Despite her strong proclamation in front of Zuzu, whose pale face she'd not be forgetting anytime soon, she found that the courage was leaving her the closer she got to school. While her intention remained the same, she would be apologizing, her actions the night before were catching up to her quickly.
She had been running on mostly adrenaline till this point, and the boost that gave her was finite. Two hours of sleep, aching muscles, and an epiphany about her relationship with her friends (they were friends, not subordinates) left her with little energy. Despite that, she trudged on.
Like previous days as she walked through the courtyard, she was without company, something she hoped would be rectified soon enough. Making her way to her specified room, she didn't hesitate like in previous days and marched through the door. She felt more assured than she had in a while.
Spotting her friends at their usual place, she walked forward with determination burning in her veins with greater intensity than the dragon's mesmerizing fire. She'd have to be sure to see it again…
Shaking her head at the tangent her mind went on, she took a seat next to Mai and looked at her intently. She had originally been nervous to do this in the classroom. While not full it also wasn't empty, and eyes had a habit of following her. But, as she stared at Mai's bandaged hand, she knew that she could not put this off any longer.
"Mai," She started, making sure the other girl met her gaze, something that had been a rarity the last few days. When Mai did so, Azula took a deep breath and continued. "I'm sorry for what I did…"
Azula knew that Mai could probably recognize the sincerity in her words, but she needed to be sure. This wasn't a servant… this was her friend, one of the only two she had.
With that in mind, she bowed her head, something the prideful princess had only done for the Firelord, both Azulon and her father.
"For the burn, but also how I treated you." Azula took another deep breath and raised her head, meeting Ty Lee's wide eyes. "I apologize to both of you. I… I'm not great at this, but you need to know. I've treated you like servants, but you're not…"
It pained Azula to admit she was not good at something, she took great pride in her title as a prodigy, but she had found that the title did little else but weigh her down since this rift had grown between them.
"You are my friends… and I need you to know that," Azula paused, ready to continue despite feeling at a loss for words, but before she could a hand found hers. She looked up, her eyes widening as she saw the largest smile (which wasn't very large) she had ever seen on Mai's face.
"I accept your apology," she said simply. To others, it may not have been much, but from the normally silent, Mai it was everything. Azula felt a great weight that she hadn't known was there lift from her shoulders, reciprocating Mai's smile with a real one of her own. They silently held each other's gaze as Mai's hand squeezed slightly Azula's…
Until they were interrupted by a loud squeal, drawing not just their attention, but the now full classrooms as well. Azula felt herself being glomped by Ty Lee and looked over to see Mai in the same boat. Normally Azula would push Ty Lee off, but this time…
Azula laughed, a soft but real laugh, something that she hadn't felt happen since Lu Ten had slipped and fallen in water during a game of hide and seek. She felt rather than saw her friend's surprised gazes on her as she slowly returned the hug, her arms awkwardly wrapped in the threeway hug.
"Alright now, settle down." The teacher said, her gaze full of amusement and a not-insignificant amount of shock as she walked into this scene.
The three girls quickly righted themselves, ignoring the whispering of those around them. They sat down, closer together than they usually did before the incident, which caused Azula to smile.
"Friends were a weakness," was what her father said. She had struggled to see the truth in that before, but now she knew that those words were wrong. The feeling of dread and the burden of her new roles that had been eating at her felt more manageable now.
She didn't like her uncle, she mused to herself, but Azula supposed he could sometimes be right. The same night her father had said those words to her, her uncle had told her that "Every weakness contains within itself a strength."
This was the strongest she had felt in a while.
Line Break
As good as the school day had been, better than ever really, Azula could feel exhaustion creeping up on her. It was fortunate that the only extracurricular she had today was bending, which had a habit of energizing her.
As she stood in front of Lo and Li, she went through the set she had been working on, a new advanced form that had given many ambitious benders trouble. She felt herself calm, pushing the exhaustion she felt behind her, knowing that she would be able to get a nap in before dinner. As she focused her breathing she could feel her flame's intense.
She started flowing through the set. The movements had been burned into her brain yesterday in a theoretical session, so all she had to do was add the fire. It was surprisingly easy.
Her fire had always been intense, but last night it had been different. She had sensed the fire that burned within the dragon, she had resonated with it. She couldn't forget the feeling. She had lost herself in the joy that was firebending, ignoring the rigidity of her training, her father's rising expectations, and even her own need for perfection. It had been liberating.
It was easy to lose herself like that again, the exhaustion she felt wasn't exactly conducive to high-functioning thought, but also because it was fun. She felt a smile grace her face as she finished. She looked at the indistinguishable twins, waiting for their verdict.
"Impressive…" Li, or was that Lo, started.
"Perfect…" The other continued.
"No Misstep…"
"No Stumble"
Azula wondered if they did this on purpose as she felt clear deja vu from only a couple of days ago. She shook her head, accepting the dismissal and getting ready for a well-deserved nap.
It was odd, she mused to herself. Only a few days ago the decree that she was perfect would have had her joyful, knowing that father would be pleased. Now though… it was almost as though the accomplishment lost its luster when they commented on her form.
Perfection still felt good, the feeling after she had finished made that evident, but it was the feeling she had while bending that felt truly rewarding. Perfection was something that her father had always demanded, from her, from her brother, from the staff. She and Zuko had tried their best to meet that standard, with failure being experienced by both, if to a different degree. It made her wonder…
As she opened the door to her room and prepared a bath, knowing she would regret napping as she currently was, she contemplated her father's expectations.
She didn't question him often, she had seen what talking back resulted in for Zuko, but she couldn't stop from doing that now. For the first time, she was starting to doubt him in some ways.
The first, and biggest, was his view on friendship. Following his words she had almost caused irreparable damage to her relationship with her friends, something she now knew she truly needed. The feeling of joy she had felt today while with them had been rejuvenating. If it was a weakness to feel that way, then so be it. She was feeling stronger than ever.
The next was her bending. Perfection was a necessity he had taught her, but that didn't feel true. After experiencing what she did with her flame, aspiring for perfection felt almost pointless. She had always loved fire, and striving to be perfect had almost made her forget that.
Finally, there was the dragon, something she still didn't know what to think of. Her father had spoken of dragons with distaste, disregarding them as beasts while disparaging Iroh's title. Thinking back on the young dragon and its blue flame, she couldn't do the same. It had been magnificent.
She sighed to herself, stepping out of the bath and preparing for a nap. As she lay in bed she thought about the dragon. While the experience had been terrifying she couldn't help but want to see it again. She had little doubt that if her father knew of it, he would have the 'beast' killed.
She couldn't allow that. Father had taught her that the ability to lie was necessary for a member of the royal family, something Zuko lacked. She wondered if he ever considered she'd lie to him.
Line Break
Dinner had been silent as usual, though her father had recognized her today for her exemplary firebending. She doubted he'd have done that if he knew what she was doing tonight.
Sneaking out was child's play, literally, seeing as she was a child. She would have considered informing her father about adjusting the security of the palace, but that would make things rather difficult for her. Casting those thoughts from her mind, she started heading towards the clearing.
While she was sure that she could remember the way to the clearing without trying to sense fire, she did it anyway. The feeling was indescribable, and it was becoming much easier to do. Considering that she had only done this for a day, she wondered how far she could take this ability. She was always excited to learn more about firebending.
She felt the fire in the same place as last time, causing her to hurry towards the clearing. Now logically, she knew this was a stupid thing to do. Had the dragon wanted her dead yesterday, it would have happened, but looking ahead she felt no small amount of joy. This was a dragon! Possibly the last dragon, though she had doubts that was the case, and she didn't want to miss an opportunity like this.
She slowed as she reached the clearing, trying to silence her footsteps as she got near. She remembered how the dragon reacted to her snapping the twig. She would prefer a similar sequence didn't happen. As she reached behind the same tree as yesterday, she peered out again.
The dragon was lying on its side, the wing she thought injured stretched out awkwardly. She wondered what was wrong with it, but figured she should do her best to not make the dragon feel vulnerable and snappy. Taking a deep breath, she stepped out slowly and quietly. This was (obviously) dangerous, so she needed to be cautious.
The dragon instantly snapped its head towards her, growling as it stood up. The sight was intimidating for sure, but the wing jutting out the wrong way sort of ruined the image.
"Hi there," she started softly, trying to keep her voice as unassertive as she could, something she had rarely done before. "It's me, from yesterday" she murmured, inching closer.
The dragon raised its head, growling as she made her approach. It clearly had a mistrust for humans. She idly wondered if that was natural for a dragon, or if it had a reason to be wary. She didn't know, but she did take its warning seriously. She stopped several meters from the dragons, giving them both space.
She slowly moved her hands into a less intimidating position, something she hoped the dragon noticed since she still had a small flame burning in her hand. She didn't want to challenge the creature, hurt or not.
The dragon was still staring at her, not letting its guard down even as she crouched to make herself seem smaller. She hadn't expected the dragon to accept her immediately, or at all, but she hoped that it would at least not try to view her as competition. Or worse.
Dinner.
"I'm not here to hurt you," she said softly, ignoring the voice in her head that told her she couldn't hurt it if she had wanted to. "I just wanted to see you again."
The dragon slightly tilted its head, which gave Azula some pause. Had the dragon recognized she didn't mean to harm it by her tone, or had it possibly been able to understand her words… she tried to banish the (absurd) thought from her head, but she couldn't. Maybe…
"You looked incredible last night," she said, noticing the face noodles (what were those) twitch. "I just had to see you again…?" She felt quite stupid. While nothing she said was false per se, she didn't think she would be trying to flatter a dragon.
She especially didn't expect it to work.
She watched in an odd mix of awe and perplexion as the dragon drew itself up higher. She had thought it was going to attack her for a second, but instead, it looked like it was… preening? Had the dragon understood her words? Did it drop its guard because she complimented it!?
What an arrogant dragon! Oddly enough she found the sight of the proud dragon preening at her praise oddly endearing.
Bolstered by the young dragon's response, she softly moved towards it, keeping her body language as disarming as possible. "Your fire was magnificent, and you looked very…" Handsome? Beautiful? Was it a boy or a girl? She hadn't planned this far, and she hadn't expected a dragon who enjoyed praise. "Cool?" she finished lamely.
The dragon didn't seem to care about her lackluster finish either way, it went back to staring at her as she approached, but this time the dragon seemed less hesitant. She couldn't help but think it was slightly naive, but she welcomed that trait. She was almost within reaching distance now.
Slowly she raised her hand, dearly hoping the dragon wouldn't chomp down on it. The dragon's eyes followed the limb's motion as it stopped a few inches from its eyes. She would let it breach the last of the distance itself. Slowly she saw the dragon's gaze rise from her outstretched hand to her eyes. She found she couldn't look away.
Like the night before, she felt herself transfixed. She didn't know how to describe the feeling, but it felt like there was something in between her and this wonderful creature. She felt like she could hide nothing like her soul was on display. The most surprising thing was that she found she didn't care. No more than that.
It felt good.
It was like she was being seen in her entirety like it cared only about who she was. She wasn't a princess, or a prodigy, or a monster before its gaze. She was just Azula.
And it seemed like that was enough.
The dragon's head slowly moved towards her outstretched hand, their eyes remaining locked as she felt the scales and soft fur press into her hand.
She felt like she wanted to cry, shout excitedly, or even dance (she really should make sure to not be infected by Ty Lee's habits), but instead, she just settled for a smile. Like when she saw the blue flames yesterday, it felt like there was nothing wrong with the world. Nothing could ruin this moment…
Until a loud growl came from the dragon.
Azula blinked slowly, watching in befuddlement as the dragon mirrored her wide-eyed look. That sound hadn't come from its throat like before. It sounded like…
As one they looked down at the dragon's stomach, which rumbled again, somehow sounding more menacing than when it had been warning her. Azula hadn't ever thought she would see a dragon. She hadn't thought she would ever see such a prideful one. But she especially never thought she would see a dragon with such a pathetic look on its face.
The dragon's head was bowed, its eyes wide, and she was sure if the creature could blush through its black scales, it would have. This was kinda sad…
Azula, despite the odd circumstances, found herself laughing. It was odd. She had been doing this a lot lately. She'd take it as a good thing.
The dragon didn't seem to agree with her humor. It growled from its throat, though she somehow recognized it as playful, and it nudged her chest with its head. She smiled, calming down slightly, and pat the creature's head softly.
"I suppose it must be difficult to get food around here," Azula mused quietly, analyzing the clearing in more detail. She couldn't see any signs of life, outside of the odd bird that was in the trees, which the dragon couldn't access with its currently injured wing.
It wasn't surprising how little life was around. This was the Fire Nation's capital, wooded areas like this were scarce, and most wildlife had long since migrated or perished. It worried her.
The dragon was wary of humans, even though it had accepted her rather quickly. She didn't know why, but the fact remained. It knew people were a danger, that was the only reason she could think of for why the dragon hadn't moved from this one spot. If it waited here it avoided the risk of discovery, but it likely wouldn't be able to sustain itself…
Not without help at least.
She looked at the beautiful (and pitiful) creature that was nuzzling her chest. She couldn't explain why, but she felt a connection between them, even with the little time they had spent together. It would be difficult, and she tried not to imagine the punishment should she be caught.
But she knew she couldn't turn it away.
"Only here for a day, and you're already causing problems," She said softly, smiling as the dragon whined in anger. "I suppose I could try to help you out. It wouldn't do for such a large lizard to starve out here.
The dragon did not like that comment. She felt herself fall as the dragon nudged her more harshly. She tried glaring at the offending dragon (after she had offered her help no less!), but couldn't help the wry smile that found its way to her lips as the young dragon tried (and failed) to act innocent.
She sighed, wondering what she had gotten herself into.
Line Break
It turns out that stealing food from the palace was much easier than she had thought it would be.
She had gone back to the palace not long after she had promised to help the dragon, knowing that she needed to sleep now that she had yet another activity to have to her day. Dragon caregiving.
'How exciting,' she thought to herself, as she made her way to class that day.
After the emotional talk with her friends yesterday, she had thought there would be a slight awkwardness between them, but she found the opposite to be true. Ty Lee had greeted her exuberantly as was normal, and Mai with a slight nod, a tiny smile tugging at her lips. It seemed that Mai was doing that more lately.
Azula felt an oddly warm feeling in her chest at the thought that she may be the cause.
The day had gone without much fanfare, and Azula found her way back to the palace. It was as she was going through war strategy tutoring, that she contemplated the task she had given herself.
She had no idea what she was doing.
Azula rarely did things without a plan, though she found she was also excellent at adjusting to things on the fly.
Her not being dragon food was evidence of that.
Back to the point, she needed to think things through. She knew that entering and exiting the kitchens and supply rooms, would not be difficult. She and Zuko had spent quite a lot of time exploring the palace for secret tunnels, which was serving her well yet again.
Getting food shouldn't be a problem. She had seen the supply rooms several times during hide-and-seek. They had never been close to empty.
The royal family was rich, likely the richest family in the world, what with their nation having some level of control over most of the known world, outside of the poles. Food was never in short supply, and much of it went to waste. Something that was bound to happen more now seeing as only three members (two of which were children) remained in the palace.
They wouldn't notice anything missing, even with a (likely growing) dragon added to the meal plan.
The real issue was she didn't know what a dragon's diet included. While she had read much about dragons, it was more focused on their great accomplishments and contributions to the Fire Nation.
She hadn't thought she'd ever have to feed one. "Silly me," she grumbled to herself as she stalked through the palace library, towards the section dedicated to dragons.
Before the dragon hunts that her great-grandfather started, dragons had been a protected species of the Fire Nation, almost like large, scaly citizens in a way. Because of this, knowledge of their needs wasn't particularly difficult to find, but she'd have to be careful. She didn't want knowledge of her reading material to get back to her father.
She had only known the dragon for a short time, not even knowing its gender or its (if it had one) name, but she refused to be the reason it got caught, or worse…
Banishing the grim thoughts from her mind, she perused the aisle, grabbing a few books on their history, physiology, and anatomy. She knew could pass these off as curiosity, after all, who didn't think flying lizards were cool?
She tried to ignore that it was her family that had led to the species' demise.
After a few minutes, she came across 'How to Care for a Dragon'.
'Rather on the nose, but at least it's concise,' she mused to herself. Having what she needed, she went to an isolated corner, expertly avoiding the eyes of the librarian and library aides. She found the entrance she was looking for and left through the tunnel the way she came in.
Line Break
"I hate this already," she mused to herself, as she stumbled along the path to the clearing, a basket nearly the size of her body strapped to her back.
The book she had skimmed, while dry, was clear on what a dragon should eat. The various fish and animal meats she found in the palace should work, though trials and observation would be needed to understand what the dragon liked best.
She paused at the thought, and to gather herself (the basket was heavy). She felt a connection to the dragon already, that much was clear to her, but to go through the extra work to make the dragon comfortable and happy?
Her father would scoff, but she was sure Ty Lee would encourage her. Between the two, Azula knew she felt more comfortable with Ty Lee, especially in recent months. She tried to move past the thought, knowing that it was dangerous but she couldn't completely ignore it.
It settled in the back of her mind, where she knew other similar thoughts we gathering quickly. She would have to temper them lest Father finds out, he hadn't been very forgiving when Zuko loudly expressed similar sentiments to Mother.
She carried on quickly, knowing that she wanted to be rid of this basket as soon as possible.
She found the clearing easily without her new sensing technique (which she would need to consult the library about), not feeling like taking the extra time when she was carrying more than her body weight on her back.
She entered the clearing, snapping a twig on purpose to get the dragon's attention. Best not to try to surprise it when she surely smelled of food. Her nose wrinkled at the thought.
She spotted the dragon quickly. Her face, which had just yesterday been, mesmerized by the dragon was entirely unimpressed.
"You have got to be kidding me," she said while scoffing, making her way to the dragon that was on its back, looking up at her like a baby tigerdillo, its eyes wide and pathetic. "Surely you're overreacting."
The dragon mewled, actually mewled, at her, as it slowly made its way to its feet. As sad as she thought the whole act was, she couldn't help but feel pity grow in her at the large eyes it made at her.
Damn, this lizard for looking so endearing (read: cute).
"Yes yes, I have your food," She rolled her eyes, letting the basket off her back and rolling her shoulders. "Go ahead and dig in," she said as she took the lid off.
The dragon didn't hesitate, running to the basket and digging in. She couldn't help but feel slightly bad. The dragon hadn't eaten in at least two days, possibly more. She was glad that she could help it, even if she knew she'd have to carry that infernal basket several more times.
She ignored the thought that her father would have called her soft for her actions.
She sat down across from the dragon, allowing it to eat as she observed it. She still didn't know its gender, and calling it dragon felt wrong. She wouldn't like to be referred to as just 'human' after all.
Her musings were cut short when a fish landed in front of her. She eyed it for a second before slowly looking up, meeting the dragon's (cheery she somehow knew) gaze with her own unimpressed one.
They held the staring contest for a second, before Azula picked the fish up, offering it back to the dragon. She sincerely hoped it wasn't asking her to do what she thought it was…
Her hopes were dashed when the dragon flicked its head towards her, the meaning universal even between species.
She scoffed, a wry smile on her lips. "No, this is for you," she said, as though she were talking to a toddler. For all she knew the dragon was one. She'd have to look into that physiology book when given spare time.
The dragon didn't move to take the food, it just made another flicking motion with its head.
"I am not hungry…" She said slowly, feeling foolish as she patted her stomach. She put the fish down, content to leave it there when she left. A whimpering sound made her look up.
Azula had seen Ty Lee make the expression enough times to understand what the dragon was trying to do. Its eyes had widened, and had a glimmer to them. If she were weaker she would call them adorable. Ty Lee had never made her bend to those eyes and she wouldn't start now…
Is what she would have liked to believe. For some reason the expression on this dragon, whether because of the absurdity of the situation or some other blasted reason, was breaking down her considerable fortitude at a terrifying rate. She found it almost impossible to look away.
"I am not eating a raw fish," she said, the authority she tried to put in her voice sorely lacking. The dragon's eyes widened and she was truly starting to worry about her mental state when she started to consider the absurd request.
Not finding the will to refuse the dragon, but also knowing she wouldn't ever eat the fish raw, she sighed to herself as she looked at the fish. She slowly formed a flame in her hand, careful to make sure the dragon wasn't threatened by the motion and started cooking the fish.
Azula had never cooked before and she had gone her whole life thinking she would never have to. She was a princess after all, and princesses don't cook their food, especially in the woods. Unfortunately, she had never taken into account that she would be swayed by a dragon.
She didn't know how to cook, which was evident by the time she finished. In some parts, the fish looked burnt, while in others the fish was still clearly cold. It seemed she didn't distribute the heat evenly. She'd have to work on that next time…
She banished that thought quickly and ruthlessly once she had taken a bite out of the fish, glaring at the dragon all the while. This was awful! There was no seasoning, the fish had been whole (the eye was looking at her as she ate), and the smell was terrible. She struggled not to gag and started thinking of ways to kill the dragon when it made a gulping motion.
The nerve of this Lizard!
Despite herself, she did swallow the bite. She once again offered the fish to the dragon who took it this time eating it without the struggle she did. Her look was withering when she saw the facsimile of a smile the dragon gave her.
After a minute though, the absurdity of the situation hit her and she found herself laughing. This was not how she had imagined her life would turn out but here she was! Sharing a (awful) dinner with a dragon, hidden away in a forest. She paused when she heard the dragon in question make a strange noise.
She watched incredulously as the dragon attempted to mirror her laugh, the sound guttural and frankly disturbing. Still bewildered she snorted to herself in amusement, the action so odd that it started another laughing fit that the dragon mirrored.
Before she knew it she was out of breath, her side in pain, as she lay on the grass in the clearing, the dragon lying next to her. She didn't know how long she had laughed, but she was still struggling to recover. As she tried to moderate her breathing she looked up at the dragon that was next to her and met its gaze.
As she looked at the dragon, its injured wing awkwardly held away from the ground, she knew that she had already dug herself in deep. Despite the trouble that it could bring, and the stress of such a large responsibility and secret, she knew she would be sticking by this dragon.
She really did need a name for it though.