For whatever it's worth

September

Hero hears Beatrice's voice raised at the front door and pokes her head out to see which unfortunate soul has provoked her cousin's wrath. She doesn't think it can be Ben; since he punched Claudio in Hero's honour, a truce has formed between the pair. From her cousin's flushed evasions when asked about it, Hero suspects things have warmed between them once more. She doesn't pry, but it makes her smile, pleased for her friends.

Beatrice is giving their caller a full-on tongue-lashing and Hero walks down the hall to rescue the poor soul.

"If you think you can waltz back in—" Beatrice cuts off when she notices her, but Hero's gaze is fixed on the figure on their doorstep.

John's eyes widen as he sees her, looking like a hare about to bolt. "Hero…"

Hearing her name in his mouth feels like fingers curled around her heart, squeezing. "What are you doing here?"

The panic in John's expression sharpens, then it is wiped clean, replaced with that impassive mask he wore the last time she saw him. It makes her suddenly furious.

She surges past Beatrice who shuffles out of sight. "You left."

John's jaw clenches, hard enough that his teeth become visible through his gums.

"You left," she repeats, accusing.

His eyes shine, a crack in the marble. "What reason had I to stay?"

He might as well have slapped her. She recoils against the door, hand closing around the handle as she considers slamming it in his face. Her voice has dropped through the pit where her heart trembles. "Then why are you here now?"

He stares at her, panic creeping in. "I…"

He glances up as two women pass on the pavement, laughing over something.

Hero observes the rigidity of his shoulders and sighs. "Come round to the garden."

She closes the front door and leads him round the side, unlatching the gate and stepping through to the garden. She walks over to the bench under the bower and takes a seat. Here, they are only visible from the back windows of the house and Beatrice is the only other person home.

"This is… a beautiful garden," John murmurs as he joins her on the bench. He appears to struggle with what to do with his long legs, knee shaking.

"Thank you… my mother's handiwork."

John nods, a pulse in his jaw. She recognises this tick from their time together, knows he is gathering his words. She waits.

"I take it… your cousin knows about us…"

Hero huffs a short laugh. "Everyone knows. Claudio found out and… caused a riot."

"I heard about Claudio."

Hero's hands tighten in her lap. "Oh?"

"Margaret called me on Borachio's phone."

Hero's heart flips at this news. Margaret has been nothing but supportive since finding out about John. Hero feels guilty that she hid it from her for so long but to this Margaret only winked and said she understood the secrecy ("Adds a little spice to the affair.")

"After she was done shouting at me, she explained what happened." His expression darkens, his gaze a storm. "I wish I'd been there. I'd have punched him myself. I still might, if I meet him."

Hero shakes her head. "Don't. It's over. I don't need anyone getting into trouble on my behalf."

Between Ben, Beatrice, Margaret, and several others at the party rising to her defence, Claudio has caused her no further problems. She is glad to be done with him.

"You're worth the trouble," John says, his tone soft.

Her gaze widens and she springs from the bench. "You can't say that! You left. Without a word." She folds her arms around herself. "I went to that party to speak with you and you were gone."

He looks at the ground. "I didn't think… you'd want to hear from me…"

Hero purses her lips, regarding his bowed head. "I regret how I reacted… in the car. I… I was… hurt. But I don't… I don't want things to be bad between us." She sighs and sits back down. "I really… I really liked being with you this summer. It would be a shame… if we never spoke again."

She fidgets with her hands, peering at him through the curtain of her hair. John raises his gaze to hers and she holds her breath.

"It would…" he says it like an answer and a question, watching her face.

She breathes out, a weight easing from her conscience, and offers a tentative smile.

He watches her. "Does it… bother you… everyone knowing? You wanted us to be a secret."

His words make her pause. "I don't mind if people know. It wasn't as if… I was never ashamed of us. Of course I wasn't. I just wanted it to be ours… for as long as it could be."

John nods slowly. There is a beat of silence and then he speaks. "I ended things like an ass. You were right to shout at me. I'm sorry. It's why I came back."

She tilts her head, teasing now. "You mean… you didn't come back to punch Claudio?"

He flexes his hand. "As much as a pleasure it would be… no. It was you. I… I wanted to punch myself for how I ended things. I knew I was the rebound — but I acted like a dick. God knows you've had enough of those."

He looks away, fists balled in his lap.

"John…" She blinks slowly, drawing his gaze. "Are you… calling me a cockslut?"

He stares. "Ah shit."

He covers his mouth, hanging his head between his knees. She sniggers, lifting his gaze back to hers, a grin tugs at his lips. They look each other in the eye and laugh, relaxing against the bench. the tension eased. There is a pause where neither of them say anything but the silence no longer feels a burden.

"Oh! I have your book."

John looks at her, brow furrowed. "My book?"

"Friday's Child. I-I found it in your room… uhh… the—the night of the party… I was… um… looking for you." She threads her fingers, smiling to the side of him.

"Ah."

"I was surprised… you were reading it…"

"It's good. Though…" he crosses his legs, "...Hero deserves better than Sherry."

Her smile balloons with the glow in her chest. "He grows. They both do." She stands. "I should fetch it for you. You'll want to know how it ends."

"Wait." He catches her wrist.

She looks back into eyes like a black sea. How deep could she dive? No light would reach her in those dark waters.

He swallows. "I don't need to know… just yet."

"Are you… sure?"

"Stay."

She sinks back down next to him. Both of them stare at their joined hands.

Before he can withdraw, she tightens her hold. "John?" His gaze locks with hers and she is unbalanced by what she sees there. But she has to know. "John… what you said… I need you to know… you were more than a rebound to me. So much more… it scares me."

His lips part around the quick inhale as his eyes ignite. "It scares me too… so much it made me cruel. Hero… this summer with you… were the best months I ever spent in this place. What I felt with you… what I feel… Messina Cove was never somewhere I wanted to return until I was leaving you."

He looks at her and she falls into that deep black sea. The space between them vanishes, their lips fitting together perfectly as they have for months now. The kiss is shy like new lovers, treading waves, testing the waters. Gentle as a knife's caress that has cut once before. Oh God, she had missed this.

They part and Hero feels abraded; skin raw, bones exposed, as she stares into his face. His eyes scour hers.

"I wish…" She clutches his shirt. "I wish the summer didn't have to end."

His fingers settle in her hair, stroking through her curls, and she sighs at the familiar touch. "When do you return to university?"

"In a couple of weeks."

"Ah…"

She grasps his hand, spreading it flat in her lap and tracing her fingers over his palm like she might divine their future from the lines there. "What about you? What are your plans?"

"I'm still… figuring that out…"

"Still searching for what you want?"

"In a sense…" His thumb sweeps over her fingers.

Her pulse quivers. "It's my final year…"

His mouth flickers. "Can't afford distractions."

She draws her knee under her. "Maybe some distractions."

His hand slides around her waist. "Stress relief?"

She shifts, lowering herself half into his lap. "More than stress relief."

His other hand combs through her hair, cupping her chin. "Whatever you want."

"No." She flattens her hand against his chest, halting him. "I can't play any more games. Be honest with me. Please John."

That look of the spooked hare returns, his fingers tightening on her waist. "I can't… I don't know… I've never… what I feel for you… I've never felt like this… with anyone… but… but if I did… if I could… it'd be you… Hero…"

He looks at her, lost, and she spreads her fingers, feels the racing of his heart. Perhaps she is being cruel now, asking him to confess what she herself is unsure of. She slumps against him, crumpling into his lap. "I wish we could figure it out together. I wish the timing wasn't so bad…"

He moves his hand to cradle her head. "There's always next summer… we could try again then."

She turns her gaze to his face. "Next summer?"

"If nothing has changed by then."

Her heartbeat quickens, hope and fear drumming through her marrow. "So much could change."

"It could…" He looks at her without answer, but she sees it in his gaze, that gleam of a chance. "What if…"

He hesitates. She brushes her fingerpads along his beard. "What is it?"

"What if I drove you… back to university?"

She sits forward. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah."

Her smile blooms, growing with belief as she touches his cheek. She has missed the coarseness of his beard beneath her fingers. "It's a long drive."

His mouth crooks into her touch, drawing her closer. "We could make it longer."

:-x-:

Next Summer

July

Her father holds his champagne glass aloft. "I would like to make a toast to my marvellous daughter who graduated yesterday with highest honours."

Hero flushes and beams as everyone in the garden applauds.

"Hero has always been the perfect daughter and though it saddens us to see her go, we are very proud of the beautiful and intelligent woman she has become. Please join us in wishing her all the best in her new life and career as a trainee teacher in New Avon."

Everyone cheers. Her mother squeezes her father's shoulder and Hero runs over with misty eyes to hug them both.

Her parents organised this garden party to celebrate her graduation, inviting all their friends, neighbours, and relatives. The garden is crowded with people congratulating her on her accomplishment, asking about her plans for the future, and wishing her well. She makes a slow circle around the garden, stopping every couple of steps to speak with someone new.

"Congratulations, Hero!" Ursula exclaims as she greets her. "New Avon, that's exciting. Your future students are very lucky to have you."

"It's a noble thing to do; agitating young minds," Doug says with sincerity. "I owe my great indigence to my own schooling. Often I have been told I am too learned to be understood."

"That's… quite the accomplishment," Hero smiles. "Thank you both."

"When are you moving?"

"Not until late August. I'm going to do some travelling with friends first. You remember Margaret? It's her and some others. We leave the day after tomorrow."

"Oh how wonderful."

After she is finished speaking with Ursula and Doug, she looks around and spies Beatrice and Ben at the buffet table, competing to see who can catch the most olives in their mouths. Before she can go to them, however, her aunt draws her into conversation.

"Aren't you nervous about moving to a big city like New Avon on your own?"

"No, I find it exciting," Hero assures her. "Actually I already know someone there, so I won't be alone."

"Hmm." Her aunt looks unconvinced. "Whatever happened to that nice boy, Claudio, you were seeing?"

"Um…" Hero is distracted as a stray olive lands in her aunt's hat. "We split up over a year ago."

Her aunt hasn't noticed her new adornment. "Oh dear, that is a shame. He was such a handsome young man. Are you seeing anyone else?"

"Hero," her mother interrupts with a twinkle, "Your friend has arrived."

She nods towards the gate and Hero follows her gaze. John stands rooted to the ground, petrified gaze darting around the crowded garden. Her Uncle Antonio approaches him, clasping his hand in a hard shake and launching into animated conversation.

Hero crosses the lawn in quick strides, swerving people to rescue John. He notices her approach, mouth curving into an easy smile that makes her heart stutter.

Her uncle excuses himself with a wink. "He's all yours."

John's eyes sparkle as Hero looks into his gorgeous face, her own smile blossoming. "You made it. How was the drive?"

"Not bad. I'll need to fill-up the tank before we leave. Am I late?"

"No." Her hands bunch in his collar as his own slide to her waist. "Your timing is perfect."

Then, right in front of everyone, she kisses him.

.

.

"I love you," ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?

A/N: Thanks for reading! Comments are welcome :)