-Chapter 19-

Family

"Plumber's Log #90: After Subcon, we thought things would settle down a bit, but we were wrong. When we least expected it, Bowser made his big comeback, alongside his nasty Koopa Kids… and this time, it was personal."

Ice Country

It was a quiet night in Ice Country, a small area in the Snow Kingdom, far up in the frigid north of the Mushroom World. The peaceful night, however, was quickly ruined when out of the blizzard came Bowser's massive Doom Ship, raining Bullet Bills down as it made a beeline for the castle. A general Koopa, one with a blue spiny shell and a helmet with Bowser's icon on it, raised his hand.

"Koopa Pack! BEGIN OUR ASSAULT!"

The minute the Doom Ship docked, Koopas began spilling out in swarms, all lining up with spears and standing at attention as Kamek poofed into existence before them.

"Behold!" the Magikoopa declared, bowing. "The King of the Koopas!"

The mouth of the Bowser's head figurehead on the bow opened up, Bowser himself lumbering out slowly until he was before his minions.

"Open the gates! Or die!"

A group of ominous figures approached the gates.

"So, it would seem you survived after all…" came a deep voice. "I knew it was too good to be true."

The gates opened, revealing… a group of small, cute penguins with round heads. One of them had a king's cloak and a crown. This was King Froswald III, the ruler of the Ice Country.

"Hello, Froswald," Bowser greeted. "Didja miss me?"

"Do not take me for the same timid ruler who fell to you before," Froswald swore. "You are not invincible, and I and my brave warriors will stand and face you! Men! To arms!"

The penguins all armed themselves… with snowballs, which they all began throwing at Bowser. Most of them didn't even hit him, and the ones that did barely accomplished anything other than make Bowser stand there unimpressed. Some were even firing icicles like arrows from crossbows; they shattered against the Koopa's shells easily. As this went on, a group of penguins brought in an ice catapult, launching a snowball that only hit a single Koopa Troopa before Froswald raised a flipper, signaling them to stop.

"That is but a taste of our fury!" he declared. "Do you yield?"

The penguins all assumed various karate poses, while Bowser just chuckled darkly.

"I do not. "

He reared back his head, unleashing a massive stream of fire. His army all charged forward. Bowser's flames instantly decimated Froswald's icy castle, while the penguins were easily rounded up and subdued. The Koopa King stomped over to the penguin king, looking down at him figuratively and literally.

"Yeah... you may not be afraid of me, but that doesn't mean shiitake if you can't actually do anything to stop me, Froz."

Froswell snarled, trying to pull free of the Koopas holding him. "Curse you, Bowser!"

"Ah-ah-ah…" Bowser wagged a finger condescendingly before looking over the rapidly melting castle, taking in the devastation. "Okay, country decimated... I'd say that's a good start to reinstating my villain cred, wouldn't you, Kamek?"

"Indeed, Your Vileness," Kamek confirmed.

Bowser marched inside, scouting around the slushed remains.

"Alright, let's see now..." After a moment, he sighed. "Oh good grief, don't tell me it's made of ice too..."

"If you're looking for the Starman, we already sent it to you as part of your tribute before your downfall," Froswald snapped. "There's nothing here for you, fiend!"

"I ain't here for your treasure, Frozzy. I'm here for your phone."

Froswald blinked. "My… phone?"

Yes! Your phone! It's covered in buttons! You push them and it lets you talk to people!"

"Are you kidding me...?" Froswald looked stunned. "You attacked my kingdom and destroyed my castle just to use my phone?!"

"Well yeah, mine's out of juice. That, and I needed a way to get my cred back after that damned Mario defeated and humiliated me."

Stunned and confused, one of the soldiers pulled a cell phone out of their feathers. Bowser took the phone with a rather violent snatch.

"Let that be a lesson to you and anyone else who stands up to the Koopa Troop, Frozzy. You may be able to knock me down, but Bowser doesn't stay down."

Bowser tried to dial, only to find his fingers were too big for the buttons.

"Oh for the love of...KAMEK!"

"Right away, sire." Kamek took the phone, dialing the number.

"And who, dare I ask, are you calling?" Froswald asked.

Bowser grinned. "My kids."

Dark Lands

"No! Go left! Go left!"

"No! Up, Junior! Go up!"

Seated before a TV in one of Bowser's castles, playing the original Legend of Zelda on the NES and trying to navigate the Lost Woods, were four young Koopas with more than a passing resemblance to Bowser. As they played, a large rotary phone began to ring, but they ignored it and kept playing, much to the annoyance of a female Koopa lying on the couch reading a magazine.

"Hey, morons!" she yelled. "Answer the phone!"

"Get it yourself, Wendy!" a Koopa with a pink head and red sunglasses snapped back.

"We're busy!" declared a Koopa with a blue mohawk.

"Yeah, busy!" snapped one with green hair styled like the leaves of a pineapple and dark-rimmed glasses.

"Yeah!" said a brown-skinned Koopa with a white face and a gray star-shaped birthmark on the left side of his face. "Junior's about to fall for Roy's bogus directions so he can die and Roy can take his turn!"

"Dude, shut up!" Roy growled.

The aforementioned Junior, the spitting image of a young Bowser, glared at Roy. "Roy, you jerk!"

Roy spun on the star-faced Koopa, throttling him. "Morton, you've got the BIGGEST MOUTH!"

A Koopaling with a multi-colored mohawk stood up, exasperated.

"For Grambi's sake, I'll do it!" he snatched up the receiver. "WHAT?!"

He listened before going pale. "Um, guys? You might want to hear this one."

"Tell 'em to leave a message, Lemmy!" Junior shot back.

"It's Dad."

That got everyone's attention. Junior immediately paused the game before taking the phone. Lemmy let him, still shaken about having shouted at his dad the way he did.

"Daddy!" Junior declared. "You haven't called in forever! Everyone told me you were on a long journey, and Roy said you were on a farm chasing rabbits!"

That earned Roy looks from everyone. He just shrugged.

"What was I supposed to tell him?" he hissed under his breath. "That Dad got barbecued by two nobody plumbers from New Donk City?!"

"What's that?" Junior asked. "Hold on, I'll put you on speaker. Now, which button was it again...?"

"The green one," Lemmy said.

"No!" the green-haired Koopa cried. "Not that! That's the-!"

Junior pressed the button, only to get slammed in the face with a pie.

"...Coconut cream pie button."

"Why is there a coconut cream pie button on the phone, Iggy?" the female Koopa demanded.

Iggy shrugged. "I got bored."

Wendy sighed, taking the phone and pressing a button marked with the image of a speaker. "There."

" Testing! " came Bowser's voice. " Am I coming in loud and clear? "

Everyone covered their ears.

"Yes, sir," Lemmy said. "Very loud and clear."

"Whoops!" Iggy chuckled. "Forgot I turned the volume down." He turned a knob on the side. "There."

" Okay, good, " Bowser replied. " Hey there, kids! "

"Hi, Dad!" Junior said cheerfully. "Big brother's busy right now! Sorry!"

"It's alright, Junior. Could one of you go get him? Daddy's got an important message and he needs EVERYONE to be here."

The Koopalings froze.

"Okay!" Junior declared.

"Where is he anyway?"

"He's...in the music room."

Bowser sighed. "Oh boy."

"Nose goes!" Iggy declared.

Everyone touched their nose, except for Wendy.

"Darn it!" she cursed.

Roy chuckled. "Them's the breaks, Wendy."

"Sucks to be you." That earned Lemmy a flying magazine to the head. "Ow!"

"I hate everyone in this room," Wendy grumbled.

"Even me?" Junior was getting all blubbery, complete with watery eyes and wobbling lips. Wendy sighed.

"Okay, almost everyone."

"Love you too, big sis!" Junior called after her.

"Don't push it!"

Wendy headed down the hall, hearing ominous pipe organ music. She gulped.

"Oh, no… he's really in the zone today."

She entered the music room, finding a Koopa with wild dark blue hair playing a large pipe organ, utterly engrossed in the music.

"Ludwig! Oi, Ludwig!" Wendy got no response, so she went up, tapping his shoulder. "HEY!"

Ludwig spun around with surprising speed, shocking her.

" WHAAAAAAAAAT?! " he roared. "Can't you see I'm in the middle of my latest Koopa Symphony?!" Ludwig blinked, realizing who he was talking to.

"What the...Wendy!?"

"Hey..."

"What ze heck in a hamster ball is wrong with you!? I almost turned you into Wienerschnitzel!"

"It's Dad. He's... on the phone for you."

Ludwig's eyes went wide. "He's what!?"

He immediately took off, joining the other Koopalings.

"Out of my way! Coming through! Move, dummkopfs!" He snatched up the phone. "Father? Is that really you?!"

"The one and only, kiddo."

"But how? We thought you were…" Ludwig trailed off, looking nervously at Junior. "Uhhh… We thought you were...?" He turned to the others, mouthing "What was it again?"

"Oh, to the Underwhere with it!" Roy snapped. "We thought you were dead, Dad!"

"WHAT?!" Junior shrieked.

"Roy!" Morton admonished.

"He's not, is he? So there's no point keeping up that stupid fookin' charade."

"Oh brother…" Ludwig returned his attention to the phone. "Well regardless, it's wunderbar to finally hear from you, Father. I-"

"Ludwig, lose the accent," Bowser ordered. "You sound like a dork."

Ludwig sighed before shifting to an American accent. "Where have you been? You went completely silent for months! You went completely silent for months! There are uprisings everywhere! NBC is a mess!"

"And Iggy keeps trying to poison us with his lousy cooking!" Morton added.

"Hey!" Iggy objected.

"I was almost Dry-Boned. Needed to recover. Couldn't risk Peach and her new golden boy Mario finding out I was still kicking until I was ready. But now, I'm tanned! I'm rested! And I'm ready to show this world just who's the king around here! But I can't do it alone. If I'm gonna pull this off, I need you kids' help. Whaddya say, kids? Feel like paying our neighbors a little...visit?"

"You can count on us," Ludwig assured.

"Finally, some action!" Roy declared.

"Sounds fun!" Junior declared. "Can't wait to play!"

"Not you, Junior," Bowser cut in.

Junior gaped. "Huh?"

"Sorry kiddo, you're still just a kid."

"But Larry gets to go on invasions and he's still a kid!" Junior objected.

"Teenager," Larry corrected. "I'm thirteen."

"Shut up!"

"Cheer up, Junior," Bowser assured. "It won't be long before you're ready to spread mayhem like the rest of us."

"But I wanna spread mayhem NOW!" Junior whined.

Bowser was silent, clearly thinking things over before finally speaking again. "Tell you what, how about you help Iggy make more of those giant robot things you like? We can sic'em on the Toads and watch 'em squeal like little girls!"

Junior cheered up in an instant. "Okay!"

Iggy sighed, annoyed.

"Alright, I'm currently at what used to be Froswald's castle in Ice Country. Gonna chill here for a while. In the meantime..." Wendy's phone pinged. "Ah good, the plans made it."

Wendy opened the phone, her brothers gathering around.

"Oh, yes…" Ludwig smirked.

"This is gonna be rad," Roy mused.

"Understood, Father," Ludwig said. "We won't let you down."

"I know you won't," Bowser replied. "That said, be careful. The guys who beat me may look stupid, but they're anything but."

"Indeed," said Ludwig. "If they were strong enough to beat you, they must be nothing less than mighty warriors."

Brooklyn

The Super Mario Brothers plumbing commercial was playing on YouTube on the workshop TV. It had been set to repeat, starting over whenever it finished. Whenever Mary Pat wasn't looking at the commercial, she was staring at the wall of the workshop, covered in newspaper clippings, red string, and maps of the Brooklyn Sewer System. After a moment, she picked up her cell phone, dialed Luigi's number, and got his voicemail:

" Thank you for calling Super Mario Bros. Plumbing! It's-a me, Luigi! Ah, if you need service, please-uh text us the same number you just called! 929-55-MARIO! That's 929-556-2746! Message us about any issues wherever you live! House, condo... mansion? And we'll be sure to text you back right away because, at Super Mario Brothers Plumbing, we don't say, 'Let's-a wait!'; we say, 'Let's-a go!' Oh, and uh, check out our website, smb plumbing dot com! We're still working on it, so... more updates to come. Buh-bye! "

MP sighed, lowering her phone.

"Mips?" a new voice came in. "MP?"

MP perked, looking up to see Edison, waving at her, looking more than a little concerned. "Oh! Hi, Edison."

"You doing okay?"

MP shook her head. "I got yelled at by Drill Sergeant Nasty again during class."

"Kooperman…" Edison shook his head. "Why that ass still has a job is beyond me."

"I wish I knew…" MP sighed. "He told me that I wouldn't amount to anything and that I should just run away like Mario and Luigi did."

Edison sighed. "Lemme guess, told you plumbing was man's job too, didn't he?"

"Eyup. Said I should go back to my 'Barbies and makeup'."

Edison looked her over, taking in the massive bags under her red eyes. "Kid, you might wanna dial it back a bit. You're killin' yourself here."

"I can't, Ed. I have to keep the workshop afloat, not to mention keep up with classes, and keep up the investigation."

Edison placed a hand on her shoulder. "Mario and Luigi are still out there. We'll find 'em. But you need to take care of yourself. If anything happens to you, they won't have anyone to look for them."

MP let out a long, heavy sigh.

"Alright. I'll try and-" At that moment, the phone rang. She answered it. "Super Mario Bros. Plumbing. You clog 'em, we clear 'em."

"Well, well," came a sneering, condescending voice. "If it ain't the Mario sister."

MP's face soured immediately.

"Spike…" she spat, her voice dripping with contempt.

"How's it going, Mary?"

"It's Mary Pat . And what do you want?"

"Don't you think you've wasted enough time on this? Mario and Luigi have been gone for weeks. You can't exactly handle their business and go to school at the same time."

MP scowled. "Shut up, Spike. You just can't stand the fact that Mario and Luigi would rather handle Dad's business than keep working for a jerk like you."

"That's not how I see it. I mean, if they wanted to run the place so bad, where are they?"

He laughed as MP shook with rage

"Do you have any plumbing that needs doing? Because if not, I'm hanging up."

"I knew they were failures. A couple of losers."

MP's grip tightened on her phone.

"Say that again about my brothers, and you're gonna regret it."

Spike laughed. "Stupid kid. Why do you care so much about two men who aren't even your actual brothers?"

A vein popped on MP's head, her face turning purple with rage. Edison took a step back, holding out his hands.

"Okay Mips, let's just keep our cool before you do something you're gonna regret-!"

" THEY ARE MY BROTHERS, YOU- "

A very loud truck horn rang out from the streets outside, bleeping out her last few words. MP paused, putting her hand over her mouth.

"My, my. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

Her shock wore away and she growled into the phone with a deadly calm voice, "Vaffanculo , Spike." (1)

She slammed the receiver down with all of her might.

"Wow..." Edison let out as MP slumped into her chair. "Look, don't let Spike get to you."

"They are my brothers," MP insisted. "Blood doesn't mean shiitake to us, so why are idiots like Spike so hung up on that?"

"I wish I knew, kid."

MP leaned back. "Mario, Luigi, wherever you are… I hope you're okay."

Dark Lands

A lone Koopa in a hood emerged from a Warp Pipe. He was clutching a box tightly against his chest as he looked around anxiously.

"Come on, where are they?"

As he looked around, Kamek and a group of Koopatrols appeared.

"Looking for something?" Kamek greeted.

The Koopa yelped, fumbling for the box as Kamek chuckled.

"Don't do that!" the Koopa exclaimed, sounding like he was on his last nerve.

"Why so jumpy? You're not doing anything wrong, are you?"

"Never mind that! You guys are with the Koopa Troop, right? I need to have a word with your boss."

Kamek's face went stony. "Lord Bowser is-"

"Not dead," the Koopa interrupted. "A little dip in boiling lava ain't gonna kill the King of Koopas. Those idiots are just too happy he's gone to realize. Now please, let me see him. He'll want to hear what I have to say."

"And what makes you think that?"

The Koopa patted the box. "I have something he might be interested in. Something...powerful."

Kamek and the Koopatrols mulled on that.

"Open the box," the elder Koopa ordered after a minute, only to be met with a head shake.

"I can't. Not until the right moment."

Kamek raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms. "And what moment is that?"

"When the one person who can control this thing is present."

Kamek slowly glanced at the box, sizing it up. For some reason, just being near it gave him chills. He did his best to shake it off, straightening up.

"Very well."

He waved his wand, causing them all to vanish in a puff of smoke.

Ice Country

Bowser was pacing around the room, thinking about his plans of global conquest, and the new obstacle that was the Mario Brothers.

"Lord Bowser, if you keep pacing around like that, you're going to crack the floor," Kammy warned.

"I can't help it, Kammy! I need to think of a way to defeat those meddlesome Mario Bros.! They completely destroyed my Elites the last time, all of them!" He tapped his chin with his claw, eyebrows furrowed. "I need to be smart about this. I need an edge."

"Sire, you have an army. One you're about to unleash upon them and the entire Mushroom World."

"It's not enough." Bowser shook his head. "Not for them. Brute force isn't gonna work on these guys. Not when they can out-muscle and jump my best soldiers."

Kammy thought for a moment. "Perhaps a psychological approach is in order?"

Bowser paused, turning to her. "Psycho-what?"

"Get in their heads. Figure out what makes them tick. Everyone has a weakness, even them."

That got Bowser thinking, seeing the logic in such an idea. "Hmmm...you may be on to something." He crossed his arms, tapping his chin again. "Let's see...what's a fat, red guy with a stupid mustache afraid of?"

"...a razor?" Kammy suggested.

Bowser prepared to loudly refute her but paused. "Actually, if what Clawgrip said about the green guy is true..."

There was a sudden pop and a large cloud of sparkling smoke filled the room, causing everyone to jump. Everyone turned to see Kamek and his goons appearing with the Koopa and his box.

"Lord Bowser!" Kamek greeted with a bow.

"Kamek!" Bowser seethed, waving the smoke away. "Can't you use the door like a normal person!?"

"Sorry sire, but this is important. One of the Koopas found something."

Kamek moved aside, allowing the Koopa to step forward.

"King Bowser," they greeted reverently.

Bowser looked the Koopa up and down. "You're either brave or foolish to come to me. Tell me, why are you here?"

"I work for the Koopathology Department of Shellbrain University, under Prof. Kolorado. During one of our excavations in Dry Dry Desert, we came upon an...unusual artifact."

"Unusual how?"

The Koopa shuddered. "Let me show you."

He slowly set the box on the floor, then opened it, making sure he was standing behind it, then running off to the side. The box began to shake ominously, putting the Koopatrols on alert as they readied their weapons. Bowser and his Magikoopa aides watched in worried anticipation as it suddenly stopped, allowing something to rise out of it: a red and white mask with unsettling eyes and an ominous grin.

"What the...?" Bowser let out.

"Kamek, what in the world is that?" Kammy questioned.

"I… don't know."

One of the Koopatrols nervously approached it from behind. As he drew closer, he raised his weapon, preparing to attack it. However, the mask suddenly turned around and looked him dead in the eyes, eliciting a terrified yelp from the poor creature. The mask stared right at the Koopatrol for a moment, approaching ominously as the Koopatrol backed away slowly. The mask's eyes began to glow, and a similar glow manifested in the Koopatrol's. His hands went limp, causing him to drop his spear before he let out a horrible, ear-piercing scream. He was screaming, flailing about, and crying.

"Spiders! The whole castle's crawling with spiders!"

He was running around in circles, swatting at the invisible spiders as his fellow Koopatrols watched in horror.

"What the heck!?"

"He's lost it!"

Then, just as suddenly as it began, the inflicted Koopatrol went completely still. The mask then whizzed across the room, flying toward the downed Koopa. It snapped onto his face, and energy erupted from its rim. The energy formed into a tattered, black hooded cloak that draped over the Koopatrol's body. His gauntlets gnarled, turning into claws, and his boots curved upward so the toes were pointed, like elf shoes.

"What in the world...?" Kamek gasped.

One of the remaining Koopatrols approached the now-possessed being. "Hey buddy, you alright?"

Suddenly, the mask's eyes lit up, the dark holes suddenly shining with a pair of glowing, red eyes with slit pupils and yellow sclera. It ignored the soldiers, turning its gaze to the Koopa King.

"Hello… friend."

Bowser was more than a little put-off but didn't let it show. He straightened his back and looked down his beak at the bespelled Koopatrol. "And just who, and what, are you?"

"I am…" the figure seemed to pause for a moment as if mulling over their answer. "Well, there really isn't a word in your language for what I am. As who I am, call me… Phanto."

"Okay… Phanto, what the heck did you do to my soldier?"

"Oh, nothing much. I just...showed him some things. Afterward, I shattered his consciousness like a window struck by a wayward baseball and borrowed his empty body."

That last statement scared everyone in the room

"You… You what!?" Bowser bellowed.

"What was I supposed to do?" Phanto shrugged, acting as if what he did was a natural response. "I don't exactly have one of my own, and floating around can be so… tiring."

"You monster!" the other Koopatrol yelled.

He attempted to attack Phanto, only for him to miss as the possessing mask casually side-stepped out of the way. The Koopatrol just had time to let out a confused grunt before Phanto manifested a sickle from his sleeve and cleaved him in two. He crumbled to the ground, dead in an instant as Phanto twirled the sickle in his hand, chuckling darkly.

"Ahhh, the old 'scream insults and charge in blindly' routine. Easily my third favorite reaction to my...well, existence."

"Enough," Bowser ordered, not wanting to have to deal with any more of his men getting needlessly slaughtered. "You've made your point."

"Good." Phanto flicked his wrist and the sickle vanished. "I detest long, drawn-out explanations almost as much as you do, King Bowser."

Bowser paused. "How do you know who I am?"

"Sire, you're famous," Kammy reminded him. "You'd have to be living underground not to."

"Yeah, and he was," Bowser reminded her. "In a box."

Phanto shrugged. "I learned from my host. Not that he told me, mind you. I probed it from his mind when I overtook him. And my oh my, his fear of you was... delicious. Even more so than those visions of spiders. Just being in your presence has everyone in this room marinating in fear. It's like an all-you-can-eat buffet,

and I'm loving every minute of it!"

Bowser and the others watched as Phanto cackled like a loon. Almost all of them were terrified, with a few Koopas wetting themselves. However, the Koopa King seemed almost intrigued.

"You can read what people are afraid of…" He smirked. "I could work with this… Say Phanto, how would you like to feast on more fear?"

Phanto turned to him with hungry, glowing eyes.

"You have more to offer?" A long, serpentine tongue licked his chops, making everyone shudder.

"Yes..." Bowser cleared his throat. "Tell me, have you heard of the Mario Brothers?

"Brothers? Red and green? Overalls and white gloves? Silly hats and mustaches?"

The Koopa King blinked at that. "You've met them?"

"Met them?" Phanto snorted. "I had them and their companions screaming like schoolgirls. The green one was such a scaredy cat. So terrified of everything he fainted almost immediately. And the red one…" He inhaled as if enjoying a refreshing scent. "You should've seen him squirm."

Bowser was almost salivating. "Tell me. What was that fat plumber afraid of?"

"It would seem he has some issues with his family."

Kamek raised an eyebrow. "His family? He doesn't have any family, aside from that brother of his. Kammy and I saw to that decades ago."

"In this world, maybe."

"Explain," Bowser ordered.

"The brothers have a second family. One from another world. One that they left behind and haven't seen in a long time. One that they parted on… unfortunate terms with."

Bowser's face fell, his eyes darkening

"Elaborate…"

Phanto grinned.

Brooklyn

The workshop phone rang again. MP snatched it up.

"Super Mario Bros. Plumbing. You clog 'em, we clear 'em," She paused as the caller spoke. "...Yes, I'm a girl." Her face fell slightly. "Yes, I'm a plumber." Her face fell even more and she was struggling to keep up a professional tone. "Yes, you have the right number." She listened for a bit, then her demeanor perked up again. "Riverfront Cafe? Be there in a jiffy!"

She hung up, smiling. "Edison, start the van! I've got a client!"

Ice Country

Bowser listened to Phanto's tale with a stormy expression. The koopas all gave their king a wide berth, knowing how the topic of neglectful families was touchy for him.

"And that's the whole story," Phanto declared.

Bowser was crushing the arms of Froswald's throne in his claws, smoke trickling through clenched teeth. Phanto observed this, the corner of his mouth ticking upward.

"I take it I struck a nerve?"

In response, Bowser got up, roared, and threw the throne across the room, where it shattered

"How dare that ungrateful twirp say that?! I would have killed to have a father who paid attention to me like that! I would have killed to have someone that gave me that kind of attention! And he had the gall to say that?!"

He roared again and punched a wall, the ice shattering like cheap glass. Everyone watched, with even Phanto thrown off by the violent reaction. After a moment, Kammy cleared her throat.

"Lord Bowser, with all due respect, I don't see how this information helps us. Their family is all the way in another dimension. We can't use them as leverage at all."

Bowser took a breath, composing himself before pulling his hand free of the wall. "Maybe not, but if we collect enough information on them, I'm certain we can create duplicates." He smirked at the idea. "Facsimiles to help teach them a lesson."

Kammy smirked. "Excellent suggestion, Your Rottenness."

"Tell me Phanto," Bowser began with a wicked grin, "which member of their family got the most... visceral reaction?"

"Let's see…" Phanto tapped his chin, thinking for a bit. "Out of all of them, there was one that stood out. A young girl. A niece, probably a cousin or sister. I forget which."

"Did you get a name?"

"I believe they called her...Mips?"

Kamek blinked. "Like the creature?"

"That'll have to do. Kammy! Ready your viewing crystal."

"Right away, your Vileness," Kammy waved her wand, causing a crystal ball to appear. "Now then…"

She placed her hands on the crystal.

"SPIM SU WOHS... SPIM SU WOHS... SPIM SU WOHS..."

Kammy moved her hands as she recited the spell. The crystal ball glowed. As she chanted, the glow began to give way to an image of MP riding in the passenger seat of the Super Mario Bros van.

"There!"

Bowser looked the image of the girl over as if appraising her. "So that's her. Let's see what we can learn about this Mario girl."

And with that, all of them gathered around the crystal to watch.

Brooklyn

The Super Mario Bros. Plumbing van pulled up to the cafe. Edison perked at the sight of a white van reading Scapelli Corporation on the side already there.

"Ohhh... this is a problem." the older man said.

"Those mother frackers…" MP got out, slammed the van door, and stalked towards the diner. Edison followed her out.

"Now, now, Mips, let's not do anything drastic."

MP threw the doors open. "Super Mario Bros. Plumbing! You called about a clogged washer drain?"

When no one immediately answered, she headed to the back of the kitchen to find two of Scapelli's goons talking to the diner owner; the dishwasher was leaking, suds all over the floor.

"That's a two-day job," one of them said. "We've got the parts you need, and you know what happens when you start over with parts."

"No," MP declared as she entered, getting their attention. "It's a simple hose fix. It'll take one, two hours at most. These guys are trying to rip you off."

The first goon turned to her. "I'm sorry, kid, but the diner's closed. Shouldn't you be in school?"

"It's Saturday, Doug," MP shot back. "And I'm the representative of Super Mario Bros. Plumbing."

The second goon held up a finger. "Excuse us for a minute."

They stepped out of the kitchen. The second goon reached for her tool belt, but Mary Pat slapped his hand away.

"HEY! Nobody touches the tools, Mike."

"I understand," said Doug. "But I assume you understand, Mary Pat, that nobody messes with our boss."

"Our boss, Scapelli," Mike added. "You know 'im?"

MP scoffed. "My dad grew up with him. Anthony Scapelli's no plumber. He's a toxic waste dump. He doesn't know the difference between a pipe and a crowbar."

"Mary Pat, c'mon," Mike said. "Be reasonable. Don't be stubborn like your old man."

MP glared at him. "Listen here, Mike. I know we can't prove that you're the reason Pa got hurt, but if you think you can take me out of commission…" She twisted her cap around so it was backward on her head. "I'm gonna have you singin' soprano for the Sunday choir."

Mike's eyes narrowed. "Are you threatening me?"

"Promising." MP's hand rested on her wrench like she was a gunslinger about to draw. "And a Mario always keeps a promise."

Doug scoffed. "Hey! Pascal!" The diner owner entered. "Who's it gonna be? Scapelli... or Mario Bros.?"

A moment of silence passed before Pascal turned to MP. "Mario."

MP grinned at that.

"Thank you, Mr. Pascal." She passed by Doug and Mike, making sure to look at them with a smug, superior smirk as she did. "I'll get right to work."

Ice Country

Bowser and his minions watched the scene unfold.

"Oh yes..." Kamek let out. "If I didn't know any better, I would say she was their sister by blood."

"She has their spunk, but not their spark," Kammy pointed out. "She's completely ordinary."

"And she just stood up to and threatened a pair of honest-to-Grambi mobsters." Bowser couldn't help but grin. "Forget spunk, that little girl's got moxie."

Brooklyn, Two hours later…

MP finished installing the new hose. "And there we go. Give it a test for me?"

Pascal ran the dishwasher at that, getting no more leaks or spilling suds.

"Perfect," MP handed him the invoice.

Afterward, MP happily headed home, whistling a casual tune... which cut off when she saw an ominous black sedan in the driveway, with Lou and Martha arguing with an older man with graying hair in a business suit. Her eyes narrowed as she approached.

"Mary!" the businessman greeted. "So glad you could join us."

"It's Mary Pat. And what do you want, Scapelli?"

Scapelli turned to her. "Doug and Mike came back from the Riverfront Cafe. It seems you muscled in on our racket and stole our job."

MP crossed her arms. "I don't know what you're talking about. I simply took a job I was hired to do. I have the call logs and everything to prove it."

"Don't get smart with me, young lady," Scapelli snapped, only for Lou to step in his way. Arthur and Tony also stepped forward, forming a barrier between him and the Mario women.

"You don't talk to my daughter that way," Lou hissed.

"You've been a thorn in my side for way too long," Scapelli spat before turning to MP. "You look like a smart girl. I bet that'll be your last job. It'd be unfortunate if you had a little... accident."

MP looked him right in the eyes. "I'm not afraid of thugs like you."

Lou's eyes narrowed, his voice ice cold and dripping with venom. "Anthony... you have ten seconds to get in your car and get off my property before I call the cops."

"Lou, Lou…" Scapelli shook his head. "You've already lost your sons. Do you really want to lose your daughter too?"

Lou almost punched Scapelli, but Arthur and Tony quickly held him back. He was screaming in Italian, struggling to free himself as Martha glared at Scapelli.

"Get out of my house, Scapelli," she ordered. " NOW. "

Scapelli slowly turned and left. They closed the door behind him, locking it.

"Do…" Marie began, "Do you think he did something to the boys?"

"Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised," Arthur mused.

"No," Martha shook her head, tearing up. "Mario and Luigi are alive. I know they are."

"And I know one thing," Lou spat. "If he lays one finger on Mary Pat, lo ucciderò, cazzo." (2)

"I'll be okay, Pa," MP assured. "Edison's keeping an eye on me. I'm being safe, keeping logs, everything."

"I know…" Lou hugged her tightly. "Doesn't mean I don't worry."

She hugged him back just as tightly.

Ice Country

Back with the Koopas, Bowser watched the scene with somber bitterness.

"Lousy fat bastard. Doesn't realize how good he had it…"

"Yes..." Kamek lamented.

"Agreed," Kammy said with a nod. "Even after being spurned, the man still cares for that deadbeat."

"He is either very compassionate or very stupid." Phanto rolled his eyes and gagged. "Either way, he makes me very nauseous."

"Shut up," Bowser snapped.

Brooklyn

Later, at Super Mario Bros. Plumbing, MP was seated at a small table staring off into space. Next to her was a chess board in the middle of a game, and Edison currently working out his move.

"Now lemme see here," he mused. "If I move my bishop four to queen six, uh, no, no, no, because if I do that, then I won't be able to move this one here. But then again if I move that one here, I can move this one here."

He looked up at MP, who was staring listlessly at the wall of the workshop decorated with newspaper clippings and the like. Her eyes were glassy and it was clear she wasn't paying attention.

"MP? You there? Mips?" MP didn't respond. "Mary Pat!"

"Huh?" MP blinked, turning back to him. "Oh, is it my turn?"

"Uh, no. You were spacing out again. Maybe we should save the game for another time?"

"No, no," MP shook her head. "I'm okay. Just go on and play. I... really need the distraction."

"Alrighty then." Edison played. MP blinked.

"Wait… that's it. You've been deliberating on that for ten minutes and you just move a single pawn?"

"Yeah."

MP moved a piece.

"That's your move?"

MP nodded. Edison immediately moved forward. "Checkmate."

MP stared at the board, then faceplanted. Edison heard a long, drawn-out groan.

"Wanna try again? Best two outta three?"

"No thanks." MP sat up, rubbing her face, only for her attention to be grabbed by the phone ringing. She quickly snatched it up.

"Super Mario Bros. Plumbing. You clog 'em, we clear 'em." She listened for a bit. "A broken water main? Urgent? Absolutely!" She hung up at that.

"Where to?" Edison asked.

"Main Street water main. It's flooding hard and we're the closest plumbers still open."

The van rolled up to Main Street. MP grabbed her tools and a large flashlight as Edison opened the manhole for her.

"Need a spotter?" Edison asked.

MP shook her head. "No, just stay with the van. I don't wanna leave it unattended."

Edison nodded. "Alright. Be careful."

"Of course." MP gave him a thumbs-up before descending into the sewers. Edison watched her go, unaware of two shadows looming behind him…

MP touched down in the drain tunnel, activating her flashlight and making her way deeper. She checked her phone, which had a GPS for the location, and followed it. After a bit of walking, she reached the water main, and the large drainage junction next to it. She gave it a once over with her flashlight, confused.

"Am I in the right spot?"

She checked her GPS again, only to have her phone plucked from her hand.

"You're in the right spot." Anthony Scapelli nonchalantly chucked the phone into the drain. "Right, where I want you."

With a gasp, MP stumbled back, right into a large goon blocking her exit. "You… this was a set-up!"

"Pretty much, yeah," Scapelli stepped forward. "It didn't have to come to this, you know. If you and your brothers had just let your workshop shut down with your old man…"

"And let you reduce this entire town into your stomping ground? Fat chance in hell," MP pulled a large monkey wrench from her belt. "And if you think you can scare me off, think again."

Scapelli shook her head. "Mary Pat, you don't seem to comprehend the position that you're in."

"No, you don't. I'm not one of those wimpy drones who you can just throw a bunch of money to and expect to do what you want, Scapelli. We Marios don't roll over to bullies, no matter where they're from or how rich they are. And I won't let my family's legacy be bought out and trampled by an Al Capone wannabe who still thinks spats and pinstripes are the trend!"

"So be it, then," Scapelli nodded at the big goon. "Biff, if you would?"

He reached out for her, but MP was quick to duck out of the way. She then swung her wrench right at his groin with all her strength. Biff's eyes widened, his pupils dilating as he groaned in pain, slumping over.

Ice Country

Everyone winced, hissing through clenched teeth as all the males covered their groins.

"His grandkids are going to feel that," Kamek let out.

"If he can still have them," Kammy pointed out.

"Shhh!" Phanto said, eyes glued to the crystal. "This is getting good."

Brooklyn

"I grew up with two brothers. You really think I don't know how to fight? I'm Italian you mother-"

She cut herself off, narrowly avoiding a goon trying to bring a billy club down on her head. She managed to land several blows on them, but ultimately, they overpowered her, grabbing her and dragging her over to a pipe as she kicked and struggled all the way.

"Scapelli!" MP screamed. " YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS! "

"For the record, kid, I really had nothing to do with your brothers' disappearance. Still, perhaps you'll meet them again in the next life." Scapelli tipped his hat. " Arrivederci. "

With that, MP was thrown down the drain. She screamed as she was tossed into the swirling water. Scapelli looked down at her tools, kicking them into the water after her.

"The electrician," he questioned.

"Dealt with, sir," Doug replied. "Won't be talking anytime soon. Far as anyone will know, he crashed the van into a pole."

"Good. We'll make sure to send flowers." With that, Scapelli walked off.

Ice Country

Bowser's eyes were locked on the viewing crystal as MP fell down the drain. Seeing the pipe she was approaching, he turned to Kammy.

"Kammy, I need you to open a Warp Zone in that pipe!"

Kammy blinked. "Sir? With all due respect, she's a Mario. And the energy needed to-"

"OPEN THE GRAMBI-DAMNED PIPE!" Bowser roared. "THAT'S AN ORDER! "

Kammy yelped before nodding, raising her wand, and waving it. She gathered power in her wand, sweating hard. She clenched her eyes shut and blood trickled down her beak. Slowly, a Warp Pipe began to manifest in the drain, sucking up the water, the tools, and finally, MP. With that done, Kammy wavered before dropping. Kamek quickly ran over and caught her, seeing Bowser was still looking over the crystal ball.

"Lord Bowser," Kamek began, "why would you...?"

"She may be a Mario... but she's still one hell of a fighter. I respect that." He kept his eyes on the crystal. "Where will the pipe take her?"

"Well…" Kamek hesitated. "I would say it would take the girl where Kammy feels the safest. In this case… the Dark Lands."

"Then that's where we're heading." Bowser rose to his feet. "I want to have a chat with this Mary Pat."

Author's Note:

(1): Italian for "Go fuck yourself."

(2): Italian for "I'll fucking kill him."

Oh my! Mary Pat in the Dark Lands? What will happen next?

And yes, in this bit, the Koopalings are still Bowser's kids; as much as I respect Shigeru Miyamoto, I refuse to accept the retcon that they're not his children anymore.

Voice cast for this chapter:

* Scapelli - John Glover (Lionel Luthor in Smallville, Riddler in the DCAU, Daniel Clamp in Gremlins 2: The New Batch)

* Morton - Max Casella (Daxter in Jak and Daxter, Tip in The Little Mermaid II, Zini in Dinosaur, Benny Fazio in The Sopranos)

* Lemmy - Vincent Martella (Phineas Flynn in Phineas and Ferb, Hope Estheim in Final Fantasy XIII, teen Jason Todd in Batman: Under the Red Hood)

* Iggy - Todd Haberkorn (Natsu Dragneel in Fairy Tail, Italy in Hetalia: Axis Powers, Hikaru Hitachiin in Ouran High School Host Club, Allen Walker in D. Gray-man, Death the Kid in Soul Eater, Tsukune Aono in Rosario + Vampire, Kimihiro Watanuki in xxxHolic, Yamato Akitsuki in Suzuka, Jaco in Dragon Ball Super, Sugou Nobuyuki/Oberon in Sword Art Online)

* Ludwig - Greg Ayres (Hideki in Nerima Daikon Brothers, Koyuki Tanaka in Beck: Mongolian Chop Squad, Son Goku in Saiyuki, Clear in Dramatical Murder, Chrono in Chrono Crusade, Yuu Nishinoya in Haikyu!, Kaoru Hitachin in Ouran High School Host Club, Negi Springfield in Negima, Heihachi Hayashida in Samurai 7, Frost in Dragon Ball Super, Tomoki Sakurai in Heaven's Lost Property, Kouta Tsuchiya in Baka and Test)

* Roy - Bobby Gaylor (Buford Van Stomm in Phineas and Ferb)

* Larry - Jeremy Shada (Finn in Adventure Time, Lance in Voltron: Legendary Defender)

* Wendy - Rachel Wilson (Heather from Total Drama, Tamira Goldstein in Breaker High)

Please R&R. Until next time!