-Chapter 41-

Strategic Retreat

Mario was immediately on the offensive. He dodged around the mist before charging at Madame Hua. He jumped into the air, swinging one fist in a downward arc and slamming it into her face (1). A loud, sickening crunch sounded as Hua was knocked off her feet. Everyone gasped in shock to see Hua's head hanging limply, her neck snapped by the blow.

"Holy...!" MP gasped.

"Mamma mia..." Luigi let out.

"Oh no!" Mario cried.

"Mario, what have you done?!" Peach screamed.

"I...I didn't mean to! I-It was an accident, I-!"

"That... was rather rude."

Everyone slowly turned to see Hua standing up. As they watched, gaping, she grabbed her head, snapping it back into place. She tilted her head back and forth, her neck joints cracking and popping as she sighed.

"She...She's alive!?" Mario exclaimed.

"No… she's not," Daisy chimed in. "She's a Jyamp-shi. Kind of a zombie vampire."

"Z-Zombie vampire!?" Luigi stammered. "That's a thing here!?"

"I mean, it showed up in Chinese mythology." MP sighed at her brothers' weird looks. "What? I read manhua! They're fun!"

"Your brute strength may have bested Bowser, Super Mario... but I'm afraid your efforts will be quite futile against me. After all…" Hua smirked. "You can't end the game of someone who's already dead. Now...BIOKINTON!"

Hua summoned her cloud again, the tendrils lashing out and grabbing everyone as she laughed.

"Madame Hua..." Daisy wheezed. "Please, stop..."

"Apologies, my dear, but I've been wanting to do this for a very long time. And I'm not about to let this opportunity pass me by!" Hua tightened the grip of her clouds, grinning evilly. "That's it… Squirm. Writhe. Beg for mercy! Scream for the pain to end!"

"Scream for this! "

"Eh?" As soon as Hua turned, she was met with a blinding flash.

"First the flash… and now…"

The sound of a vacuum filled the air. The clouds released Mario and co., allowing them to see a hissing, snarling Hua frantically running and clawing around, caught in the grip of a vacuum cleaner mounted on E. Gadd's back.

"YOU!" Hua shrieked.

"Hello there, Madame Hua." Gadd greeted. "I take if you didn't receive my message?"

"Elvin Gadd...you dare attack the Empress of Death!?"

"Attack? Perish the thought! Attack denotes the desire to bring harm! I'm capturing you! You're a prime specimen for my ecto research! That, and those are my friends you're crushing to death!"

Hua let out a roar, waving a hand and causing a tendril of the Biokinton to swing at E. Gadd, knocking him back and breaking the suction. E. Gadd rose to his feet, adjusting his glasses.

"Although…. perhaps some light attacking wouldn't be entirely ineffective regarding the capturing process."

Hua grabbed E. Gadd, pulling him in close.

"For the record, Professor, I did get your message," Hua told him. "It made excellent kindling. And I'm sure you will too." She then turned toward the others. "Zamasu! Totahmet!" She then proceeded to grin evilly. "Stir fry this fool!"

Hua threw E. Gadd into the air as the Shphinx and seahorse prepared to attack, mouths glowing with a fiery light. However, before they could strike, MP sprang forward, grabbing the old man by the collar and yanking him to safety.

"Sorry, but I don't think this old geezer's time is up just yet."

Everyone slowly backed up as the rulers and Tatanga all loomed over them

"Guys…" Luigi began, "If there ever was a time to run for our lives, this is it!"

"What?!" Daisy let out. "Back down from a fight?! I'm no coward!"

"Then call it a tactical retreat! We can't win this!"

"Luigi's right," Peach insisted. "We're outnumbered and we don't have a plan. We need to fall back and regroup."

"But...!" Daisy saw Totahmet and Zamsau readying flame blasts at them. "Oh man!"

The group narrowly dodged in time.

"Crap, you're right!" We gotta bounce!"

The group quickly took off out of the meeting room and down the hall

"After them!" Hua shrieked. "Don't let them escape!"

"I don't follow orders from you, corpse!" Zamasu snapped. "After them! Don't let them escape!"

The rulers gave chase.

-X-

Meanwhile, the heroes were fleeing down the hallway.

"C'mon, we gotta get going!" Mario cried.

"This way!" Daisy shouted.

"Thank you again for saving us, Professor," Peach told him.

Gadd shrugged. "Just doing my part to save the world, Your Highness."

"Gotta admit, that wasn't bad," MP mused.

"By the way, what's with the vacuum pack?" Luigi asked.

"Oh, this?" E. Gadd grinned. "Allow me to introduce you to the Poltergust 1000! The latest in ghost-catching technology!"

Luigi raised an eyebrow. "A vacuum that traps ghosts?"

"Honestly, I was half-expecting a proton pack," MP admitted.

"Are you mad? I want to capture them, not atomize them! Also, protons?" E. Gadd laughed like he had just been told a funny joke.

"What are you doing here, exactly?" Mario asked.

"Oh, I've heard rumors about the Chai Kingdom. All manner of supernatural critters and things that go bump in the night there. I've been dying to look into it. I sent Madame Hua over four hundred request letters... this week."

A dead silence followed.

"You are one freaky little man, you know that?" Daisy deadpanned.

"I prefer 'freaky vertically challenged man', thank you."

"If she turned you down, why are you here?" Luigi asked.

"Well, I decided nothing should stand in the way of science. So here we are."

"Seriously!?" Daisy exclaimed.

"Uhhh...guys?" MP cut in. "Can we do this later? In case you forgot, WE'RE BEING-" Whatever she was about to say was drowned out by her helmet glitching out, "CHASED!"

"Right, of course," E. Gadd nodded. "Let's continue this once we get to the Marine Pop and get the hell out of here, shall we?"

"The only pop that's going to happen here is the sound your eyes make while you're boiled to death!"

Everyone spun around to see Zamasu taking a breath. Luigi grinned sheepishly.

"I, uh... take it this isn't something we can talk about?" He ducked a blast of superheated water. "Guess not!"

As they ran, they kept dodging Zamasu's water blasts. One they ducked burned a hole clean through a stone wall.

"Holy-!" MP's attempted curse was once again drowned out by her helmet glitching.

"You should get that looked at," E. Gadd suggested.

"Oh for Ra's sake, Zamasu, you couldn't hit the broad half of a pyramid!" Totahmet snapped.

"Weak, dude," Trompal chimed in, shaking his head.

"As if you could do better!" the sea dragon scoffed.

"Sit back and watch."

The rulers watched as Trompal put a hand through the stone wall, pulling out a huge hunk of rock.

"Uhoh…" Mario said.

"Dudes and dudettes!" Trompal called out. "Give it up for the Rolling Stones!"

With a mighty swing, Trompal bowled the rock hunk forward, sending it rolling right toward Mario and his friends.

"Rolling boulder of doom!" MP cried out.

"MOVE!" Peach called out, prompting them to pick up the pace. Unfortunately, Trompal continued throwing rocks at the boulder, which somehow fused to it, causing it to grow bigger and faster.

"Guys, it's gaining!" Daisy shouted as the boulder picked up speed.

"We'll never outrun it at this rate!" E. Gadd shouted.

Just then, Luigi had an idea.

"So, we won't!"

"Whatcha thinkin', Lu?" Mario asked.

"I think have a way to get us out of this, but I need something that can break stuff! Hard stuff!"

Just then, Peach had an idea. "Mary Pat! Give me your bag!"

"O-Okay…"

Mips pulled her bag off her shoulder, tossing it to Peach. The princess reached into it... then pulled out a massive, oversized hammer that definitely could not fit inside. It was huge and spiked and had a face on it that was akin to a Thwomp.

"Luigi! Use this!"

Peach handed Luigi the hammer, which he swung at the coming rocks, sending the boulder rolling back toward the rulers.

"Uh-oh…" was all they managed before they were hit by the boulder and scattered, complete with a sound akin to bowling pins being knocked over.

"Yes!" Luigi cheered. "Strike!"

"Whoa, way to go, string bean," Daisy said, legitimately impressed.

"Mips…" Mario began, shock evident in his voice, "When did you get that hammer?"

"I didn't," MP admitted, just as shocked. "All that's in there is my phone and that wallet Peach got me…"

"Context-sensitive bag, straight from the Rare Archipelago's Panther Kingdom (2)," Peach exclaimed. "It gives us just what we need at that moment in time, except Power-Ups like Fire Flowers. Of course, if you collect Power-Ups yourself, you can keep them in the bag, and any food you put in the bag won't spoil!"

"Whoa…" MP looked at the bag. "Mary Poppins, eat your heart out."

They heard a groaning sound, looking back to see the rulers getting back up.

"Time to bail!" Mario cried as they took off.

"Excellent work, you boulder-brained nincompoop!" Zamasu snapped as he shook off his disorientation. "They're escaping!"

"How was I supposed to know they'd have a Thwomp Hammer!" Trompal shot back.

"Enough, you fools!" Hua cut in. "Every second you spend bickering is another that enables Mario and his merry band to escape!"

"Indeed. It looks like it's up to me, now." Totahmet's eyes glowed. "Shphinxes of Piraput, take flight and destroy my enemies!"

Outside the building, Sebas paced around, nervousness waving off of him.

"Oh my… Oh, dear… Oh goodness… Where are they!?"

"Sebas!"

Sebas turned to see Daisy and the others running toward him.

"Ah! Princess!"

"It was a trap!" Daisy cried. "Tatanga has all of the rulers under his control!"

"By the Stars…" Sebas gasped. "If all four of them are under his power...then the kingdom is lost."

"Indeed," E. Gadd agreed. "Thus, we must make a swift egress. Are you coming?"

"I..."

"Of course he is!" Daisy grabbed Sebas.

At that moment, the group heard numerous beastly roars from above. They looked up and saw Totahmet flying overhead with his Shphinxes, all of them glaring down at them.

"Um…" Luigi began. "I think we're in trouble!"

"Ohhhh..." Mario gasped.

"That's a lotta Shphinxes..." MP remarked.

"Princess, do you have any other weapons in that bag of yours?" Luigi asked.

"Not enough for an entire army!" Peach cried.

"Subjects, open fire!" Totahmet ordered. "Burn these pathetic mortals to the ground!"

"Yes, Pharaoh!' The Shphinxes began bombarding them with fireballs.

"Quick! Follow me!" E. Gadd cried. "To the Marine Pop!"

The group fled for their lives, fireballs raining down upon them, each exploding as it impacted the ground. As they ran, one fireball struck a tower, fracturing it. Peach looked up, gaping to see the rubble falling toward Daisy.

"Daisy! LOOK OUT!"

Without a second thought, Peach leaped forward, shoving Daisy out of the way just in time for the rubble to fall, burying her. Daisy stumbled before spinning back around, gaping in horror.

"PEACH!"

The Marios all skidded to a halt.

"Not good!" MP cried.

"Egads!" E. Gadd cried.

They all rushed over, working to get the debris off her. E. Gadd uses his vacuum cleaner, lifting rocks off as quickly as possible. Daisy and Mario were pulling stuff by hand while Luigi used the hammer and MP used the pistons in her gauntlets to crush the rocks. Eventually, all of them recoiled, gasping and placing a hand to her mouth at the sight of the unconscious, battered Peach.

"Oh my gosh!" Daisy frantically pulled Peach from the rubble. "Oh stars...Oh, Grambi… Peach… C'mon, wake up! Please!"

"One side!" E. Gadd stepped forward, pulling out a power-up similar to a Super Mushroom, but green rather than red. "Open her mouth, hurry!"

Daisy pulled Peach's mouth open. E. Gadd shoved the mushroom into her mouth and made her swallow it. A few tense moments passed before Peach released a violent gasp, breathing again, but still unconscious.

"S-should we chance moving her?" Luigi asked.

The roars of the still-attacking Shphinxes was all the answer he needed.

"She's fine!" E. Gadd said. "Just get her!"

Mario gently picked her up, and the group continued to run until they reached the docks. There floated the Marine Pop, everyone crowding in to see a robot with white-and-red coloring at the wheel. It slowly turned to face them

"Greetings, Professor. How was the-?" the robot looked up to see the pursuing Shphinxes. "Oh no."

"Floor it, ROB!" the professor shouted.

"Flooring."

ROB immediately got to work booting up the engines, flipping switches and pressing buttons as fast as he could. Finally, he pulled a large lever, and the engines roared to life. Marine Pop jetted away from the dock, diving under the water, just in time to avoid a fireball that would've landed right on top of them. As everyone caught their breath, ROB turned, raising a hand in greeting.

"Hello," it greeted. "I am ROB, the Robotic Operating Buddy. One of many robotic assistants across the Mushroom World and beyond, created to aid in any manner possible by Professors Hector and Vector."

"Hi," MP replied. "Do you know First Aid? We've got a serious case here."

"Preparing bioscan." ROB released a red ray from his eyes, scanning Peach. Once he finished, his eyes flashed and beeped. "Subject has no injuries, but has extreme fatigue. Recommended treatment: Eight hours rest, followed by food, if needed."

"Right, magic mushrooms…" MP nodded. "What was that mushroom you gave her, Professor? It didn't look like a Super Shroom."

"Instantaneous Revival Mushroom," E. Gadd answered. "It has the power to completely restore someone to peak condition, even if they're on the brink of death."

"I've heard of those," Luigi recalled. 'Most people call them 1-Up Mushrooms for short. Like in video games."

"So they're like bonus lives. Good thing you had one… or else Peach's game would have ended."

Daisy looked over at Peach sadly.

"And the last thing we would have done was fight…" A look of horror crossed her face as she sat down, trying to keep it together. "The last thing I would've said to her was..."

"Hey…" Luigi placed a hand on her shoulder. "She's gonna be okay. Peach is a fighter. She'll pull through, then you can apologize, and we can all work together to take back Sarasaland."

Daisy looked at Luigi, her mind going over everything that happened since she'd met him and the others.

"Yeah, you're right," she said, smiling. "Thanks stringbe-... I-I mean Luigi. And...thank you for what you did back there."

"Of course," Luigi replied, smiling back.

Off to the side, Mips sat down, pulling her helmet off.

"You good, sis?" Mario asked.

"Those black-shelled Koopas… their eyes weren't purple… but the way they were acting... it felt off."

"Yeah..." Mario agreed. "They seemed scared."

"More than scared. They were in pain," MP grimaced, then reached for her bag, pulling out a magenta cellphone with a purple Toad cap design.

"Who are you calling?" Daisy asked.

"The expert on Koopas."

The Dark Lands

At Bowser's Castle, he was in the midst of a hearty lunch with all of the Koopalings, halfheartedly listening to Morton's latest long-winded story.

"So, I was telling Spike the other day that there's no way Captain Syrup would lose to Cortez if he were still alive." He shoved a piece of meat-on-a-bone in his mouth. "For one, Cortez could make himself into a giant and he had FOUR ARMS! All Syrup's got are a bunch of Gooms and some tricked-out cannons. Cortez would eat her up for breakfast!"

"Uh-huh." Bowser took a bite out of a cheesy drumstick. "Very interesting."

"Yeah," Morton continued, oblivious to everyone's disinterest. "And then Spike gives me this look. Doesn't say anything, but I could tell he thought I was full of it. So I start yelling and he just keeps giving me that look and then..."

"Oh my various Koopas, would you please stop?!" Wendy snapped. "I'd rather staple my ears shut than listen to this stupid pirate story for another minute!"

"Oh come on, it's a good story! Right, Dad?" Morton said.

"Uh huh, Very interesting." Bowser ate an entire rolled omelet.

Morton blinked in disbelief. "What, were you even listening?"

"Uhhh..." Bowser's cell phone went off. "Oh thank Jaydes!" He whispered.

From the upbeat tone (3), he could tell it was an ally, meaning it was either a report or just a social call. He pressed the button and held it up to his head.

"You rang?" he asked.

"Hey Bowser, it's me."

Bowser and the Koopalings paused as they realized who was calling.

"Is that MP?!" Junior let out.

"The squishy!" Lemmy cheered.

"Wow, didn't expect her to call," Iggy said.

"Shhh!" Bowser shushed before going back to the call. "Mary Pat! Good to hear from you. How are you doing?"

MP paused. "Not that great honestly. I have a question for you. Are there Koopa with black shells?"

Bowser paused.

"Black...shells?" he asked, anxiously, picking up a drinking glass.

"Yeah...they kinda... explode."

Bowser went bug-eyed, his glass falling out of his hand and onto the floor, shattering and spilling the contents.

"Bowser?" MP asked, worriedly.

"Daddy?" Junior chimed in.

"Bombshells..." Bowser let out, confirming her suspicions.

"So there are black-shelled Koopas?"

"There were," Bowser corrected sternly. "Bombshell Koopas. Koopas whose shells have been magically fused with Bob-ombs. My father used them as… kamikaze warriors."

"Your father?"

"Morton Sr…" Bowser said, his tone bitter and caustic.

Morton Jr. winced. Bowser put a comforting hand on his son's head.

"It's because of him the Koopas have such a bad name," he sighed. "Yeah, I'll be the first to admit the Koopa Troop under me has racked up its fair share of bad karma... but even at their best, things were worse than me at my worst when my old man was in charge."

"So, they aren't yours." MP let out a sigh of relief. "Good. I had a feeling they weren't... but I had to be sure."

"Oh, hell no!" Bowser shouted, slamming his fist on the table. "That's one of the first things I outlawed when I took the throne!"

"Like Lame Brain?" There was a hint of judgment in her tone.

"Never mind that. How and why in the Underwhere did you encounter Bombshells?"

"My bros and I are in Sarasaland, the kingdom run by Princess Peach's sister Daisy. Some crazy alien calling himself Tatanga is invading the place and an entire contingent of Bombshell Koopas attacked us. They were... it reminded me of when Nonno (4) would tell us about the war… (5)"

Bowser grimaced. "Mary Pat, I'll call you back. There's something I need to take care of."

"Right."

Bowser hung up, rising to his feet.

"Dad?" Wendy asked worriedly.

Bowser rubbed his face, then turned to his daughter. "Alright… Wendy, I need you to get in contact with all of your followers on Tweet (6). Ask if there've been any disappearances of Koopas, especially around Sarasaland."

Wendy nodded, immediately pulling out her phone.

"Ludwig, head down to the Royal Archives and dig up everything you can regarding your...grandpa's military campaigns in the kingdom."

"Right away!" Ludwig stood up, heading off

"The rest of you, help your siblings with their work. Something rotten's going on here, and we're gonna find out what."

Author's Note:

(1): His forward aerial in Smash Bros.

(2): Yes, a Conker's Bad Fur Day reference; by virtue of first appearing in Diddy Kong Racing, he's part of this verse alongside Banjo-Kazooie. Of course, he'll be toned down for the Mario-verse.

(3): The Dr. Mario "Fever" theme.

(4): Italian for Grandpa

(5): A reference to the Game & Watch game Mario's Bombs Away, which depicts Mario as a soldier in what was presumably the Vietnam War. Here, their grandfather fought in it.

(6): Mushroom World Twitter. Named after the Tweeters from Super Mario Bros. 2.

Well… this got real bad real fast. Will Mario and friends prevail against Tatanga's brainwashed flunkies? Stay tuned…

Voice cast for this chapter:

* ROB - Scott Adsit (Baymax from Big Hero 6, Clay Puppington from Moral Orel, Pierre Pressure in Megamind vs. the Doom Syndicate)

Please R&R. Until next time!