A/N: Hello and Happy Saturday yet again! Like I said (and as I knew), this chapter was an absolute doozy to edit, not just because of the word count, but also because I had to heavily alter some of the later bits to fit the mood I was going for in the story. However, that did not deter me in the slightest, and I am still technically on time (though a bit later than usual) in getting this out! Anyways, I hope you enjoy!
Date: July 22, 2025 11:23:01AM PST
Divergence: 1.048596 (Steins Gate)
"Yet another experiment that ends in failure," the 33-year-old Rintaro Okabe threw his hands up in frustration as he analyzed the screen before him. Deep in the recesses of the Viktor Chondria Institute of Neuroscience, he was one of very few who had unrestricted access to the main terminal of one of the world's most advanced creations: Amadeus.
"I don't understand this neurotic obsessiveness you have for this kind of study," a woman entered the room with two coffees in hand as he expressed his frustration. Kurisu Okabe, much like Rintaro, also had unrestricted access to what would be considered her own invention.
She set the coffees down on a nearby table as she spoke. "Changing the foundation of Amadeus for no real reason besides your whim does nothing but serve as stress for Amadeus while you berate it."
"Fear not, Assistant!" the A.I. version of Rintaro Okabe spoke from the terminal. "I can handle the ranting and raving of a madman. After all, it's nothing compared to your ever-present hysterical rage!"
Kurisu's eyes launched daggers from behind her husband towards the camera atop the terminal, making it clear that she was staring into Amadeus' soul. "Please run that statement by me one more time. I seem to have misheard you."
"Fear not, ma'am," [Okabe] rehashed his words. "I can handle the idiocy that emanates from the one whose memories I share. After all, you and your amazing technical and scientific prowess are the reason why I'm able to withstand anything at all."
"Coward," the real Okabe pointed his finger at the camera. "You know as well as I do that we mad scientists never waver in putting our lab members in their place. Don't let Christina's impertinence stand in the way of our grand... vision..."
Okabe's voice trailed off as the menacing aura that Kurisu emanated fully enveloped him. [Okabe], who was stuck in the terminal could only look with wide eyes while the owner of his original consciousness slowly turned around to face his wife. Her arms were crossed, her finger tapping her bicep as the object of her gaze shifted from Amadeus' soul to Okabe's soul. Despite her shorter stature, she watched Okabe begin to shrink from the power of her stare alone.
"So you mean to tell me that the thoughts expressed in the original statement were not a bug, Okarin? You think I'm in an ever-present state of 'hysterical rage'?"
It was a pointed question, one that Okabe had no chance of escaping from because of the hole he dug before anything even happened. No doubt, Amadeus acted just like her husband did in getting a rise out of her, but at least her husband would have probably had the wherewithal to omit the "hysterical" part of the statement. His silent opposition to answering the question that had no right answer only served to slowly twist Kurisu's lips into a smile.
"You already know the consequences now, don't you dear?" she said, her strained smile now complete.
Okabe gulped, nodding his head. After nearly five years of marriage, he should have known the consequences all too well.
"Enlighten me, what were they again?" she cocked her head, her eyes still staring into the depths of his soul.
"You truly don't intend on having me list them out..." Okabe tried to protest, but the hiss that came out of Kurisu's nose merely served as confirmation of her demand disguised as a question.
"I'm in charge of cooking everything until all is forgiven," he began listing out the consequences and continued to do so at each nod of his wife's head. "I can't be Hououin Kyouma around the kids until all is forgiven. I can't spend any of our money on building any more future gadgets until all is forgiven. I can only refer to you as 'my darling wife' until all is forgiven. I must give you backrubs at your behest until all is forgiven."
Kurisu listened to Okabe list all the consequences, which she knew he was relatively okay with. He usually cooked most of the dishes; Reina and Haruki were already beginning to develop their own mad scientist personas at their young age; he hadn't started a future gadget project in recent months as he was too engrossed in his current project with Amadeus; and the lovey-dovey stuff that she demanded of him would be done at the drop of a hat if she ever asked. She only ever found the occasion to ask for extra whenever she was "punishing" him. She watched Okabe's satisfied expression remain where it was as he moved to face Amadeus. There was no doubt that he thought about how easy he got off, but the uncomfortable silence that still permeated throughout Amadeus' Control Room forced him to pause. He turned his gaze back toward his wife who still looked down on him.
"And?" Kurisu broke the silence with the most damning clarifying question of the day.
"Please, no," Okabe began to beg for mercy as he knew just what she was thinking. Whenever she tacked this onto the list of consequences, it was when he knew that he was truly in trouble.
"Oh, yes," Kurisu whispered back at Okabe. "Say it."
"...No sex or activities related to it until all is forgiven..."
Kurisu immediately perked up and the strained smile turned into a legitimate one. "Perfect! I'm glad we're on the same page now."
Okabe slumped his shoulders. Sure, they didn't do it as often as when they first started dating given that they had children now, but she knew that it was still something for him to look forward to every now and again. He ripped that opportunity out of his own hands for the foreseeable future.
He began to point an accusatory finger at the one who started it all. "This is your fault you damned traitor."
In response, [Okabe] merely shrugged his shoulders. "I may have started us down the path, but let it be known that your follow-up comment cemented your fate."
Okabe grumbled something incomprehensible in response, slouching his shoulders as he crossed his arms like an angry child.
"Anyways," Kurisu brought everyone's attention to her. "Back to the original topic at hand. Why are you bothering with this study? I get that scientific curiosity is good and all, but to alter Amadeus' codebase with this destructive quantum interference algorithm you came up with would only damage what we've created. Your thesis gave us the route to perfect memory recall, why are you trying to change it?"
Kurisu could very easily find out if she interrogated [Okabe] while he was in emergency bypass mode, but the amount of trust that she would lose with her husband was a reality she never wanted to face. She knew just how protective Okabe was of some of his secrets and there would be no way that Kurisu would forgive herself for trying to pry them out of him when he wasn't ready.
"Call it a safeguard," Okabe responded. "It's just a personal endeavor. I backed up the original codebase so that it doesn't get affected by what I'm doing."
"Okarin, if I knew more about what exactly it is you're safeguarding, I'm sure we can alter Amadeus' parameters more accurately. In case you forgot, Senpai and I were the ones who optimized the algorithms you gave us. If there's anyone who can make proper changes to the foundation, it would be us."
Kurisu was certain that Maho would be willing to help Okabe at the drop of a hat. Much like herself, Maho felt like she owed so much to Okabe for providing the critical algorithmic solutions that perfected Amadeus' Memory Storage Unit - the final piece of the puzzle to get the A.I. in a fully functional state. There was a lot that they let Okabe get away with when it came to Amadeus only because of this fact.
"I don't want you to spend any more time than you already are on a whim of mine, my darling wife," Okabe was already keeping true to the consequences laid upon him. "If I can't figure it out, then so be it. It's just a thing I'm testing with Reading Steiner, is all."
Kurisu glanced at Okabe in surprise as he shut down [Okabe] and began looking at the code within Amadeus. It was the first time he opened up about the true nature of the experiment besides it being "just a whim."
"Are you trying to unlock the memories from the worldlines you jumped into back then? Why would you put yourself through that?"
"No, nothing of the sort," Okabe was quick to refute her assumption. "Again, all I'm willing to say is that it's a safeguard that pertains to my Reading Steiner. I hope that's okay with you."
Kurisu didn't like it when Okabe was secretive like this. She knew about some of the traumas he was forced to go through while he was lost on the Alpha Worldline and how lonely he must have felt. She did her best to be there for him, but no one - truly no one - could ever relate to Okabe and his pain because he never willfully opened up about it. This was the one part of Okabe that she could never reach as he always shut down any potential conversation that could be had regarding what happened in 2010.
However, she knew better than most that once Okabe set his mind on something, he was going to see it through. She had faith that whatever endeavor this was, he would get the answer he was looking for.
She placed a tender hand on Okabe's shoulder as he typed into the terminal. At her touch, Okabe glanced up at her, a sheepish smile creasing his face. He grabbed her hand with his left and planted a kiss on it. "I promise I won't let this take away from our time together. Especially not with your birthday coming up."
As proof of his sincerity, he immediately dropped the Hououin Kyouma persona and wooed her with the sincere act of kissing her hand. She hated just how much this man made her heart flutter with just the simplest of actions.
"If you need any help Okarin," she said as he turned back towards the terminal and began shutting it down. "Please know that I'm here. You have many tools still at your disposal."
"A tool, you say?" Okabe cackled like an immature idiot. "I'm glad that my beautiful and indulgent Assistant knows her place in my- ow."
His comments quickly earned him a chop to the top of the head. "I wonder sometimes how I let myself get married to you."
"Well, you've always called me a charmer," he replied, fully turning his attention away from the terminal for once and facing her. "Or maybe, deep beneath that little veneer of loathing, you actually like it when I tease you like this."
His sincere smile twisted into an impish grin.
Emotions swirled within her as she attempted to grasp what he said. She heard the words, understood them, but for some reason they weren't being processed. Her genius mind kicked into high gear trying to find a rational way to refute Okabe's statement, but every logical means of approaching the topic was only met with the conclusion that his hypothesis was correct. She couldn't give him the credit. She had to find a way to turn the tables.
"Or maybe," she leaned down into his ear to whisper. "That dick of yours was just too good to let any other girl have."
At her statement, Okabe's ears immediately turned red. She herself would normally be embarrassed at what she said, but anything was better than admitting to her husband that she liked it when he teased her the way he did. All she could do was return the favor.
"W-wha...What," Okabe was incredulous as he shifted in his seat. "Christina - my darling wife - you can't just say things like that in the workplace!"
His words came out like a hiss, but she knew his other brain was getting excited. He tried to reach out and grab her, but she immediately slapped his hand.
"Oh no you don't, pervert," she tutted. "You're still not forgiven."
The anguish on his face was very apparent. "I could never imagine you to be this cold and mischievous."
"14 years of being in a relationship with someone like you will inevitably force a woman like me to learn how to fend for herself," she replied. "Anyways, you have a class to teach in 30 minutes, I think it's high time you go prepare for it."
"I was already way ahead of you," Okabe replied as he got everything in his bag in order.
He worked past Kurisu to grab his coffee from the table and then quickly placed a peck on her lips. "Thank you for the coffee, my love, but I must be off."
"Yeah, yeah," she said. "Go save the minds of our youth Hououin Kyouma-san."
"As if!" he retorted on the way out the door. "What kind of mad scientist wouldn't poison the minds of such impressionable young subjects?"
All Kurisu could do was chuckle to herself as her husband left the room. However, before she could get up to go to her own workstation, he quickly popped his head back through the door.
"Thank you for what you said earlier, my love. Just know that what you do for me is massive help as-is, so I couldn't ever hope to ask for more from you. Just keep supporting me the way you have been."
He winked at her then his head disappeared once more, leaving a very flustered Kurisu in her seat. She placed her face in her hands to combat the warmness that was invading her cheeks.
For the first time in the history of their relationship, Rintaro Okabe would be forgiven for his crimes within the hour of committing them.
Date: November 14, 2036 7:46:01AM PST
Divergence: 1.048596 (Steins Gate)
It was a rather quick shower for Okabe. Being used to the need to conserve water on the Beta Worldline whenever they even got the chance to bathe, he became very efficient at cleaning himself even if he was initially thrown off-kilter by how advanced the shower itself seemed. It was one knob that controlled the amount of water that flowed out of the shower head and right next to the knob was a waterproof touchscreen that could be used to control the temperature of the water. Figuring out such a system probably cost him 30 seconds max of an overall two-minute shower.
However, as soon as he stepped out, he could hear Kurisu scream "I don't know anything right now…!"
He could only assume that their children were grilling her about his current condition - their apprehensiveness entering full-swing as they witnessed a breakdown he never wished to have in front of anyone. His heart was pierced with guilt the moment he heard Kurisu's cry, however he steeled himself and grabbed his phone from his nightstand before disappearing back into the bathroom. Thankfully, the phone accepted facial recognition as a pass key, so he didn't have to guess his own password. Once unlocked, he quickly swiped through it, trying to find the one thing he felt could make or break the day. His eyes then landed on the Amadeus app, his breathing coming to a stop. He thumbed the icon to open it.
It took a couple moments, but soon after booting it, Amadeus' black background came into view. A few more moments and his target materialized on the screen. Dressed in a white button-down, a loosened tie, and a lab coat, was the spitting image of himself. The man on the screen slowly opened his eyes in the same computer-like fashion as his digitized consciousness was booting up, however Okabe recognized the moment everything was fully booted and spoke into the phone before his A.I. self could speak.
"Answer me now and earnestly," his voice was grave. "Do you remember saving Makise Kurisu on July 28th, 2010?"
[Okabe]'s eyebrows furrowed at the sudden seriousness with which he was regarded. "Yes…? Did I miss one of your experiments or did you wipe my memory banks again to toy with your Reading Steiner?"
Okabe's heart skipped multiple beats as he exhaled very deeply. In spite of Reading Steiner's activation, Amadeus' memories were preserved. In the middle of the pause in the conversation, he heard a pair of footsteps rush into the room before very quickly exiting. His eyes locked onto the phone's camera as he spoke.
"Reading Steiner activated," he quickly explained. "I'm the one who sent you the video D-Mail back then. I need your help."
[Okabe]'s face very rapidly cycled through different emotions at the words that his flesh-and-blood self spoke. However, in the end, resoluteness was the emotion he landed on.
"Lead the way."
Date: November 14, 2036 8:04:20AM PST
Divergence: 1.048596 (Steins Gate)
Okabe handed his wife a glass of water while she propped herself up on the couch. The morning was non-stop ever since she woke up, so for her sake, it was decided that everyone wait for her to fully recover before she continued to speak with Amadeus. In the meantime, Okabe handed his phone to the twins who very quickly took their A.I. father with them down the hall and disappeared into Haruki's room. The way they regarded him hurt him in many ways, but the least he could do was be understanding of their plight. For the time being, he hadn't proved himself to be their father the way he proved to Kurisu that he was the same man that she loved.
"I'm sorry," Kurisu sniffled, still trying to recover from her breakdown. "I wish I was stronger."
Okabe scoffed and kneeled in front of his wife in the same way that she kneeled in front of Haruki earlier in the morning. "You're setting an impossible standard for yourself, my dear Assistant. No one - no one - could have handled this whole thing with as much grace and willpower as you have. To be able to be this way while the love of your life has effectively become a stranger is nothing short of amazing."
Kurisu looked up, once again getting a sense of déjà vu from the words that Okabe chose to speak. Once again, she got a flash of her husband before reality settled back into place within an instant. There were so many things about the man before her that made her think she never lost the person she loved, but there were just as many things that served as a painful reminder that he couldn't be any more different. At the surface level alone, her husband never chose to wear all-black except for if he ever attended funerals, like the one held for his father when he passed away at the onset of the 2030s. Yet here he sat, using that outfit as if it were a regular part of his wardrobe.
"You are such an enigma, Okabe Rintaro," her eyes couldn't meet his as she took a sip of her water.
"If Hououin Kyouma weren't an enigma, The Organization would have already had me in their clutches by now," he replied, letting out a cackle. "How would they predict my next move if not even my own Assistant can?"
Okabe tried his best to raise her spirits in his own way. He knew that the shortcut to doing so would be to get her face-to-face with Amadeus who contained all the memories she longed for him to have, but if she didn't see him for him, there would truly be no point in any part of his current consciousness staying on the worldline. He didn't want to give up on the hopes that his Steins Gate self had about potential co-existence. However, less than a day passed since his jump and his children already rejected him, and his wife was struggling in her own way to support him as much as she could.
Kurisu smiled, letting air blow out of her nose. He took the time in the silence to properly admire her features since there was daylight. Her chestnut-colored hair still shone as vibrant as it did when he first met her in 2010 with not a single gray strand in sight. It was much shorter, its longest point only barely reaching past her shoulders. He found this haircut infinitely more attractive as it only served to accentuate her soft facial features. She had a few smile lines that only became prominent when she did smile, but otherwise she was blemishless.
The main difference between the face that he remembered in 2010 and the face before him now was that the passive intensity it contained had softened towards nonexistence. However, based on his interactions with her the night before, he knew she could pull out that same intensity at any moment. He admired her similarly petite form, covered by a slim pair of blue denim jeans and a plain pink blouse with a white cardigan - a casual outfit for a casual Friday. From these observations, Okabe felt that for all intents and purposes, Kurisu looked much younger than 44-years-old.
When that thought crossed his mind, he immediately remembered the problem he partially considered on his return trip from 18000 BCE before forgetting about it altogether. The moment he shifted out of the Beta Worldline, his body was technically that of a 35-year-old, yet here he was at 44 years old… or was he?
"Am I 44 this year, Kurisu?" Okabe's sudden question surprised Kurisu, her eyes focusing back on him.
"Yeah… it's still 2036 like it was in the Beta Worldline where you came from," Kurisu answered hesitantly. "Why do you ask?"
Okabe shook his head. The prospect of him and his Steins Gate self both being men out of time was now objectively crossed out as a possibility. Did it have to correspond with how old his mind felt? Given he saved Kurisu in 2010, his past self never would have had to experience the multiple-thousand time-leaps needed to get back to 2011 from 2036. Was that where he gained the years? That was the only viable hypothesis he had.
"Okarin?" Kurisu knocked Okabe out of his train of thought.
"It's nothing important. Don't worry," he tried to wave her off, but it only seemed to fuel her curiosity even more.
"I've lived 25 years with a husband who kept a significant chunk of this worldline business to himself," she said, setting her water on the table beside the couch and staring intently at him. "I let it go because I didn't want to pressure you into reliving any of your traumas from the Alpha Worldline, but seeing as your secrecy kept me from knowing this could happen until the last minute, I'd like to start being in the know about things for once. Even if it's innocuous."
When she remarked about "this", she gestured toward Okabe as if he were some unwanted object. He was sure she didn't mean it that way, but it sure felt like it.
All Okabe could do was sigh. He was sure that his past self had his reasoning for not letting Kurisu know too much about Attractor Field Theory, but to keep things as barebones as he did with her was a step much too far even for his current self. The only reason why he survived the Alpha Worldline was because she helped shoulder the burden with him - he should have been able to trust her to do that in Steins Gate as well.
"You're right," he started, finding his seat right next to her on the couch. "This amount of information should have never been kept from you to begin with. I promise I'll explain everything I know to be true for both versions of myself once the kids are done with Amadeus, but for now I'll answer your current question."
Kurisu's eyes widened in surprise. She must have not been expecting the whole truth when all she asked for was an answer to his admittedly weird question. He began his explanation, going into more specifics regarding the aftermath of Operation Altair - the operation to save Mayuri and Suzuha. He explained that, at most, he should have been displaced from the timeline by a few months, but due to complications on Valkyrie's end thanks to the New Government's persistent meddling, his rescue was delayed by nine years. He watched as Kurisu began to piece together where exactly he was going with his question, and then she covered her mouth.
"So you're saying that you're nearly 10 years younger than me mentally?" the tone of her voice was hard to read for Okabe. He knew she would have found it unbelievable, but he didn't know if she was about to burst out laughing or burst into tears.
"Now, I wouldn't rush to say that," he said. "There were a lot of things that happened for me that I know didn't happen for my previous self."
He spoke about the memory-data that was stored in the time-leap machine when one of his initial jumps to try and save Mayuri and Suzuha in 2011 failed - how that data was used to revive his mind in 2036 after he was deemed brain-dead via the New Government's torture in 2025. When he was forced to see the horrible state of the world first-hand, he decided then and there that he had to change all of it and time-leaped all the way back to 2011 - a journey that took him about 3000 leaps to complete.
Kurisu was entranced with Okabe's story. Her hand had absentmindedly fallen to her side, mouth slightly agape as she took in the information that would have been kept from her if Okabe's past self were inhabiting his body. A part of her felt grateful and a slight-bit giddy that this Okabe was much more willing to talk about the things that made her husband feel so out-of-reach at times.
"I know the timing of it all doesn't exactly add to 10 years," he admitted. "But the stress I put my mind through at the time more-than-likely aged me even more. That's the only explanation I have. However, I do have to admit, there's quite a bit more tightness and back pain in this body than the one I left behind in the Beta Worldline."
Kurisu giggled at Okabe's admission. "Unfortunately, our glory days are well behind us, darling."
"Whatever do you mean?!" Okabe placed his hand on his chest in faux indignation. "I'm a 35-year-old in the prime of his life!"
"You can't just give me that whole story about how you're probably the same age as your past self mentally, just to take it back like that!" Kurisu's own indignation seemed very much real as she smacked Okabe on the top of his head with one of the couch's throw pillows. "Saying it like that makes me sound like some kind of cradle-robber."
She crossed her arms and let out a sigh. For the first time since arriving on Steins Gate, Okabe felt himself relax and feel nostalgia course through him at the sight of Kurisu's frustration. This nostalgia pushed him to continue his teasing.
"If you think about it, you were already well on your way to being a full-blown scientist while I was still in my mother's womb," Okabe grinned as Kurisu processed what he was saying. "If anything, you're much more than simply a cradle—"
He was interrupted by more beatings with the pillow. He raised his arms in defense, but even with these efforts, Kurisu managed to circumvent them and cycled her attacks between his head and torso.
"That's enough on this topic!" she said mid-beating. "I hate that you managed to keep that stupid attitude of yours despite your loss of memories."
She calmed down her attacks, wiping a bead of sweat from her forehead and took a drink from the water that she left on the table beside the couch. Okabe jumped at the opportunity that presented itself.
"If you've been in a relationship with me for 25 years, that can only mean that deep-down you actually like being teased like this, Christina."
Kurisu's eyes snapped back at him, but the reaction she gave was not one that he was expecting. A grin that rivaled his own formed on her face and she got uncomfortably close to his ear to whisper.
"Or maybe," he could feel her warm breath tickle his ear with every syllable spoken. "That dick of yours was just too good to let any other girl have."
Every sort of thought process within Okabe's head came to a full stop. He tried his very best to make sense of the words spoken to him, but his brain was short-circuiting as the image that his wife painted was the only thing he could think about. His lips began to move to form their own words, but with his brain not operating on the same page, all he could do was stutter incoherent thoughts. He felt his face get redder and redder — control of the situation slipped further and further away from him.
Kurisu simply laughed at his struggles. It was the first true laugh of delight he heard escape her lips in a long time. That laugh in itself was enough to help him mostly recover from the psychological attack she just put him through.
"I-I don't know what you're laughing at, Assistant," he tried to regain control, gulping down his stutters as best he could while Kurisu closed the distance with him once more. "O-Of course I knew about that… we're… we're husband and wife after all! How else would we have our children?"
"Oh, do tell, Hououin Kyouma," Kurisu grabbed Okabe's chin and turned him towards her, her lips mere centimeters away from his and her eyes piercing into his very being. "Would you like to know the exact details about the night we conceived the twins? It was such a passionate one."
Mission failure. Whatever composure he regained in his half-hearted attempt to fight back was lost. His wife beat him thoroughly - though she had home-field advantage to work with. He couldn't even blubber out a thoughtless reply, he was completely stunned. Kurisu let out a satisfied smile, her eyes twinkling due to her absolute victory over her husband - a type of victory that was a rarity for her to achieve. Having gotten the outcome she wanted, she let his chin go and re-opened the distance between them. To cleanse him of his current debuff, she ruffled his hair - an effective reset button!
"Since when did you get so good at fighting me with my own methods?" Okabe asked, rubbing the chin that was very squarely in her hands moments prior. "The 18-year-old you would have been satisfied with simply berating me."
"Well that was how things usually went when we were younger," Kurisu's eyes flitted upwards in reminiscence of the past. "But as the years went on, I simply found that the most effective method of shutting you down was to beat you at your own game."
A "Huh" of acknowledgement escaped Okabe's lips as he processed what Kurisu said. He knew she wasn't completely immune since he got a taste of what she was like in the past with the whole age-gap discussion, but now he knew he had to tread carefully lest he step on a trap she'd set for him.
Kurisu eyed her husband in the midst of his processing, her own emotions in a tumultuous swirl. She so desperately loved the man before he lost his memories. However, this conversation alone was beginning to force her to see this man before her in a different lens. He was more open with her - more vulnerable, and yet he still retained that same devious personality that always challenged her - and allowed her to use old retorts to the same effect. This was no longer about trying to see her husband in this man. She could actually feel something form deep within her heart for the man as he was. It wasn't enough to override her love and devotion to the lost memories of her husband, but now she felt that if she lost this version of Okabe, she'd lose the one chance she had to meet him at his level. She truly hoped that they were on the right track with Amadeus.
While the couple were lost in thought, their children slowly emerged from the hallway with Okabe's phone in Haruki's hand. Their expressions were solemn as they silently made their way to where Okabe was. Okabe eyed the both of them cautiously - as much as it hurt to do so - still operating on the knowledge that they didn't exactly consider him their father. However, before he could consider all the possibilities of why they approached him the way they did, they tossed themselves into his torso and clung onto him tightly.
"I'm sorry, Papa," Haruki was the first one to speak. "I'll try harder to get through this whole thing with you and Mama."
"Same here," Reina followed. "I'm sorry for calling you 'that guy'."
"That guy?" Okabe was confused at Reina's apology, but he didn't bother trying to ask for clarification. Instead, he wrapped his arms around his children, rubbing their backs. He looked over at Amadeus who was now sitting on Kurisu's lap since Haruki handed her the phone before latching himself onto Okabe. [Okabe]'s arms were triumphantly crossed, a grin on his face as he watched the situation before him. Okabe's eyes then flitted up towards Kurisu who, despite her tempered reaction, seemed to radiate so much happiness at what she saw.
"Apologies accepted, little ones," Okabe said to them both. "For now, let us consider this a plot from The Organization that we must foil. A true chance to show the world the terrifying power of Hououin Kyouma and his Twin-Star Scientists as we work to recover my lost memories."
"I'm glad that you can still be 'Boss' even without your memories," Reina laughed, letting go of him. "I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't be Amaterasu Kiyoko with you."
"Arakawa Masamune would also be inclined to agree," Haruki followed his sister's actions. "Let's show The Organization that we're a trio that shan't be trifled with."
Okabe smiled. Whatever Amadeus said to the kids was incredibly effective and he couldn't have been any more grateful. However, he still had gripes with the man responsible for the memories that the A.I. contained. Free from the clutches of the twins, Okabe got up from his spot and swiped his phone from Kurisu's lap.
"You and I will have a talk later," he said, his face and voice stern. "For now, know that you have my gratitude for helping me this morning."
"Wait, wha-" [Okabe] tried to protest, but the app was swiftly closed and the phone was turned off.
Putting the phone back in his pocket, he beckoned his shocked children to sit on the couch beside their mother. They obliged, their hesitance of him returning.
"It's been made clear to me that there have been some secrets left unsaid by the Papa you all knew," Okabe began explaining. "This was not something I thought would happen in the aftermath of Operation Skuld, and I'd like to apologize on my own behalf for having kept these secrets from my own flesh and blood for as long as I have."
Okabe paced back and forth as he spoke, commanding control of the room. He knew that he was about to open what his other self considered Pandora's Box, but if he was to rally everyone together to help him, he needed to explain everything. In the back of his mind, he didn't know if he'd be able to keep his composure as he recalled his summer from hell on the Alpha Worldline, but there was no way he could continue keeping his family - much less Kurisu - out of such a formative part of his life.
"What I'm about to share with you all is the true story of Hououin Kyouma from the moment Mama and I first met on July 28th, 2010 to when I saved her on that same day. This is the story of the world's only known Observer, the only one whose consciousness can travel across worldlines… This is the story of how I sacrificed everything to save the ones I loved…"
He looked at Kurisu as he spoke that final line. His "everything" was her. In the end, he was glad he could get her back, even if it was 26 years later. Kurisu returned his gaze with a determined look. While she knew a redacted set of events, the full story was all she sought to coax out of her husband for years on end and here she was on the cusp of it. His children on the other hand, looked at him with a sense of wonder, eating up every word he spoke.
Okabe began to tell his story, starting it all off with the moment when a young Kurisu Makise pulled him out of Dr. Nakabachi's Time Machine Press Conference mid-lecture.
Date: November 14, 2036 9:19:08AM PST
Divergence: 1.048596 (Steins Gate)
"...And that is how I put together Operation Skuld, the completion of which was overseen by my other self as he was able to successfully save Mama on July 28th, 2010 without breaking the laws of convergence."
Okabe scanned the couch for his audience's reactions. He tried to cover every base, every emotion felt, every minute detail possible. It was something he felt that he owed to his family for keeping them in the dark for so long. His eyes landed on the children first who were in the act of wiping tears from their eyes and applauding their father for the tale he told, as if he had just finished reciting some epic. Kurisu, on the other hand, was much harder to read. She was looking in his direction, but he knew she wasn't looking at him. She held a contemplative pose, her hand covering her mouth in the shape of a fist and rubbed her upper lip as she processed his story. He didn't know just how much his past self shared about that summer with Kurisu, but he knew for certain it wasn't at the same level of detail with which he spoke.
There were moments within the story that he nearly broke, especially when he began to recount Mayuri's countless deaths, but he soldiered through and his family was gracious enough to give him all the time he needed to explain everything. Now, his stress transitioned from trying to get through his retelling of the summer of 2010 without breaking to gauging how exactly his wife would react. While waiting for Kurisu's reaction, he began fielding questions from his children.
"So Big Sis Suzu was the one who helped you in both worldlines. Was she like your friend since you were the same age?" Reina was the first one to ask.
"Indeed," Okabe replied. "She was an especially massive help in my timeline of events on the Beta Worldline… albeit a little more of a threatening friend to work with…"
He kept the story to the Alpha Worldline and the details of Operation Skuld, but if questions forced him to open up about his own experience on the Beta Worldline, he was more than happy to answer them.
"What was worse: dealing with SERN or dealing with World War III?" Haruki asked in turn.
"Both had their demerits," Okabe began, not really thinking about comparing the horrible futures of either worldline. "In the Alpha Worldline where SERN was in control, it just felt like my every move was being watched. They had the help of worldline convergence, but for much of that time, it seemed like they knew what move I'd make before I even made it. The Beta Worldline on the other hand…"
Okabe's voice trailed off as he thought of what to say. He was in the Beta Worldline for much longer than the Alpha Worldline so everything he bore witness to in that worldline took a much more prominent spot in his head.
"...It was Hell on Earth because of the time machine race," he simply stated. "I would hate to choose between both, but I guess I'd rather deal with a dystopian overlord than a lawless world held together with the societal equivalent of shoestrings and duct tape called the New Government."
"I would have said the same thing!" Haruki yelled gleefully, happy to know that they agreed on a stance.
The children were very innocent. It was one thing to discuss hypotheticals, but he knew that both worlds were hells he would never want them to have to endure. As much as he preferred SERN to the New Government, it was like saying one preferred being drowned versus being burned alive - two outcomes that lead to death in their own way. However, now in Steins Gate, these questions would only remain hypotheticals, so Okabe just smiled at Haruki's response.
After a couple more innocuous questions, the twins turned to each other and began speaking about the highlights of Okabe's story, all while Kurisu still stewed in her thoughts. As they did so, Okabe felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. He pulled it out to see who could possibly be calling him only for him to feel his mood diminish and his annoyance increase. The caller ID on the display was none other than Amadeus, no doubt his A.I. self getting impatient since it had been nearly an hour since he was abruptly hung up on. He figured that now was a better time than any to address his issues with his other self.
"If you'll excuse me, I need to take this call," he said without much pushback thanks to the twins now being fully engrossed in their own discussion and Kurisu still remaining silent.
After a quick foray down the hall and back into the master bedroom, he answered the phone. When Amadeus fully booted up, he saw the same figure clad in white appear on the screen with his arms folded, his eyebrows twitching, and a clenched jaw.
"What's the bright idea? Use me for your schemes in making my children like you only to shut me down once I helped you do your dirty work?" It was a very pointed accusation from [Okabe], one that Okabe knew he would make if he was bickering with someone.
"It seems like you forgot a couple important details in your bitterness my dear self," Okabe spat his words back at Amadeus. "I told you we'd speak in due time, and that you very much had my gratitude for what you did. As it stands, now seems to be that 'due time'."
"And that 'due time' only came because I called you," [Okabe] was especially snappy. "What were you even doing for the past hour?"
Okabe felt a sense of undeserved entitlement coming from his A.I. self. He wasn't angry at the man for keeping just about everything secret from his family, but he was definitely irritated. If he were placed in his other self's shoes, he would have opened up just about immediately about everything. Without that vulnerability, just how genuine was his relationship with Kurisu?
"I was busy telling our family everything you neglected to tell them," Okabe's eyes narrowed into the phone's camera as he tried to crush Amadeus' entitlement with his words. "Makise Kurisu was our savior and our support in the Alpha Worldline. She had the right to know everything that occurred on that worldline so she could continue supporting you while you dealt with the memories of that hell."
[Okabe]'s arms unfolded themselves and his face went pale while Okabe spoke. "You didn't…"
A "Huh?!" instinctually left Okabe's lips the moment Amadeus voiced his rejection of what he did. His irritation slowly began boiling into anger at the sight of the dumbfounded expression that was now on the A.I.'s face. He felt his free hand begin to shake from the bottled rage.
"That suffering was supposed to just be meant for us…" [Okabe]'s voice was a quiver. "...Why would you drag our family into it…?"
"I'm not dragging them into anything, [Rintaro]," Okabe's voice was firm. "The Alpha and Beta Worldlines are well and truly behind us. They - especially Kurisu - deserved to know what was within the heart of Okabe Rintaro from the start."
"But what if this knowledge makes Kurisu or the kids interested in time machines? What if they drag us back into those worldlines and we lose them all over again in the process?" [Okabe] began to ramble, listing hypotheticals that came with the total revelation of Attractor Field Theory. "We needed to keep that to ourselves. We needed to suffer through those memories and those experiences as much as we could by ourselves. You know what they're capable of! The more they know about time machines, the more we risk going back!"
Amadeus was inconsolable. Okabe himself considered the things that the A.I. was saying in the back of his mind as he told his full story. However, he himself ascertained that there was no risk because, even if it had only been less than a day spent on Steins Gate, he knew he could trust his family to not pursue the dangers of time travel simply by asking.
"Have you learned nothing of trusting your loved ones?" Okabe was disappointed with his other self. "We wouldn't be where we are without our friends - without Kurisu. When we tried to carry the burden of saving Mayuri on our own, we failed time and time and time again. Tell me [Rintaro], how much damage did you do to yourself in that process? I sure as hell remember. As a matter of fact, enlighten me, when was it that we felt like we could actually break out of that vicious cycle? It was when Kurisu saved us of her own accord, was it not?"
"I-" [Okabe] wanted to continue fighting, but Okabe cut him off.
"She deserved to know. She earned that right the moment she sacrificed herself to save Mayuri."
[Okabe] grit his teeth into a grimace, still stubbornly opposed to whatever Okabe had to say. It was almost like nothing could convince him that he was in the wrong. In the middle of the conversation, he heard the slight creak of the door from the bedroom begin to open, however at this point he didn't care who was listening in on the conversation.
"Makise Kurisu and her work on the time machine was the reason why the Alpha and Beta Worldlines came about," [Okabe]'s words came out with ardent aggression, no longer a scared quiver. "I needed to make sure that she never got back to redoing her theory. I had to do whatever it took to keep us from going back, even if it meant obfuscating the part of our life that made us fall for her in the first place."
The last sentence spoken snapped the last bit of patience that Okabe had with his past self. His eyes flared open, his heart began to beat out of his chest, and his peripheral vision dimmed until the only thing he could see was the screen in front of him.
"I did whatever it took to get us to this worldline!" Okabe's fury erupted into a verbal lashing. "You know nothing of what I had to do to get the pieces together for you to save Kurisu! You know nothing of the people I had to sacrifice in the hopes of saving them again here in Steins Gate. You had to do whatever it took to keep us from going back? You must be even more delusional than what I initially took you for! Operation Skuld set everything up so that we never risked falling out of Steins Gate after its completion. All you had to do was tell the truth for why things should or shouldn't be done, but no."
Okabe pointed a finger at the camera. "You lied to the woman you apparently loved. You lied to the woman who I spent my entire adult life trying to save. She didn't even know that she was the reason we returned to the Beta Worldline to begin with! Did she even really know you - know us? Tell me, were you using our memories of her from the Alpha Worldline to seduce her without telling her? That would be quite the heinous thing to do, don't you think, [Hououin Kyouma]?"
"It's not like that—!"
"Oh ho? Then what is it like?" Okabe's words spilled out of his mouth like venom. "I gave you the keys to a happy, genuine life in a world of peace, yet you couldn't even be genuine with the one person who deserved it above everyone else."
"She had her own burdens too!" [Okabe] tried to regain his place in the conversation, which Okabe only allowed because his outburst temporarily tired him out. "Who am I to add the ridiculous nature of our burdens on top of hers? She knew about what happened to Mayuri in those loops, she knew the general hierarchy of that worldline, she knew that we met on that worldline and that she helped me escape it, and she knew that time travel was involved - that's all she needed to know to support me. She has her dreams, but she forgets their details almost immediately, so there was no need for her to learn anything from them. She didn't need to know that we contributed to SERN's dystopia with the time-leap machine; she didn't need to know the specifics on how I escaped… I didn't want her to know that I let her sacrifice herself just to save Mayuri… I didn't want her to know that I… was the one who killed her in the Beta Worldline…"
[Okabe] was looking down for most of his response, but he looked back up, revealing the tears that threatened to stain his cheeks. "How can you tell the woman you love with all your heart and who loves you with all of hers that you killed her not once, but twice…?"
Okabe was about to respond, but the voice that belonged to the person who entered the room behind him stopped him before he could get a word out.
"Because in the end I'm alive, happy, and healthy thanks to your efforts, Okabe Rintaro."
Okabe turned to face the source of the voice. There, with her hands on her hips and her lips a fine thin line, stood Kurisu Okabe. Her own eyes were watery and red, but the firmness with which she entered the conversation betrayed the look she had.
"Kurisu…?" [Okabe]'s voice cracked. "...How much did you hear…?"
"From the moment you started justifying why I couldn't be trusted," she replied, closing the distance between herself and Okabe to get a better view at Amadeus. In reply, Okabe simply handed her the phone, letting her have her own say.
"Even after all these years…" the firmness in Kurisu's voice began to fade once she got a good look at [Okabe]. "...You didn't trust me with any of that information…?"
The tears in Kurisu's eyes began to make their way down her face, her feelings of betrayal fully realized.
"No, my love, I—"
"Don't 'my love' me, Amadeus," Kurisu was quick to snap in anger, separating the A.I. from Okabe's past self. "I allowed myself to be completely vulnerable with you. I exposed everything negative about myself to you because I trusted you. This part of you, the part that this man here was willing to share, always felt so out of reach. And you willingly kept it that way because you couldn't trust me to keep a secret? Because you couldn't trust me to still love you in spite of what happened in the process of reaching Steins Gate? Did our wedding vows mean nothing to you?"
All both Okabe and [Okabe] could do was remain in stunned silence. Okabe knew it meant a lot to be genuine with Kurisu, but he never would have expected this level of anger out of his wife. Granted, if he were to find out a truly vital piece of Kurisu's backstory - like that her own father tried to kill her - 26 years after starting a relationship with her, he was sure he would have felt betrayed as well. [Okabe]'s continued silence only made Kurisu shake more, her hold on the phone no longer secure.
"...I would have still loved you with all my heart…" Kurisu sobbed at the camera on the phone. "...If you told me about Attractor Field Theory and asked me not to pursue it… I would have done it…"
Okabe placed his hand on Kurisu's shoulder as her composure slowly began to crumble once more. At first he thought she would have swiped it away or rejected him outright, but to his surprise, she took it as an invitation to fully lean against him where he was able to wrap his arms around her. [Okabe] could see it all clearly from the phone's camera, knocking him out of his stunned state.
"Kurisu, please," he began to plead. "I did trust you. I just couldn't trust the world around us. You are the single-most important person in this world to me besides our children — I need you to know that."
"I don't know what I know…" Kurisu dug her face into Okabe's chest, making her words come out softly as a result. "...I just… I just need time to process this…"
With that, Kurisu hung up on Amadeus, threw Okabe's phone on the bed, and let herself be fully embraced by her husband. She let herself cry freely into his shirt while Okabe rubbed the back of her head to comfort her.
"Why could you trust me… but the one I made all my memories with couldn't?" Kurisu's voice shook in a way that bordered towards sobs.
"Life experience," Okabe recognized the irony of his words given he was technically nine years younger, but it didn't stop him from making the statement.
His eyes trailed upwards as he recalled his experience in the Beta Worldline. "I was a lot like that when I got re-involved with time travel in the Beta Worldline - always trying to shoulder the burden myself to stop people from toying with it. For a long time I fought to keep the Beta Worldline as it was because if I let the worldline switch back to Alpha, it would have made your initial sacrifice meaningless - which you didn't want."
Kurisu's sobs steadied as Okabe spoke about his brief return to the Alpha Worldline in 2011. He made it clear how every part of him wanted to stay despite the pain of losing Mayuri, but it was Kurisu who pushed him to return to the Beta Worldline. It was because of this push that he vowed to not let anyone tamper with time to risk going back to that worldline - even going against his own friends at certain points.
"It took Daru, Mayuri, and even Maho to make me see the damage I was doing by trying to carry all the pain by myself. If I trusted them from the beginning, I would have found the path to Steins Gate much sooner. It was because I trusted them in the end that I was able to find the resolve to fight for that path. They're why I decided not to shoulder my burdens on my own anymore."
Okabe looked back down at Kurisu who was already looking up at him. Her crying had quelled, but her eyes were still watering. Overcome with some sense of protectiveness, he parted her hair and slowly, hesitantly allowed his lips to lightly brush her exposed forehead.
"I'm sorry it took this long for you to learn the whole truth," he whispered to her, looking into her eyes. "And I'm sorry it didn't come out of my mouth when I had my memories of us still intact. You're allowed to be as angry as you want. But if I know myself - which I feel like I do - please believe Amadeus. What happened came from a place of irrational fear. The fear of losing you overrode everything else."
Kurisu felt herself get lost in the universe that sparkled within Okabe's dark eyes. Not even eight hours ago, she couldn't stand the sight of the man who "replaced" her husband. Yet there she was now, being comforted by him as she tried to overcome the deep sense of betrayal she felt within her heart inflicted by the man she thought she knew. She felt her heart get torn asunder by the one she trusted deeply only to have it be carefully put back together by the one she initially could only regard with surface-level interest at best.
However, despite this Okabe's attempts to rebuild the bridge between herself and his past memories, she couldn't give a damn about what Amadeus and Okabe's past self thought. Whenever she thought of either of them, she felt her heart begin to race and her body begin to tremble with anger. Just as this Okabe said: they lied to her through simple omission alone. They didn't trust her anywhere near the same level that she trusted them. They let fear override their supposed "genuine love" for her when it was always the other way around for her.
"Okarin…" Kurisu's voice came out soft.
All Okabe did was continue looking at her with those very same soft eyes that made her feel the most seen she could ever feel. He waited on her to speak, but he didn't seem like his very existence relied on what she said next. She didn't feel afraid to admit what she was about to admit only because of this gaze alone.
"I think…" time slowed as Kurisu began to speak. "...I think I'd like for you to stay as you are… for just a bit longer…"
Okabe's eyes widened briefly at Kurisu's words before softening again. The surprise on his end beckoned an explanation from her.
"I haven't given up completely on restoring your memories… it's just that I'm scared that if we do… we'll - I'll - risk feeling like I can't be trusted again… and that hurts so much…"
Tears rolled down her cheek once more, but Okabe was quick to catch them, rubbing them away with his thumb.
"We don't yet know what it'll take to merge me as I am now with me from the past, my love," an angel was speaking to Kurisu in the form of her husband. "Let's work on getting that process done and we can decide then. I'll be as I am the entire time that we do."
His words made sense, but bringing her mind back to Amadeus and his past self's memories only brought her more grief. It brought back the heartrending feeling of betrayal. Feelings that would only evaporate if she allowed her mind to trail back to the person he was at this very moment.
"I can't… I can't face Amadeus right now," she shook her head, letting her tears fly.
Kurisu watched as Okabe's eyebrows turned upwards, a grimace planting itself on his face. This in itself nearly broke her, but before the look did any more damage, it was quickly replaced with the soft, comforting gaze that he had ever since he started holding her. She desperately didn't want this man to disapprove of her.
"You've been brave in sharing your deepest self with me over these few decades," he said. "It's a selfish request, but I need you to be brave on this for me too. I mean, if we succeed, we also have the hope that I retain my more open personality and add those precious memories to it. We'll never know until we try."
The scenario that Okabe painted worked to elevate Kurisu's sunken heart by a little bit. She saw the merit in what he was saying, but she realized that only time - time with him - could bring her back to her full spirits.
"Okay…" she said, blinking away her tears. "But can I at least have a week before we do anything?"
Okabe smiled. "That sounds like a fair compromise to me."
Kurisu felt her heart flutter at Okabe's smile, complicating the journey that her emotions had been on since his memories were first replaced. Her mind raced back to the summer of 2011 when she first realized that the feelings that she had for Rintaro Okabe were romantic ones that she could no longer ignore. She felt those feelings surface as she spoke to Okabe over the course of the morning, but here in this moment, they completely boiled over, begging for a proper release.
"For now, I can return the favor and fill you in on what you missed in the past 26 years," she grabbed his face with her hands as she spoke. "Starting with this."
Kurisu gently pulled Okabe's face down to her as she got onto the tips of her toes to go up to him. Her eyes closed as her lips connected with his. Okabe, stunned for a moment, pulled her into himself by the waist, allowing the kiss to deepen itself naturally. In response, she let go of his face and wrapped her arms around his neck, letting herself hang on to him as their lips did all the talking for them. She could feel the breaths he tried to contain come out of his nose each time their lips parted momentarily only to be rejoined with ever-increasing passion. It was a tug-of-war that they played — Okabe's lips being pulled into Kurisu's each time her lips pulled away and Kurisu's hungrily chasing Okabe's each time his own pulled away.
A faint smell of coconut wafted its way into her own nose while they played this back-and-forth - during the shower Okabe had inadvertently used her shampoo. The hilarity of it made her break the kiss with a smile, her mouth still mere centimeters from his while they remained holding onto each other.
"Looks like I'll have to teach you quite a bit about this worldline," she forced her breath into each word, the air that each syllable produced hit Okabe's lips in equal intensity. "There's so much for you to experience for the first time again."
"R-Really now?" Okabe tried to keep up with Kurisu, but his social inexperience made itself present as she could feel the warmness emanating from his cheeks and the lack of surety in his voice. "Like what?"
In response, she pushed him off of her and onto the dry part of the bed. Like a lioness stalking her prey, Kurisu slowly approached Okabe, slipping off her cardigan, undoing her blouse, and revealing her white bra underneath. She carefully climbed on top of Okabe, placing herself squarely on his waist and bent down to his face.
Okabe was red in the cheeks due to the scene he was partaking in. However, as red and shocked as he was, it wasn't out of lack of want.
"W-What about the kids…?" his head turned towards the wide-open door that led to the hallway.
"I sent them off in an Oober to school," she purred in response, grabbing his head and twisting it back to her. "The Tale of Hououin Kyouma was enough for them to leave the apartment satisfied."
Shortly after Okabe disappeared into the bedroom with Amadeus, the twins actually brought it up to her that they themselves were ready to go to school. Happy to oblige them, she ordered them an express Oober and sent them on their way, telling Reina to text her once they made it.
At her answer, Kurisu saw some of Okabe's redness fade away. That in itself made her glad as it meant the rest could only be taken away with what she had in store for him. She let her lips get a taste for his once more as she began to undo the buttons of his black shirt. Once his shirt was fully undone, Okabe surprised her by forcefully grabbing her waist where her pants met her exposed torso. The warmth of his fingers, combined with the suddenness of the move sent a jolt to her core. She was beginning to get even more excited.
She sat up and undid her bra, fully exposing her chest to this Okabe for the first time, and guided his hands from her waist to her breasts, forcing him to get a good hold of them. It was one thing for her to play with them on her own, it was another thing entirely when Okabe himself played with them, but the feeling she got from forcing Okabe to play with them how she wanted was absolutely electric. Almost unconsciously, she felt herself begin to grind on his waist, the warmth she felt in her core beginning to spread throughout her body. She looked down at the man whose face was clouded over with pure lust before taking his hands off of her and pinned them down to his sides with both her arms. This move, naturally, brought her chest and face up against his own. She playfully brushed her lips against his before leaning closer to his ear, still grinding herself on his waist.
"Just this once," her lips were practically against Okabe's ear as she whispered. "Let your Assistant do everything… Kyouma-sama~"
At the soft utterance of her words, Kurisu felt something poke at her bottom despite the fabric that stood between her and the cause of the poke. A satisfied smile crept across her face - the seduction of Rintaro Okabe was complete. With that, she began her work of re-teaching him everything that came with pleasuring both her and himself.
Date: November 14, 2036 10:58:40AM PST
Divergence: 1.048596 (Steins Gate)
Kurisu was still struggling to get her heartbeat down from what she just experienced with Okabe. She knew that the man had endurance, but to last nearly 45 minutes in combined foreplay and actual sex on top of making her feel as good as she did was absolutely unbelievable.
Once he finally finished, she dragged him into the shower with her and showed him which products were hers and which were his. They exchanged turns washing each other and then very quickly found themselves in bed once more once Kurisu swapped out the sheets for cleaner ones. Somewhere in the middle of their session, Reina texted her saying that she and Haruki planned to stay a couple hours after school to make up for what they missed, so knowing that they would be back late, Kurisu just opted to get under the covers naked, prompting Okabe to do the same.
She laid in bed cuddled up with Okabe, stroking the hair on the arm that he had across her chest while she was deep in thought. Now that she was coming down from her excitement, she could slowly feel guilt creep into her soul. It hadn't even been a day and Kurisu already began to feel love for someone who wasn't her husband. She knew that, by the standards that Okabe set, they were just about the same man, but there was a part of her that could no longer consider them the same person – especially after she discovered their opposing philosophies regarding the openness with which they would share their experiences with time travel. She also couldn't believe that she blurted out a desire to delay getting those precious memories back. How much of that feeling was genuine? How much of that was just her getting back at those past memories for having betrayed her?
She turned her head towards Okabe. His eyes were already closed and his breathing had taken the same rhythm it usually did when he was asleep. Watching him like this only served to worsen the feeling that began to consume her, as she felt her heart flutter for this man only for the fluttering to stop when she allowed herself to think of what he was like before. Within the day of his arrival, Kurisu Okabe - from her point of view - had inexplicably and unforgivably made love to the Rintaro Okabe who hailed from the Beta Worldline and betrayed the vows she made to her husband from before. However, to anyone who knew of her plight, namely the man who was the current object of her desire, it would have been obvious that what it took was showing a level of trust that hadn't been granted to her for nearly three decades - a level of trust that finally let her stand on even ground with the love of her life.
A/N: And so we've reached the true turning point of the story as we enter the beginning of the Penitence Arc. I don't particularly find enjoyment in writing angst only because I doubt my skill as a writer when it comes to it. I hope this is up to the standard of you, the reader! This arc in general has been my absolute favorite to write despite my perceived lack of skill and I have many high hopes that you all will enjoy reading it as I did writing it! Unfortunately, some life matters have gotten in the way and might affect my weekly posting schedule. I still have every expectation to continue posting weekly, but there's about a 33% chance that 0verwritten will be on break either next week or the weekend after. It truly just depends on how life works out, but as it stands, this might be the only break I will have to take from posting and I hope to keep it that way.
Regardless! The next chapter will be: "The Burden of Guilt". I will see you all hopefully next week if not the week after!
Quil~