Hisashi dropped down from the sky and proclaimed, "If you want me to become a hero so badly, little brother, then I will."

Yoichi gaped from over his comic book. His brother was never this accommodating. "You're lying. I was expecting you to show up saying you'd murdered the Glowing Baby or something equally evil."

Looking harried, Hisashi brushed off his pants. "You've been nagging me about becoming a hero for years. Now as soon as I agree, you don't want me to any longer?"

"You're an imposter." Yoichi glanced around the trash heap, looking for exits. He might be frail and powerless, but between living on the streets and having a very huggy brother, he'd learned to run fast. Slowly, he stood up and tucked his favorite comic book under his arm.

"You're a fool."

No one else could manage that exasperated tone. "Hmm, not an imposter." Yoichi ran forward and put a hand on his brother's forehead. "Are you feverish? Is it mind control?" He checked the eyes for the glow that always indicated mind control in comics.

Hisashi shoved off the hand. "There's nothing wrong with my mind! Look…" He exhaled. "I was minding my own business—"

"You were stealing quirks."

"—when I got struck by a strange ability that let me see a future where you died, I chased around your ghost for a century, my face got turned into a potato, then I rewound to a baby and perished pathetically."

The speech had come out so fast, Yoichi wasn't sure if he'd heard right. "…A baby?"

Hisashi coughed. "Forget about it. Since I'm such a perfect and wonderful brother, I decided to give your silly idea a try. Becoming a hero instead of a villain couldn't possibly make my future any worse." In a smaller voice, he said, "I really don't want you to die."

There had been sincerity behind that soft tone and glance sideways. Even if he still didn't understand, Yoichi's heart melted. "I see what happened now! You must have read the end of Captain Hero. I knew if you saw how heroes always win, you'd change your ways." He swept up his older brother into a hug. "This is the best day ever! You're going to be the coolest hero in existence."

Hisashi patted his back. "Sure, let's go with that. It's less embarrassing. So, how do I become a hero?"

Yoichi withdrew. "Uh…"

"You don't know? A nerd like you?"

"There are lots of ways!" Yoichi threw up his hands. "Sometimes you find a strange artifact that gives you superpowers, or you encounter a mysterious mentor, or a relative dies—"

"A relative dies?!" Hisashi paled. "I'm trying to avoid that. Maybe becoming a hero isn't such a good idea."

"NO!" Yoichi shouted. After having his second greatest dream dangled before his nose, he could not tolerate it being taken back. (The greatest dream would be becoming a hero himself.) "You already have your powers, so you're past the point of an origin story. It's fine. We're safe from any Uncle Ben incidents."

Hisashi eyed him suspiciously. "If you say so."

Big brother certainly seemed to be in an oddly accommodating mood today. Determined to take full advantage, Yoichi bit his lip. "Since you already have your powers, I think you just put on a costume and start fighting crime."

"Do I have to get a costume?" Hisashi asked, rolling his eyes.

"Yes, you do. It's essential." Yoichi grabbed his brother's hand. "I have a lot of ideas. Come on."

The two brothers stood in an abandoned clothing store. Hisashi had used his powers to float off a few fallen pillars. It took some sorting, but Yoichi found some boxes of clothing not covered in dirt. "Wouldn't this make a cool cape?" He held up a red sheet.

Hisashi shuddered. "Nothing in red, blue, or yellow. It reminds me too much of my head as a potato."

"Uh…" Yoichi decided to let that strange statement slide.

Hisashi unfolded a black suit. "I like this."

Yoichi almost said that heroes didn't wear black, but then he remembered Batman. Also, he reminded himself that it wasn't his costume. Every hero deserved his own style. And black was his brother's favorite color. "Sure, but you need a cape. Heroes must have capes."

"As long as the cape is black," Hisashi insisted.

Yoichi found a black cloth with a silver star pattern. They added some shoulder spikes that made Hisashi very happy. Then they were ready.

"This is so cool," Yoichi chanted as he crouched on top of the roof of an abandoned building. "We're going to be heroes together. Well, I don't have a power. But I can be your guy in a chair. We'll be like Oracle and Batman."

A clattering sound drew Yoichi's attention below. A hulking man had cornered a homeless teenager pushing a shopping card. The teen dropped the cart and ran, but the man pursued. Yoichi shuddered. From his experience living on the streets, most muggers just wanted the goods. Only the most dangerous ones gave chase. "Big brother, we have to save that kid."

Hisashi dropped down from the sky, his cape majestically spreading behind him. He landed in a crouch, fist punching the ground, like an amazing, awesome hero. Then he chopped the mugger in the back of the neck, instantly severing his spine.

"What have you done?!" Yoichi wailed. He ran down the stairs as fast as he could. By the time he reached the ground floor, he was panting and struggling to breathe. The homeless teen had long ago run off. Bent over, Yoichi whispered, "We have to call an ambulance…do CPR…"

"CPR is for when someone's heart stops," Hisashi said. "I broke that guy's neck. Besides, there are no ambulances left. There are barely any hospitals."

Yoichi wrung his hands. "No, no, no! This is a disaster! Heroes don't kill people. They turn criminals over to the police."

Hisashi frowned. "Little brother, I have some bad news for you about the modern state of the police. Your comic books take place in the past, when the world was very different. Society has completely collapsed. The prisons are—"

"This must be your big regret!"

"Pardon me?"

Yoichi clutched his hair. "Many heroes have a big regret that fuels their passionate pursuit of justice. On your first mission, you accidentally killed a mugger."

"It wasn't an accident."

"Ever since then, you've been full of remorse. You vowed to never kill again." Yoichi grabbed his brother's collar and shook him. "Didn't you?"

Hisashi gazed into those wild eyes, then sighed. "I'd only do this for your sake, little brother. Fine. I won't kill the criminals next time."

"Thank you." Yoichi released his brother. Gently, he said, "It means a lot to me, that you're trying so hard."

"I don't really understand being a hero," Hisashi said. "But I'll do my best to become your favorite kind of hero."

Based on another tip from comic books, Yoichi had acquired a police radio to overhear information on crimes. He directed his brother to the next bank robbery.

Hisashi used a quirk to tie up all the robbers with sticky purple string. Yoichi watched proudly as his heroic brother handed the criminals over to the police, then vanished into the sky with a mysterious wave.

When Hisashi landed on the roof, Yoichi ran over to hug him. For the first time in a long time, he said sincerely, "You were cool, big brother."

Hisashi smiled with uncharacteristic softness. "I didn't even maim them a little."

"I know." Yoichi hugged harder. "You're the best brother and the best hero."

Yoichi did wonder about the police car being dented and spewing smoke. But nearly everything these days was in ruins, so he didn't pay it much mind.

A week later, the bank robbers were out and this time robbing a jewelry store. Hisashi captured them and handed them over to the police.

Two days after that, the robbers took a convenience store clerk hostage. Hisashi captured them and sent them to jail again.

Four days later, the robbers stole a school bus with the children still inside and tried to force their way into an art museum. Once again, Hisashi captured them.

As Hisashi flew away from the crime scene, he waved at his adoring public below. They chanted, "One for All! One for All!"

"Why are they calling you that?" Yoichi asked.

Hisashi grinned. "It's a name I got from my dream. I adopted it as my own. Doesn't it sound like a heroic name?"

It did. Yoichi couldn't explain why he suddenly felt annoyed and cheated, as if his brother had stolen his pocky again.

Instead Yoichi focused on the more immediate problem: "Why do the robbers keep escaping jail?"

"Because Japan's jails are garbage, little brother. I tried to tell you before. Anyone with a power can easily escape. The guards barely even try to keep people inside. They're more afraid of the prisoners than the other way around." Hisashi beamed. "Now I understand why you told me to send criminals to jail instead of killing them. I can build up my reputation as a hero even faster by defeating the same villain several times in a row! It's like practicing catch and release on fish."

"That's not why I told you not to kill people." Yoichi scowled. "This can't be right."

Hisashi pointed out, "Villains constantly escape from jail in comic books."

That was true. Yoichi gnawed on his lip. "I need to read my comics again."

Yoichi spent the rest of the evening doing research. It did indeed appear that jails were a revolving door in hero comics. But the comics had never shown him how awful it was for people who suffered from never-ending reigns of terror. Yoichi had seen how terrified the children had looked, being taken hostage. Even though Hisashi had stopped the criminals, real trauma had already been inflicted.

But what was Yoichi supposed to do? Tell his brother to kill people after all? That would be absurd.

Late at night, Yoichi tossed and turned, not sure what to do.

The good news was that Hisashi was finally arresting someone besides the same group of robbers over and over again. The bad news was that he was arresting a homeless child for stealing a loaf of bread.

"This doesn't feel right," Yoichi hissed as the police car took the little girl away.

Hisashi shrugged. "Don't you always tell me that heroes enforce the law?"

"Yes…but…" Yoichi couldn't help thinking a real hero would have found a better way to handle the situation. "We should have helped her."

"She'll have food in jail. At least until she leaves, which should be pretty easy even for a child, if that makes you feel better."

It did not make Yoichi feel better. "A comic book hero would have purchased food for her and found her a place to live."

"Those heroes have wealthy alter egos. We're a pair of poor street children too."

Alas, Hisashi had a point. Yoichi couldn't accept the point, though. "We need to find a better way next time."

"Do you want me to become a hero or a charity worker? Those are two very different things. A hero is basically a superpowered police officer. I don't help people, I beat up criminals."

"That's not true," Yoichi insisted. "Captain Hero saves people! He always makes the most moral choice."

"Morals are made-up rules, and as a hero, my job is to enforce the government's made-up rules." Hisashi shrugged. "I only wish I got paid for it."

"Heroes aren't supposed to get paid!"

"If you truly wanted to change the world to ensure that all children can eat, then I should go into politics."

Yoichi shuddered to think of his brother as a politician. "Let's stick to heroing. At least I know a little about that."

He would need to consult his comic books more.

Yoichi was absolutely delighted when Hisashi received an offer to become part of the first government-sponsored hero team. Finally, Hisashi would be under the orders of real professionals. They could surely turn him into a proper hero much better than Yoichi ever could. "You have to accept, of course."

"Are you certain?" Hisashi glanced up from the offer letter. "I thought you didn't like me obeying the government's dumber rules."

"But these are heroes," Yoichi insisted. "I'm certain they'll all be perfect beacons of morality."

"Do you promise you won't complain at me for doing my job?"

"I promise."

Hisashi grinned. "Then of course I'll accept. I can finally get paid for all my labor!"

At first, Yoichi thought the professional hero team was going great. Hisashi had an even cooler costume with black body armor and a demonic mask. Since Hisashi had classified Yoichi as his manager, Yoichi even got to hang out in the hero team's breakroom and eat snacks while they were on missions.

Nevertheless, as Yoichi read the news about the hero team, his brow furrowed. Even with the news biased in the hero team's favor, it still didn't sound good.

Yoichi knocked on Hisashi's office door.

Hisashi had turned his office into a man cave full of demon king posters and figurines on every wall. Even his desktop computer had two horns rising off the monitor. He contentedly leaned his feet on the desk.

Yoichi asked, "Big brother, is it true that the Prime Minister sent you to arrest vigilantes?"

Hisashi nodded. "All heroes have to be registered and have a license. You can't have both professional heroes and randos roaming the streets calling themselves heroes."

"But…" Yoichi bit his lip. "Those vigilantes have been protecting people while the government was in a state of collapse. It's not right."

"You promised me you wouldn't complain if I followed orders of the professional hero team. You said they knew better than both of us."

"I did say that…"

Hisashi stood up. As he headed for the door, he ruffled his little brother's hair. "I gotta run, little brother. I've been summoned to break up a group who are protesting discriminating against people with mutant quirks."

Yoichi made distressed noises as his brother left.

Hisashi, or rather the hero One for All, was everywhere.

On a billboard, advertising the latest energy drink.

On commercials, showing off black sneakers.

Even during interviews, he made certain to tell the reporters the brand of tooth paste he credited for his bright smile.

Yoichi kicked open the office door. "Big brother, I know you don't actually use any of those products."

Sitting behind his desk, Hisashi counted his money. "Of course not, that fishy energy drink would probably make me ill."

"You claimed the sneakers allowed you to fly!"

"Anyone dumb enough to believe that deserves to fall to their deaths."

Yoichi waved his hands in the air. "Heroes aren't supposed to make money!"

"That's what I thought too, but it turns out being a hero is very profitable. I'm making far more money than when I was stealing, and with less effort too." Hisashi grinned. "I should have become a hero much sooner!"

When this venture had first started, Yoichi would have wept from joy to hear those words. Now he wanted to cry from misery. How had it all gone wrong so fast?

Hisashi pulled out a second stack of money. "This is what I got from people who wanted me to take their quirks. Being a hero has been great publicity for my services. I can use the money to buy even more quirks!"

"Absolutely not!" Yoichi yelped. "Now that you're a hero, you're only allowed to use your power to help other people. Never for personal gain."

"But…quirks…" Hisashi's face fell.

"You promised me to at least try being the right kind of hero. I'll let your endorsements slide if you stop taking people's powers."

Hisashi considered his Demon King merchandise. Yoichi could almost see his brother calculating that he wanted to buy merch more than he wanted more powers. "Sure, but I'm counting on you to explain to the world why I'm not using my ability any longer, because I don't understand it myself."

After Hisashi went around telling people that his brother had ordered him not to take quirks any longer, Yoichi got bombarded with emails, phone calls, and letters begging him to relent. The count reached five hundred in three days.

Under the massive pressure, Yoichi finally admitted people did want his brother to take their quirks after all. He released his brother from their promise.

Hisashi took advantage of the increased demand to raise his prices.

No matter how fishy the professional heroes became, Yoichi had at least comforted himself that his brother was rescuing people from natural disasters. Surely there could be no more obvious and simple act of heroism. Absolutely no controversy.

Up until Yoichi heard the news reporting that Hisashi hadn't been available to help repair flood damage because he'd been "fighting a Demon King."

Storming into his brother's office, Yoichi growled, "I know the only demon king you were fighting was the figurine you had to remove from one of those really tricky boxes full of twist ties."

Hisashi fiddled with his new figurine. "The team keeps trying to call me when I'm on break."

"Heroes never rest!"

"I haven't found a quirk to let me operate without sleep yet. Besides, everyone needs mental health breaks too. Our superiors are overworking us to a ridiculous degree. They expect a handful of heroes to rebuild all of Japan. They should have hired more vigilantes."

Yoichi crossed his arms. "What would your fellow heroes think about you slacking off?"

"I'll ask them." Hisashi stood up.

Hisashi vanished into Crimson Riot's office. A few minutes later, Yoichi overheard Crimson Riot sobbing and saying, "I haven't seen my wife in weeks! If I get sent out on one more mission, I'm going to faceplant into the dirt. I might let a villain kill me just to get some sleep."

"You don't have to live like this," Hisashi said. "Let me teach you all my techniques to avoid work."

When Hisashi returned the office, he had a big grin on his face. "The other heroes love my ideas for avoiding burnout, actually. I taught them how to supplement our low paychecks with endorsements. Also, we're unionizing. They even said they owed me a favor for suggesting it. Isn't that lovely? I adore favors."

Yoichi glared at his brother, unable to figure out if he'd done something good or bad this time. But it had definitely not been in line with comic book heroics.

It was a good thing that Yoichi was allowed into the hero headquarters, because he couldn't step outside without someone trying to kidnap him. To make matters worse, every time his stupid brother had to show up and rescue him.

A reporter interviewed them with the stone-skinned villain tied up next to them. "Another heroic rescue by One for All," she gushed. "You must feel so lucky to have such a perfect older brother."

Hisashi put an arm around Yoichi. "We're very close."

Yoichi's eye twitched. The constant compliments to his brother were almost as bad as the kidnappings. Like hell Hisashi was perfect! None of these people had ever seen Hisashi pick his nose and then wipe off the boogers on a Captain Hero comic.

After the brothers returned to the hero headquarters, Yoichi grumbled, "I don't understand why so many more people want to kidnap me now! You had enemies as a criminal too."

"Yes, but they all knew I would have murdered anyone who touched you," Hisashi said. "Now that I'm abiding by your no-kill policy, villains simply aren't as scared of me. They know they have infinite shots at you every time they break out of jail."

Yoichi moaned.

Hisashi patted his head. "No need to fear, little brother. I'll rescue you as many times as it takes. My fans adore it when I rescue you, and I always get more endorsements afterward. Would you be willing to help me advertise a shampoo brand next time you get kidnapped?"

Yoichi burst into tears.

Hisashi returned home from a hard day of work heroing to find his little brother gone. He called, "Yoichi? Don't tell me you got kidnapped twice in the same day."

"I'm in the vault," Yoichi called.

Hisashi opened the door of the vault where he kept all his favorite merchandise and comic books. Yoichi was curled up on top of a stack of comics, clutching his hair.

"Rough day?" Hisashi asked.

Yoichi moaned. "I can't take any more of the constant kidnapping attempts. I finally locked myself in here where it's nice and safe."

"I do enjoy the idea of having you in a safe vault." Hisashi smiled. "You could stay in here forever. I'll bring you food and entertainment. Whenever I'm not at work, I'll come keep you company. Is that what you want?"

"NO!" Yoichi exploded. "I'm tired of this. I hate you being a hero! This isn't what I wanted at all! Heroism is all a lie! It's nothing like the comic books! I've decided to become a moral relativist!"

Hisashi waited patiently.

Desperately, Yoichi leapt up and grabbed his brother's shoulders. "Big brother, what if we become villains together? I've come to realize that only villains have the power to change this sucky world. Also I desperately want to crush everyone who destroyed my dream."

Hisashi grinned. This universe was already going much better than his previous future. Amazing what he could accomplish simply by showing his little brother what his dream actually looked like. He'd have to remember this tactic as he conquered Japan. "I'd love that. Let's pick out your power and new quirk."

OMAKE TIME!

Yoichi: Big brother, I'd like you to make friends with the other heroes.

Hisashi: I taught them all how to get their own endorsements.

Yoichi: Not what I meant! You're corrupting heroes!

Hisashi: What, don't friends help each other? They owe me favors now, and my presence is already a favor to them.

Yoichi: You've ruined the power of friendship now too.

#

Hisashi: You're under arrest for vigilantism.

Kudou: Who are you?

Hisashi: You don't know me, and with a little luck, you never will in this universe. Becoming a hero was totally worth it for this.

#

Yoichi: No more enforcing corrupt and probably illegal orders!

Hisashi: Okay, I overthrew the government.

Yoichi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Hisashi: I've come to the conclusion that you don't know what you want.