May 23, 2172 CE
Dear John,
I'm so glad to hear you enlisted last month! On your birthday, of course, just like you always talked about. I can't wait until I turn eighteen and can leave this shithole station. Mom keeps telling me they'll probably make me do my training here on Jump Zero, but I can't figure out why they would. I'm not a biotic. Mom thinks I'd suck the least in tech, like her. I guess she has a point. Wants me to be an infiltrator if I'm going to enlist. I think she wants me to get set up with some cushy desk job like her, guarding the scientists.
Anyway, don't forget me when you go off and become some great hero, okay? I miss you, big brother.
Love, Mia
Dec 14, 2174 CE
Dear John,
I enlisted in the Marines! My recruiter knew Mom, of course. Everyone on this damn station knows Mom. I think she pulled some strings to get my training done on Arcturus Station. Wanted to keep me closer to home. I asked her about it and she just guilt tripped me, asked why I wanted to get away from her. It wasn't worth the fight.
I got my birthday gift, by the way! A RetroTech Walkman and the Beatles White Album. You know me so well.
I can't believe I did it! I'm finally an adult. Maybe we can meet up when our shore leaves overlap sometime. It's been years since I've seen you. I just want my brother back.
Love, Mia
August 21, 2176 CE
Dear John,
I heard about the Blitz. Reports were all over the place, are you alright? Hope to hear from you soon.
Love, Mia
August 28, 2176 CE
Dear John,
Got your last message. Looks like you made a bit of hero out of yourself in the Blitz, if the vids are anything to go off. My brother, a big war hero. Don't let the admirals push you too hard, bro. I'd love to hear some stories sometime. I'm sure you have a ton.
Love, Mia
September 4, 2176 CE
Dear John,
Haven't heard from you lately. Must have a million admirals in your inbox trying to kiss your ass. I get it, big brother. I just hope you're sleeping enough. Make sure you eat today, please.
Love, Mia
October, 4 2176 CE
Dear John,
I tried giving you space after the Blitz, but I miss you too much. I'm gonna keep sending these messages. I hope that's okay. I don't mean to annoy you or anything, I just like knowing you're alive and out there somewhere.
Mom got herself reassigned to Arcturus Station when she heard I'd been assigned to the First Fleet after my training. Said she wanted to keep an eye on me. I can't tell her not to do that or she questions why I want to leave her. I think you were right about the N7 program. I think it's time.
Make sure you're eating and sleeping. I know you had an insomniac streak when we were kids.
Love, Mia
October 30, 2176 CE
Dear John,
Passed my infiltrator courses officially today! Getting my new assignment soon. Just saved up to get a new Widow as a present to myself.
I've got a date with this guy tomorrow. Might cancel on him. I think I was WAY too drunk when I agreed to it, honestly.
Hope you're doing okay. Make sure you're taking care of yourself.
Love, Mia
May 17, 2177 CE
Dear John,
I think I'm going to die here. My whole unit is gone, I've got no food, no supplies. Thresher Maws hunting me day and night. I can't go on, big brother. I'm going climb a ridge in the distance in the morning, see if I can get a signal out. I just hope this message saves in my drafts… that they find my body. I love you, big brother. I'm not gonna stop fighting. Not yet.
Love, Mia
May 31, 2177 CE
I'm alive. Yeah, I don't know how either. Tell you about it sometime?
June 20, 2180 CE
Dear John,
Passed my N4 course. Got selected for some cross-species training thing off-planet. Anything to get away from Mom. I'll be on Palaven for a few months, if you need me. Though I'm not sure why you would.
Make sure you're eating enough. I had one of my crew members pass out the other day because she wasn't eating. Don't be like her.
Love, Mia
April 11, 2181 CE
Dear John,
Happy birthday! I'm attaching that vid of Dad singing to you when you turned 8. I don't know if you have it, but it's one of my favorites. I miss him, John. And you.
I graduated from the program today. I wish I'd seen you there, but I knew I wouldn't when I saw your ship was out of the system. I miss you.
Love, Mia
July 10, 2183 CE John Shepard Normandy Comms Room 0300 hours
John looked up from his datapad, rubbing his eyes trying to fight back the tears. He regretted a lot of the time he had spent running away from his mother. Moreover, he regretted not being a better brother to Mia, the girl who so clearly deserved it. Even when she was going through the worst shit of her life, she was reminding him to eat. He couldn't even muster up a reply to her. She had so much love to give, and he… he just pushed people away.
Not anymore. He was going to do everything in his power to make sure that now that he had his sister back, she wasn't going anywhere. He couldn't live with himself if something happened to her. Not after all the hell she'd made it through on her own.
A knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts, and he ran a hand over his face to steady himself. He glanced up at the clock and knew there was only one person who would be around his office this time of night.
"Come in," He called, and was unsurprised to see Garrus ducking into his office. "Trouble sleeping again, Vakarian?" He smirked up at the taller man. Garrus had been making a habit of swinging by his cabin late at night for the past week or so. He'd been grateful for the company, because the myriad of missions they'd been on since shore leave ended abruptly almost a week ago meant even more paperwork than normal. And here he was, neglecting the paperwork to read through his sister's old emails. He shook his head a bit to clear it, looking up at the turian who was taking a seat in front of him.
"I could ask you the same, Shepard." Garrus chuckled as he sank down into the seat with a sigh. "Reports still? You're going to drown in paperwork at this rate."
"Probably, but that's not what's keeping me up." John said, chewing the inside of his cheek as he turned over the idea of opening up to Garrus. He and Garrus had taken down a doctor who was illegally cloning organs, Garrus's 'one that got away' at C-Sec, earlier that week. Though the doctor had gone down in a blaze of glory, John taught him an important lesson about trying to have better morals. He sensed a kindred spirit in Garrus, knew that the man had it in him to be one of the best people, regardless of species, that he'd ever had the pleasure of serving with.
And as far as John was aware, Garrus felt the same. They'd both been there to bring each other back from the edge. Brothers in arms in the truest sense. It's why he felt so damn bad about lying to him about missions. He tried to rationalize it as a lie of omission, but it didn't make him feel better.
He'd taken Wrex and Kaidan in the Normandy's shuttle, told the others they were going after Wrex's family armor. And they did. But he didn't tell them that they had another pit stop to make. Admiral Kahoku's message that'd come through just before Noveria, about Cerberus being linked to the Thresher Maw attack on Akuze, had turned out to be true. He'd followed the coordinates to a planet called Edolus in the Artemis Tau cluster, discovered an Alliance distress beacon that was actively pinging, leading directly to a dead squad being circled by a Maw. They took the monster out from the Mako, Kaidan doing the shooting, and recovered data from the scene for the admiral.
He didn't want his sister to know yet. He'd left her in charge with Tali, Liara, and Garrus with orders to crank through the UNC missions that were piling up in John's email. He knew if she discovered who was behind the attack that killed her men, she wouldn't stop until every last Cerberus agent was dead, and he didn't need his sister becoming a mass murderer. So he'd taken the two people he knew wouldn't tell her: the krogan merc, and her boyfriend.
That had been a fun dynamic to get used to, that was for sure. Kaidan, though older than him, had ended up being much like a younger brother in many ways. His bio-amps were giving him issues, and his struggle with that was one John sympathized with more than most people, as a biotic himself. He was lucky, he'd gone through the Academy and hadn't gotten shipped off to Brain Camp on Jump Zero. He was honestly surprised that he and Mia hadn't met on the station, but then, they treated those kids like prisoners for the majority of their training, he knew that from talking to Kaidan.
"It's Mia, isn't it?" Garrus asked, snapping John back to the present. He looked up at the turian's face with a frown. "You always get that look when you're worrying about her, Shepard. You'd be terrible at Skyllian Five with a poker face like that, you know." John actually laughed at that, then scrolled up to the top of the email chain, silently passing it to the turian. Garrus frowned, but took the datapad without question, reading through the emails. John watched his expression turn from confusion, to understanding, to almost sorrowful. When he handed the datapad back, he met John's eye.
"You never replied?" He asked, though the paper trail was very clear about that. He heard the question that he didn't ask: ' Why didn't you reply?'
"Not after the Blitz. I sent her one last message to let her know I was alive, and then promptly got swept up in my own N7 training, ended up serving as an officer on a tiny ship in the 63rd scout flotilla under Anderson. That man has a way of acquiring assets unlike any I've ever seen." John admitted.
"I know the type," Garrus said, meeting John's eyes meaningfully. "You're more like him than you realize, John." He told him.
"I should have done more for her," He said, shaking his head. "Like Anderson did for me. I ran away to the military and left my kid sister with our abusive mother for years and I justified it to myself by saying I was making a difference in the galaxy. What does anything I've done in the Alliance mean if I couldn't even save her?"
"You can't change how you handled things in the past, Shepard. You can only adjust how you react in the present, and try to do better in the future. Didn't you say something like that to me once?" Garrus smirked, leaning back in his chair. John had told him exactly that on a ship somewhere in the Kepler Verge just days before, staying his hand from killing the mad scientist.
"Aye, I suppose I did," John allowed, letting himself relax a bit.
"And you're doing everything in your power to keep her safe now. I see that, the whole crew does. Between you and Alenko, she's perfectly safe, at least from your mother." Garrus told him. John frowned at that, cocking his head to the side.
"Why didn't you include yourself in that? She's your best friend, right?" John asked. Garrus looked to the floor for a moment, frowning.
"She is, but how much does a best friend matter when someone's in a relationship?" Garrus said, almost shrugging it off.
"You're my best friend, and despite Liara, I happen to think you matter quite a lot." John said, crossing his arms over his chest. Garrus looked up at that, his face softening at the captain's words.
"That means a lot, Shepard." Garrus told him, then he leaned forward. "Your sister is special to me. I care for her a lot and would follow her to the ends of the galaxy. But she doesn't need me to protect her. Watch her back? Gladly, any day. She's got someone else to run to when her world is falling apart, though." He sighed, and John studied the turian carefully, thinking over how to approach this.
He'd known for some time that Garrus was into Mia. He'd been pretty positive that that had been her hesitation with Kaidan, as well. When Mia had told him about Garrus giving her a pep talk and arranging her date with Kaidan, he'd had suspicions. Had he been setting up Mia and Kaidan because he didn't think he had a chance? Was he just not into humans in that way, but cared about her a lot? So many questions circled his mind but as he looked into his friend's eyes, he knew what the man needed to hear.
"She could always use someone else to run to, you know. Like she did after Noveria." John pointed out. "You stood up for her then against both of us, likely in spite of our respective relationships to her." Garrus's expression softened further and he nodded.
"She makes me want to be a better person. Her passion is intoxicating, and she loves so hard . I don't know how she does it, after everything she's been through." Garrus shook his head, a fond smile finding its way onto his features.
"I understand," John smiled at his friend. "Why'd you set her up with Kaidan?" He asked, rather suddenly. The other man took a moment to think about his response, and while John wasn't quite as versed at reading turian subvocals, he'd spent enough time with the other man that he was learning how to read specifically Garrus quite well.
"She deserves someone that makes her happy. Someone like her. They're good for each other." He said, and while John could hear the man trying to contain his subvocals, he heard the sorrow resonating there. John couldn't argue with his reasoning. He didn't want to speak on Mia's behalf- he wasn't entirely sure about her feelings on the turian- but John needed Garrus to know how much he meant to her.
"She has a playlist of songs that remind her of you," John confided, and Garrus looked shocked at that information. "She only does that when someone matters, Vakarian. Remember that." Garrus smiled at that, nodding at the other man.
"I will, Captain." Garrus said, though he frowned slightly. "Why are you telling me this, though?"
"I just don't want you to throw in the towel yet. Her and Kaidan… their relationship didn't get off to the best start. I don't want to jinx anything, but I just want you to know that she may need a best friend more sometimes." He confided, and Garrus's face lit up with understanding.
"You don't trust him, either?" Garrus questioned, arching a brow.
"On a battlefield, I'd trust Kaidan with my life," John started, but then his eyes slipped to his desk. "My sister's heart is no place for a battlefield, though." John saw Garrus nod knowingly out of his peripherals.
"That it's not," Garrus sighed, then got to his feet. "We'd better get some rest. Any idea what mission the morning brings?"
"I've a pile of backlogged missions that no one else in the Alliance is qualified to handle, according to the Admiral. I'm sure we'll find ourselves on some colony infested with those damn husks somehow." He sighed.
"Never cease to creep you out, do they?" Garrus shook his head. "Get some rest, Captain. I'm sure we'll need it."