Hello, Old Friend
The goblin boss proved to be surprisingly true to his word. The battle against the rest of the kobolds went relatively smoothly, aside from a few tricks and traps toward the end. The promised feast was bountiful indeed, with more than enough roast drake to feed the entire goblin warhost and the tieflings, and with plenty of hooch to go around as well.
Despite Karlach's insistence, and Raphane's agreement, that they get away as soon as possible, the tieflings found themselves entangled in the festivities for maybe hours, maybe days, getting dragged into the feasting, raucous singing, dancing and more than a few brawls. Not that they didn't gain anything from it. The goblin armorer was thrilled at the chance to work with drake scale, and forged reinforcements for the tieflings' armor.
By the time Karlach and Raphane were back on the surface of Avernus and moving purposefully through a narrow pass, trying to put as much distance as they could between themselves and the goblin war camp as quickly as possible, they each had full bellies and faces colored with goblin warpaint.
Eventually the narrow pass opened up onto a broader plateau. The wider vista was almost a relief until the two tieflings saw the cluster of bodies.
Karlach pulled her sword free of its baldric and spared a glance at Raphane. The druid had been keeping her staff in hand for some time, it made a good enough walking stick, after all, but she was now readying her shield as well.
"This feels wrong," said Raphane, "We can scale the pass walls. Find a way around. I'm rested enough, I could even fly us over and a good distance past."
Karlach shook her head, "Anything you can shift into big enough to shift me would be seen for miles. Besides, I want to know what's happened here."
Raphane shillelaghed her staff and hesitantly followed after Karlach.
They could see as they drew closer that the bodies, even the ones that had been cut apart and reassembled, were all Orthons and had been arranged into a number of increasingly crude tableaux. One, cut in half with upper and lower torso opposite each other, arms and legs outstretched, was touching its own toes. The next two corpses were wrestling. Perhaps? Raphane chose to not look too closely. The corpse at the center had her gut sliced open and was made to look as though she were choking herself with her own intestines whilst simultaneously pleasuring herself.
Raphane and Karlach looked at the face of the Orthon on display at the center: contorted grotesquely in her final death gasp but it was plain to see that long strips of flesh had been torn from her face; the very wounds a wild shaped Raphane had inflicted on the female Orthon of the pair who had ambushed Karlach and herself in the crater.
Raphane was looking toward Karlach and opening her mouth to speak when another voice spoke first: "So sweet to see you, Karlie." Raphane whirled in the direction the voice had come from. A female cambion with skin the color of bleached bone and eyes resembling blood-filled orbs was perched atop the head of the gutted Orthon, where Raphane was certain no one had been present only seconds ago. The cambion's batlike wings were folded in and arched high. "Do you like your homecoming present?" She flashed a mouthful of sharp teeth in a smile so broad it threatened to split her face.
The cambion stood upright and spread her wings before stepping off the Orthon's head and dropping down to the ground. A couple flaps of her wings slowed her descent and when her feet touched the ground with preternatural grace they didn't make a sound. She strode toward Karlach. The cambion stood a couple inches taller than the red tiefling, even if only because of her dagger heeled boots, and she positively towered over Raphane. She was clad in form fitting dark red leather. A pair of belts criss crossed her waist from which hung a series of blades on the left hip, arranged longest forward and shortest back, and from the right hung a similar succession of coiled leather and metal cords and bindings. Her long black hair was tied into a single braid that snapped whiplike with every turn of her head.
Karlach looked pale as she tightened her grip on her sword. Raphane did the same with her staff and kept her shield up.
"Not a word?" the cambion pouted as she got closer to Karlach. "It's not my best work, I'll admit, but I was in a hurry."
"Karlach…" started Raphane, looking for any kind of direction.
"Quiet, pet," said the cambion, patting Raphane's head. The green tiefling glared back at the bone-white cambion, all the more incensed by how utterly unthreatened the cambion was by her.
"Florenta," Karlach finally managed to say.
"Please," said the cambion, pressing a hand to Karlach's chest as the red tiefling's lip twitched, "You get to call me Flo." Her eyes shone a brighter shade of red as she swirled her hand around Karlach's chest, "So the rumors are true. You're not as combustible as you used to be."
Karlach drew back and gave Florenta a look of warning even as a devilish grin spread across the cambion's face. Florenta propelled herself into the air with a single strong beat of her wings before coming down to wrap her legs around an astonished Karlach, binding the tiefling's arms against her sides, grabbing onto her shoulders, pressing her lips tightly against Karlach's and then aggressively driving her tongue into Karlach's mouth.
Not even a second had passed before rolling flames erupted across Karlach's shoulders. Florenta let go of the red tiefling, kicked off her chest with a cackle and somersaulted midair before holding herself above the ground with a steady beating of her wings. Meanwhile, a jealous pang struck Raphane's heart even as she watched the spectacle, shocked and dumbfounded.
"I'd always wondered how you tasted," said Florenta, running a finger along her lips, "Our relationship was always so long-distance." Florenta cast a smirk over her shoulder at Raphane. "By the by, does she still like to watch?" the cambion asked, making a two fingered gesture to her own crotch. Raphane's brow creased with disgust.
"Just back off, Flo," snapped Karlach, reaffirming her grip on her sword's hilt, blade pointed at the cambion. "I've got control of the engine and its heat now. I could burn you to a cinder."
Raphane moved to stand by Karlach's side, shield held high, eyes on Florenta.
"But that's not completely true is it, Karlie?" asked Florenta, "If you did have complete control over that little engine of yours, you wouldn't be back in Avernus at all, would you?"
Karlach held her face stern but couldn't quite keep her eyes from showing her dismay.
"There it is," said Florenta with smug satisfaction. She began circling Karlach and Raphane, staying in the air. "That engine is primed to blow the moment you set foot outside this place." There was that flash of sharp teeth again that seemed to be as close as Florenta could get to a genuine smile. "It's lucky you have me for company."
"If you're here to drag me back to Zariel, I'm not fucking going."
"Drag you?" Florenta asked with a hurt tone, holding her hand over her heart, before she let out a cackle and the grin came back, "I'll hardly need to. Zariel is still in a bit of a-" Florenta shrugged before proceeding, "Decapitory kind of mood when it comes to you, but our archdevil will change her mind when her favored demonslayer returns to pledge body and soul to Zariel's service of her own free will."
"You are delusional," said Karlach.
"I don't think so," said Florenta. The cambion's grin spread once more into the razor sharp grin that nearly split Florenta's face in half before her form suddenly vanished into a haze of black mist.
Karlach's eyes swept their surroundings for the disappeared cambion before Raphane's startled yelp alerted her to Florenta's reemergence. By the time Karlach had turned round, Florenta had seized Raphane by a fistful of her long red hair with one hand, yanking her head back and dragging her away from Karlach.
Raphane tried to dig in her heels as she started to wild shape. Green skin was beginning to harden and shift to red scales before Florenta decisively snapped a metal collar around the druid's neck. The collar was etched with infernal glyphs that glowed red once it was secured in place and Raphane's transformation immediately reversed, those beginnings of scales going back to skin.
"Now, now, now," Florenta whispered to Raphane, lips hovering close to the struggling tiefling's ear, "There's no need to change yourself for me. You approach adequacy just how you are." The cambion looked past Raphane to stare unblinking at Karlach. "Such a pretty little thing, your pet," said Florenta. The cambion stroked her long, slender, claw-tipped alabaster fingers up and down Raphane's throat, "And what a tender little neck she has."
Raphane tried to focus. To wild shape in order to slip Florenta's grasp but the forms she attempted to call kept slipping away. The collar's influence, obviously.
Florenta dragged her tongue sensuously along Raphane's neck before nibbling her earlobe, eyes locked onto a fuming Karlach the entire time. "Tasty too. How long do you think she'll survive Avernus? This is no place for the weak or the soft."
Karlach spoke through clenched teeth, as she stepped closer, sword at the ready, "She's tougher than you think. And, Flo, we are past tired of your shit."
"You should listen to me, Karlie. Didn't things always go better for you when you let me do your thinking for you? I can get her out of Avernus. Safe. Unharmed. Unspoiled. All you need to do-"
Florenta suddenly cried out when Raphane managed to jab her foot with her staff, probably more in surprise than pain. Nonetheless, it gave Raphane an opening to wrest herself free from the cambion's grasp, which was all the encouragement Karlach needed to lunge at Florenta. The cambion leapt backward, assisted by the beating of her wings to avoid Karlach's greatsword before she landed on the wall of the pass above the tieflings with an agitated swish of her tail.
"So you're not ready to talk yet," said Florenta with a disappointed frown. "But you'll reconsider Karlie." The frown quickly inverted to a grin. Blood-red eyes gleamed. "We will be sisters in slaughter again, and as for your little green tart," Florenta gave a scowling Raphane a finger wave, "Well, she'll either go back to the material plane whole and intact or she'll join us down here. Permanently. Everyone breaks eventually, and I do believe she would make a quite fetching lemure," Florenta let out a cackle before her countenance hardened, "But it will be your choice Karlie. Maybe make the right one." The cambion gave the pair of tieflings a final face-splitting grin before disappearing into another cloud of black mist.
"Crazy, psychotic bitch," fumed Karlach as she tried to work the lock to the collar clamped around Raphane's neck, "You see what I mean about her now? Rotten, sleazy, manipulative slime."
"With a tongue like sandpaper," Raphane commented. She cast a glance over the landscape visible from the rocky outcropping under which the two tieflings were sheltering. There was little that was remarkable after having spent a few days in Avernus. Just more of the tiresome dark rocky hills and ridges under the blood red sky with the occasional fireball streaking past overhead.
"At least you didn't have it in your mouth," Karlach winced. "I'd be guzzling alchemist fire right now if I thought it would wash out the taste. Sisters in slaughter? Right. Never had a sister myself but I'm pretty sure they don't make a habit of ramming their tongues down each other's throats. She's not half as clever as she thinks she is either. I see her again, I'm cutting her in two."
The lockpick snapped. Karlach let out an aggravated sigh and tossed the broken lockpick next to the other broken picks from her previous attempts.
"Gods," she growled through clenched teeth, "My meaty sausage fingers are no good for this delicate work."
"So long as they're still good for other delicate work," said Raphane with a smirk.
"Too obvious," said Karlach with a chuckle and a bemused grin.
Raphane grabbed her satchel and started going through it. "I think I have a scroll of knock in here somewhere. Let me see if I can find it before you break any more lockpicks. We might need them later."
"We might need that scroll later too," said Karlach. "And it's easier to find lockpicks than magic scrolls. Let me try again. I will be extra gentle. Promise." Karlach inclined her head and gave Raphane a winning smile.
Raphane sighed hopelessly, "Never could say 'no' to that face."
"I'll remember that," said Karlach, before producing another lockpick and getting back to it. "You know, this really makes me wish I had listened to all that stuff Astarion said about lockpicking."
"Why? What did he say?"
"I don't know. I didn't listen!" said Karlach.
Snap.
"I'll take the blame for that one," Raphane granted graciously.
Karlach pulled another lockpick from her pack and waggled it, "Extra gentle." she said, getting back to it once more.
"Why are you being so quiet?" Karlach asked Raphane after she had been working on the lock for a bit.
"Trying not to make you break another pick," said Raphane, helpfully.
"Well, stop it," said Karlach, "It's really distracting."
Raphane chewed her lip for a moment, trying to think of something to talk about. Then she spent a moment trying to think of something else to talk about before giving up and saying the first thing: "At least Florenta killed those orthons that were on our tails."
"She did," Karlach admitted. "We would have had a tough time against five of them at once. How fucking sad is it that she's still the closest thing to an ally we have in this shithole even though she's plotting to get me back under Zariel's thumb? I don't even want to think about what horrible shit she has in mind for you."
"How do you think Florenta managed it? Killing all five of those orthons?"
"Well they don't call her 'the garrotter' for nothing and, considering those marks on the orthons' necks, I think it's a safe bet that's how she did it. You sussed that out already though, didn't you?"
"Just making conversation," said Raphane.
"I guess that's what I asked for," said Karlach. "As for how she killed all five of them, she probably used trickery and deceit to split them up, then took them down one by one. She likes to take her time. She can't have done it all alone though. No chance she positioned those bodies by herself."
"You've seen her at work?"
Karlach nodded ruefully, "We worked together when I was under Zariel's employ. More than I care to remember. I was normally the muscle or the distraction. Florenta the assassin or the executioner." Karlach sighed, "Not that she confined her garrotting to working hours."
"Was she always so handsy?"
"Not with me," said Karlach, "Thanks to that infernal chastity belt. But, when it came to anyone she could touch without fear of bursting into flames, yeah, she was. She did it to get into their heads. Same as she tried with us. Low, dirty, cheap manipulation. Bitch didn't even have any jokes for us and that was the closest thing she had to a redeeming feature."
"And, um. Karlie?"
Karlach paused working the lock for a few seconds. Probably to stop herself from accidentally breaking another one, thought Raphane.
"Always hated that nickname," said Karlach as she got back to it. "Sounds too much like 'curly' for my liking. But, the more I fought it, the more Florenta doubled down on it."
"Still not as bad as Phannie," said Raphane.
Karlach had to pause again as she chortled. She looked Raphane in the eyes. "Phannie? Really?"
"My grandmother thought it was cute," said Raphane. She sighed. "Then she happened to say it one day when she was collecting me from the schoolhouse and-well. I'm sure you remember how kids can be."
"How long did that nickname stick?" asked Karlach.
"Too long," answered Raphane.
There was a click and Raphane let out a sigh of relief when she felt the collar loosen. Karlach grinned proudly as she unfastened the collar from the druid's neck. "There. Better?" she asked.
"Much," said Raphane, rubbing her neck and rolling her head. She popped a flame into existence in the palm of her hand to make sure the magical prohibition created by the collar had ended before snuffing the flame out.
"Well that's rubbish," said Karlach with a judgmental smirk.
"What? You have a problem with the way I conjure flame?" asked Raphane, bemused.
"Needs flair, needs a snap," said Karlach, snapping her fingers and sparking a flame into existence at the tip of her thumb.
"I can't snap," admitted an embarrassed Raphane.
"You what? How am I only just learning this? How can you not be able to snap?" Karlach snapped her fingers several times in a row, each time igniting a flame at her fingertip, to emphasize the point.
"Stop showing off," said Raphane with a laugh. Then she smiled at Karlach and gave her a quick peck on the lips. "Thanks, sweetheart."
Karlach caressed a hand along Raphane's chin, tilted it up before leaning in to give her a lingering kiss. Their eyes locked as their lips parted.
"Were we talking about something?" asked Karlach.
Raphane gave her an amused smile. "Just your old workmate."
"Yuck," said Karlach, "Why did I ask? Mood slain," she groaned, before moving to sit next to Raphane against the cave wall.
"We need a plan," said Raphane.
"You're sure a plan is a good idea?" asked Karlach. "We do our best work when we improvise. Our plans always go sideways."
"Well plans are disposable, planning isn't."
"Did you get that from one of those books you always had your nose in?" Karlach smirked.
"Look," Raphane started defensively, "The leadership thing didn't come naturally to me, so yes I read about it when I got the chance. Couldn't remember most of what I read but a few pithy phrases stuck."
"Okay, my well-read darling friend, what other wisdom do you have to share?" Karlach asked with a sideways smile.
Raphane was quiet for a moment before she spoke. "Synergy."
"What about it?"
"Fuck off."
Karlach burst out laughing. Raphane smiled as she rested her head against the taller tiefling's shoulder.
"I guess I learned some things from you too," said Raphane.
"I'm a fantastic influence, aren't I?" asked Karlach, wrapping an arm around Raphane.
Raphane took Karlach's free hand and interwove her fingers with Karlach's. "We still need a plan. A goal. Something to work toward. Something more than just blind wandering."
Karlach was quiet for a while before she answered, "There's nowhere to go. There's nowhere to stay. Florenta knows me better than almost anyone except you. She knows how I think, knows where I'd go. Her talents make her an almost perfect fit to exploit our weaknesses. She could be listening to us right now and neither of us would have a clue. The only thing we have on our side is that she seems to think the hells will break us for her." Karlach let out a heavy sigh. "Maybe all that said I can't be the one to make the plan. What do you think, darling?"
"You dismissed the idea before," Raphane admitted, "But what about the House of Hope?"
"I don't know where it is," admitted Karlach. "Don't know how to find it and I absolutely don't know how to find it in a way that won't lead someone else straight to it behind us. And for all we know some new devil has taken up residence there already."
"The hells abhor a vacuum?"
"There's always some ambitious prick looking to climb the ropes. Or jump them."
"Jump roping devils? There's an attraction for the circus."
Karlach let out a humorless chuckle.
"What about infernal mechanics?"
"What about them?" asked Karlach.
"Do you know anyone who might be able to fix what's wrong with your engine? Maybe even get you a chance at going back to the material plane? Even if we have to do a little arm twisting?"
Karlach shook her head, "Too risky. The only ones I knew were in the Bronze Citadel. Miles and miles of fortifications guarded by hundreds of thousands of devils. Besides, those mechanics are the same ignots who cocked up the job in the first place and left Dammon with a mess to sort out. There's just not another Dammon down here. Was damned lucky to find him at all." She hugged Raphane close, "I haven't forgotten about what you said, by the way, about me seeing another sunrise. It's just so hard to imagine getting there. We're free-after a fashion. Every second not spent under Zariel's boot is a blessing, doubly when I get to spend them with you. But it feels like there are walls in every direction and an invisible noose around our necks that is only getting tighter every minute. I'm sorry to be so morbid, darling. I just can't see the way through."
Raphane gave Karlach's hand another squeeze and turned a commiserating smile up at the other tiefling, "Maybe a plan to get us out of here is a bit much to expect at this point. Maybe the plan for now is we keep putting one foot in front of the other. As for the rest, faith will have to manage for now."
The two sat together quietly for a while before Raphane spoke again, "You aren't thinking of taking Florenta's offer are you?"
"What? Gods no," scoffed Karlach. "I mean. I want to get you out of Avernus, sure, but I can't trust Florenta half as far as a halfling could throw a hill giant. Not to mention returning to Zariel? No fucking way." She shook her head.
"Good," said Raphane, nestling her head against Karlach's shoulder, "I needed to hear you say it."