Find Shelter: Reprise
Author's Note: This is it guys, we're in the endgame now! We've got about five chapters left, including this one. Are you crying? I am. Anyways, these chapters will take place over the month(ish) following JD's breakdown, with this one occurring right after and the others just kind of following. Also, I really don't want to split these chapters up, so they may get kind of long, which will make updates a little less frequent, we'll see. I'm trying to be nicer to myself about updating lol.
John Dory woke up on the floor of Rhonda, so many blankets stacked on top of him it was nearly suffocating.
He blinked slowly, waiting for his mind to wake up as well. It was kind of nice; not waking up in a panic. His dreams were… scattered last night, to say the least. He could remember there were definitely mirrors, of course there were mirrors, but his reflection had seemed to constantly shift and change. Sometimes, it was just him, and the grayness that clung to his skin. Other times it was him when he was much, much younger. Sometimes it was his Dad, and he was even sure he saw Branch once or twice. But as his mind slowly crawled back to reality, he could feel the memories of the dreams fading, and memories of the day before coming back.
He let out a groan, massaging his forehead a bit. His head was still pounding, his eyes slightly puffy. He wondered if he'd been crying in his sleep.
He pushed himself into a sitting position, letting the blankets sit draped on his shoulders as he looked around. Rhonda was empty now, except for…
"B?"
His voice felt raspy as he called out to his little brother, the indigo-haired troll looking through a familiar old leather photo album a few feet away from him. Branch perked up, turning towards the sound of his name as he closed the scrapbook softly.
"Hey," Branch said, tucking it back up into his hair. "How are you feeling?"
Good, good, never better! Was the response that popped into John Dory's head, but he quickly shut it down. C'mon, John Dory, honesty. Be honest.
"I… don't know yet," he replied, rubbing the back of his neck. His head seemed to throb again, causing him to wince. "Ugh, I have a terrible headache though."
"I can imagine," Branch replied with a chuckle, a sad smile on his face. "Yesterday was kinda a lot, wasn't it?"
John Dory let out another groan, leaning back up against the side of Rhonda. "You could say that again," he mumbled, rubbing at his puffy eyes. He turned his gaze up towards the window, squinting at the light flowing from it. "Geez, what time is it?"
"Late afternoon," Branch replied easily, climbing to his feet.
John Dory blinked in surprise. Late afternoon? Had he really been sleeping that long? He could still feel the heavy exhaustion weighing his body down, threatening to pull him back into the warm blankets wrapped around him. Man, he really needed some caffeine…
He pushed himself to his feet, feeling slightly unsteady for a moment before getting his bearings. He could see his glove and goggles set neatly off to the side, so he quickly slid both of them back on. He then made his way over to the kitchen, where Branch was starting to heat up a pot of water, already having set bags of tea in both their mugs.
"I have hot chocolate, you know," John Dory offered, knowing his younger brother's love for hot chocolate almost rivaled his own.
"I know," Branch chirped, shooting John Dory a look. "But herbal tea will help you get better and it'll be easier on your stomach."
"Wha…" John Dory gasped, bewildered. "C'mon, B, I'm not sick or anything."
Branch shot him a steely look, as if challenging him to say that again. "It'll help," Branch repeated sternly, turning his attention away from John Dory and slowly pouring the now steaming water into their mugs. "You also need to sleep, and herbal tea helps soothe the body."
"So does hot chocolate," John Dory grumbled, letting out a huff. Branch walked over, holding out the mug of tea to him, and after a moment of hesitation, he took it, breathing in the warm, earthy scent. "But… thanks."
"You're welcome," Branch said, closing his eyes and breathing in the scent from his own tea as well. A small smile grew on his face, a hint of amusement playing across his lips as he looked back towards John Dory. "Y'know, I could always ask Floyd to make you one of his smoothies."
"Ugh, gosh no," John Dory replied, feeling the corners of his mouth curl up into a smile as well. "The amount of sugar in those things will kill me faster than my own mood swings will."
This made Branch laugh, the sound like music to John Dory's ears. John Dory sipped a bit of the tea, the taste odd, but not bad. He could get used to this.
However, as he looked down at his mug, his eyes latched on to his dull fingers, his mood quickly souring. Branch seemed to pick up on this, moving closer to him.
"It's alright, John," he assured him gently.
"I know," John Dory replied, his ears drooping as his grip tightened on his mug. "I know, it just…" He bit his cheek, trying to find the right words. "It just feels so hopeless, you know?"
"I know," Branch replied, looking down at his own mug.
"What if I lost them forever?" John Dory asked, a slight shakiness to his voice.
"I told you, it doesn't work like that," Branch insisted, turning his gaze back towards John Dory. "They fluctuate." He looked John Dory up and down, a smile returning to his face. "You're already a bit brighter than you were yesterday."
John Dory's ears flicked up, surprised, before he brought his hand up closer to his face, squinting at his skin. He felt a sense of relief wash over him. Branch was right. It was barely noticeable, just the smallest change in hue, but it was there, the faintest hint of blue amongst the heavy, colorless gray. His colors weren't gone, they were just hard to see right now. He set his tea down, cupping his hands towards his chest almost desperately. They were still there.
"I guess you don't feel as hopeless as you did last night," Branch mused.
"I guess not…" John Dory replied, his voice cracking slightly. He could feel his eyes threatening to start tearing up again, so he quickly shook his head, grabbing his tea and taking a sip to try to wash the lump forming in his throat back down.
Branch's smile turned slightly bittersweet as he stared back down at the mug in his hands, shoulders growing tense. "Thank you for trusting us," he said hesitantly, as if he was worried it wasn't the right thing to say. "I know that wasn't easy for you, but… it means a lot."
John Dory looked down at his own mug, the warmth seeming to leech from his hands into his heart. "Thank you for helping me," he replied, smiling softly. They didn't need to say anything else; there was some sort of unspoken understanding that seemed to flash between them.
After a moment, John Dory broke the silence, clearing his throat. "So uh, where's everyone else?"
"Oh, right, they're in your pod," Branch replied, downing the rest of his drink and setting his mug aside. John Dory couldn't help but feel a sense of dread rising in his chest, his ears drooping down once again.
"My… my pod?" he stammered, hand tightening on his mug. Memories of broken glass and scattered photos flickered through his mind.
"Yep," Branch said coolly. John Dory could see the faintest hint of excitement in his brother's eyes. "Getting ready for the party."
"Wha… party?" John Dory asked, confused. "What party?"
"Your pod warming party," Branch replied, crossing his arms over his chest. "They've been decorating it all day." John Dory blinked, his eyes scanning around Rhonda's interior. He had thought his walls looked a little bare…
Branch's expression darkened a bit, turning to look at the floor. "Look, I… I know that this whole 'pod thing' is a little much for you right now, and I want you to take your time with it…" Branch paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. "But I just wanted to show you that you can make this your home. I-if you want it to be, that is." He quickly looked back up at John Dory, holding his hands up as he began to ramble. "I mean, I don't want you to feel pressured or anything, or think I'm forcing you to stay here, I just think you deserve to have a place where you feel safe, and I–"
John Dory held up his hands as well, making calming motions with them. "Woah woah, easy B," he said, cutting through his brother's nervous rambling. "I know what you mean." He bit his cheek, eyes flicking back and forth. He knew how much this meant to his brother. He swallowed down the apprehension in his gut, trying to drum up some confidence. He had to at least try. "I'll… give it a shot, alright?"
A grin stretched across Branch's face, his eyes shining with excitement even though he was trying so hard to contain it. "That's all I wanted to hear," he replied, grabbing John Dory's hand and leading him towards the door. And with the slightest bit of hesitance, John Dory let him.
They made their way outside, the bright sunlight causing John Dory's head to pound. He closed his eyes, blocking out the light and just allowing the sun to warm him for a moment. That is, before two large paws grabbed him, slamming him onto the ground.
"Ah! Rhonda!" he gasped, practically pinned down as the large critter shivered with delight. She let out a loud coo before starting to lick him, soaking his hair in glitter within seconds. "Rhonda! Down girl, easy! You know this doesn't wash out!" he cried, trying to escape her clutches. But she tended to take after him in the worst of ways, stubbornly clamping her paws down harder as she continued to lick his hair into strange shapes.
"Uh, do I need to be concerned?" He heard Branch call from a few feet away, unable to hide his laughter at John Dory's plight.
"Augh, no, she just gets like this sometimes," John Dory replied, having resigned himself to his fate as Rhonda continued to cover him in glitter. He flipped around on his back, grabbing the large critters face to try and halt her incessant licking. "Rhonda, I'm fine, girl, I'm good!" She hummed at him, nuzzling her face into his own. He did the same, petting her cheeks. "It's ok, I'm sorry for worrying you, I'm good."
After a few moments, she finally let him up, giving him one last affectionate coo. He stumbled over towards Branch, shaking the glittery mess from his hair. "Ugh, gross!" Branch yelped, jumping back to avoid the splatter. "That's disgusting."
"Yep, that's Rhonda." John Dory chuckled fondly, wiping his face and slyly flicking it over towards his brother.
Branch immediately dodged, face curling up in disgust as he rolled his eyes. However, John Dory didn't miss the small smile on his face as he spun around on his heels, making his way over to John Dory's pod. JD's eyes flicked up from his little brother to the large, felted structure, feeling his good mood dampen as anxiety began to prickle across his skin. But he followed after Branch anyways, trying to ignore the way his heart began to race.
Branch knocked on the door, and within seconds, it swung open, revealing a slightly sweaty Bruce inside. He smiled welcomingly at Branch before his eyes locked on John Dory, the smile growing even wider as his ears perked up. "Hey! You're up!" he said cheerily, his good mood enough to brighten John Dory's, just a little bit. He strode over, immediately wrapping his oldest brother in a huge hug, which John Dory gratefully accepted, almost melting into his brother's touch. After a moment, Bruce pushed him back, tilting his head coyly. "Must be weird for you, finally getting good sleep for once, huh?"
"Yeah yeah…" John Dory replied, letting out a huff. "I don't see the big draw; I'm still exhausted." As if to cement this in, he let out a yawn, rubbing at his face tiredly. "And Bitty B has forbidden me from having any caffeine. He's mean, Bruce. This is elder abuse."
"I think you'll manage," Bruce chuckled, throwing an arm over JD's shoulders. "You've been sleep deprived for… what, your whole life? I think a little sleep will do you good." He squeezed his brother's shoulders comfortingly, before pulling away, walking back towards the entrance of the pod. "Anyways, we're just about done setting up," he continued, peering over his shoulders as he stood in the doorway. "You want to see?"
John Dory exchanged a look with Branch, who nodded encouragingly before walking inside. He let out a sigh, summoning some strength as he stepped forward, joining Bruce at the entrance but not stepping inside just yet. As he looked through the door of the pod, he felt his mouth drop open.
Man, his brothers really had been busy.
Strings of lights were hung around the walls of the pod, bathing the whole thing in a warm, yellow tone. Different bits of Brozone memorabilia hung from the walls and sat on shelves that Branch must have brought from his bunker. He even saw pots and pans from inside Rhonda now stacked neatly in the kitchen, along with the new addition of a large kitchen table, which also looked like something Branch might have dragged out of his bunker. But what really drew his attention were the pictures.
Picture frames hung from the walls, frames he knew he hadn't had before. It was as if his brothers had picked some of their favorites. John Dory could see a lot of his favorites as well. He spotted one from when they'd won their first Battle of the Bands, he and his brothers' cheering around their giant trophy. And another one where they were pretending to camp, sitting in front of their giant blanket fort eating marshmallows from a bag. Memories swirled through his mind, and he felt his lips stretch up into a grin.
Floyd turned from where he was fitting another photo into a frame, his face lighting up. He quickly leapt to his feet, smiling. "John!" he exclaimed, walking over and giving his brother a hug.
Clay's ears twitched at Floyd's voice, looking up with a start from where he was meticulously hanging the frames, both a ruler and a level in his hands. He spun around, his hair poofing out to cover up the wall. "Ah! Don't look! It's not ready yet! Bruce, I told you to warn me!"
"Chill, Clay, it's fine," Bruce replied, rolling his eyes. Clay let out an annoyed huff, but begrudgingly withdrew his hair. John Dory stared in awe at the shining pod, completely dumbstruck.
"You guys… did this all for me?" he asked breathily.
"Well yeah," Clay replied, his eyes locked on the ground as he nervously fidgeted with his hands. "We didn't want to leave it… well, like it was."
"Do you like it?" Floyd asked, eyes shining as he held John Dory's hand.
"Like it?!" He laughed, almost giddily. "Guys, it's–"
Perfect
Suddenly, he felt like something had flipped. He looked around, eyes tracing over all the hard work his brothers had done. And then slowly, they fell towards the floor, landing on a large, still visible dent in the wood, along with a new scrape right next to it. Right… He'd been in here what, twice? And both times, he'd managed to make a mess of things. And after his brothers had worked so hard too…
John Dory felt himself take a small step back, dread settling heavy in his chest. Branch immediately walked over, a worried look on his face. "Was this too much?" he asked nervously.
"No no, Branch, that's not…" he started, ears drooping down. He looked around at each of his brothers, guilt churning in his stomach. "It's beautiful, guys, really, it's perfect." He didn't miss the way his brothers seemed to flinch at that word.
John Dory hugged his arms to himself, lips pursed in a tight line as he trained his gaze towards the ground. Talk to them, John Dory, he thought, closing his eyes for a moment. Just talk to them.
"Look, guys, I… I just have a tendency to ruin nice things," he managed to say, holding his arms a bit tighter. "And I think this is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me, so maybe we just wait till I'm not… till I'm better, ok?"
He flicked his gaze back up to his brothers, waiting to see looks of disappointment. But he didn't. Instead, he was just met with matching looks of worry and concern. He locked eyes with Branch in particular, who seemed to be staring at him with that analytical look on his face that he sometimes got. Oh… He was trying to figure out what John Dory was referring to. JD felt his shoulders tense.
Don't look at the marks, don't look at the marks… John Dory chided to himself, trying to keep his eyes locked firmly upwards. But his body seemed to betray him, eyes flicking down for a brief second to the scuffed floor. Branch picked up on that instantly, following John Dory's line of sight. Dang it!
Branch squatted down, running a finger over the large scuffs in the wood. "This?" he asked, turning a sharp gaze back up towards John Dory. He did not have to elaborate further. JD felt his face flush, his ears beginning to burn as he looked away from his brother's scalding stare.
"Look, I just don't want to mess anything else up while I'm still out of it, ok?" John Dory said defensively, shoulders hunched. "So maybe I should–"
Suddenly, he was cut off as he heard a loud, scraping sound, the sound of wood grinding on wood. He looked up, startled, to see Branch had grabbed one of the legs to the kitchen table, pushing the whole thing across the floor. Large scratches were left in its wake.
"Ah! Branch, what are you doing?!" he yelped, eyes locked on the new scrapes.
"I didn't help make this place for you to just gawk at it and keep it perfect," Branch replied, climbing to his feet and crossing his arms stubbornly over his chest. He purposely leaned heavily up against the table, causing it to shift again, the sound grinding into John Dory's ears. "I made it for you to live in."
Bruce seemed to pick up on what Branch was doing, a mischievous smile flashing across his face. "Yeah," he said, walking over to the couch with a shrug. "Would definitely be a shame if this place started to look lived in." He flopped down on the couch, the movement causing another grating noise against the floor as he kicked his heels up onto the armrest. He then reached up, plucking a long, purple hair from his head, and let it fall slowly to the floor.
Floyd laughed at this, clearly amused. He shot a sly look over towards John Dory before licking the tips of his fingers, reaching above him to draw streaks on one of the windows. "A real, real, shame," he chuckled, eyes sparkling.
Even Clay got in on the action. He turned around, rubbing his chin, before shifting one of the picture frames, making it so it was leaning to the left. He nodded approvingly before shooting a cheeky look back over at John Dory.
Meanwhile, John Dory was once again struck speechless. But he quickly shook his head, regaining his composure. "Woah woah woah, stop!" he exclaimed, stepping inside to gently shoo Floyd away from the window, where his brother was currently smearing looping hearts on the glass. "C'mon, guys, I'm going to have to clean all this up now!"
"What a shame."
John Dory turned towards Branch's voice, a smug smile playing across his brother's lips. And he realized with a start that Branch got exactly what he wanted. John Dory had stepped inside. Ooo, his brother was good.
John Dory looked around nervously, that heavy feeling still in his gut. But it was… less now. Yeah, there were even more scrapes and things were a little messy but, it wasn't 'messed up.' He slowly felt the tension in his shoulders ease, just a little bit. Until he saw Bruce dropping another one of his long, purple hairs onto the floor.
"Bruce!" he chastised, rubbing his forehead in exasperation.
"What?" Bruce replied innocently. "I want you to find these months from now and remember that your favorite brother was here. It's a gift."
"It's not," John Dory grumbled, setting his hands on his hips. But he couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face. "And I don't have a favorite brother. You're all equally unbearable in your own special ways."
He once again let his eyes trace around the pod. "Thank you," he said quietly, his voice a bit husky. "It really is amazing."
"Of course," Floyd chirped, grabbing his hands with shining eyes. "You deserve it."
Did he? He wasn't sure. But regardless, this truly was the most amazing thing anyone had ever done for him. He could remember Branch's words from a while ago, echoing in his head:
You have to make it your home.
And as he looked around at his brothers, their faces eager and smiling, he realized that he wanted this. He wanted this to be his home. It wasn't yet, but it was a start.
He cleared his throat, drawing Floyd in for a side hug. "So uh, what's this about a pod-warming party?"
John Dory sat by Bruce and Floyd, helping them stick the last few photos in picture frames before handing them off to Clay, who insisted he had to hang them up because of the meticulous measuring system he had in place. Branch was in the kitchen, cooking up something that smelled amazing. John Dory had offered to help him, but the youngest troll was quick to shut him down, sending him off to picture duty. Stupid younger brother privilege.
Eventually, they all had dinner, which tasted just as good as it smelled, before also having a cake Bruce had baked earlier. It was pretty cool to see how much his fire-prone little brother's baking skills had improved. The cake was delicious.
Finally, they found themselves sitting on or near John Dory's couch, just chatting quietly about this and that. JD wouldn't exactly describe it as a 'party,' at least not in troll terms, but it still felt amazing. He was genuinely just enjoying being in his brothers' company. And the longer he stayed in this pod, the more comfortable he felt in it. He was laughing about a story Floyd had just finished, about him breaking two of his guitar strings while performing a solo onstage, when Branch brought out a small, crudely wrapped gift box, setting it on John Dory's lap.
John Dory blinked in surprise, looking up at his little brother. "What is this?" he asked, confused.
"It's a pod-warming gift," Branch replied, coughing nervously. "From all of us. I wasn't going to wrap it, but Poppy says gifts feel more special that way, so…"
John Dory looked back down, feeling his brothers' eyes watching him closely. He hesitated for a moment, then slowly began unwrapping the gift, tracing carefully along the seams. His eyes widened when he realized what it was.
A camera.
"We know how much you like those old scrapbooks," Bruce said, setting a hand on his shoulder. "So we thought maybe, now that we're all together again, we could start making some new ones."
"Wow, I… I don't know what to say," John Dory admitted, holding the camera gingerly in his hands. He blinked his eyes quickly, feeling them beginning to sting again.
"You can start with this," Floyd chimed in, gently grabbing the camera from John Dory and climbing to his feet. He held it out with one arm, facing the lens towards his brothers. "Say cheese!"
"Wait, I didn't agree to this!" Branch yelped, trying to escape. But Clay grabbed him by the vest, pulling him back down onto the couch, John Dory locking an arm around his shoulders. He laughed, ruffling Branch's mussed hair as he heard the camera click, capturing that moment.
Floyd quickly walked back over, and they all gathered around as the photo developed. As it slowly came into view, John Dory felt his heart swell. Floyd was in the foreground, smiling as amusement danced across his eyes. He could see Bruce grinning along with Clay, who stared mischievously down at Branch, the younger troll looking disgruntled, his hair puffed out. And John Dory could see himself, sat in the middle, laughing, a true smile on his face as he made his brother's hair even more messy. He gently took the picture from Floyd, tracing his fingers over the corner. He loved it.
"You guys suck," Branch grumbled, fixing his hair.
"Stop, you love us," Bruce teased, reaching over to mess it up again. Branch quickly ducked away, scampering to hide behind Floyd.
John Dory continued to look at the photo, his eyes settling on how… dull he looked next to his brothers. He stubbornly set his jaw, ears drooping slightly. He had something he needed to do. "Hey, guys?" he said in a small voice, causing his brothers to look back over towards him. He swallowed the fearful lump forming in his throat, taking a deep breath. "I think I'm ready to talk now."
And so he did. He told them everything. Well, as much as his scattered mind could put together at the time. He told them about going back to their pod, a few weeks after trollstice, and running to the Neverglade Trail after his colors started to fade. He told them about starting to gray again, and his attempts at trying to make it stop. He told them about the routine, about his failure at each step, and how things seemed to continue to spiral from there. And he told them about running to that lake, and what made him come back. They didn't speak the entire time, just listening as he continued to ramble. Which was good; John Dory didn't really know if he could actually "talk" talk about this right now. He just wanted to get it all out, to be completely honest with them, for once in his life.
When all was said and done, and he had spewed out as much as he could about the past week, he felt out of breath, his energy completely drained. The exhaustion from before was starting to crawl back into his body, which was trembling slightly.
"I'm sorry for scaring you guys," he murmured, struggling to keep his eyes open. "I didn't mean to scare you. I was just so lost. You guys are everything to me, and I… I thought I was making everything worse, just by being here."
Bruce, who had draped an arm over JD's shoulders earlier, finally spoke, his face grim. "It's ok, man. You did scare us but… I'm so glad you're here. We all are. I'm really glad you finally came to us for help."
"We're here for you," Floyd added, resting a hand on John Dory's shaking ones. "No matter what."
"You can trust us," Clay whispered from his side, burying his head into his shoulder.
John Dory felt tears once again begin to roll down his face, but this time, he didn't try to stop them. He just let them fall. "Thank you," he replied, barely above a whisper. He could see Branch looking at him, a proud smile on his face. John Dory gave him a weak smile back. He took a few shuddering breaths, his body slumping with exhaustion. "I think I need to lay down."
"C'mere," Bruce said, helping John Dory to his feet. Together, they walked up into the loft, where the bed Branch had made for him so long ago sat pristine and untouched. Bruce lay down on one side, motioning for John Dory to join him, which JD quickly obliged. He tiredly crawled in next to his brother, flopping down with a huff. He could feel Clay and Floyd snuggle in by them, their warm presence pulling him deeper into his own exhaustion. And finally, even Branch joined in, John Dory feeling his youngest brother pull his goggles from his head, setting them aside before laying next to him as well. John Dory couldn't help but be reminded of the picture Bruce had given them, the memory making his heart grow warm.
He wasn't sure if the pod felt like home yet, but being with his brothers sure helped.
Someone, he wasn't sure who, began to run their fingers through his hair, the soothing gesture the last thing he felt before he drifted into unconsciousness.