Winter break was over and we were back in school. Chrissy, Quinn and I walked in. The path to Regionals had officially started. I ended up enjoying my date with James more than I thought I would. He had been such a gentleman and I did kind of like it, but I wasn't entirely sure if I liked him. Additionally, I had also gone on another date with Rachel and for once it did not end badly. Unfortunately, Rachel seemed to have gotten it into her head that she was my girlfriend now. It was kind of frustrating to be honest.
I was currently playing volleyball. Football was on a winter hiatus and I would have to wait until spring to start playing again. I could see Rachel in the crowd wearing a Team Faith t-shirt and it was kind of embarrassing. I did appreciate that I was pretty much only average at volleyball though. I didn't like being someone who was amazing at everyone, even though I knew that Chrissy was only trying to help. The other thing was the shorts were even shorter than the football shorts were. I didn't notice them while playing, but after I was done, I couldn't help but feel like everyone was staring at my legs and butt.
"I love that we can keep playing together." Jasmine told me in the locker room.
"We're not very good at volleyball." I pointed out.
"Yeah, but it's good exercise to keep us fresh for when the season starts back up." She stated. That was probably true, even though I wasn't entirely sure if I needed that.
"I just wish that these uniforms with less skimpy." I commented.
"I'm pretty sure that the uniforms are why guys watch us." Jasmine declared as I couldn't help but blush. "Speaking of guys, how are things with James?"
"We've been on two dates. I'm not exclusive with him and there's also the problem that Rachel seems to think I'm her girlfriend." I added.
"It probably would be a good idea to choose between one of them." She opined.
"I'm not entirely sure if I want to be with either of them." I admitted.
Once I was out of the locker room and in my regular clothes, I saw Rachel.
"Hey, Faith, I made us relationship calendars." She greeted me. I didn't think that she would do this again. I was kind of afraid to look at it because there might be a sex date on it. I wasn't going to have sex on any sort of schedule. I had a little bit of a hard time listening to everything that she said. It was also hard to tell her that the two of us weren't in a relationship.
Later, I walked over to Coach Kiernan in the hallway. I was still trying to get her and Coach Tweedy together.
"Hello, Coach Kiernan. How was your Christmas?" I asked her. It was that I realized that I should not have asked her that.
"Christmas makes me sad." She answered. She hadn't completely opened up about what happened to her yet.
"So have you talked to Coach Tweedy at all?" I asked.
"I don't know if I can do this, Faith. It's really hard for me to have an emotional connection to someone." She declared before she walked away. It was a little hard for me too, but that was mostly how my body was reacting to physical attraction.
I was still a little bit scared of the prospect of a relationship, mostly because I was a little bit scared of sex. I wasn't the easiest thing to explain. I enjoyed it before and I had even heard that it felt better for girls, but the idea of something putting things inside of me sounded a little bit terrifying. I was pretty sure that neither Rachel nor James would do anything without my consent, but I didn't know if I wanted to give consent.
At lunch, I sat with Quinn. I was really grateful that she was still in my life. While I had been mad at her, not being with her had caused me a lot of problems the first time we broke up.
"So how's Frannie doing?" I asked her.
"She's still looking for a job." Quinn answered.
"I'm sure that she'll be able to find something." I declared. "I can't believe that she's doing this on her own."
"Well my mom's sister is helping her a little bit." Quinn explained. "Have I told you lately that I'm really grateful for everything that your mom has done for me?"
"I'm just glad that you don't have a hernia anymore." I responded. She had also mostly recovered from the surgery. I decided to change the subject. "So have you thought about names at all?"
I kind of wanted to suggest Beth, but I did think that she needed to ultimately decide what the baby's name was. I did want her to keep her.
"I really haven't." She admitted. "Everything is taking a toll on me."
I couldn't imagine what it was like to be pregnant and I was pretty sure that was something that never wanted to experience. I knew that there were ways to do it without having sex, but Quinn really wasn't making it sound very appealing. Of course, I was also still a teenager. Maybe when I was older, I would feel different about it.
The two of us then went to Glee club where Mr. Schue was giving his lecture.
"The 80s." He declared. "Some say that it's the greatest decade for music."
I was pretty sure that he thought it was the greatest decade for music since all of his favorite songs seemed to have come from the decade. It was a little bit surprising since he hadn't graduated until the 90s.
"The other thing about the 80s is the fashion." He added. "While people can't agree if it's a good thing, it definitely left a mark on the world. This week, I not only want you to sing songs from the 80s, but also wear clothes from the 80s."
"How are we supposed to do that?" Ben asked.
"Go to a thrift store. They have plenty of vintage clothes." He explained. I couldn't help but wonder if I would have to do something about my hair too. Maybe I could find a wig or something. Actually, I decided that I was going to go to the costume shop after school to see if I could find a full costume. It would probably be easier than trying to research what people wore in the 80s, even though I could probably ask my mom.
I would also need to figure out what I was going to sing. I couldn't help but wonder if I should sing some 80s pop. I knew that New Wave was a big thing back then. I was at least glad that h
"This sounds awesome." Adonis commented.
"We also need to start preparing for Regionals." He added. "As you've noticed, winning Sectionals really hasn't done anything for your popularity."
I was pretty sure that there was a brief period after winning Nationals that the Glee club was popular but that ended when Marley decided to defend the lunch lady, aka her mom.
Later I was by my locker when Rachel came up to me and she kissed me. I didn't kiss her back. I knew that I knew that I needed to let her down easy. This had gone on long enough. I wasn't sure why I was so hesitant to be with her, but maybe it was just because she had no humility. I really wanted to love Rachel, but at the moment, that wasn't something that I could do.
"What's wrong?" She asked. "I know that my being my girlfriend is difficult. I'm the hottest girl in school, even if no one else thinks that, but I'm not popular and I'm high-maintenance. I would really like it if you were honest with me."
"Rachel, I'm not your girlfriend." I told her. "We've been on one date."
"Is this about James?" She inquired.
"It's not about anyone. It's about how you're trying to rush into things that I am not ready for. I told you that I want to take things slow and you don't listen to me." I explained.
Of course, the negative thing was I knew that Rachel was going to sing an angry breakup song about me. I couldn't help but wonder what it was going to be. I probably wouldn't even bad sad about it because she thought that our relationship was a lot more than it was.
After school, she was wearing a leather jacket with a rather short dress and had her hair fluffed. How had she done all of that without leaving? Or did she leave and come back?
Shot through the heart and you're to blame
You give love a bad name
An Angel's smile is what you sell
You promised me heaven and put me through hell
Chains of love got a hold on me
When passion's a prison you can't break free
Oh you're a loaded gun
Oh there's nowhere to run
No one can save me the damage is done
Shot through the heart and you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I played my part you played your game.
You give love a bad name
Paint your smile on your lips
Blood red nails on your fingertips
A schoolgirl's dream you ask so shy
Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye.
Oh you're a loaded gun
Oh there's nowhere to run
No can save me the damage is done
Shot through the heart and you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I played my part you played your game.
You give love a bad name
Everyone but Quinn and I clapped as she finished. I had to say that even though the two of us weren't really together, it was still kind of embarrassing to be called in front of everyone. Unfortunately, I couldn't sing any sort of rebuttal because I had neither the song, nor the outfit prepared.
"That was awesome Rachel." Mr. Schue told her. "I really felt your rage."
Quinn and I walked together as we prepared to go home.
"So what exactly happened? Did you break up with her or something?" She asked.
"We were never together. She seemed to think that we were but we weren't." I pointed out.
"Well it's a good thing that you got out now." She told me. "I just know that if you had been in a relationship with her, she was going to break your heart. You are better off without her."
I still didn't quite understand Quinn's hatred for Rachel. Part of me wondered if there was more to it, but I wasn't sure if I could ask her because it might have been something that I was supposed to know about. It kind of sucked not knowing anything that happened in my life before this year. Things would be a lot easier if I had some memories of being Faith, but I wasn't sure if that would come at the cost of my old memories, which I definitely didn't want. I wanted to know who I had been, even if no one else other than Chrissy did.
The next day after school, Chrissy and I were at the costume shop together.
"I'm a little surprised that you wanted to come here." She told me.
"I thought that this would be easier place to find a costume." I explained. "Plus they probably have a wig that I can wear so I don't have to do anything to my hair. So did you know what you were going to sing?"
"I was probably going to do 'Mickey'." She answered. I had a bit of an embarrassing story about that song that I decided to tell her.
"You know when I was a kid, I used to think that song was about Mickey Mouse." I admitted.
"Well I could dress as Minnie, but I think I may just go for the most traditional look. I'm gonna see if I can find an 80s cheerleading outfit." She replied.
"Okay." I declared as I started to go down some of the aisles.
One of the downsides about being pretty new to being a girl was that I wasn't entirely sure what to buy. I let Chrissy buy me a lot of my clothes because I didn't really know how to shop for myself. I had to look at what they had. I had researched what some of the pop singers in the 80s wore, so I had a little bit of an idea at least. I grabbed an old dress.
"Are you looking for a specific outfit?" A girl asked me.
"What?" I responded as I looked over to see a girl the same height as me with blonde hair and blue eyes. "Yeah, I'm just looking for an 80s outfit to wear for a performance for my school's glee club. Our teacher wants us to dress up."
"A glee club, eh. I thought I recognized you. If I'm not mistaken you name is Faith Hudson from New Directions. I was a little surprised by your choice of a Hannah Montana song but I thought that you sounded really good on it, even if you were a little pitchy." She replied.
"I'm sorry, but who are you?" I asked her. I couldn't help but wonder how this girl who knew who I was and why she was critiquing my performance like that.
"Oh where are my manners? My name is Sadie St. James. I'm from Vocal Adrenaline." She told me. Sadie? Was she supposed to be Jesse or something? Was he just a girl here or something? I mean I was, so I supposed it was possible. "You know since you're doing 80s songs, I have a bit of an idea. How about we sing something together? You can go get changed and we can do this."
"I don't think that I should do that." I told her. I wasn't entirely sure if she was flirting with me or not. I expected her to run into Rachel. They did seem to have this really nice wig. I was also pretty sure that they wouldn't want us to sing in the middle of the store, even though I hadn't seen anyone here other than her and Chrissy.
"It's just a little bit of friendly competition." She stated. "Do you not think that you can keep up with me or something?"
I knew that she was trying to egg me on, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to perform with her. I put on the costume and the wig and then out. I was wearing a brown wig with rainbow highlights with a leather jacket and blue and pink belt dress with go-go boots. I came out to see her wearing a leather jacket of her own with a blue and purple lace dress with black leggings and pink tennis shoes. She turned on a jukebox. It was then I realized that she worked here. I knew what song we singing, but I hadn't considered Pat Benatar. I started off.
You're a real tough with a long history
Of breaking little hearts like the one in me
That's okay let's see how you do it
Put up your dukes let's get down to it
Hit me with your best shot
Why don't you hit me with your best shot?
Hit me with your best shot
Fire away
Come on with it, come on you don't fight fair
That's okay see if I care
Knock me down, it's all vain
I get right back on my feet again
Hit me with your best shot
Why don't you hit me with your best shot?
Hit me with your best shot
Fire away
She then mimed shooting me during the solo and I had to admit that I was having a blast doing this. I never thought doing the song from the point of view of two people trying to break each other's hearts, but it was genius.
You're a real tough with a long history
Of breaking little hearts like the one in me
Before I put another notch in my lipstick case
You better make sure you put me in my place
Hit me with your best shot
Come on hit me with your best shot
Hit me with your best shot
Fire away
Hit me with your best shot
Why don't you hit me with your best shot?
Hit me with your best shot
Fire away
As soon as the song was over, I noticed that she was standing right in front of me. I grabbed her and the two of us started to make out with each other.
"Faith, what are you doing?" Chrissy interrupted. I blushed and broke apart from her. "So can we check out?"
"Yes." Sadie replied as she took us to the register. I went and got changed. I was still going to get the clothes because I didn't think anyone else would want them after that.
After we left, the two of us rode in the car in silence. I couldn't help but wonder what Chrissy was thinking when she caught me making out with a stranger. Actually, it was worse than making out with a stranger. It was making out with someone that I hated.
"What the fuck was that?" She asked me.
"I don't know how to explain it. I think the two of us got really into our performance." I remarked. "So why is Jesse a girl here?"
"I mean it's not unrealistic that other people's sex are changed in this world as well." She pointed out. "But that's really something that you can't do. Jesse's supposed to be with Rachel."
"You know I'll probably never even see her again." I declared. I had feeling that for once Chrissy was right about something that shouldn't change. It was mainly because I didn't want to be in a relationship with Jesse St. James, even if he was a very attractive blonde girl.
I felt a little bit guilty about it. I needed to talk to someone about it, but I had a feeling that Quinn would just encourage it. I decided to talk to the closest thing that I had to a mentor and went to Coach Tweedy's office.
"Hey, Coach, I have something that I need to tell you about." I declared as she looked at me. "I was at the costume shop the other day and this girl and I were singing together and then we started making out with each other. The thing is she's from one of the groups that we're going to competing against at Regionals."
"What's her name?" She asked.
"Sadie St. James." I answered before I noticed an uneasy look on her face. "What?"
"Faith, Sadie St. James is the star striker from Carmel High. They're ranked number 3 in the state." She explained.
"Damn it. She plays football too?" I asked in disbelief. "What should I do?"
"I can talk to her coach if you want." She offered.
Later in Glee club, I couldn't help but keep thinking about Sadie. Ben was singing a song.
She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene
I said :"I don't mind but what do you mean I am the one
Who will dance on the floor, in the round"
She said I am the one who will dance on the floor, in the round
She told that her name was Billie Jean as she caused a scene
And every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one
Who will dance on the floor in the round
People always told me be careful what you do
Don't go around breaking young girls' hearts
And mother told me be careful who you love
Be careful what you do because the lie becomes the truth
Billie jean is my not lover
She's just a girl who claims that I am the one
But the kid is not my son
She says that I am the one
But the kid is not my son
People always told me be careful what you do
Don't go around breaking young girls' hearts
And mother told me be careful who you love
Be careful what you do because the lie becomes the truth
Billie jean is my not lover
She's just a girl who claims that I am the one
But the kid is not my son
She says that I am the one
But the kid is not my son
That night I was at home when I got a call from Coach Tweedy. I answered the phone and said hello to her.
"So there's a bit of a small problem." She remarked. "I kind of made out with her Glee club coach."
"Shelby Corcoran?" I asked.
"Yeah. I don't think it's going to lead anywhere. Please don't tell Coach Kiernan about this." She replied.
"You're not dating her." I pointed out.
"Still please don't tell her." She begged. I felt a little bit bad for her since seemed to be pretty down bad for Coach Kiernan.
"Okay, I won't." I promised before I hung up.
The night, I couldn't stop thinking about Sadie. It was making it a little hard to get my homework done. I knew that this was a very bad idea, but I needed to see her again. I would have to go to her school. Maybe it would just be easier to find her at work.
I went back to the costume shop by myself after school. I was nervous about this.
"Let me guess, you couldn't stop thinking about me either." She declared.
"You didn't tell me that you played football too." I stated.
"It didn't come up." She answered. "I'm only a sophomore so I haven't decided what I wanted to do yet."
"You're a sophomore?" I asked in disbelief. Jesse wasn't a sophomore. "I thought you'd be a senior."
"No, I may look older, but I'm just 16." Sadie answered. Why was her age different as well as her sex? "Listen I know that you must have some preconceptions about me. I know that I'm amazingly talented and a spectacular athlete, but I don't want you to think of me as the girl who wants to kick your ass on both the field and the stage. I want you to think of me as Sadie, the girl who can't stop thinking about you and the girl who would never break your heart."
I knew that Jesse could be a bit of a sweet talker, so I still wasn't very sure if she was just playing me, but she sounded so damn convincing. There was also the fact that I really shouldn't do anything with her. Nothing good would come out of it.
"How about we go out tomorrow night and then we can really get to know each other?" She suggested. I couldn't believe that I was considering going on another date so soon after I had ended things with Rachel. Not to mention going out with her would make her pissed at me, even more than she was now.
"Okay." I agreed. Chrissy was also going to be pissed at me for this. That also made me think about Jesse's motive to introduce Rachel to Shelby, which wasn't exactly a bad thing. I couldn't confirm that Sadie had that same plan, but even if she did, would I be mad at her for doing so? I supposed if it came up, I could see how I felt about it then. I was about to say yes to her. "You can pick me up at my school tomorrow after my volleyball game."
So the story has returned. Faith has, against her better judgment, started to fall for the female version of Jesse. Sadie is played by Brittany Snow. The songs in this chapter "You Give Love A Bad Name" by Bon Jovi, "Hit Me with Your Best Shot" by Pat Benatar and "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson. Please don't forget to review.