CoAi Week 2024 (Aug 1-7) - Almost Strangers

By Crystal Snowflakes

II. Choice

"Bye bye, Ai-chan! See you tomorrow!" Ayumi waved cheerfully. The usual chorus of goodbyes at this particular intersection was non-existent today as Mitsuhiko and Genta had both stayed behind for soccer practice after school.

She gave her a small wave before turning away to continue her walk home, alone, as usual.

The darkening skies gave a loud growl of warning, and she was thankful she had remembered to bring her umbrella. Still, she couldn't help but think that the incoming rain reflected the mood of her thoughts, and a small, bitter smile crossed her face.

It had been two years since the exact date she'd given him the antidote and practically pushed him out of her life. She hadn't spoken to or seen him for almost a year now.

At first, it had felt…strange.

To have someone who was so entwined with her everyday life slowly disappear. And yet, as more time passed, the feeling became normal. The world moved around them, and she was just one person in a sea of people that went about their daily lives.

And she wasn't unhappy.

Still, there were times she had to force herself not to think about how different things might've turned out if she had made a different decision, a different choice—

"Haibara!"

Speak of the devil.

The familiar—but also unfamiliar—voice made her stop in her tracks, but she didn't turn around. Part of her hoped that his voice had been a figment of her imagination, a hallucination from stress or exhaustion. Yet, another part knew better. Traitorously hoped and wished that it was him.

"Haibara. Is that you?" His voice was closer now, his footsteps approaching still.

Forcing her face to remain perfectly impassive, she finally turned around and met his gaze, pushing down the emotions she felt rising up inside her. So long had passed since she'd seen him, and yet, somehow, he still left her breathless without even trying.

He looked older. Taller. But he also looked a lot more tired than she'd remembered.

"It's been a while, Meitantei." Her response was short and curt. She was afraid that her own voice would betray her and convey all the emotions she had bottled up. As a way to remind herself to keep it together though, she dug her nails into her palms. "You look good for your age."

Ignoring her little jab, he maneuvered closer to her, forcing her to take a step back to tilt her head up to look at him. Bastard.

"Where have you been?" he asked, his eyes drifting over her face, searching. As if he'd barely recognized her.

She forced a slight shrug. "Around."

His eyes were too piercing—too knowing—especially now that he'd gotten rid of those glasses—thrown away the disguise. She wanted to respond with something snarky, but then he'd no doubt ask a multitude of questions she wasn't interested in answering. Plus, she wasn't sure if she could cope with that right now.

So she did what she did best and responded in the only way she could: by asking a question. "Don't you have a body you need to inspect? A case you need to solve?"

Her words hit a nerve though. His features tightened as his hand ran through his hair before shaking his head. "We need to talk."

As if on cue, a flash of lightning lit up the sky briefly, followed by a loud boom that shook the ground beneath their feet a few seconds later. Still, neither of them moved.

She wasn't sure what it was that he did that sent a rush of anger through her. Maybe it was the way he demanded answers like it was the most natural thing in the world for him to do after they'd been apart for so long. Or maybe it was how he was staring down at her, eyes blazing with determination. He'd always been this insufferable, so it shouldn't have come as a surprise to her.

But the sudden surge of resentment and bitterness was unexpected.

"So talk," she said, staring back at him—unblinking. She didn't have the energy—nor was she in the mood—to examine why she was feeling the way she was.

"Here?" he asked, eyes flickering up towards the looming clouds above. Any time now, the rain would come pouring down, drowning out all the sounds except for the rumble of thunder. Even if she decided to run home now, it wouldn't be enough time to escape.

Besides, he wanted to talk.

She cocked an eyebrow, silently daring him to argue. "Why not?"

The small sigh that escaped his lips made her want to smirk. "So I've been thinking—"

"Oh?" She couldn't help the mocking sound that slipped past her lips.

He stared at her pointedly, seemingly unimpressed by her sarcasm before continuing with a scowl. "I thought we were partners."

Whatever it was that she expected to come out of his mouth, it wasn't this. Her brain scrambled for some sort of response, but all she could do was stare wide-eyed at him. "Kudo-kun—"

"So imagine my surprise when you've made avoiding me a hobby of yours lately."

The accusation in his tone cut deep, and it caused her stomach to twist. It stung. But didn't he understand why she was doing what she did? Still, it didn't make her feel less guilty, because the hurt and betrayal in his expression was palpable as he continued to speak.

"I thought our friendship meant more to you. And I've been wondering why the hell you've been so distant—why the hell you've stopped answering your calls," he paused, seeming to realize that his outburst was a bit loud. He cleared his throat, visibly composing himself as he straightened his posture. "Was it something I did?"

"No," she answered truthfully. Her throat felt like sandpaper, and she watched as his shoulders relaxed slightly. Still, she knew her answer wouldn't be enough to satisfy him.

Her nails dug deeper into her palms.

"Edogawa Conan and Haibara Ai are partners. I'm Haibara Ai, and you—"

"I am Conan—"

"Was," she corrected softly, not missing the flicker of hurt that flashed across his face momentarily. She felt the burn of loss as she took a steadying breath, forcing her hands to relax. "But you're Kudo Shinichi now. And we are nothing more than acquaintances who live next to each other."

His gaze remained locked to hers, and she had to try her hardest not to let any emotion through. She'd made peace with her decision months ago. Now he needed to accept it.

"You got what you always wanted, Kudo-kun. Now you need to let me live my own life."

There was silence between them, and despite it, she could sense that he was struggling against something inside him. Finally, when he spoke, his voice was quiet.

"I've missed you."

She forgot to breathe. Her entire world suddenly seemed to tilt, falling out of balance as she fought every instinct inside her to run—to bolt. Instead, she forced herself to swallow the lump in her throat. His words shouldn't affect her like that—shouldn't have the power to cause her heart to ache the way it did. It wasn't fair that he was able to make her want to crumble to pieces.

"Me too," she admitted quietly before giving him a small smile, hoping that it would soften the impact of what she was going to say next. "But you've made your choice, and I've made mine."

There was no humour behind his empty chuckle.

He let out another small sigh.

"Sometimes, I wish one of us made a different choice."