Liquor and Scrambled Eggs

The shot of whiskey burned its way down Raphane's throat before crashing into her gut and going off like a smoke powder bomb, lighting a fire in her belly that radiated out to her extremities. She winced and coughed at the impact.

"Good stuff, right?" asked the tiefling on the other side of the makeshift bar, a cobbled-together mess of traveling chests and crates on top of which had been piled a veritable hoard of bottles that would have been the envy of any alcoholic dragon, but only so long as its palette lacked any degree of sophistication or taste. "Now if you like that. I'll knock up something really special for you." He took Raphane's mug and then his hands became a blur as they went about mixing the contents of various bottles.

Raphane looked away while the bartender worked, her eyes going to the far side of the camp, where Karlach was talking to a trio of other tieflings who had been camped at the grove. Going by her wild gesticulations, Raphane guessed the berserker was almost certainly telling a story. The past few days had seen the defeat of Dror Ragzlin and the total route of the goblins who had been under his command, clearing the way for the tieflings who had been encamped at the Grove to move on to better things. There was plenty about which to boast.

"We haven't known each other for long, but I put my life in your hands every day and I've never trusted anyone more with it-"

"How long are you going to practice that?" asked Astarion, "You should hardly be reciting a wedding proposal at this stage of the game, darling." Seeing Raphane's surprised expression as the druid's head snapped in his direction, he explained, "If you're trying to have an internal monologue, don't move your lips either. Oh, and the staring is a giveaway as well." His eyes followed to where Raphane's eyes had been focused. "Karlach? Really? Aren't you worried she'd break you in half or incinerate you? That hobgoblin she caught in a bear hug yesterday: reduced to ashes in seconds."

"I'd never have guessed I could be jealous of a pile of ashes before," Raphane admitted wistfully, then accepted the mixed concoction from the bartender and took a swift drink.

"And what is this need to fortify yourself with liquid courage? I wouldn't have guessed you were afraid of anything, given your willingness to be seen in those clothes or with your hair done like that."

"What's wrong with my hair?" Raphane blurted out, clutching at a few locks protectively before scrutinizing them.

"Oh, nothing," said Astarion, "But I do wonder what happened to the birds that must have been nesting in it."

Raphane shot an appalled look at Astarion that quickly hardened. She raised a hand as if to emphasize a point she was about to make before instead grabbing Astarion's drink from his hand and splashing it on his face before dropping the glass and stomping off.

"Well I sincerely hope you're happy," the elf cried after Raphane, "this stuff doesn't come out, you know!"

"Bastard," muttered Raphane as she walked away, "Should have driven a stake through his heart." She dropped down on a log and took a long drink. "Still might." She said as she lowered her drink and cast another look in Karlach's direction. The other tieflings had moved on. Karlach was sitting by herself, taking a sip from a large mug.

"Um. Hello?"

The voice was quiet and tentative, but coming from nowhere and yet so close it made Raphane jump anyhow. "Oh-uh-hi!" she managed, teeth clenched and turned on the log to see a festively dressed tiefling girl with bright orange eyes. The bard. Alfira, Raphane remembered her name with an effort. "Nice to see you here."

Alfira looked confused, "You sat next to me."

Raphane's face flushed with embarrassment as her eyes shot wide, "Did I? I didn't see you."

"Or hear me even?" asked Alfira with a nervous not-quite-a laugh, holding her lute.

"Uhh-"

Alfira shifted uncomfortably. "I should-erm. Go."

"No," said Raphane, putting a hand on Alfira's shoulder as the bard was about to stand up. "I'm not about to kick you off your log. And you play beautifully. I'm just out of sorts. Astarion's an ass and now his being an ass has me behaving like an ass."

"Oh, are you and Astarion together?" asked Alfira.

"Gods and hells below, no!" answered Raphane, loudly enough to make Alfira flinch. "Sorry." She looked over her shoulder in Karlach's direction, "It's Karlach. I've been trying to work up the nerve all night to tell her how I feel about her. Nearly had it until Astarion opened his damned mouth."

"Oh," said Alfira in a sympathetic tone.

Raphane looked back at the bard and asked earnestly, "Does my hair look alright? Do these clothes?"

Alfira looked suddenly alarmed. "They look very comfortable," she said, politely.

"Damn," moaned Raphane, deflating, "not exactly any clothiers out here in the wilds. I was wearing quality clothes when I was abducted but after everything they just smelled like Illithid fluids no matter how many times I washed them. Finally got frustrated and sent them downriver," her nose wrinkled in disgust.

Alfira smiled, "Raphane-do you mind if I call you that-sorry, silly, nevermind, but Karlach wears scraps of leather-"

"But she looks so good in them!" interrupted Raphane.

"What I mean," Alfira continued helpfully, "I really don't think she cares all that much what you're wearing."

"You're probably right," said Raphane sheepishly. "Thank you for listening. I'm going to go talk to her." She looked once more in Karlach's direction only to see that the red tiefling wasn't at her tent anymore.

Karlach let out a sigh and sat down as the tieflings left once she was done regaling them with an only slightly exaggerated account of the past days' heroics.

She tilted back her mug, felt the last few drops of ale slide down her throat. She looked down into the mug to confirm what she already knew: empty.

Karlach looked over to the stash of kegs, barrels and bottles. The party was thick around it. A veritable gauntlet of handshakes, friendly backslaps and hugs; all of which Karlach was getting increasingly tired of having to deny and then explain the denial.

She looked around herself to see if there was anyone nearby she could go ask to top off her mug. No such luck.

Her scanning eyes stopped on a white shadow in the night with a ball clenched between its teeth.

"Heya, Scratch," Karlach greeted the white furred dog.

Scratch dropped the ball in front of Karlach then wagged his tail enthusiastically. The dog had learned some time ago not to get too close. Karlach smiled, picked up the ball and threw it. The white dog ran off into the shadows by the river. Then, a few seconds later, the ball bounced back ahead of the bounding dog.

Curious, Karlach stood and wandered in the direction the ball had been tossed from only to find Wyll standing alone by the river.

"Wyll," Karlach addressed him, "What are you doing out here by yourself? The party's that way," she said, pointing over her shoulder.

"Karlach," he greeted her, "I'm happy for the people we've helped. They deserve a night free from worry. I… don't want to unsettle them."

"Unsettle them? What d'you mean?" asked Karlach, stepping closer.

"These horns, claws, scales. It'd be enough to put anyone off," he said, running a clawed hand along one of those aforementioned horns.

"Okay then," said Karlach, "Claws: check. Horns: check. Oh, wait. You're right. You won't fit in." She gave Wyll a sympathetic frown as she leaned to look at his backside. "You're missing a tail. You do realize it's a tiefling party, right?" She cracked a smile.

"There are spikes growing where there really shouldn't be," said Wyll gravely.

"What, you haven't been filing them down?"

"You file your spikes? Are you having me on?'

"Of course. Otherwise they start to itch. Come on," said Karlach. "Join the party. Think of all the other wonderful things you might learn about your new self. Or at least come and sit with me. And I'm not only encouraging you because I want someone to go get me another drink."

Karlach chuckled to see Raphane and Alfira sitting together on the log on the other side of the camp. "I didn't see that coming," she said.

"Me either," commented Wyll, peering around Karlach to look. "I always thought Raphane was more interested in you."

"Psh. What?" Karlach scoffed.

"I'm serious," said Wyll. "During my time in this merry band, I've seen her go, let's see, just about nowhere without you. I challenge you to name one other person whose company she takes to more."

Karlach thought for a moment then shook her head. "She just needs someone to do the heavy lifting."

"Right," said Wyll, "You're that sure she doesn't just enjoy watching you bend over?" he asked with a smirk.

Karlach chortled and spat out her drink. "What, Raphane? She is too classy for that by far." She paused and looked back at Wyll before asking uncertainly, "Isn't she?"

"Is she usually standing behind you when she asks you to pick something up?" asked Wyll, still wearing that smirk.

"Huh," said Karlach, looking once more in Raphane's direction.

"Well, are you interested in her?" Wyll followed up with a sly smile.

"I uh. I don't," Karlach stammered before she threw up her hands. "Maybe?"

"Mmm. The look on your face says 'yes.'" Wyll mused.

"Fine," Karlach admitted, "But what would I even say?"

"I have never known you to be at a loss for words."

"Come on," Karlach begged, "You're good with words. Give us a line." She smiled hopefully.

"I know this isn't your first time," said Wyll with a chuckle. "What did you used to say?"

"I didn't," said Karlach bluntly, "Just jumped on top of anyone I fancied and, if they didn't scream 'Get off!' saw where things went from there. Worked better than it had a right to."

"Persuasive," said Wyll.

"It was," Karlach grinned, "Except for the times I got slapped, punched, kicked or had dogs set on me. Can't do that now." She raised her hands. Palms glowed molten orange and flames danced on her fingertips.

"Maybe we can get you some blacksmith's mitts?" Wyll joked. Then he saw the deep frown on Karlach's face. "Sorry."

"No," said Karlach, crossing her arms across her knees, "I need to stop before I forget myself and end up hurting someone."

"Cheer up," said Wyll. "Didn't Dammon say he could fix your engine?"

"If he survives the journey to Baldur's Gate. If we can find him again. If he's able to work out how to do it. If we can find more infernal metal for him to work with. So many ifs. Too many for my liking," Karlach admitted.

"The odds may not be as long as you think," said Wyll reassuringly, "Dammon is intelligent and capable and everyone is on the lookout for infernal metal."

"Listen to me killing the mood," said Karlach before a grin broke across her face and she continued with renewed energy, "It's a party isn't it? Truth is I've got plenty to be happy about. I'm back in the world I care about. Sky, grass, sea, stars. Gods, I missed it all so much! And I've found good and decent people too. Now was that Lae'zel I just saw you making eyes at just now? That's right. I see things too."

"Look," said Alfira, lowering her wine glass and pointing in the direction of Karlach's tent, "she's back!"

Raphane could feel her heart pounding in her chest as she saw Karlach. "Okay, I'm going." She pitched back her mug and drained what was left of it.

"You've got this!" encouraged Alfira.

Raphane was standing up from the log when she took one last look in Karlach's direction and only then did she see Wyll sitting on the other side of Karlach, the two of them smiling and laughing.

The green tiefling immediately collapsed back down on the log. "Shit!"

"What?" asked Alfira, "What's wrong-oh. Well. They could just be talking, couldn't they? We're just talking after all."

"You weren't there when they nearly crossed blades," said Raphane, lolling her head against the boulder behind the log she was sitting on. "Sparks! Figurative and literal. I missed it. I missed my chance."

"What are you doing with her?"

Raphane heard and turned her head to see Lae'zel's keen yellow eyes staring down at her.

"Lae'zel, please. I am in no mood for another of your chastisements," muttered Raphane, directing her gaze upward in weary frustration. "I know you must think all of this is a waste of time but just have a drink, read a book or whatever else will occupy you until the rest of us are ready to venture forth. Okay?"

"That is not why I am here," said Lae'zel.

"What?" asked Raphane. She lowered her gaze and flinched to see Lae'zel's face hovering just inches from her own.

"I can smell the day's bloodletting on you. The sweet scent of your sweat. Of the feast of flesh laid out at this banquet you are the sweetest and I would taste you."

Lae'zel straightened up and cast an irritated glare down at an astonished Raphane. "A pity you have chosen the bard instead. Perhaps she will satiate your appetite for the mundane."

Alfira was just then lowering her wine glass from her lips. "Oh, she wants Karlach, not me," she explained. She then flinched at the look Raphane shot her. "Sorry, was that a secret?" she asked.

"A fast vanishing one at best," said Raphane.

"The hot-hearted tiefling," said Lae'zel appreciatively, "Not the best choice you could have made but far from the worst. But why are you with the bard instead of her?"

"The bard has a name," said Raphane icily.

Lae'zel rolled her eyes. "Why are you with Alfira instead of her."

"I knew you knew her name!" Raphane exclaimed.

"Answer!"

"Just look!" Alfira interjected, pointing in Karlach and Wyll's direction.

"Stop that!" said Raphane, pushing Alfira's arm down.

"I see," said Lae'zel, "I shall approach unseen and effect a solution." Once the gith had finished speaking, her taut, sinewy limbs quickly carried her away.

Raphane watched Lae'zel leave and shook her head, bewildered by the whole exchange.

"Ah-uhm. When she says 'effect a solution,' she's not talking about killing them is she? I mean, she wouldn't do that, would she?" asked Alfira, suddenly concerned.

Raphane's eyes shot wide with alarm. She surged to her feet and spun to give chase to Lae'zel. The trouble was that the world didn't stop spinning with her and, as everything she had drunk that night caught up with her all at once, Raphane went lightheaded, the world turned sideways and, somewhere, she thought she heard Alfira squeal.

Karlach laughed, "Okay. Maybe Raphane's not as classy as I thought. She just pretended to fall into Alfira's lap."

There was a sound of heavy breathing.

"You okay, mate?" Karlach asked, looking in Wyll's direction at the same time Wyll was looking in her direction. Then they both looked behind themselves and practically jumped when they saw Lae'zel.

"Shit!" yelled Karlach.

"How long have you been back there?" asked Wyll.

"Not long," said Lae'zel, before fixing each of them with a measuring gaze. "Were you about to copulate?" she asked plainly.

"Not likely," laughed Karlach.

Wyll shot a look at Karlach, who read the desperation in his eyes rather too late and refunded an apologetic look of her own and a mouthed 'Sorry.'

"You won't be needing him then," said Lae'zel before dropping down to a crouch behind Wyll, her hissing whisper thundered in his ear while her fingers spread across his shoulders. Her breath was hot on the back of his neck as she spoke, "The bloodletting of these past days has set my heart to racing. My body simmers with carnal desire and I would feast on the bounty of your flesh. What say you?"

"Woah-ho! Spicy!" commented Karlach.

"Oh," said Wyll, his eyes wide.

"Good." Lae'zel had soon grabbed Wyll by the wrist and pulled him to his feet to lead him into the night.

"Can I watch?" Karlach called after them, then shook her head and chuckled. "Ahh, nevermind. Don't need to be burning another tent down."

Then a sudden commotion coming from the other side of the camp caught Karlach's attention. "What's this?" she asked of no one in particular as she dusted her hands off on her knees and stood up.

When the world stopped spinning, Raphane found herself on Alfira's lap. "Damn," she murmured.

"You seem lost," said Alfira, before pointing, "Lae'zel went that way. Have you had rather a lot to drink?"

"I'd rather rather a lot rather than none at all."

"What?"

"What?"

"That's enough. Up, you."

Raphane swung her head in the direction of the new voice, it took her vision a few seconds to catch up before she could make out the dusk-skinned tiefling with her long purple hair pulled into a ponytail looming over Alfira and herself.

"Lakrissa, hiii," Alfira greeted her.

"I'll handle this," said Lakrissa, and promptly shoved Raphane off Alfira's lap. The green tiefling landed on the ground with an 'oof.'

"Excuse you," said Raphane, brushing dirt off her hands and tail.

Alfira gasped, "Lakrissa! What are you doing?"

"I can see how uncomfortable she's making you," said the purple haired tiefling to Alfira, "The way she's been hanging on you all night, the weed-ridden hussy!"

"Weed-ridden?" Raphane quirked a brow in confusion and looked down at herself.

"Even if she is some big-damn hero doesn't give her the right to-"

"Gods' sake, Lakrissa,'' interrupted Alfira, "She doesn't want me! She wants Karlach!" Alfira then promptly gasped when she noticed Karlach was now standing behind Raphane. From her vantage point on the ground, Raphane craned her neck backward to see Karlach and then it was her turn to gasp.

"Uhm. Excuse me," Alfira said, before making a rapid exit with a flurry of billowing tails.

"Alfira! Alfira, wait!" shouted Lakrissa, trying to catch up to the fleeing bard.

"Enjoy the party!" Karlach called after them before looking down at Raphane. "I'd help you up, soldier, but," she held out her hands, each glowing molten orange and wreathed in flames, "Hot hands," she said before dropping down to sit beside Raphane on the ground.

"How much of that did you hear?" asked Raphane, her head swaying a little bit as she fought to keep Karlach in focus.

"I think I caught the best bit. Nice little confidence boost that. Well, if what Alfira said was true," said Karlach, she leaned in and tilted her head a bit with a hopeful smile.

A shy smile flickered across Raphane's face. Her breath caught in her throat a moment as she found herself basking in the quite literally warm glow of Karlach's attention. She brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes before she answered: "It's true, I've-"

"YEAH-HA!" Karlach interrupted, making Raphane jump. "Sorry," she said, "Got a bit excited. I mean, I guess I knew it. But it's nice to know what you know, you know?"

Raphane laughed. "I've been trying to work up the nerve to tell you all night. Nice of Alfira to do it for me. And what do you think of your outed admirer?"

The green tiefling leaned in to stare intently at Karlach, her head swaying ever so much as she did so. With their faces hovering inches apart from one another, Karlach's heat was all the more intoxicating.

Karlach lowered her voice, "I think I'd like to ride her 'til she sees stars."

Raphane swooned but caught herself before she could fall much lower to the ground than she already was. "I think she just did," she said, blinking rapidly.

It was Karlach's turn to laugh, "You don't drink much do you?"

"I have a glass of wine every… three or four months," said Raphane defensively, after she recovered.

"I'm getting you some water," said Karlach, "Don't go far."

Karlach made the trip to the hoard of drinks. The crowd around it had thinned out substantially, as more and more of the partygoers either went to sleep or paired off. Karlach grabbed a carafe of water for Raphane and poured a tankard of ale for herself.

She made it back to find Raphane had moved from where she had fallen down to sit leaning against the log.

"Best to let it cool. It's probably hot," said Karlach as she set the carafe down beside Raphane. "Pretty sure I heard it simmer."

"Not a problem," said Raphane. She murmured a cantrip and touched a hand to the bottom of the carafe, which soon frosted while beads of condensation formed on the outside of the vessel. She took a drink and exhaled, refreshed.

"Nice trick," said Karlach. "Can't remember the last time I had a cool drink."

"Allow me," said Raphane, setting down her own carafe and holding out her hands for Karlach's tankard.

"No good," said Karlach, "it'll heat up again the moment I'm holding it."

"And that's why you won't," said Raphane with a sly smile, beckoning for Karlach's tankard again. The red tiefling shrugged and handed it over. The tankard was indeed warm to the touch. Raphane worked her magic, cooling the tankard. Its exterior soon beaded with droplets of condensation, just as the carafe had. "Now tilt your head back and open your mouth," she said.

"You know there's only so many people I have ever met who could tell me to do that without provoking a lot of hesitation," said Karlach.

"You are hesitating," teased Raphane.

"But not a lot," returned Karlach before tilting back her head and opening her mouth.

Raphane stood over Karlach and, holding the ale tankard with both hands, poured a thin stream of ale down into Karlach's mouth. Karlach smiled appreciatively as she swallowed. "Nice, chilled drink. Never would have guessed cheap ale could taste so good."

"More?" asked Raphane.

"Yes, please," said Karlach, mouth open and ready to receive.

Raphane poured once more, but didn't quite manage to stop before Karlach closed her mouth to swallow. A trickle of ale ran down Karlach's chin to her neck, thinning and turning to vapor as it went, with the last droplets making it to just above the infernal engine's glow before also succumbing to the heat. Raphane stared, captivated, not even aware she had licked her lips, then raised her eyes to Karlach's face to see the other woman staring right back at her with intent golden eyes. A lick of flames danced along her hair before spinning off her horn.

"Gods," Karlach moaned, "I don't know if I can be around you tonight. Everything I want to do with you would turn you to charcoal."

"Sorry for being so flammable," said Raphane, "My least endearing quality, I know."

Karlach gave Raphane a commiserating smile. "No point pretending we don't both know it's the fault of this little fucker," she said, tapping a claw against her engine. "Although," her smile broadened, "First cold drink in ten years. It's still something to smile about. Thanks, soldier."

"Do you… want the rest of it?" asked Raphane, tapping the still cool tankard in her hands.

"You know what, I think I do," said Karlach, flashing a smile of bright white teeth.

Raphane applied the same technique as before, generally getting better at it along the way, although a few drips and drops missed the mark and proceeded to turn to vapor on contact with Karlach's skin.

"You did that on purpose didn't you?" asked Karlach, when a few more drops than usual missed on the last pour to land on her cleavage.

"Like you would have any more self control in my position," said Raphane with a knowing smile as she set down Karlach's now-empty tankard. She cast a lingering gaze down Karlach's body.

"This may be a delicate question," Raphane started, then paused.

"Go on," said Karlach, mouth twisted in an amused grin at Raphane's sudden discomfiture.

"I suppose scrambling eggs on your belly would be absolutely out of the question?" asked Raphane, in her most reasonable tone.

"What are you like!?" Karlach exclaimed, "Are you the same girl who was scared to come near me earlier or are you the doppelganger that replaced her when I turned my back?"

"I didn't hear a 'no.'" Raphane teased.

Karlach was silent for a while before she answered. "Putting the engine to work like that would really stick in Zariel's craw… but Gale can never know. I'm not staying in camp all day to be his grill."

"Like I could ever leave you behind," said Raphane, grinning happily.

"You realize I'm going to need a bath after?"

"I'll watch your back."

"In the dark."

"I can make light."

"You have an answer for everything, don't you?"

"Aren't you lucky."

"Are you doing this just to see me naked?"

"It's a small camp with not a lot of privacy. Everyone's seen everyone naked."

"You mean you peeked?"

"You mean you didn't? I also really want eggs. Mmm. And toast."

"Don't get greedy."