Hello everyone! I'm excited to be back with another chapter. This one is a holiday special and is the first story I wrote start to finish in a single afternoon! I think it's definitely one of my favorites :) I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do!
A huge thank you for Emma Winchester 424 for her expertise in editing and being amazingly supportive! Happy Birthday to Emma! Be sure to head on over and check out her stories, too!
Thank you all for another year of support, encouragement, and love! I hope everyone has an amazing holiday season and a fabulous new year!
Dean- 11
Sam-7
Katie- 3
The second John Winchester stepped foot in the store, he immediately regretted his decision to come. The department store at the local mall was busy with holiday shoppers now that Christmas was only a week away. John had never been one for crowded locations, much less dragging his three kids along to shop. But desperate times called for uncomfortable situations. It was a Friday night, the boys were tired from a long week at school and Katie was already in an exhausted and grumpy mood, having refused to take a nap this afternoon at the sitter's. It was all the ingredients for a disaster. But there was a rather large sale on children's clothing this weekend and for once (maybe it was all the holiday spirit in the air), John decided he wanted to get the kids some much needed new clothes. And this was the only way to do it.
John stood right inside the doors, taking in his surroundings like this was any other job he was on. He was here on a mission—get in, purchase, and retreat like a bat out of hell. Noticing the busy people shuffling around, he commanded as he scanned the store for a sign to their department, "Stay close, boys."
Without even needing to look at them, he heard Dean reply with a quiet but obedient "Yes, sir."
However, before they were even two feet in the store, Katie, who was standing at her father's side, spoke up with a complaint, "Daddy, I'm hungry."
Kids Clothing with an arrow pointing right…John had finally spotted what he needed. He reached down and gripped onto his youngest's hand. "Not supper time yet, kiddo. We'll eat later," he replied simply, already taking off toward their section, glancing over his shoulder to make sure the others weren't more than a few steps behind him. They knew better by now.
Katie had to almost jog to keep up with her father's rapid and determined pace. "You walk too super fast!" she announced. Not wasting another second of his precious time, John reached down and picked her up effortlessly, all while keeping stride. He placed her on his hip, which she immediately protested by squirming to get out of his constraint. "But I wanna walk!"
John only gripped her tighter to send his message, but when she still tried to fight it, he reminded her in a low tone, "Be good or we'll go back out to the car." That hidden threat immediately shut down her protesting. They knew what he meant. All three Winchester kids were very aware of John's zero tolerance policy when it came to misbehaving, especially in public. But a tired and cranky little girl was slowly forgetting this. She might have stopped squirming, but that didn't keep the frown from her face.
In record time, they made it to the boys clothing, where shirts and pants were lined in racks and neatly folded on stands all over. Man, how he missed Mary. She'd always been the one to navigate these danger zones and foreign lands with such grace and patience. But now, in John's attempt to save money and still give something nice to his kids this year, he was forced into it. He swallowed the pang in his heart, even though it'd been over three years since she'd passed. He needed to buck up and get this done like any other mission. He didn't have time to reflect or feel or whatever it was real people did around the holidays. He had more important crap to do.
"Dean," he said firmly.
Suddenly the eldest appeared in front of him with Sam on his trail. "Yes, sir?"
John gave him a quick approving nod at his politeness. "Listen up." Orders were about to be given. Dean tuned his ear to hang on every word his father was about to say. "You boys need to find about three shirts and a few jeans. Bring some different sizes to try on because these need to last." He was going to make sure the majority of the clothing was slightly oversized so they had room to grow. "Gather it up and meet me over there." He pointed toward the girl's section across the aisle. "We'll all go try stuff on." He looked between the two boys. "No messing around or getting distracted, got it?" They might have been well-behaved boys, but there were still boys. And boys had a tendency to horse around.
"Got it, Dad," Dean affirmed with a nod.
When John's attention shifted to Sam, he also nodded his head vigorously, accepting their instructions. Without wasting another moment, Dean grabbed onto Sam's wrist and started dragging him into the rows of clothing. "Come on, Sammy. We got work to do."
The father fully trusted that his boys would be fine and complete their tasks on par. They had to divide and conquer if he wanted to get out of this place before their bed time.
He turned to Katie still in his arms. "And we're going to find you some clothes." He turned on his heel and marched across the aisle to his worst nightmare—frills, pink glitter, unicorns—the whole nine yards surrounded him.
"Daddy, can I walk pleeeeeeease? I wanna see clothes, too." Her pleading green eyes were enough to make him give in, but he internally reasoned it as him not caving in, but rather being practical in the matter—he'd have to let her down eventually because he couldn't hold her and the clothing at once.
He gently placed her back on the ground, but stayed hunched over, saying directly to her. "You know the rules: No running off and you stay right next to me, okay?"
With her million-watt smile, she declared, "Okie dokie."
Satisfied with her answer, he quickly glanced the section until he spotted the area where the big sales were. He weaved in and out of people and racks with Katie closely behind until they arrived at a table where there were various solid colored long sleeve t-shirts scattered all over as if they'd been picked through all day and the employees gave up on trying to refold them. Okay, this can't be that hard, he inwardly consoled himself as he prepared to dig through the mess.
Katie stood on her tippy toes with her hands pried to the top of the table as she attempted to pull herself up, wanting to see everything. It was like an explosion of colorful shirts. "I like purple and green and blue and red and yellow and purple!"
"That's a lot of colors, munchkin," he commented nonchalantly as he reached over and pulled back the neck of her shirt, not even knowing what size she was currently wearing. Katie didn't even flinch as she continued to take in the mountain of shirts.
"Can I have all the colors, please?"
3T. Okay, find shirts in that size and larger, then we're done. John nodded to no one in particular and began his hunt. "No, not all of them, only three."
"Three?!" she screeched in shock.
"Yes, three. Here," he replied, handing her a plain purple shirt in her size that he happened to land upon right away, thus shutting down her conversation and complaint.
As he continued to scour the table, Katie turned around to see what else there was to stare at since her dad clearly wasn't going to talk or play with her. To her surprise, she found another little girl about her age standing behind her. Contrary to her personality a decade later, her ever-friendly self was always eager to make friends. She waved to the girl and said, "Hi, my name is Katelyn Elizabeth Winchester. What's yours?"
The girl returned the wave. "I'm Nora Marie Cook. I'm shopping with my mommy." She pointed to the woman on the other side of the rack, who was clearly on a mission to find an outfit.
"That's my daddy." She motioned to the man beside her. When John didn't say anything, she gently tugged on his jeans to get his attention. "Daddy, this is my new friend Nora."
He politely greeted her and forced a half smile before refocusing his attention, although he was thankful that his daughter had found a distraction from annoying him.
Suddenly Nora noticed the shirt in her hand. "What is it?" She reached out and patted the purple fabric.
Katie proudly opened it up and held it in front of her chest. "It's a shirt I gets to buy."
"I like purple," the girl commented with a grin.
"Me too. It's my most favoritest color. My big brother says it's a sissy color," Katie explained.
"What 'sissy' mean?" her friend asked innocently.
Overhearing their conversation, John was milliseconds from jumping in, deathly afraid of what might come out of Katie's mouth, but he was too slow.
"I think it means only sisters can wear it."
John let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding.
"Oh, that makes sense," Nora agreed, fully accepting the explanation like it was fact.
He made a mental note to talk to Dean about his choice of words around Katie a she was starting to absorb everything like a sponge these days. He sighed before getting back to work. How freaking hard was it to find the right damn size in these shirts?!
Katie noticed her friend had a shirt on a hanger in her hand. She stared at it and returned the favor by asking, "What do you gots?"
With a flick of the hair, she turned her shirt around so Katie could see the front. It was a gray long sleeved shirt that had various animals all over the front. Katie's eyes went wide. "Wooooow. There's monkeys, fishies, turtles, and—"
She interrupted, "And lizards and koala bears and elephants." She grinned, proud that she knew the more 'complex' animals.
Katie was left so in awe of the shirt that she knew she had to have it, too. It was like the holy grail of all shirts for a three year old. She reached back and tugged on her father's jeans again. When he mumbled a yes, she announced, "I need to have that shirt, Daddy." She pointed to the collage of animals on her friend's top.
John quickly scanned the shirt and then looked at the racks around until he spotted it—inconveniently located on a rack without any discount. It was out of the question. "Not this time, Katie," he replied, handing her another identical shirt to the first, only in yellow this time.
"But I want that shirt," she pleaded.
"We all want things we can't have," he replied matter of factly as his search for the last larger sized shirt became more urgent.
"But I need that shirt, Daddy!" Her voice was now about two level too high for John, but she wasn't quite shouting yet as her cranky side started to show.
In one swift movement he knelt down in front of her, inches from her face. "What you need to do is be good. No means no. I'm not telling you again."
His stern words and expression made tears fill her eyes as her bottom lip quivered at the scolding.
Nora's mom instantly picked up on the scene that was about to unfold and felt awful that her daughter had inadvertently provoked the outburst. The mom quickly gathered up her daughter and threw John a very apologetic look before they disappeared, not wanting to do any more damage to this poor man who was clearly already on edge and looked awfully out of place there.
As Katie's lip trembled, she felt the need to explain, "But that shirt gots animals. I love animals. Look," she held up her shirt, "No animals here."
John's heart did hurt—it really did. He never showed that side of him on the outside, but it was there. If anyone thought that he wouldn't love to give his kids the basic necessities they wanted, they were crazy. But it just wasn't in the cards for them right now. And he most definitely wasn't about to let her be this disrespectful. He raised his kids better than that.
"I know you like animals. But you aren't getting that shirt. These," he placed the final pink shirt he'd found in her hands, "are the shirts you're getting. End of story." He was completely done with this conversation and his daughter should know it by now.
Her eyes darted between the shirt he just gave her and his stern face. She was conflicted for a moment, but her sleep-deprived side took over and the tears began to pour. "But I don't even like PINK!" She threw all the shirts on the floor, stomped her foot, and crossed her arms.
John was at first taken back by her outburst at the color pink—was it actually true or was this her grumpy side overreacting to everything? He didn't have time to dwell on that as he instantly knelt down again, and gripping onto her upper arm, he landed a firm swat on her backside, eliciting a stunned cry from his youngest as the tears soon followed. Normally this kind of behavior would be met with a few swats, but after the first, John suddenly became aware of all the lingering eyes on them at that moment, all the judging soccer moms around him were waiting to see if he'd actually do that in public.
He had a choice, one that had to be decided in a matter of seconds. He could do what he planned to right now and risk one of these desperate housewives calling child services on him. No, it was not worth the risk. Or he could drag Katie out to the car or off to a dressing room and take care of business, but that meant the boys would be left alone and what if they came looking for him? That option was clearly out, too.
The pressuring eyes around him left him with only one choice. He leaned in even closer to her and in a very low voice so only she could hear, he threatened, "You knock it off right now, Katelyn, or you'll be sorry when we get home." Her cries started to subside, but the tears and sniffles were still going strong as she rubbed her bottom.
"Daddy, that hurt," she whimpered, even though he'd never hit her hard enough to cause any real pain.
Before John could tell her that he'd give her something to cry about, Katie's cries had been enough to draw even the attention of a store employee. Out of nowhere came a slender elderly woman with gray hair tied back in a bun dressed in the store uniform. The nametag clearly labeled her as Grace. She saw the little one crying and John's veins about to burst and against her better judgement of getting involved with family matters, she decided to intervene. She felt bad for the poor father who seemed to be completely out of place in this store. She thought she'd do him a favor—it was Christmas after all.
Grace held up a hand to John as if to say, let me try this. She knelt down next to the crying girl and said, "I'm sorry you're sad, sweetie, but remember you have to be on your best behavior to go see Santa."
John was completely taken back by the audacity this woman had to step into their lives. Clearly she did not know him and the evil daggers he was shooting out of his eyes didn't make her run in fear either.
All of Katie's emotions came to a halt and she stared at the woman's remark. All 'pain' and sadness was immediately forgotten. She asked with wide eyes, shock clear in her voice. "Santa's here?!"
Grace smiled gently at her, looking over to John, expecting him to return the smile at helping to get her calmed down, but she was met with a scowl. She tried to shrug it off and focus on the little one. "Why, yes. Santa's here in the mall, waiting to see all the good little boys and girls."
It was like Katie had learned a whole new world existed. "I've never met Santa before," she stated.
"You haven't? Well then, sweetie, you'll want to make sure to be on your best behavior so you can. Right, Dad?" She turned to John for his support.
John's jawline was stiff and his eyes narrowed. The hopeful gaze from his daughter and the woman were boring into him, added with all the other watchful eyes around them in this store. He was literally trapped. Trapped in a world that was so foreign to him that he wanted to curse at the top of his lungs and grab his kids to escape. However, none of this even showed across his facial expression. Through clenched teeth and his better judgement, he forced himself to reply, "Yes."
If it was even possible for Katie's eyes to grow wider, they did. She launched herself at John, almost causing him to tip over from his crouched down position. "Thank you, Daddy!" she squealed with delight. "I'm so sorry. I'll be extra good now!" She let go of him and went to pick up the clothes she'd thrown on the floor. "I reeeeeally wanna meet Santa! I even be reeeal good and wear the pink shirt." She held it up for him to see. She blinked as she stared at him, waiting for a reply.
Before he could say anything, Grace gave him a gentle smile that said "you're welcome" before she disappeared off into the crowd, probably to ruin some other unexpected parent's life, John thought.
He let out the largest sigh he had all day. On the positive side, his daughter was now listening to him and there weren't any more tears or pubic outbursts. But on the other side of things, that evil woman had did the ultimate "no" in his book and bribed his kid. He was now forced to accept they'd probably have to go see Santa inside the mall. At that moment though, Katie's words finally sunk in—she wanted to meet Santa…why? Oh yeah, that's because she was the only one of his kids who'd never had a chance with Mary to go to the mall and see Santa and this little munchkin was apparently the only one who still believed in the jolly giant in their family. As much as he still wanted to scold her for the little tantrum she pulled, he decided the only option for tonight was just to get on board this with and ride it out. He could give her a talking to about it later.
"Listen, Katelyn." He had her full attention. "You be on your best behavior or it's back to the car, got it?"
She nodded fervently, fully understanding. But she had to add for confirmation, "And if I'm real good?"
He bit his tongue but managed to say, "We'll go find Santa."
She rested her hand on her tummy and said with a deeper voice. "Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!" She giggled. "Daddy, that's what Santa says to everyone."
John tried not to roll his eyes as he stood back up. "I know that," he said flatly, but that didn't deter her new uplifted mood.
"Santa flies all over the world in a magical car. He takes gifts to the good people, like me and you and Deanie and Sammy. And sometimes you don't get what you asked for 'cause Santa runned out of the gift. That's how come last year he didn't get me the toy I wanted," she explained.
That last comment really hit John harder than he'd expected. She said it with such ease, but yet it'd felt like a stab at his inability to provide. He was certain that Dean had made up that lie to help cover for why they hadn't gotten gifts last year. He tried to let it roll off him like everything else about this day, but it was harder than he expected.
She skipped along behind John as they went in search for on-sale jeans. As John desperately searched for pants in her size, she continued to babble on and on about Santa and how good she was acting. Much to his surprise, he found exactly what he wanted on the first try. He grabbed the jeans and scanned the area, hoping the boys were done as well. Just then they appeared around one of the racks.
"Hey, Dad," Dean greeted. "We got everything."
Before John had a chance to say anything, Katie cut in, "Dean, if we extra good, Daddy says we gets to see Santa!"
Dean looked from her to their father, blatant disbelief on his face. There was no way. THE John Winchester did not partake in such festivities, especially with a man he'd referred to as a pagan bastard on more than one occasion. But John just shrugged and half shook his head as if to say yeah, it's true and I can't even believe it myself.
Before they wasted any more time, John ushered all three kids back to a nearby fitting room. They waited in line for a few minutes before a room opened up, luckily one of the larger ones. Amid protests from Sam and Dean about everyone sharing a room, John shoved them all in. He wasn't going to spend any more time waiting for another to open just so they could change alone. Everyone was still young enough that it didn't even matter, especially for Katie.
He instructed all the kids to try on their clothes so he could make sure it was the size he was looking for. John helped Katie get out of her shirt and she continued to babble on.
"Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!" she said louder than necessary, which earned her a hush from her father. "But I Santa Claus. He say Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!"
John grumbled something inaudible but continued to help dress Katie and let her be.
"What do you want for Christmas little boy?" Katie asked in a low "Santa" voice, staring at Dean and clearly repeating something she'd heard in a movie. When Dean didn't respond, she tried again, "De, I Santa. He said 'What do you want for Christmas?'"
Unlike his father, Dean outright rolled his eyes, but decided to oblige her request, otherwise it'd never end. He replied flatly with sarcasm, "My own car."
"Ho, Ho, Ho-kie dokie." She giggled at combining her own phrase with Santa's. She steadied herself with John's arm as he instructed her to step into the pants, but her attention was straight on Sam. "And what do you want for Christmas little boy?"
Sam's only reply was a snarky, "I'm not a little boy."
"But Sammy, I Santa. You are more littler than him, so you a little boy," she reasoned.
Sam turned to his dad for help, but only he shrugged as if to say, sorry, can't fight that logic.
Sam sighed, but forced a reply as he finished taking off his jeans. "Nothing." He disliked all of Katie's silly games and wasn't going to play in them.
However, Katie assumed that Sam was just having trouble thinking of an idea, so she put on her normal voice and suggested, "Maybe you can ask Santa for some more ninja turtles undies." She motioned toward the ones clearly visible below his shirt.
Sam's cheeks burned bright red from embarrassment as he tugged his shirt down, trying to cover them up in the front from her view.
But Katie's head just tilted to the side as she tried to figure out what he was doing. "Me and Santa can still see them in the mirror," she said matter of factly, pointing to the mirror behind him like it was nothing.
"Daaaad," Sam pleaded.
Even though he and Dean were both enjoying the humorous exchange, John decided to step in before they started going at it even more per usual.
"Katie that's enough playing around," he said as a gentle warning.
She frowned. "But Daddy, Santa didn't get to ask you nothing."
He took a deep breath—oh how this little girl tested his patience every second of the day. "Okay, one last question and then you're done."
She grinned as he pulled another shirt off her, satisfied it fit. In a low tone, she said, "Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas! What do you want, big boy?" Changing back to her normal tone, she added, "You're the big boy 'cause your bigger-er than Santa."
John still cringed, not liking that phrase in the slightest, but he wasn't about to explain that to his three-year-old. As he shoved another shirt over her head, he replied without a second thought, "I want all my kids to behave."
"Woooow." She was mesmerized by his response. "You and Santa want the SAME THING! That's cool, Daddy. Cause Santa wants us to be good and then his rundeer will come and….."
She went on and on about every little fact she knew about Santa Claus from the movies she'd been watching on TV.
After what felt like an eternity to all three men, they had finally accomplished their mission. Clothes had been purchased and bagged and they were on their way out of the store into the heart of the mall.
Katie was practically dancing with excitement as they stepped into the main mall and she saw a large sign with a picture of Santa on it. She let go of Dean's hand and ran up to it. "Look, LOOK!" She turned and waited for the others to take the extra two steps to be behind her. "It's Santa!"
John just nodded as he skimmed through the informative sign and let out a grumble.
"What is it?" Dean asked.
"Nothing son, it's just…this guy's on the clear other side of the mall." The world hated John Winchester today. There was no questioning it. Not only did he have to oblige his daughter and take her to see some creepy man dressed as a mythical character, but now he had to lug the three of them through the crowded mall just to get there. He'd rather take a bullet in the foot right now.
Katie grabbed her dad's hand and tugged. "Come on, we gots to get going." She was a woman on a mission.
"Do we have to go, Dad?" Sam asked, clearly ready to just go home.
The father placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder, ignoring Katie's incessant tugging. "Yeah, we do, buddy. How about we stop and get some Chinese from the food court on the way though?" he added, hoping that'd cheer him up.
Katie's ears perked up when she heard him mention stopping to eat along the journey to the North Pole. She quickly stopped tugging and turned to them both, her face as stern as she could muster. "No, no! No food first. We're going to see Santa and the elfies."
Dean stepped in, hoping he could smooth things over so they could just get this whole evening over with quickly and painlessly before John lost his temper. "Yeah, well Dad said we're eating first. So either you be good and do it or Santa won't wait around for you cause you're bad."
Her eyes narrowed in thought and she finally relented, seeing no other option. "Fine, but we gots to hurry, everybody," she announced with determination, grabbing Dean's hand now and marching off into the crowd.
They'd successfully made it to the food court and after lapping around a few times, they'd found an empty table. John deposited all his kids there with instructions to stay put while he went to grab the food.
Katie was on her knees in the chair, facing backwards staring at the people walking by, trying to see if maybe Santa was eating, too. However, her lack of nap that day was finally catching up to her as she rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand and let out a yawn. No! She had to fight this. Santa was close by, now was not time to sleep. She shook her head, trying to focus again.
Meanwhile, Sam was also just gazing around and couldn't help but notice the bags of toys at the table next to him, which prompted him to ask Dean quietly, "You think Dad will let us pick out a gift this year for Christmas?"
Dean didn't want to crush the kid's dreams, but he also didn't want to give him false hope. "He already let us pick them out," he said, motioning toward the shopping bag that sat between their chairs. "I don't think we'll get anything else. Sorry, Sammy."
Sam brushed his long hair out of his saddened eyes. "You don't have to be sorry." He sighed. "It's not your fault."
"Maybe next year," Dean replied honestly. Truth be told it was already a better Christmas than they'd gotten last year where their only gift had been getting dessert at the local diner. That wasn't much consolation to a three and seven year old.
But what they hadn't known was that John was already close enough behind them with the food to hear every word of their conversation.
After finishing up the meal and a few yawns later, Katie was set to go. She practically bounced beside John as they hiked to the other end of the earth in this place. Finally, coming into view were some small red buildings, snowflakes hanging from the ceiling, and a roped off area for the line. John was quite shocked that there wasn't anybody in line, at least from what they could see as the red toy shop blocked the view of the front of the line and where Santa actually sat.
"We made it, Daddy! It's the North Pole!" she exclaimed pointing to the fake cotton that lined the area ahead. Her enthusiasm was quite overwhelming and since they were only about 10 feet away, he decided to let go of her hand and gave her a go-ahead to take off sprinting like she wanted.
With a quick squeal of delight, she was off like a rocket. In a flash, she was standing where the line began, facing the throne where Santa was supposed to be sitting. She stopped dead in her tracks. Her brow was completely furrowed in confusion as she turned to her family who was still slowly making their way over. She scanned the area again, taking it all in. There were thrones, snow, the elves' toy shop, but there were no people. There was no Santa.
Tears brimmed her eyes from disappointment. "Daddy, where did Santa go?" she asked innocently.
John was just as confused as she was. Where the heck was this old man? He was disappointing his kid and he wasn't about to take it. That's when his eyes fell on a small paper sign taped to the pole that said "Line Starts Here."
Due to unforeseen circumstances, Santa will be unavailable this evening. We apologize for the inconvenience.
"Shit," John muttered under his breath as he ran an exhausted hand down his face, bracing himself for the fall out.
"Where's Santa?!" she asked again, more urgency in her voice for an answer.
John took a deep breath, hoping this wasn't about to turn into the meltdown he knew it was. "I'm sorry, Katie. It looks like Santa had to leave early today."
Her lip quivered again. "Leave?" She brushed away a few tears that escaped. "But he was supposed to wait for me. I was extra good. Right, Daddy?"
He knelt down beside her, his heart softening at seeing her disappointment that wasn't directly his fault this time. "Yes, you were very good today."
The tears were feely coming now as she stuttered over her own words. "B-bbut Dean say S-S-Santa won't wait for me if I'm bad. I was good. And he lefted me here ALL a-aalone." She pointed to the empty chair in front for them.
Dean immediately saw the waterworks were in full effect, so he tried to jump in and save his father the pain. "Katie, Santa had an emergency, so he had to leave. It wasn't because you were bad, okay? He probably had to go help take care of a sick reindeer or whatever."
But that response still wasn't good enough for her because Santa wasn't where he promised to be. "B-bbut I w-wwwanna meet S-ssanta!" The tiredness, disappointment, and sheer sadness took over her emotions and she was full on crying in meltdown mode as she plopped herself on the ground and threw her hands over her face as she cried.
Amid a few sympathetic glances of passing parents, John saw no other choice. He handed the shopping bag over to Dean and scooped Katie up in his arms, resting her against his chest. "I'm sorry, Katie. Maybe he'll be here next year." He didn't know what it was, but there was always something about his smallest that brought out a kinder side of himself, a more empathetic sweetness that he'd long thought he'd lost in the trenches of war.
But his attempt to soothe her was met with muffled distain as she spoke into his shirt between cries. "Nooo. Next year NO!" She pounded her small fists against his chest in protest. "He lefted me, Daddy."
He gently grabbed her hand and held it as he started slowly swaying back and forth, trying to comfort her by saying, "It'll be okay, munchkin."
Sam and Dean were both saddened for their sister and embarrassed at her baby-like emotions at the same time. John quickly motioned for them to start walking in the other direction, back toward the store where they'd enter. There was nothing more for them here. It was time to get out of here.
When Katie noticed they were moving away from Santa's area, it caused another wave of tears to overcome her, as she cried into John's flannel shirt. She mumbled a few more "noooo's" as they continued on their way.
In a test that was true to his patience, John let go of her hand and began to pat her back intermixed with rubbing circles on it, like he'd learned from Mary all those years ago with Sam and Dean. She'd told him it was what always calmed them down when they were upset. With each passing step, her cries turned into murmurs and then into whimpers before finally there was nothing at all when they hit their halfway point back to the store. Maybe Mary had been right all along. Katie was fully leaning against John, her head nestled into his neck as her breathing slowly became more rhythmic. She'd finally given into the sleep she'd been fighting, much to everyone's delight.
As both boys walked in front of him, he quickly rested his cheek against Katie's head and whispered that he was sorry one last time. He truly hated that bitch now for getting his little girl's hopes up. This could have all been avoided if it hadn't been for people staring at him and trying to intervene with his parenting.
The store where they'd entered was now just up ahead. Light at the end of the tunnel. But at that moment, they all passed by a toy store on their right. John couldn't help but notice that both boys in sync slowed down their pace ever so slightly so they could glance into the store to see its contents. And his mind floated back to their conversation at the food court. He was a real treat today—disappointing all his kids right and left. He'd already broken one's heart (even if not directly), but he knew he had to end today on a better note. It was the right thing to do. It was what Mary would have wanted.
Once they'd walked past the store, he instructed the boys to hold up. He knelt down, resting his knee on the ground, careful not to move Katie too much so she wouldn't wake. "Boys, I know Christmas isn't what it used to be." That was an understatement. It had been very, very different with Mary—Christmas cookies, gifts, cards, Santa, a tree, the whole nine yards. "But I think this year we got just enough money left over for one more thing." He motioned with his head toward the toy store. Their eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, twinkling with delight. "You boys can get one gift." Before they took off running, he held up his hand. "No more than $20 each and we're not opening them till Christmas, understood?" He nodded toward the sleeping girl, letting them know that rule to wait was more for her sake than theirs. He had to make up some illusion that Santa brought them.
They could not have nodded their heads faster. In a burst of excitement, Sam threw himself at John, wrapping his arm around him in a hug. And in a completely unexpected and unusual move, Dean crushed himself into John as well. For the first time in months, maybe even years, he was holding all three of his kids at once—it was pure happiness that he'd forgotten existed.
He released them and then with a pat on the bottom and a smile, he told them to get moving and go find what they wanted.
John picked up the discarded shopping bag that Dean had left behind in all the rush. Nah, this was one scolding that he'd let slide. He was only a few steps behind them, but he once inside, he went on his own search for something special. He couldn't put his finger on what it'd be, but he'd know it when he saw it. Up and down and down and up the rows he went, until there it was. It was perfect. A transparent carrying bag filled with plastic animals of all kinds, shapes, and colors. This was it—this was the gift for Katie. He checked to make sure she was still peacefully sleeping on his shoulder and she was. He might actually pull this one off.
He couldn't wipe the grin from his face as he pictured her opening the gift on Christmas Day, excited that Santa knew what she wanted even though she didn't get to meet him. He hadn't been one to really celebrate any holidays these past few years, but this one had to be the exception. He had to make it up to his kids that he'd let down this year.
After a few more minutes, the boys found John and ran up to him with their choices—Dean a nerf gun and Sam a box with all kinds of magician's tricks. John couldn't help but notice Dean's smile; the son that had always been the more serious one, the one who had to grow up too fast. But the smile he was flashing now matched Sam's equally and it brought John back to the good days, where everyone was still innocent and just enjoying their childhood like they should be. He held Katie just a little bit tighter, totally soaking in the moment.
It was going to be a Christmas to remember after all.