"I am going back to the dumping ground."

For a few seconds- actually what must have been at least half a minute Cam only looked back at me. Seeming as much as I felt. Kind of nervous, but looking forward to whatever was to come next. Then I was about to tell her about how I ran into Mike at the prison.

It was like everything had just fit together…

Only twenty-four hours ago my future had seemed so scary, and all of those years ago. Was I supposed to spend the rest of my days rotting away in a prison cell?

I guess it was true what Mike had said to me all of those years ago. The future was so easy to change in the time of a heartbeat sometimes.

I blinked and returned from my memories when Cam turned from looking me into the eyes to look down on the house phone that was still blinking. Reminding us that the messages she had left for me were still there.

"Did you listen to the messages?"

I saw in front of me how I ran around in the flat. Taking my camping backpack, pushing down everything I wanted and needed into it. Being all so certain there was no way Cam would ever let me come back, or if I wanted to come back.

Barely hearing a word of Cam's.

"Both yes and no… can't we just delete them and forget they ever happened… " Cam gave me a meaning look. "I'll never steal anything from you again."

"Too right you won't… But I think we both have something to learn from this…" She, once again looked down on the house phone. "I don't think either of us have done much of sleeping, eating or drinking since yesterday. So that's why I think we shouldn't wait with listening to those messages right now."

"Do we have to?" I reached for the delete button but something stopped me from pressing it. "I just want to forget about all of this…"

"Agreed. But… I do think that we could both learn something from it. I know you won't steal from me again. I know I can trust you now… And maybe that's why I also know I have to listen to them…." Cam had taken my hand in her, it felt warm and safe. "It's okay. I'm not angry anymore… But I think we have to do this… and waiting might only make it worse."

A tear rolled down my cheek- it didn't matter where we were now. What had I done?

Still, I didn't stop Cam when she reached out and pressed play on the message button.

You have seven new messages

I could feel myself trembling from head to toe. I wanted to run away or keep my hands over my ears- just anything never to have to listen to these…

Message one

Cam's expression, here and now was showing no feelings. But she was holding onto my hand and it was just as warm, steady and safe as ever when the message started and Cam's voice sounded loud through the hallway.

"How DARE you use my credit card?"

I had never heard Cam sounding so angry. But here and now, standing listening I couldn't even remember exactly how I had done it.

'Is that why you've turned your phone off?

"I was… arrested before you started calling."

"Had I known how fast that would happened I would never have done it right then. I would have used the whole, long flight to calm down and then talk to you before anything else. Just like I should have done all along."

"I just had to ask the editor to cover my hotel bill. Have you any idea how humiliating that was?"

All I had ever really done was cause trouble.

"It's okay." Cam squeezed my hand one more time. "He took it with a grain of salt once I explained it to him. Apparently he has his own kids… That have made… mistakes. And I promised him that I'd pay him back once I had the money… But yes, I think your explanation was as good as any could have ever been. And I'm a writer so maybe I knew that all along."

"Of course." My voice was sounded so weirdly shaky and weak. "That will be my first priority and I…" I sighed deeply. "I kept telling myself that you'd understand." Cam nodded and we both look towards the machine as if we could see her face there.

I was almost expecting Cam to let go of my hand. Instead she held on tight but silently as the messages went by.

"I'm trying your mobile, your mobile's not on."

I could say again, repeat that I had been arrested before she started ringing and therefore I didn't even know she was.

"You need to ring me as soon as you get this, OK?"

I couldn't help but wonder about where I had been when this call went through. Sitting on the bench at the police station? Meeting Liam or trying to figure who he was. Figure something about him so I wouldn't have to think about me and the mess I was in.

I thought back and realized that I too must have heard this message. Just as all of the others. Yet I hadn't been listening and everything must have gone in one ear and out the other.

Now here we were, Cam was still holding onto my hands and was still not showing any emotion. Meanwhile tears were silently rolling down my cheeks. I was the one who put us into this whole mess. I was the reason Cam sounded so angry and that Cam might already be deciding to kick me out was still there.

"Even for you Tracy, this is OUTRAGEOUS!"

When the latest one ended and Cam's voice changed, I was still shaking from head to toe and Cam still holding my hand.

"That's the last… angry…. One." She almost whispered to me before the sixth message played, Cam's voice changed when her last, and sixth message. Her voice went calmer, and kind. More like I was used to hearing it.

"Tracy, I just spoke to a policeman. I didn't know you'd been arrested We'll talk it through tomorrow, okay?"

The phone clicked again and it went over to some random phone commercial. We let it play, but it sounded so far away while new tears rolled down my cheeks and, while Cam was holding onto my hand with one hand she was fingering with my key chain in the other.

It wasn't until now that I remembered I had dropped my keys back through the door when I left.

"Tracy?" Cam kept fingering with the key chain, but I held out my hand and she put it in my palm. I guess she wasn't about to kick me out. "Were you going to run away?"

"I don't know." I lied. "It was only… you must have been so angry…."

"Oh yes I was… But I wasn't going to kick you out. Whatever would make you think I would do something like that?" I didn't answer- I didn't quite know what I had done and what I'd been thinking these past few days. "Oh Tracy…"

"I am so sorry."

"We can't just keep apologizing back and forth like this." Cam squeezed my hand. "But I think it's time for me to go and order some pizza before either of us starve… And I think you'll have to unpack your things again."

I nodded and wiped the last of the tears. But I could see in the way she looked at me that there was something else I needed to do. And when she let go of my hand, and crossing in between boxes filled with my books went into the kitchen I knew exactly what it was.

Cam was right, we couldn't keep apologizing back and forth. All we could do now was to remember so nothing like this would be done again (not that I would though) and with that thought I reached out my hand towards the house phone and deleted all of her messages.

Random fact

I've written so many Oneshots with Tracy lately. Some of them are on a new account, written along with x snow-pony x (IHseries) and some of my own. I just love the relationship Tracy has with Cam and Mike. Who doesn't? So that's why I wanted to write this.

Now I just need to think of a title…