"I've made an executive decision," Ron announces, sitting down on the library chair.
Harry, Neville, Merlin, Daphne, and Blaise have all just left for the break- or, they had earlier that morning. Ron just finished playing chess with McGonagall. He feels pretty good- he'd won two out of three games.
Both Hermione and Theo look up at him, looking bemused.
"For the next week, Hermione is a Slytherin," Ron continues.
"Um," Hermione says. "Ron, I hate to say this, but I really don't think that's how it works."
"We could break into Dumbledore's office and ask the Hat," Theo says.
Ron would appreciate the support, but he's ninety-six percent sure that the only reason Theo is suggesting that at all is so they can also 'accidentally' break a couple things.
Or, if Theo has his way, all of the things.
"No, no," Ron says, shaking his head. "No need. Like I said- executive decision. We're not asking permission."
"Why am I a Slytherin?" Hermione asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Have you met you," Theo asks.
Hermione looks down, hiding a smile.
"So none of us are going alone," Ron says, brushing over Theo's comment (even though Theo is right). "And because you're our friend and we love you and want you around. Come on! How often is it that just us three hang out?"
There's a moment of silence.
"Never," Ron elaborates.
"Huh," Hermione says thoughtfully.
"I'm not opposed," Theo says at last. "At the very least, we can get more research done this way."
"I suppose it's just like what we did over Christmas," Hermione agrees.
Ron scowls- the two are still remaining frustratingly tight-lipped about what exactly happened over Christmas, and Ron doesn't like it one bit.
Then his scowl clears up as he realizes that they'd just agreed. Ron smiles- this is going to be the best Easter break ever.
And then all of three hours of research later and Ron is nearly asleep sitting up.
"Ron," Hermione says.
Ron blinks, then looks over at her.
"Dinner time," Hermione says. Just over her shoulder, Madam Pince is scowling as she taps her fingers on her arm impatiently.
Ron blinks again, then nods and goes to follow his two friends out of the library.
"Finally," Ron says. "Honestly, what are you even researching?"
Theo and Hermione look at him with the same expression- that of disbelief.
"I meant what about the Chamber situation specifically," Ron clarifies.
"Oh, the monster," Hermione says.
"Any leads?"
"No," Theo says, sounding a bit frustrated (which for him, means he's very frustrated). "There are a surprising number of monsters that are capable of petrification, but none that fit the bill so far. They'd either be dead after a thousand years, or they don't exist."
"Don't exist?" Ron asks.
"There are a lot of actually mythological creatures," Hermione says. "Ones that are myths even to wixen."
"Oh, I knew that," Ron says. "Like leviathans. Or whatever Luna has going on."
"Right," Hermione says. "Exactly. Except I don't know what a Luna is."
"Family friend," Ron says. In his experience, that's the easiest way to explain Luna.
After dinner, Ron and Theo walk Hermione up to the tower and wait as she gathers her things.
"Think we should have gone in with her?" Ron asks.
"I think she'll be fine," Theo says. "Besides, you couldn't get up the staircase even if you wanted to."
"Like you could," Ron counters.
"Yes," Theo says. "I can. Because gender is a construct made of bullshit, and I've elected to dismiss it as a concept."
"That's fair," Ron says, then pauses. "Wait, why is Gryffindor even set up like that?"
If Theo doesn't know, Ron figures that Hermione will.
Fortunately, Theo does know. Somehow.
"A couple hundred years ago there was an assault situation, so the Gryffindors took matters into their own hands- now only members of the same gender can get up the stairs to their respective dorms," Theo says. "With exceptions, obviously. It's not a cure-all, but it did address the immediate issue of not feeling safe in their own dorms and the enchantment stuck."
"Huh," Ron says. "Neat."
And he does think it's neat- but he's also glad that Slytherin isn't set up in the same way. Otherwise Daphne wouldn't be able to come over to their dorm, and this whole thing with Hermione would last only until any other Slytherin came into the common room and saw her.
"It's really an interesting bit of spellwork," Hermione says as she climbs out from behind Gwen.
"Oh, did you end up figuring it out?" Theo asks.
"A part of it," Hermione says. "Want to hear-"
"Yes," Theo says.
That discussion takes as long as it takes them to get all the way down to the dungeon and then into Ron and Theo's dorm. Honestly- Ron doesn't know how he managed to befriend so many nerds. It's a shame he likes them so much.
Ron had been a little bit worried about sneaking Hermione in, but she obviously has practice at this. Theo and her work in tandem to make sure the way is clear, and then hurry past- somehow without looking even the slightest bit suspicious.
Ron has to hold his breath as they round a corner and walk right past an older year Slytherin- but the student doesn't even blink.
"What was that about?" Ron asks as they finally make it into the dorm room.
"They're too exhausted with NEWTS to notice, let alone care," Hermione explains. "Besides, it's nothing they haven't seen before."
"Don't you think you're the first Gryffindor to be in here for a thousand years?" Ron asks.
Hermione shakes her head. "No way- there's a ton more intermingling than people think. At the very least I know for a fact that the Hufflepuffs are always having other people over, and in turn get invited into the other common rooms."
"Huh," Ron says. "I haven't noticed anyone."
"That's because if the choice is between having to face Sprout or Snape, or Flitwick or Snape, or anyone and Snape, the answer is obvious," Theo says.
"Ah," Ron says.
"Think we'll get caught this time?" Hermione asks, a bit nervously.
They've started getting ready for bed at this point- Hermione has at some point changed into pajamas, somehow.
"We might," Theo says, shrugging. "But so what?"
Hermione gets a conflicted look on her face, but then sighs and shrugs as well. "I guess I could light him on fire again," she says. "Worst-case scenario, I mean."
"Or drug him," Theo agrees.
"Now that is an idea," Hermione says, smiling widely.
"It was your idea in the first place," Theo says, a smile of his own tugging at the corners of his mouth.
Hermione gets a smug look on her face, and Theo gives in- letting an actual smile spread across his face.
"Okay will someone please tell me what happened over Christmas?" Ron cuts in, feeling a bit desperate.
He loves how close Hermione and Theo seem to be now, but he wants to know why, dammit!
Hermione and Theo share a look, and then burst into laughter. Ron rolls his eyes- but then gives in, laughing alongside them.
"Alright," Hermione says, sobering up. "We'll tell you. But it's not as exciting as we've made it seem."
Ron, after hearing the story, disagrees entirely.
"Next time I want to be there too," Ron says, for the sixth time that night.
"Ron, please," Hermione says from where she's laying next to him with an arm over her face. They'd ended up pushing Theo's bed over to Ron's, forming one big bed for them to all sleep in.
"It's so late. I just want to go to sleep," Hermione continues.
"Just ignore him and he'll stop," Theo mumbles from where he's curled up into Ron's other side. "Eventually. Promise."
Ron opens his mouth to say something, but Hermione must have heard the intake of breath because suddenly he has a face full of pillow. Ron tries to push against it, to no avail.
He wonders idly if Hermione knows the exact length of time it would take to put him to sleep without otherwise harming him. Probably- but Ron isn't worried. He trusts Hermione. Besides, even if she were to try-
"Please don't strangle Ron," Theo says, just as sleepily as before. "We like him."
Ron smiles into the pillow. Yep. Just as Ron had thought.
There's the sound of a sigh, and then the pillow is removed from Ron's face.
"That's true," Hermione admits, then points a threatening finger at Ron before he can respond. "I mean it though- no more. I need to sleep."
Ron mimes zipping his mouth shut, smiling as he does.
Hermione narrows her eyes, then rolls over with a huff.
The room falls into a soft quiet- and Ron finally falls asleep to the sound of his friends breathing evenly beside him, feeling warm at the idea of them both being so close and safe next to him.
This year has been scary, and horrible, but- well, not only is Ginny back to her normal self, but it's hard to feel worried when you're with two of the people you care most about in the world.
Besides, as long as they keep this up and don't get careless, there's pretty much no chance Hermione gets hurt.
That's what Ron's going to be telling himself, anyways.