AITA for getting creeped out by the way one of the bosses likes to dress? I mean, I don't want to be that guy. You know, the judgmental jerk wad who has a problem with alternative lifestyles.

I know human existence and its expressions comes in many, many shades and I'm not going to like all the colors.

Cool! And I probably seem pretty vanilla. I never deviate from your regular issue uniform. My hair is just a boring dark brown color. I don't even have any neat scars or missing body parts. I'm a standard marine by all accounts.

But there's this one guy at work - and I have to admit I was predisposed to dislike him already. He basically inherited his leadership position from daddy and I'm more qualified than he is! Seriously! Someone snapped a pic of his test scores and I got to see them. They're not even average!

There's a reason why even us marines call him Spanda behind his back. He's overrated, low tier trash that can't survive real life outside of a narrow set of specific circumstances.

Sorry for the tangent! So, all cards on the table, I don't like Spanda because he got his high ranking position through nepotism. I just want you to know I recognize my bias and I'm trying to check it.

Back to why I'm writing in. The guy wears a lot of leather & that's weird enough for our line of work. But that's not why I'm creeped out.

You see, Spanda wears this studded leather mask over his face and he likes punishing prisoners, if you know what I mean. He really enjoys it, way too much. It's giving me this whole BDSM vibe and I don't want that at work! Or at home! Like I wrote earlier - me, vanilla and I'm happy with the way I am.

I'm not even entirely sure what BDSM is, but it looks really uncomfortable. Especially the clothes. Am I just being a judgmental asshole? Am I kink shaming?

Do I need to stop making faces behind Spanda's back?

durianfilth • 09/14/2005

NTA. Writing as a long time veteran in the scene, Spanda is breaking the most basic of all the rules - don't force your kink on other people.

You're uncomfortable for all kinds of normal, non-shaming reasons. Don't feel bad at all.

The only person who is being an asshole is Spanda. He's abusing his position of authority at WORK to make his subordinates participate/watch him act out his BDSM fantasies. You and the other marines are figuratively trapped in his kink play and it's completely non-consensual and wildly inappropriate.

From what you described, his superiors must be aware of his behavior and are simply ignoring it. My recommendation? Start accidentally calling him by some other officer's name, preferably someone particularly boring.

If I believed in god, you'd be in my prayers. Best of luck! And keep making faces behind his back. Just don't get caught!

p.s. While I agree pandas are massively overhyped, they're great mascots for environmental causes. Try to think of them pragmatically and remember, what helps the panda will also help the polar bear downstream.

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