03: Hitagi Senjougahara - After A Bad Break Up, It's Best To Sleep With Your Ex-Boyfriend's Best Friend [III]

Hikigaya was embarrassed. He wasn't a fucking virgin who hadn't had his dick sucked before in an empty parking lot, but truth be told, it had been a while.

Judging from how long he lasted and the load he shot into her throat, Hitagi could tell too. But she was being rather tightlipped about it. Or it could be the fact, that she was unable to open her mouth, because she had trouble swallowing all that cum without spilling a few drops on her brand new dress.

Either way, he was not complaining.

"Did you bring a bottle of water with you by any chance?"

He almost didn't hear the question because he was busy gathering his bearings, coming down from the dopamine high which releases post ejaculation, cumming in her mouth in full throttle and watching her swallow every drop. It took a moment for the post-nut clarity to hit and when it did, it socked him in the jaw.

Hitagi was down on her haunches, effectively squatting, maintaining a difficult position where her entire body was being supported on her own two feet, with her knees bent under her, so that her buttocks could rest primly on top of her heels.

Now here he mentioned the word 'difficult' because the woman was in high heels and was pretty much drunk, so either she was not aware of it or by this point of time she didn't seem to care, that her dress had rode up her thighs, and as a result she was flashing her underwear for the entire world to see. However, since they were in an empty parking lot, the only one who saw her exposing her panties was only him.

Lucky me, he thought.

But there was something wrong with the picture. Hitagi Senjougahara had been an elegant woman, and from what he knew she always held herself up to a certain high standard. Granted, she was in a relationship with Koyomi Araragi, and he was the biggest pervert he knew. Despite Hikigaya's best attempts, the man went on and on about the sexually devious things the two of them had done in the past to keep their sex life interesting.

But Hitagi had broken up with him at the engagement party, hadn't she?

This was the new her, Hitagi Senjougahara 2.0, and so far all he had were questions. The woman wasn't trying to look sexy or be appealing; she looked like she wanted to take a leak and wasn't afraid to urinate in front of him while he watched.

Well, he was into some kinky shit, but that was definitely a deal breaker.

"What do you need the water for?" He asked hotly.

Hitagi didn't miss a beat. "To remove the aftertaste of cum from my mouth." Raising an eyebrow, she issued an open challenge. "Or are you okay kissing me in the mouth later, and while we are swapping spit, you get a taste of your own bodily fluids?" A playful smirk danced on her ruby red lips. "I have been told young, inexperienced men like yourself might find it gross."

To his credit, he didn't snap back with a clever retort to assuage the damage done to his own male ego. Truth be told, he was expecting the barb, waiting for her to take aim and fire her shots at him. The lady was drunk and yet the blowjob had been fantastic, really top of the shelf stuff. Compared to that, the way he came in her mouth after just a few minutes, yeah, he wasn't gonna lie, it wasn't his best performance.

Hikigaya needed to get himself sorted, get his act together, and behave like a hot blooded man. He resisted the urge to let out a world weary sigh. Being a heterosexual man was such a chore.

If he wanted to be petty about it, Hikigaya could make the argument that he was neither young nor inexperienced when it came to having his dick sucked and his balls fondled. To which, no doubt, Hitagi would counter with the fact that she was definitely older than him, and thus had more experience when it came to getting down on her knees and gobbling on some cock, as expounded by the method and manner in which she accosted him in a semi-public area and went to town on him, sucking him dry in a matter of minutes.

But like we have established, he wasn't going to be petty. Neither was he going to throw a hissy fit and snap back with a clever retort. Hitagi was older, definitely had more experience. But they weren't playing a game of numbers. Both of them were adults, capable of taking their own decisions, making their own mistakes.

"I didn't think about grabbing some water on the way here." From the parking lot, he threw a glance behind his shoulder and looked at the establishment they had left behind. "I just thought about bringing you some food." Music could be heard. Araragi's engagement party was in full swing. The troublemakers were gone. Everyone was enjoying themselves. Decisions, decisions. "Do you want me to go back?"

"No!" He knew for a fact that she hadn't meant to shout. Hitagi was surprised, taken aback by her own voice. Hikigaya wasn't. Good for him.

"No." This time she spoke softly, in what she assumed was her normal voice. It wasn't, he could tell. But he wouldn't be telling her anytime soon.

"Here," As casual as possible, she reached inside and pulled the car keys out of her bra. "I have a bottle lying around there, somewhere." She motioned towards the car, sitting majestically in the parking lot, while the woman who drove it here was hunkered down on the asphalt, looking like absolute shit. Life wasn't fair. "Check the glove compartment."

Hikigaya had been staring, fascinated, wondering what else she kept inside, neatly tucked between the brassiere cups and her breasts. Yet when she threw the car keys at him, aiming to hit him on the face on purpose, he caught them deftly.

Nice reflexes, Hitagi thought.

Hikigaya didn't say a word. But he did what he was told. He walked towards the car, used the key, opened the door to the driver's seat and was just about to lean forward and look into the glove compartment, when a light, a flash, a reflection caught his eye.

"Huh." He closed the glove compartment, turned back and spoke to the drunken woman, who was crouching a few feet away, near the drain, making a face, feeling like she was about to puke, while wishing she could wash away all her sins down this makeshift toilet and become a new person before they drove away from this accursed parking lot. Chances of that ever happening were looking pretty slim. He was about to make it even worse. "You weren't by any chance talking about the bottle of vodka lying around on the passenger seat, were you, Senjougahara-san?"

Hitagi shrugged and didn't even bother to look at his general direction. She already got the memo. He was disappointed with her. Not surprising. A lot of people were disappointed. Men mostly. A few women too. She didn't have time for such nonsense. "I said you would find a bottle." Hitagi spoke airily, without a care in the world, daring him to leave her in the dirt. "I never mentioned anything about the contents of the bottle. It was your fault for assuming things, thinking I was talking about water." She added acidly.

He wasn't the least bit affected or bothered by her tone. Unless he was, but kept his emotions in check, not revealing anything which would give him away, not letting those pesky telltale signs bubble onto the surface and break his mask of cool, calm and suave aloofness. But be that as it may, try as he might, he couldn't keep it up for long. Neither cold nor indifferent to her plight, Hikigaya asked one last question.

"You showed up to the party drunk, didn't you?"

Hitagi Senjougahara didn't trust her voice.

All she managed was a small, affirmative nod.

Under the present circumstance, it was the best she could manage. Thankfully, he didn't hold it against her for the time being. He also didn't ask any more questions.

An uncomfortable silence settled between the two of them for a short while. Hikigaya had no problem with it, able to go long bouts, hours upon hours with nothing but the sweet sound of silence as his company. He was known for being a weirdo. But despite popular belief, she didn't have a few screws loose herself and as such she staked her claim to being treated as a normal woman.

"I drove here drunk." She confessed.

"I know." Apparently he had made up his mind. He was known to procrastinate. But a few things in life came easy to him. No need to waste any more precious minutes. He knew what to do. And she wasn't going to like it very much. "Get up Senjougahara," He told her while casually sitting in the driver's seat of the car, hypnotizing her with a dead eyed stare which could make the living rot to the bones, all the flesh disappear in an instant, leave the worms hungry and wanting more.

Hitagi Senjougahara couldn't help but shiver, hugging herself tightly, rubbing her arms for comfort. There was none to be found. "I'm not your prince charming, I'm not boyfriend material. I'm just the guy you're planning to screw to get back at your ex-boyfriend. Get up Hitagi!" Hikigaya spoke louder, "I'm not going to hold your hand, I'm not going to help you through this. You're better than that, you're a strong woman who has her shit together." He didn't feel the need to sugarcoat things. "A few minutes ago you had me by the balls. Literally! You were down on your knees, sucking my cock and you never broke eye contact. That's what broke me, made me cum like an uncontrollable beast." He confessed like a sinner at church. "You didn't touch me, yet, you had me by the throat, a neat little leash wrapped around my neck and it was all your doing. You had all the power. I didn't touch you, I couldn't. I didn't have the balls. But now," One look was enough to make her flinch. He was fire, smoldering, hot to the touch and compared to him, she was filth, garbage, burnable trash. And the bastard knew it. "Look at you, what happened to that woman, what happened to the all powerful, Hitagi Senjougahara? Did you make a mess and piss all over yourself, little girl?"

It worked like a charm. Hitagi Senjougahara shot up, wobbled a bit on her feet for a second, before regaining her balance and without bothering to look at herself or adjusting her dress properly, she took a few measured steps, walking steadily on her high heels and reducing the distance between them in a matter of seconds.

Hikigaya wasn't looking forward to what happens next. But he knew what was coming, what to expect. And with Hitagi Senjougahara's temper and flare for dramatics, the fact that she was certifiably insane, under heavy medication, and seeking therapy, things weren't looking all that good for him.

At this point, a tight slap to the face, how most normal girls would react to his whole spiel, was looking like a positive godsend. But he made the amateur mistake of thinking Hitagi Senjougahara, who was standing within spitting distance of him was normal in any shape or form. Truly, a rookie mistake.

"Give me the bottle of vodka, Hikigaya-kun."

Apparently it was also the last mistake he would ever make, because any second now he was about to be killed, brutally murdered by a crazy, drunken woman with a vodka bottle.

What a way to go.

Now a lesser man, a coward, would have tucked his tail between his legs and run for the hills. He would have fought and wrestled and used his brawn strength against the woman, used his might to keep his would-be murder weapon with him at all times and not give it away to his future killer.

But Hikigaya was not a coward, damn you. He was a man. A stupid, idiotic, chivalrous man, who could never deny a woman's anything and as such he relinquished his hold on the vodka bottle, just let it slip away from between his fingers.

"Thank you." Hitagi was being polite.

Hikigaya waited for the blow to come, waited for her to smash the vodka bottle on his head and be done with it. He waited patiently and with bated breath. But instead of hitting him like he expected, the mad woman grabbed the bottle by the neck and took a big swig of the clear distilled alcoholic beverage of Russian origin.

Hikigaya observed her carefully. From the look of it she was satisfied by the amount of vodka she had consumed. But well, she had not gulped it all down her throat. Judging from the way her cheeks were puffed out, she had a mouthful of the beverage and she was in no hurry to swallow it. Instead, she was looking at him curiously, as if he had the answer to her strange behaviour.

He didn't and it seemed like she came to the same conclusion, because in the next instance she did some truly strange and remarkable things. Hikigaya resisted the urge to rub his eyes or pinch himself to make sure that he wasn't dreaming or making this up, because judging from the sound coming from her throat, Hitagi Senjougahara was really gargling and rinsing her mouth with vodka.

Hachiman Hikigaya was at a loss for words.

After Hitagi was done cleansing her mouth, she had another second to think, before she thought better and swallowed all the alcohol down her throat and this time she bothered to act like a normal human being, because she actually sputtered and coughed.

Hikigaya popped out of the driver's seat and stood beside her, patting her in the back and then rubbing soothing circles to ease her discomfort. Truth be told, after the weird display she had put up for his viewing pleasure, he didn't know what to do or how to react.

"Are you half Russian?" He asked half jokingly.

"Do you know Llamas spit when they are angry?" Hitagi asked instead. "It's mostly harmless for us humans. Sure you might smell bad and might want to hit the shower, but for other llamas it's the equivalent of throwing a stun grenade. Super effective."

Hikigaya tried to follow her train of thought. "You were thinking about spitting vodka on me?" He asked uncertainly.

Hitagi nodded. "But then I changed my mind. Why waste good quality vodka? Besides, I might have invented a new cocktail." There was something dangerous in her smile. Although, it was the lewdness of the quirk of her lips which had his heart going. "I think it might soon overtake Sex on the beach in popularity."

Sex on the beach was a popular alcoholic cocktail. It contained vodka, peach schnapps, orange juice and cranberry juice.

But at the present moment, all Hitagi had consumed was vodka. Yet, she mentioned cocktail, and sex on the beach to be exact.

"Do you want to know the ingredients, Hachiman?" She asked teasingly.

It took a moment for him to connect all the dots. "No thank -"

But Hikigaya forgot one small, minute detail. He was talking to Hitagi Senjougahara and according to her perception, we were all pointless characters in her universe, a place which she had to share with other people, because she was being magnanimous and showing she had a big heart.

But given all her generosity, you shouldn't forget one important thing.

"Vodka with a shot of Hikigaya-kun's cum." Hitagi spoke succinctly, without the least bit of embarrassment or shame. In fact, she spoke with all the delight of a saleswoman, introducing a new brand of vodka into the marketplace.

Even Hikigaya, who guessed he should be flattered at what might seem like a weird compliment was blushing and unable to maintain eye contact.

But Hitagi Senjougahara, the crazy woman was in her element and she was thriving.

Yes, it was foolishness on his part, because how could he ever forget. In their tiny little world, the place they all call home, Hitagi Senjougahara always had the last laugh, the last say in any matter.

And for the most part he was okay with it.

Author's Note: Be honest, you weren't expecting a chapter to drop on this fic were you? Well, I hope it was worth the wait.

Now this fic is far from over. I still have a few chapters left in the tank and I will write them soon.

In the mean time, I was thinking about writing a bunch of short romantic stories like this, featuring Hikigaya and a female character from a different anime.

Also, I don't know if this is a deal breaker for you guys, but all these short stories will be "Rated-M" and will have lemons in them.

Also, all this fic will be normal, as in there will be no supernatural, sci-fi, or shonen antics.

So for example, if I feature Yor Forger in a fic, she won't be an assassin. Now with that said, I didn't say she couldn't be an ex-assassin, having left her former life behind, and lying low in Japan. But Anya Forger will definitely be a normal girl. No telepathy powers in this fic.

I hope that isn't a deal breaker for you guys.

Now, it's time for some polls –

Poll#1: Which Female Anime Character Should Be Featured Next?

Option 1: Kyoko Hori – Horimiya.

Option 2: Kaguya Shinomiya – Kaguya-sama: Love is War

Option 3: Mai Sakurajima – Bunny Girl Senpai.

Option 4: Ai Hoshino – Oshi no Ko.

Option 5: Komi Shouko – Komi-san Can't Communicate.

Option 6: Horikita Suzune – Classroom of the Elite.

Option 7: Chizuru Ichinose – Rental Girlfriend.

Option 8: Hayase Nagatoro – Don't Toy With Me Nagatoro.

Option 9: Yor Forger – Spy x Family

Option 10: Female Characters From The Reviews.

[Note: Please suggest a ton of female characters. You can also send me an entire list!]

Hope you enjoyed reading this chapter

Leave lots and lots of reviews, follow and fave

I will be back with the next chapter soon.

Later 'gators!