Collect Food And Clean Water: Part Four (That Sinking Feeling/Epilogue)

Author's Note: Here's another update for you guys! I hope you enjoy the finale to this part, and sorry about the weird split. I'm trying to work out the timing for things and it's just bleghhhh. Enjoy!

John Dory was in the water before he could even think about what he was doing.

He plunged into the depths, the water shockingly cold, his body almost instinctively gasping at the drastic change in temperature. But he clamped his jaw shut, forcing himself to move as he twisted around in a panic, searching for any sign of his brother. Rays of sunlight shone down from the surface, stretching into the deep darkness below him. And there, just a few feet beneath him, John Dory caught sight of flowing lime-green hair, shimmering gently in the fading light. Clay.

He dove down further, his arms pumping so fast that he could feel his muscles screaming at him. But he had to get his brother, he had to save him. This is my fault, this is all my fault…

It was darker down here, and he could barely make out the silhouette of his brother's body, but he followed that bright hair like a beacon as he clawed himself deeper and deeper into the lake. Finally, he reached out, grabbing him by the arm. For the briefest of moments, Clay was still, and sharp fear sliced through JD's chest like a knife. But then, his brother grabbed him back, turning his head so John Dory could see his wide, panicked eyes. Clay was flailing, his legs kicking out sloppily, but to no avail. His eyes locked on John Dory, his mouth curling into a terrified, desperate grimace as bubbles of air leaked out from between his clenched teeth.

John Dory immediately pulled his brother towards him, locking his arms under Clay's shoulders and beginning to kick them up to the surface. He could feel his own lungs crying out for air, so he knew he had to hurry. Clay felt so weak in his arms… John Dory bit the side of his cheek, forcing himself to swim faster.

With a final burst of frenzied energy, they broke the surface, John Dory gasping for breath as he hauled Clay towards the beach. Clay did the same, although his gasps were broken up by coughs and retches as his body tried to expel the water from its lungs. As soon as John Dory could touch the bottom, he lifted his brother into his arms, carrying him unsteadily onto the dry land before they both collapsed on the sand, gasps and coughs echoing through the grove.

"What happened?! Are you hurt?!" John Dory choked out, frantically crawling closer to his brother. He looked him up and down, expecting to see blood or a broken bone. He felt as if his heart were about to beat out of his chest. What did I do?!

Clay was still on his hands and knees, coughing, the harsh sound ripping itself from his throat as he took in raspy breaths. "No… no, I'm fine, I just…" he managed to get out, his voice strained as he kept his eyes trained on the ground. "I can't… swim…"

John Dory reeled back, his eyes widening with horror. "What?!" he exclaimed, feeling as if he'd been slapped. Clay… couldn't swim?

Clay coughed again, turning so he could sit down, his breathing still slightly labored. "I mean, there wasn't any water by the Troll Tree, and especially none in the golf course. And when I fell… It was just so deep, and it was dark, and I couldn't find the surface, and–" Another bout of coughs interrupted his rambling, shaking his thin frame. "I didn't realize how far out above the water we were. Gosh, that was really stupid."

John Dory was in shock, feeling as if the world was caving in on him. He's the one who coaxed Clay up into the tree. He's the one who distracted his brother with mindless games. He's the one who knocked his brother down into the lake.

That fall could have killed him.

He was barely coherent as Clay forced himself to take a deep breath, his shoulders relaxing a bit, but shivering in the cold. "Whoo, that was terrifying. Thanks for the save, JD. Let's never do that again, yeah?"

Before he really knew what was happening, John Dory lunged forward, wrapping his arms around Clay in a tight hug. He cupped his hand around his brother's head, pulling him in close. Memories flickered through his mind, images of Clay as a kid, sprinting around, laughing, always causing trouble with a mischievous look in his eyes… And memories of Clay as he was now too, his sarcastic humor, his weird obsessions… He could have lost that today. Just like he'd thought he'd lost him before.

He was shaking. When did he start shaking?

Clay seemed to stiffen under his touch, but slowly, he brought his arms up, hugging John Dory back. "Woah, easy, we're cool," Clay said, laughing nervously. "It was an accident. Accidents happen. It's not like you knew I couldn't swim."

No, but I should have known better.

Suddenly, he let his brother go, pushing himself back so there was a bit of distance between them. He brought a hand up to hair, gripping it tightly as he turned away. What was he doing? He'd been so caught up in 'fixing' himself that in his distraction, he'd almost let Clay drown. How could he be so selfish? So stupid? What if he hadn't been quick enough? This wasn't a game anymore. His actions today could have cost his brother his life. Thoughts swirled around his fatigued mind like a storm as guilt seemed to make his stomach flip.

Clay seemed to pick up on this, the concern on his face mixing with the water and glitter. "John, seriously, it's fine. You got me; we're good. I should have been more careful anyways, I–" he gazed at him uneasily. "Look, why don't we just gather up the rest of the food, and–"

"No!"

The panicked word pulled itself from his chest, and he rose abruptly to his feet, pulling his brother up with him. He couldn't stay out here with Clay. He couldn't spend another moment out here with Clay. It was dangerous out here, and clearly, John Dory couldn't protect him. He was a liability, and Clay wasn't safe around him. Clay shouldn't be anywhere near him. None of his brothers should.

They needed to go home. Now.

"We have to go," he managed to get out, feeling as if his throat was closing up.

"What? But what about the food?" Clay asked, his expression a mix of confusion and concern.

"We have to go home," John Dory repeated, grabbing his brother's hand and pulling him along with him. Clay hesitantly allowed himself to be led away, looking utterly shocked at his brother's behavior. He started to ask JD questions, but John Dory couldn't make out what he was saying over the blood rushing in his ears.

As he led Clay off into the woods, he could almost hear a voice in the back of his mind whisper:

Collect Food and Clean Water: Failed

But he didn't care anymore. He needed to get his brother home, where he was safe. He'd failed at more than some stupid routine today. He'd failed his brother. The least he could do was get him home in one piece.

John Dory was hyper alert as he dragged his brother through the forest, adrenaline still pumping through his veins as he snapped his head around to every sound, every slight movement he saw. His ears twitched, and he resisted the urge to rub at them. Had the forest always been so loud? Every heavy footfall on the leafy ground seemed to jab into his already aching head, but he pressed on. He needed Clay to be safe.

Clay was quiet now, his silence a stark difference from how they were before.

Finally, the forest started to look familiar again, and John Dory spotted the outskirts of Pop Village. But he felt no sense of relief. Clay wouldn't be safe until he was AWAY from him. After pausing for a moment to get his bearings, he immediately turned off towards Branch's bunker, pulling Clay along with him, which is when the younger troll began to protest again.

"John, just stop! What are you doing?" Clay demanded, but John Dory didn't reply. He felt like his mouth was full of cotton.

As he skirted around the edges of a clearing, he spotted a familiar figure standing at one of the booths set up there. Viva. Yes, Viva, Clay would be safe with Viva. He changed his course, heading directly towards the pink troll.

Viva perked up as they approached, a smile stretching across her face. "Hey guys! How was your–"

John Dory didn't let her finish. Instead, he practically pushed Clay away from him, into her arms. He took a step back, finally feeling the smallest semblance of relief. He'd got Clay home. He'd be ok now.

Clay stumbled for a moment as he fell into Viva, the pink troll's eyes widening into a look of surprise and confusion as she caught him. "Clay? What hap–" Before she could finish her sentence, Clay whipped around, eyes narrowed.

"What the heck is going on with you?" he shouted, his hair bristling.

John Dory was breathing heavily, though whether it was from panic or legging it through the woods, he wasn't sure. His jaw felt so tight, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to speak. But he forced himself to, the words coming out in almost a hiss.

"This was a bad idea…" he said, refusing to look at his brother as his hands clenched and unclenched. Why did he ever think something like this could work? How could he be so stupid? Oh gosh… his brain seemed to sob. I almost killed him…

"What are you talking about?" Clay replied intensely. "It was an accident, JD."

"Clay, what happened?" Viva jumped in, grabbing Clay's arm. "Gosh, you're freezing…"

Clay looked between her and John Dory, his face scrunched up with frustration. "We were just messing around," he explained. "We were up in a tree, and JD accidentally knocked me off into a lake."

Viva let out a quiet gasp. Clearly she was aware of Clay's little issue with swimming. "Are you alright?" she asked, looking her boyfriend up and down, her face uncharacteristically serious.

"I'm fine!" Clay exclaimed, his hair bristling again. "It's him I'm worried about!" he gestured dramatically out towards John Dory, who felt his body tense up even tighter as the two trolls locked eyes with him. "He's been freaking out since we left the lake!"

Clay marched over to him, jabbing a finger into his chest. "You've been acting weird all day, and I know this is more than you just being spooked by what happened, so I'll say it again." Clay's eyes glowed fiercely, staring into John Dory's. "What is going on with you?"

John Dory's throat felt tight. He stared up at Clay, guilt so strong he felt like he was curling into himself. "Nothing, I–" he said, the words slipping out of his mouth almost on instinct.

"Don't give me that! We both know that's not true!" Clay nearly shouted, his hands balled into fists. His face curled up into a frustrated snarl, but he seemed to swallow it down, unclenching his hands. He reached up, clamping both his hands tightly on JD's shoulders. "Just, talk to me, John Dory," Clay said softly, his eyes wide and pleading. "Please."

John Dory opened his mouth for a moment, before slowly letting it close. He couldn't talk to Clay, even if he wanted to. The words seemed to die in his throat. He looked down at the ground, feeling that aching numbness spread across his body again. He gently grabbed Clay's wrists, pulling them off his shoulders and setting them at his brother's side.

I'm sorry, Clay. I can't…

Clay looked down at his hands, ears drooping, before turning back up towards John Dory, frustration and anger once again surging to life on his face. "I don't understand," he growled, a look of hurt flashing across his eyes. "I don't understand why you won't just talk to me! You're just pulling the same crap you always did back when we were kids!"

John Dory winced, his ears pinned up against the side of his skull. He hated seeing his brother so upset like this. He hated that it was his fault. The words of the Vacationers popped into his head again. Maybe he really was just toxic. Always has been, always will be.

Clay laughed, a hysterical laugh as he gripped his forehead. "Hah, I can't believe this. All that talk of change… Was that just another one of your lies?" Clay hissed, practically shaking with anger. "You just keep doing the same thing, over and over again. Just like when we were growing up, just like with BroZone, just like with Branch's bunker. All the lies, all the pretending… I just don't understand!"

Clay brought a hand up to his chest. "You still look at me the same way, don't you? As some stupid, naive little kid who could never take anything seriously. Well you know what I see when I look at you, John Dory? I see a stupid little kid who never matured enough to admit that maybe he isn't perfect. Who's still too proud to admit that something's wrong."

"Clay…" Viva spoke up, a warning tone to her voice.

"No!" Clay yelled back, his eyes narrowed. "If he's going to act like a child, then fine, I will too. I'm going to find Branch. At least he actually treats me like an adult." Clay spun around, facing towards Branch's bunker. But before he left, he looked back over his shoulder, his eyes full of angry tears. "Why don't you do us all a favor, John Dory, and grow up."

Yep, that one stung.

"Clay!" Viva barked, but Clay was already stalking off, disappearing amongst the brush. She shot a look back at John Dory, a frantic look on her face. "He didn't mean that," she said quickly. "He's just upset."

John Dory nodded, but said nothing. It was true, Clay could be a bit of a hothead sometimes. But his words were also true. JD was the same. The same old stupid, selfish, imperfect, broken John Dory. And that would never change, no matter how hard he tried.

John Dory felt that heavy feeling in his gut again, that icy chill leaching out across his body. He didn't even have to look down to know he'd just become a bit more gray. But right now, he just didn't care. He couldn't stop seeing Clay's face, deep below the surface of the water, his eyes wide with panic…

His breath caught in his throat. He needed to leave.

He spun around on his heels, about to make his way back over to Rhonda, when the world seemed to spin with him. He stumbled forward a bit, catching himself on a rock as his stomach seemed to completely flip. Without meaning too, he retched, bile burning his throat as his already empty stomach tried to heave. He was shaking again.

Suddenly, he felt a strong hand grip his shoulder. He pried an eye open to see Viva at his side, her face a look of silent concern. He let his gaze fall back down to the ground as he turned away from her, feeling as if he wanted to curl into a ball.

"Clay's fine, John." He heard her say softly, her grip tightening slightly.

"...I know," he mumbled, the words feeling strange and foreign in his mouth.

"He's ok," she said again, dropping her hand down to rub his back.

"I know," he repeated, his eyes squeezing shut.

"He's embarrassed and upset, and he's worried about you," she continued, her voice gentle and soothing. "I am too. I think you should sit down for a second…"

John Dory shook his head, pushing himself up so he could stand. "No, I…" he started, walking away from her. Now that Clay was gone, so was the numbness, and the panic he'd felt before was coming back. He grabbed at his hair, his breaths coming out short and shaky. "I could have lost him today," he said, his voice breaking.

"But you didn't," Viva replied, striding over to him. "It was an accident, John Dory. It could have been bad, but it wasn't. Because you were there."

"If I wasn't there, it wouldn't have happened in the first place!" John Dory almost yelled, hating how shaky his voice sounded. "You don't understand, I… I can't lose him, not again."

Viva's eyes widened, a knowing look on her face. She reached out, taking John Dory's trembling hand into her own. "I do understand," she said softly, her face growing distant and sad. "I know what it's like to lose someone, and I know what it's like to get them back." She grimaced, her grip tightening slightly. "And I also know what it feels like to think you're losing them all over again." She blinked quickly, turning her gaze back up towards him. "It's ok to be scared."

John Dory felt his shoulders fall, his heart dropping into his chest. "I have to go," he said, the words tumbling out of his mouth. He couldn't stay here any longer. He just needed to be alone.

"No, you need to talk to your brothers," Viva insisted, her eyes growing intense. "You need to tell them about this."

No, he couldn't. Not like this. His eyes flicked down to his pale skin, that panic once again growing in his chest. He still needed to fix this. He'd fix it, and then they could talk. He needed more time…

"I have to help Floyd," he said finally, pulling his hand back. It wasn't a lie. Floyd's appointment was tomorrow. He'd just leave tonight, and then he'd have plenty of time to fix things. He'd fix himself, help Floyd, come back, and they could all be happy again. He could still fix this. He cleared his throat, hoping his voice was less shaky now. "Floyd's got a doctor's appointment, and I promised I'd be there, so I have to go."

"John, you're not ok," Viva replied firmly, her eyes flashing. "You can't just leave, not now."

"I have to," he said quickly, grabbing Branch's notepad from his hair along with a dull pencil. He did his best to write on it, his handwriting hardly legible, but it would do.

Going 2 help Floyd. Dr. apt. Wont b here for sun. B back soon. I promise.

He reached out, setting the notepad in Viva's hands. "Can you give that to Branch?" he asked, his entire body itching to leave. If he stayed here another moment, he was really going to have a breakdown.

Viva stared at the notesheet, her mouth curled into a frown. "You should give it to him yourself," she replied, holding it back out to him. "C'mon, John Dory, talk to them. They're worried about you. I'm worried about you."

"I will, I promise I will, I just…" He needed to go. "Please, Viva," he begged her, pushing the notepad back towards her.

She stared into his eyes for a moment before she finally tucked the notepad up in her wild hair, her shoulders sagging in defeat. "Ok, ok…" she said slowly, her jaw growing tight. "But you will talk to them when you get back. You can't go on like this."

John Dory swallowed, but nodded. "Thank you…" he murmured in relief. Suddenly, Viva leaned forward, wrapping him in a tight hug. She really was strong. He hesitated for a moment, then hugged her back, gratitude practically bursting out of him.

"We're your family, John Dory," Viva whispered, holding him close. "We'll be there for you no matter what." Then she let him go, a sad smile on her face. "Be careful, ok?" she said, her eyes troubled. "Please come back soon."

John Dory nodded again, dread filling his already twisting stomach. Without another word, he turned around, slowly walking off into the woods.

As he grew closer to Rhonda, he felt himself begin to walk faster, picking up the pace until he was practically running to her. He burst through the bushes, racing towards the large critter, who perked her head up from where she was sleeping. She cooed a greeting as John Dory sprinted up to her face. She almost seemed to do a double take as she looked at him. He could only imagine what he looked like, still soaking wet, covered in glitter, and oh yeah, even more gray. His heart seemed to lurch with fear. He reached out almost desperately, petting her and listening to her hum against his side.

He wanted to stay there, just for a little while longer. He was so, so tired… But if he stayed, he was going to break down. He could already feel the sobs building in his chest, the despair crawling across his skin. No, he needed to leave. He had to keep moving. If he stopped, he was going to fall apart. He didn't have time to fall apart. He needed to fix this, for his brothers' sake. He pressed his face into Rhonda's, squeezing his eyes shut for just a moment, before he forced himself to pull away, walking around to her side. Within seconds, he was sitting in the driver's seat, steering them both of them off into the darkness.

He wasn't running away, he was going to help Floyd. He'd promised his brother he would be there for him. It was fine. He was fine.

If he'd stayed there a few minutes more, he might have seen Branch and Clay come racing across the clearing, their faces matching looks of worry. But by then, he was long gone.

Author's Note: Real quick note, try not to hate on Clay. In my mind, Clay has a hard time understanding emotions in the first place, so when John Dory refused to tell him anything, he just kept getting more and more frustrated. Also, Clay has some underlying anger issues from never being taken seriously when he was a kid so... Just wanted to make a note of that, to make sure I got my point across!