T-2

Sam's eyes were clouded with sleep as she rested her head on the passenger side window of Jen's car. The sun was just starting to peek over the horizon, which to her was a sure sign that it was too early to be out of bed. Yet here she was, listening to Jen softly sing along to the radio as they sped down the interstate, making their way towards their summer destination—Denver, Colorado. Jen, much to Sam's dismay, had insisted on getting an early start that morning. So after waking up before sunrise and loading a few last minute things into Jake's truck for him to take home, they had been off.

Overall, it had been a strange morning. For one thing, she had left campus knowing full well that she was never coming back. That part of her life was over, and in a way, Sam was going to miss it. Accelerating her studies had pretty much consumed the last two years of her life, not leaving room for much else. She had never really thought about what the courses she was working so hard to complete would inevitably lead to; only viewing graduation as an end goal, instead of a starting line. Now she was just a college graduate without a plan, and all she could do was march boldly into the unknown, hoping she could figure something out along the way. As Sam thought about it though, she realized that she wouldn't have it any other way; not having a plan was honestly what she was best at.

At Jen's urging, she had given career counseling a go, and tried to create a logical plan for the future. But in the end she could never stick to it; none of it made sense to her. If she had learned anything by growing up on a ranch, it was that sometimes you just had to trust your gut. You could plan down to the very last detail, but as soon as you were out on the Nevada range you were subject to whatever nature decided to throw at you. Being surrounded by people who had their lives mapped out all the way to retirement had almost caused Sam to forget this. All it had taken was a pregnancy scare to remind her that there would always be unexpected events that could never be planned for, and it was that unknown part of life that made gut instinct so important. Of course, there was a balance, and Sam would still have to figure some things out soon, but she was less worried than she had been a few weeks ago, even kind of excited to see what happened next.

Sam's eyes focused on the world outside her window, the rising sun now illuminating the sandy plains of southern Nevada. The desert terrain was a familiar sight, even though they were on the opposite side of the state from where they lived. A wave of sadness washed over Sam. While she couldn't wait to spend a summer with Jen, she really missed home. When she had called River Bend to tell her family about the trip, she had almost given up on going. Her family supported her decision though, which helped build her conviction. Well, at least Gram and Brynna did. They both thought it would be good for her to "broaden her horizons". Dad hadn't said much, as was the cowboy way, but she knew it was just a front. Normally, she knew he would have tried to persuade her out of going so far away, especially since it would be just her and Jen. He was still pretty overprotective when it came to her, but it had gotten better now that Cody, her rambunctious four-year-old brother, needed extra attention. Although Sam guessed the reason he had remained so quiet this time was due to the support she had from two very stubborn Forster women.

Obviously, it wasn't just her family that had almost made her decide to go home. She was really missing the horses too. Sam loved all of River Bend's horses, but she couldn't help the small smile as she thought of the horses she called her own—Ace, Tempest, Dark Sunshine, and of course the legendary Phantom…her Zanzibar. Sam sighed softly to herself. Even though Sunny wasn't technically hers, since her family was only a foster for her, she couldn't help but have a special place in her heart for the petite, buckskin mare. Who was she kidding? She had a soft spot for horses in general. She hadn't been riding since she was last home for Christmas break, and now it would be many more months until she would be able to fly over the wide open range she knew so well. She hoped she would at least be able to ride a bit in Colorado; they were boarding at a ranch after all.

Sam, realizing her brain was too active to try and get anymore sleep, stretched, arms reaching over her head as she cleared away any last bits of drowsiness. Jen stopped her humming and glanced over at her from the driver's seat, noticing her movement, "I hope you got your beauty sleep Princess."

She smirked at her friend's sarcasm; she had missed it all those times Jen had been pining for Ryan. "You know, I wish I could have but something kept disturbing me…a pea perhaps?"

Jen laughed as she brought her travel mug up to her lips. The scent of coffee filled the car, making Sam scrunch her nose in disgust. She really wasn't fond of coffee. She preferred hot chocolate, or at least a mocha. Jen though, drank straight black coffee.

Jen noticed her involuntary shudder and rolled her eyes, "Oh, come on. Are you sure you're even a rancher? No coffee, no waking up early—what's next?"

"Hmm…" Sam tapped her chin, "Well, my roping still pretty much sucks." They were both laughing now, and she could feel her earlier sadness start to fade away. It was going to be a lot of fun with Jen this summer, and Nevada would always be there for her when their trip was over.

As their laughter died down, the only sound in the car was the low music playing from the radio. Sam glanced over at Jen, who raised her brow in question as she continued the conversation, "Speaking of roping…what was up with you and Jake this morning?"

She avoided the question with a snort, "Really? That's your best lead in?"

Jen looked smug as she took another swig of coffee, "Uh, yeah? Not only is Jake a renowned roper, but he also gave you your first roping lesson, so I'd say it's a great lead in. Now, clearly, something's up with you two, and if you want my help, you should stop stalling and tell me what's going on."

Sam scowled at her, even though Jen was focusing on the road ahead and wouldn't see it. One of the things she loved most about Jen was how blunt she was, but right at this moment she wished that she wasn't. Truthfully, she wasn't sure what had happened with her and Jake this morning. She'd tried to dismiss it as her reading too much into things, but Jen had noticed that something was off too, and that made her uneasy. She had been desperately trying to forget about the events since they had left; but now, all she could do was stare out her window, lost in thought as her mind slipped back to the confusing morning.

To any bystander, things would have seemed completely normal. Her and Jen had been talking circles around Jake, who was silently helping them load their things into his truck. Occasionally he would interject with a teasing remark, either about their hoard of stuff he had to take home or Sam's zombie-like state, but most of the morning he just had a lazy tomcat grin on his face.

She had noticed his grin immediately; not because it was out of the ordinary, but because it looked practiced and put on. Again, this wasn't completely unlike Jake. It was hard to get a genuine reaction out of him, and she had probably seen that exact look millions of times when he had been forced to be around strangers or people he didn't like. He had even hidden his genuine thoughts and feelings around her before, likely more times than she even knew of. But this morning was different. All of those instances, that she could recall anyway, had been when he was hiding his fear. What did he have to be afraid of now though? Everything was working out for him. He had just graduated, earning his four year degree; he was going home, able to spend time with their families and the horses; he didn't even need to worry about finding work, since he'd already had multiple people offer him jobs upon his graduation. That actually ticked her off a bit; here she was unsure of everything to come, and he had people coming to him to ask if he'd work for them without even lifting a finger. She immediately regretted the thought as it crossed her mind; that was just her insecurity talking. He had worked really hard, even earning a track scholarship and graduating top of the class. He deserved every offer he got. None of that, not even his put on grin, was the true cause of her unease anyways.

What really bothered her the most about this morning was how he'd seemed so nonchalant. Not once throughout the entire morning had he indicated in any way that he would miss her this summer. She felt foolish for thinking that way, and unnecessarily clingy. It wasn't like this was the first time they had spent time away from each other, they were their own people after all. Not only was there the time she had spent in San Francisco after her accident, but more recently they had also spent the majority of two years separated during Jake's freshman and sophomore years of college. Although she had to admit that this time was different; leaving Darton County had only made them grow closer these past couple years.

At home, while they had always spent time together and worked together, they'd also had separate circles when it came to friends. That had changed once they'd left. Now, while they both had acquaintances they had made at college, the only friendship they had outside of their own was Jen, and that was really only on Sam's part. However, Jen had successfully expanded her group of friends, and had spent a lot of time in various clubs and study groups; which meant that oftentimes Jake and her had spent their free time together, just the two of them. She had grown used to, even quite fond of, how intimate their friendship had become. Maybe that's why she was having such a hard time seeing him go. Still, it wasn't like she was expecting a tearful goodbye or even a hug goodbye, no matter how much she had wanted to hug him this morning. But she had been crushed when he had climbed into his truck without a word, barely even sparing her a glance.

Surely, she was just overanalyzing things. Jake had no reason to be as closed off as he had been this morning. Then again…Sam shuddered to herself. Maybe this was all her fault. What if she had freaked him out or something? She had been the first one to bring up "the night", even if it had been completely by accident. That being said, Jake had seemed decently open to talking about it. When she hadn't brought it up again after it initially slipped out, he'd been the one to continue the conversation, asking her if she had regretted it. That couldn't be what was bothering him, but she couldn't think of anything else that could have made him uncomfortable. Unless…maybe while she had been enjoying how close they had grown, it had been too much for Jake. If that was the case, she could see the appeal of spending a summer apart. She was confused by the sudden aching feeling that spread through her at the thought, and wondered where it had come from.

Suddenly, Jen's voice broke through her daze, "Hello? Earth to Sam…"

Her eyes stung as she blinked, trying to refocus her attention as she gathered her surroundings. When had they pulled over? Turning to look over towards the driver's seat, she found Jen watching her carefully. How long had she been trying to get her attention?

"Sorry…I don't know what just happened." She tried to laugh it off, but it fell flat. Great, just great.

Jen, pragmatic as always, had an answer ready, "Well, for starters, you just completely zoned out on me." Her eyes were analyzing Sam's every move, "Is everything ok? What happened between you and Jake?"

Sam groaned internally. She couldn't just say "nothing", Jen knew her too well and would see right through it, "I'm…not really sure." Well, it wasn't a complete lie.

Jen gave her a dubious look, but kept her thoughts to herself as she started the car and pulled back onto the freeway. Both girls remained silent; the tension in the car being loud enough on its own. It was making Sam feel fidgety, so she leaned forward and turned up the radio, hoping it would be a good distraction.

It wasn't that Sam didn't trust Jen enough to talk to her about things; part of her just wanted to break down and tell her everything. One of her natural talents was rational thinking and getting to the bottom of things, and selfishly, Sam could really use that right now. But there was just too much to go over, especially considering Jen still had no idea about "the night". She didn't feel right dumping all of her personal drama on her friend, especially not now, since she was supposed to be focusing on herself after the ordeal with Ryan. This was a "summer of Jen", not a "summer of Jen helping Sam deal with the fact that her entire life was crumbling right before her eyes". She had already helped her fair share during the torture that had been Sam's graduation day. So how could she even begin to explain everything else, which she wasn't sure she even understood herself?

The answer was, she couldn't. She couldn't explain anything, if for no other reason than out of respect for Jen. Sam was a big girl—no, she was a cowgirl—and she was just going to have to bear this alone.

Whatever "this" was.