Chapter 21
Elizabeth arrived late and very tired at Longbourn, so she ate in her room and slept soundly through the night. She spent so sleepless nights thinking about William that she was too exhausted to speak with her family. She even slept longer than usual, so much so that she could not take her regular morning walk before breakfast.
When she got up, she went straight to the dining room and found the whole family eating breakfast quietly.
She greeted everyone and excused herself for not having dinner with the family. "I am sorry, but I needed to rest and sleep," explained Elizabeth.
"Do not worry, Lizzy," replied Mr. Bennet and continued eating.
The family was unusually quiet, and no one said anything. Her family had always been quite boisterous, so she was not expecting something like that. Her mother tried to ask about the Collinses, but her father stared at her, and she said nothing more and continued eating.
Then, Elizabeth did a test to see if what was happening was a genuine change in behavior or something temporal. "Mary, what did you do the days I was visiting Charlotte?"
"I have been studying philosophy and practicing the piano. I am focusing on playing the instrument and have given up the idea of singing. I have realized my voice is not good enough, and sometimes it can sound a bit ridiculous. Also, philosophy contributes to developing my critical thinking, and the sermons only reinforce my fanaticism." Mary replied in a way that seemed to be recalling something she had memorized.
Elizabeth smiled a little worriedly and continued questioning her family. And you, Kitty, what did you do these months that I was away from home?"
"I have been practicing drawing again," Kitty explained seriously. But more animatedly, she added, "You know I have always liked drawing." Elizabeth noticed that her father looked at Kitty, so she immediately added, "Keeping my mind focused on drawing helps me reflect on my past behavior and what I want to do with my life in the future."
"And you, Mama?" asked Elizabeth, almost thinking she was not in Longbourn and that was not her family.
"Well, Lizzy, your father reduced my allowance and household expenses…." Mrs. Bennet tried to explain, but when she saw her husband looking at her, she immediately changed the course of the conversation. "But that is great because we have to save. Besides, there is always something to do at home, and I do not miss shopping or inviting people who do not add anything to our lives."
Elizabeth could not ask Lydia because she said her part after her mother finished speaking. "Lizzy, I no longer go to Meryton looking for the officers. I have reflected and realized that no man likes flirtatious women, at least not to marry them." She then looked at her father defiantly and continued eating.
Elizabeth did not know what to think, and almost afraid to hear his answer, she asked Mr. Bennet, "And you, Papa, were you very busy with the crops?
"A little, but I have been busier taking care of my family, and as you can see, I have been very successful. That way, no one can accuse me of allowing the Bennets to be the laughing stock of the county," said Mr. Bennet, smiling, and then he continued reading the newspaper.
Elizabeth was so surprised by Mr. Bennet's answer that she preferred not to keep quiet; instead, she continued having breakfast in silence like the rest of the family while observing them.
As soon as breakfast was over, Lydia ran to lock herself in her room, her mother went to talk to Mrs. Hill, and Mary and Kitty went to work in the garden. Mary decided to take care of Jane's garden to keep herself busy with something productive since she could not read sermon books for more than half an hour a day and practice piano without singing for only two hours.
She wrote a letter to her sister, and Jane explained everything she had to do. Bored by the lack of activities and callers, Kitty decided to help Mary. They spent several hours caring for the flowers and even began to enjoy it after a while.
Taking advantage of the fact that her sisters were alone in the garden, Elizabeth used the opportunity to question them and learn what had happened during her absence.
Shortly after she left for London, Mr. Bennet had an earnest conversation with all the family members. He crudely told them everything he thought of each of them and that he would no longer tolerate such behavior. He also restricted the family's social life and the pin money, both for Mrs. Bennet and his daughters.
"Furthermore, we have to read every day, and before dinner, he quizzes us to make sure we have studied what he assigned daily," Mary explained.
"We have to read such difficult books, Lizzy. If it were not for Mary, I would not have passed any of those tests Papa gave us. Now that you are here, I hope you will help me too," Kitty said, a little distressed.
"Of course, my dear, I can help you study if you need my support. Besides, I want you to allow me to help you here in the garden," Elizabeth explained. However, deep down, she was apprehensive about everything going on and wondered how long this supposed harmony would last.
She appreciated that her father was trying to help his youngest daughters and wife. But she sensed that this was not the way to do it and that this supposed change was nothing more than appearance; in reality, everything remained the same.
Elizabeth and her two sisters did not know Lydia agreed to her father's conditions to distract his attention so he would not bother her. But none of his teachings had any effect on her. Whenever she could, she would sneak out of the house for an hour or two and go to her friend Harriet Forster's home. Harriet had promised to help her, and they were planning how to get Lydia out of Longbourn.
After breakfast, Lydia locked herself in her room and read the chapters of the history book her father assigned for reading. She took some notes that she later reviewed. That would allow her to pass her father's tests, although she did not understand anything she read. That way, she used the extra time to leave the house without anyone noticing. It had been too many years that Lydia had done as she pleased with no one to discipline her. Unfortunately for her, it was too late to try to reform her. Lydia needed constant supervision, and her father was not about to put his books aside to keep an eye on his youngest daughter.
Elizabeth could see that the measures her father had enforced had some effect. But he was still locked in his study, immersed in his own world. His daughters needed him to become part of their upbringing, not a distant father.
Also, Mrs. Bennet needed a husband who could teach her what she did not understand because she could not see how wrong her actions sometimes were.
P&P
Mr. Darcy went out riding after studying maps and writing instructions for the steward of his little estate in Scotland. He had been at Pemberley for a month, and although he felt calmer, he still had a deep sadness in his soul.
He had reflected on everything Lady Victoria had told him and decided to follow her advice and not judge his parents. However, that was part of the past, and he was eager to start living a new life and not let his family's history ruin his future. Also, he realized that he had probably decided something similar when he first discovered that painful truth. That was the reason he had met Elizabeth.
Furthermore, he sincerely forgave his mother for her constant silence and distance. After what his aunt told him, he understood that Lady Anne was different and saw the world in a particular way. He even thought that perhaps she suffered from an illness that medicine did not yet know about, which is why no one had managed to understand her.
But he also made peace with his father. Although he could never understand the reasons for his distance and cold treatment, he could reflect that he was never truly happy. For that reason, he could only feel sorry for him. Mr. Darcy even thought that perhaps that was why he enjoyed George Wickham's company so much. Since he was little, he was charming and capable of deceiving anyone with his sympathy and apparent good disposition. If his father had had a chance to live a few more years, he would have realized who that scoundrel truly was.
As for Georgiana, he and his aunt had agreed never to reveal the terrible truth to anyone. Not even Lady Catherine could be sure whether or not Georgiana was George Darcy's daughter. Only Lady Victoria knew that Lady Anne and his father had not been intimate for so many years. Georgiana physically resembled her mother, so there was no reason to raise suspicions. He was certain that it would be devastating for his timid sister to learn the truth at that point in her life when all those involved in that sad episode were deceased.
After riding for almost half an hour, he dismounted and walked to the trail that skirted the small pond. From there, he could see Pemberley's imposing mansion. He had always been proud to be the heir of such a majestic place and to bear the Darcy name. Still, none of it mattered at the moment because he felt alone, and neither his money nor his family prestige made him feel better.
Mr. Darcy had been thinking for days about his marriage proposal to Elizabeth, his letter, and how he always treated her. Finally, he admitted with shame and horror that everything she told him was true. He proposed in such a cruel and offensive manner that that slap was the least he deserved. He wondered over and over what he was thinking when he told the woman he loved that marrying her was a degradation and that by doing so, he was going against his family's expectations and his own good judgment. How could he think that an intelligent and dignified lady like Elizabeth would accept as a husband a man who could not show the slightest respect for her or her family?
After talking to his aunt, Mr. Darcy realized how wrong he was to judge the Bennet family harshly. Instead of advising Bingley to stay away from them, he should have told him to try to help them. Maybe he could have hired a governess for the younger sisters or found a good school. But luckily, his friend would be visiting him in Pemberley that summer, and he could talk to him and make amends. He did not feel comfortable discussing such personal matters in a letter.
Unfortunately, his biggest problem was still his lost memory; no matter how hard he tried, he could not remember anything. What kind of relationship did he and Elizabeth have? After speaking with that gentleman in front of the Thompson house, he understood that he was known there as William Thompson. That was why Elizabeth had called him William when they met in Netherfield. But what kind of relationship was there between them? From what the doctor said, they seemed to be good friends.
But then why did he always dream that they kissed? Maybe he was already in love with her, so he fantasized about her. He felt a great passion for Elizabeth from the first moment he saw her in Netherfield. It was not just her physical beauty but everything she represented.
But there was also everything that Mrs. Reynolds had told him. The previous summer, before traveling to Ramsgate, he ordered her to refurbish the master and the mistress rooms. When he insisted she give more details, Mrs. Reynolds confessed that he had significantly changed. He seemed more cheerful and lively, and every night after dinner, he shut himself up in his study, where he stayed until very late. So what was in the study that he stayed there so long?
"William, what are you thinking about so much? I have been watching you for several minutes, and you have not even noticed," Georgiana said as she approached her brother. She was riding around the park when she saw Mr. Darcy lost in thought.
"The usual, my dear, business matters, the estate, you know. It is good that you are here because I want to talk to you," Mr. Darcy said as he helped his sister dismount her horse.
"Is something wrong, brother? Let me tell you that you work too much and should have a little more free time. William, I do not like to see you so lonely and sad," Georgiana said but immediately blushed when she saw her brother's serious face. "Please excuse me; I did not mean to intrude," she added nervously.
"Mr. Darcy immediately hugged his sister and said affectionately, "You do not have to apologize; you have not done or said anything wrong, Georgie." That frail and shy girl was his only family, and he would do anything to protect her and see her content.
"What did you want to talk to me about, William?" Georgiana asked after calming down.
"It is about some plans I have for this summer." Mr. Darcy told his sister he had to go to Scotland and wanted her to go with him. "The last time we traveled there together was when you were twelve, Georgie."
"William, I would love to go with you, but Aunt Victoria invited me to spend part of the summer with her. Miss Carter and other friends of our aunt will be there too, and I…."
"And you would rather spend time with your friends than your old brother."
"You are not old, William. Do you know? Many ladies think you are the most handsome, eligible gentleman they have met. You are very popular among the ladies; they even like that you are so serious," said Georgiana merrily. She was very concerned because she saw her brother melancholy, which broke her heart.
Mr. Darcy smiled and added, "I was teasing you, my dear. I think it would be an excellent idea for you to spend part of the summer at Matlock. Aunt Victoria loves you very much and always takes good care of you."
"Thank you, William, and I admit that I love spending time with her. She is more than an Aunt to me," explained Georgiana. "Brother, please do not be mad at me, but maybe you should go to Matlock with me for some days and meet some of Ruth's friends. They are charming young ladies. I do not like to see you alone! Ruth is not just friendly; she is also intelligent. I think you should try to get to know her better..."
"I know that Georgie, Miss Carter is a lovely lady. The problem is that I am in love with another woman, and I doubt I could be interested in any other."
"William... What? Why are you not betrothed? Who is she?"
"Because I proposed, and she rejected me, my dear sister."
"Then she does not deserve you! She must be the silliest woman in the entire universe," Georgiana said vehemently, prompting a spontaneous laugh from her brother.
"Let us sit on this stone bench for a few minutes, and let me tell you a few things." First, Mr. Darcy told Georgiana that he had met this young lady in Hertfordshire, and they had met again in Kent. But he also told her how he behaved and proposed. But, of course, he did not give her more details because until he fully recovered his memory, he did not feel comfortable talking about his life as William Thompson.
"Well, I must say that you were wrong to talk to her like that, but she should know that you are the best man in the world, and she should forgive you. Who is she, brother? Do I know her?"
"No, although I think you have heard of her more than once." Seeing his sister's expectant face, he said her name. "She is Miss Elizabeth Bennet."
"Lizzy? Jane's sister?" Georgiana stood and began to talk nonstop. "Jane says her sister is brilliant and very pretty, too. Is she as pretty as Mrs. Bingley?"
"She is much prettier. In fact, I think she's the prettiest woman I have ever met," Mr. Darcy said excitedly. He then began to tell his sister more about his relationship with Elizabeth and their many interactions. Georgiana laughed as she listened to how Miss Bennet put Caroline Bingley in her place and even how she refuted her brother's pompous comments.
"William, you must fight for her love. Show her that you are sorry and that your love is sincere," Georgiana said almost without taking time to breathe.
"Georgie, there are many things you do not know," and I do not remember, he thought. "I need to take some time, but most of all, give her time. I did not tell you this to play matchmaker between us but to help you understand why I do not feel like meeting anyone. Right now, I need to be alone, and I hope you understand."
"Of course, I understand, dear brother," said Georgiana, although she thought she would ask Jane Bingley to help her achieve a rapprochement between Lizzy and her brother.
After conversing for a few more minutes, Mr. Darcy helped his sister mount, then he mounted his horse, and they rode back to Pemberley, for it would soon be dinnertime.
P&P
"Felicity, Emily, and Cordelia must be arriving soon. Cordelia is Lord Rockwell's niece, and she said she was coming with her cousin and a friend, Colonel Woodward. We shall have tea and dinner and probably stay late chatting and playing cards. I have already talked to the housekeeper and arranged the menus for tonight and the rest of the week," Caroline said as she paced back and forth, rearranging everything Jane had placed in the drawing room.
"Well, Caroline, you seem to have everything planned for today. I hope you do not mind that we will not be here this evening. Charles and I will visit my Aunt Gardiner and have dinner there. My uncle and aunt are leaving for a trip in a few more days, and I want to say goodbye to them."
"Of course, I do not mind," Caroline replied dismissively. Then she took an antique porcelain figurine Archibald gave Jane as a present and called a maid, "Girl, put this somewhere where I do not have to see it, please."
"Caroline, that is a very exclusive porcelain figure. It is something very special to me."
"Look, Jane, I know much more than you about decorating, and that horrible thing will not be in this room when I have my friends over." Then, when Caroline saw that Jane looked sad, she added forcefully. "I imagine that as soon as Charles arrives, you shall tell him how terrible and rude I am, right? Because you are not happy with having separated me from Louisa, but you also want Charles to despise me," Caroline said as she pretended to dry some tears.
"Caroline, I would never do something like that, and you know it. It is important to me that Charles has his family close to him; that is why I have always tried to get along with you," Jane explained in a conciliatory tone.
"If you want us to get along, leave me alone. Go to your tradesman uncle's house, and please stop interfering in my life," Caroline said, leaving the room to change her clothes.
Jane went to the Gardiners' house, and as soon as she got there, she could not help but hug her aunt and start crying uncontrollably. After several minutes, she could finally unburden herself, and she told Mrs. Gardiner how her life had been since Caroline had moved back in with them.
P&P
Mr. Darcy felt much more relaxed and calm. Talking to his sister made him feel better. Besides, just remembering Georgiana's advice on how to win Elizabeth's heart made him want to laugh. Apparently, his dear sister was reading too many gothic novels.
After dinner, he went to his study to answer correspondence from friends who invited him to spend a few weeks with his family. He usually ignored those letters, but in his desire to change and be more sociable, he now took the time to respond. He thanked them and explained that he could not attend because he had other commitments. He knew many of those invitations were from friends with single sisters looking for a husband.
After answering several letters, he wrote to Richard to tell him that he still could not remember anything and was losing faith that he would ever recover that part of his life. But he could not continue writing because he ran out of ink.
Fortunately, he always had a spare in one of his desk drawers. So when he opened the third drawer on the left side, where the ink was, he noticed something wrapped in a handkerchief.
.
As expected, he was very curious and took the piece of cloth to see what it was. When he saw it better, he realized it was a woman's handkerchief, and a key was inside it. But what puzzled him even more was that the handkerchief had the initials E.B 'Elizabeth Bennet. My God, what is this?'
He stood and poured himself a glass of water. Once he calmed down, he assumed that key would surely open some drawer that contained something he did not want others to see. 'Could it be the answer to so many questions in that small drawer? Maybe I shall find the answer to why I locked myself in this place for so many hours?'
Determined to resolve the mystery, he tried the key on several drawers until he found a small compartment under the last drawer on the right side. He remembered that little drawer but never used it, so he tried the key, and it worked.
When he opened the drawer, he found a small case of something resembling a jewel. When he opened it, he saw a gold brooch with diamonds, 'I do not remember this jewel. Is it Olivia's?' He looked in the drawer again and saw a small chest in which he used to keep his collection of miniatures. Anxious to know what was in there, he opened it and saw a miniature portrait. Looking at it carefully, he realized who she was, 'ELIZABETH BENNET!'
He put the jewel in the drawer and left the key where he had found it. Then, he wrapped the miniature portrait in the handkerchief and went to his room. There, he looked at his beloved's face for hours, 'Elizabeth, I need to know the truth; I need to know what kind of relationship we had.'
Late at night, he went to bed exhausted and put the miniature portrait and the handkerchief under his pillow to feel that somehow the woman he loved was close to him. That night, he dreamed he was talking to Mr. Jones about going to the Thompson house and that the doctor was giving him some letters. Then he saw Elizabeth covered in dust and both arguing… and every one of the events he had experienced as William Thompson was part of that dream.
"Mr. Thompson, I do not care who you are because, in my eyes, you are a wonderful man whom I deeply admire and love… William, I will always love you…."
'ELIZABETH,' Mr. Darcy said and woke abruptly from his dream at dawn, remembering absolutely everything that had happened in his life while he lived in the Thompson house.
P&P
Thanks to everyone who leaves comments and enthusiastically follows the story.
In the next chapter, the long-awaited reunion between our ODC will take place.
See you soon!
Saludos,
Yo