Tali wished not for the first time that she were able to rub the sleep from her eyes. She and the rest of the ground crew had been pulled from their bunks about an hour ago, told that there was an attack on the human colony of Zhu's Hope on Feros and the Normandy was being hailed to assist. So now they were trying to wake up while approaching the planet. Tali wasn't sure about the others, but it was hard to mentally prepare for a firefight when she couldn't even open her eyes fully.
She looked around the cargo bay, noting that most of the others were similarly groggy. The one exception, funnily enough, was Mia. She'd been in the cockpit with Joker when the call had come through, Tali had heard. Joker was keeping her company, listening to music with her. Tali knew that was a love language for Mia. She also knew Mia was very much not okay. She'd spent the last few hours staring at a home world she couldn't call home despite desperately wanting to, and now they were zooming away to save some colony without even landing. Tali knew she wouldn't be okay, if they'd been that close to Rannoch.
But as she looked over to where Mia stood, working on the console on the Mako, she noticed that she didn't seem bothered. Mia was bobbing her head to the music playing in her earpiece, and clicking along in the console as if it were any other day and any other mission. Tali didn't understand how she did that. She noticed Garrus standing next to her, a cup of dextro coffee in his hand as he leaned against the Mako next to her. He looked worse for wear than she did, but Tali noticed that just being around her seemed to give him more energy. She really had that effect, didn't she? She'd noticed it with John, too. How he seemed to get a second wind whenever his sister smiled at him. She wished she could have that effect on someone.
Tali moved over to the Mako when she saw John enter the cargo bay, knowing his briefing would soon follow. She moved over to stand next to Mia, also knowing she'd be on her team. Mia had taken to Tali almost immediately, treating her like a little sister. And Tali felt the same way. They'd both been raised among the stars, off world, and for her, that created a bond that not many others shared. Mia understood the wanderlust and homesickness the quarian felt, Tali knew it. She saw it on her face when she saw her homeworld.
She looked around with a slight frown as Wrex joined them instead of Kaidan. She'd gotten used to working with the human man, as Mia almost always preferred him on her team with Tali. She had to admit, it was nice feeling useful. She liked working with Mia. At least she didn't fall all over herself when that Shepard smiled at her.
John came to stand in front of them in a parade rest. Oh, he was serious. Or maybe he was just tired.
"I've got some announcements before we get to Feros," John announced, and Tali noticed a demeanor shift in everyone. Mia's music clicked off and she stood up straight, clicking her visor into place over her earpiece. Garrus sat his coffee cup down on a table next to the Mako, and Wrex stretched as though warming up. Liara's focus had been on Shepard since he stepped off of the elevator, but she seemed to perk up with his presence.
Tali saw what was developing between John and Liara. She was trying to be happy for Liara. Of course John would want to be with a woman he could touch. She wasn't even an option. Why would she be? Every comment about flotilla life or reminder of her environmental suit told them that they shouldn't even consider it. Besides, she was pretty certain John saw her as nothing more than a kid sister, one of Mia's friends.
If it meant he cared about her, she'd take it. She thought John and Liara made a really cute couple. They calmed each other down. She was hardly more than a babbling teenager around him sometimes, and other times she looked at him like she'd been waiting a thousand lifetimes to meet him. No, Tali couldn't resent Liara. She could only be happy for her friends.
"There have been some promotions in the Alliance chain of command. I've been officially promoted to captain-" John started.
"About damn time," Mia muttered with a smile. John smiled at her but kept going as if she hadn't spoken.
"Shepard has been promoted to Commander," John said.
"As if that weren't confusing enough before," Garrus muttered and Mia and Tali stifled a laugh.
"And Alenko has been promoted to Lt. Commander." He finished.
"Where is Alenko, anyway?" Mia asked, a soft frown marking her features.
"He asked to sit this mission out," John said. "The L2s have been acting up, he's been having pretty constant migraines. He's gonna co-pilot with Joker for at least this mission." John informed her.
"I hope Kaidan is okay," Garrus murmured, his brow plates rubbing together.
"He's just too hard on himself, got a lot on his mind," John said, his voice affectionate. Tali knew John liked the man, just by how he spoke of him and his insistence on Noveria to get him checked out.
"That's alright," Mia said, surveying their team. "But I'm taking Liara. I'm down a biotic, and as lovely as you are, Wrex," Mia smiled over at the krogan, "He suits your fighting style just a little better." Mia assessed.
"Can't argue there," John chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest as she told him her team. Tali smiled behind her face shield, watching the man glow with pride in his sister. She wasn't even sure Mia saw it, but that man thought the world of her.
"Okay, guys, listen up. We're inbound to Feros, the colony of Zhu's Hope, specifically. Geth troops have been spotted on the ground- er, kind of. The colony is situated at the top of old Prothean skyscrapers. Anderson said the colony is very young. The planet is covered with ruins, about two-thirds of it. The colonists have been attempting to build upon what they left behind." John informed them.
"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" Tali asked the room.
"John has a way of making the most routine mission go weird. That's probably why," Mia teased.
"Hey, I didn't find the rachni egg, we were just the clean up crew," John laughed, rolling his eyes. "Come on, the Normandy should be pulling up to dock now," he told them, heading to the elevator.
June 29, 2183 CE Mia Shepard Normandy Comms Room- En Route to the Citadel 1200 hours "We're falling off the edge today. I am just a man, not superhuman." -Skillet, "Hero"
Feros had gone badly. Very badly. Mia looked around the comm room at her team, the shore party looking rather worse for wear. They'd had a hard fight and still had nothing to show for it.
Geth had burned Zhu's Hope to the ground by the time they got there. They killed the last squad of geth, who were literally shooting any signs of life they came across, and scanned the area for survivors. No life signs were found in the colony. John had signaled for a recovery vessel to come and clean up the mess while they slunk home with their tail between their legs.
Feros had been a colony two hundred strong at one point. And now it was just ash. They'd been too late. There hadn't even been data to recover, all the computers had been fried.
John was taking it hard, she knew. He'd been quiet ever since the battlefield calmed and Mia knew that wasn't a good sign. The relaxed, almost playful demeanor the crew had exhibited earlier that morning was long gone.
"I'm sorry, everyone," John said, settling down in his seat with a heavy sigh. "I should have made the call to investigate Feros before we helped Hackett with the situation on the moon. We had intel about geth activity on Feros. I shouldn't have waited for the distress call to act on it. Our team's failure today should not reflect upon any of you; you all did everything you could down there. I'll do my best to be more prepared in the future."
"Don't beat yourself up, Shepard," Garrus said softly at once.
"Garrus is right," Mia added, more firmly.
She had her arms crossed over her chest, leaning back in her chair. She was angry. She was pissed that the mission she'd led had interfered with the primary directive and cost lives. She was livid with Saren's treatment of Zhu's Hope. But above all, she was pissed by how poorly John was handling the loss as captain, and how much blame he was placing on himself for the outcome. She'd have thought John shot every one of those colonists himself if she didn't know better. And that left her angry . Normally when she was angry, she'd find something to shoot. That was hard to do during a debriefing.
"You had limited intel, various reports of geth, and about three leads that you were trying to pursue all at once. You're one man, Captain." She reminded him gently. "Things slip through."
"We can't let things like this slip through, Commander ." John said, rubbing a hand down his face. His tone spoke of higher command, and Mia bristled. He didn't really think he could catch every mistake in the galaxy, did he?
"Well it happens, John." Mia snapped, sitting up straight. "People fail. It fucking happens. It's not your fault. It's not your responsibility to make sure it doesn't happen. Sometimes, things just… fall apart. I know the Alliance likes to make you believe in this Captain America persona they're pushing on you, but at the end of day, John, failure is a possibility. We just experienced it."
"Earth needs us. Failure isn't even on the table," John said, his eyes on the floor. Mia saw his jaw tighten and her frown deepened.
"You can't fight if you're falling over from exhaustion, John. Trying to stop every mistake in the galaxy by yourself is a fool's errand and you know that! You told me that's why you were trying to get me promoted. You lost a battle, not the war. Hell, you didn't even lose the battle, we got there too late, there wasn't one!" Mia scoffed, throwing her hands into the air. "You've got to stop acting like Anderson's perfectionist XO and start acting like the leader we all know you are. You'd make a damn good captain if you let yourself be . "
"O-kay," Garrus said, sitting forward and holding up his hands to get the siblings to calm down. He turned to John first. "I understand why you feel responsible, Captain. Losing a colony is a hard defeat, and I'm sure you'll get an earful from Hackett. But Mia is right." He paused, looking over at her with a frown, "Well, sort of. Dwelling on what could have been done isn't getting us any closer to Saren. If you want to make sure their loss wasn't in vain, we need a clearer direction."
Mia bristled a bit at Garrus's words, but a look from her best friend calmed her. She was never sure how he did that, but his expression told her everything she needed to know: 'we'll talk about this later'. Fine. She looked up to see John slumped in his chair, staring at the floor with his arms still crossed over his chest. All the fire in him had seemingly died when Garrus had jumped in. She frowned, her heart breaking a bit for her brother.
"I- you're right," She said softly, looking at Garrus, then back to John. His head had snapped up at Mia's words. "I apologize for speaking out of turn, sir." Mia said, trying to meet John's eyes meaningfully. "I shouldn't have let my anger get the better of me."
"Thank you," John nodded at his sister, though his jaw was still tight and he still wouldn't look at her. He took a deep breath before continuing. "For the record, I'm sorry, too, and not because of the mission. You're right, Mia. I've not been acting very much like a captain lately. The sudden promotion after Eden Prime, becoming a Spectre, Saren… it's all happened so fast that it's been hard to acclimate."
"As it would be for anyone, Shepard," Liara defended. She'd been glaring daggers at Mia since Mia had opened her mouth. "None of us have had it as hard as you in this. The beacon, becoming a Spectre…it'd be hard for anyone. Please don't think we consider you weak for not being able to just figure things out. We all have learning curves."
Mia looked over at Garrus pleadingly. She just wanted to leave.
"I think you misunderstand me, Liara." John said, causing Mia to look back at him. "While that was the reason I've not been acting appropriately, it's absolutely not an excuse for that behavior. Commander Shepard is absolutely in the right for calling me out on my bullshit."
Mia tried not to do a double take while Liara looked like John had just slapped her.
"Wait, what?" She asked, eyes darting between John and Garrus.
"As your commanding officer, it is my responsibility to take charge of this ship. My hesitation cost us this mission. From here on in, we can't hesitate." John said, a determination settling into the place the doubt had been prior. Mia allowed the ghost of a smile to cross her face. "Thank you for getting pissed, Mia," He said, finally losing some of the tension with one of his goofy grins. "I've been moping around in this loss for too long. I can't do shit with despair. But anger? I can use anger."
"Damn right, you can." Garrus agreed, sitting back finally.
"If you two are finished with your pity parties," Wrex said from his place between Garrus and Kaidan. "We still have a turian to catch."
" Oh thank God, I felt like the kid listening to his parents fighting in the next room." Joker's voice cracked over the comms, and that finally earned a laugh from the whole crew, fully breaking the tension.
"Is there anything more we can learn from your visions, Shepard? The ones from the beacon?" Tali suggested.
"It's just a scrambled mess of images. Like corrupted data, almost. I can't make sense of it." John said, rubbing his head for a moment.
"Perhaps I could be of some assistance," Liara commented softly. "Asari have the ability to join our consciousness with another person. I am an expert on the Protheans. Perhaps, if I joined my consciousness with yours, I could help you decipher the meaning?"
"It's worth a shot." John said with a shrug. Mia had to admit, it was more than they had to go off now. They were inbound to the Citadel for urgent repairs, and were due to be docked for a week. They needed to figure out their direction before they got grounded.
Liara got to her feet and John joined her in the middle of the circle of chairs. She brushed her fingers along either side of his temple for just a moment and Mia saw John's face fully relax. That was rare, she had to admit. Maybe this asari was good for her brother.
"Try to relax." Liara muttered, her voice calm and soothing. "Slow, deep breaths. Let go of your physical shell. Reach out to grasp the threads that bind us, one to another. Every action sends ripples across the galaxy. Every idea must touch another mind to live. Each emotion must mark another's spirit. We are all connected. Every living being united in a single glorious existence. Open yourself to the universe." Liara murmured, then closed her eyes as if to center herself. Mia could only see her face in profile, but when she opened her eyes, they were solid black. " Embrace eternity."
Mia watched the pair quietly for a moment until Liara gasped, blinking rapidly as her eyes returned to their normal white.
"That was… incredible! All this time, all my research… I never dreamed… I am sorry. The images were so vivid. I never imagined the experience would be so… intense. You are remarkably strong-willed, Captain. What you have been through, what you have seen would have destroyed a lesser mind." Liara exclaimed.
Mia wanted to roll her eyes. She knew her brother was strong-willed, she didn't need an asari creeping through his brain to figure that out.
"What did you see?" Mia asked, trying desperately not to be defensive.
"The beacon on Eden Prime must have been badly damaged. Large parts of the vision are… are missing. Large parts of the data transferred into the captain's mind are incomplete." Liara said.
"Are you sure you didn't come across any kind of clue or hint?" John asked, almost desperately.
"Everything I saw, you already know." Liara said with a shake of her head. "You were right about the Reapers. And the feeling of warning. But I didn't see any other clues. Saren must have the missing information. Maybe he found another beacon. If we can find the missing data-"
"Wait, why would Saren have the missing information? Shepard was the one that the Captain pulled out of the beacon." Kaidan spoke up for the first time. Mia's heart soared, and her head whipped around to meet his eyes. He was defending her in public, and that alone spoke volumes for how he felt. She saw him flash her a reassuring glance, not quite a smile, but absolutely meant for her.
"You could try scanning my brain," Mia added.
"Why would we do that?" Liara asked, frowning as she turned to her.
"I had the visions, too, I just… didn't pass out. Maybe the data is corrupted or something. Maybe adding my part of the vision could… I don't know." Mia's voice got quieter and quieter the longer the asari stared at her, as though she'd just grown a second head.
"I thought you said Mia's visions were the same as yours?" Liara asked John, with a small frown.
"We compared our dreams when I first woke up, yeah. They seemed to line up pretty well," John told her, frowning at the asari. "It'd be worth a shot, I think."
"I-" Liara held a hand to her head, swaying on the spot for a moment. "I am sorry. The joining is exhausting. I should go to the medical bay and lie down for a moment."
Mia's face was a mask. She watched as John reached out to support Liara, a hand going to the small of her back. Yeah, that was professional. She shook her head and stared at the spot between her feet until she heard John dismiss the group. She made a beeline for the door, not making eye contact with anyone. She heard Kaidan call her name as she rounded the corner to the stairs. She didn't slow down. She headed straight to the showers, needing to decompress after such a loss. They'd be at the Citadel soon and she found herself actually glad for once for her tiny apartment. At least she knew she had her own bed and a shower with decent water pressure waiting for her.