((Posting this chapter a day ahead of schedule because I won't make the intended time tomorrow and by the time I'd manage, I'll probably fall over and sleep instantly.))

4. Falling out of the Door into Kind Hands

It was a beautiful day in the city. Shi Qingxuan sat in the garden and let the early morning sun warm his face – and tried to find out why in the world he was so sad. He should be enjoying this, one last time in his life that he had luxury and a soft bed to sleep in, excellent warm food, and the company of someone he really liked talking to.

Wang Ai was brilliant. She also cooked herself, he had learned, and she was almost as good at it as He Xuan had been. He should be happy.

But the fact of it was that the rapport he had developed with this woman only hurt all the more because he had lost his best friend.

The noise of something shattering came from inside, and Shi Qingxuan instantly forgot his worries. Using the crutch that had been adjusted to his height, he hurried back into the house. He'd have been faster without the cast, but the surgeon had insisted that it stay for a little longer. And when he had tried to argue, Wang Ai had left the room with such a dejected look that he didn't have the willpower to take a firm stand. He should be more decisive. The woman was falling in love with him, he was sure of it. And while his heart was warming to her, too, he had no room for her in it.

The scene inside let his blood run cold. Wang Ai was on her back on the ground, scrambling, but there was a black fog following her persistently. 'Leave her alone!' Shi Qingxuan shouted. When the thing didn't react at all, he got mad. 'Hey! Don't just ignore me, stupid cloud!' He decided to use the only weapon he had: He threw the crutch at the creature. While it passed right through it – as he had expected – it got its attention. The fog went to him, through him, making him shiver to his core.

The distraction worked only for a moment. In a blink, the cloud flew back to Wang Ai, and it started seeping into her eyes, nose, and mouth. 'No way.' Shi Qingxuan thought frantically. With his fan and his powers, he could have blown that thing away, but now he could do nothing, nothing at all! Except …

Letting the fog be fog, he went down behind her and pulled her into his lap, hooking the arm in the cast around her. He was probably bruising her, but it was the only thing he could do. 'Close your eyes,' he said, and she did, entrusting herself to him. Then he cupped his hand over her nose and mouth. 'I'm not going to kill you, okay? I'll get you outside, it probably won't come after you on the street during the day. I'll hurry. Bite me if you really, really need to take a breath. I'm so slow.'

He started crawling backwards to the door with her, heart beating madly from the exertion and fear. He felt tendrils of the thing that had been choking her in his own face, felt it steal his breath when it got too close. He turned away, inhaled deeply, and tried not to breathe any more, to make it to the door, to get out and hopefully to safety.

'Almost there,' he said when he couldn't hold his breath any longer. Something collided with his back – the door! He was dizzy, and he finally let go of Wang Ai's face. She was limp in his arms, but as he released her, he felt her chest rise: She'd be fine. He reached for the handle, fumbled, but managed to get the thing open. All strength zapped from him, he fell outwards and banged his head against the ground. He heard voices, some muttering about being drunk early in the day, some yelling about getting help, and one that sounded suspiciously like Wang Ai, shouting, 'When is it going to be enough? What more do you want from him?'

He was probably about to pass out. He even thought he saw Xie Lian and Crimson Rain Sought Flower coming towards him. The former bent over him, looking rather relieved. 'Found you,' he said and leaned down to help him up.

Ϡ

Shi Qingxuan hadn't passed out, but he was a bit dizzy. With Xie Lian's help he made it back inside and picked up his crutch. Wang Ai had got to her feet and looked murderous. After making sure that Shi Qingxuan was all right, she stormed into the kitchen, slamming the door shut behind her. He would have worried that she was mad he had held her so intimately if she hadn't brushed his hair out of his face with a gentle hand and thanked him for taking care of her.

Now he was sitting back in his guest room, Xie Lian in the other chair, and Hua Cheng pacing like a caged tiger. His Highness had told him what had brought them here, and the way it looked, they were after the same thing that kept pestering Wang Ai.

'But tell me,' Xie Lian said eventually, 'what's with the casts?'

Shi Qingxuan sighed. 'Well, when I was out after that cat … ghost … thing attacked me, Xiao-Wang's physician broke my bones again so they could heal properly.'

Hua Cheng snorted. 'Sure.'

Somehow, this made Shi Qingxuan a little angry. Everyone here had been nothing but kind to him. 'Don't be like that, please, Crimson Rain Sought Flower. Some people really are decent.'

'That's not what I doubt. But if that was what had been done to you, you wouldn't be as agile as you are. Not after only a few days. You'd be in pain every time you move, even if you didn't step on the cast the way you do.' The ghost king approached, and without warning, he flicked a finger against each cast and the bandage on his neck. They crumbled and vanished, leaving nothing behind.

'Hey,' Shi Qingxuan said. 'I promised I'd keep them on until they're safe to remove.'

'You're painfully naïve,' Hua Cheng said.

'Qingxuan, can you stand?' Xie Lian asked. 'Careful, in case they did tell the truth. Stand on your good leg and then try putting your weight on the other just a little.'

'Okay?' He stood gingerly and slowly set his broken foot down. There was no pain at all, and grinning, Shi Qingxuan started hopping on it. 'See? All good.'

'You tell him, gege,' Hua Cheng said.

'Qingxuan … it doesn't work that way. You're mortal, you shouldn't be able to do this.' He sighed. 'It's okay, they weren't harming you, but that physician didn't break anything. I think he might have been the ghost that visited us. You nearly died, so he came for a healing potion from me. He gave you that and while it did save your life, it also repaired your previous injuries. The casts were to distract you from the fact that they're gone.'

'Oh. So I'm cheating again.'

'You're not cheating,' Xie Lian said gently. 'The thing is … no-one in this house is mortal, Qingxuan, except you.'

'Well it's just Wang Ai, one servant, and the physician, so we have a total of three ghosts, all of them friendly,' Shi Qingxuan said. 'That's not too horrible.'

'No,' Xie Lian replied. 'I don't think you're in danger, but … Let's just say maybe you shouldn't stay here.'

Shi Qingxuan flexed his fingers. 'Then I will leave now. The last thing I need is a random ghost woman with a crush on me. I'll just tell Xiao-…' He faltered as the door opened and his young host entered. Her eyes travelled from his neck to his cast-free arm and a hint of impatience showed on her face, followed by a sad smile. Knowing he was useless to them anyway, Shi Qingxuan turned to the two visitors. 'I'm sorry, I'm no good. I'll just go back. Say hi before you leave.' He faced the young woman and bowed low to her. 'I am very grateful that you saved my life, Xiao-Wang. But I have to go now. I won't forget your kindness or your hospitality.' The moment he stood straight again, he was swept into a hug by her. Feeling suddenly light-headed as well as a bit awkward, he patted her back before extricating himself and making his way out.

Shi Qingxuan was glad that none of them followed him. He really needed to be alone with his thoughts. Something rushed past him, and even though he knew that more capable people than him would take care of this ghost, he reacted instinctively. With both hands he reached into the cloud and grabbed, and somehow he could hold it. 'Show yourself!' His tone held command he no longer wielded, and he shook the mass of fog. 'Show yourself to me now!'

'Are you on his side now?' a voice echoed in his brain. 'Or are you really that gullible?'

'I'm not on anyone's side.' He held on to the squirming mass as if for dear life. 'I want you to stop pestering her! Whatever she's done to you, let it go! You're poisoning your own heart.'

The spirit in his hands struggled and Shi Qingxuan tried with all his might to hold it. He felt as if he would break his own fingers, but he wouldn't let go. 'Show yourself!' he said again. 'Show us who you are and sit down to talk! You're hurting everyone and yourself, too!' Something broke from his hands, and for a moment he thought his prey had escaped him. Then he saw the golden glow around it, swirling, catching every dark tendril and pulling it in, forcing it into a denser form, and he took two steps backwards. He collided with a person and felt two gentle hands hold his arms, running down all the way in a soft caress.

'It's okay,' Wang Ai said. 'Nothing will hurt you here.' She sidled past him and faced the increasingly solid thing herself while he stared at his hands.

The glow was gone, and so was the fog. In their stead, there was a ghost, forced into its real form by spiritual energy, pale and furious and cold. All blood drained from Shi Qingxuan as he recognised his brother, lost to vengeance and hate.

He reached out to Wang Ai. 'Let me talk to him,' he said, his voice cracking. 'Let me try.' She didn't resist as he stood by her side. 'Please, let him go. You can't win this, the best you can hope for is driving him furious enough to kill you for good. Does it … does it always have to be this way? Won't you let go?'

'Who are you talking about?' Wang Ai asked.

'You must think I'm really stupid, Mi- never mind,' he answered before turning to his brother again. 'Ge … Please. Let him be. For me. Let him be. You've hurt him enough.'

Shi Wudu grew until his head nearly touched the ceiling, and Shi Qingxuan put himself firmly between him and Wang Ai. 'Hurt him enough!' the ghost yelled. 'He killed me!'

'You killed him, too,' Shi Qingxuan whispered. 'I wish he could have stopped himself. I really do, ge, but if you keep throwing yourself against a rock for the next few centuries, you're not making anything better. You'll hurt him and me, and you'll end up dead. Well. More dead.'

Shi Wudu had never listened to him, not once in his life, so he had little hope. Between Xie Lian, Hua Cheng, He Xuan, and the physician who had been drawn close by the commotion with a knife in hand, he really wished he would.

Whatever his brother was, he'd never been stupid. He, too, saw the situation. He shrank back to normal size. 'You … are right. I have lost everything. Even my revenge.'

Flooded with relief, Shi Qingxuan closed his eyes. 'Thank you,' he breathed.

The first person to move was the physician. 'Really?' he asked. 'This is how you fulfil your promise to me? Your vow that we would destroy that monster?'

It happened way too fast for Shi Qingxuan, who had barely paid attention to the healer, to react. With a quick motion, the man released his knife. The blade seemed to grow larger in mid-flight, emitting a dark glow, its trajectory aiming directly at Shi Wudu. Xie Lian was being held back by an arm Hua Cheng had flung out. 'They need to do this without us,' he said firmly.

No-one held back Wang Ai. With a furious shout and cursing everything from heaven to hell, she let herself fall between the knife and Shi Wudu's ghost. A wet thud sounded as the blade embedded itself directly in her throat, a dull one as she hit the ground.

Shi Qingxuan stared frozen while everyone around him moved. His brother rushed the physician, who vanished in a puff of air. Xie Lian rushed to pull the knife out of Wang Ai's body. Hua Cheng came to him. 'It'll be fine,' the ghost told him. 'This is nothing.'

'I know,' he said weakly. 'I just didn't expect … Your Highness, let me.' Wang Ai had swatted Xie Lian's hand away, thwarting any attempt to remove the knife.

Shi Qingxuan knelt beside her. 'Can I?' he asked. Wang Ai pushed his hand away, too, and he sighed. 'Please let me help you.'

'No. I don't want any help.'

'…' Shi Qingxuan wrung his hands. 'What are you doing?'

'Thinking about my choices in life. You should try it some time.'

Shi Qingxuan smiled. 'You can do that without a knife in your neck, silly. I'm pulling it out now.' This time, Wang Ai let him, and he removed the blade as gently as he could. She didn't flinch, just looked up at him. He pushed an arm under her shoulders and helped her sit. 'Please change back, um. Do you want me to call you Xuan-xiong? Is that why you called me that?'

'You can call me whatever the hell you want.'

'I just … I'd prefer using something that won't make you hate me more than you already do.'

'How did you know?' He Xuan asked, finally dropping the disguise and returning to his original form.

To his own relief, Shi Qingxuan didn't flinch at all when the ghost sat in front of him in his true form. Instead, he smiled. 'I should have known much sooner. I even thought about it for a moment, but you ate like a normal person, so I figured I must be wrong. Now though … you gave me spiritual power. How else could I have held him?'

'Hmm. I thought it might help you a little out there.'

'It helped in here. And you saved my ge. Why did you do that?' The knife, even charged by the fury of another ghost, couldn't destroy a supreme. A wrath was a different matter entirely.

'That was one of the choices I tried to think about.' He turned to the ghost of the former Water Master. 'You. I won't tolerate your presence here. I can live with you being a ghost. It means you're feeling the sting of the consequences of what you've done. As far as I'm concerned, you can roam the world hating me and hopefully yourself for eternity, but you can't roam here. Get out of my house.'

Shi Wudu didn't dignify this with an answer and started to leave without so much as a glance at his brother.

'Wait,' said Xie Lian. 'You were our visitor, He Xuan. Weren't you? You came yourself and took my potion to our friend.' He looked at Shi Wudu. 'Someone else followed you, tried to distract San Lang and me so we wouldn't help. Was that you, Shi Wudu?'

'No. I was nowhere near any of you people.'

'I didn't think so. He Xuan, if you kick him out now, you might as well have let him die. The other one didn't pull any punches, he is every bit as furious as you were and not afraid of anyone. He'll kill him.'

'Then take him home with you if you like him so much.'

'Can't we just get rid of that crazy ghost and all go our way?' Shi Qingxuan asked. 'I mean. You guys can get rid of him. I can stay here and be useless.'

'He's a she,' Shi Wudu said. 'She impersonated the physician.'

He Xuan's eyes narrowed. 'And the actual physician is where?'

'I think she put him in a bottle. He's done nothing wrong, we didn't harm him. We can tell the difference, you see.'

Xie Lian eyed Shi Qingxuan for a few moments. 'Do you trust me?'

'What?'

'Do you trust me, Qingxuan?'

'Yes? I mean yes. Of course I do.'

'San Lang, please take Shi Wudu to Paradise Manor and have him under guard. For his safety, mind you. Qingxuan … I have a way out for you.'

'A way out?' He Xuan echoed. 'Wait. This is perfect. You'll help him, won't you? The only way you can.'

'If he wants it. I won't force him.'

'What are you talking about?' Shi Qingxuan asked.

'You see, the Emperor – you'll like her, I'm sure – has told me to get myself a deputy. I don't trust a lot of people enough. But I trust you. I know it's still a huge step down, but …'

'Just do it and anoint him or whatever you do!' He Xuan threw his hands in the air. 'While we investigate, he's vulnerable, and we'll come back to his corpse! That isn't acceptable!'

Xie Lian raised his eyebrows at He Xuan's outburst. 'Are you telling me I should just grab him against his will?'

'Yes!' He Xuan snapped. Shi Qingxuan made a noise of mild indignation at that, but he didn't get half a word in before Black Water continued. 'Why ask? He's going to say no because he thinks he deserves being trodden on!'

Hua Cheng answered with a derisive laugh. 'Ah. And who started treading on him in the first place?'

'It doesn't matter!' Shi Qingxuan raised his voice to shout over them all. 'It doesn't matter. Your Highness … I'm sorry. I don't want this. I don't want … to live forever when my brother is like that and can't stand the sight of me and my best friend hates me. I never deserved any of it and I won't pretend that I do any more.'

'I don't hate you.' He Xuan's voice was quiet. He bared his teeth briefly and huffed. 'I don't hate you at all. You have to agree or you'll die.'

'I am mortal and my powers are gone,' Shi Qingxuan said. 'Powers I should never have had. Of course I will die. As I should have long ago.'

He Xuan looked as if he was going to punch someone. 'Idiot! No matter how you got there, you made a great Wind Master. One of the Four Famous Tales. You need to start living up to it.'

'…' said Shi Qingxuan, backing a step away from He Xuan.

At that, all energy bled out of the ghost, his shoulders slumped, and he raised his hands in a gesture of harmlessness. 'Are you still afraid of me?'

'No.' Shi Qingxuan shook himself. He approached He Xuan and poked him in the chest. 'Do you hear? No! Why do you think that? Because you lost yourself and did something horrible? If we're all reduced to our worst moments, then you are a monster, I am pathetic, and my ge is a cruel schemer. I refuse to believe that any of those is true. And I meant what I said to Wang Ai: Everything is forgivable.'

'Qingxuan,' Xie Lian tried, 'why don't you agree and help your best friend with this. And when it's over, if you really want to go back to being mortal, tell me, and I'll release you.'

'You promise?'

'Don't,' He Xuan said.

Xie Lian closed his eyes and sighed. 'Absolutely. I won't force you. I might try to persuade you, though.'

'Are you at least bringing him back here after you have appointed him?' He Xuan asked.

Xie Lian looked at Shi Qingxuan. 'Am I appointing you?'

In the end, it was the anxious expression on He Xuan's face that helped. 'Okay. But only for this mission. I will leave after that. We find this ghost, we get rid of it or talk it out of attacking you and ge, and then I'll go back to the temple. As a mortal.'

Hua Cheng snorted. 'Looks like you have a deadline, He Xuan. Don't mess it up. Need any tips?'

Black Water didn't acknowledge this at all. 'Does he have to go with you for this?'

Xie Lian shook his head. 'No. With a little luck, I don't need to go, either. I just have to report to Ling Wen. But last time I contacted her, she told me to come in person, so who knows?'

He Xuan glared towards Shi Qingxuan. 'Then why don't you and your brother take a moment and talk?' He made a vague gesture to the guest room. 'I'll leave you to it.' He started walking away, then halted without turning back. 'I will tolerate you until this is resolved, Shi Wudu. I don't like you, but he clearly does, so I won't let anything hurt you under my roof. If you feel safer with Crimson Rain Sought Flower, I won't stop you from leaving. There is a teleportation array in the second room to the left along the corridor if you need one.'

Shi Qingxuan had stopped listening after the first few sentences. He grabbed Shi Wudu's hand and dragged him into the room, banging the door shut behind them and hugging him fiercely. 'Ge! You're alive. I mean … kind of.'

'So you still care about him?'

Shrugging, the former Wind Master sat down. 'I mean, I can't just turn it off. He was my best friend, or so I thought. I miss him. All the time.' He looked at his brother, at his pale skin and the sharpened features of a ghost driven by vengeance. 'I miss you, too. But if both of you keep trying to force me to decide between you, you're going to rip my soul in half.'

'I don't want that.' Shi Wudu frowned. 'I thought he'd killed you, too. When he brought you here, I couldn't believe it.'

'But you attacked me in the city.'

'That wasn't me.' Shi Wudu sighed and relaxed a little. 'She was a worshipper of both of us who served at our temple, and she says you forced her.'

'I had to protect Wang Ai. I had no idea who she was, just that some creature was trying to eat her. I'd still have done it if I'd known, though.'

'Reckless. What did you want to do, bleed at it?'

'Well, it worked.'

'It worked because she had hurt you. One of the two gods she was sworn to. That is why she fled.'

Shi Qingxuan nodded slowly. 'She might not like us that much now.'

'She is a grave danger to you. He Xuan is right about one thing: You need the edge being Xie Lian's deputy gives you, or you won't come out alive. I don't want that. I have a feeling he doesn't, either.' Shi Wudu smiled. It was softer than Shi Qingxuan was used to, laced with something that looked suspiciously like pride. 'I'm sorry, I can't help you with it, but you will be all right.'

'What … why can't you help? If she'll listen to anyone it's going to be you!'

'All I wanted was to destroy Black Water for killing me and for killing or at least breaking you. But you are not dead or broken.' He reached out and ruffled Shi Qingxuan's head, a gesture of affection he hadn't offered in ages. 'You'll be fine, little brother. Remember me.'

'Wait! No!' He reached out to take Shi Wudu's hands. 'No, don't go!' But he knew his brother was fading before the sentence was finished, and a moment later nothing was left of him. 'Ge! Ge, please don't!' he shouted. He felt the tears breaking from his eyes as he called out, knowing it was no use.

The door burst open and He Xuan came in, looking momentarily alarmed. He went to Shi Qingxuan and gave him a once-over. 'Are you hurt? Did he …'

'Gone.' Shi Qingxuan looked up at him, and for the first time since everything had happened, their eyes met. 'He's gone.'

'I'm so … Qingxuan, I wish …'

'It's okay. You don't need to lie.' He wiped his tears from his face. 'He's found peace now, hasn't he? He's gone because he knows I'm safe and because he could let go of his hatred for you.' He looked away. 'But that means, then, that you haven't. You still hate me, or you'd be gone, too.'

'I've said I don't hate you, Qingxuan. But I couldn't let go. Not with you … this way. You didn't deserve it. I was blinded by my vengeance, I didn't take the time to look at you.'

Slowly, Shi Qingxuan stood and opened his arms. 'Can you hold me? Just for a moment.'

He Xuan wavered long enough for the other man to lower his arms with a sheepish smile, then he seemed to come to his senses. He closed the distance and put his arms around Shi Qingxuan's thin form.

Stifling a sob, the shorter man buried his face in his neck. 'You smell good,' he said softly. 'Your scent hasn't changed a bit. That was really all you.'

The ghost hesitated briefly, then he asked, 'What do I smell like?'

'Like a warm, sunny beach. Like my best friend.' He pulled away a little and looked at He Xuan's stunned expression. 'Although you have made it clear that you're not my best friend.'

'You're ridiculous,' he managed eventually. 'And you … were my only friend, but I wasn't looking.'

A soft smile tugged at Shi Qingxuan's lips. 'I'm sorry you haven't found peace, but I'm glad I haven't lost you entirely yet.' He leaned up and brushed his lips over He Xuan's, the touch barely there and fleeting, but the ghost's arms around him tightened.

'And what was that?'

'What I've been wanting to do for a very long time.'

He Xuan huffed and pulled away from him at last. 'I wouldn't have let you.' He frowned. 'We'll find that ghost and deal with it. And then you have to make a choice. Before you do, I still can't let you.'

'Why?' Shi Qingxuan stared at him, unable to look away. 'Unless you hate the idea, of course, but then my decisions are irrelevant. I had the feeling Xiao-Wang – you wouldn't object to me and I …'

'You're rambling. Cut it out.'

Shi Qingxuan could not deny this. 'Well,' he said finally. 'It shouldn't matter to you what I choose because you were never one to go for anything long term.'

'I did once. You know how well it ended for her and me. I can't do that again: Let myself care that much for someone I'm going to lose.' He Xuan shook his head. 'I always knew I would one day get an opportunity for my revenge, and then everyone in heaven would hate me, so you were never an option. And now you aren't either, if you stay mortal. I won't have you for the blink of an eye and lose you to an infection or a trivial injury. But your perception about Wang Ai … about me. That wasn't wrong.' With that he swept out of the room, leaving Shi Qingxuan stunned and with his lips tingling.

((Shi Qingxuan is a kind man. I am not. I hate Shi Wudu with a passion. So I would like to make it known that the narrator and I are in disagreement here. I could write an essay on every little thing I want to punch him for, but I'll spare everyone.))