Shirley stared absentmindedly at the tv, which was playing a rerun of some old western flick. She was almost unaware of the presence of Sandra right beside her, looking equally as bored, back slumped off the stained leather couch.
They had rented the motel for a few days, as they would often do when going on dopamine high streaks. They would gorge themselves on food and beer, and forget everything the next morning, feeling like they had been run over by a truck.
They would swear to go easier the next time, but the cycle always repeated itself, always going back to square one, and never learning from their mistakes. They were young after all, why not waste that precious time by binging on earthly delights?
Sandra shifted on the couch, causing Shirley to jump in surprise. Sandra gave her a confused glance, then cleared her throat.
"So, you heard there's gonna be a travelin' band?'' She took a long inhale of the cigarette she got from the nightstand.
Shirley's eyes lit up momentarily, "No, what band?" Her body now facing Sandra, eyes asking for more information. After a long pause, Sandra let the smoke plume out of her mouth.
"They're a rock band from 'Cali called Mötley Crüe. There ain't a lotta talents' coming to this area, and I thought it would be fun." Sandra tapped the cigarette with her finger, the charred remains falling on the carpeted floor.
"You don't have to go, just an idea." Shirley panicked for a moment; hands balled up in loose fists. "No! It's not that. I just don't know them very well, and what if the tickets are expensive?"
Shirley began to pick at her nails, an unhealthy coping mechanism she inherited from her mother.
Sandra sighed and took a shorter puff of her cigarette. "There ain't a ticket price, you just get there when they perform. And don't you worry, most people don't know them, they just come to get high and bang after."
Sandra tossed the cigarette in the nearby trash can. "And I was thinkin' we could get a pack o' Millers' to make it more exciting." Sandra gave Shirley a cheeky grin, her teeth yellowed from neglect and her obvious smoking habit.
Shirley grimaced briefly before considering her offer. The venue is free, and they get beer, nothing is missing from the equation that would make her not want to attend.
And maybe, she can hook up with a decent man, since to her knowledge, the men that like rock music are near her age and sexual interest. Though long-term commitment in her eyes is a death sentence, she did not dream about settling down anytime soon, and no one should know about her depressing thoughts.
"How un-ladylike!" her mom's voice practically chastised her mind.
Sandra shook Shirley lightly, "Uh, you alright there?" Shirley glanced back at Sandra. "Yeah, I was just thinking. I wanna go, but only if you drive."
Shirley gave a playful punch on her arm. Sandra chuckled with a faux annoyed look. "Yeah, yeah. Once a passenger princess, always one right Shirley?"
The two young women headed out to greet their less-than-stellar, stolen 1981 Ford Escort parked across from the motel door.
Its paint was notably chipped in some places, and the windshield wipers were practically begging to be replaced, but they couldn't do much to remedy the issues until Sandra's next paycheck.
Sandra got in the car, and turned on the engine, its purr vibrating the space pleasantly. Once they got on the road, Sandra kept her eyes peeled for any gas stations housing cheap beer.
After what felt like 10 minutes driving around, they found a gas station they knew had their preferred alcoholic beverage.
A trusty 7/11, with the neon sign flickering sporadically. Inside, they felt the cool air conditioning hit their heads, sparing them from the summer Texan heat. Sandra parted ways with Shirley from there, motivated on her quest for precious beer.
Shirley was browsing the snack isles, brushing her hand across the variety of chips and salty processed food. Shirley decided on a bag of caramel Bugles, while Sandra was scanning the fridge for drinks, her back facing Shirley.
She swung the fridge door open to reveal an 8-pack of Busch's, holding it triumphantly as if it was a hunted game.
"This'll do just fine, I ain't picky about taste." Sandra strutted to the cashier desk with Shirley following shortly behind. After they counted the crumbled bills from their wallets, they paid for their food and packed the beer in the small trunk.
Sandra adjusted the radio from dull classical music to the local news. Shirley placed her head on her hand, staring at the flat hills and occasional trees that would streak past her vision through the stained window.
Besides the news anchor's droning voice, the car was serenely quiet. Shirley dared to speak, "So, how far is Austin from here?" Sandra glanced at Shirley for a moment before replying, "About an hour away from the motel, I reckon it's a few more exits from here." Shirley returned a glance as a subtle response.
She hated it when there was no activity or substantial noise, it meant she was alone with her taunting mind. A victim of her own thoughts. Memories of her parents came flooding back, with the dam keeping it held tightly absent.
She hadn't spoken to either of them in a few months, as they would often call about her finances or dating status.
As for dating, they preferred the 'courting method', so if they ever found out she was deflowered years ago, she would be further ostracized. They attempted to instill Christian values, the issue was that they preferred corporal punishment over doting care.
Most people she knew in her childhood believed in similar values, so leaving her parents and the nearby community felt like a new spark of rebellion was ignited in her.
She slept around with any man that she could take emotional advantage of and indulged in cheap thrills. She was not a heartless succubus, but she always had the sinking feeling that if she got closer than an arm's length with someone, she would never recover.
Shirley was ripped from her thoughts when she felt the car shift into reverse, the road beneath them rough with scattered asphalt. The women stepped out of the car and were nearing the venue, which aside from the cars and trucks parked haphazardly in a vague row, was open and empty.
A few yards ahead was an unassuming stage, about half the size of the typical concert venue. "You know when it's gonna start, I think we got here pretty early." Sandra checked her wristwatch. "In aboutta hour, you can eat the snacks you got."
Soon enough, a large crowd had formed in anticipation of the band's performance. A few stragglers were huddled near their vehicles, having lax conversations with each other and chugging down beers like frat house boys.
The roadies had unpacked the set pieces and sound equipment in preparation for the band's arrival. The lights and smoke effects had a few tests for troubleshooting, as the van with band members in tow had pulled into the driveway behind the stage.
Sandra had pulled out a beer from the pack she bought, the click of the tab accompanied by the fizzing bubbles foaming out of the top enticed Shirley for one of her own. She enjoyed social gatherings more with a bit of alcohol in her system.
The women got comfortable in their spots in the roaring crowd as the band had stepped on stage. The members had glam rock attire and long, layered mullets. The congested crowd cheered, the entire vicinity shaking with their jumping and commotion.
No doubt they would be heard a few miles away, and maybe get a few noise complaints from older residents. But they didn't care, because tonight was the time to unwind and get crazy. To get hammered and head-bang to new electrifying sounds.
As Shirley and Sandra got lost in the band's riveting performance, Shirley saw someone catch her attention. For a brief moment, time stood still, and she found herself ogling two men, one in particular stuck her fancy. He had a similar frame to her, incredibly thin and lacking any definition. His hair was a honey blonde, maybe a few shades darker than her own barley colored locks.
She felt a rush of adrenaline pulse through her veins, and her heartbeats could just barely be heard rushing in her ears. She wondered how he was like in bed, perhaps he was more engaging than the other men she met? She roused herself out of her distracting thoughts before Sandra could notice.
Shirley downed another beer from the cardboard pack beside her, if she drowned herself in the fuzzy warm blanket of alcohol then maybe those thoughts would be less intrusive, less personal. The music had become more like background ambience to her buzzed mind, but nonetheless felt energetic enough to jump and dance around with what little space she had.
After about an hour, the sky had gone dark enough to see stars decorated across the enveloping black. The band had bid the attendees a farewell and the roadies had begun their teardown of the set.
Shirley spotted the same man that captivated her when he was still among the crowd. He was carrying some sound equipment, though it looked like his legs would give in from the weight of it.
She held in a laugh at his struggle, he seemed especially frail compared to the other roadie besides him, who was heavyset with muscles bulging as he effortlessly carried the equipment with one arm. They both looked to be a little older than her and Sandra, by five or so years.
She waited patiently alongside Sandra, who had already got some weed from the car. Sandra turned to her and gave a knowing look. "You seem mighty fascinated by those roadies over there." Sandra gave Shirley a playful, albeit hard, nudge.
Shirley became uncharacteristically flustered at her comment, her cheeks flushed red against her pale face. "You know damn well you were eyeballing them too!" She pointed an accusatory finger at Sandra, who gave a giggle in return. "Yeah, there's just not much fresh meat around her tonight. Besides, they may have experience."
Shirley perked up at what she said, and she had a revelation. Maybe they could share some weed with them and snag an opportunity in love. No serious commitment, just a fun one night stand. Apart from a few people standing around their vehicles, it was the perfect environment to get laid after an eventful concert.
The roadies stuffed the rest of the sound equipment and other miscellaneous materials into the large van, and approached Shirley and Sandra, who were lighting up a blunt. Shirley jumped slightly at their sudden appearance, coupled with her mind being clouded in a drugged fog.
"Hey, what's your guy's names?" Sandra started, as she was better at handling most conversations. Compounding that with the alcohol, she was quite confident. The larger man, who had a dark brown mullet, introduced himself as Linus and the scrawnier blonde beside him as Lionel.
"He's kind of a wuss, just brought him along or else he would've been lonely." Linus said with a shit-eating grin cast at Lionel. Lionel grunted, as he failed to conjure an appropriate response. The smaller man appeared to cower underneath the larger man, he looked like a scrawny parasite that had hooked on him as a host.
"Since everyone is heading out, y'all wanna stop somewhere to drink." Linus saw the lit blunt in the womens' hands, "And get high?" Sandra and Shirley took the hint and headed into their car. Sandra rolled down the window to poke her head out. "Where we headin'?" She yelled toward Linus. "A pit stop at Highland. You know where that is?" He yelled back.
"Yeah! Just tailgate us!" Sandra shifted the car in reverse and began to drive from the empty parking area. Lionel snaked to his motorcycle, patiently waiting for his roadie mate. Linus followed close behind, revving his engine loudly.
A short trip later, they had arrived at a gas station, which thankfully had rest stops in the form of portable toilets. Sandra and Shirley stepped out of their car and sat on the hood, they felt the car tip with each of their added weight. They cracked open their last can of beers, the foam creating a satisfying sizzle. "Cheers!" Sandra exclaimed, tapping their cans together and chugging it down simultaneously.
Linus and Lionel climbed off their motorcycles and brushed off any debris that may have accumulated on them. "I'm gonna get more drinks for us. You'll be good girls and wait right there, aight?" Linus clicked his tongue and winked at the women. Sandra blushed, while Shirley looked less than impressed, taking a short swig from her beer.
The men returned with 2 full packs of beer in tow, and set it down in the car with a thump, the beers inside rattling against each other. Sandra and Shirley handed each of the men a blunt, who took it as eagerly as a child with candy.
They chatted a bit through bouts of coughing from the fumes of marijuana smoke and sips of beer, the atmosphere around them feeling light and airy. Linus mostly talked about his experience with being a roadie and his traveling escapades, while Lionel did not contribute much to the party.
Shirley, through her fogged mind, still noticed how insecure and hushed Lionel was. He would only talk in hurried replies when spoken to and fidgeted with his hands. His eyes were often downcast, and he seemed to be less relaxed than Linus.
As Sandra was enthralled in conversation with Linus, Shirley quietly moves from her spot on the car, intent on leaving the two to bond. She saw Lionel hunched over like a kicked puppy and motioned him to follow her. She stood on the corner wall of the gas station, swirling the beer can in her hand.
Lionel squirmed awkwardly at Shirley's side, unsure of what action to take next. But before he could decide, Shirley began to talk to him. "I heard your friend over there likes chicks and hittin' the road, what about you?" She gave him an earnest look, but with enough strength to hide her vulnerability.
"Uh, well, I just watch tv and stuff…" He hung his head down and stared at his feet, kicking a stray rock. "Surely you do more than just 'tv and stuff'." Shirley placed a hand on his shoulder to focus his attention back to her. "You can talk to me, I won't judge. And unlike that dickhead over there, I think you're quite cute."
Lionel froze up, his small muscles tensing at her touch. Her words melted into him, he couldn't think of anything other than her face. Her dark blue eyes shined like sapphires to him, her curly hair looked like shavings of gold in his eyes.
Shirley leaned in, noticing that Lionel was drinking up her features. She closed her eyes and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. Lionel, face now flushed and pupils dilated, had an unspoken desire for more intimacy. Shirley was just playing with him, as she enjoyed seeing him practically beg before giving her body to him.
Lionel cleared his throat, which startled Shirely, and subsequently put an abrupt end to the romantic tension. He tugged at the hem of his shirt, and cast his eyes back to the ground. "So, um, you really want to know more 'bout me?" He gave Shirley a wavering smile.
Shirley returned to him a quaint nod. "Well, 'ave you heard of the show Charlie's Angels?" Shirley's expression lit up considerably, although her subconscious was chastising her for displaying genuine happiness to a man she had just met.
"Of course I have! They just premiered their ending a few nights ago!" She exclaimed. It did feel nice to be united in a common interest that was not in relation to staring at each other's bodies. Lionel grinned and began playing with his hands in his lap. "I hope this don't sound too weird, but you remind me of Jill Munroe."
Shirley giggled at his comment, shaking her head. What a dork this man was. "Nah, I'll take that as a compliment, she's my favorite character." She fixed her hair by tucking it behind her ear, though it still was tousled and messy.
"Where are you from anyway? You and the other guy are roadies from what I recall." Lionel was no longer preoccupied with his hands, granting her full awareness. "I grew up outside of Louisville, Kentucky. But I kinda go wherever Linus drags me next 'cuz of our job, so I haven't seen home in a while."
Shirley already assumed he was from a redneck state, his mannerisms and accent were clear signifiers. This didn't mean she thought less of him, her extended family wasn't something to brag about. They too were quite southern, with some more dignified relatives in the midwest.
"Is the job you're doing really that.. Good?" Lionel looked at Shirley with a raised eyebrow. "Whaddya mean by that?" Shirley stumbled with her words for a moment, her mouth betrayed her scrambled thoughts. "I mean that, is it like, fulfilling for you?"
Lionel could do nothing but gaze into her eyes, she looked so honest and open to any answer. It was as if nothing could disappoint her, and he felt the invisible weight on his shoulders graciously lifted by her soft demeanor. "Yeah, well, how do I put this, I got nothin' better to do right now."
Lionel scratched the back of his head sheepishly. He was slightly embarrassed yet continued, "It just feels… right for me y'know. I ain't got prospects for me back at home and Linus does most of the heavy lifting. And I like seein' other people, like you." He added the last remark in a hushed volume, nearly a whisper carried away by the wind.
"Well you seem like a nice man yourself. Not the brightest, but something I fancy." Shirley replied in a gentle, motherly tone. She laced her fingers in Lionel's own, their hands intertwined in a spirited fashion. She gave one more kiss on his freckled cheek to close off her sentence.
Lionel leaned in to Shirley, eager for the taste of her lips on his own, less ministered, chapped pair. Suddenly, they both heard a call that came near where Lionel haphazardly parked his motorcycle. It was Sandra, waving an extended arm and yelling at the pair.
"Will you two lovebirds quit your sappy-ass foreplay and fuck already?" Sandra yelled, her voice cracking from the exertion of her tired vocal chords. Shirley glared at her distant figure and flipped the bird in her direction.
Linus, who was standing beside Sandra, let out a thunderous guffaw at Shirley's temper. He wiped his eyes with his fists, drawing small teardrops that dared to leak out. "She's a wild woman ain't she?" He gasped shakily at Sandra after catching his breath.
Sandra stepped closer to Shirley, who still looked frazzled from her alone time being rudely interrupted. She gave her a steady pat on the shoulder and ruffled her knotty blonde curls. She then leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Go get him Shirls, I'm not judgin' this time."
Shirley felt her face flush, partly from her self-consciousness and the way Sandra's breath was warm against her cheek. Shirley quickly put up her guard and indignantly swatted away Sandra from her vicinity.
Linus ran up behind Sandra, who whisked her up in a bridal carry. Sandra giggled like a shy schoolgirl, and even with her extra pounds over Shirley, Linus scooped her as if she were a pile of pillows. Linus kicked open the door of the portable toilet and ungracefully slammed it behind him, Sandra's muffled laughter heard through the thick plastic.
Shirley would have had her mouth agape in shock at how easily swooned her friend was, but she was reminded by her drowsy mind that they were both under the influence. Of course she would be impressed, she was probably imagining herself as a darling princess in a carriage, Shirley thought cynically.
She turned her attention over to Lionel, who had pointed with his eyes sheepishly to the other toilet. Without another second of dead air shared between them, Shirley sighed and outstretched her arm to Lionel. He took it with a hint of fear, to his knowledge he had never been alone with a girl, let alone one that didn't wrinkle their face in disgust at the mere thought of sex with him.
As soon as their hands touched, Shirley whisked open the thick blue door and locked them inside. Surveying the area proved difficult with two people in a cramped space meant for one to shit in.
A part of Shirley wished she had brought another bottle of booze to suffocate her rising anxiety, but instead she tried to maneuver herself somewhat comfortably on the toilet seat, which thankfully had been closed and empty.
It was hard to see Lionel's face with the at best, patchy light streaming in through the small window in the toilet, but she didn't n't mind. The lesser the connection, the easier it is to forget by the next day. Shirley put a hand underneath Lionel's chin and pulled him closer, which had resulted in them crashing noses.
Shirley smirked and Lionel shied away a bit, shifting from his position on top of her. When he turned his head in embarrassment, Shirley pulled him by his soft cheeks so they were making direct eye contact.
"Don't be nervous hun, I'm guessing this is your first time?" Shirley dragged one of her hands from his face and down to his back. She could feel Lionel shivering with every stroke she made across his back, near shoulder blades, and down to his hips. He was like a startled animal that had to be calmed.
Lionel gave only a curt nod and gulped, the noise loud in the deathly quiet toilet. Shirley had that signature seductive persona with every careful move she made and every calculated word she spoke. "I think you're quite cute. Cute enough for me to kiss perhaps?"
Before Lionel could interject with babbling about his insecurities, Shirley joined their lips in a gentle kiss. He was far less trained than her, but the contrast between her silky lips with his neglected ones made her forgive his incompetence. Maybe men like him are nice to be around.
After what felt like minutes of their united mouths enjoying each other, Shirley decided the best option for an inexperienced man was to continue the foreplay, maybe with some encouraging words sprinkled in.
Everytime she spoke sweet nothings in his ear, Lionel would shiver and shift more in his spot. There it is. I love it when I get to make men break, make them melt and hold me like they would never hurt me. Shirley did feel a pang of what would only be described as guilt when he saw how vulnerable he was in her arms.
He was unfolding himself like a flower with all of her actions and affirmations, What if I could be with him or someone like him? Would someone like that yell at me for being dominant? Would they be a good husband?
Her thoughts became increasingly irrational and hormone motivated with each passing second, the dullness of the alcohol in her system only exacerbating it. She knows in her subconscious that these desires are only because she's getting laid and will dissipate in a moment's notice, but that does not stop the feeling of being trapped in her mind and being forced to evaluate her choices.
Shirley separated yet another sloppy kiss session to peel off her rock band tee, which had become too hot, compounded with the stuffy interior and their ragged breaths fanning each other's bodies in unforgiving heat.
She let her shirt drop beside the paper towel holder, revealing an eggshell white laced bra, with one strap sagging from her shoulder, hinting at the erotic beauty hidden underneath. Shirley saw Lionel staring with hungry eyes and in response, loosely held both thin bra straps with her hands.
"You ready for your big surprise? You've been so patient with me after all." She closed off her last sentence with an alluring wink and unclipped her bra, letting it fall in their shared lap. It laid like a rested dove, majestic and pure despite its less than innocent nature.
Suddenly, Lionel's mood had shifted from being less reserved to being like any other aroused man. He shook his fists in an eager display, they appeared to vibrate with how fast he was shaking.
Shirley took this as a sign to go further and clutched the zipper on her jeans, its contents begging to be freed. Then suddenly before she could do anything, Lionel grabbed her by the waist, and-
"Boingoingoingoingoing…"