Duran-kun and Kiyo-chan's Omake Theater

(featuring the Kuga-Fujino family pets)

"I think I'm just about Christmased out," Natsuki sighed, sagging back against the front of the couch. Her flop was marked by a crinkling rustle as the discarded wrapping paper, ribbons, and tissue paper lining that scattered the floor around her was crunched under her body.

"Ara, I always knew that my Natsuki was a generous spirit, and now I have proof," her girlfriend said, leaning forward with twinkling eyes and a clever smile.

"What's that about?"

Apparently her curiosity was shared, because a rustling noise announced the presence of a burrowing animal, and in the next moment Kiyohime's six heads popped up out of the discard pile. Her sixth head, in particular, had a wedge of a chocolate orange in its mouth, as she'd apparently been hunting for buried treasure in the heap.

"Well, we've been opening our Christmas gifts, and here you are ready to stop. Your avarice and greed don't even extend to the full amount of your friends' generosity."

Natsuki blinked at her.

"What, there's still more?"

"I believe that it is Alyssa's influence. The American custom of extending Christmas to include friends as well as more distant family has been spreading through Fuuka Academy, particularly since Miyu became one of the novices at the chapel."

"I still have no idea what denomination they're supposed to follow there, what with Sister Yukariko marrying and having a child, and the current novices including an android and a Nao."

"It's a coincidence you should mention Nao. The last gift in your stack is from her."

"Is that what they mean by 'speak of the Devil and she shall appear'? Well, let's see what she got me."

Duran walked up to her, a large, flat white box tied with a white ribbon in his mouth. She accepted the box and gave the steel wolf a scratch behind his ears. Then she held the box up to her own ear.

"Isn't it customary to shake a present to see if you can tell what it is by sound?"

Natsuki shook her head.

"That's not it. I just wanted to see if it was ticking."

Shizuru frowned at her. "Natsuki," she chided, "you should not say such things about Miss Yuuki."

Natsuki let out a regretful sigh.

"You're right."

"Of course I am."

"Nao would never make such an obvious mistake as using a mechanical timing device."

That remark put her on the receiving end of eight separate pairs of eyes giving her a direct "Really, Natsuki?" look. It definitely would have been nine had Kiyohime's main body not still been under the pile.

"Oh, all right. If you people insist on trusting her good intentions, it's all on your heads."

She undid the ribbon, tossed it onto the discard pile, and opened the box.

"Okay, it didn't explode, but I still think I get to say 'I told you so.'"

"What is it?"

Wordlessly, Natsuki turned the box so that Shizuru could see its contents. Now, it will be noted that, as Americanized as the holiday season had become in the Fuuka-Tsukimori region, the concept of Ugly Christmas Sweaters had not yet penetrated the cultural awareness. Thus, Shizuru was left to blink in surprise at the red-and-green-striped monstrosity with its dancing Santa and reindeer band.

"Are those noses glow-in-the-dark?" Shizuru wondered, a little bewildered.

"At this point I'm just glad they're not actual battery-powered lights. Maybe she got the size wrong and I can exchange it?" Natsuki checked the label and sighed again. "No such luck, She's way too sneaky to make that kind of rookie mistake."

Shizuru chose not to comment on her girlfriend's particular kind of honor that required her to have a genuine excuse to exchange an unwanted Christmas gift. Being weirdly stubborn on points of principle was one of the things she found charming about her Natsuki.

"Perhaps there's some trick of perspective to it that makes it look better on a person than in the box?"

"I think an exorcism makes more sense than a perspective change, but…I suppose I have to try. If the thing actually looks good and I put off trying it because I'm scared, she's going to know, and she's going to laugh herself sick."

She heaved herself up off the floor and headed into the bedroom. After a couple of minutes punctuated by muttered complaints and one yelp of pain from when she'd found a stray pin the hard way, Natsuki reemerged, clad in the offense against nature.

"Well, what do you think?"

Duran scrunched his eyes shut and then, apparently considering that insufficient, covered them with his paw. Kiyohime, having no paws, instead pulled her heads back down so that her entire body was buried in gift-wrap.

"I was wrong!" Shizuru screeched, the fact she was willing to make such an assumption positive proof of the seriousness of the situation. "It's even worse out of the box on full display!"

"I think I'm starting to understand how the Phantom of the Opera felt," Natsuki grumbled. After all, while she understood it was the sweater prompting such a reaction, the three of them had been looking at her at the time. It was that feeling that kept her from immediately going back to the bedroom to change, and it proved that any delay at all was too much for Shizuru.

"Off! We have to get it off right now!" she cried as she leapt from the couch.

"Ack! Shizuru, what—" Natsuki began, but her girlfriend had already seized the hem of the knit abomination and in a single swift move yanked it up over her head and off her arms before tossing it away into a corner.

"There! Now that that thing is gone we can—" Shizuru started to say, then broke off, as she belatedly came to the realization that Natsuki was now only clad in a lace-and-satin demi-cup confection from her collection of lingerie.

Her attempts to remove the remainder of Natsuki's clothing were from considerably different motives, but proved no less successful than her removal of the sweater.

~X X X~

"I brought up the mail," Aoi Senoh announced as she walked into the dorm suite she shared with Nao.

"Anything for me?"

"You have a letter from Miss Fujino. I wonder why she didn't just call you? It must be something formal if she put it in writing."

"It's probably a Christmas thank-you note. Fujino's definitely the type to observe proper manners."

"That's true. But…I don't remember you sending her a gift."

"It was a little more subtle than just shoving something in a box and sending it over, but she's good at spotting that stuff. After all, that note proves that she recognized my efforts to make sure she and Kuga had themselves a merry Christmas."