XC

Cor Loquitor

Kagome grumbles under her breath about Shiori's obvious abandonment, making her way through the den until she reaches Kouga's chamber. He's already made a good start on replacing the furs that were taken out for cleaning and airing, but he blinks at her when she comes in and grabs the other end of the one he's unfolding. "Hello, woman. What are you doing?"

"Helping, what do you think?"

He shakes his head, but he's smiling. "No, Kagome. Not this time. These are my rooms until you say yes. Then you can help me. Then they'll be our rooms. Our furs. Our bed." By the time he says our bed he's leaning in by her ear, but he stops there, kisses her cheek and tugs the fur lightly out of her slack fingers. "Until then, you do nothing. Just wait, this won't take long."

She sits by the entrance, biting her thumbnail, watching him closely. If she can't help, at least she can see what he's doing, so that next time-

Next time is next spring. Am I intending to say yes by then? Or it won't matter, will it?

The thought hits her hard. It's been more a year that she's been stuck in the past. The exact date is hard to keep track of, but it's probably been a few weeks, maybe a month, since her birthday. Am I old enough to decide to be with him forever? Am I going to just wait until I'm twenty or something to make sure? The thought of trying to live more years like this is insane. And unfair to Kouga. The thought of all the years that make up forever is also insane… and scary.

I have to talk to him. I can't just keep going in circles in my head. That thought is scary too, but less so. Differently. And seeing him now, his pleased look every time he turns to find her still watching him, her chest feels warm and fuzzy. Tonight, then. I'll see if he likes it, if he wants it. And then after, I'll ask him about forever.

He lays the last couple of furs on his bed, the ones with the most rents in them, and she comes up beside him, tugging some of the holes straight. "It's more tears than fur now."

"I'm glad." Kouga slides one hand around her waist, and tips up her chin with the other. "The more it falls apart, the closer we are together. It's –"

She takes the words from him. "It's a blessing on our mating."

There's a groan in Kouga's sudden but not unexpected kiss. The sound stirs the simmering heat that's been prowling in Kagome's belly all day, and she squirms out of his hands enough to take off her clothes and climb into the freshly laid furs.

"Aren't you going to bed awfully early, Kagome? The sun only just went down."

His voice is teasing, and she looks up at him from under her lashes. "Is that a bad thing?"

"No." His shadow covers her in a moment, and she pushes herself up a bit, watching him strip to bare skin. Even after this long, it still dries her throat to look at him, to know that this gorgeous being wants her. He stalks her even though she's still, even though she's waiting for him and he knows it, until he sits at the edge of the bed, looking down at her. One hand cups her breast, and he teases the point of her nipple with his thumb, then leans in and nips at her neck, exactly where it will give her a shiver.

"Kouga." She grabs his shoulders, pulls him close enough to kiss him, then holds him still. "Just because I got in bed? Shiori's right." But even though she tries, she can't keep back her giggle.

"Is she? About what?"

"She says you've been taking advantage of my good nature, that I should have my own room, my own bed. That I should choose when to gift you with my presence." She grins a little, flushes a little. "When to stay the night with you, that is."

A frown tightens his forehead, and he lets go of her reluctantly. "She's right. Mostly. Technically. But you were hurt at first, and then you never said anything about not wanting to stay with me, so why would I give you up?"

Aware of what he must be thinking, she pulls herself up behind him and drapes herself over his back. "It's definitely your fault, that's for sure, but I haven't complained for a reason. I'm not complaining now, either. I don't want to sleep in another room, I like staying here with you. Besides, isn't my room where I keep all my clothes?"

"Yes –"

"So technically I just choose to stay here every night."

He looks up at her over his shoulder. "Did you tell her that?"

She doesn't miss the flash of exultant humor in his eyes, but she tells him the truth anyway. "Uh-huh." Then she pokes him in the rib. "But we agreed it's still your fault."

"Ow. You wound me, woman." When she snickers, he turns to look up at her, captures her mouth with a surprise kiss and then nuzzles her cheek. "But you're still telling me about this even after you talked to Shiori, even after you say you told her it's what you want. So what am I missing?"

"I… well, we talked about our courtship, too, and how it's going. She's the one who told me about the furs. And she was right about one thing, I don't want to change the way things are, but I'm running out of ways to… to tell you how pleased I am with everything. With how happy you make me. To tell you your way, not just with words." She stops. The look in his eyes, fixed on her face, tells her that he understands what she doesn't really want to say.

There's heat in her cheeks, burning her ears, but only half as much as every other place. "I didn't know if I could do what I was thinking, so I asked her, and it was so embarrassing. You don't owe me one, you owe me like… a million."

"A million what, Kagome?"

But she's not in the mood to explain idioms right now. "Shush, you. I'm trying to tell you that was why I came to bed early. I wanted to do something special. For you."

His eyes are very bright. "Something special for me."

Babbling, she treats it like a question, even though it isn't at all. "Because you make me happy. Because you do things that show me you mean what you say when… when you-"

"When I say I love you?"

She thinks her face is on fire. "Yes. And I thought maybe if you liked it, then it could be something for… that is, until… if we…"

"Shh." He pulls her around his body and into his arms, and this time his kiss is deeper, harsher, makes her glad she already planned to keep him in bed. "I'm glad you believe me. That you know I mean it. But say until, if you want me to think I make you happy. That if hurts, Kagome." His thumb moves from the corner of her mouth to the middle of her lip. "Haven't I told you? Take as long as you need. I'll wait half of forever. Doesn't that still leave me half to spend with you? But say yes."

"Kouga…" It's more of a moan than she means it to be, but that brings the smirk back onto his face.

"Do you want me to do something, woman?"

She pushes the furs out of the way to make a little pillow for herself, lies back and lifts her legs and drapes them over him, one behind his back and one over his legs. His eyes are fixed on her, and she takes his hand and draws it down between her thighs. "Touch me?"

She doesn't need to finish the words. His fingers move over her just how she likes, and she meets his eyes and flushes brighter, thinking about what she wants to do. What she's going to do, and what he's going to say about it, think about it, feel while she's doing it. A shudder moves up her calves, and then again, because he's watching her so closely, and the tips of the fingers on his free hand follow that shiver up her leg, past her hip, brush over the crinkled point of one her nipples, then pinch gently.

"Kagome, I don't think touching you is enough." He spreads her legs a little wider, teasing her with the ball of his thumb. "I think tasting would be better."

"I was going – to –" But she stops. It would ruin the surprise even if she could say it, and she can't say it, definitely not. Asking Shiori had been bad enough.

It's too late, anyway. Tasting is better. Much better. Since the first time, when she didn't know what to expect, he has only learned to please her more. To tease her more. It's the sweetest torture in the world, and when he wants to, like now, his tongue can chase her to the peak and keep her there.

It's only because she's promised him something special that he pulls away when the aftershocks of her climax subside. "What now, Kagome?" His voice is husky, and she sits up slowly, breathing hard, and pushes him back with both hands until their positions have effectively switched.

He looks up at her, and there's a question in his gaze; does he not get it, even when she's straddling him like this? But she doesn't say anything, and even though he starts to tug her down, she doesn't slip between his legs like she usually would. Instead she braces her hands on his chest, holding him in place, and settles firmly on top of him.

His hands seize her hips suddenly, painfully, as she feels the thick length of his erection throbbing against her, exactly where she wants it, pressed tight between them and captured by the spread petals of her sex. The wet heat of her body is all around him, the most she can give him without breaking their promise.

"Is this - okay?" She slides forward a little bit, and then back again, stroking him with her body and watching his face. She can feel his heart speeding under her hands, thud-thud-thudding where she's braced herself on his chest. His mouth opens, and then closes. He sucks in a breath, and then manages her name.

"Kagome." He breathes in again, half groan, half gasp. The heat of his erection slides against her every time she moves, or he moves, and she moans, almost laughing at how wide and wild his eyes are. "What are you doing, Kagome? You know – we - can't –"

"I know. But this doesn't count as breaking the rules, I told you, I asked. So I'm just… doing this. Just this." She moves over him again, forward and back, trembling a little. "Unless you don't want me to?" Then she stops, waiting for his answer, but he says nothing, just draws in heavy breaths one after another. The tiniest motion from her drives him against her in response, irregular, hitching movement of his hips, and it all clicks into place then.

Not that he doesn't want this, but how much. Not that she was wrong to think it would please him, but that maybe she was too right. Shiori's warning suddenly has meaning.

"You must do this thing only if you are in control."

The early moonlight that sneaks through the cracks into their room is bright enough to show her his face, how fast he's breathing – he can run a hundred miles in a minute and it doesn't show, but now he's shaking under her, tension in his thighs, his hands, one fang digging into his lip and all the time his body rising to meet her, tiny jerks of motion that tell her how badly he wants to shift their position, just a little bit –

Just a little bit.

I did this. I did this to him, I did, he wants me this much – oh but I want him too. I do, I want it, I want him… She thinks it's the best and worst temptation she's ever experienced, and then Kouga finally says something.

"Kagome. Please."

Two words, with all the hunger in the world. A drop of blood stands out on his bitten lip; when she moves, pressing down against him, drags herself along the length of him and doesn't stop this time, but continues to move over him, back and forth, he drops his head back against the furs and holds her hips with both hands.

It's hard for her to find a rhythm and stick to it, when it feels so good. She had thought about how it would feel good for Kouga, but not about how it would feel for her to move over him like this. Very hot, pressed against her. Very hot, and harder than she's ever felt him. The way his erection moves between them, trapped between his body and hers, is simultaneously very much like what his fingers do to her, and very different.

The most pleasant burning zips from the base of her spine outward, demanding that she move a little faster, and a little faster. She guides his hands up her body to her breasts, and he obeys, but after only a minute they fall back to grip her waist again, and then her hips, as if only then can he believe what she's doing.

"Kouga I think I – it feels-"

"Tell me."

"As good as your fingers, as good as your mouth - Kouga." She hadn't expected to like this feeling so much, to like looking down at him, and seeing how much he's coming undone. She touches his lips and his tongue sneaks past to curl around her fingers. Oh. Oh it's just like when he- "I can't – oh, I can't, I can't –"

This is supposed to be for him, but her climax washes over her in waves, erupts from the sweet friction between them and leaves her gasping over him, arching over his thighs and still rolling her hips, hitching forward and back, seeking those last shocks of ecstatic pressure. She feels him moving with her, hears a growling noise without words, and then her name, broken into guttural syllables that wrench an extra tremor out of her nerves.

When she opens her eyes, the streaks of white on his chest tell her exactly how well she's done pleasing him, but she can feel how hard he is under her still, a thick throbbing pressed tightly against the slickness of her sex. It's almost too much, her body tingling, too sensitive, but like the first time he touched her, the thought of how much he wants her is like a drug.

She knows him better now, knows herself better. She's almost used to this preening, sultry heat he awakes in her, the way it beats behind her heart. It's easier to say anything, do anything, as long as he's touching her and this desire is burning under her skin.

"Kouga, will you be like this when you really take me?" It's barely more than a whisper, but she knows that's more than enough for him to hear. "Will you not be able to stop, just like this?"

"Kagome. Woman, you -"

"Will I like it just as much?"

He chuckles darkly, the Wolf's low, panting laughter. "You will. Don't worry." His hands tighten at the tops of her thighs, and he drags her forward and back, moving her with irresistible strength in the same too-pleasing pattern. "I'll make sure of it. Don't I always?"

"Yes. Always. Kouga-" Sparks of white fire race inside her, following the movement, and she shifts her hips just a little, letting him do it.

"For now I'll help you, Kagome."

"Ah – ah – help?"

He pulls her down against his body, increasing the contact between them. "Or why did you stop?" Her most sensitive nerves are pressed tight against the heat and throbbing of his erection, and for a moment she gasps, tries to lift herself up again and can't escape the strength of his hands. "Do you want me to say please again, is that it?"

She shivers and moans even while she laughs at him. "You won't?"

"No, I will. I will. But what will you do if I keep saying it?"

Oh. Oh what will I do? Letting him start again like this was almost too much. She should have stopped him but she's weak in the face of his desire, his need, and it feels so good to let him do what he wants. To do what she wants. But more would be – would be -

"Please don't stop, Kagome. Please? Please."

A strangled little cry she didn't intend to make escapes her lips, and muscles deep inside her clench rhythmically around nothing. She feels the extra surge of wetness, slick and hot between them, coating his erection, and she can see by the sudden tightness of his body, the way his fingers are grasping at her hips, that he feels it too.

The heat and pressure against too-sensitive nerves is so good it hurts now, and every time he drags her over him a ragged breath heaves out of her mouth. She wants him to wait, even if it's just for a little while, but she can hear in every please that he's close, very close. It would be cruel to stop him now -

A wicked thought strikes her, and she leans closer to him, really whispering this time. "Is it very hot inside me, Kouga?"

His eyes are glassy with need; like she thought they would, the words enhance the fantasy just enough, and this time she sees his abdominal muscles clench, his pupils dilate. One of his hands reaches up to her throat and grabs her, but lightly, delicately, all five of his claws digging gently into her skin. His expression is awestruck, the blue of his eyes liquid and darker than she's ever seen.

She rolls her hips one more time, looking down at him, and watches him fall apart.

It's only a moment, but for that moment he can almost feel her around him, this woman who he loves, who he lusts for more than air. It's only a moment, but with his hand on her throat and her words in his ears he can forget the yes she hasn't said, and it's just like she's his, his, his –

But it's only a moment. The blinding pleasure is followed by the sweetest ache. He feels her pulse racing under his fingertips, the wetness and heat of her body still pressed tight against him, and swallows back his pleading whine when she slips one leg over his hips and drops by his side. Tired now, my woman. Look how hard you worked to please me. Look at your face, sleep in your smile, sneaking in from the corners of your eyes.

He doesn't look at the trembling in her thighs or the scratches on her hips. Doesn't think of the way her body is marked by his scent now. Doesn't think of how she looks over him, moves over him, flies for him and only him - Don't think, don't think, or I will hurt you just by loving you. Beautiful woman, why don't you believe in how breakable you are?

Does she even know what she's done? Does she? Does she know that right now she could ask for his heart and he'd dig it out of his chest? Or does she know I can't because it's no longer mine? How long ago was it that I gave it to her? He wants nothing more than to please her, to make her happy enough that the next time she climbs on top of him it will mean-

But that, he knows by her smile, her dark and smirking eyes, is her intention. The way a courtship is supposed to be. Because she knows, my woman. She always knows how to satisfy me.

"Kouga?"

"Hmm…?" He hears the drowsiness in his own voice, then feels the tips of her fingers, gentle against his lips, and kisses them.

"Can we talk about forever?"

He is suddenly, completely awake. He catches himself about to clutch at her and has to force his hands to be still. "Forever." He barely manages the word.

"It's a really long time, Kouga." But whether she thinks that's good or bad, he can't tell. She doesn't say anything else. Surely, surely it must mean something good. Isn't she happy? Yes, she is happy now, the relaxation of her body and the smoothness of her scent both singing with it.

The dark is quiet; her breath is even. He feels her eyes on him, even though he knows she can't see anything but the glow of his, and still he doesn't dare to look down at her. To see her face, which the night can't hide from him. To see if she's smiling, or frowning. If her eyes say maybe yes, or maybe no.

He's been waiting for this question, because she's mortal and human, even if she hasn't phrased it as exactly as he'd thought she might. He knows what it is she's thinking. Knows that the poetry of the courtship promise has turned her thoughts around, until now she's very wrong. A beautiful kind of wrong, but the kind that will mean she's never able to give him an answer.

"Forever… You're right to ask about it, but you're wrong, too. Forever's not so long, beautiful woman. Not as long as we want it to be." Her lips part, and he can sense her questions on her inhaled breath without looking at her. He shakes his head, and covers her mouth with his hand. The smile he has for her is very close to breaking, but she can't see it anyway. "You don't know what I mean. You're human, so I guess you couldn't. But even I don't know anyone who..."

He stops, shaking his head. No, that's not how to say it. "Immortal isn't invulnerable. Not fearing old age doesn't mean we don't fear anything else. To be my mate would give you a span longer than humans have normally, that's true. But even yōkai can't live thinking about eternity like it's a real thing. Forever is… it just means tomorrow. But always tomorrow, Kagome."

She's so smart, his woman. Surely she'll understand. She has to, because he doesn't know how to say it more clearly than that, can't breathe thinking it, knowing the truth of it. Forever can't be anything else but tomorrow, because the tomorrows go on forever until they end. Until the stars go out. Until one or both of them is dead.

Kouga touches her lips, her cheek, lets his thumb rest against the pulse in her neck. But now we are alive, she and I, and that is a kind of forever, too.

When he first knew he loved her, the meaning of it hadn't sunk in. Now, he knows better. He'll echo the seasons of this first year with her through all the seasons of his life. Forever will be spring magic at her side, summer waterfalls, autumn rain. Forever will let him forget the chill of winter, even if forever will end. Forever always ends.

But to end for her, it will have to take him first, and if it ends for him… No. He will live as long as she does, a fire that burns only as long as her breath. The knowledge settles in him, solid, but light and clear as air. That he will die for her or with her, someday. That one way or another, this story, like all stories, will close on a final page. But I'm going to make sure that's so far in the future, woman… so far, you'll find everything you've been missing waiting right where you left it. So far it might as well be another life.

"Forever just means never without you, Kagome. That's all. That's enough, that's everything." Now, he can look at her. When he does, he can't look away. Her eyes are stars in a moonlit face.

A/N: Nyoomnyoom. Such muffins. I love them. This chapter's title, Cor Loquitor, means "the heart speaks". Not much else to say about that. Hold on to your hair for next time, we are about to take a trip to the twilight zone, current location: Edo. Also, because I love you, here's fair warning: the next chapter is titled pater familias. I am sure plenty of you can figure that one out. Hehehe. Hehehe. Hehe.

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