-Chapter 17-

Not All Villains Are Evil

Sands of Slumber

Birdo made her way through the desert alongside a squad of Shy Guys, all of them riding sizable ostriches with black or pink feathers.

"Miss Ostro...the Birdos are getting tired," one Shy Guy panted. "Can we break and take a stop, please?"

"No!" Birdo snapped. "We have to catch that plumber!"

"But ma'am…"

"By now that fuzzy-faced freak has probably met up with the Dream Keepers! We have to stop them here and now! If we don't, Warty's going to be furious! And if that happens..." Birdo shook her head. "No! Don't think about it. Thinking about it will make it go away. Think about something else. Think about shopping. Think about cute outfits and sparkly, new jewelry." She glared. "And think about waxing that fatso's face right off his skull!"

Meanwhile, at Imajin's house, the group was in the midst of boarding the rocket.

"Mario, are you sure this rocket will work?" Peach asked. "It doesn't look very aerodynamic."

"Of course, it'll work," Mario replied. "You saw it launch in MP's dream, right?"

"Even so, it looks very heavy and lopsided. Not to mention it looks too small for all of us to fit inside."

At that moment, they heard Luigi and Toad yelp. They turned to see the two being squashed inside.

"Uh-oh…" Mario let out. "It's only designed for two."

"Only because you believe it is," Hassan clarified.

"So we just need to imagine extra seats?" Luigi asked.

Hassan nodded. "Remember, Subcon responds to your thoughts and desires. If you believe it won't work, that's what will happen."

"Right, my bad," Peach closed her eyes, concentrating. A moment or two passed before the rocket expanded, more seats appearing to accommodate the eight of them.

"Perfecto!" Mario exclaimed.

"And we're all set!" Imajin declared.

Amani turned to the twins. "Piki, Poki, we're going to need you to wake up now. It's not safe for you to come with us to Wart's castle."

"Awww, but Mama-!" Poki objected.

"We wanna help!" Piki insisted. "It's our fault Wart's free again!"

"If you want to help, look after our bodies in the Waking World," Lina said. "If something happens to us, you need to go get help. Otherwise, there won't be anyone to stop him. Will you do that?"

Poki sighed before nodding. "Okay, Lina."

Lina smiled. "Thank you. You two are both very brave and will make amazing Keepers one day."

"And hey, once Wart's dealt with, you can read the book again," Imajin said. "Just... try to share in the future, eh?"

The twins smiled awkwardly.

"Okay, enough with the jib-jab!" Toad exclaimed. "We got a dream world to save!"

"See you guys on the other side!" Poki and Piki declared. After sharing a hug with their mother, the twins both pinched the other's arm, yelping before vanishing.

"Mario, can you fly this?" Lina questioned.

"Yeah," Mario nodded. "Just strap yourselves in."

Everyone began doing so. Luigi was the last one in. He turned, perking at the sight of dust kicking up and approaching.

"Guys?" he called. "Something's coming!"

Mario squinted, seeing Birdo and the Shy Guys running up. "It's Birdo! Get ready for takeoff!"

Everyone quickly straps themselves in as Mario begins hitting all the buttons.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Luigi asked.

"Of course," Mario replied. "This is a dream, right? Meaning every button is the right one!" He grabbed the throttle, throwing it back. "Blast off!"

The rocket shot into the sky, hard enough that all of them were thrown back into their seats. As they started to relax, they heard thumping noises, the rocket shaking. Blinking, Mario pressed a button, a monitor revealing Birdo now riding on a magic carpet, launching eggs at them. Behind her were several purple crows on magic carpets, and Shy Guys with insectoid wings wielding bidents.

"What the-?!" Toad exclaimed.

"The flying Shy Guys are Beezos," Imajin exclaimed. "The birds are Pidgits. Created by Wart to be bringers of bad dreams."

"Please tell me this thing has weapons!" Luigi pleaded.

"Look for something for meteors!" Mario ordered.

Luigi frantically looked around the monitor before finding a button labeled Nova Blaster. He slammed his hand on the button, and a large cannon manifested on the front of the rocket. A hatch opened up, spitting out a game controller into Luigi's hand. He looked it over, seeing the controls looked exactly like what you would find on a classic shooter game.

"Seriously?!"

"What did you expect?" Mario shot back. "All my so-called experience with rocket ships comes from sitting on my butt playing video games all day! Now just fire the dannato (1) thing!"

Luigi yelped and quickly began firing. Luckily, he was just as adept at video games as his brother, shooting several Pidgits down. Birdo scowled.

"You won't get to Warty!"

"Watch us!" Mario retorted.

Birdo opened her snout wide, her mouth glowing red-orange. Imajin gasped.

"She's a fire Birdo!" he shouted.

"Mario, tell me you and MP gave this thing a shield!" Luigi cried.

"What, are you kidding?! Just who do you think we are?" Mario cleared his throat. "Shields to maximum power!"

On cue, a shimmering aura surrounded the rocket. Birdo launched several fireballs, which just bounced off the aura.

"Wahoo!" Mario cheered.

"We're doing it!" Luigi exclaimed.

"And look!" Lina pointed ahead. Everyone looked to see what was undoubtedly Wart's castle atop a dark cloud. It bore more than a passing resemblance to Bowser's Castle, with a distinctly Arabian flare, green colors, onion-shaped domes, and carvings of Wart's face in place of the Koopa King's.

"Bring us in for a nice, smooth landing, Mario!" Peach declared.

Mario perked, chuckling awkwardly. "Oops. You, uh... might have to settle for nice and bumpy."

Everyone slowly turned to him.

"I thought you knew how to fly this contraption!" Hassan yelled.

Mario rubbed the back of his neck. "Fly, yes. Land, not so much."

"WHAT?!" everyone shrieked.

"Oh no…" Luigi let out.

Everyone screamed as Mario began a nose dive toward the palace.

"EVERYBODY BRACE FOR IMPACT!" Mario yelled just before the rocket smashed clean through the roof of the palace, skidding to a stop. A dead silence passed before Mario pried his face out of the rocket's control panel, adjusting his cap.

"Okay…" he began, "everybody who's not dead, sound off."

A chorus of groans answered him.

"I got a cloud up my butt," Toad muttered.

"It'll go nice next to this fireball!"

They ducked as another fireball came flying. The group all filed out, Imajin summoning his scimitar as Birdo hopped off of her carpet.

"Birdo, listen to me," Amani said. "Whatever Wart promised you, he won't give you. Trusting that evil toad is a mistake you don't want to make."

"Save it, lady!" Birdo snapped, readying another projectile. Imajin just rolled his eyes.

"Why do they always wanna do it the hard way?"

Birdo spat a larger egg out at them. Imajin stood at the ready, his scimitar glowing before he swung, cleaving the egg in two as it flew by him. The egg exploded behind him, sending him flying right toward Birdo.

"Ta-ta, Alibaba!" She declared before backhanding him with her ring hand. He fell back, a large gash on his cheek. Imajin let out a pained yell before taking slow, deep breaths, his wound closing.

"Imajin!" Lina glared at Birdo, drawing her daggers. "You so shouldn't have done that."

"I don't have time for this!" Birdo yelled. "8-Bits! Attack!"

On cue, an army of Shy Guys, Beezos, and other monsters flew in.

"It's an army!" Luigi yelled.

As the army surrounded them, Mario perked. "I've got an idea! Luigi, remember the Starman from Bowser's Dimble Mountain castle?"

"But we don't have one-" Luigi perked, realizing his brother's intent. "Ohhh…"

"Are you crazy?!" Lina shrieked. "Summoning a STAR ARTIFACT?! The energy that would require…"

"You could kill yourselves!" Hassan added.

"Look around you!" Mario gestured to the surrounding 8-Bits. "What choice do we have?!" He took a breath. "Alright, I just need to focus." He closed his eyes, thinking. "Come on… Remember how it felt. That's how it works in the movies."

He was visibly straining, wincing before Luigi grabbed his hand, focusing and thinking as well. Slowly but surely, a star shape began to take form.

"Stop them!" Birdo shrieked.

Imajin and Lina moved to intercept the goons.

"Don't even think about it, you masked mopes!" Imajin declared.

Mario and Luigi continued focusing, Luigi wincing in pain.

"Come on, Lu! Just a little more!"

The Starman had almost fully taken shape.

"Hassan…" Amani let out.

"By the Pi'illo…" Hassan gasped.

Finally, the Starman popped into existence, sparking. Mario lunged forward, grabbing it and holding it out to Luigi. The two grabbed it, each holding an end before reciting the mantra Toad had given Mario back in Dimble Wood:

"Starman, star bright, give us power, give us might!"

The Starman flashed, enveloping the bros in rainbow light. When it faded, the Mario Bros. stood tall, surrounded by a multicolored aura.

"GET THEM!" Birdo shrieked.

The 8-Bits renewed their charge.

"You ready, Bro?" Mario asked.

Luigi nodded. "Let's-a go!"

Mario and Luigi rushed forward at superspeed, plowing through the various enemies in her path. The various 8-Bits were knocked aside like bowling pins before they reached Birdo, Mario and Luigi knocking her back and forth like a ping-pong ball.

"You can't do this to me!" Birdo screamed. "Who do you think you are?!"

Mario grinned. "The Super Mario Bros., that's who!"

He dropped to one knee before shooting up with a leaping uppercut that slammed into Birdo's jaw, sending her into the air and into multiple backflips before she faceplanted onto the ground. She groaned as Luigi ran over to Mario.

"Yeah, we got it!" he cheered. "High five!"

The Bros. high-fived right as the Starman's effect wore off. The Dream Keepers were left in stupefied silence.

"Woo! Yeah!" Toad cheered. "Go, Mario and Luigi! You rock!"

"I don't believe it..." Hassan managed. "They actually manifested a Starman. Not even the mighty Zeekeeper can manage that."

"Just... who or what are these guys?" Lina asked.

Birdo rose to her feet, scowling.

"I'm not finished yet! I'm gonna-" She blinked, seeing them all looking at her with confused looks. "What?"

She looked down at herself, finding her outfit had been replaced by a simple gray shirt and blue jeans, her rings gone. She gasped, feeling her head and finding her ribbon was also gone.

"No!" She let out. "Nononononononononononono NO!"

"What happened?" Mario let out.

"She looks... different," Luigi remarked.

"No, this can't be happening! This isn't happening! Warty! Warty, where are you!? They changed me back! THEY CHANGED ME BACK!"

"They didn't," Everyone perked, seeing Wart overlooking them from a balcony. "I did."

"Wart…" Hassan hissed.

"Ah, Keeper Hassan," Wart greeted. "Good to see you again. How are the kids?"

"Warty!" Birdo pleaded. "Change me back! Please! We had a deal!"

"Which you failed to uphold."

"I can still fight! I can still win! I-!" Birdo faltered. "Warty, I'm begging you-!"

"SILENCE!" Wart roared, Birdo clamming up. "I don't give second chances! And my name is Wart, you disgusting drag queen!"

Birdo's eyes widened in horror as Mario and the others perked.

"Drag..." Mario gasped. "Oh…"

"She's trans…" Luigi realized.

"She's a man?!" Toad exclaimed.

"NO!" Birdo snapped. "I'm a woman! My name is Birdie and I'm a woman! And my body was finally right! I was finally able to look in the mirror without being sick or feeling like everything was wrong!" She was in tears. "Warty, please! Please don't do this!

"Sorry, Birdo. But you had your chance." Wart grinned. "Tell you what… If you're really that desperate, you can take a nice leap off this cloud here and hope you're a woman in your next life!"

He laughed evilly, Birdo falling to her knees as Mario and his friends glared at Wart in disgust and rage.

"You heartless, slimy son of a-!" Mario began.

"It's not slime, it's mucus," Wart interrupted. "If you're going to insult me, do it right. Now, if you'll excuse me…"

He left, the door slamming behind him. Mario scowled in rage, about to run after him when he was stopped by the sound of ugly sobbing. He turned, finding Birdo crying her heart out on the ground.

"No…" she let out. "No no no no no...! My last hope... it's gone! I'm ruined!"

The brothers exchanged concerned looks, then Luigi approached.

"Hey…" Luigi said gently, extending a hand. "It's... Birdie, right?"

"Don't touch me!" Birdo slapped his hand away. "I don't need your pity, green man! This was my one chance to finally be happy, and you ruined it!"

"Listen…" Luigi said. "Wart… he's a buttwipe. And you don't need him. I've seen enough of the Mushroom World to know nothing is impossible. I'm sure you can find a way to get the body you deserve, without that guy's help."

Birdo just shook her head, turning away. Mario thought for a moment before perking, snapping his fingers. He motioned Luigi over, whispering something in his ear. Luigi nodded, smiling.

"That just might work, Mario."

-X-

Sometime later, Birdo was laid back on a psychiatrist's couch Mario and Luigi had dreamed up in the room. Mario sat next to her in a chair, a pencil and notepad in hand. Imajin's family just looked on blankly.

"Do we… really have time for this?" Lina asked.

"We're making the time." Luigi insisted.

Birdo looked around confused as Mario began talking.

"So Birdie, it's clear that you suffer from severe body dysphoria," he noted. "No doubt brought on by society's refusal to acknowledge you for the bright, beautiful woman you are. Now, tell Dr. Mario what's bothering you, please."

A moment passed before Birdo sighed, resting her head on the couch. "I've lived all of my life as a miserable, miserable man. It's been horrible."

"Hm. Yes," Mario nodded. "Go on."

"It all started when I was eight. I was mercilessly teased and bullied for being different and 'dressing funny.' Then, at fourteen, I had an epiphany. It was so clear: I was a girl trapped in a boy's body."

"I see. And how did you handle this?"

"Not very well," Birdo admitted. "It took me so long to officially own who I am. I became an expert at hiding my secret. I went on dates with girls, played sports, all of that jazz... but I was dying inside, and the deeper I buried it, the more unhappy I became. And eventually... I even thought of ending my own game. But I couldn't do that to my family."

"And this is what led to your deal with Wart?"

Birdo nodded. "I ran into him during a really bad nightmare. He told me about Subcon and how you can shape it however you wanted. Then, he told me about his plan."

"His plan?"

"He was going to make dreams reality. The Keepers told you about the Dream Machine, right?"

Mario nodded. "Yes. The machine the Subconians made to have good dreams and peace. He hijacked it to create monsters and nightmares."

"Well, Warty...er, Wart, found another use for it. Breaking down the walls between the dream and waking worlds and merging them."

Amani gasped at that. "That maniac... if he tears down the walls between dimensions and merges dreams with reality…"

"He'd have complete control over existence itself." Hassan finished. "He'd be a god!"

"And am I correct in assuming you went along with this because part of the deal was that you would be a woman in his new world?" Mario questioned.

Birdo nodded. "That's about the size and shape. I don't have the kind of money needed to get an operation. And there are no power-ups that can change a person's sex. I knew it was wrong. That it was dangerous and stupid… And I knew he was a total creep." Birdo sighed. "But what choice did I have? I needed a way to fix myself. I don't care about the teasing. Those people aren't worth my time. But this feeling...the wrongness… It's unbearable. I just... is it wrong to want to be happy? To not be miserable?"

"No," Mario shook his head. "Not at all. But making other people miserable is. I'm sorry for everything that's happened to you, Birdie, but is sacrificing the entire world to someone like Wart really worth it?"

Birdo winced, looking genuinely conflicted. "I…" She took a sharp breath. "No… no, it's not."

"It's not too late. We still have time to stop Wart. You can help us set things right. Do the right thing."

Birdo looked up at Mario, the man she insulted and just tried to kill, and who had actually stopped and helped her at her lowest point, despite all that. Then she recalled Wart, the man who had demeaned her, insulted her, forced her to do her dirty work, and refused to acknowledge her true gender identity. Her eyes narrowed, before she took Mario's hand, shaking him.

"Let's go croak that toad."

Mario grinned at that.

Meanwhile, Wart was pacing around.

"Alright, so I've lost Birdo. That's no big deal. But, that still leaves those meddlesome dreamers and the Keepers." He checked up on the Dream Machine. "Blast! The Machine is only at half the required energy levels! I need more power! And more importantly, more time!"

"Master Wart…" a Shy Guy piped up.

"What is it!?"

"We have something for you."

"Just leave it on the table or something! I'm busy!"

"But sir..."

"Didn't you hear what I said!? I–!"

"Let me go!" a female voice cut in.

"Eh?" Wart perked, turning to see Tiana being held in a bottle by a pair of Shy Guys. His eyes narrowed as he approached.

"So... you must be the fairy who escaped and brought those cursed Mario Bros. to my doorstep."

Tiana growled at her. "Yes, and I'd do it again too! You big, fat, ugly-!"

Wart snatched the bottle, shaking it violently. He eventually stopped, Tiana woozily groaning in a pile of fairy dust.

"Do you know the penalty for traitors to the crown, Tiana?" he questioned.

Tiana scoffed. "Traitor to the crown?! Ha! That crown belongs to King Reginald, not a slimy wartbag like you!"

"QUIET, PIXIESTICK!" Wart roared. "And the correct answer is this… You get to be the fuel that powers the engine that will build my new world!" He cackled. "But first… you will help me get rid of your new friends."

Tiana glared at him. "Never!"

Wart grinned. "Oh, my dear…" He summoned a wrought iron stick. "Whoever said you have a choice?"

Tiana looked on in horror as Wart prepared to pop the bottle's cork…

-X-

Meanwhile, Birdo was leading Mario and the others to Wart's throne room when they heard pained screaming.

"What the…?! Mario let out.

"That sounded like Tiana!" Peach realized.

"Wart has her?!" Toad gasped. "Oh, no!"

"Then we gotta get moving!" Birdo exclaimed. "He's probably already planning to turn her into dream fuel!"

Mario scowled. "Not a chance in Hell!"

They ran in the direction of the screams, arriving in Wart's throne room. Mario barged the door open with his shoulder, everyone stopping in horror at the sight before them. Tiana was strapped to a table before the Dream Machine, burn marks covering her fair skin as Wart laughed sadistically.

"I-I'm not scared of you!" Tiana declared defiantly, tears of pain in her eyes. "It doesn't hurt at all!"

Wart pressed the iron stick to her belly, the metal sparking and smoking at the point of contact as Tiana shrieked in agony.

"So does it hurt now?" Wart inquired.

"HEY!" came Mario's enraged scream.

Wart turned to see the heroes enter.

"Let her go, Wart!" Imajin ordered.

"Mario!" Tiana cried happily.

"Welcome, heroes," Wart greeted. "You're just in time to witness me reshape reality as we know it. Just allow me to deal with this pesky pixie here." He raised the stick again, Tiana recoiling in fear.

"I said let her go, Grambi-damn it!" Imajin drew his scimitar. "Or I'll slice you in half!"

"I have a better idea." Wart slammed his fist down on a switch, powering up the Dream Machine. "How about you play with my new enforcer?!"

The Dream Machine began producing dark purple clouds which began rapidly coming together. They seemed to be taking on a vaguely organic shape. Everyone backed up, watching in horror as it came together in the form of Wart's new enforcer…

"Behold! Tremble before the might of ROBIRDO!"

A robotic version of Birdo beeped and chirped before screaming and unleashing a torrent of flames in the air.

Author's Note:

(1): "Damn" in Italian.

Yep, going with the idea Birdo is a transgender woman from the original Japanese. The bit where Mario plays psychologist to help her was from Super Mario Adventures, where he did the same to help a Boo with his anxiety.

Next chapter, the fight for Subcon begins.

Please R&R. Until next time!