As usual all speech in italics is in the Old Tongue.

Chapter LXXXIV - Aes Sedai and Aes Sedai Wannabes

Bennae had been watching him since she joined the Hall. Not that he would know. Now that she had spoken to Taija it was time to act on that though.

"Tel, might I have a moment of your time?"

He smiled at her, "of course, what can I do for you?"

Bennae could see why Taija had liked him. He had fine features, a fit, well muscled body and more than a little charisma to him. Why if she were fifty years younger… "I was hoping to discuss a couple of things."

Tel nodded, "let's walk and talk then. I have a few minutes before my next class."

"Have you noticed that there is some tension between young Fedwin and Seshta?"

"No I can't say I have."

Men often were a little blind to such things. "Mmm well I believe there is, it would be sensible of us to keep an eye on them. There is some hostility there and they are both young, I would not want it to break out into something more."

"No, indeed not, thank you. I'll keep a closer watch on them. You said there were a couple of things?"

"Oh. Yes, of course. I was also hoping to discuss the best way to integrate my classes with the wider philosophy of the Hall. Modern politics is easy of course, but etiquette is more difficult. I know the ways of the current world, but it seems a waste to have initiates having to pick up on your own time's etiquette by themselves rather than being taught at least the basics."

"Yes, I suppose that's true. My time? I suppose you've been speaking to Taija?"

"Well naturally, but it would not be that difficult to guess." She did not want to seem too absent minded. Taija might enjoy her company despite that, she had the feeling that Tel would be looking for something a bit different. Not a bumbling, distracted historian. Although, that being said, it would still be fascinating to get his perspective on his time, in the future. Not now though, for now her mind needed to be on business.

======

Elaida sat at her desk half reading a report. She should be asleep, it was a ridiculous hour, but she could not sleep. She had not been able to sleep properly for weeks. Where had everything gone wrong?

And there was no question. Things had gone badly wrong. She was not sure how or what, but she felt the Tower slipping from her grasp. The world in fact. The walls were closing in around her. Every day fewer and fewer good choices.

Absent mindedly she reached for her desk drawer and then stopped herself. Cadsuane's announcement to the Tower, that was the moment she had started to realise. Oh she had not believed it then of course, the idea was ludicrous, but after that things had started to change around the Tower. Just small things, the way people looked at her, the things people said. Nothing that would trigger suspicion, and yet…

Her musings were broken by the sensation of her outer wards being triggered. She had not been sure why she had woven them. She was the Amyrlin, in the White Tower! Yet she had. Was it just mad paranoia? Was that Light-damned woman Cadsuane getting to her?

A moment later there was a tentative knock at her door. Elaida relaxed slightly, anyone who knocked like that could hardly be a threat, although Light only knew why they were bothering her at this ridiculous hour. She was tempted to ignore them, to go back to her own musings, but perhaps she should see who it was.

"Enter!" She held herself on the edge of embracing saidar.

She did not expect to see Reiko Kerevon open the door a crack and slip inside before dropping a deep curtsy, the bells in her hair tinkling with the movement. "Mother. Thank the Light you are awake…"

Elaida fought the urge to chastise the woman, her composure was gone, she looked both terrified and relieved. Of course she was one of the very few blues to have remained in the Tower after Siuan Sanche's violent departure and that did not endear her to Elaida either. If not for the politics of it, she would have abolished the Blue Ajah. She had scars from whatever the former Amyrlin had done in that corridor.

"What is it daughter? Why have you come to disturb me?" She did not keep the irritation out of her voice.

Rather than answering immediately Reiko studied her face for a few long seconds. Just before Elaida could say something Reiko steeled herself and spoke. "Mother, have you not seen it? Seen… t t the sisters? Their eyes?"

An aes sedai, stammering! Elaida's stomach twisted, even as she made herself project her usual air of self-assurance. Reiko could not have seen it too. It had been her imagination. Not… "You will elaborate daughter." She felt too sick to even comment on the woman's stutter.

"Sisters disappear for a few days or a week and then when they reappear, they're different. Changed. Since Cadsuane made her declaration it has been happening. So many sisters, they come back the same, but like you're talking to someone," she shuddered, "something else behind their eyes."

Elaida grimaced as she remembered that declaration. Cadsuane had said she was mad or a darkfriend. Then she had been furious. Now she wondered, was that so far from the truth? "And now you have come to me? I take it you did not believe her…" she wanted to say slander, but suddenly found that she struggled to, "words?"

"I stayed when the Tower split Mother, you are the Amyrlin Seat. If you were a darkfriend I do not think we would still be having this conversation."

Elaida raised her eyebrows. Reiko must be incredibly brave or incredibly desperate. "Why did you not leave the Tower? Others have been slipping away."

"Not anymore Mother. I know of at least one or two who tried and then 'changed their minds' returning a week or so later. Different."

How far did it go? Alviarin was the same as ever, smug behind her smooth-faced mask. Did that mean she was safe to speak to or was she Black Ajah too with no need to be turned. Elaida failed to suppress her shudder. "You think 13 channelers and 13 myr…" She could not make herself say it.

Reiko looked like she wanted to vomit. "Yes."

"How many are left?" There was no point denying it anymore. "How many can we save?"

"I do not know Mother. Of those that are unchanged, some must be voluntarily black, but surely not all. I think there are around 400 aes sedai in the Tower. I do not know all of them, but based on what I have seen, my best guess is that somewhere between 100 and 150 remain as normal, how many of those are Black Ajah I could not say."

Elaida's mind was racing. "Two years ago I would have ordered you to do penance for suggesting the Black Ajah existed. A year ago I would have said its numbers would be tiny. Now… I do not know. We cannot assume anyone is safe."

It was clear. The Black Ajah ruled the Tower and had kept her as a figurehead. Light knew why. She was no darkfriend. However, that meant Alviarin was almost certainly black. Who could she trust? Was there anybody? Reiko, she could trust her. She had to, if she could not then everything was doomed anyway. But anybody else? Darkness closing in all around her.

She needed to be strong. Reiko was clearly on the edge of despair. Elaida pulled herself together, she was the Amyrlin Seat, she might be an abject failure at it, but she would at least provide comfort to Reiko. "Sit Reiko, as long as we remain in the Light the Tower is not lost." There were more aes sedai out of the Tower, ones who had stayed neutral or fled with Siuan, considerably more than were in the Tower. She also had her embassy to the Dragon, almost fifty loyal and uncorrupted aes sedai. According to the pigeons they were on their way back without any success. Unconsciously she glanced down to her desk drawer, she had options, they had options.

"I am likely being watched, you will need to act as my hand until we are ready to strike. Take care, or you may become a target. You may be a target anyway. You will need to try to identify who might not yet have been turned and remains with the Light. Then we will need to act, discretely, to establish their true loyalties. Come back to me at the same time in three days and we will discuss this further."

"Thank you Mother, I will do as you say Mother."

Elaida hesitated and then opened her drawer and pulled out a broach in the shape of a bee. "Here, take this. It is an angreal, a strong one. Do not under any circumstances allow anyone to know you have it, but if they come for you, kill them and make your escape if you can. Do not sacrifice yourself for me daughter."

========

Eben lay back enjoying the dim light of the warm evening, looking out over the river. "Life's funny isn't it? Not long ago I was looking at life on a farm. If we'd met you'd be trying to gentle me. Now we're both going to be aes sedai one day and we're friends."

He glanced over at Helena where she lay beside him just in time to see her scowl. "I wouldn't have!"

"Of course you would have and it would have been the right thing to do. Taija and Rand sedai changed the world and it's better for it."

"I suppose… Things have changed for me too. I'd be an accepted in the White Tower, wondering about when I'd be testing for the shawl. Now it feels like I've taken a step back in some ways. Just another initiate, but such a big step forward in others. The world's changed and so have I."

"Just another initiate!" Eben played up his outrage. "Just like me you mean."

"Just like you, yes. It's horrifying. A huge step down."

"Oh come on, I'm not that bad or you wouldn't spend so much time with me."

Their eyes met. "Alright, you're not that bad. I might even let you be my warder once I'm aes sedai."

"Your warder? Ha! You can be mine, if you're lucky!"

"Women aren't warders, you'd know that if you were properly educated."

"Well your education told you men weren't aes sedai and yet…"

There was a pause and then they both broke into giggles. "The world really has changed. Maybe we'll be each others warders."

Eben realised they really were close to each other, looking straight into each other's eyes. If he just leant forward slightly…

His lips met Helena's and for a brief moment she froze. Then they were kissing. Gently at first. It was the first time he'd kissed a girl. He suspected it was her first too, given the White Tower's rules. It was everything he'd imagined, everything he'd hoped for. Her lips were so soft, slightly open as they moved against his. Their noses bumped together and they broke apart, looking awkwardly at each other.

She looked conflicted, had he done something wrong? He drew back slightly, opened his mouth to apologise. Before he had time to say anything Helena grabbed him and pulled him back to her and there was no need to think anymore.

Eben wasn't sure how long they'd been kissing. He'd been so lost in the moment, he'd even been brave enough to put his hands on her, pulling her close and running them up and down her back.

It all came to a sudden, crashing stop when he heard someone clearing their throat above them. Helena leapt away from him, almost jumping to her feet to immediately sink into a deep curtsy. It took Eben slightly longer to realise who it was, but when he did he was up almost as fast, his face heating.

He glanced at Helena who was blushing even harder than he was and quickly bowed low to Taija sedai, as he'd learnt was appropriate for an apology.

"Taija sedai! We were just…" Helena clamped her jaw shut when Taija sedai held up a hand.

"Yes I think it was clear what you were doing. Perhaps next time choose somewhere a little more private."

Eben winced and then his mind caught up with what she'd said. She didn't sound particularly annoyed. Were they not in trouble? She was turning to leave! He was about to slump with relief when she suddenly turned back to them, a look in her eye that made his heart sink.

"Tell me Helena, do they teach you the contraception web in the White Tower?"

"The what Taija sedai?" Helena sounded as confused as he felt.

"Contraception, umm." She went a little cross-eyed as she thought. If he wasn't so in awe of her it would be cute. "How to not have babies after sex."

He felt his cheeks flushing even redder.

"We weren't, we were just…"

"It's fine, I don't care what you do, you're both adults, but I don't want any unexpected pregnancies, not now. You do know how that works right?" This time she also glanced at Eben.

"Uhh yes, it was explained at the Tower."

"Good. Would you like me to explain for you Eben?"

Franticly he shook his head. "No Taija sedai, thank you, I grew up on a farm. I know how it works."

"Excellent, so the contraception web. This is how it's done, you lay it down just here." Taija sedai pointed and he immediately looked away, mortified. "Now show me in the air."

Eben felt goose pimples erupt over him as Helena channeled, or so he assumed.

"Hmm, not quite. It's a fairly harmless web to get wrong, it was developed so you could use it even when you were drunk, but it's more like this…" Was she really teaching Helena that? Right there in front of him? "Yes, perfect. Now apply that to yourself each day and guaranteed no babies for at least 24 hours. All clear?"

Helena's almost inaudible, "yes aes sedai," was a stark contrast to Taija sedai's cheerful, business like tone.

"Excellent. Now don't let me catch you having sex out here. I don't mind what you get up to in private, but no one wants to see that." She hesitated. "Well I don't anyway. Have a nice night!"

"Good night Taija sedai," they muttered as he bowed and Helena curtsied. The woman headed off into the darkness again. She seemed to be oddly pleased, but he couldn't work out why. It didn't matter, there were more pressing things to think about.

Eben turned back to Helena, both of them still blushing furiously. "I uhh…"

"I think it might be time to go to bed, we need to be up early in the morning."

"Yes, you're right. Of course." He hesitated, silently cursing Taija sedai for ruining the moment so thoroughly, "but that was… great. I'd like to kiss you again, if you'll allow it."

Helena gave him a shy smile. "So long as we find somewhere she won't bother us."

=========

Padaul stood out in the sun, his blue fringed coat unbuttoned, watching the novices straining to seize saidin. "No, again. You need to empty your mind first. Feed everything into the flame, no emotion left at all."

He hadn't been born to be a teacher, but here he was. A new lease of life since the Dragon had cleansed the taint. He'd managed to learn to channel saidin by himself, somehow survived almost two years with no more than than small foibles to show for it. Apparently that was rare. Vanishingly so. Maybe that was why the Creator had allowed him to survive, so he could help these boys survive too.

One of them, Aderin, managed to keep hold of saidin this time before slowly forming a weave of spirit in front of him.

"Well done Aderin, good work!" It was important to give both praise and criticism. Too much of one or the other and you would ruin a man.

"Thank you Padaul sedai." Aderin gave him a small, pleased bow.

"Now try again." It was strange hearing someone call him aes sedai, even a month later. He had been a merchant before, a bloody good one too, but certainly not the kind of person who walked in the same circles as aes sedai. Yet now he was one.

Sort of. He smiled ruefully to himself, without taking his eyes off the boys. He hadn't missed the subtle slights some of the women gave him. Most of them didn't see him as a real aes sedai, but that was understandable. The taint had only been cleansed months ago. He hadn't paid his dues to the White Tower the way they had.

What mattered was that Siuan Sanche, the Amyrlin seat, his Amyrlin seat, had given him a chance. The White Tower had stood against the Shadow for three thousand years. It was ready to welcome men back into its ranks now that the Lord Dragon had cleansed the taint and the pattern had picked him out to help with that. She was a visionary and because of her he had been honoured and given one of the most important tasks in history. That was part of the reason he had chosen the Blue Ajah, that had been her ajah, before she became Amyrlin.

He would live up to that honour. The women could sneer behind his back, but he and his boys would prove themselves. It might take years, but before he was done the men would be an integral part of the White Tower as respected as any woman.

========

"So tell me, are you familiar with the Kingdom of Manetheren and its history? Given the Queen's new Prince Consort the historical context really is fascinating." Bennae took a sip from her cup of wine to be matched by Tel.

"I can't say that I am. What was Manetheren? Is this something to do with her naming him Lord of the Two Rivers?"

"Well indeed, you see Mantheren's geographical boundaries were…" As Bennae talked she watched Tel carefully. A fascinating man, hugely knowledgeable about many things. It was such a pity he and poor Taija had ended up the way they were. They both loved so many of the same things and instead of enjoying them together they avoided each other.

It had been interesting to discover that, for all his bonhomie and fun with the initiates, Tel was as lonely as his former betrothed. Of course he did not say it, the man was far less open than Taija. He would have made a good aes sedai even in this time, but it was obvious to anyone who spoke to him for long.

Of course that made her task all the easier. He was a harder man than Taija, more closed off in many ways. Unsurprising really, but he had come to welcome the time she spent with him. Once she had extended the hand of friendship to him, presented in the right way of course, he had taken it without much difficulty. Naturally it was a delicate balancing act. It just would not do for Taija to find out what she was planning.

Now that he was more relaxed around her it was only a matter of time before he lowered his guard properly. It would be a slow process, but Bennae would find out what kind of a person Tel Janin truly was. While Taija found happiness in herself, she would assess Tel.

If, and given his history it was a very big if, she decided he was worthy of it, then Taija could be gently steered back to him. Cadsuane would be delighted and the two of them could resume their relationship.

However, if she found him wanting in any respect… Well it all depended. Most likely she would just leave him in place. He was a fascinating man after all and doing good work for the Light. Taija could be gently guided away from him and perhaps introduced to a suitable man or two, someone with both muscles and a brain. No harm would be done and Bennae's own studies could be furthered with his knowledge too.

If he was worse than she thought though, well he might be more paranoid than Taija, but he was not paranoid enough.