WELCOME MY FELLOW READERS TO THE THIRTY FIRST EDITION OF MY KICK-ASS STORY. KNOWN BY MANY AS, THE BATTLE CATS: X! BASED OFF OF THE HIT MOBILE GAME, KNOWN AS THE BATTLE CATS. I HOPE YOU ENJOY WHAT I HAVE TO OFFER IN THIS EPISODE!
It was a bustling day over in the United Kingdom. The Battle Act find themselves outside preparing to take on all of the enemies located here. Bob is deadlifting a gigantic rock, while Cat and Tank Cat are supporting Bob as he lifts it. Axe Cat and Gross Cat are doing planks as they compete with each other. Cow Cat is running across the backyard. Bird Cat is flying through nearby trees. Fish Cat is biting deeply into a solid rock to strengthen his teeth, Lizard Cat is practicing his fire breathing capabilities, Titan Cat is doing bench presses as Bean Cats are supporting him. Everyone seems focused on buffering themselves to take down these enemies more efficiently.
Tank Cat: Say, is this all that we are going to be doing for the moment?
Cat: Heh, I believe so. But to be fair, what else is there that we can do in preparation against these enemies? We are going up against a unique combo not seen before. he smirks as he helps Bob lift the giant rock Hey Bob, are you sure you can handle this gigantic rock?
Bob: Of course I can! It's not like it's hard or anything. he flicks his toothpick as he manages to lift up the rock inch by inch above the ground See, I told you I could do it. And you dumbasses never believed me.
Tank Cat: I don't even get why we're helping him out if he's going to be showing off all the time... he sighs as he continues lifting the rock
Gross Cat: Can you three keep it down a notch? I'm trying my hardest to pull off a badass plank.
Axe Cat: Oh yeah... you couldn't pull off a blank even if you were a robotic shipwright! (certain reference to a certain character from a certain 1997 REALLY popular manga series)
Gross Cat: Shut the fuck up! I know exactly what I'm doing here... you don't, so zip it.
Fish Cat: What are you two... he crushed a rock and eats it TALKING ABOUT!? I'm trying to eat some rocks here.
Axe Cat: Oh stay out of this. You can't even plank for two minutes without getting hungry.
Fish Cat: YES I COULD! I could do it for two HOURS if I really wanted to.
Bird Cat: What in the name of Pythagorean Theorem is occurring as we are speaking?
Gross Cat: Huh, Bird Cat, don't you mean we? he lazily points at Axe, Fish, and himself You were never talking.
Bird Cat: Ah, that is correct, however, since I have arrived and began communicating with my fellow Battle Cats, I am speaking, ergo, part of the quote "as we are speaking" selection.
Cow Cat: Just because you want to get nosy, you don't have to use that fat noggin of yours to butt in random conversations. despite what he just said, he is unaware that he butted into the conversation as well
Lizard Cat: Oh, look who's talking. he smirks slyly as he makes his way over Hey there, boys. What are you all up to?
Bird Cat: We are discussing the matter of interrupting discussions! It is really fascinating how you are a perfect example of such.
Lizard Cat: Yeah... I'm just going to... go. he slowly begins to back away uncomfortably
Titan Cat: Hey, knock it off, all of you! It's really annoying after listening to like, twelve seconds of it. he struggles to lift the weight off his torso, Bean Cats came by to aid him
Bean Cat L: Careful there, Titan Cat, you could have hurt yourself terribly.
Bean Cat R: Yeah! Lucky for you, we came by just in time to make sure you don't damage yourself. You can trust on us!
Titan Cat: Hey, thanks guys, I really appreciate it, genuinely. he smirks as he removes the weight off his shoulders (quite literally)
Bob: I'm just going to say this, don't take it personally or anything, but WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING WITH OUR LIVES!? he grumbles as he crushes the rock with his fists O tempo que está sendo desperdiçado! (The time that is being wasted)
Gross Cat: Sheesh, someone give him a chill pill before he murders us.
Tank Cat: Excuse me? Bob would n- gets interrupted as Gross Cat hits him in the back of the head OW! That hurt...
Gross Cat: Stop making up nonsense then. he scoffs as he crosses his arms
Tank Cat: YOU'RE the one making up nonsense here, jackass! he huffs as he crosses his arms
Cat: What the actual hell are you guys doing? he makes his way inside I'm just going to prepare to take down these enemies so they can't beat the living hell out of us! I'd say it's probably for the best if you guys all follow suit.
Cow Cat: Hey, look at that! The Basic Cat is spewing some facts for once instead of random bullshit. he cackles I'm coming...
Cat: Don't you dare call me "Basic" you... cow! he grumbles as he makes his way inside, embarrassed that he couldn't think of a decent comeback
Bob: Yeah finally, let's get going. These guys are going to be on our dicks making sure we kick the bucket. So basically, these motherfuckers turn out our biggest fans! he flicks his toothpick as he adjusts his brass knuckles
Lizard Cat: Indeed, they love us. They just don't want to admit it, mainly because they're shy. he sniggers away as he makes his way outside Okay, follow me gentlemen, they haven't even stepped outside yet.
The Battle Act all take a look at the Enemy Base in front of them. It is a stereotypical British base based off of none other than The Big Ben! Which is nickname given to the Great Clock of Westminster! It was built in 1859 by Augustus Pugin, it is an iconic piece of culture for those who live in The United Kingdom, as it represents the country and its parliamentary democracy. This version of the tower was really accurately made out of wood, with two beefeaters in red suits on either side with shotguns. Quite a unique sight to behold.
Tank Cat: Ooh, so this must be a remake of The Big Ben, huh? I see, really impressive stuff for sure. he beams at the sight of the base I can't wait to take on these enemies.
Bean Cat R: What are those enemies even up to? We just want to get the Fish and Chips treasures. he stares at the enemy base
Lizard Cat: At this rate, who the hell even knows? he cackles as he looks at the enemy base
Inside of the base, Those Guys and Croco are fighting over the last soda can in the fridge, Pigge is watching some soaps on the television, Baa Baa is reading a magazine as he is eating some chicken casserole, and Le'Boin is reading a magazine while stealing some of Baa Baa's casserole.
Baa Baa: Hey. This is my casserole. I didn't give you permission to eat mine. Did you want some? he stares into Le'Boin's eyes with confusion
Le'Boin: Well, you left is there for the BOTH of us to consume, no? Anyways I apologize if I was an ass by eating your leftovers.
Baa Baa: This is not leftover. I made this in my free time. It is actually a bash of fresh chicken casserole. Do you want to hear a joke?
Le'Boin: Touché. What a method of switching topics, but oui. I will listen to your joke you have to offer.
Baa Baa: Okay. he takes out a sheet of paper Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?
Le'Boin: Eh, I don't know. Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?
Baa Baa: Because it's pointless. This is the part where you laugh. he puts away the paper as he stares at Le'Boin
Le'Boin: Right, I guess I see where the joke is. he gulps awkwardly as he puts away his magazine
That Guy C: LE'BOIN! Croco won't share his soda with us!
That Guy B: And we asked him patiently, and nicely. But he didn't want to hand it over to us!
That Guy A: That is so unfair! Can you do something about it?
Le'Boin: How the fuck am I supposed to know how!? Uhh, Croco, give them the last soda.
Croco: Hey, hey, hey! Come on, bro! You can't just make me give away the last one I had. I was saving it for a good chug, God damn it!
That Guy A: Haha! Now hand it over before I bust you up. he takes the soda and the three begin to drink it
Le'Boin: Ooh, how much I adore being in charge, everyone listens to you and follows your orders. he cackles away as he gets up Now, where is that pig?
Pigge: Give me five more minutes, I just want to finish this episode, yeah?
Le'Boin: NON! You are going out of that room right now. I don't care if you object to it. he grumbles as he picks her up
Pigge: AGH! Get off me you actual idiot. Before I seriously beat you up.
Le'Boin: BAA BAA! We're leaving, come on now. Hurry up.
All of the enemies make their way outside, with Pigge being carried by Le'Boin. They all manage to come out in one piece, considering all the feuds they were having. They get out and take a good look at everyone in front of them. The Battle Act just stare at them back as they are all preparing for a kick ass showdown. Eventually, Bird Cat speaks up.
Bird Cat: Ah, how splendid! Long time no see, fellow rivals. Are you ready for an overwhelming combat case today? Because it is going to be rather fun for us.
Baa Baa: I prepared chicken casserole as food. Who wants some?
Fish Cat: OOH! ME! I haven't eaten anything good in an hour. Come on, give me some.
Cow Cat: The food isn't for us, jackass. Why on Earth would an enemy give US food!? Explain it.
Cat: Well, if they were to give us food, I'm pretty sure none of us would turn it down.
Axe Cat: Okay, while you guys are being picky on your food choices, I'm going to go head first into combat.
Tank Cat: Oh no, don't do it yet! We are not ready for this. We haven't even came up with a decent strategy for these guys.
Titan Cat: he grabs his shoulders Leave him... let him pay the ultimate cost of being a risky idiot. Let's see how far it gets him.
Bob: Estou seguindo aquele idiota. (I'm following that dumbass) Just in case he gets hurt and shit, you know?
Gross Cat: Ooh, I like the way Bob thinks, protecting him, without exactly protecting him.
The Battle Begins! Axe Cat charges right into Those Guys, and Bob immediately stops in his tracks as he looks back at The Battle Act.
Bob: Of course he's not going to get injured! He's after the weakest motherfuckers.
Those Guys simultaneously: HEY! We heard that. they all pout as they try to fight against Axe Cat
Axe Cat: Oh hey Bob. Tell the idiots behind me that they can't trust me for a second.
Bean Cat L: You also made something badass end up completely underwhelming! he smirks
Bean Cat R: Yeah, I hope you're happy, Axe Cat. he giggles away as he wraps his arm around Bean Cat L
Axe Cat: Well, I have a decent shot against these Guys right here.
That Guy A: We prefer being indirect, so Those Guys is our best nickname.
That Guy C: Funny enough how they don't even know our real names. he smirks as he leans back and cackles
Bob: Shut the fuck up. I'm not letting you diss my brother Axe Cat like that.
Axe Cat: Bob... he is genuinely touched by what Bob said
That Guy B: But Bob, Axe Cat isn't your bio- he gets interrupted as Bob sends a kick right into his face AGH! he rolls across the floor
Those Guys A and C just watch in horror. Their friend is bleeding on the floor, his head is covered in bruises as he is laying on the ground. His right shoulder is pierced from damage as he cowers there in fear. Bob rushes up to That Guy A and Axe Cat rushes up to That Guy C. Bob sends a punch right into the abdomen of That Guy A, this results in him coughing up blood and tripping on the floor. And Axe Cat gives a slash of his axe right into That Guy C's forehead. This results in That Guy C to spew out blood as he weakly grabs his head and sends a punch right into Axe Cat as a counter attack. This causes Axe Cat to get bruised up on his left cheek, he smirks at the damage though.
Axe Cat: Heh, not bad for a stickman who's fist is a semi circle that's two inches in diameter. he smirks as he wipes his face Your blunt attacks become sharp ones though. So that's where your downfall is. Matilda over here is perfect at BOTH!
That Guy C: Huh? What are you talking about? Are you saying that your axe can do sharp AND blunt attacks.
Bob: He's clearly joking. he smirks as he flicks his toothpick But go ahead and show us man.
Axe Cat: Oh-ho! With pleasure, Roberto Mourinho Jablovskyy. he pierces That Guy C in the face, causing a large scar to appear as it bleeds out, he then proceeds to bash the top of his head with the side of the axe, causing it to bruise as he falls on the floor, unconsciously
Bob: Puta merda... (Holy shit...) Okay, not bad at all, Axe Cat! Now, let me finish off these two.
Those Guys A and B simultaneously: NO! they clutch onto each other as they cower in fear
Bob rushes and bashes the two of their heads in. This results in their heads to bleed out tremendously, they both end up falling on the floor, unconscious. Bob just smirks at the scene as he kicks them to guarantee their defeat. Le'Boin just watches the entire scene in horror, he just stares at Bob as he finishes.
Le'Boin: Well, look at that. You are powerful enough to take on Those Guys all at once, impressive stuff.
Bob: Why thanks, Le'Boin, but just so you know, if I can defeat a GIANT ELEPHANT, I'm pretty sure the three tiny ass stickmen will be a breeze. he cracks his knuckles
Pigge: He doesn't show any remorse to any challenger, does he?
Croco: Nah, he is certainly the most ruthless guy I have ever seen in my whole life! And that's a fact. So I wouldn't say messing with him is a good idea... like, at all.
Over by somewhere else, Croco is taking on Cow Cat, Tank Cat, and Gross Cat. Croco charges right into Cow Cat and begins biting him down before he can do any decent attack damage to him. His hoof starts to bleed out from the impact, but he manages to shake off Croco before he could do anything worse. Gross Cat simply grins as he whacks Croco with his long arm. This results in Croco to spew out blood from his jaw as it swells from impact. Tank Cat simply applies more damage as he head butts Croco in the tail, this causes him to turn over and land head first onto the ground.
Tank Cat: Well, look at that, we managed to show him not to mess with us! And that takes a lot of work to execute properly.
Croco: Huh, no kidding. he grumbles as he wipes his mouth But I'm afraid you're going to get your ass handed to you with my attacks.
Gross Cat: I doubt that will be the case here, good old friend Croco, for we have a decent plan which will defy all the odds of our attacks!
Cow Cat: Say, is it about time that I show this motherfucker he doesn't stand a chance against us or what? he cackles as he stomps his hooves
Tank Cat: I believe it is about time. But, shall we go easy on him? Or are we going to go all out on him?
Gross Cat: Oh Tank Cat, buddy, take a guess! he smirks as he rubs his shoulders
Croco: Yeah, take a guess. he begins to mutter under his breath as he scoffs, he is clearly pissed off at the Cats
Cow Cat: I'm not going to let you guys just Dilly Dally around the place, I'm just going to go all out. he begins to charge right into Croco and head butts him, he goes flying as he lands on the floor, he is bruised up all over his forehead as he glares at them in anger See, that wasn't so hard, now, was it?
Gross Cat: Oh be quiet, I am going to humble that little ego of yours so hard any second now...
Tank Cat: Guys! Stop fighting and help me with Croco, he's biting me and it hurts so much. he is squirming around as Croco keeps biting deeply into his ear
Gross Cat and Cow Cat simultaneously: SHUT UP, TANK CAT! We're in the middle of something. Fight him off yourself.
Croco: Wow, are these the kinds of friends that you have? Sheesh, are you sure you aren't pissed off?
Tank Cat: Eh, I'm used to it by now. And, once they finish... whatever the heck they're doing, they'll come to me and help me out.
Tank Cat just decides to follow their advice and begins to attack Croco on his own. Tank Cat bashes Croco right in the head and slams him down, this results in Croco actually breaking his back, and bruising up. Tank Cat smirks at the sight he created. Eventually, Cow Cat comes rushing in and bashes him right in the head, this causes him to bleed out and fall on his back, he is in visible pain.
Tank Cat: Cow Cat! You finally made your way over here to help me out. he giggles as he looks at him But where is Gross Cat?
Gross Cat: I'm right here! he is holding Croco up in the air as he smiles sinisterly
Croco: LET ME GO YOU SON OF A BITCH, before I do unspeakable things to you AND your family.
Gross Cat: Excuses upon excuses... when will you ever learn to shut the hell up! he slams Croco right onto the floor, he gets crushed from the impact and goes unconscious almost immediately There we go... much better.
Cow Cat: Now, shall we find everyone else and get the hell out of here?
Tank Cat: Yeah, let's get going, we don't want them to get hurt.
Elsewhere, Pigge is up against Fish Cat and Bean Cats in an epic duel. Bean Cats push Pigge back with their Knock Back capabilities, while Fish Cat bites down into Pigge's torso, this results in a situation where Pigge ends up flying right into the Enemy Base. See, I told you pigs CAN fly! Eventually, they continue to go after Pigge and attempt to put her down. But she retaliates by slamming down right into their heads. This causes Bean Cats to turn to their Bean Pod to soak most of the damage, and for Fish Cat to highly rely on his Strong Against Red Enemies in order to make sure he doesn't end up dying.
Pigge: Ugh, this is just what I needed when I was trying to get away from you guys. she scoffs as she gets back up on her feet More drama.
Fish Cat: I just wanted to say, I LOVE England, you really know how to get a country going.
Pigge: Oh... she was caught off guard with the compliment Why thank you, Fish Cat.
Bean Cat L: Is he... distracting Pigge by any chance? he stares at them in confusion
Bean Cat R: I'd say just play along with it, you don't know what goes on in that guy's brain. he shudders at the thought But let's not distract ourselves, we have an enemy to prioritize.
Bean Cat L: Right... he whispers Psst, Fish Cat, what are you doing?
Fish Cat: he turns towards Bean Cats Oh, I am trying to create a solid distraction against Pigge, and if you ask me, Ibelieve it's working! he grins as he turns towards Pigge
Pigge: Well, you know, Cabbage and chip butties are the absolute bomb when mixed together, do you get me?
Fish Cat: Oh I could really go for some of that! he cackles loudly BUT I REALLY WANT TO EAT SOME PORK CHOPS RIGHT NOW! he pounces right onto Pigge and bites deeply into her neck NOW, BEAN CATS!
Bean Cats simultaneously: On it, Fish Cat! they pounce right onto Pigge, pushing her back and causing her to end up severely bruising from the impact of the whole attack
Pigge: she coughs up some blood as she glares at them Oh you sneaky little runt. You may have caught me off guard, but I hope you know I have a decent decoy to take you down.
Fish Cat: Huh? And what is that? he stares at Pigge in confusion
Pigge: Just wait and see, Fish Cat, just wait and see. she cackles as she walks towards Fish Cat
Fish Cat: Pigge, stop it, you're scaring me. You're scaring me REALLY BAD! he begins to cower as he crawls back
Bean Cat R: Fish Cat, you are a lot more stronger than her, you can push onwards.
Bean Cat L: Don't let her empty threats get to your head, you got this, Fish Cat!
Fish Cat: F-fine, just show me what you are g-going to do.
Pigge: Good request. Now, what shall I do in order to put you to your misery? Hmm, let's see, we can... pounce on you when you least expect it, slice you up with a knife, make a sushi, there are so many opportunities. Oh I know, I'll just strangle you and ping you onto the grass until you suffocate!
Fish Cat: Okay fine... do it to me. Punish me for showing you disrespect, I deserve it. he sighs as he bows his head down in defeat
Bean Cat L: Fish Cat... what are you doing? he stares at him in disbelief You can stop with this decoy now.
Fish Cat: It's not a decoy. It's an apology, I am turning myself in, so Pigge can punish me.
Pigge: Ah yes, now you finally are using that empty brain of yours! she chuckles away before slamming his head into the floor, it doesn't do much damage because of his trait This won't take long if you don't hesitate. Okay?
Fish Cat: I understand... he sighs as he is grabbed by Pigge
Pigge: Now, get ready to be strangled and suffocated to potential death. Now... here we go!
Pigge rummages her hooves right into Fish Fat's neck. Despite it not doing much damage, she is actually managing to make him suffocate, he squirms around before eventually, passing out and going unconscious. Pigge smirks at the sight, the strongest Anti-Red Cat of The Battle Act was taken down in such a barbaric manner.
Bean Cat R: Fish Cat... tears are forming in his eyes as he just stares in horror, his demeanor instantly changes to anger PIGGE, YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS.
Pigge: Oh yeah? Please! He is down on the floor, you two are worthless against the likes of me. Now, come at me and try to take me down.
Bean Cat L: Oh, you bet your sweet little ass we won't go easy on you, we will absolutely torch you for what you caused our friend to experience. Consider this as, a no mercy protocol.
Pigge: I'd like to see you try! she charges right into them COME AT ME!
Bean Cats and Pigge are charging right into one another. Bean Cats bash right into Pigge a few times until they manage to knock her back, which causes her to push back and bruise up. However, she responds by sending a slam right into their Bean Bod, causing it to get crushed in an instant. The both of the Bean Cats watch in fear.
Pigge: You thought Le'Boin would be your most challenging fighter, and to be fair, so did I, but little do you realize, I am not the type to go easy on the people I hate the most. she spits on the floor as she looks up
Bean Cats simultaneously: Please don't hurt us... we don't mean to cause any trouble! We're so sorry.
Fish Cat: he grabs onto Pigge's shoulders I think you forgot about someone. he grins menacingly behind her back
Pigge: she turns around Wait... WHAT!? B-but... HOW? she is traumatized by Fish Cat's consciousness
Fish Cat: Oh I faked it. The whole thing was an act, you are really gullible, you do realize that?
Bean Cats simultaneously: FISH CAT! they hug him in sorrow and relief
Pigge: B-but, how is that even possible? You seemed genuinely injured and sore.
Fish Cat: he spits out some blood It's made entirely out of YOUR injuries, I just used it and applied it on me in places where you couldn't see. Zombie Cat told me how to do everything with efficiency, and it really worked. Now, I was initially going to let you off the hook, but now that you intimidated Bean Cats, YOU'RE DEAD!
Fish Cat rushes right into Pigge and bites deeply into her rib cage, this results in the skin being peeled as he bites deeper into her. He eventually pins her down and continues to bite, however, Pigge tries to fight back, but all her attempts went to vainas Fish Cat finishes her off with a massive bite into her head, she eventually spews out blood and remains unconscious from the attack. Fish Cat is simply enjoying it all.
Fish Cat: Now, come on guys! Let's try and find the others before we get lost. he rushes towards another fight
Bean Cats simultaneously: ALRIGHT! they quickly bounce behind him
Meanwhile, over in a different area on the Battlefield, Bird Cat and Cat are fighting against Baa Baa. Baa Baa makes the first move against Bird Cat by head butting right into his forehead, this causes Bird Cat to bruise up and for his forehead to swell up. However, he decides to pounce right into him. This results in his neck to begin spewing out blood as he trips on the floor.
Bird Cat: Looks like I have you right where I require you to be, Baa Baa. Now surrender to our might, and we may consider sparing you.
Cat: Wait a second, who the hell is "we"? I want to see Baa Baa on the floor, as he paints the grass red! he giggles as he leans onto Bird Cat
Bird Cat: Negative, Cat! We will not allow Baa Baa to endure such torture unless he really deserves it. It's plain and simple logic really.
Baa Baa: My head hurts. he rubs his head emotionlessly as he stares at them I am going to attack you now.
Cat: Okay, bring it on, sheep boy! he smirks as he rushes right into him
Bird Cat: Oh, be careful Cat! he sighs as he rushes after him
Baa Baa: I will win. You will lose. I am strong. he stares at them blankly
Cat: Oh, shut it already, will you? he growls as he pounces on Baa Baa and pins him down
Baa Baa stares blankly as Cat begins to bite him in the face. Cat is biting right into his nose as he smirks at the sight in front of him. Baa Baa is just letting his nose get crushed up as it spews out blood. But Baa Baa fights back as he begins to push Cat onto the ground and slam into him. This results in his left eye blackening out, his lips to begin bleeding, and to be covered in several bruises. Cat definitely underestimated the true potential of Baa Baa.
Baa Baa: This is almost as funny as my jokes. Ha, ha. he stares down at Cat who manages to get up
Bird Cat: See Cat, what did I recently just notify you about? He is not safe to go head first into. You are an actual lunatic for trying it out. he sighs as he begins flying towards Baa Baa in an attempt to take him down I'll deal with him. You don't have to worry about a thing, Cat.
Cat: he coughs up some blood Fine... go ahead, I'm not going to stop you or anything. After all, it was pretty shitty of me to do that, so I highly apologize for that.
Bird Cat: he smiles warmly Thank you, Cat. And I suppose I should apologize for acting quite rude towards your attempts at showing off your bravery.
Cat: Eh, it's grand. We're friends, friends worry about each other a lot. That shows we are a really good combo! So let's show Baa Baa who is boss!
Baa Baa: Do you wa- gets interrupted by Cat and Bird Cat
Cat and Bird Cat simultaneously: OH BE QUIET, YOU! they charge at him and fight him
And over up north, Axe Cat, Titan Cat, and Bob are taking on Le'Boin. As Axe Cat and Bob didn't do much against Those Guys when they took them down. Le'Boin uses his long range to his advantage as he slams down his trunk onto Titan Car, causing his torso to begin bleeding and bruising up. Bob sends a blow to the side of Le'Boin's trunk, this results in him backing away and tending to his injury. Axe Cat rushes right into Le'Boin and slashes him down with his trusty axe! This results in his face receiving a deep cut, and it spews out blood.
Titan Cat: he groans as he barely stands up Hey... thanks guys, I appreciate the back up. he smirks as he cracks his knuckles Now I believe we should deal with this bastard before he shows us his magazines.
Le'Boin: Oh, enough on my fucking magazines already! They're normal, and they're not those raunchy ones you think I'm into. he slams his feet down, causing Axe Cat to bounce in the air
Axe Cat: Woah, careful where you slam your feet, elephant! The last thing I want is for a fat ass like yourself to suffocate me.
Bob: Bem, já era hora! (Well, it's about damn time!) Time to show Le'Boin we don't fuck with his shit.
Titan Cat: he smirks Let me tell you this. By the time we're sorted with him, he's going to be crying on the floor like a big baby! Who here agrees? Axe Cat and Bob raise their hands
Le'Boin: This cheek you are showing me is absolutely despicable! I'll have you know that you can't get away with this, you dumbass bitches!
Titan Cat: What did you just call them? he clutches his fist as he calms himself down
Le'Boin: I'll have you know, you are an idiot, who can't help but grumble at everything that everyone does.
Titan Cat: he grumbles It's not true.
Axe Cat and Bob simultaneously: they are sniggering away Yeah...
Suddenly, Titan Cat sends a blow to both Bob and Axe Cat's head, they end up bruising up their crowns as they rub it in pain. Titan Cat scoffs as he towers over them.
Titan Cat: You two are supposed to be on MY side here, all you're doing is helping Le'Boin.
Bob: Yeah, fine, I'm sorry for acting like a spastic man. he sighs as he adjusts his brass knuckles Now, can we beat the shit out of Le'Boin for giving you lip?
Le'Boin: Ooh, I must say, I do enjoy witnessing you three get into a big disagreement! It makes me look big in a way. he chuckles away as he stares into their eyes
Bob: You, he points at Le'Boin shut the fuck up before I send a blow right into your face. It will not be pretty. But I believe you got the memo when I pointed at you. he flicks his toothpick as he pounds his fists together
Axe Cat: Oh yeah! Let's show this motherfucker who's boss! But the question is: Who the hell is the boss supposed to be? he glances at everyone
Titan Cat: Me, I am your chaperone, you all do as I say and follow my orders. Except for when I left at Italy, that was to see how you guys were able to handle being in your own, that's why I was last to meet up with you all.
Bob: I guess you could say it worked out. But how the fuck should I know, I've only known you guys for a month. he smirks as he pounces on Le'Boin
Bob grabs Le'Boin and thrashes him down onto the floor. This results in Le'Boin having injures all over his back as it gets cut from all the rocks on the floor. The impact causes a lot of blood to spew. Axe Cat decides to double down on the impact by slicing his abdomen with his axe, this causes his epidermis to peel, and for a lot of blood to spew out. Titan Cat just shrugs as he punches Le'Boin in the trunk, which actually left a vibrant purple bruise on his trunk.
Bob: Heh, olhem isso, o elefante está encolhido. (look at that, the elephant is cowering) Now, do you say it is a good time to beat the living hell out of him, or nah?
Le'Boin: Didn't you already beat the hell out of me!? he gulps as he shakes in fear
Bob: Nope, listen here, we were only just warming up! We have a lot of moves to throw on you, dumbass. he flicks his toothpick as he nudges him
Le'Boin: WHAT!? Are you actually being serious here? Or are you just joking with me?
Bob: Nah, we were only messing with you. But your face when I asked that question is never going to disappear from my memory, like, ever! he cackles away as he shakes him
Titan Cat: But we were considering whether or not to fling you right into that Cat Base over there, you can trust me when I say this. You will be used to this.
Axe Cat: he looks at everyone Now, how about helping me fling him right into the enemy base real quick?
Bob: Com prazer, meu amigo. (With pleasure, my friend) Everyone lift him at the same time!
Bob, Axe Cat, and Titan Cat all grab onto Le'Boin, and they throw him right onto the enemy base, it gets demolished within seconds. And Le'Boin goes unconscious within milliseconds! All three variants of the Fish and Chips treasure come spewing out from the Enemy Base. Bob is quick to grab them as he makes it back to meet up with the Cats.
Cat: Well, Baa Baa, looks like you survived going unconscious from our wrath! What do you have to say for yourself, buddy? he giggles as he nudges him, Baa Baa is bleeding from everywhere, and his right horn is crushed
Baa Baa: I survived from going unconscious. That is good. he walks away as he picks up everyone
Cat: he's visibly bummed out Is that it!? Not even a "yippee" or something? Damn...
Lizard Cat: Hey guys, I'm back from a nap. he yawns as he stretches What did I miss?
The rest of The Battle Act simultaneously: WHERE WERE YOU WHEN WE LITERALLY NEEDED YOU THE MOST? they all glare at him
Lizard Cat: Yeah, we got the treasures so let's head back now! he runs away in fear
Titan Cat: That brat, I swear when the time comes I'm going to kill him. he balls his fists as he shakes them in annoyance
All of The Battle Act make their way inside to conclude a day of ass kicking and brawling. They are all tending to their injuries, except for Lizard Cat, who spent the whole day napping! They are all satisfied with the results of the battle, and are willing to go on for another in their current positions. Eventually, Bob speaks up.
Bob: Well, that was an interesting day for sure! We got to see Le'Boin back on his bullshit. And we made it across basically the entirety of Europe, now, all that's left is the Americas! So, where are we heading to next?
Cat: Well, Bob, to answer your question, we are all going to Greenland! And our goal is to obtain the Santa's Beard treasure variants! Which is also the final treasure required in order to obtain The Legendary Cat Shield! The enemies we will be facing include; Those Guys, Pigge, Sir Seal, and an unknown Red Enemy! So that is definitely interesting. We are also meeting up with The Special Forces and their unknown Cat! So Greenland will have a lot in stock for us, so we better be prepared for what's to come.
Gross Cat: Well, that shows you! Greenland is definitely going to become quite a challenge for sure. Okay, who's coming with me to bed?
Lizard Cat: I already slept though most of the day, so I'm not tired at all!
Cow Cat: Yeah I'm coming! he rushes up ahead Good night everyone! I'll see you all in the morning, when we set up overseas.
And so, The Battle Act make their way to their bedrooms to go to sleep. Concluding yet another adventure. Everyone is happily falling asleep, no- wait... what's going on over here...
Fish Cat: ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT THE TREASURE WE JUST OBTAINED MIGHT CONTAIN REAL FISH IN IT!? I AM SO SCARED FOR MY SANITY RIGHT NOW. WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME THIS EARLIER!?
Bird Cat: Go to sleep, Fish Cat, you're waking everyone up from their slumber.
Fish Cat: No... The UK is after me. They want me dead, they have the King after my head. I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD A BOUNTY!
Titan Cat: he sighs Don't worry, I got this...
Eventually, Titan Cat came with a literal tranquilizer to put him in a tranquil state of mind. He eventually fell asleep in a drugged state. The reason he decided to flip out at midnight, nobody knows! But now everyone is sound asleep, dreaming of many possibilities of the next fight ahead, especially Bob, as he is meeting a new Cat, and a new Enemy. But for now, let's leave them be, and check back up on them tomorrow.
TO BE CONTINUED
Well, if 30 days wasn't a full month, then it's definitely 31! Here nothing new happens, so I once again turned to character dialog to make funny stuff happen. And I wanted to make sure they all got their fair share of chemistry and communication. I am really happy with how I have been doing this for a whole month. On how the average chapter went from 2-3K words, to 4-5k, all the way to 7-8k! I believe I am losing my sanity, but I believe that this will all be worth it once a YouTube video about me comes up, and they point out all my grammar errors, and question my every life decision. BUT HAPPY MONTHAVERSARY I GUESS! YIPPEE!!!
Stay tuned for the next edition coming very soon!
The Battle Cats (2014) and its respective characters and features are all owned by Ponos Corporation.
The character Bob is owned by me, however, feel free to use him, just as long as it's for free and you credit the owner.
One Piece (1997) (The character Franky was referenced in this story) and its respective characters and elements are all owned by Eiichiro Oda, Shōnen, and Toei Animations.
This fiction is 100% unofficial, and can be considered as fan made.