-Chapter 1-
On Like Donkey Kong
Mario and Luigi tumbled through the pipe, the insides taking on a bizarre, glowing purple color. Eventually, a light appeared below them and they were shot out into the sewers once more, tumbling over each other and landing in a heap. Both of them groaned as they sat up, trying to regain their bearings.
"Mama Mia…" Luigi groaned. "What happened?"
"I don't know…" Mario replied.
As their visions cleared, they took a look around. As they did, their jaws dropped at the sight before them. They were still in the sewers, but the pipes were in numerous colors, stretching out all over the place. Nothing looked even remotely familiar, much to their concern.
"Mario…" Luigi began, "I don't think we're in Brooklyn anymore."
"You know... you may be right…" Mario muttered.
"We need to get out of here. Now."
-X-
After what felt like hours of wandering, and several ladders leading up, the brothers made their way to a manhole cover. Pushing it aside, Mario got out of the sewer, pulling Luigi up after him. After replacing the cover, the two looked around, taking in the sight of a large and ever-expanding metropolis, full of skyscrapers, modern conveniences, and many construction sites. Numerous taxicabs roamed the streets, along with various men and women dressed in fedoras and business suits. While it bore more than a passing resemblance to New York, it was clear something was off.
"Where the hell are we?" Mario demanded, looking around. "This is crazy! I know we're under the river, but... this can't be Manhattan! What is this place?!"
Luigi shrugged. "I dunno. I haven't been to Manhattan in a couple weeks."
"Must've been a bad couple of weeks," Mario deadpanned.
"Maybe we can ask around." Luigi ran up to one of the passing commuters, waving him down. "Excuse me!"
The man stopped, turning to the brothers curiously. He waited for them to approach, then Luigi began to speak once more.
"Sir, I'm sorry to bother you, but my brother and I... well, we were sucked up by a green pipe and don't know where we are. Could you tell us, please?"
"Green pipe, eh?" The man shook his head with a sigh. "Oh, yeah, those Warp Pipes can be a pain. Never can tell where they'll spit you out."
The brothers exchanged confused looks that the man either ignored or didn't see.
"Anyway, you're in New Donk City, the Big Banana. Capital of the Metro Kingdom."
"Big... banana?" Luigi repeated in confusion.
"New Donk City?" Mario added. "This isn't New York City? Are we even on Earth?"
"Earth?" Now it was the man's turn to look confused. "This is the Mushroom World. You hit your heads or something?"
"That just might be the case…" Mario muttered.
Luigi thanked the man with a forced smile, then pulled his brother aside. They ducked into an alley as the younger twin began hissing in a panic. "What's going on here? How do we get home? Where even is home?"
"Calm down, bro," Mario insisted, patting Luigi on both arms. "Best I can figure, we ended up falling through one of those Warp Zones like in Jump Man, and it, quite literally, warped us to another world."
"How are you so calm about this, Mario?!" Luigi was visibly panicking now. "We are literally on another planet, and we have no idea how to get home!"
"And losing our cool and panicking isn't gonna help us find a solution," Mario pointed out.
"I think I'm entitled to a little panicking, Mario!"
That got him a slap in the face from Mario. He recoiled, blinking as Mario pointed a finger right in his face.
"Get ahold of yourself, bro."
Luigi rubbed his cheek, letting out a breath as he calmed slightly. "Thanks. I needed that."
"Anytime, bro. Now, we should try and learn where we are. And if there is a way to get back to Brooklyn."
Two weeks later…
A local hotel in the area had been looking for plumbers to hire, offering room and board along with pay. The brothers had taken the post without hesitation, knowing that they would need some form of income so they could survive until finding a way home. And they had been very busy on that front, spending every moment they weren't on the clock reading up on the Mushroom World and the Warp Pipes. By this point, they'd amassed quite a collection of reading materials from the local library and had an entire wall of their hotel room covered in maps, papers, sticky notes, and miles of red string.
Mario was sitting at the desk in their room, continuing his studies as the hotel door opened, allowing an exhausted and stressed Luigi to come in. Mario marked his place and closed the book, turning around to watch his brother flop face-first onto the bed.
"I take it you didn't find the pipe again?" Mario asked.
"Those sewers are a freaking maze..." Luigi groaned into his pillow. "Even if I did find it, I feel like it would probably lead somewhere new by now."
"Either that or it closed in on itself." Mario grabbed the book he'd been reading, opening it up. "Apparently, these things like to appear and disappear at random, and it's highly unlikely for a pipe to reappear in the same place twice."
"So what now?" Luigi questioned, rolling onto his back. "Finding a Warp Pipe could take forever, and even if we did find one, we have no idea where it would take us."
Mario closed the book, chewing on his lip before deciding to bite the bullet. "I hate to say it, bro... but I don't think we're going home anytime soon... if at all."
Luigi let out a loud groan, bringing his hands to his face as he cried. "How is this fair? What did we do to deserve this?!"
"I wish I knew, bro..." Mario sighed, rubbing his fingers through his hair. "If only one of those monsters from the sewers was still around. I bet one of them could help fill in the blanks."
At the mention of the monsters, Luigi stopped crying. He sat up, lowering his hands before glaring at his brother.
"The monsters…" He slammed his fists on his bed, startling Mario. "You did this, Mario! This is all your fault!"
"Me?" Mario objected, putting a hand to his chest as Luigi got to his feet, marching over to him. "What the flip did I do?!"
"You messed with the monsters! You got us sucked into that pipe!" Luigi got in Mario's face. "You just had to look into those things, try to find out where they came from! If you had just listened to me and walked away, we wouldn't be trapped here!"
"It's not like I wanted us to get stuck here!" Mario objected.
"No, you just wanted some stupid adventure! Well, now you got it!"
"I'm sorry, okay?!" Mario shouted.
"Oh, you're sorry?" Luigi threw his arms in the air, turning around. "Well, that makes it all better!"
That made Mario snap. He got to his feet, stalking to the door as he shouted. "I'm sorry that I wanted more out of life than fixing sinks! I'm sorry that I'm not like you!"
With that, he turned and stormed out, slamming the door behind him. Luigi stood there for a few moments before collapsing in his chair and sighing.
"Mama Mia…"
Mario took to the streets, fuming and muttering to himself.
"'All my fault…'" he spat. "Yeah, I may have screwed up, but I didn't make him follow me. He didn't have to come along."
He kicked a garbage can to the side as he went, but his stewing was interrupted by a loud cry from the rooftops.
"HELP! HELP!"
Mario stiffened, looking up to see a gorilla with graying brown fur, a long beard, and a green sweater vest and brown slacks hopping across the rooftops, carrying a cane in one hand and a woman with long brown hair dressed in a red-colored pantsuit as well as a purple hat with black pumps in the other. He squinted.
"Is that… Mayor Pauline?"
On instinct, he took off after them, his eyes staying on Pauline and the gorilla every step of the way.
"Let me go!" Pauline snapped. "Help! Someone!"
The chase soon led them to a construction site consisting of numerous ladders and red girders, a crowd gathered as the gorilla climbed to the top with Pauline in hand. On the top, he was confronted by the construction site's foreman. The man had a large sledgehammer that he swung at the gorilla, only for it to catch the tool and dangle it, wielder and all, off the edge of the girder.
"Take your stinking paws off me, you damn, dirty ape!" the foreman spat.
The gorilla seemed to take offense to that and released the hammer, sending the foreman plummeting with a scream.
"Mama Mia!" Mario screamed.
As the foreman fell, he tore through several tarps laid out on the outside of the building before finally crashing down into a mound of dirt, relatively unharmed. Mario looked between him and the building before snatching up the dropped hammer.
"I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I better do something fast!"
He began the ascent up the girders. The gorilla looked down and saw Mario climbing up toward him. Furious, he grabbed a nearby barrel and chucked it down towards him. With a yelp, Mario quickly reached a steady level and dove out of the way of the barrel.
"Watch where you're throwing that!"
The gorilla did the exact opposite and began chucking numerous barrels down at Mario. He hopped over some while swinging the hammer to smash others.
"I'm coming for you, you big ape!" he declared. "So make this easy and let the Mayor go!"
It was tough slaying, but Mario eventually made it up to the top of the structure, confronting the gorilla.
"Last chance, monkey boy. Just set the Mayor free and walk away."
The gorilla rose to his full height, looking Mario right in the eye and letting out one word: "No."
A dead silence followed, Mario and Pauline blinking and looking him up and down.
"Did you just...?"
"Talk?" the gorilla asked. "Yes, I did. What, is there a problem with that?"
"Uh, no. I just wasn't expecting…" Mario shook his head. "Doesn't matter. Why'd you kidnap the Mayor?"
"Why? I'll tell you why! My grandson and I were just normal Kongs, minding our own business, when these blasted New Donkers came to our island! They darted us and shipped us here to be gawked at in their Grambi-forsaken zoo!"
"Whoa…" Mario let out.
"We Kongs can think and feel just like you humans! But did they see it our way? No! So I broke out and took the Mayor! What better way to bargain for our release?"
"And it didn't occur to you to just speak up?"
"Of course I did! But they refused to listen!"
Mario took that in before slowly lowering the hammer.
"Alright then," he said before tossing the hammer aside. "Look, we don't have to fight. We can talk this out like rational people. I know you've been wronged by the people here, but this isn't the solution."
The gorilla just looked on, hesitant to trust Mario. "And I'm just supposed to believe that you're magically on my side now? I'm a gorilla, not a baboon."
"You said it yourself. You can think and feel. So we can end this peacefully, can't we?"
"And how do I know this isn't a trap?"
In response, Mario kicked the hammer over the edge, sending it falling all the way down to the bottom of the structure.
"Believe me now?"
The ape stood there in disbelief. "Y-You... what?"
"You're not the only one who's lost their home," Mario explained. "My brother and I, we're not from here either. We weren't captured or anything, but we're trapped here and we can't get back. So... I know what it's like."
"You... you do, don't you?"
Mario nodded, extending his hand. The ape was about to take it when…
"Hey Pops, everything okay out here? I-"
A younger ape appeared, this one covered in brown fur and wearing a red necktie with the initials DK on it, a red muscle shirt, and yellow shorts. The minute he saw Mario, his eyes narrowed. "You!"
Mario blinked. "Eh?"
"Get away from my grandpa, you darn, dirty human!"
Before Mario could react, he was punched in the face and sent tumbling back as the ape charged at him, jumping into the air and clenching his fists.
"BANANAAAAAAA… SLAMMAAAAAAAAA!"
Mario narrowly rolled out of the way, the ape's fist cratering the ground where he was mere seconds before. The younger ape gave no reprieve, charging at Mario while winding up a punch.
"No no, wait! This is all a misunderstanding- ACK!" Mario narrowly ducked the attack.
"Shut up!" the ape snapped. "I already fell for your stinkin' human tricks once, and I ain't fallin' for it again!"
Back in their hotel room, Luigi was sitting in the recliner, about to watch TV when he perked, sensing something was off.
"Mario… He's in trouble!" He stood up, shaking his head. "I can't turn my back on him for two seconds…"
Nonetheless, he hurried out of the room.
Across town, Mario was being lifted by the collar by the younger ape.
"Please, I don't wanna hurt you!" he shouted. "I want to help you!"
"You wanna help?" the ape spat. "Hold still…"
He was about to crush Mario when the older ape suddenly walked over, bonking him on the head.
"Ow!" the younger ape yelped. "Pops?!"
"That's enough of that, sonny," the older ape said. "Put him down."
"What!?" the grandson objected. "Pops, are you crazy! He's..."
That just got him bonked again.
"I SAID DROP HIM, YOU DARN FOOL! NOW!"
The grandson obeyed, unceremoniously dropping Mario. He landed with a grunt before pulling himself up, seeing the two Kongs arguing.
"Pops, I was trying to help here!" the grandson objected. "I thought he was attacking!"
"Use your darn head!" the elder snapped. "That's part of why we got in this mess in the first place!" He turned to Mario, sighing. "You'll have to forgive my grandson. He's got a good heart… but the boy's head is thicker than a coconut and just as hollow."
"Hey!" the younger Kong objected.
"You know what you did!" the elder shot back, which made the younger Kong grumble and turn away in embarrassment.
"Stupid banana man…"
"Right…" Mario cleared his throat. "Look, let's just start over." He stood up, dusting himself off. "My name's Mario. Mario Mario. And don't laugh."
"Wasn't gonna," the older ape replied, though he had to fight back laughter briefly. "Donkey Kong, though most folks call me Cranky, and this knucklehead's my grandson, Donkey Kong III, or DK."
"You sure he's not called Cranky?" Mario deadpanned.
"Eh... it's been... one helluva month," Cranky admitted. "Anyway, you said you wanted to help us get back home?"
"Oh! Right." Mario nodded before looking around. "Well, first off, where's the Mayor?"
Cranky pointed to a higher point of the structure, showing Mayor Pauline standing there. She'd lost her hat in the climb up but was none the worse for wear.
"Mayor Pauline!" Mario called up. "Are you okay?"
"I'm alright!" Pauline assured. "Thanks in no small part to you."
"That's good! Listen, this is all a huge misunderstanding!"
"I know, I heard everything," Pauline assured. "Mr. Kong, you have my sincerest apologies for everything that's happened to you and your grandson and I swear to do everything in my power to see you returned home safely."
The Kongs smiled at that.
"That being said...can you please get me down from here?!"
"DK…" Cranky began.
"I'm on it." DK began climbing up to get her.
"I gotta say, I did not expect things to go this well…" Cranky admitted.
"Really?" Mario asked.
"Course! I half expected the cops to show up with Fire Flowers and Starmen! Why do they even have those things, anyway!? I swear, you kids these days are crazy! It's always SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT! SMASH SMASH SMASH! STOMP STOMP STOMP with you people! Nobody just sits down and talks to people anymore! And when they do, they start spacin' out after five seconds! Pah!"
A moment of silence passed, Mario not sure what to say.
"Yeah, he does that a lot," DK said simply. "You get used to it."
At that moment, they heard heavy breathing, turning to see Luigi run up the stairs. He looked completely beat.
"Luigi?" Mario asked.
"Oh! Finally, I made it! The stupid elevator wasn't working! Mario, I'm here! I…" he looked around to see that everything had been resolved. That made him droop in disappointment. "I missed it."
Mario ran over, hugging his brother. "You came… I can't believe it."
"Hey, I may not always agree with you, but you're still my brother. I'll always have your back."
"D'aawww…" Cranky let out.
"Sweet," said DK. "Can we go now?"
That just got him a bonk on the head.
Sometime later, the two Kongs were standing before a boat at the harbor, Mario and Luigi seeing them off.
"Well, thanks for your help, Mario," Cranky said.
"Anytime," Mario nodded. "Here's hoping if we meet again, it's under more... normal circumstances."
"And uh…" DK began, "Sorry about... everything."
Mario waved a hand, dismissing it. "Hey, we all do dumb things when we're upset. Isn't that right, Luigi?"
"Hey!" Luigi objected.
Cranky chuckled. "Well, if you're ever in Donkey Kong Island, be sure to stop by. Just...give us a heads up...and no banana suits."
"Ugh…" DK sighed. "You're never gonna let me live that down, are you."
"Nope," Cranky said bluntly.
Luigi blinked, confused. "Banana suit?"
"Don't ask," DK insisted.
"Trust me, I'm just as confused as you," said Mario.
Before the conversation could continue, the boat horn let out a loud honk.
"Aaaand that's our cue to leave!" Cranky declared.
"Catch you on the flip side!" DK shouted.
The two Kongs hurried onto the boat just as it began to leave the harbor, waving as it floated off. Mario and Luigi followed suit.
"Well... I think our work here is done," Mario decided.
They headed back to the hotel, seeing several people looking at them with admiration; word of the plumbers that saved the Mayor had apparently spread fast.
"Well…" Mario began, "This is...interesting."
"Looks like you made a big impression on the locals," Luigi mused.
"Guess so." Mario rubbed the back of his head with a sigh. "Listen, bro... I'm sorry about... everything."
"Yeah, me too," Luigi replied. "And honestly, I've been thinking… maybe this world isn't really all that bad. I still miss Brooklyn, and I still wanna go home one day. But I think... I could get to like this crazy, new world."
Mario turned to him. "You mean it?"
"Yeah," Luigi assured. "Maybe we'll find a way back to Brooklyn, maybe not. But in the meantime, we might as well make the best of things."
"Yeah," Mario grinned. "And hey, look on the bright side. At least we don't have to worry about old man Scapelli anymore!"
They shared a laugh at that.
Two months later…
Situated between the Crazy Cap shop and Candy's Cafe, the New Donk City branch of Super Mario Bro. Plumbing was now open for business. Both brothers were eagerly going through their tools, making sure everything was in order for another busy day. As they snapped their bags shut, the two talked amongst themselves.
"Did you see the new hats they got at Crazy Cap?" Mario asked, grinning from ear to ear. "They got a suit of samurai armor! SAMURAI! ARMOR!"
"You don't need samurai armor," Luigi pointed out.
"I don't care! It's IN A STORE! It's actually. In. A store!"
"Mario…"
"I know, I know... I'm just... really excited is all. Brooklyn was cool and all, but this place... it's crazy! There's always something cool or out there happening! And it just...gets me pumped!"
"Speaking of pumped, I just got a call from Mayor Pauline. Something's blocking the water in the area by the RC Course. She thinks it might be a Fighter Fly nest."
"Well then…" Mario scooped up his tool kit. "Let's go to work."
The Bros. headed out at that.
At the RC Course, Pauline was on the phone with someone.
"I see... Well, I'll be sure to keep that in mind as soon as I get the chance." She waited for a bit, then smiled. "Yes, you too. Give your grandpa my regards."
She hung up with a sigh. "Never a dull moment in New Donk City. Now then, where are those two?"
"Looking for us?" came Mario's voice.
Pauline turned to see them approach, smiling. "There you are!"
The Mario Bros. posed at that, flashing V-signs.
"Super Mario Bros. Plumbing!" they declared. "You clog 'em, we clear 'em!"
Mushroom Kingdom
Meanwhile, across the seas in the Mushroom Kingdom, the princess was enjoying her tea time as a Toad butler brought her the paper.
"Your tea, Princess."
"Thank you very much, Porto," the princess said politely.
The newly identified Porto bowed. "Do you need anything else?"
"No, that will be all."
As he departed, the princess looked over the paper.
"Let's see now... Prof. Kolorado discovers new ruins in Crumbleden. Interesting. Hmmm... Hm?"
She noticed an ad for Mario Bros. Plumbing, narrowing her eyes.
"No… it couldn't be." She looked up. "Toadsworth!"
"Yes, Princess?" an older voice called from another room.
"Come take a look at this!"
An elderly Toad entered at that, the Princess showing him the paper. He squinted before perking.
"By the Seven Stars above! Is that... It-It couldn't possibly be…"
"There's only one way to find out. Toadsworth, I need you to make some calls."
"Yes, of course. Right away."
As he headed out, Peach looked over the ad again. "Mario…"
Author's Note:
There we have it. Sorry for the wait; I kept getting distracted by my Sonic fic.
Next chapter, the adventure officially begins for Mario and Luigi.
Voice cast for this chapter:
* Donkey Kong - Chris Murphy (Murray in Sly Cooper, Hyakkimaru in Blood Will Tell: Tezuka Osamu's Dororo)
* Cranky Kong - Charles C. Campbell (Gran Torino from My Hero Academia, Mana Walker in D. Gray-man, Soichi Isozaki in Darker than Black, Old Man Owl in Sonic the Hedgehog: The Movie, Fujitora in One Piece)
Please R&R. Until next time!