me to wait there for Leah to get back. I ran up to her room, anxiously waiting. I needed confirmation that Jake was wrong, that Paul cared about me, and I hadn't just made the biggest mistake of my life. As I waited my eyes panned around her bedroom, looking at the collections of photos on the wall, a younger Paul featured in a few of them. God he's perfect, his smile is full of mischief and charisma, I couldn't wait to see him again. As I examined the photos a little more closely, I noticed it, there was a photo of... Leah and Paul kissing.

The world started turning upside down on itself, as Paul's words echoed through my head.

She's like family.

The way she was the first person he called when he needed help, she was the most called number in his phone when I called her from it, he told her to come by in the morning for a joint, was that a regular thing? How many late nights and early mornings did they share together in that empty house? In that bed I'd been laid in just last night. I felt sick to my stomach, and I hated Jake for being right.

"Bella?" Leah greeted with a confused look.

"I just came by to ask for Paul's number." I mumbled in a lifeless flat drone.

"I don't have it." She sat down on her bed.

"You don't... have it?" I blinked at her.

"No. I don't. So, if that's all there is..." She nodded her head between me and the door.

"I called you from his phone this morning, and you're gonna tell me you 'don't have it'? How stupid do the two of you think I am?"

"Bella, look, he's not going to call, he's not going to see you again, he's not going to explain. It's better this way, you need to leave."

"I need to leave? How long have you two been fucking then? Does it just eat you up that he'd go for me when you're on offer."

"Does it 'eat me up' Bitch, you had my sloppy seconds, now grow up and go home." She pulled open her door and got in my face.

"Is there a problem girls?" Sue asked suspiciously walking past and seeing the tense standoff.

"No, I'm going now anyway." I answered, running out to my car. My eyes were filling up with tears as I pulled out and drive the short distance to Paul's house, I needed answers now, sickness be damned. I ran up to the door and knocked like I was the cops.

"Paul? Paul! I need to talk to you, let me in." I pleaded, unable to hold back my tears anymore. "Paul you fucking promised, you said you would never leave me like this." I screamed.

"Can I help you Bella?" Harry came out onto the porch from inside.

"I'm so sorry I know you said to leave him to rest I just really need to talk to him, just the once it's important I swear." I hyperventilated, feeling the world start to spin.

"Go home Bella. He doesn't want to see you, if you don't leave, I'll have to call your dad darling."

It all went blank after that. I remember hearing car doors slam, footsteps towards me, Then I woke up in my dark bedroom, with Charlie asleep in the arm chair I sit and read in. The lines on his face looked deeper, I'd promised him I'm okay, only to put him through the same heart break again. This felt a million times worse than when Edward left, I felt like I was suffocating no matter how many breaths I took, I didn't even try to stop the sobs the gently rocked me off to sleep.

A couple of weeks flew by, I'd slept through them, confined to my bed. Charlie was threatening a stay in a psychiatric hospital if I didn't get out of bed today, so I forced myself to get up. I was exhausted, I couldn't eat, I couldn't do anything. I grabbed my keys and told Charlie I was going to Port Angeles for a little retail therapy, which he tried to object to but then caved. Did I care about buying new clothes? No. But when you go into a pharmacy in Forks, the whole town knows your business before you even leave the store. The internal debate of did he or didn't he wear a condom had been going on for long enough, my period was due today and it was time for a pregnancy test. I pulled up outside a small pharmacy on the outskirts of the city, parked up and went inside.

"Good afternoon, may I help you?" This kindly old woman in a clinical coat asked me from behind the desk.

"Yes, uh, where are the pregnancy tests?" I thanked my lucky stars the store was empty because this was mortifying.

"I've got them back here, are you looking for a standard, digital, early, or rapid test?"

"Whichever one is gonna tell me for sure and cost $5." I pulled out the cash. She fumbled around some boxes and then put one down in front of me.

"I'm not judging darling but, do you have anyone to talk to about this?" I could tell she'd noticed my puffy tear-stained eyes.

"...No." I sniffled, questioning how I ended up here.

"Hold old are you?" She asked so softly I could tell there was no judgment.

"I'm 17," I tried to offer her the money but she refused it.

"Give me a moment," She went to the front door and turned the open sign to closed and locked the door. "There's a bathroom in the back, you can take your test here in privacy, and I'll be here if you want to talk about the results. My name is Miriam"

"Thank you, Miriam," I couldn't stop sniffling, I felt pathetic but everything made me want to cry. Taking the test was easy, waiting for the results is hard, I went out to wait for the results with Miriam.

"If it helps, I was in a similar position around your age." She murmured in a soothing tone.

"I just don't know what to do, this isn't how I ever imagined any of this going. This guy, I thought we had something so unreal, something out of a novel, and then the next morning, nothing. Won't talk to me, won't see me, turned out his 'she's like family to me, girl best friend' has a picture of them kissing on her bedroom wall, and what am I meant to do? Even if it's positive, I can't even call him." I rambled incoherently.

"Oh sweetheart, it's not your fault. Sometimes we go in with such good intentions that we assume everyone else is doing the same thing. You can't control what he, or she does, but you can control what you do. You have absolute control over what happens now." She put her hand on mine, and I flopped forwards into a hug and sobbed all down her coat, when my phone alarm went off, telling us the results were ready, I took a deep breath and looked down on the counter.

Positive.

AN: Ask and ye shall receive ;) a quick second chapter, hang in there things are just getting interesting.