Chapter 60: In Other Words, Please Be True

He was completely unfamiliar with this state of being. The conversation with his ideal girl gave him a rough idea of what simultaneously knowing and being completely unfamiliar was like. What he did not experience was the state of being he was within.

At once he felt he could perceive what made him who he was and he was also lost in a sea of consciousness flooded by many. Every thought that could have been considered before was just as possible was as much his own as it was to an entire multitude. He was an individual in one instant and then he was not.

The being known as Shinji Ikari found himself comprehending the state of existence known as Instrumentality. All of human existence caught forever in a single state without barriers sharing everything that formed them before. Where every thought comprehended before was his own and every one he had belonged to all others. It was possible for him and every other individual to perceive this place as paradise as it could be considered Hell.

In spite of whatever brought him here, whatever convinced him this was what he wanted, he was able to differentiate himself to sort through the solitary nature that all of human existence now was. He could muster his individuality but he was caught in an uphill battle to even muster a single thought to question the whole of humanity. Yet allowing himself to wallow in this state made sure he would never again be what he was.

He could not conceive how long it took for him to manage a vision in front of him. For all he could determine it might have taken as many ages to conceive where he was as it took for him to remember the sense of self he had. He was only relieved to see there was another individual in front of him against the solitude he was in.

Rei appeared above him as he asked, "Ayanami. Why am I here?"

Rei comprehended what Shinji was trying to understand, answering, "Where we both wanted to be.

"Ayanami... You wanted this?"

"I only wanted what you decided was best."

"No... I couldn't have..."

"You knew it was what everyone deserved. Where there is no more hardship."

Shinji realized his perception gave form to another individual. His father Gendo hovered above both him and Rei. Even if he wanted him expelled completely, he knew the presence all around him was unable to expel him anywhere.

He voiced his protest to his father's description, "This can't be something I wanted. I never wanted to live like this."

"She is with you, and you are with her. It is all you need to perceive her."

"No... Not this way... Not without her..."

"She is one with you."

"I am one with you."

What protest Shinji had tempered as soon as he heard Misato's voice. The one thing he was afraid he lost was somewhere. By the rules of Instrumentality, he understood where she was. Everywhere and nowhere, within him and her own individual.

He felt a brief moment of relief from hearing her with him but was brought back to the reason he initially protested where he was. Misato was indeed with him, but he could not have her the way he came to appreciate. As an individual, one who saw him as such in return, someone who changed him in ways he would say for the better. He knew he would never have that feeling again as he allowed himself to linger in this place of oneness that overridden all else.

This may have been the reason for his defiance being renewed or it might have been something deeper. Whatever the reason was, Shinji found the reason he needed to defy what his existence was. He wanted to live, and he wanted Misato at his side.

He could not hide these thoughts from Gendo as he asked, "Is it worth the suffering Shinji? You knew what everyone would say before. You endured only a fraction of the judgment you would endure. Now you want to face it again?"

There was a legitimate argument behind his father's question. It took enduring hardship he never knew he was capable of and the shame from others in their lives. Moments like these were bound to repeat many times over if both he and she deemed their individuality to be worth living. Even remembering such a haunting existence made him remember the one thing that made it all worthwhile. She was there with him.

This deduction became the ultimate basis for Shinji answering, "When she's with me, it's worth everything!"

Reaching out his hand he felt something take form around his grasp. It was a familiar hold that he felt many times before. The hand of Misato Katsuragi, the woman he loved, was giving his complete trust to his commitment. He did not have to hear her say anything as he realized he earned her complete trust to free her from this void of consciousness.

All around them was the witness of individuals he only had passing knowledge of in the center of what became the consciousness of humanity. Many with good intent and many who were more selfish only to discover there was a central truth behind what was happening in this one spot. The moment they would discover the first individual who would deny the fate all of humanity resigned itself to.

The emotion of shock resonated through the individual known as Takeshi Iwasaki who bore the weight of that one boy's proclamation. Both the passion and the memories of what brought two individuals together after an instant that changed them both. It took being merged with them entirely to discover the true motivation that came between the two of them.

All consideration he had for pulling them back left him as he looked on in wonder asking, "This is what the seeking of human bonding can bring us to?"

There were multiple voices within the center of human consciousness as it gathered around him moving and moving away from him all at once. He was only a pebble in the center of a river providing a minimal obstacle for the moving body of water. The situation was in reverse, however, as he felt the solidifying forms of Shinji Ikari and Misato Katsuragi passing through him.

This was a sight he struggled to comprehend while struggling to comprehend just what his role in it all was. In life, where he had full knowledge of what he had done, he would have provided the support individuals such as them needed. He would do this if only to defy the wandering presences of those around him who were just as astonished by what was happening.

There was once a time Misato considered Satsuki Ooi a friend who sincerely wanted the best for her and others. The appeal she had for her in reaching out to her was denied by the form Misato took as what remained of her consciousness kept hold of Shinji in his ascent. This was not the action of someone who was subject to the will of another, she was witnessing an ascent that was only possible through cooperation two individuals made possible.

She found herself in as much wonder as Takeshi as her view encompassed them and all of humanity before determining, "You are both… embodiments… of actualization…"

One of her compatriots, Aoi Mogami, no longer had a reason to rely on knowledge alone to understand what was going through the minds of two individuals who had come to completely different conclusions. For the first time in many years, she allowed her feelings to judge what was right about this moment. Everything she knew before in life had been completely changed

Unable to debate the entirety of human consciousness, she refused the weight that would push down upon her by observing, "We were, in the end, the ones who threatened to end happiness."

Kaede Agano looked up in wonder at what had happened as she felt a feeling she did not believe should have been possible in this state of isolation. Her own experience with her father was there for all of humanity to witness as she achieved the greatest mistake she did in life. She impressed the value of her experience on others who were not in the same predicament as her.

Sorrow lingered in the area where she remained before sending her thoughts through the LCL, "I have done a terrible thing. I cannot ask for forgiveness. I can only ask that what I did does not weigh anyone else down."

Indeed, the three of them were able to let go of all inhibitions that would prevent these two individuals from ascending to greater heights. They were unable to provide assistance in the greater scope of what humanity had become, but they were all completely changed from focusing upon the one aspect that concerned them. All intentions they had of making this the end of human individuality were evaporated as they allowed just two of the individuals they burdened with unnecessary sorrow made their final escape from their clutches.

These were just a handful of individuals who were subjected to the will of Third Impact's newly established rule of existence. There were no secrets kept in this realm, only absolute understanding of the truth that resonated through those who were all once individual beings. This caused what was once incomprehensible to some, and downright disavowed by others, to see the first one to reject the unity that had been built between all life was doing so with another in hand prepared to make their escape. All intentions of keeping them apart were undone now that what kept them together revealed itself true.

Keeping hold of her hand and looking to the light above, Shinji felt himself rising from the ground. Both he and Misato were granted the fortune of going against the weight of what all humanity had become. The full force of it all weighed down on them with the intent to maintain the perfect unison that humanity had achieved.

Shinji and Misato knew this was the protest they would have to defy in their ascent. The desire to remain this singular being and the judgement they would be forced to handle as soon as they were free were just two things waiting for them. Two obstacles that would no longer burden either of them for what they chose to be.

These were only two forces that held them back but there were also many more. Manifestations that both Shinji and Misato were subject to in their exposure to Da'at. A final challenge that questioned many things from both of them but became the catalyst for new waves of resolve.

Hoping to determine if he was prepared for such a future made Misato ask, "So you know where you're going. But you don't want to go against it?"

Shinji tightened his right hand, answering, "I have a feeling it will be worth it in the end. This time I'll keep going."

Misato was still across from her mother while the baby named Shinji Ikari waited for someone to take hold of him. He was afraid he would be left on his own and with no one to turn to. No one could tell what it ultimately took or what was the final straw, but it finally became enough for Misato to realize something about herself.

There was someone in front of her who needed to be there for him. An individual who would not have a pleasant life without someone to turn to. She had the potential to prevent it from being the type of life he would have to go through.

Misato stepped towards her mother and the baby before stretching out her arms and apologizing, "I was wrong mom. I need to be there for him."

The choice her daughter was making made Ikuko recognize the newfound sense of purpose she had while carefully handing the baby over and asking, "Not just for him. But because you want him in your life, right?"

Taking hold of Shinji in her arms, Misato confirmed, "Yes. For him and for me."

In his father's office, Shinji was still standing across from Gendo but with a newfound sense of conviction. His father would want him to continue fighting the enemy Angels for as long as it took but he would have his own reason to keep pressing forward. A reason not unlike his but would be for someone among the living he knew he could reclaim.

Gendo tried to garner a conclusive statement from his son asking, "So will you continue to fight?"

Shinji looked up to him before accepting, "Yes. I'll keep going."

The late hours of the school were claiming their hold over the Tokyo skies. Eventually all of its students would have to go home to prepare for another day with some more demanding than others. Shinji could not even tell if the remainder of his day would be easy on him at this rate.

The argument between his friends and the other girls had finally reached the point where he was free to leave. He needed to make his choice and it was his to decide. Whatever choice he made would not appeal to everyone, but he would be ready for what praise or condemnation he would face.

Toji still was not sure if he wanted his dear friend to go through this challenge, asking, "You really think you're ready for it? Consequences and all?"

Kensuke added, "We'll be here for you at least."

The assurance made Toji smile before admitting, "We're going to help any friend of ours."

Preparing to make his way down the stairs, Shinji prepared himself for the future in front of him, answering, "If I'm going to make anyone's life better, I have to want them to be happy. More importantly I have to actually go through with it. Misato needs someone there for her more than ever."

After removing the video tape from the camera, Shinji looked down on it reflecting on what he had created. It was a memory both him and Misato were able to remember for as long as they lived. He would make sure it was one only they would share together.

He knew it was time for him to make this promise as he heard Misato ask, "What did you make that tape for Mr. Shinji?"

Shinji slid the tape into his breast pocket, answering, "I had one idea at first. But I think it's going to stay with us."

Hearing this decision made Misato perk up, "It's a precious memory we'll keep together, right?"

Seeing her happy to start a life together made him confirm, "That's right. The first of many."

The filming room was being prepared again with the multiple clones of Rei fixing the walls and returning to their original stations. They were all tasked with a specific designation with little to no idea of what sort of world was waiting for them. It was one of the greatest failures Shinji realized he was living with after his attempts to awaken her own humanity.

"I'll try to make it better for you to. I promise."

Believing this observation was directed at her, Asuka asked, "It's a little late for that don't you think?"

He thought about correcting her, but Shinji decided it was applicable to Asuka as well. Not only for all the harm he had done but for the future he denied her as well. He knew that on some level she was holding on to the idea that they would be together even if she denied it at every turn.

Preparing to dedicate himself to making both hers and Rei's lives better, Shinji gave what he hoped would be the last apology he would have to give both of them, "I'm sorry for everything I ever put you through."

Asuka crossed her arms but did not allow a sense of anger to be heard in her dismissal, "Don't be. It was a giant wakeup call I needed."

Deciding he would have to address her directly, Shinji relieved himself of what regrets he had left by telling her, "I would have done things differently if I had known."

A remnant of the old Asuka was audible as soon as he heard her counter, "I sure wouldn't want it that way. You're not worth the trouble."

Shinji knew he would have to prepare himself for the world he had chosen but could not help but inquire one question he had, "You don't think it would have been different otherwise?"

Before the walls could envelop them completely, Asuka smirked denying, "Not a chance in Hell."

In the room of the ship facing against the destroyer of so much of humanity, Shinobu believed the worst about his father and what he was denying. That he would rather see him and everyone else die than fight to help anyone. That he and his mother would die from his denial.

Shinji finally stood against this expectation as he made his way over to him and Misato. He felt his mother release him before gently pushing him towards Shinji. In another instant, Shinobu shared the first embrace he and his father ever shared.

Shinji revealed all the regret he had by apologizing, "Shinobu. I'm so sorry for what I did to you."

Shinobu found all his shame and fear in question as he tried to comprehend the gesture he was given, "Father... You... mean it?"

Placing his hands on his shoulders, Shinji gave a new promise to his son, "I brought you into such a harsh world. I wasn't there for you. I'll make it right."

He could not make himself protest his father's decision but Shinobu was still uneasy with the potential future by asking, "How are you going to do that?"

It would not be an easy subject to have an answer for. The least both Shinobu and Misato were hoping for was that the one who gave him life would find it within his heart to live for both of them.

Shinji revealed this was his intention by answering, "By making sure the world you are born into is better than the one I had. I'll do that by being the father you want me to be."

Misato smiled at the newfound sense of dedication Shinji had in him. Even after 14 years had passed and thrown him into the consequences of his actions headfirst, he was willing to own up to what he had done and live with them. He was willing to live for someone other than himself and it would not just be to reclaim the lost time they had together. It would be the first step towards recovering the bond they cherished so long ago.

She did not want to break up such a moment, but Misato knew she still had to fight for the life they had. "Shinji. Shinobu. We can have you both ready to face the Angels. If we're going to make the world better for everyone, then we all need to work together. That includes me."

Realizing he had the support of the woman he loved ready for the harshest reality they could imagine made Shinji step away and promise, "It will happen Misato."

For what seemed to be the first time in a long time, Shinobu felt himself smiling at what he was about to enter before declaring, "Mother. I feel like I can walk alongside him and not be afraid."

Misato returned the display of newfound happiness the two had before asking, "That's what I wanted for both of you. Now, are you both ready to head out there and show everyone what you can be?"

Shinji took hold of his son's hand, answering, "I'm ready. I'll do whatever it takes."

Shinobu returned the gesture before preparing to follow his father out the door, "I'll be right there with him."

With a mighty thrust of his arm to the surface, Shinji felt the cold air wrap around the first exposure of skin he gave. He reached up further and dragged himself out of the primordial soup humanity had become. Misato followed alongside him as his body made its ascent. The first two beings to free themselves from the unity that humanity had become.

They both made their ascent, but Shinji realized how difficult freeing them both had become. Especially when Misato was still struggling to regain her sense of self. It was his turn to be the one to guide her out of the despair they were both confined to. The time had come for him to commit his answer to what he wanted his life to be.

Shinji wades through the red fluid that was the human race before finding a pile of rubble with a traffic light adorning it. Turning around to situate himself on the surface, he felt the gravel impress itself from his skin. What little pain he felt at this point did little to deter him as he focused his efforts on pulling Misato out of the LCL that had them both bound.

In a burst of strength Shinji could not imagine him having before, he pulled Misato out of the fluid to draw her to him. Her form had returned to what it once was, scar and all. Her cross pendant was within his hand and placed under her breasts.

He hoped it was the last thing he would have to achieve but Shinji realized the faint breathing Misato gave. She managed to free herself from the unity of the LCL but was still recovering from where she was. It was not from the effects of drowning, but it did prevent her from perceiving the area around her.

The two of them emerged into a dark and uncaring world. Littered with rubble of the remains of civilization, lit only by the distant stars in the sky and the bright red of the LCL, populated by no one in the world but them. A world that demanded everything from those who wished to survive while offering very little in return.

Shinji held Misato right to his chest as he looked out to the LCL announcing, "This is enough. This is where I want to be."

The red fluid leaked out of Misato's mouth as soon as she coughed it up and began to realize where she was. Her sight was fuzzy but gradually returned as she realized where she was now. The tug against her was more assurance than she could ever ask for. She knew the feel of that skin, the shape of his form, all that was different was the tone of his voice. A sense of decisiveness she only seldom heard before and never expected to hear in the world they now lived in.

Seeing the first sight of Misato reawakening from her status made Shinji's conviction swell within him before revealing his conclusion, "If anywhere can be paradise, I'll face whatever comes."

Misato felt her breathing return as she raised her hands. One hand snaked its way into the lace of her pendant while the other took hold of his hair. She needed confirmation who was holding her and indeed it was the boy she caused such a great change in. Even if she could not say anything to him, she was still relieved that the one she loved was right there holding her.

Shinji made this change in him clear by giving his ultimate proclamation, "You failed father! I'm going to live!"

It was the one thought that determined his individuality. Being brought into a world where he was not guaranteed to be accepted by anyone but content with the one thing he wanted. The woman he loved in his arms and just as accepting of where they had been cast out. He could rationalize why his mind would conceive such a scenario now that he made such a commitment.

It was not until he felt his eyes open again that Shinji realized he was in a room that did not fit his scenario. His first sight was one of an unfamiliar ceiling and a repeating beep that accompanied it. He was attached to an EKG and an IV with little indication how much time had passed.

It only took a little observation before Shinji could determine he was in a hospital room with no one around. That was his initial thought before finding himself corrected as soon as he adjusted his gaze to the right side of his bed. Someone else was in the room with him, someone he had been hoping to see for far too long.

Shinji felt his mouth tremble in his attempts to manage what might have been the first words he would muster in days to finally ask, "M... Misato?"

The call of her name made Misato jerk up from her kneeling against his bed rail. Her eyes had shot open at the sound of the boy she was waiting for to wake up. After being left to pray against all hope she was rewarded with the sight she had been waiting for.

Misato picked herself up before moving over next to him exclaiming, "Shinji!"

In a desperate hope to ensure he would not disappear she placed both of her hands on the cheeks of his face. Her fingernails dug into his skin but locked her fingers from bending and further. She did not want him to be hurt any more than he was but her desperation to keep him in her hold was too great for her to deny.

This display caused Shinji to smile in relief. Misato was right above him affirming her commitment to him in the world he chose to be part of. But even having such a resolution did not provide the ending he was anticipating.

Doubt erupted in Misato now that Shinji was alive and well. She had every reason to celebrate whatever goodness there was in the world decided he should be with her again. It also made her question if she truly deserved it as well.

Her life up to now relied on her giving everything to make sure that he would not have to suffer and yet she was just as guilty in contributing to it. Every time they came this close, they would find themselves enduring another form of pain they might not have been accustomed to yet. Having such a life to look forward to made her smile tremble as she realized what this happiness she was feeling now might have been a precursor to.

Shinji did not grasp the entirety of what she was feeling but had an idea of it as Misato's face fell into a frown. Something had taken hold of her mind as she struggled to make sense of what sort of chance she was given upon seeing him again. He only hoped she would not hold anything back now that they were sure to not be interrupted.

Knowing it was time for him to face the reality he was now in made Shinji welcome, "Misato... You're alive..."

This observation made Misato hold back outright screaming a tangent about what she was waiting for before revealing, "I was so scared I was going to lose you Shinji... I hated every second waiting here... I couldn't live with myself if you didn't make it..."

Misato's struggle to remain firm reminded Shinji of the time he was released from Unit-01 and more thankful than ever to have him with her again.

He tried to ease her sorrow by assuring, "I'm here now... I'll make sure you never lose me again..."

Misato shook her head with the same restrained sobs before telling him, "Shinji you... God damn it you... You aren't obligated to stick with me..."

It was another test that Shinji was prepared to answer by telling her, "But I want to Misato. I don't want to lose you again."

This appeal made Misato bite her lower lip to keep herself from sobbing and managing to summon the words to determine, "All of this happened because we were together... I hurt you so much and you... didn't have to go through any of it. Everything happened because of me."

He could not think of all the instances at once but Shinji tried to keep her from tossing him aside completely by asking, "We did a lot of good didn't we?"

Misato shook her head again by reminding, "And what about us? We can't keep staying together like this. Not when we hurt each other so much."

Determined to keep her from thinking like he used to anymore, Shinji corrected Misato by revealing the intentions of a particular night by reminding, "I was happy whenever I was with you though. I wanted to keep feeling that way. That's... That's why I came back..."

Misato knew exactly what moment Shinji was referring to. That night he came to her apartment door dirty and seemingly with no hope for a future. This confession made her see his plea in a new light entirely. Not just a desperate plea for her own happiness but for his. For the most mutual reason that any two individuals could have for one another.

But she needed to hear him say it. She needed more than ever to be sure this was what drove him. "You... You really... thought about that all this time?"

Preparing to wipe away the tears that were about to come, Shinji raised his hand up to Misato's face, answering, "I wanted to be happy. You made that possible. Misato..."

This was the penultimate moment he knew he was building up to in his life. Shinji was being asked to make a choice about what direction his life was about to take. He knew this was a decision with heavy implications but for the first time in his life he felt a swell of certainty in what he was about to choose.

Only lingering hesitation kept him from giving a final answer before finally saying, "I... love... you..."

Tears poured right out of Misato's eyes as soon as she heard those three words she wanted to hear for so long. Damn whatever the consequences might have been for taking him, she heard it from one of the last individuals she ever expected to make her life feel complete. There were only a select few times she ever felt this way, and this was an instant she was thankful to have lived long enough for it to happen.

She could not manage the will to say anything in response but communicated her acceptance the one way she wanted to. Misato lowered her head down to Shinji and locked her lips with his as recklessly as she could. Desperate to make sure she would never lose hold of him; she allowed her fingers to fully weave themselves into Shinji's scalp while keeping as much of her body comfortably on top of his as possible.

Shinji realized too late his intent to keep Misato from crying did not work like he expected it to. Having her in his embrace again was the least he wanted after his long meditation on what he had gone through. His desire to find what made him achieve happiness was, after so long, answered.

Just like Misato, he no longer had any concern for what the consequences might have been. The day would come when he would be released from his injuries and asked to face the world he had chosen. For the first time in what seemed to be his entire life he could say he did not fear what might have been coming his way. He was not afraid as long as he had the one he loved at his side.

Misato made sure to give Shinji the breathing space he needed by removing her lips from his. Both fixed their gazes upon one another with a sense of reverence for one another they did not have before. Weighed with the firm reminder of the difficult times the two had put one another through along with the circumstances that brought them together in a way just like now.

The silence lingering between them ended with Misato determining, "Well. It looks like we have something new for us to try entirely."

Hearing this made Shinji feel uncertain about how he would approach the subject but managed to ask with a smile, "Being good to each other for the rest of our lives?"

Misato returned the smile reflecting on the big change her life was headed before confirming, "Never made a commitment that big before. Looks like I just got a chance to try now."

There was going to be much both Shinji and Misato would have to answer for and make sense out of when they became part of the public eye again. The defeat of the last Angels, the fall of NERV, the disappearance of SEELE, and the convoluted web of deceit that had its place among the personnel were all entire icebergs in themselves to make sense of. No world with individual lives could ever be a simple one. The world they had was also the one they were willing to make the best of now that they were together for good.

As soon as Shinji was released from the hospital, the first thing Misato did was try to establish a date neither of them could forget. First, she took him out to eat at one of the most extravagant places he ever went. A restaurant called Azuki where she ordered olive wagyu beef for both of them. Shinji was taken aback by the price, but Misato did not let it be an obstacle for the night. He could not counter the argument that after all they had gone through this was the least they deserved to treat themselves to.

Upon returning to the apartment, Shinji surprised Misato with a choice of how to spend the evening. He requested that they rent the movie Fukkatsu no Hi again. Misato could not say she was anxious to see the movie again after everything but found herself relinquishing in the end. The value it had for being from a night on their first date together helped ignite a certain nostalgia for it she did not have before.

Both leaned against one another all the way to the ending where Shuzo Yoshizumi met the survivors and declared that life was wonderful. Both remaining awake all the way to the ending, they did not have any immediate thoughts to share as they allowed the credits to roll. Even after watching such a harrowing movie, neither of them could say they were left with the same state of confusion as their first viewing together. Such a state still left Misato unsure what she could say that was any different from last time.

Shinji broke the silence by saying, "I think I get it now."

Misato turned to him asking, "Something about the movie?"

Having the basis to explain himself made Shinji confirm, "Yeah. How life is difficult. And it's all worth it."

Misato smiled watching the screen before asking in realization, "That really isn't too far from us, is it? Maybe that's what they were getting at all along."

He had no idea if he managed to crack the code as far as the filmmakers were concerned but answered, "Even if it wasn't, I sure like that idea."

There was still a faint air of the uncertainty in Shinji that made Misato pull him close to her before asking, "It really is something else. In this spot at my age and probably in the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. It sure says a lot about me, doesn't it?"

He could not decide if it was condemnation or self-deprecation of herself but hoped he was able to lift her spirits by asking, "I don't know, am I much better?"

The laughter from Misato confirmed to Shinji what her intention was while she tried to counter with her own joke, "By a lot. You're just living out the adolescent fantasy I had at your age."

Shinji remained dedicated to what brought him to her side by assuring, "Well we're in this for real now. At least I'm going to try my best making sure we're happy together."

What little laughter was in Misato after hearing that was subdued as she thought back to every moment with Shinji before deducing, "You never did stop trying now that I think about it."

"And so, the choice has been made. As has the creation of reality anew."

For what would be the last time in the reality he had chosen, Shinji sat across his ideal girl. The one he was destined to meet many times over in many ways with different outcomes. Traveling across the many realities in a search for the absolute truth that was his existence. With even such a brief amount of time they had together, were able to bring out new realizations within one another and complete a new truth.

Shinji confirmed this was his belief to his ideal girl by remembering, "I'm going to be there for her. For everyone else. For Shinobu."

What sense of security in the decision he had made was shaken as soon as his ideal girl warned, "I am only hoping now that you do not question the choice you have made."

There was a central truth Shinji could not make himself deny and his ideal girl knew what it was. He made his choice, but he could not totally convince himself that he had made the correct choice among all the others afforded to him. When he would have to discover that over the course of a lifetime it was a daunting prospect to consider.

He tried to summarize this concern he had by explaining, "I guess I'm just thinking about how I'm going to miss you."

It was a feeling his ideal girl shared many times over. Every time she saw him, she was reminded of the multiple times she either failed or simply arrived too late in his life. There would be a time when she would be with him at long last, but this was not going to be the time.

She was able to console both of them by assuring, "No two people are ever truly parted from one another forever."

Shinji could tell where his ideal girl was going with her proposition by asking, "Even if I create a reality that's not like this one?"

Hope sprung from her as she came to understand the realization Shinji was coming to by praising, "So you have grasped the metaphor at last."

While she knew everything that brought him to this conclusion, Shinji found himself revealing his newfound outlook on life, "Me and Misato form a branch. Part of the tree but breaking away from it as well. To give others and the tree itself life. The chance to bear fruit that carries seeds across the plains for the potential of new trees to be made."

His ideal girl smiled at the analogy summarizing, "A Neon Genesis Evangelion. As it both will be, and was, proclaimed."

The term was at once unique but very familiar to him. Perhaps it was a way of living he had known all his life but could not put into words before. An aspiration to move past the most difficult times and give way to better ones. So long as any one individual was willing to make that day happen.

He summarized his discovery as best he could by revealing, "Even when the fruit of knowledge is all we have available to us, one can eventually find the fruit of life."

His ideal girl agreed, "Finding the one who gives you happiness is only one possibility to make reality what can and will be fully realized. The future ahead of you now is as limitless as the possibilities behind you are."

This was a future he could now face with full confidence agreeing, "I never thought I could be that important to anyone. But it's what I became. Even if nowhere we live is real, what we know and treasure being real is what gives us a reason to exist."

An air of certainty had been established between the two of them. The reality Shinji found happiness in would be his to cultivate and realize. How paradise was truly achievable wherever people might be able to find solace. As soon as he saw a sphere of light begin to grow, he found his mind wandering away from everything else he had just discussed.

His ideal girl revealed the intention she had for summoning the object between the two of them requesting, "I would enjoy one parting gift from you Shinji."

Looking into the growing sphere of light and left wondering what he could have given her made Shinji ask, "What is it?"

The light between them enveloped them both as his ideal girl answered, "A vision of your Keter."

Misato lay on the floor next to a myriad of dead soldiers. She was fine with having fulfilled a purpose of some kind. Life continued to throw one reason after another that she was forced to question her worth as an individual or if she could even be considered human. If she could manage to make Shinji to find the motivation he needed to go out and fight the Angels one last time, it was the one thing she could live with herself having achieved before her death.

For this reason, she was taken aback as soon as she heard the elevator doors open. A chill of fear came over her as she realized her efforts might not have amounted to anything. Shinji was defeated and unwilling to fight for anything where he was now but having him come back now would be the ultimate denial of her sacrifice.

The person she saw come out however was not who she expected at all. A man who appeared her age stepped out of the elevator with a frightening air of familiarity. If it wasn't enough to indicate who he might have been, the sight of her cross on his neck was all the indication she needed to determine who it was that came back to her.

While the gunshot was still present from her earlier attack, Misato found herself with a newfound sense of elation from his appearance. It had to mean the worst of the world's greatest terrors were defeated. It had to mean he was triumphant and changed both figuratively and literally for such a victory to be possible.

Hoping to earn confirmation of who he was she ventured to ask, "...Shinji?"

The man in question revealed, "It's me Misato. I'm here for you."

Hearing his voice made her forget whatever approach to death she was facing before standing up to ask, "You... You really... came back... What... for?"

Shinji took her by the shoulders to answer, "I came back to do the rest... Just like we promised."

Neither of them had a chance to discuss the how's or why's of the situation as Shinji returned that favor Misato gave him before. An adult kiss. A confirmation of a life the two of them would have together.

A/N: Whew. That's one way to summarize it. This chapter was honestly something I considered penultimate with everything I had before and I can do my best breaking it all down.

So, did Third Impact happen after all? I pretty much wanted to leave that part up to interpretation.

If you want a frame of reference for the last scene in that setting, I was actually inspired by this picture by yaomo fu ti on danbooru. If you search you should be able to find it and it was one of the images that really inspired me to work to this point.

And yes, it took up to this point, but I finally managed to get Shinji to say, "I love you." This was one scene that I really felt like needed as deep as possible before getting either him or Misato to finally say it. Really a big part of it is that I also didn't want to cheapen the phrase either by saying it too early or during a scene where they're rightfully paranoid everything could all fall apart again. I like to think it's a worthwhile aspiration in a romance story like this one as well but that's just one approach I imagine.

If you read the reviews section at all, you might have read one from parasiticsquid how the work in making this sort of scene possible would require a lot. I like to think that at least quantitatively I managed to pull it off in regard to these two. There's probably a lot of implications I'm overlooking and letting run loose in this iteration of the Eva world, but I would say that at least I allowed the main goal of the fic to be fulfilled.

Finally, the reference for the final scene of the chapter. The reference for this one comes from phlogiston01 which should be viewable on Twitter or Reddit. I remember reading a comment, it might have been from phlogiston01 if I'm remembering correctly, saying they wished the scene was in Thrice Upon a Time and honestly that's how I ended up feeling as well. It was another scene that motivated me to take up this project and now I just hope I did it justice in this context.

So, is it all done now? I guess this chapter could qualify as an ending if you feel satisfied enough. The other two are going to essentially be an epilogue episode with more scenes I wanted to realize in fanfic form.

I hope to see you all for them at least because these are some of the scenes that I really want as many people as possible to enjoy especially now that most of the conflicting parts have been resolved. They should be enough to wrap up the arcs of some of the other characters as well if that's what you're holding your breath for. So that should be everything to prepare you all and I hope to see you when those chapters are out.