The next thing he new, he was is the middle of the Avengers compound surrounded by the team of many names. The A team, Asshats, or the most common, Avengers.
In an instant he jumped up from the rugged floor and got in a fighting stance. He looked around the room at the leveling looks of shock and confusion.
Finally the embodiment of America steps up after a moment of silence. "Who are you?" Says the man in a t-shirt and sweatpants.
With a moment of thought he says "I'm Michel with a B and I've been afraid of insects my whole life"
"Wheres the B?" Clint asks, falling right into his trap.
In a shaky voice that sounds full of genuine fear he says "There's a bee?!"
After a second Clint snorts, followed by a laugh, followed by him falling on the floor in a heap of limbs, laughing hysterically.
Oh yeah, he's still got it. You can take the man out of Gen Z, but you can't take the Gen Z out of man.
"Who are you?" Wanda says suddenly, activating her powers,
"I'd rather suck Mr. Good and Righteous's star-spangled dick over there tha-"
"Parker."
He was suddenly cut off by a certain magical wizard walking into the room.
"Nice to see you" said the wizard softly.
"Wish I could say the same sparkles, listen, imma need you to explain what the frogidey fuck is going on before I start breaking shit."
"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"
"Yes, I like the taste of my mothers ashes on my mouth, reminds me of when I saw there lifeless bloody bodies on the ground when they died in a plane crash asshat." Peter said to the wizard with an emotionless look.
"What the fuck…" Steve said suddenly, with a small murmur of something that sounded oddly like the word "language" from around the room.
"Listen, I don't know what is happening right now, minutes ago I was about to get black out drunk, then suddenly I'm on my motorcycle about to make a call about what the fuck is happening and now I'm here. Like, Christ, can't a guy get a break?!"
"… we still don't know who you are…" Clint says after a few long seconds.
"Jesu- you know what, Benjamin White, that's my name. Can I go now?"
"Par-"
"Not my name. Used to be. Not anymore. Haven't been in 10 years." Ben says in an aggravated tone.
"Nice to meet you, really bu-" suddenly Clint was once again interrupted by the sound of an elevator ding and frantic footsteps.
"STRA-"
"Calm down Tony, I got him." Strange says in a deadpan, just done with this bullshit tone.
"Hold on, you guy found Peter?" Says Wanda.
"Yes"
"Then we're the fuck is he?!-"
"CAN SOMEONE TELL US WHY THIS GUY IS HERE!?"
"Yes Clint, we found the kid, and that guy right there i-" Strange was suddenly cut off by Ben.
"Oh, hold up, are you looking for a Peter Parker?"
"Yes" Multiple people say in a tandem.
"Oh, well, in that case.
He's dead."