04/18 Before School
"Fuck," I pulled my buds ears away and thrust them into my pocket.
For years it's assisted me with keeping the voices at bay, putting the memories behind me, and cutting me off from the burdens of life; it's not helping me relax anymore. I would press the button on my player and just listen to a couple tunes before changing it. Again and again I'd change the song on my music player but couldn't find a song worth my time. Over three thousand songs and nothing to listen to. No, that's a lie because every song I have is catchy or good in some way, but for some reason I can't find a song to help my mind settle down. Music has always been one of my escapes but now it all sounds like white noise to me. Like the noise of Shadow World. That world can't follow me in the real world though… Could it? Would that place follow me across dimensions just to plague me? Dear god, gods, demon, and devils in every direction I hope not.
Without my music to help my soul settle I began to feel it again. On the way to school I was having troubling stopping my trembling. Like my hands wouldn't stop shaking and the dizziness was becoming annoying. Why now of all times is my body acting up like this? It was only moments after I dropped off Nanako at school that the shivers came. I could instinctively hold it back for her sake before but now that I'm alone it's taking me again. Cold shivers in the middle of this sort of humid day doesn't make sense. I took a breath to calm my sick stomach and clear my head. I think I might be having a panic attack or something. I just need to calm down then and let my reservations go. I can't let it get to me today.
Once I got to school I noticed it was rush hour at that gate. There was too many people going in and out. I took a detour towards the hidden gate into the grounds and slipped my way into the hallways passing silently by my fellow students. I noticed a couple guys giving out flyers for something but tried to ignore them.
"Hey, new kid."
Well, I tried.
I turned towards the upbeat tone of voice that came from a guy I recognized from around the school. I've seen him and his friend a couple times already throughout the days that past in the hallway just talking and hanging out. The guy is shorter than I am but four inches, has dark blue almost indigo colored hair, and gray eyes. They're not as grey as mine for they have a bit of blue in them as well. He wore the Yasogami uniform with a second year numeric 2 on his collar like myself. The guy has the cheesiest smile on his lips the made my eyes droop at the thought of conversing with a ball of sunshine like this.
The guy put out his hand. "Hey, I'm Ichijo, Ichiji Kou. Boring name, I know," he said for me earning a couple points. At least he's self-aware. "It's nice to meet cha new kid," the sunny guy said with an easy-going smile on his lips. I rose an eyebrow at him at first before strongly taking his hand to give him a shake. "Whoa!" He suddenly took my hand in both of his and looked down to it like it was a treasure. "You've a good grip and strong hands. Have you ever through of joining one of our sports clubs?" This Kou guy looked back up to me with stars in his eyes. My fight or flight sense were going off and flight was winning right now. That was weird but not the weirdest compliment? I think it was a compliment. Well, it's not the weirdest I've been given by my fellow man. Normally it's girls that tell me I've a good grip and strong hands or sports trainers looking for victims.
"Chill out Kou you're creeping him out." The guy behind him reached out and pulled Kou away from me. Kou groaned and pouted a bit because of it. Weird guy but there's one in every school. His friend with short brown hair, zero to fades on the sides, and brown eyes gave an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that. Names Nagase, Daisuke Nagase. Forgive my friend," the more controlled and less antsy one sighed.
"Narukami Yu. Pleasure." I greeted the two of them.
"Yu huh? Well Yu wanna join the team?" Kou grinned at me probably laughing at his own stupid pun. Not like I haven't her that before. Kou held up a flyer for me to take. Not to be rude, I took the flyer and gave it a look. It seems the basketball team and Soccer teams are looking for members to join. I've never been in a club or team like that before and never really planned to.
"Not really," I denied Kou and held the flyer back up for him to take. That smile of his didn't even falter but instead turned sly same with his eyes.
"Keep it. You'll be back. Guys with your hands always come back," he sounded so confident in that declaration. I frowned at that hand thing being mentioned again. Just what about my hands caught his attention outside of my grip and the calluses maybe.
"You're being weird again Kou. Chill out." The calm one said again.
"You'll see Daisuke!" Kou announced proudly. A couple eyes turned his way but only a moment. I guess his attitude is typical which is at least reassuring he's not treating me special. That'd be really weird. I nodded to the both of them and left to get upstairs to my classroom. I held up the flyer for a moment before folding it and placing it in my pocket. They seem like alright guys and I'm a bit curious.
I yawned and made my way up to my home room. Once I entered I looked around to see Yosuke and the gang. He was a bit paler than I remember but very much alive still. Chie was here but Yukiko was missing. Where did that girl get to now? I slapped my homework on the teacher's desk with the other stacks. King Moron let me have it for a straight five minutes before telling me to sit down. Class was boring like usual with me doing some work on my laptop. I thank my mother everyday for letting me get this. It's very useful for doing my homework and making my portfolio on Shadow Inaba until Chie past me a note. With my work brought to a halt I grabbed hold of the paper to look it over.
'Is Yosuke okay?' I rose an eyebrow and looked towards her. She gestured back and I followed it towards the guy. His eyes were missing that energy from before and he looked empty on the inside that's for sure. I went down a line and wrote 'Not really.' then passed it back. Chie snagged it and frowned then wrote on it again. She passed it back.
'What's wrong with him?' The note read.
I wrote back "A part of him died yesterday." and passed it back.
"Eh!" She gasped loudly after reading it.
"The hell is going on over there!" The teacher yelled, pointing a ruler in Chie's direction. I turned my head to appear the less suspicious party. Worse than that I started to remember that dream from yesterday. I shivered a bit and coughed to clear my head.
"Uh, nothing sir! Sorry." Chie replied swiftly.
"Hmph, well keep it down while I'm teaching Satonaka!"
"Yes sir, heheh." She nervously rubbed the back of her head before returning to her note. She looked towards me but averted my gaze a bit. She frowned and wrote a note then passed it. It read "He looks alive-ish to me."
I sighed and wrote "I'll explain later." I gave her the note which she snagged roughly. She hummed before writing down something more.
"Is it about the midnight channel?"
I read on the paper and nodded my head and passed it back without writing anything. She wrote something else down then give it back to me.
"Need help?" She offered.
I thought on it before nodded a bit more. I could use another fighter. Saki is strong willed and her persona mirrors than. I can tell that Chie is different from most other girls and couple have a strong persona locked away inside. But then comes the risk of her rejecting it and pulling a Yosuke. Once beaten it only dies if hit once more after. Once a shadow is defeated a persona remains if purified. It worked twice over but facing yourself and your hidden feelings isn't easy. Thankfully I'm too good for that but others have to suffer it. Saki did it twice though and seems better off because of it. Maybe this can help.
I wrote on the paper, "I need you Chie." I handed it back to her and nearly smirked at the softer gasp and reddened flush her cheeks equipped. She coughed a bit and tried to compose herself. That dream really did a number on me to come out as bold as I am. She's very easy to pick at as well.
Chie quickly wrote something down and handed it to me. "Okay." She refused to look at me the entire time for the rest of the class. Doing so only made my inner smile grow. She's too easy to tease.
"Isn't she heheh?" the devil on my shoulder giggle profusely. I'm starting to think I should replace her with another persona at some point. Ever since I've allowed the devil into my life I've been doing more teasing and flirting with women than normal. "Mou," the devil being Lilium pouted with puffed out cheeks. She floated in front of me over my desk with an expression that told stories of her annoyance towards my thoughts. I simply shrugged at the being before it faded away but didn't disappear. This devil is a part of me like the others and so will always be with me. I'm beginning to realize that depending on which persona I have "Equipped," for lack of a better word, has the most influence on my actions and thought process. When it was just Izanagi, Pixie, and a couple others things never turned out… untoward when pertaining to these people around me. With these quiet moments in class I had some time to think about the days leading up to this from start to end.
I sighed at the memories flowed through my mind and filled my thoughts. Just a week ago I arrived in this town and for the first couple days things started off normal enough. I met Saki and spoke my mind starting the flags towards her relationship route; a little dating sim language. I got my hands on a sword and went to my uncle's home to settle in. I went to school, didn't bother anyone, met Yukiko and Chie, and stood up to King Moron. Thing didn't really turn to the supernatural and unreal until I heard that talk about the Midnight Channel. I decided to be stupid enough to give it a try and then I lost my memento from the past I couldn't let go. I looked down to my bracelet and pulled it off of my wrist to place on the desk. No one payed me any mind as I untied the knot on the cord and laid out a few of the beads to the kanji side. I moved them around until they lined up reading a single name.
"Misako," I felt my chin drop a bit as the name rang in my ear. My promise to her rang in my ears everyday like a church bell at noon. Her red eyes always contradicted mine at the time and turned out to be my superior in many different fields. I sighed and cleaned up the beads and looped them back through the cord. I miss her so much and her last words to me before it happened are branded into my soul. I'll never forget them being…
Ring Ring…
I blinked and just like that the bell ending the period rang signaling lunch time. I took a breath. The bracelet that probably saved my life and soul rested on my palm with its alternating sided beads looped through the cord. I rubbed them a bit from the reds to blues then greens and finally the rose cord keeping them together. Most would call it girly and would deserve a kick to the chest from me for that. To me, it's as perfect as she was. She became a reason I became happy to be alive until she was taken away from me leaving me devoid of so much. I think Yosuke's empty heart might be like mine, now that I think of it. I quickly collected my things and placed my bracelet back in it's place. A bracelet can be seen as a cuff. A single cuff with a second out there somewhere and an invisible chain linking the two together. I never believed in that nonsense but this town is making a believer out of me.
I finished gathering my things then walked up to Yosuke. The guy sat down quietly with his headphones nowhere to be found on his person. I remember seeing him with them almost all the time outside of yesterday and today. I can understand why because they were a "gift" from his mom to him. With his inner self gone his innermost feelings are probably nonexistent as well. Prior obligations and ties have been severed leaving him a glass half empty and getting emptier. I placed a hand on his shoulder to get his attention away from his desk. He's staring so hard at the desk that it might catch fire from its intensity. He didn't look at me for a time so waited for him to give me his attention. Eventually he blinked and looked up my way.
"Uh," he rubbed his eyes that appeared a shade greyer than before. "Hey dude. What's up?" He tried to sound upbeat but failed.
"Let's get something to eat." I offered in a tone probably duller than his.
"Yeah, sure." Yosuke shrugged. He opened his backpack and swept his arm across the desk taking all his books and writing utensils with it to fall unceremoniously into the bag. The severe lack of care and energy irked me a tad. He may be heartless but could be neater with his affects.
I released his shoulder to let him pack up his bag and zip it up. Once finished he stood up from his seat and gestured for me to lead while he followed. I nodded and we walked into the hallway.
"I'll come with," Chie said quickly and joined us without our input in the matter. I didn't bother respond and simply guided them from the cafeteria to the roof to eat.
Must say, I like the roof. Being high up so I can look down upon these people and properly survey the area. When I'm on top of the mountain I feel I have the advantage no matter the situation. My dad branded these words into my soul telling me to never lose my rightful place at the top. The moment someone stands above you they control you. If they control you they can break you. That only happened to me once, and I'll keep it that way.
I laid my bag down on the roof and grabbed hold of the fence preventing anyone from taking the swan dive and leaned against the gate with some custard bread in hand; lemon crème flavored. I bit into my bread with the other two behind me silently. I'm coming to realize that quiet moments like this are hard to find in this town. There's always something going on and was before I even arrived. I've experience less events a year in a busy capital city than this back water town in the boonies. Events I just happened to be swept along with in the tides.
I felt them behind me, waiting in awkward silence. The two behind me didn't speak to let me eat or whatever they were doing. I didn't need long to finish it regardless.
Chie must've figured that I was preoccupied so turned her attention towards the hopeless fool instead. "So…." Chie turned her body to face Yosuke in an Indian sitting position. "You've been gone a minute huh?"
"Yeah, I was." Yosuke responded dully.
"Why so down? It's only school you big lug." Chie frowned taking note of Yosuke's obvious changes.
"It's… a long story okay?" Yosuke turned away from Chie. Something she didn't like and shown by the evident frown that grow on her face.
"Okay, what part of you died to make you like this?" she worded fed up with Yosuke's attitude. I clicked my tongue at just how abrupt and tactless this girl can be.
I placed my back against the fence and kept eating. I brought a sandwich as well to eat last.
"Like, what happened to you behind that television?" Chie continued ignoring the widening of the questioned guy's eyes.
"What," Yosuke finally showed some sign he's alive in there in the form of shock.
"Yeah. Narukami-kun told me a bit," she pointed me out.
"Dude!" He snapped. "Just why did you do that!" Yosuke barked at me. Anger and shock. He still feels? That's a relief.
"She can help us and you," I put simply. I walked up to them and sat down on a pipe with them on the roofing.
"Yeah, what he said." Chie nodded furiously before adopting a look of confusion. "So, what can I do?"
"Persona," I answered evenly.
"Persona?" They both questioned.
"Yes." I pulled out my laptop and pulled up my many notes on the shadow world I logged in while in class to include the Velvet Room and it's occupants. Though the Velvet room is in a separate tab away from what I needed to show them. Telling them about a magical room with a long-nosed butler and beautiful mature blonde woman would even bring me to pause with disbelief.
Once on the documents app, I shot to the Persona portion then turned it around to a rough drawing of what Izanagi looks like. I'm not very artistic but thankfully I've persona that are. They bestowed some skill to me to speed paint this in the hours of sitting there. Mostly it's just the outlines with some features shown and no color outside of shades black, grey, and white. Still, it's a good place to start.
"Persona is the power of the heart." Chie blinked and gripped her literal heart.
"Not like that," I deadpanned.
"Oh, hehe." Chie chuckled.
"You mean that thing you and Saki-senpai did before? The Stands like in JoJo?"
"I… yes," I shrugged. "They're like Stands from JoJo." And I feel almost strange comparing persona to that anime. I hate JoJo references to death. The Dio ones are like dead horses that people still beat to this day.
"These personas," I changed the slide to a figure I made. A human shape and a ghostly shape. "They come from within but first they start out in the form of our… Shadows; they're crucial part of us we have locked within our hearts given form." By this point Yosuke frowned and turned away.
"Okay? What does that have to do with anything though," Chie asked perplexed.
"Through the portal, in the TV that is, is another world I call the Shadow World. In that world our shadows come alive and become real. Our shadows can become persona which Saki and I fight with."
"Wait what? Whoa, whoa, whoa that's insane." Chie said with her hands up to stop me. "So there's a world behind the TV, in that world shadows are alive that are part of us, they turn into something and fight for us, and you've have been there as well?"
"It's crazy so don't worry about," Yosuke glared at me. "She doesn't need to be involved in this."
"A little too late for that," I deadpanned. "Yosuke, you lost your shadow self, a piece of you. Chie is strong and can get stronger just like Saki." I'm sure anyone that I'm tied to through my supposed links can grow stronger and release their inner selves. Chie would be the heavy hitter if that kick in the past means anything.
"We can save you if…"
"No!" Yosuke denied ferociously taking Chie back from the intensity. "I won't let her risk her life to save mine. This is my fault and I'll face the consequences."
"Brave of you to say but think about us as well." I crossed my arms. "There's places I've explored in the world that have a presence about them. I can explore it and find a way to help you but I need good help. Without it you'll…"
"That's not your choice to make or your right to include anyone else. If I die then I die." The stubborn fool affirmed.
"D-die?" Chie looked horrified at this sudden reveal. "You mean when a part of him died it was that shadow?"
"You told her that too?" Yosuke growled just moments from tackling me.
My shoulders came up in a shrug. "I'm an honest guy," when it's beneficial but didn't say the last part. I need to work on Chie's sense of loyalty. I could see it a mile off and it can work out to my advantage if I play my pieces right.
"Yosuke, if you could die then we have to do something," Chie shot up to her feet. "We can… get that part of you back or something. Right Narukami?"
I said nothing and opted to avert my eyes instead. The memories of that night are fresh in my mind still.
Chie picked up on my silence and the solemnity Yosuke displayed. "Guys? What happened?"
Again, nothing was said.
"Narukami," Chie called bringing my attention back to her. This time I didn't look away from her piercing glare but instead gestured towards the guy still on the floor. She directed an accusatory gaze towards Yosuke. "Yosuke?" she questioned nearly demanding some manner of explanation. Yosuke looked down to the right away from the girl and Chie's eyes widened at this reaction. She whispered, "What did you do?"
Yosuke grit his teeth and clenched his fists. He steeled himself and opened his mouth. "Tell her the truth," I interjected before he spoke. Yosuke grunted. I saw the lie coming a mile off. I know him that well now after all I did live a portion of his life to know how he reacts.
"I stabbed my Shadow Self and killed it." She sighed out roughly.
"Eh!" Chie stepped back in shock. "But… W… Why would you do that!?"
Yosuke sighed and slumped down further. "I look back at it now and think it's more than because of my issues and not Saki-senpai," he said quietly. "I couldn't face the truth, so I destroyed that part of myself." Chie stood awestruck. She didn't know how to respond, and neither would I interject. Chie took those moments of silence to wrack her mind on what that means or could translate as.
"Right now, he doesn't have his other self." I finally spoke to clarify. "And without it he'll die in time," I surmised.
"What? Why?"
"One side can't survive without the other." I answered the fiery girl.
"God Yosuke!" Chie grabbed her hair savagely. "Can't you do something right and not break something for once?" Chie slumped down and hugged her legs with her head down.
"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't… I didn't think… okay?" Yosuke rubbed his hand through his hair to.
"Of course you didn't. You always reap the consequences after the fact when you get caught! Dang it, how could you… what do we do about this? You can't just… die." She muttered the last word in shock like any normal girl would be. She knows Yosuke pretty well from what I've heard too.
"I'll be getting some advice and doing research on this issue for the next few days or so." The attention of both of them rose up to me. "I'll see if we can make this work. It's gonna take all of us. Okay?" I looked between the two of them.
"Yeah, sure partner." Yosuke said emotionlessly. I kicked him in the chest forcing him down to the ground. "Ow. The hell man!" He yelled at me angrily.
"First off, stop being empty." I pointed out before sitting back down on my pipe. "If you act empty you become empty and the heart, aka the shadow side, will fade entirely. You need to stay connected to emotions so I need you to do things that will stimulate your heart. Got it?"
"So you want me to feel? For what?"
I shrugged. "Kingdom Hearts logic says that emotions is a step towards forming a heart and the heart is the beginning of one's creation. Maybe that'll keep you alive long enough to find a solution."
"Kingdom Hearts? Really? You're basing this crop situation out of a video game or something? What if it doesn't work?"
"What do you have to lose?" I countered.
Yosuke grumbled a bit before making his way back down to his butt. "Nothing, I guess."
"Good. Time to face yourself, if not in the Shadow World then this one. You're parents are a good first step." At the mention of them Yosuke scowled. "You need to do this. At least before you go you can get clarification and peace of mind."
Yosuke mused over my words before sighing in admission. "Yeah you're right. I'll try."
"I'll help you if you need it." I offered. Yosuke is going to need help, that's a fact. If what I saw said anything it's that Yosuke is afraid of facing himself and his family.
"You will Narukami? But what do you know?"
"While going through your world I experienced your thoughts, feelings, and some of your memories related to Saki, your mom, and… your dad." I finished off with my stomach dropping at the memory of finding out I, or rather Yosuke, discovering who his real dad was. My stomach dropped further once I saw the expression on his face. He looked to be stuck between rage, sorrow, and relief. I'm not sure how I know this but I do. It's like I can pick out people's emotions.
"So… you know about that too huh? With my dad?"
"Yes."
Hanamura's chin dropped.
"Ah. I'm at a loss." Chie groaned painfully. She even gripped her head and slunk down to make sense of this in her own little world.
"It's fine." I leaned back up to my full height. "Chie," I called out to her. "I need a fighter and you're a fighter Chie. This is a tall order instead of that date I mentioned before so…"
"WHOA!" Yosuke was on his feet, jaw dropped, and hands out to stop me cold. "You guys are dating?!"
"W-w-w-w-wh… I…" Chie looked frantically between the two of us. "No! It's not like that. Its just that before he was telling me he wanted my number and…."
"You gave him your number! I don't even have your number and we've been friends for months," Yosuke whined. "Bro, how are you getting all these girls man?"
Chie flushed redder than before. "Nononono it's not like Yosuke! I gave it to him so call me if he needed help. Nothing more or less." Chie stomped to get her words across.
"Hey, come on it's okay. Narukami is a decent guy, I think. I understand," the headphones guy nodded. He thought he understood the whole situation.
"No, Yosuke listen. Yū why aren't you saying anything?"
"That's the first time you've used my given name," I noted in a bored tone. Chie looked shocked nearing horrified at this. "And what can I say," I asked not at all in this war between them.
"That you weren't serious about taking me on a date!"
"Oh, well I wouldn't mind honestly," I confessed.
"Wha-!" Chie's eyes turned to dinner plates.
"Whoa," Yosuke leaned back.
"I'm an honest guy." I shrugged.
"Y-you'd wanna date me? Like… me?" Chie asked as if this was as impossible a situation as you can get.
"I don't see why not, you're pretty cute, but for now, let's focus on the issue at hand." I got us back on topic from this. I don't see what the big deal about this is.
"Dude, how are you treating this like its nothing?"
I rose an eyebrow. I've caught him looking at her ass a couple times, but I don't see what the big deal about it is. He's intrigued just like I am. I just happen to have the courage to state my intentions while he doesn't. Chie as well was turning every shade of red imaginable as if this was a first for her. You'd think a high school girl, any for that matter, would've been asked out at least once if not the first day of school. When I went to America it was like that.
"So, Yosuke you take care of unfinished business. Chie, can I count on you for help with this?"
"Yeah. Yeah sure…." She squeaked cutely.
"Alright good." I picked up my bag and laptop. "See you guys later." I walked to the door down leaving the both of them to talk in peace. "Oh, Chie." I looked back at the girl. "I'll call you later. I'd like to meet up after school." And by peace, I mean make an uproar because I heard Chie raise her voice the moment I closed the door behind me. My evil internal smirk grew to criminal levels at how easy it was to get under their skin before making my way down the stairs. I'll let the both of them talk a bit after stirring the pot like I did. I got my point across which is all that matters. Girls like Chie are led by their beliefs and if they believe what they're doing is right they'll charge down that path like a raging bull. Yosuke is a follower through and through. He'll listen to what makes the most sense when he fails. He has failed enough to listen to my council. Now I just need to put my plot into action. Even if my Kingdom Hearts stuff doesn't work in time then airing out the laundry will be good for him and me. Knowing Yosuke, he might ruin this still but at least direct attention from me to him primarily.
Ultimately, I don't wish to get burned for this.
I sighed and walked down to the bottom floor. I contemplated whether or not I wanted today to be full of the issues from the Midnight Channel or not. I'd never tell anyone around me this, outside of Nanako today, that I'm exhausted and struggling. I know myself well enough. I'm starting to slip a little and the voices won't shut up. Even in the quiet moments like now the voices persist. The Persona within me are so damn noisy. It's like having a dozen people talking in your ear all at once with speakers that rattle your bones as they resound. If this is what persona is like then Saki must be loving her life right now. That begs the question, does Saki hear her persona and can interact with her like I can? I doubt it but maybe it's something to ask. I know she asked Lady Kitsurobo before to help but it seemed more an inner conversation not outer like in my case.
'Simply tell them to quiet themselves,' came the much-needed advice you'd expect from one of the Empress arcana. I looked up to Yaksini as she leaned over so not to hit the ceiling, if persona can touch anything around me that is. Her two swords still rested comfortably in both hands. A sour look marred her savage yet beautiful visage.
If pixie could know what I was thinking at all times I'm sure a creature of such feminine pride wouldn't see my current thoughts as complementary.
'I do not, little man.' The persona taunted me with an animalist sneer on her lips. The Empress Arcana is so interesting for it's the Arcana my mother would classify as. This persona here even acts like her a bit now that I think of it. My mother is always ready to make any opposition feel like a peasant before her. I guess that's why dad really loves her. I can see the appeal.
'That's much better,' Yaksini smiled down to me, appeased by the sudden shift of my thoughts now. I grew a bit curious though of just why she of all my persona decided to appear to me all of the sudden. I half expected Lilum like usual or maybe Oso. He's a bit of a chatter box because he's been doing the most of the talking in my head compared to the others. 'I've already quiet the Fool and the Magician within. The Strength though seems eager for something,' the almost Amazonian beauty reported. She's actually telling me about my spiritual issues and quieting my persona. 'Have you not realized it's more toned now little man?' I recessed back down into the sea of my soul shocked of what I found or rather heard. It was much quieter now in my head than before.
"Did you do something?" I asked my persona openly, with my voice, in the middle of the hallway with a few people around me. I blinked once I started to hear a couple whispers and walked away ignoring them. Yakshini chuckled a bit as she followed me taking things one large crouched step at a time. I thought of the implications of her earlier report a bit more during my decent to the first floor. She said that the Strength is a little eager implying that persona do have desires. If they have desires then they have thoughts, feelings, and emotions. If they're inside of my soul as well then couldn't that mean that their own wishes could overlap my own or possibly change my disposition towards something? Or maybe their desires are my desires just given voice now according to that Arcana?
'Only, what I desired was to quiet their chatter, little man.' The empress of a persona smirked down to me before equipping her cold and stoic expression she held the first time I saw her. It reminds me of Saki's at times like she's evaluating her current interest on whether or not it's even worth her time. She just cemented my suspicions as well of her having her own wishes, but they're related to that of her arcana. Lilum desires me to fall into my desires and pleasure, Pixie wanted to help me heal and broadened my circle of interactions, Archangel is telling me the rights from wrongs of certain thoughts I have, and even Calypso is here telling me the odds of my choices. I'm so curious about persona and realizing there's more to it than just having a couple monsters, gods, beasts of legend, and omnipotent beings at my disposal for battle and everyday life.
"What about the Strength you mentioned," I asked since she's taking charge of my world or whatever she does.
'Within, the most dominate of us holds dominion over the others as well as whom you have to stand with you. Currently that power is me. An excellent choice, my wielder.' The persona purred approvingly making my back shiver. I felt my cheeks flame and looked away from the being. I've beginning to realize her state of dress as well, wearing nothing but rags covering her private areas, if barely. According to lore the more warrior female beings craved powerful men to bare equally powerful children. The last thing I need right now is to start coming on to myself. That's just weird.
Yaksini chuckled again and followed me outside. She stood to her full height and rolled her shoulders. Being crouched down like that must've been murder on her back and legs. I'm noticing once more that she's tall and intimidating in stature. Her body has marks and scars from great battles and lean but muscular. If she was real I'd say she could pick me up and Frisbee me across a football field if she wanted to.
'Thank you, little man for passage through your palace." She shown her gratitude for me escorting her out the building. I rolled my eyes as the nickname she's persistent to use and sat down at a bench near the track. My dominate and equipped persona stood in front of me giving me a blank stare. It was one that I returned in kind. It was as if both of us were waiting for the other to act first. I blinked and took a breath.
"You can sit down if you want." I'm getting tired of looking up to begin with anyway. She's too tall, being like 7 feet at the least, to be healthy for me to look up to. Yakshini said nothing as she dropped down to her knee. She placed her swords between her legs as she fell down to her rear now only sitting four feet tall instead. A vast improvement to be sure. "So about Strength?" I asked once more.
Yaksini turned her head and spat to the side as if disgusted by what she's about to tell more or thinking about. 'That disgusting savage Rakshasa believes you to be weak.'
"Rakshasa?" I questioned. Who or what was that? To answer this question I reached into my bag and pulled out my laptop to look it up for myself. It took a couple tries because I didn't know how to spell it but soon found what she was talking about. It appears to be some form of demon from Hindu lore and a really 'savage' one as Yashini put. Looking at what it does and represents, I can see why this one would represent the Strength Arcana. It believes me weak as well? That's interesting but nothing too new. A couple have made those assumptions and it never worked out for them in the end.
I closed my laptop and turned off my mobile hotspot before turning my attention back up to find Yaksini literally in my face. Her purple eyes seemed focused on my computer as if trying to figure it out. She didn't even seem to realize that at this angle I have a very modest view of her… modestly sized chest and curves. Her back arch as well is very…
I gulped..
Is this why my dad liked mom this much. If the Empress encompasses what I'm seeing I can't reprimand him for his choices despite the headache. We Seta do love a challenge, or so I've heard.
'Such thoughts.' I blinked and looked up to the disappointed glare from my persona. I felt my cheeks flair but refused to turn away from her. I can't appear weak before her or she'll eat me alive. I need to be honest and stand firm on my actions. Yes, I was checking out the essence of thought in the form of a demon, I'd admit that, and feel no shame for this.
Yaksini narrowed her eyes at me but I returned it with just as much heat. The persona suddenly let out a chuckle before smirking. 'So curious.' She left it at that before taking her place on the ground once more. 'Strength wants to become stronger; you to grow his connection. Make it so and he'll see you as his master,' she finally explained to me leaving me confused.
"Hm," I thought on this. Strength desires to grow stronger; Big shocker that. The question is how to do that. Does he want me to train like I used to? I've leaned away from my martial training and just sustain my body for the most part now. I haven't gotten physically stronger during my time in the Shadow World just spiritually. My pain threshold has improved for sure from getting impaled, burned, frostbitten, cut, stabbed, and bashed into surfaces repeatedly. Healing items and skills restore my body but I don't feel tired or sore from my exploits. That can only mean that while it heals me it doesn't allow my body to grow into the strain. If heal my muscles before they can be grow naturally then I stay the same physically. So maybe he just wants me to get back into it and build my body up. It could help in the shadow world that's for sure after all everything within is altered to include how fatigue works. A little exercise to clear the mind since my music isn't helping.
As I thought this I noticed a couple guys gathering around the sports shed. They looked to be part of the basketball team since they're grabbing racks of them at the moment. I was never that good at the game but I can see the benefits if I do, especially if I can cross those skills into fighting. I remember the two from this morning and frowned. I rose my hands up to see both sides. What did that Kou guy feel to know that I'd be perfect for the sports teams? The guy as well seems like a ball of fun but maybe there's more to him then what I first perceived. Saki as example has layers upon layers which is what you'd expect from a pretty girl like her. Yosuke is deeper than you'd imagine so it's not hard to assume others like him live in this town too. Others like us.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out the flyer from before. It's one for the basketball and Track teams. I hate running long distances so narrows it down pretty well what I'd choose.
I sighed and climbed up to my feet.
'You've made a decision?' Yashini asked still in her spot. With my nod she returned it before fading back away into the recesses of my soul. I rubbed my head as that hole in my heart resurfaced. Pixie would've done the same as her I'm sure. I smothered that thought quickly and walked to the basketball court to check it out. Once I get to the gym I was met with a very familiar face. Two of them in fact.
"Well, well, well… look who came crawling back!" Kou Ichijo grinned at me with his hands on his hips. The triumphant smile on his face was so bright that the sun grew jealous. Kou walked up to me dressed in basketball shorts and a jersey, that smile of his was getting annoying now. "What's up Narukami?"
I held up the flyer for him to see. "I'd like to see what you're all about." I've already committed to this so ride or die.
The guy let out a proud chuckle before waving me in. "Let me show you in." Kou waved down the team. "Alright, gather up!" The members of the team jogged up to Kou and one of them called him captain. This guy is the captain of the Basketball team?
"This is Narukami Yu and he's gonna join us!" Kou announced even though I said no such thing. Again, his confidence is to be admired.
"Yu, this is our team and that is our team manager." He gestured to a girl that was sitting on the bleachers not to far from us and in earshot. She was filing down her nails by the looks of it seeming uninterested in the team and their foolishness. That's the air I'm picking up from her now just like from before. I remember her face well. I never forget the face of a girl as pretty as she's snobby. Now that I'm getting a good look past the elitist attitude I can see her long, wavy blonde hair and matching color eyes. She's prettier than Yukiko by a margin and probably purer than Saki. She's wearing the school uniform of Yasogami High but with a lace fringed choker and white leggings.
"Hey Ai. Come say hi," Kou waved at the girl with a name to the face, finally. Ai simply looked up at me, snorted like a little princess, like I'm not worth her time, and went back to what she was doing. This is why I ignored her completely the first time. Kou chuckled nervously. "Sorry Yu, can I call you Yu?" I opened my mouth to say no but he quickly continued before I could. "Anyway Yu, she's a bit difficult but a nice person. Try to be nice to her. Can you do that for me Yu, buddy? Can I call you buddy?"
"Don't call me buddy," I said trying to keep the strain out of my tone. "And it depends on her."
"That's fair," he nodded accepting my answer. "But lets get too it and see what you got."
"Yeah," I looked around the court littered with balls and sighed. Just what am I getting myself into? I sat down in the bleachers away from that Ai girl and watched Kou as he worked. Even with the very few members he has he's doing a decent job with directing them. He's passionate about the game which awarded him some points in the right direction. The drills he had them do looked tiring but would build my cardio. The many shots and jumps they're taking caught my interest same with the quick moments Kou made to trick or dodge his opponent. Those reactions and quick steps would've came I handy in many of my bouts. Despite Kou being a little annoying I can see there's serious side to him that I'm curious enough experience as long as it builds my body. He's a decent Captain but having trouble motivating the team. I could probably help with that and alternating the drills a bit. Provide a little variety from the norm that's just as effective.
Overall I found the basketball team decent enough, despite its annoying captai. I think I'll stick with it.
At some point before practice was over for the period that Ai girl left. She's not taking this seriously. I bet that Kanji guy I saw would make a better trainer than her. Once this period's practice was finished Kou ran up to me and asked me for my thoughts on the team. I gave him the bare bones answer that I don't see the team winning any more than two games for the season. I told him that their training wasn't enough to go anywhere, and he didn't have enough players. Their motivation was severely lacking to boot. Once finished Kou went silent as he took all this in. He put on a sad smile before looking up to me and said, "I know." I blinked at the suddenly shift of expression. His happy side all but erased leaving a truer version of himself.
"But I'm gonna try and build this team into something great. With you I'm one step close to that!" He closed his fist to me acting all shounen like. "You interested in Joining the team Yu?"
I thought on it and shrugged. "Why not?" Kou grinned at my answer and held his hand up. Before I could take it that Daisuke guy arrived with a track suit on.
"Kou, you done yet? Let's go get some food before next period." Daisuke spotted me in moments and just gave me a glance before turning back to Kou.
"Yeah!" Kou let his hand drop and looked up to me expectantly. I shrugged and stood up. It's still PE period but we've an half hour before the next period to rest. Why not get something to drink at least. "Let's all go."
"Yeah sure. Hopefully he didn't complain to you too much Narukami," Daisuke said to me.
"It wasn't bad."
"Hey, I barely bitched to him at all!" Kou grew defensive. "Tell him Yu!"
"The day you never bitch to anyone will the end of days," Kou's friend returned in a dull tone. I started to like these two. They're interesting in a way. I made sure to put my hands up to show I wasn't in this. But I did feel to be a small part of the group now. It wasn't a bad feeling.
Thou art I… And I am thou… Thou hast established a new bond…
It brings thee closer to the truth.
Thou shalt be blessed when creating Personas of the Strength Arcana…
I blinked and the darkness faded as a bond was established between me and these two. One of Strength.
'Finally…' I heard a ghostly voice behind me and glanced back. I couldn't make out much outside of a mask and red eyes behind him. I picked up the scent of rotten food and blood in the air as the being loomed over me like a crow. 'Grow strong… or I'll eat you.' The persona behind me warned. I felt the inner bastard in me smirk at the prospect of this thing trying anything funny. Still, I plan to get stronger and being part of this team is obviously going to help me get there.
"Y…Yu…. YU!" I blinked. I saw a hand in front of me waving back and forth and caught it. "You zoned out hard Yu, buddy." Kou looked to be worried. "You okay?"
"Yeah," I said quickly. I looked behind me to nothing but empty bleachers. "I'm good."
"Well alright," Kou said not at all sound convinced. "You spaced out hard a moment there."
"I'm fine," I said quickly trying to contain my spite. This guy is so very annoying and hides behind this stupid smile of us. It's practiced and fake, I'd know. I've seen this smile enough in the mirror when I look in one. "It happens when I'm thinking hard."
"Oh," the guy leaned in wearing a foxy smile if I've ever seen one. "Ai left in that direction too." He implied hard that I was watching that girl leave. Kou placed a hand on my shoulder once again evading my personal space again. "You got a thing for her? She's pretty and I'll put in a good word."
"No thanks. I've enough to deal with already," I said pushing his hand off my shoulder. My thoughts went too the girls I've already idiotically committed action towards without thinking straight. Adding anymore, especially a preppy girl like that, would do nothing but cause me later headache. "I'm out of here."
"Okay! I'll do it anyway," Kou smacked me over the back making me grunt. "He's got a thing for guys like you with apathy syndrome!" I could only breathe out hard at this guy's antics. He's trying way to hard to appear upbeat that's for sure. With that done I turned to leave.
"Practice is every day except Thursday and Friday Yu buddy! Keep that in mind!"
I waved back at the guy without turning around and left the gym. Such an annoying guy, but not that bad. He wears a mask most others and maybe it's just another part of my own like others. It makes sense after all. When it comes to strength I act a bit like him, excited and confident, but there's to me than meets the I. He's the same, I can see it. I'm curious to found out more.