What We Do In the Shadows: "The Fiendish Plot of (human) Laszlo and Nadja Cravensworth"...

Summary: Back in the regular but sort of AU universe of WWDITS, you thought the season was about Guillermo. It wasn't. (Well, in this AU anyhow.)

Part XII...

The "fancy room" of the Residence…

"Well, here we are…Or, I am…" Nandor, on sofa, shrugs to camera. "Soul and essence in the one. Very…Curious…"

"You are all right, husband?" Marwa's hovering ghost.

Was a bit…What is the word, eerie?...To see his soul entering from my dimension. He says it wasn't painful but…Slight shudder. I may ask for drugs when my turn comes.

"A bit light-headed but all right, my wife." nod. "Though I thought it would be a little different. Two in one, you know. But I still seem to be one person unless I'm like those multiple personality peoples I used to watch in the movies of the weeks on the television who don't know the other guys sharing the brain pan. Or that doctor fellow who took the drugs too much…Jerkyl?"

"Right…" nodding to crewmember. "Jekyll. Only I suspect it's the human side that goes all…Bonkers, in my case." Wags fingers. "My essence has actually been a rather peaceful fellow minus the necessary killings."

"I don't think so, husband. Dracula reunited soul and essence and remained one person. And no signs of the bonkers." Marwa notes.

"Well, just keep an eye out…I don't want to find that savage human soul of mine doing savage things in daylight." Nandor, just a bit smugly.

"You are that human soul, husband…Once again. Though your whole is reunited." Marwa, a bit concerned. "That's ok, isn't it?" anxious look.

I wasn't trying to press…I know he wants to please me and all…

"I suppose. He just seemed a bit of a prick, that's all." Nandor sighs. "What do you guys….? Hey…" he, noticing, looks fully in mirror. "I see myself! Wow!" Looking at different angles.

Nandor, you be one good-looking near 800 year old…Posing a bit.

Should go get my cape…

"Fringe benefit of Redemption." The djinn had reappeared, nodding. "Congrats. You made the cut I see." Nodding.

"Really, just curious…" he notes to the crew. "This Redemption thing isn't something you see every day even if you're a thousand plus and nearly omnipotent."

"My, my. Of course, Laszlo always said it was just superstition that kept us from seeing ourselves and he could even just barely do so in mirrors when he really concentrated but…Nice. I thought I'd kept my manly physique but you never really know if people are just being nice." Nandor regards himself. "Wait, so this means…I'm sort of…Human?"

"Heading that way, dearest." Marwa nods, smiling.

"So…I can chow down on the Big Macs with Everything? I always wanted to chow down on the Big Macs with Everything. I tried once, about forty years ago, but…Oooh. Sick as dog at one small bite." He shakes head.

"I'd recommend going slow. You aren't quite human yet." The djinn counsels.

Uh-huh…Nandor eyes him.

Guy sure hangs about, don't he? Glance to the floating Marwa…

Course not exactly what I would call the "warrior" type…But there are some women this sort appeals to. Guillermo was reading me the biography of Napoleon and seems his wife passed on all those manly French marshalls and generals to latch onto to some lieutenant clown with curls and that harem room manner. How many guys like that I'd see when we'd leave on campaign, lounging round the place, on "special staff duty" and such crapola. Then we come back and half the guys' wives are pregnant and hello, a fourteen-twenty month pregnancy? I don't think so.

Not that that was ever my Marwa…Though, I must admit this "Freddie" business worries me a bit. But it really wasn't exactly her per se. And I'd screwed up her soulless re-aminated body quite a bit.

"That would probably be wise, husband." Marwa agrees. "And you are soul and essence in one, that slows things a bit."

"But I will…Big Macs and all?" Nandor, anxiously.

"Oh, yes." Marwa nods. "Just give it time."

"Well, it will be more fun to chow down with you, my wife." Smile.

She beaming shyly…Husband. "I will love chowing down with you when corporeal again."

Hmmn…Yeah…Slight frowning, glance to her. Hmmn? She eyes him.

We need some alone time…His expression, enhanced by his remaining occult power, said.

Good by me…Her look returned.

"Excuse us, fellows, please…" he notes to camera, leading the floating Marwa down hall.

"Is that djinn guy gonna be hangin' round all the time?" he grouses to her, quietly, camera making long range focus on them. "I know we owe him helping us find each other again, but…"

"I don't know. I didn't summon him. Wait…Are you jealous?" she beams. "That is very like you, human."

"I was rather the jealous type, wasn't I." he ponders. "Oh…I hope this doesn't mean I'll get all bloodlusty and mean. Now that would be odd if I was more bloodlusty turning back human than as a nice-guy, kill to live, vampire."

"I'm sure not." Marwa, consolingly. "Though there may be a little adjustment period for your soul. Besides off the battlefield you were a lamb." Smile.

"Bit awful to think my soul might be worse than my demon…" he sighs. "But I will do my best to follow the Redemption path for you, my dearest one."

"Nandor." Coy smile. "Nothing wrong with a leeetle jealousy though." The ghost grins as she hovers. "I rather like it. And he left when we headed off. But don't piss the fellow off. You know djinn are fairly omnipotent, if this one's a nice guy."

"I suppose that would be wise. Well, I see the fellas aiming at us." He looks down at the camera crew. "Could we really have a bit of privacy, guys?! Just this once?!" he calls, annoyed.

Camera cuts out…

Later…Fancy room sofa…

"Sorry about that…" Nandor, apologetically. "A bit of the old temper coming back from the soul I'd say. But I did wish to have a little time alone with the missus even if she's not yet corporeal. We had things to discuss, family matters and all…"

Marwa's ghost hovering, looking away, slightest of smiles…Barest of blushes.

"Ok, I had her do the 'Companion' thing, like on 'Star Trek'…She kind of floats all around me, fills me with her incorporeal presence." Nandor, shrugging.

S-E-X, incorporeally…Marwa mouths, shyly smirking.

"It's a kind of love making…" Nandor continues. "And goddamn…Whoa, listen to me?!…About time. Though we have to get cracking on the physical bod."

H-O-T. Marwa mouths again, shaking hand. Like you don't know.

"Marwa?!" Nandor catching sight.

"Just saying, it was very nice." Marwa notes, coy look. "And I don't want your friends to think I'm some sort of medieval bag of repression and hangups." Firm nod.

"God, no." he notes, rolling eyes. "And it was great…Wasn't it?"

"Absolutely." She beams.

" 'Medieval bag of repression'…?" he eyes her. "Heck, modern world, watch out for the Relentlesses. Colin Robinson made that my official last name for tax purposes a few decades ago."

"I like it." Marwa beams. "Mrs. Marwa Relentless. Nice."

"Well, the ladies say Ms., now I believe. Anyway… Marwa?" he looks about at the empty space.

"Anything wrong old chap?" Laszlo appears at doorway.

"Laszlo? Hello…I was just obviously mourning the loss of my wife to her copy with our camera friends here." Nandor, careful look at camera team.

"So I gathered." Nod. "Pity about that, though big of you, really. Don't know that I could be as big about it if it were Nadja taking the form of a man and going off with the original bloke. I tend to murder my rivals in Romance, you know. Well…" Pulls deerstalker hat down. "I must be about the Hunt for Doll Nadja, Nadja is missing her dreadfully. Haven't seen any sign of her, have you?"

"Afraid not." Nandor, opening hands expansively. "But I will keep both eyes open."

"Thanks. Well, I'll return to the basement, a couple of rooms yet to check. But I'm beginning to think the little bitch might have gone off on her own in the great world. May have to ask for a bit of help tracking her…Through the Ether, that sort of thing. You're good at that." Laszlo notes.

"Yes, I am. And should you fail in your quest below, I shall be very happy to assist." Nod.

"Well, thanks, old chap. Nadja will appreciate it. By the way…" Laszlo pauses. "You didn't order a book on English country estates did you? It just came a short time ago, courtesy the Amazonians. Remarkable women, that lot…And I will say the one who brought it was a lovely creature. I saw her through the door peephole but it being daylight and not wanting to offend Nadja by enthralling the lady I didn't pursue the chance. Pity, perhaps. I'm sure the sex as well as her blood would have been extra spicy." Shrewd nod.

"No as to English country estates books, sorry. And indeed, a shame as to the spicy Amazonian lady."

"Well, perhaps it was for Nadja. She sometimes has an interest in my native land and she was working for the Vampiric Council there for a bit. Not too keen myself on going back to that shithole unless maybe she's thinking an air bnb or vrbo for a quick visit? I suppose that wouldn't be too bad. Toodles…" wave as he heads off…Nandor watching him leave with relieved expression.

Cut to camera with Laszlo as he descends to the basement…

"Something's in the air…Smells actually. And I could swear I saw something glowing, rather like those ghosts of ourselves we encountered earlier, just above Nandor just as I came in. I wonder if he could be consorting with himself…Soul, I mean. Or perhaps with my soul as any sex would surely be better with him. I suppose his wife's soul is in that clone boy in England but could be he's trying to win her back through the Ether? But something is definitely…" Sniffs… "In the air. And I will pursue the matter after I find Nadja her dratted soul doll."

…

"Is it safe, husband?" Marwa's ghost hisses.

"Oh, good." Nandor, relieved. "Though I might have been crazy or you might have had a sort of timer thing for your period of existence on this plane."

"Oh, no…Neither crazy nor timed. I can stay so long as you continue to make such fine efforts at Redemption." Marwa, proud tone at end.

"Good…Well, that was Laszlo."

"Yes, I have seen him before, dear, many times. Nice fellow, for a demon essence."

"He seemed a bit suspicious of me, do you think? I shall have to tread very carefully from now on."

"Yeah, you might want to consider a pair of these…" human souled Nadja notes, waving plastic fangs, as she enters. "Hey, girlfriend." To Marwa.

….

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