Disclaimer: SVU and all of its characters were created by and are the property of Dick Wolf. I make no profit with this story, which is my own original work.
Olivia woke on the morning following the four day span of her trauma anniversary feeling as though a giant weight had been lifted from her shoulders. For the first time in what seemed like forever, she was actually looking forward to getting up and facing the day. There was so much to be grateful for. Not only was Owen coming over later for yet another cooking lesson, but the cottage was full of men she held so dear to her heart. The only one missing from their original squad was Don, and Olivia knew that if her former Captain were not out at sea right now sailing on a cruise with his wife, he would also be right by her side showing his support.
While it wasn't her intent to disturb him, Olivia was also aware that the man sleeping next to her was also awake. A moment of careful consideration calmed her traitorous brain as she reminded herself that Elliot had just become so in tune to her that he automatically stirred whenever she did. Considering their plans to go for a walk today, their mutual early rising time would work to their advantage.
"Morning, Liv. I'm guessing I don't need to ask you if you still want to take that walk. I can tell by the look on your face that you're practically itching to get out of the house."
"You've got me there. Are you sure you have enough time? I don't want to make you late for your meeting."
Elliot reached out and rested his palm against the side of Olivia's face, cupping her cheek softly.
"I will always have time for you."
With a nod, Olivia got out of bed, and went in search of something to wear. Even though the weather was warmer now, sometimes the early mornings were still somewhat chilly, especially so close to the water. Deciding to dress in a pair of leggings and a tank top, paired with one of her partner's hoodies, she was soon ready to go. Just before emerging from the bathroom where she had secluded herself so she could dress, Olivia had to tell herself Elliot would never think less of her for not changing clothes in the same room as him. Even if that was something they were once accustomed to when in a shared locker room on the job, so much had happened since then. Elliot had reminded her just the other night that how and when she chose to bare any part of her body was her choice, and she wasn't under any obligation to him to do so. It was something she had already known, but hearing the words out loud had certainly helped.
"Are you ready to go, El? I was thinking we could grab a light breakfast when we get back, if that's okay."
"Sounds good to me. I was going to ask if you wanted to invite Fin and John to join us, but I don't think either of them are up yet."
With a smile, Olivia followed Elliot out of the master bedroom and down the stairs.
"We are up a bit earlier than usual. We can always make it up to them later."
As he always did, Elliot deferred to his partner's preference in regard to which direction she wanted to head. Since it had been several days since she'd been able to enjoy a walk, and there was still a part of her that wanted to avoid the more populated areas, Olivia opted for the beach. Plus, walking along the shoreline always gave her a sense of peace. By the time they were on their way back to the cottage, she was feeling more than rejuvenated.
The partners returned to find that no one else was up yet – or at the very least, not downstairs. Mindful of the fact that he needed to get to a meeting, Olivia insisted that Elliot take his shower first. In the meantime, she promised to put on a pot of coffee to brew, and try and come up with an idea for something to make for everyone to eat.
"Okay, Liv, you win. But, I am going to ask you this – let me make breakfast, okay? I don't mind if you put on the coffee, but Owen will likely have you busy most of the morning and early afternoon. If you want, we can always make dinner together."
"Sounds good to me."
While Elliot headed upstairs, promising to save some hot water for Olivia, she went into the kitchen. After putting on a pot of coffee, she started searching through their collection of saved recipes. She may have promised to save the chore of cooking for her partner, but that didn't mean she couldn't still offer some input.
It didn't take long before Olivia found something that appeared to be not only easy enough to execute, but likely to please the wide variety of appetites currently existing within the household. When Elliot returned a few minutes later, she showed him what she had discovered, and he quickly agreed with her assessment. Just as she was about to head up to take her own shower, Fin and John appeared in the kitchen, having been drawn to the lower level by the tantalizing aroma of freshly brewed coffee.
"Morning, you two. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to head upstairs for a little bit. Elliot will be making pancakes for breakfast, so if you tell him what toppings or fillings you prefer, he can get that prepped for you. I already put in my vote for blueberries in mine. All I ask is that if any of you know what is good for you, you won't drink all the coffee before I get back."
Olivia could still hear the laughter echoing after her as she made her way up to the second floor. Where she normally would linger under the soothing spray of the shower, today she rushed through her routine, anxious to spend more time with her friends. She still didn't know how Fin and John had decided to spend their day while she was having her cooking lesson, and although it wasn't something that made her anxious, the curiosity was definitely there.
It was only after she had dressed that Olivia realized that she was yet again wearing some of her partner's clothes. For the briefest of moments, she considered changing into something else, then dismissed the thought as quickly as it had entered her mind. Even during their time working together at SVU, it wasn't uncommon for her to borrow an item from Elliot's locker, so her wearing something of his was certainly nothing new. That didn't mean she might not get any gentle teasing about it from some of the men downstairs, but Olivia knew she wouldn't mind that at all. If anything, it would make things as familiar as they had always been.
After pulling her hair back into a ponytail in preparation for her cooking lesson later that morning, Olivia descended back to the first floor. Her nose told her that there was still coffee waiting for her – either that or someone had put on a fresh pot. Likewise, it appeared the pancakes that Elliot had promised were nearly ready as well. With her stomach growling in anticipation, she headed toward the kitchen.
No matter how much she had wanted to help, Olivia had to allow herself to be fussed over as the three men set breakfast on the table. While Elliot was taking the blueberry pancakes out of the oven – as it turned out, he had followed her suggested recipe of preparing them sheet pan style in order to make a large batch all at once – Fin was bringing her coffee and John was setting the plates and silverware. More amused than annoyed, Olivia kept quiet, hiding her smile behind a surreptitious sip of water.
Once everyone was seated and had their plates filled, conversation ensued, and the rest of Olivia's anxieties continued to evaporate. As the small group ate, her friends spoke about their plans for the day, and the irrational worries that had previously crept into her mind were put at ease once more. She had already known of her partner's intentions for the morning, but now it was clear that Fin and John were going to make themselves scarce as well. While she wouldn't have been intimidated by any of the man staying on at the cottage, Olivia was nonetheless relieved that her time with Owen for her upcoming cooking lesson would be one-on-one.
While the meal was somewhat rushed, given that Elliot needed to head out to his meeting, the camaraderie was enjoyed by all. Before Olivia even had a chance to offer to help with cleanup, however, Fin and John had already taken care of it, and were starting to clear away the empty dishes. Not long after everything was put back in its rightful place, Elliot was on his way, with a promise to return with a full appetite for whatever lunch that Owen and Olivia might have prepared. Likewise, John and Fin were out the door shortly after as well, and for the first time in several days, Olivia was left on her own. It wasn't a daunting concept, though she was well aware that had it happened even as little as twenty four hours ago she might have felt differently. Today, though, she was more than grateful for a few moments of peace and quiet to gather her thoughts.
Olivia was still sitting in the living room when her phone chimed, and once again she was more grateful than ever that her friends knew her well enough to message ahead of time to alert her of their arrival instead of simply just knocking on the door. Owen was just leaving his house, and should be arriving shortly. Knowing her neighbor's tendency to bring all the necessary supplies for their cooking lesson with him, Olivia went to unlock and open the door, already anticipating that Owen's hands would likely be laden with bags. As it turned out, she was right to do so, for upon first glimpse of her friend, it was clear that whatever he had planned, it would require a multitude of ingredients.
"Here, let me help."
"Thanks. If you could just take two of these off my hands, I can manage the rest."
"No problem. What did you do, buy out the entire store?"
Owen's reaction to the gentle teasing was merely a broad grin. Once they had unloaded their burden, he gladly accepted Olivia's offer of coffee, knowing how much she preferred to go over the recipes first before diving headfirst into them. Accepting the mug of coffee that the brunette brought over to him, Owen passed over the tablet with the recipe app already open so Olivia could examine one of the things he had slated for them to make.
"I know you've had a difficult few days, so I thought we'd keep things somewhat simple for your first lesson back. Nothing overly complicated. First off, I'm going to teach you something that can easily become a staple, and utilizes one of my favorite appliances in the kitchen – the slow cooker."
"I like the sound of that. Is that what this layered white chicken enchilada is that I see here?"
"That's the one. To go with it, I have a foolproof recipe for a stove top queso blanco that can pair with some tortilla chips for a hassle free side dish. Plus, knowing you, I figure you'll also want something fresh, so we can also make either a fresh green salad, or I brought the ingredients for elote as well."
Olivia didn't even attempt to hide her smile.
"Elote sounds amazing. What about dessert? Because I know you haven't forgotten about my sweet tooth."
"I value my life, Olivia. There is no way I've forgotten dessert. Keeping in mind with the simple theme of today, we'll be using a box mix rather than baking from scratch, but what do you think of tres leches cake served with fresh strawberries?"
"Delicious."
As soon as they finished their coffee, the two got to work. While normally Olivia was used to getting the baking portion out of the way first, as typically cooling time was necessary, in this instance, Owen explained that it was best to assemble the crock pot dish first, since it would require the most hours to cook. By the time Elliot and the others returned, lunch would be ready. Not wanting her friend to duck out yet again and miss another meal he had helped prepare, Olivia was quick to issue an invite early on.
"You will be joining us for lunch today, won't you?"
"I can stay, so long as you don't think I'll be intruding."
"Of course not."
First up, Olivia was instructed to mix butter and flour in a saucepan, which Owen explained would create a simple base for a sauce called a roux. After the flour was cooked, she added some chicken stock and allowed the mixture to thicken. Some milk came next, along with a series of spices and a can of mild green chiles. Once the sauce was complete, Olivia was instructed to remove it from the heat and stir in the final component – sour cream. Now everything was just about ready to assemble.
Owen explained that he was helping Olivia use the same shortcut he took advantage of often, and that was by grabbing a couple of rotisserie chickens from the prepared foods section of the grocery store. They worked together to separate and shred the meat, and then Owen offered his assistance in grating the block of cheese that would be needed for the recipe, earning him yet another smile from Olivia.
"I'm guessing Elliot informed you that the box grater and I are mortal enemies?"
"He might have mentioned something like that, yes."
Finally, they were at the point where Olivia could begin to assemble the enchiladas in the slow cooker. The convenience of this particular recipe left out the more tedious method of rolling the tortillas one by one, instead layering them more along the lines of a lasagna. First, a base of corn tortillas, then some sauce, followed by the shredded chicken and topped with cheese. The steps were repeated until only a layer of a cheese remained on top. Then the temperature was set to cook on high for three hours, and Olivia didn't have to spare another worry about the main dish. Now she could simply focus on the side courses as well as dessert.
"Since neither of the sides take very long, I thought we would make the dessert next, as the cake requires some cooling time. How does that sound? Unless, of course, you need to take a break?"
"No, I'm fine. Let's just clean some of this up first so there isn't too big of a mess by the time we're finished."
Even though Olivia argued it wasn't necessary, Owen insisted on helping. With the two of them working together, they breezed through the cleanup process in practically no time at all. As for the next piece of equipment that would be needed for the next portion of the lesson, it was once again Owen who said he would bring the hand mixer to the center island of the kitchen from its place on the pantry shelf.
"I've got this, Liv. Why don't you set out some of the other things we'll need?"
Knowing it was no use to argue, Olivia simply nodded. Neither of them had noticed that Owen had used the more familiar nickname typically used by Elliot and others who were close to the brunette when he had spoken. As soon as realization dawned, an apology soon followed.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so personal."
"Don't worry about it Owen. A lot of my friends call me Liv, and we're most definitely friends. I don't mind at all."
Having grown warm in the kitchen, and already comfortable enough with Owen to the point that wearing short sleeves in his presence wasn't intimidating, Olivia shred her borrowed hoodie and deposited in on the living room couch before returning to await her next instructions.
As it turned out, making the cake was easy, and Olivia was infinitely glad that Owen had chosen to use a box mix instead of having her make one from scratch – at least for today. He had been more than right in his guess that anything else would have been truly intimidating. But the task of simply adding the necessary ingredients to a pre-measured mix wasn't difficult at all, and by the time the oven had preheated, the cake was ready to go in.
While the cake was baking, Olivia took advantage of the opportunity to rest for a few minutes and study the next couple of recipes she would be preparing. Before heading back to the table to join her friend, she grabbed a couple bottles of water from the fridge, correctly guessing that Owen would likely be thirsty as well. Taking her seat, she reached for the tablet with one hand while passing over the extra bottle with her other.
"Thanks, Liv. What were you wanting to tackle next?"
"Well, if what I'm reading is correct, there won't be any great hurry until it gets a little closer to serving time. I did see that the recipe for the elote suggested that the flavor could be enhanced by using grilled corn. While I like the idea, I'm not sure how I feel about cooking at the grill outside. That's more Elliot's domain than mine."
Taking a drink of his water, Owen looked thoughtful for a moment before eventually speaking.
"I do have an idea. If you're not comfortable using the grill outdoors, we can simply put a grill pan on the stove top and cook the corn that way. But if you're wanting to learn, I'd be happy to help, and I'm sure Elliot wouldn't mind."
"Oh, I know he wouldn't. Sometimes it just seems like I'm just getting the hang of things with all the appliances in the kitchen. I don't want to push my luck. Before I came here, my idea of cooking was reheating leftover takeout in the microwave at my apartment."
With those words said, Olivia ultimately decided that she would like to learn to use the outdoor grill. Thankfully, she still had a bit of a reprieve, as the rest of the dishes didn't need to be prepared at any time in the immediate future. For the time being, the cake was just about ready to come out of the oven and would need to cool. As the freshly baked good rested, Owen would talk her through preparing the milk mixture that would be poured over the top. Judging by the recipe, it didn't seem like an overly complicated process, and was fairly self-explanatory. For the most part, she just needed to combine whole milk, a can of sweetened condensed milk, and a can of evaporated milk together.
Using a wooden skewer, Olivia poked a series of holes at regular intervals throughout the top of the cake, and then poured the milk mixture over the top to allow it to soak through. Knowing there was nothing more she could do for the dessert until it had been allowed to set, Olivia moved it to a spare shelf in the fridge. Just prior to serving, she would be able to make the sweetened whipped cream to top the cake, as well as slice the fresh strawberries.
Once again, there wasn't much to do in the way of cooking, so Olivia took advantage of the opportunity to study the recipes for the side dishes Owen would be coaching her through once the other men returned. She was starting to feel more assured with herself in terms of using the grill, and the queso seemed simple enough to execute. In the meantime, she was grateful to have another breather. Ever sensitive to his friend and the still somewhat delicate atmosphere given the days that had only just recently elapsed, Owen was careful in choosing a topic of conversation. However, he couldn't help but notice the way Olivia was favoring her wrist.
"If you don't mind me asking, Liv, are you all right? I know that is a loaded question, and I'm not talking about a general sense, I mean physically. I couldn't help but notice that you seem to be in pain."
"Yeah, I was hoping you wouldn't notice, but I suppose I should know better. Elliot was wanting me to mention it to you anyway. I don't think it's a big deal, but yesterday when he and I were sparring, I got distracted. A bad punch landed the wrong way against the side of his protective helmet, and I tweaked my wrist."
Understanding inherently the types of memories an injury like that would have evoked, Owen's heart was filled with empathy and compassion. At the same time, he also knew immediately why Olivia had been unable to seek any form of treatment before now. At first glance, there didn't seem to be any obvious deformity to the joint – or even any bruising – but that didn't mean that a slight sprain couldn't still be present.
"Would you mind if I had a look? I know I'm not a doctor, but at least I'll be able to tell you if I think you need an x-ray or not."
"As long as it's not too much trouble. The pain isn't even as bad as it was when it first happened. I've taken liquid Tylenol for it, and have put ice packs on it as well."
After she spoke, Olivia held out her arm for Owen to examine. Even though she hadn't had any doubts whatsoever, it was still a relief to find that his touch was incredibly gentle. Typically the only physical contact she was accustomed to came from Elliot, and even though she logically knew this man intended her no harm, it was difficult to wrap her head around the fact that another person was putting their hands on her.
"Nothing seems to be broken, but then again, I never believed there was a fracture based on what you'd told me. I do however, think you have a slight sprain. It's not necessary, but if you feel you would benefit from some extra support, you can try wrapping your wrist in a neoprene brace for a few days until the pain subsides. Also, I know you prefer Tylenol as a method of pain relief, but you might be better served by taking ibuprofen, as that has anti-inflammatory qualities."
Wanting to do whatever she could to help alleviate her pain, but not willing to risk triggering herself, Olivia asked a question. Ordinarily voicing something like this would fill her with shame, but with Owen, she had no such issue.
"Does it happen to come in liquid form? I have trouble taking pills – especially right now."
A brief flash of concern flashed over her friend's face. This was obviously a factor that he hadn't considered. Almost immediately it was replaced by something that could only be described as a wave of inspiration.
"Unfortunately, ibuprofen only comes in liquid form for children and infants. However, they do make anti-inflammatory pain relief creams that should be able to work for you. Since the injury you are dealing with is in the soft tissue and not the bone, you should be able to use one of those with no problem at all."
Not wanting to wait a moment longer, even if it made her feel a bit like a nuisance, Olivia typed out a message to Elliot, asking him to please pick up a package of the recommended product on his way back from the gym. The fact that he so readily agreed was not a surprise, but the immediate response was more shocking. Apparently he had just finished his workout, and had just checked his phone in the locker at the gym before taking a quick shower.
"Elliot's going to get me some. He should be back before long, actually. What do you think the odds are we'll be able to put him to work, too?"
Knowing exactly what she was trying to do, Owen didn't bother trying to hide his grin.
"Don't think you're getting out of using the grill today, Olivia. If you want, we can put Elliot to work shredding the cheeses to be used for the queso."
"He really has you convinced I can't use the box grater, doesn't he? I swear, I only scraped my knuckles once."
Laughing now, Owen took a drink of his water before responding.
"It's one of the most common kitchen injuries."
With that said, Olivia then decided to use what precious little time remained before her partner returned to ice her wrist. The more she thought about it, relinquishing the shredding duties didn't sound like such a bad idea after all.
Owen and Olivia were still sitting at the table, in the middle of conversation when Elliot returned a short time later. Just prior to her partner coming through the door, the brunette had also received a message from Fin, letting her know that he and John were going to be heading back as well. Apparently her friends had kept their promise to return to the cottage with full appetites, as Fin was trying to fish for clues regarding what sort of lunch awaited them. Laughing to herself, Olivia typed back a reply, telling him he would just have to wait and see.
After depositing his gym duffel over by the couch, Elliot came into the kitchen, with a plastic bag bearing the logo of the local pharmacy in hand. Taking the seat next to his partner, he pulled out his purchases, revealing that he had bought more than what Olivia had specifically asked for.
"Here you go, Liv. I got you the topical pain relief that you asked for, and I also picked up an adjustable neoprene brace."
"Thanks, El. Will you help me put them on? Also, you're just in time to be put to work."
"Of course, and I figured as much. Just tell me what you need me to do."
After the pain relief had been added – to which Olivia was glad to see that her partner had chosen a package with a built in applicator for a mess free process – Elliot helped situate the brace so that it offered adequate support without being too restrictive. As much as it was a blow to her pride to admit it, Olivia had to acknowledge how the items both went a long way in making her feel more comfortable.
"Go put your things away, El. When you come back, if you wouldn't mind shredding some cheese. Owen is determined to teach me how to use the grill today."
"I like the sound of that. And, happy to help. Do I get to learn what it is you're making, or is it a surprise?"
"I promise I'll fill you in, but only if you don't tell Fin. If you do, I'll never hear the end of it."
With a grin, Elliot promised, if only to get one over on his friend. Then he retraced his steps back to the living room to retrieve his gym bag, and headed up the stairs. Their extensive break now over, Olivia and Owen started the work on shucking the ears of corn. The other man mentioned it was possible to grill them while they were still in the husk, but it would be easier if the cobs were bare. The duo also elected to tackle that particular part of their project outside on the patio, to reduce the mess that would be made.
When Elliot made his way back to the kitchen, he could see Olivia and Owen outside. He also found the box grater and two blocks of cheese waiting for him on the center island, so he was easily able to deduce what needed done and was about to get to work. However, before he could get started, his nose led him on a slight detour, and he walked over to the counter where the crock pot was waiting. Without removing the lid, he peered curiously through the glass dome, trying to figure out what was cooking in the vessel below. Whatever it was, it smelled absolutely amazing, as did whatever dessert that must have been baked at some point. The aroma of vanilla and sugar lingered in the air, and Elliot couldn't wait to discover just what had kept his partner so busy all morning.
Going back to the task at hand, Elliot prepared to start shredding, wondering just what recipe would be made that would require the use of not just one, but two cheeses. His partner and their neighbor had indeed kept their mission a mystery, as there were no indications anywhere as to what they were preparing.
He had just about finished with his assigned duty when Olivia and Owen came back inside, the smell of freshly grilled corn emanating from the tray in the other man's hands. Seeing the look of confidence and success on his partner's face, Elliot couldn't resist the opportunity to tease her just a little.
"How did it go? Do we still have a backyard?"
With a grin, Owen jumped right in on the tail end of the comment.
"I was standing by with the fire extinguisher the whole time. It was never at risk."
Brandishing a pot holder – not the world's most threatening weapon, but it was all she had at her disposal at the moment - Olivia raised it above her shoulder as she glared equally at both men.
"Watch it you, two. Or else, I'll make sure that neither of you get to eat, and all of the food will be for myself, Fin, and John."
As though she had wished them into existence, the aforementioned duo appeared almost as soon as Olivia had spoken their names, having no clue whatsoever what they had just walked into. However, John's many years as a detective – both in Baltimore Homicide and Manhattan SVU, as well as Fin's continued work on the force allowed them to easily read the situation. The elder of the two commented to his friend, but easily spoke loudly enough for all to hear.
"So, do you think we should leave before we're noticed, or should we attempt to intervene and deescalate?"
"If you want to get between Olivia and Elliot while she has that look on her face, be my guest, but I'm not about to do that. I value my life."
It wasn't long before everyone involved dissolved into laughter, and it made for even easier introductions between John and Owen as well. For all of his suspicions, he would always think highly of any man who went out of their way to care for Olivia, and the fact that this neighbor was also a friend of Don Cragen was another point in his favor. Within minutes, everyone was getting along as though they had known one another for years. Eventually, Olivia broke the easy camaraderie, remembering that she still had some things to do.
"There are still a couple more things for me to toss together, but neither of them will take long. In fact, if anyone wants to help – yes Elliot, I'm looking at you – I'll gladly take it. I'm happy to do the actual cooking, but I can always use a sous chef and have someone take over the work of the chopping."
"Just tell me what to do, Liv."
In a very short time, as everyone had pitched in to make the final touches come together quickly, the small group was sitting down to the table. It was no secret that Fin was already used to what Olivia and Elliot could create together, but seeing his friend cook was something of a new experience for John, and he was very impressed. The layered crock pot enchilada style dish had turned out to be quite the success, and as for the accompanying side dishes, even picky eater Fin was happy with both the queso and the elote. Naturally, Elliot never wasted an opportunity to tell his partner how proud he was of her, a compliment that always prompted a slight flush in Olivia's cheeks.
"Thanks again for today, Owen. It was great getting back to the cooking lessons, and you did a great job picking recipes that weren't too overwhelming. I look forward to finding more uses for the crock pot, too."
"You're very welcome. Don't forget, as soon as we're all not completely stuffed, we still have your dessert to try, too."
Even though they both had already eaten two helpings apiece, Elliot and Fin showed increased interest the moment Owen mentioned that there was a dessert available. Then there was John, who while he had not consumed as much as his counterparts, had still filled his plate considerably. He, too, perked up and turned his attention to Olivia, and was the first to inquire what else awaited them after their meal.
"Do my ears deceive me? Olivia Benson baked a dessert? I certainly can't miss out on an opportunity like this one."
"Don't worry John, there is plenty. While I can't take full credit – I did use a box mix, I'm hoping the recipe Owen helped me with turned out okay."
Everyone assured Olivia that it would, and Elliot took advantage of the moment to bring up the fact that he had smelled something sweet had been baked when he had returned earlier.
"Did you need any help getting things sorted, Liv? There are plenty of us here you can put to work."
"Speak for yourself, Stabler."
To punctuate his statement, Fin threw his balled up napkin at Elliot, hitting him squarely in the face. Olivia knew her friend was only kidding, but laughed at the antics unfolding before her nonetheless.
"In answer to your question, El, yes I would definitely appreciate some help. If you wouldn't mind slicing some strawberries, then I can follow the last steps of the recipe to make the sweetened whipped cream to top the cake."
Before Elliot could agree, it was John who stood up, clearly intent on offering his assistance as well.
"While the two of you are doing that, allow me to earn my keep by cleaning up. Fin, would you care to join me, or are still wanting to cause trouble?"
"Hey, I can multitask."
That comment brought about another round of laughter from everyone, in particular Owen, was obviously enjoying the dynamic between the four friends. Already accustomed to the banter between Olivia and Elliot, it was heartwarming to see that a similar closeness was also shared among the rest of the members of the squad. Given their line of work, it was easy to understand why they were more like family than your ordinary coworkers. Owen had experienced much the same with the men and women he had been in the military with, and likewise at the VA hospital where he spent time as a peer counselor. He even shared a bond with the first responders he volunteered his time with.
Olivia took the chilled cake out of the fridge, satisfied to see that the milk mixture she had poured over earlier had been absorbed into the sponge completely. She also removed an empty bowl she had placed in to get cold, on Owen's suggestion. Apparently it would help with the whipping of the heavy cream to have both the bowl and the liquid be the same temperature. Easily convinced, Olivia had followed the instructions to the letter.
Keeping in theme with the other recipes she had made that day, the final one was as easy as its predecessors had been. Heavy cream, confectioners sugar, and vanilla extract came together to make for a simple whipped cream that would top the tres leches cake. By the time Olivia had finished spreading an even layer, Elliot was done slicing the strawberries. Everyone was served a generous slice topped with the fresh fruit. It wasn't long before the brunette was met with rave reviews. Her partner was the first to offer a compliment.
"Liv, this tastes amazing!"
"Thank you. You'll have to remember to give Owen some accolades, too, I couldn't have done it with his help."
Not willing to accept any praise, Owen held up both hands.
"Nonsense. I just found the recipe and helped you execute the steps. You did all the work. Next time, I'll have you make one from scratch."
"Deal."
Fin and John also had something positive to say, but it was a bit hard to interpret, as both were speaking around mouthfuls of dessert. Neither were known to have a particular fondness for sweets, so that spoke volumes in and of itself that they were devouring the cake so heartily.
Not long after the second round of empty plates had been cleared, and what few leftovers were put away, Owen made his excuses to leave. No matter how much he had been assured that he hadn't worn out his welcome, the other man wanted to leave the four friends with plenty of additional time to visit with one another, knowing that both Fin and John planned to head back to the city within the next day or two. However, his farewell was also backed by a promise to return, most likely after he had completely his next round of double shifts that awaited. Olivia saw her friend to the door, insistent upon extending her thanks, no matter how often she'd been told they weren't necessary. When she returned to the kitchen, Elliot and Fin had clearly taken cleanup duties upon themselves. John on the other hand, apparently had other plans in mind.
"So, Liv, would you care to keep an old man company for awhile?"
"I'd love to."
Considering the fact that Olivia was craving some fresh air, and that neither she nor John were willing to chase the others away, the two of them had mutually agreed to spend some time alone together out on the patio. Not daring to argue, both Fin and Elliot offered their encouragement, continuing to insist that cleanup duties were well in hand.
Still full from the ample lunch they had just consumed, Olivia had seen no need to bring anything outside with her other than her ever present bottle of water. Taking a seat on one corner of the sofa on the porch, she brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. It was somewhat of a protective posture, but there was something about John's body language that was making her hesitant. It wasn't that she was fearful of the other man – nothing would ever make that possible - however, she was a bit apprehensive about whatever topic of conversation might be brought up. Likewise, John seemed to be acting a bit of of character as well, his usual stoic appearance and sardonic wit having abandoned him to reveal a deeper emotion at heart.
"First things first, Olivia, I want to thank you for letting me stay, and also for lunch. All earlier joking aside, I'm so glad you've found the outlet of cooking beneficial as something that can help you."
"You are always welcome, John, no matter where I call home. I hope you know that."
A pained look crossed John's features, and again, he appeared to be struggling.
"I also owe you an apology. I should have been here long before now. I know there is no excuse for it, but I was being a coward."
Unfolding herself from her prior position, Olivia moved closer to enfold her friend in an embrace.
"Whatever do you mean? I've never once felt like you were ignoring me. You've always shown me your support."
Not allowing himself to accept the comfort that Olivia was attempting to offer, John Munch continued with his self deprecating track. But there was a much deeper explanation at play, and hearing the reasons behind his having kept his distance, tugged at all the strings of Olivia's heart.
"I kept my distance because I was afraid. At a time when you needed me by your side the most, I was too terrified of history repeating itself."
A moment or two passed before the penny dropped, and realization dawned. John was referring to what had happened with his father when he was younger – and his ultimate fear that Olivia might have been so distraught after her own trauma that she would have taken her own life. Couple that with the knowledge of the game of Russian Roulette that William Lewis had forced her hand to play in the final tense minutes in that granary in order to spare Amelia's life, and Olivia could clearly understand why her friend was so distraught.
"John, it's not your fault, and I don't blame you. I never once considered you to not be a part of my support system. You will always be someone I can count on. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you I haven't had some dark days during the course of my recovery, especially at the beginning when I first got here to Cape May. However, I can assure you that my will to live has never been stronger."
Wiping away a stray tear, John attempted to reign in his emotions.
"I'm glad to hear that."
"William Lewis already has more power over my life than I'd like him to have. It's an ongoing work in progress. I'll be damned if I'm going to give him any more. He may be a part of my memories, but I'm in control of my recovery and my healing. My goal is to put him firmly in the past and keep him there."
Wrapping an arm around the woman sitting next to him, a more physical gesture than he was accustomed to, John tried to speak over the lump in his throat. When he did find his voice, it was tinged with equal parts of emotion and pride.
"I know you'll succeed. And from here on out, I want to be a more active part of your support system. So, if you ever need anything, feel free to call me – any time of the day or night. Even if its just that Elliot is driving you nuts from hovering too much."
Laughing, because her friend had just accurately described her partner's attentiveness in a nutshell, Olivia leaned her head against John's shoulder.
"I just may take you up on that."
As the two worked to compose themselves, silence reigned for several minutes. Eventually, the elder of the two broke the quiet by asking a question. It was an attempt to not only change the subject and continue the conversation, but also satisfy his curiosity.
"So, if you don't mind my asking, what made you take such an interest in cooking? Which if I may say, you are quite good at. Lunch was absolutely delicious."
"Thank you. It started small, actually, as a way for Elliot to increase my interest in food at a time when my appetite wasn't exactly cooperating. He had figured that by taking a more active role in meal preparations, it might help not only make me more inspired to eat, but also serve as a distraction."
John nodded, for once keeping his opinions to himself. Olivia had been anticipating a sarcastic but well intentioned comment about Elliot finally having a good idea for once. Fin had even said something similar when he, too, had learned about her newfound cooking skills. When her companion was otherwise silent, she continued.
"Eventually, Owen chimed in. He's become a great friend, and he mentioned that in addition to serving in the military as an medic, his original passion was for cooking. He offered to start giving me cooking lessons, beyond what Elliot and I were already doing with preparing meals together. It's been a very therapeutic experience. In particular the day he had me bake bread from scratch."
Already aware as to what had preceded those events, John didn't need to inquire for additional details. Olivia didn't yet know this, and perhaps there wouldn't be the right time to tell her, but he had played his own role. His post retirement career as special investigator for the DA's office had allowed him the opportunity to help in his own way when finding the necessary evidence to ensure that Bronwyn would be punished for the havoc that she had caused. But it wasn't credit or thanks that he had been after, only to ensure Olivia's peace of mind.
"I can imagine. I've never tried it myself, but I've heard that punching the dough can be beneficial."
With a teasing grin breaking out over his face, John looked at the woman sitting beside him.
"Do you know what else I've heard can help? Beating the shit out of your partner."
Flushing slightly, Olivia lightly swatted at her friend with the hand that currently didn't have a wrist enveloped in a soft brace.
"Hush. I'll have you know Elliot offered to be my punching bag. Although, between you and me, that has also been a lot of fun. In all seriousness, though. I could never let myself go like that with someone I didn't trust as much as him."
"I know, Liv. I know. And I'm sure you know that Elliot would happily let you beat him black and blue as many times as you wanted if he thought it would help."
Unable to form words, Olivia was only able to nod her understanding. Before she could say anything else, a gentle rain started to fall. Even though the part of the patio they were on was covered, she was more concerned for John than she was for herself, although it appeared he was equally worried about her. When it was suggested they move back into the cottage, they spoke in unison.
"Why don't we head back inside?"
Laughing, Olivia accepted the offer of John's outstretched hand and allowed her friend to help her to her feet. Together, they headed back indoors, knowing they would find a clean kitchen, and with the weight on both of their shoulders and in their hearts considerably lighter than before.
While John ducked into the powder room, it was Olivia who found her partner and Fin together in the living room. The television was on in the background, however it was evident that neither man was paying attention to what was showing on the screen. Instead, they were engaged in conversation. Elliot appeared to be talking rather animatedly about his adventures that morning at the gym, and a particularly amusing encounter he had had with another individual who had apparently seen fit to challenge him when this person had incorrectly assumed Elliot was hogging the equipment. They'd then had an additional run in a short while later when Elliot had caught the man offering unsolicited advice to a disinterested woman who was just trying to enjoy her workout in peace. Although she had missed the majority of the story, Olivia had caught the tail end, including the part where management had intervened, and the troublemaker was ordered to never return. From the additional details Elliot was able to suss out, this hadn't been the first set of complaints brought against the man, and he was on his last strike.
"Sounds like you had an exciting morning."
At the sound of the familiar voice, Elliot looked up. The smile that overtook his face when he saw his partner did not go unnoticed by fin, but wisely the other man remained silent on the subject.
"Hey, Liv. Did you and John have a good talk outside?"
"We did. We probably would have stayed out a bit longer, but it started to rain. Even with the minimal cover, we decided it would be a good idea to come inside."
Nodding his understanding, Elliot gently patted the spot beside him on the couch, wordlessly inviting Olivia to come and sit. She gladly accepted, curling up against him as she often did. Not long after she had gotten herself situated, John joined the small group as well.
"So, are there any plans? Not that there need to be...I was just wondering how we might pass the time. We don't have to make any decisions right now, but if no one else objects, I wouldn't be opposed to another round of cards later – only as long as I don't lose again."
Not skipping a beat, Olivia was quick to fire back a reply.
"You know I'll kick all your asses again, so just be prepared to lose."
Laughter ensued following the comment, and it was only after it had died down that Elliot reached for an envelope on the side table. Apparently he had picked up the mail at some point, and something had arrived for Olivia. She had arranged to have everything forwarded to her temporary address, but up until recently, hadn't really been receiving much in the way of correspondence.
"This came for you today, Liv. I would have given it to you earlier, but you and John were still outside."
"That's fine, El."
There was no mistaking the slight look of concern on her partner's face, which only served to ramp up the brunette's level of curiosity – along with just a hint of panic. After what had happened only recently with Bronwyn's interference, Olivia couldn't help but wonder if this was the moment when the other shoe would finally drop. But once logic took over and she allowed herself to think more coherently, she realized that if the contents of that particular envelope contained any sort of threat, Elliot never would have let her read it. However, nothing could have prepared her to see the return address in the corner.
"It's from my brother."
Having been part of the case in question when Simon had reentered her life, John and Fin were well aware of exactly why Olivia's brother had been radio silent. Though it had taken her some time to tell the story, Elliot, too, had also been filled in. It was the last person Olivia would have ever expected to hear from, but all the same she still felt that same longing for a connection with the last bit of blood family that she had left in the world.
"Did you want some privacy, Liv?"
Realizing that she had jumped involuntarily at the sound of her partner's voice, Olivia once again cursed her still-too-active startle response. It was also the moment she became aware that she had yet to open the letter, and was merely clinging tightly to the envelope, as though all the answers to the world's greatest problems were contained within.
"No. You can stay. All of you can stay."
With her heart beating somewhat anxiously in her chest, Olivia slipped her nail underneath the flap of the envelope and eased it open. Trying to will her hands to stop shaking, she unfolded the pages that had been stuffed inside and began to read.
Olivia,
I know, if ever there were a candidate for worst brother ever, I'd probably win the prize. I never did thank you enough after the way I upended your life the last time I blew into town, and all the trouble I found myself in. Looking back, I realize it was incredibly cowardly of me to run away the way that I did, but after everything that had happened, and losing the ability to see my kids any time that I wanted without supervision, I knew I needed to get my act together.
You're probably not going to believe this, as I scarcely believed it myself the first few months when I first started, but one of the reasons I was out of touch for so long was because I had found a job working at an offshore oil rig off the gulf of Mexico. It wasn't meant to be a permanent career, but rather a position to last long enough to help pass the time until my probation had passed.
As a result, contact with the outside world was very limited. I didn't even know what had happened to you until I got back to the city last week. I know that no amount of apologies can make up for the fact that I wasn't here at a time when you needed a strong support system around you the most, but I do hope you believe me when I tell you I am truly sorry for what you had to endure. I can only hope that your friends and the family you've built for yourself were there for you when I wasn't.
Another reason I was writing is to let you know that Bayard Ellis contacted me about revisiting my case. My probation has been lifted, and I'm allowed to see my kids again. I don't think Tracey and I will ever get back what we once had, but I'm trying very hard to rebuild the bond with both Ty and little Olivia – who isn't so little anymore.
I don't know if it would be something you'd be interested in, and I want to reassure you that I would completely understand if you would choose not to reach out. However, I'm including my new number and contact information. I've learned a lot about myself in the last two years, and I'd like to hope I'm a better person for it. As I work to improve the relationships with the people whom I care about the most, I'd love to reconnect with my big sister. But only if that is something you want, too. No pressure.
I hope this letter finds you well, and that as you continue to heal, you find peace. Know that no matter what happens, I will always be grateful that you found me.
Love,
Simon.
As Olivia finished reading, she refolded the letter and carefully tucked it back inside it's envelope. Brushing away a stray tear, she turned into the protective shelter of her partner's embrace, knowing that neither Elliot nor the other two men sitting in the living room with her would pressure her to reveal any of the details of what her brother had disclosed to her. Instead, all three were providing a silent support system, a quiet solidarity, and no matter the tumultuous emotions that threatened to send her somewhat fragile system tumbling over the edge, Olivia felt nothing but safe.
It took several minutes before Olivia felt comfortable enough to break the silence by finding her voice. Simon's letter had left her shaken, but not distraught. If anything, she was relieved that her brother had found a sense of peace. Yes, it had hurt when he had previously cut off all contact, but after reading the explanation behind it, she couldn't fault him for his reasons. Still, she was also at a point in her own recovery where she didn't know if reaching out would be a benefit or a detriment. All the same, it didn't seem right to ignore him completely. But, she didn't have to make any immediate decisions. To no surprise, the last bit of advice Olivia heard echoing inside her mind sounded remarkably as though it had been spoken by Elliot himself, and she didn't doubt that her partner would easily echo the sentiment if given the chance to offer his input. With every intention to share the correspondence later, her goal now was to enjoy what little time remained with Fin and John before they left to head back to the city.
"I don't know about the rest of you, but I could certainly use a dose of mindless entertainment. How does watching a movie or TV show sound?"
Whether it was because they were all eager to please, or merely of the same opinion, everyone was quick to agree with what Olivia had suggested. Sensitive to their friend's somewhat limited attention span, it was eventually decided upon to continue watching a series as opposed to feature film. With shorter episodes to follow, it would be easier to pace themselves and pick up or leave off wherever they chose. Likewise, if anyone needed a break for any reason, it was a lot easier to pause a forty-five minute program.
With everyone still full from the midday meal and dessert that Olivia had prepared with Owen's help, no one was in need of any snacks. However, Elliot knew his partner well, and had a feeling that she would at least want a bottle of water. At first he was reluctant to move, especially given the way Olivia was snuggled so closely against him, but thankfully Fin was already on his way to the kitchen to get a drink refill for himself. He was more than happy to help.
Once Fin returned and the program started, it turned out that the distraction helped more than just Olivia. In addition, just as no one had commented on the sleeping arrangements the night before, nothing was said about the proximity between the former partners. While under any other circumstance, both Fin and John would have gladly jumped at the opportunity to tease both Olivia and Elliot about the changing dynamics in their relationship, it went without saying that the developments that had been taking place had been healing for each of them. The newfound energy that existed now spoke of a much deeper bond than they had previously shared, and while not necessarily sexual in nature, was certainly the most intimate connection either had ever experienced with another person. That was not something that neither Fin nor John wanted to poke fun at.
As the afternoon waned on, the group of friends almost lost count of the number of episodes that they had been watching. It wasn't out of boredom, but rather that they had been so enraptured and captivated, that none of them were aware of the passing of time. At least, not until the sound of a low rumbling could be heard, and all heads turned to look at Olivia, who buried her head against Elliot's shoulder in an effort to hide her embarrassment. With a chuckle low in his throat, Elliot pressed his lips against his partner's temple, before ultimately breaking the silence.
"I guess we should probably think about dinner. It's been awhile since we've last eaten."
Relieved for her partner's diplomatic take on things, Olivia was quick to agree. However, despite her stomach's rather dramatic way of having announced itself, she wasn't actually feeling that hungry. It was likely a result of the large meal they had all eaten earlier. Not wanting to raise any concern, she merely suggested that dinner be a simple affair. Before she had a chance to offer with preparations, she was beaten to it.
"Since you did such an excellent job with that amazing lunch, Liv, why don't you let me handle dinner? I like your idea of something simple, so I was thinking of making something light, like wraps or even a pasta salad. How does that sound?"
"Either would be fine. Are you sure you don't need any help?"
It was at that moment that Fin and John stood simultaneously, announcing that if any help was needed in the kitchen, they would be happy to offer their assistance. While Olivia was welcome to join and be present for the sake of providing company alone, she was to take a rest from culinary duties for the time being. In the hopes that she might be able to persuade her partner to assign her some small task, Olivia followed along, determined to help in some way. She was not one for sitting idle, and while she appreciated the care her friends were wanting to offer, she also wanted to feel useful.
After a small debate, the group collectively decided to make a pasta salad for their evening meal. It took a few minutes of browsing the list of saved recipes on Elliot's tablet, but eventually Olivia found one that appealed to her the most. She had to hide her amusement at the scowl of displeasure that Fin only barely managed to conceal when he learned that what Olivia had chosen contained a large amount of fresh vegetables. Struck by a sudden wave of inspiration, it was then that the brunette had the idea that they should make both of Elliot's suggested menu choices.
"There is plenty of extra rotisserie chicken left from the enchilada dish I made in the crock pot, El. We can use that for the wraps. Plus we have all the fresh veggies from the last time we went to the farmer's market. Neither would take a long time to prepare, and that way, poor Fin wouldn't have to suffer."
While clearly appreciative, it was obvious that Fin didn't want anyone to inconvenience themselves for his sake.
"Don't worry about me, Liv."
"I'm not. I'm worried about me. I'll never hear the end of it if you have to eat vegetables. I realize a wrap is probably a bit out of your comfort zone, too, but likely a bit of a better choice."
"You know me too well."
Whether it was her subtle way of introducing herself into the plans, or if they had merely realized it was futile to argue with her any further, Olivia was indeed able to arrange for a job for herself at the kitchen island. Elliot had put a pot of water on to boil for the pasta, and then joined her, where they worked in tandem chopping vegetables to be used in their entree salad. Over at the table, John was shredding the leftover chicken while Fin was dicing some tomatoes. With everyone working together, their duo of meals was ready in practically no time at all.
Deciding to take advantage of the mild weather – and the fact that the earlier rain had stopped and given way to sunny skies – everyone agreed that it would be a great idea to dine outdoors. After serving themselves their own plates, and grabbing drinks from the fridge, the foursome headed out to the patio. As they ate, the conversation shifted to one of reminiscence, and favorite memories of the times when they had all worked together. Much laughter and teasing ensued as a result, and the mood was lighthearted and exactly what Olivia needed. It was only when they had all finished eating and were sitting around that the atmosphere shifted slightly, and she braced herself for a sadness and disappointment that she knew was coming. Before Fin could speak, she said the words first.
"You and John are leaving tomorrow, aren't you?"
It had hurt more to admit than she had thought it would. While Olivia had known her friends couldn't stay indefinitely – Fin did have to get back to work at SVU – having them both here had been incredibly healing. Not that it in any way diminished Elliot's presence or the tremendous help her partner had been, but just having the reassurance of how big her support group actually was had meant the world to her.
"It's not because we want to, Liv. But it's not forever. We'll both be back, I promise."
Olivia loved that neither Fin nor John made mention of her going back to Manhattan yet. They both knew she wasn't ready yet, no matter how far she had already come. But knowing that tomorrow's goodbye would only be temporary softened the blow of the upcoming departure.
"At least let Elliot and I make you breakfast before you leave."
John and Fin exchanged a glance and broad grins, before the former answered.
"There is no way we could say no to that."
After dinner, cleanup was a group effort. Then, in an attempt to make an earlier promise come to fruition, the four friends gathered around the table for a rematch of the poker game they had played when John had first arrived. Much in the same way, the stakes were minimal, using candies as the bidding method, but that did not in any way lessen the amount of teasing and trash talk that took place. In the end, Olivia's prediction came true as she was again proven to be the winner.
Following Olivia's victory, and despite the fact that although it was somewhat later in the evening, no one was ready to call it a night. Instead, everyone agreed that moving their impromptu party of sorts into the living room and watching a movie together sounded like the best idea ever. It seemed that with John and Fin's impending departure the following morning, everyone was avoiding the looming farewell that awaited them. Instead, Elliot made a fresh batch of popcorn so they would have something to snack on. With little to no argument, it was mutually decided upon that a comedy would be the best choice for something to watch. However, it was evident they also wanted a movie they could criticize and pick apart, thus why they chose one that was police themed.
Before long, a debate ensued, with Olivia and Elliot arguing about inaccuracies with interrogation techniques, to Fin and John pointing out that the Benson-Stabler team had been just as much of a headache for Don as the fictional duo on screen was for their Captain.
Forever a man willing to defend his partner at all costs, Elliot's voice unintentionally rose as he leapt to protect Olivia's honor – even if nothing was really at stake.
"We weren't that bad."
Resting a gentle hand on his forearm, Olivia looked at Elliot with a hint of amusement in her expression as she arched her eyebrow.
"El, we had to undergo a psych eval – which we both walked out of when the questions got too personal."
"You're right. I don't know how Cap put up with for so long."
With an impish grin, Olivia glanced at Elliot first, before directing her attention to the two men sitting across the room.
"Because we were his favorites."
"Hey!"
The indignant outburst was heard in unison from both Fin and John, which wasn't surprising. What Olivia hadn't expected was the piece of popcorn that came flying in her direction, nor for the friendly bickering to turn into an all out food fight. As popcorn was launched back and forth across the room, the movie was forgotten entirely, and it wasn't until all the bowls were empty and everyone was out of breath that a truce was finally called. After several minutes, Fin got to his feet and brushed himself off.
"Okay, I think we can safely say that we're done watching for tonight. Although I'm not going to lie, that was fun. Don't worry, Liv, John and I will take care of cleanup. It's the least we can do."
"Why are you volunteering me? You started it."
More laughter followed, in particular because everyone knew that John was only kidding, and truthfully had no objections to helping. In reality, they hadn't missed much, because it was a movie they were all familiar with and had seen before, plus they had managed to see most of it. However, Fin was right. It was a lot later than it had been, and everyone was well aware of Olivia's nighttime routine that she used to help herself unwind before bed. After giving both men a hug before they started on their mission to pick up all the pieces of popcorn that littered the living room floor, Olivia headed for the stairs, with Elliot's voice echoing behind her.
"Were you wanting some privacy for awhile, Liv, or would you like some company?"
"Some company would be great."
Olivia loved the subtle way her partner had phrased the question, even though she knew that even if the others had been aware that she and Elliot were going to share a bath, no judgment would be cast in their direction. Just as no comments had been made about their growing closeness or the fact that they were sharing a bed.
"I'll join you in a few minutes. Did you want your tea now, or would you prefer to wait until a bit later?"
"I'll wait. Take your time coming up, I know you still have a few things to take care of down here."
Elliot watched for a few moments as Olivia continued on her way to the second level, then began his own nightly chores. After making sure the doors were securely locked, he pre-measured the coffee for the following morning, so that whomever woke up first would only need to press a button to start the brewing process. Then, in an effort to save a few minutes, he added some water to the electric kettle and got it set up, so that by the time his partner was ready for her nightly tea, there wouldn't be much left for him to do.
With a final goodnight to Fin and John – who had finally picked up the last of the popcorn from the living room carpet – Elliot made his way to join Olivia in the master bedroom. He still didn't know for certain whether or not she would want him to share her bath tonight, but what he was aware of was that she had requested his company. That was one thing he could never deny.
When he got upstairs, he was spared the dilemma of whether or not he should knock before entering as the bedroom door was already open. Even though he was practically staying here on a permanent basis, Elliot still was determined to give Olivia the utmost in respect when it came to her privacy and personal space. It didn't matter that she had all but given him express permission, he didn't want her to feel pressured for anything she wasn't ready for.
Finding his partner sitting on the edge of the mattress with a far-off expression on her face, Elliot was immediately concerned. While Olivia didn't seem distressed in any way, there was something about her body language that read her mood was reflective, and perhaps even a bit melancholy. He wanted to tread lightly so as to not increase whatever emotions were lingering beneath the surface while still making sure there wasn't anything she needed to talk about.
"You okay, Liv?"
"Yeah, I think so. Just a lot to process. Between you and me, Fin and John going back to the city tomorrow is hitting me harder than I had expected."
Accepting the unspoken invitation to come closer, Elliot took a seat next to his partner on the bed, and wrapped a supportive arm around her shoulders. He had a fairly good guess at exactly what was running through her mind, and he hoped she wouldn't be upset by him voicing it out loud.
"Because you know you're not ready to go back yet, and a part of you is almost envious that they get the opportunity?"
Olivia turned her head so sharply to look at Elliot he was amazed that an audible sound wasn't made a result of her efforts.
"You always did know me so well."
After allowing Olivia a few moments to her own thoughts, Elliot gently nudged her along. He wasn't trying to rush her, but knew how much keeping up with her usual routine mattered.
"Were you wanting a bath tonight, Liv?"
"Please. You don't mind joining me again, do you?"
"Of course not."
Just as she had been experiencing in recent days whenever she shared a bath with her partner, Olivia was feeling a sense of self doubt over the fact that she had to remain mostly clothed in a swimsuit to avoid showing the entirety of her body. However, she refrained from voicing those concerns aloud yet again, if only because she could already hear Elliot's reassurances in her head reminding her that she was under no obligation to bare her skin to him. He wasn't demanding it of her, and he certainly didn't expect it. Everything that happened between them was entirely on her terms, and she was one hundred percent in control of the pace in which the evolving relationship between them was progressing. However, for all her efforts to keep her innermost thoughts hidden, Elliot was able to read her loud and clear.
"Olivia, I can hear you thinking. This is supposed to be a time for you to unwind and relax, not stress. I don't want you to worry about it. If it made you comfortable, I'd gladly sit in here with you fully clothed."
"Logically, I know that. My brain may need you to keep reminding me though."
"Gladly. I'll tell you as often as you need to hear it."
Olivia knew she didn't need to admit to Elliot that the past few days had been an emotional whirlwind, that was something he was already aware of. Likewise, her partner had probably been able to intuit her conflicted emotions regarding Fin and John's departure the following morning. Thankfully, Elliot wasn't pushing her to talk – not that she had expected that of him. Ever since they'd reconnected, he'd always allowed her to open up at her own pace.
Following a leisurely soak, Olivia took her time with the rest of her before bed routine, knowing that once she was ready to crawl under the covers, Elliot would be there with a cup of her favorite hot tea. Now that the thoughts in her head had quieted some, she felt that she would finally be able to articulate some of them to her partner, because there was no way she'd be able to simply fall asleep with all the ongoing noise in her brain. It wasn't necessarily troubling, just far too loud for her liking. In particular the day's development with the letter that had arrived from her brother, and she needed to try and process some of it before calling it a night completely.
Dressed in what had become her bedtime 'uniform' - one of Elliot's tee shirts, and a pair of knit pants – Olivia again considered that with the warmer temperatures settling in, that she might have to reconsider what she wore at night and switch to something cooler. For now though, she was perfectly comfortable, and she quickly reprimanded herself before her mind ran off on yet another tangent. The idea now was to control her line of thinking, and purge the most the thoughts that were most troubling, not invite more in.
Olivia was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't even hear Elliot return, not until she recognized her partner's presence by the scent of his cologne. It was rare for his approach to startle her these days, she was that accustomed to him sharing a space her space. Even so, she could tell that Elliot was being extra cautious, mindful of her reflective state.
"You still up for some company, Liv?"
"With you? Always."
Settling himself in the bed beside his partner, Elliot mirrored Olivia's position. As he always did, he allowed her to guide the conversation, waiting patiently for whatever it was that was on the other woman's mind that she needed to talk about.
"So, as you might have already guessed, I've been thinking a lot about Simon's letter today. It was the last thing I was expecting, that's for certain. I had thought about telling you what he had said to me, and then I realized it would probably just be easier if you read it yourself."
"Are you sure, Olivia? If it's something private, I don't want to intrude."
"You never could. You're one of the few people who knows Simon as well as I do, and about our complicated relationship. I could really use your opinion to help me make sense of things, because I know no matter what you may think of him, you'll always be honest with me."
That was the truth. Even back in the day when Olivia had first learned of Simon's existence, Elliot had always shown his support. Not only did her partner know just how much finding a biological connection meant to her, but the deeper root of learning about her paternal history. No matter how much trouble they had found themselves in, he had never faltered. So, when Elliot found the letter that Olivia had read earlier being pressed into his hands, he didn't hesitate to open the pages and read. When he was done, he folded them back up again to replace them in their rightful place inside the envelope. Wrapping an arm around his partner, he pulled her close against his chest.
"Wow, Liv. That's a lot to take in. I guess I want to ask how you are processing it, if you even are able to answer that?"
"Thank you for recognizing how loaded that question is. It's taken me this long to wrap my head around the fact that Simon has been back in touch. I'm still not sure how I want to respond to him, but I am fairly certain I want to reach out. I don't think I'm ready to see him just yet, but as you saw, he's not pressuring me for that."
Elliot brushed his lips against Olivia's temple, a gesture meant to both soothe and reassure.
"Right. I think it would be enough for both of you to just acknowledge that you received his letter. It doesn't have to be a heavy conversation, not now, at least. Start small, and build your way up. I will say one thing – it sounds like he's gotten his life back on track."
"I noticed that, too. I'm happy for him. Now I guess it's my turn, or rather still is, although I suppose it could be said I'm still a work in progress."
Holding the woman in his arms more closely, Elliot wasn't about to let that comment slide by unnoticed.
"You are doing amazing, Olivia. I'm so proud of you. Maybe I don't tell you that enough, but I want you to know that the progress you have made is not something to be taken lightly."
"I hear you, El. I know you're right, it's just sometimes that little voice in my head tells me otherwise."
"Well, let me know whenever you need a reminder, and I'll be happy to give you a dose of the truth."
Nodding against her partner's chest, Olivia allowed a lone tear to fall. The release of emotion was a culmination of everything that had built up over the course of the day. Tomorrow would no doubt be bittersweet, but she reminded herself that it wasn't a forever goodbye that she would be exchanging with Fin and John, and that if anything, the past few days had proven that her connections with her friends were just as strong as they had ever been. She was surrounded by the support of friends and family – and that made her feel so incredibly blessed. Elliot would remain by her side as she continued on her healing journey, and if everything went in her favor, there would be far more good days ahead than bad ones.