As it turned out, Naruto excelled at meddling. The first thing he'd done was throw Sasuke a welcome-back-to-Konoha party. Naruto thought reintroducing him to their social circle would be the best way to ensure he and Sakura interacted. His plan was effective in that Sasuke did spend time around Sakura. It was wildly unpleasant in the fact that Sasuke also had to spend an ungodly amount of time with a bunch of other ghosts from his past who he cared much less about.
That first time they saw each other again had been awkward. The entire interaction had almost made Sasuke want to pack up and forget the whole thing. Sakura came to the party and hadn't exactly ignored him, but she seemed to maintain a frustrating distance from him. Every time he got near her, she made an excuse and disappeared. It was obvious she was hesitant to be around him. He had wanted to show her that he was different. He was nice. He wouldn't follow her around when she wasn't interested, though.
The next time he saw her, there were fewer people around, and Sakura was more or less forced to interact with him. Hinata's little sister was getting married, so she had left to spend the day wedding dress shopping. This meant Naruto was on full-time dad duty. He convinced Sakura to come over to help him by acting like an incapable idiot, and he convinced Sasuke to come by telling him Sakura would be there.
When Sasuke arrived at Naruto's house, Sakura was cooing over the baby while it lay on a play mat. Naruto sat on the other side of the mat using an intolerable baby voice.
"Oh, Sasuke," Sakura said looking up at the doorway in surprise.
"Naruto didn't tell you I was coming." It was more of a statement than a question.
Naruto rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, ignoring Sakura's pointed glare.
"No, but it's good to see you," Sasuke questioned the sincerity of her statement, but he walked toward the living room where they both sat on the rug by the play mat and squirming infant.
He sat on the couch a few feet away and stared down at Boruto, who lay blissfully unaware of the boundless tension bathing the air.
"Are you actually going to hold him this time?" Naruto mocked, though Sasuke knew he was attempting to lighten the atmosphere.
Sasuke grimaced and observed how the pudgy blonde creature gurgled and babbled. Did he have to? It's not that he was repulsed or anything like that. He just knew that humans were fairly delicate at this stage, and he didn't want to be the one to break it. He had heard you had to support the head. What happened if you didn't?!
Naruto smirked at his apparent discomfort and pulled Boruto into his arms, "You don't have to look so terrified."
"I'm not terrified," Sasuke rolled his eyes but internally panicked as Naruto forced the infant onto his lap. Sasuke stiffened and remained as still as possible, trying not to jostle the baby and cause its head to fall off.
He only looked up when he heard Sakura giggling, clearly at his expense. He glared, for once less worried about impressing Sakura with his newfound "kindness" and more focused on preserving the life of the pint-sized boy on his lap.
"I'm sorry," she attempted to hide her grin under her hand. "You can breathe, though. He's not going to spontaneously combust,"
"Have you ever held a baby before?" Naruto asked. As if not having held one was the most ridiculous scenario he could imagine.
Sasuke scoffed. "When would I have ever held a baby? Not all of us are obstetricians," he gave Sakura a pointed look, trying to maintain some dignity.
Naruto snorted, "Hey, I don't know what you did for the last ten years of your life,"
An awkward silence filled the air, and he saw Sakura avoiding his gaze. He was extremely grateful when Boruto made one of his weird noises, and their attention was redirected.
After that, he saw Sakura at Naruto's house several times in the following weeks. With a baby, it was usually the most practical option. Naruto had always reviled being alone, so any time Hinata had to leave for a few hours, he'd invite people over.
To Sasuke's annoyance, Sakura sometimes wasn't even there. She worked erratic hours, and Naruto's assurance that he'd invite her didn't mean she'd actually come.
Usually, the more people there were, the harder it was for Sasuke. He tried his best to be grateful for Naruto's efforts, but sometimes, his introversion overwhelmed him.
It was no surprise that one of those overwhelming introverted times occurred when he'd been talked into going clubbing.
Being sober at a club was like watching Sesame Street as an adult. The magic was lost, and instead, everything seemed kind of creepy, and everyone's voices were wildly obnoxious. The music wasn't nearly as enjoyable.
He watched stoically as the inhibitions of his acquaintances unraveled. He couldn't help but cringe in vicarious embarrassment as he watched people make fools of themselves.
People said you shouldn't need drugs or alcohol to have fun, but Sasuke never expected to have fun at clubs. Before he was sober, he didn't drink at clubs to have fun—he drank to survive. He drank because the crowds were suffocating and the loud music was intolerable. It had never really been about having a good time but more about getting through the night.
He hadn't been to a club since before his arrest and genuinely hadn't anticipated returning to one. He gave in to Naruto's begging pretty quickly, though. It had been several weeks since he had seen Sakura. She and Naruto were busy with their own lives, and he worried he'd never get a chance to spend time with her.
Aside from encounters Naruto managed to arrange, he didn't run into her the way he expected to, and he hadn't expected her to avoid him the way she did.
Sasuke sat outside the club, trying to give his ears a break from the cacophony of Lil Jon assaulting his ear canals. It felt stupid that he'd even come. Sakura was there, but it was impossible to talk to anyone inside, and he wasn't about to dance. He had been moping outside, accepting that the night was a bit of a failure when he saw a familiar flash of pink in his peripheral vision exiting the side door of the club.
"There you are," she said as if she'd been looking for him—which was strange because she hadn't talked to him once that night—hadn't even said hi.
"You okay?" He asked, standing to grab her elbow as she stumbled. She laughed, hardly noticing her misstep.
"I'm great." She declared, her inebriated state underscored by her unreasonable enthusiasm. "That last shot might have been a mistake, though," She giggled, taking the spot on the curb of the parking lot next to Sasuke. "Naruto was wondering where you went,"
"He sent you out here alone?" A twinge of worry laced his words.
"I'm sure he actually knew you were out here. He's been conspiring to make us spend time together. If you hadn't noticed." She stated matter-of-factly, catching Sasuke off guard.
He should have known Naruto's attempts would be completely transparent. Hopefully, she didn't realize Naruto's schemes had been on Sasuke's behalf.
Sasuke nodded, not sure what to say to that. Her shoulder rubbed his as she shifted in her spot and drew her knees in closer to her body.
The beat of silence between them felt normal in the darkness, but alas, in Sakura's drunken state, the relative quiet outside the club was never meant to be.
"Is it hard to be around all this alcohol sober?" She asked, staring at a broken beer bottle wedged behind a concrete parking barrier several feet away.
"The alcohol doesn't really bother me." He shrugged. It had never truly been a substance he'd abused, but he had cut it out regardless when he started his recovery journey. He would never trust himself with addictive vices like drugs or alcohol again. "It's just the crowd,"
"You've always liked your space," she laughed softly. He wondered if the bitterness he detected was real or if his paranoid mind was projecting his fears.
"I probably overstated that with you," he grimaced, looking down at his shoes instead of whatever expression was waiting for him on her face.
He thought of the times he'd brushed her off, made it seem like he didn't want her around. He thought of the times he forced her away with his rough words. Words he rarely meant and never apologized for.
He heard her sigh and looked over to see her face tilted toward the dark sky, her hair tousled and sexy, rolling down her back, even though the smooth curls she'd walked into the club with that night had fallen. "Next, you're gonna try to convince me you didn't actually think I was annoying," the words tumbled out of her mouth with an exasperated chuckle, and she dropped her eyes long enough to fix him with an accusing stare.
Sasuke smirked and followed her gaze as it moved back to the sky. Only a handful of stars were visible. Most were covered by clouds and light pollution. "Nah, you were definitely annoying," he said, keeping his words soft and light with humor.
Part of him desperately wanted to hold her hand in his. To squeeze it so she knew he wasn't too serious. He wanted to brush the messy strands of pink hair away from her face so she'd look at him and see in the depths of his eyes that it was never about her. It was always about fear.
He didn't want to cross the fragile boundaries between them, though, so he didn't reach for her hand or the soft lock of pink. "You made it hard to leave." He murmured quietly instead, hoping she'd understand.
Sasuke watched as Sakura's second attempt at toasting a marshmallow ended in charred failure. It had caught on fire and burnt so thoroughly that it fell off the stick and landed into the smoldering ash below.
He couldn't suppress an amused sound from sneaking out of his mouth as her lips curved into a petulant frown.
They sat several feet apart on flimsy folding chairs, surrounding a slowly dwindling campfire.
Instead of bachelor and bachelorette parties, Shikamaru and his fiance Temari had invited all of their friends on a joint camping trip. Sasuke was positive Naruto had talked Shikamaru into inviting him because he'd only talked to the guy a handful of times since returning to Konoha. Sasuke found this incredibly awkward, but Naruto wouldn't take no for an answer, even when Sasuke reminded him he wasn't even invited to the wedding.
Naruto was an infuriating but relentless wingman. As annoyed as he was, he also reminded himself to be appreciative. Without Naruto, he would hardly ever see Sakura.
Sakura glared at him and pouted, "Whatever. I probably don't need another one anyway."
Still holding back a smirk, Sasuke stood and moved to a chair next to Sakura, grabbing a skewer and a new marshmallow on his way over.
"Watch and learn," he teased, piercing the fluffy candy with the edge of the skewer.
She watched quietly, sulking as he expertly toasted the marshmallow to bronze perfection. Everyone else had retreated to their tents for the night, tired from an evening of heavy drinking. Of course, Sasuke had abstained, and he'd watched Sakura take small sips throughout the night—still nursing her third beer, rolling the bottle between her fingers.
She had said she was going to finish making her s'more before going to bed. Sasuke had stayed, too, not wanting to leave her alone in the dark. He had also noticed she'd been quieter than usual—more contemplative than she usually was around friends.
Pulling the flawless marshmallow specimen from the fire, he handed her the skewer as she set her beer onto one of the large stones that encircled the fire pit.
"I don't understand how you're so freaking good at everything. You don't even like s'mores." She huffed, lips twitching as she stifled a small smile.
He watched as she layered a Hershey's bar on top of a graham cracker and topped it with the gooey marshmallow. He'd admit his execution was impeccable but wasn't remotely interested in eating it. He exhaled and looked into the ebbing flames. "You know I'm not."
She rolled her eyes. "You're ridiculous. You're literally the most effortless perfectionist I've ever met,"
He knew what she was talking about, of course. Sasuke was competent. He was efficient. He was athletic and coordinated, smart and analytical. He was good at mundane tasks like driving, cooking, and doing his taxes on time.
Still, just because he could toast a marshmallow didn't mean he was good at the things that mattered.
"I suck at holding babies, apparently," he mumbled with a huff, trying to divert his attention from his insecurities. The big ones he tried so hard to move on from.
She laughed and gestured to the messily assembled s'more she had just bitten into, "You want a bite?" She asked, grinning.
"You know I don't" he smiled. She'd always been horrified by his disdain for dessert.
"Maybe you're not quite as proficient with babies, but I bet you'll be good with your own. If you want them," she added after a moment.
Ahh, speaking of things he'd be terrible at: a never-ending commitment requiring patience, communication, and empathy.
Everything Sakura did effortlessly, incidentally.
He noticed her shiver slightly, and wrap her arms around herself after she'd finished brushing graham cracker crumbs off her leggings.
"Here," he passed her the hoodie he had taken off earlier when he'd sat down by the fire. It was almost winter, but Sasuke didn't need more than his long-sleeved shirt while the fire was going—even if it would be little more than embers soon.
"Oh— are you sure? You don't need it?" She unfolded it hesitantly.
"Nah, I'm good," he leaned away from her so she couldn't pass it back to him. "But in exchange, you have to tell me why you've been so quiet all night."
She sighed, slipping her arms into the soft fabric and zipping it up to her neck, letting the excess length of the sleeves nearly cover her fingers. He brushed off the realization that after all this time, he still loved seeing her in his clothes.
"It's nothing serious," she breathed, reaching for her beer.
He stared at her expectantly, and she let out a defeated breath, playing with the extra fabric in her hands.
"It's honestly kind of weird to talk about with you."
Sasuke still didn't say anything, instead opting to look at her intently with one brow raised.
"It's just weird. It's the second time I'll be going to an ex's wedding," she flashed him an uncomfortable smile, "at least I'm not in it this time."
Sasuke observed the way she glowed in the orange light, her normally pink hair the colors of a sunset. He reluctantly put the pieces of information together, trying to keep a blank face.
She had dated Shikamaru?
"Is there anyone on this trip you haven't dated?" He said before he could stop himself.
Sasuke's eyes widened in horror, immediately realizing what a fucked up thing that was to say. His eyes darted to her face, expecting to see fury, but he was shocked to see an exasperated smile on her lips.
"I've literally been asking myself that all night," she groaned, letter her hands cover her face, "to be fair, I technically never dated you,"
Sakura still smiled, but the words fucking stung. Sasuke had always felt like their time together had been such a big deal, but it hadn't even been an official relationship.
Suddenly, he felt unimportant.
He was supposed to be the only one who knew her like that. He had always felt possessive of Sakura. No matter how much time had passed, she was his.
But maybe he wasn't hers in the same way. Maybe he was just one of her several exes she couldn't escape.
If she had technically never even dated him, did that make theirs the least serious relationship she'd been in?
The thought made his stomach sink and his teeth clench because those secret moments together had been everything to him.
He tried to push back on the intrusive thought. At least it kind of said something that she was willing to go to Naruto and Shikamaru's weddings. It meant she was probably over them and happy for them.
He couldn't imagine going to Sakura's wedding. No matter how much he wanted the best for her, he didn't think he could watch her love someone else.
"At least Kiba couldn't come…" he heard her mutter into the fire. She must have noticed the grimace on Sasuke's face because she quickly blurted, "I swear, you four are the only guys I've dated—or whatever—"
Or whatever. Sasuke thought in horror.
"—I know it's kind of pathetic," she continued after a pause, "all of these people I've known forever- in the same friend group. I probably should have left Konoha at some point."
Sasuke nodded absently, suppressing every angry, jealous, depressing thought that flared in the recesses of his mind. He tried to think of something neutral to say.
It was weird to hear about the guys she'd dated. He didn't get the vibe she was trying to upset him or make him jealous. It was just the reality of living in a small town, dating people she'd known since childhood and would likely know for the rest of her life.
He was relieved when Sakura spared him from the discomfort of his own thoughts by changing the subject.
"You know what's really weird?" She murmured, amusement apparent in her voice.
"What?" Sasuke asked, little emotion in his voice, as he looked at her now curled up in the folding chair. She was facing him, knees drawn up to her chest, and her chin rested on her palms, still covered by the too-long sleeves of his hoodie.
"You still smell the same," Sakura laughed, reaching to her side to sip her beer.
"What?" Sasuke asked, caught off guard, but entertained by the bashfulness that washed over her. "What do I smell like?"
He watched as she lifted the sleeve of his hoodie back up to her face and inhaled before succumbing to embarrassment.
"I don't know," she mumbled, hiding her face in her hands, "just like Sasuke."
He loved the smile that formed on her lips as she stifled a giggle. He could have worried she'd meant something negative, but he knew from the look in her eyes that she was referring to something more nostalgic than unpleasant.
"I'm going to assume based on your forthcomingness that this isn't an insult?" He smirked.
He watched with his heart beating just a bit faster as she drew her lip between her teeth and shook her head, grinning as she let her hands drop back down to yer lap.
"What about me, do I smell different?" She asked with a playfulness he'd missed.
"I'm not smelling you," he shook his head, exasperated and amused.
"You still get flustered so easily," her quiet laugh melodic and teasing.
"I do not get flustered," he mumbled, bitter that it was such a transparent lie as heat spread up his neck to the tips of his ears. He'd always been able to school his features, but it was harder to control the traitorous tendency his blood had to pool into his face.
"Yes you do! Your cheeks are all pink," she beamed looking beautiful and vexing.
He felt threads of the connection that had always drawn them together tug at his heartstrings, and he just knew her other relationships hadn't been like theirs.
They couldn't have been.
"I should probably go to bed." she turned her face away from his gaze, and sighed before rising from her chair.
He nodded and watched her as she stretched, gathered her things, and cleaned up the s'mores ingredients from around the fire pit. After a few quiet minutes, she spared him a tenuous smile and a soft 'goodnight' before walking into the darkness to unzip her tent.
Sasuke stayed awake for a long time after that.
He stared into what remained of the fire and contemplated the hold she still had on his fragile heart. He had broken hers, and now she had the power to shred his.
He'd never allowed himself to hope for anything permanent with her when he was younger, and his willful misery as a teen had felt like a protection. Self-inflicted heartache had felt safer at the time.
He knew now that he had been wrong. Misery was misery now matter it's origins. Still, it didn't stop a familiar sense of fear and vulnerability from permeating him as he stared into the last few flames in a trance-like state.
He recalled moments of their conversation, mulling over new pieces of information. He sat with his resentment of her subsequent relationships, trying to reassure himself of his own significance within her life.
He knew he had been a source of negativity for her—abandonment, insecurity, and dejection.
He only hoped that the years of friendship and love, no matter how nebulous they were, had stuck with her the same way they had followed him to each new stage of his life.
He remembered the night he came back to Konoha. He'd asked her if she'd ever felt the same way for anyone else after he'd left.
He comforted himself by letting her answer replay in his mind.
She hadn't.
The intensity and passion and connection they'd had was inimitable. There had been fire and love and magic between them, even if he had tried to stomp it out.
He spent the last few moments before going to bed staring at the slowly diminishing wavering glow of what had earlier been a roaring bonfire. The exceptional flames from earlier had left behind mostly ashes and charcoal. A lone smoldering flame lingered and Sasuke watched as it flickered and fought to die out with the rest of the fire. He felt a chill wash over him as the warmth of the blaze disappeared despite the resilient sparks.
He wondered as the cold bathed over him, how long a flame could last if left untended.
As always, thanks for reading and thanks for your patience. I've been switching off between this and one of my other fics.
This chapter is meant to portray a little bit of time passing and some opportunities for Sasuke and Sakura to spend time together. Every time I've tried to estimate how many chapters are left, I've been wrong, but maybe this times the charm? I'm gonna guess 2 more...
Your reviews always mean A LOT, so please share your thoughts if you're willing :)