Chapter 9
Valentine's Day
I hardly slept that night, my brain was replaying the events of the party over and over again. Pansy hadn't spoken a word to either of us the rest of the party and Zabini seemed to have guessed what happened. He wore a 'I called it' look on his face that quickly irritated me.
The rest of winter break was filled with awkward moments between Draco and me. Neither of us had brought up what had happened Christmas Eve, but it was clear we were both thinking about it. The train ride back to Hogwarts was uncomfortable, Pansy sat in the corner of the compartment either ignoring us or shooting us dirty looks. It didn't help that Zabini was completely amused by the situation.
Day after we arrived back at Hogwarts, the school was buzzing with talks of homework and quidditch. Draco, who was sitting next to me during breakfast, nudged me and showed me The Prophet. Ten black-and-white pictures covered the front page, nine showing wizards and the tenth was a witch. The headline and article read:
MASS BREAKOUT FROM AZKABAN
MINISTRY FEARS BLACK IS "RALLYING POINT"
FOR OLD DEATH EATERS
The Ministry of Magic announced late last night that there has been a mass breakout from Azkaban. Speaking to reporters in his private office, Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic, confirmed that ten high-security prisoners escaped in the early hours of yesterday evening, and that he has already informed the Muggle Prime Minister of the dangerous nature of these individuals.
"We find ourselves, most unfortunately, in the same position we were two and a half years ago when the murderer Sirius Black escaped," said Fudge last night. "Nor do we think the two breakouts are unrelated. An escape of this magnitude suggests outside help, and we must remember that Black, as the first person ever to break out of Azkaban, would be ideally placed to help others follow in his footsteps. We think it likely that these individuals, who include Black's cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange, have rallied around Black as their leader. We are, however, doing all we can to round up the criminals and beg the magical community to remain alert and cautious. On no account should any of these individuals be approached."
I scoffed at the article. I knew my Godfather had nothing to do with this breakout, the last thing he would do was help Voldemort. Of course, Fudge didn't really have a choice in blaming him. He had spent the entire summer claiming my brother and Dumbledore were crazy for suggesting Voldemort's return.
I took another glance around the Great Hall, no one seemed worried about the article, but then again not many students received the Prophet. The only students I noticed with a worrying expression were, of course, my brother and his friends. Hermione was reading the paper, Harry looking over her shoulder. Ron was shoving food in his mouth while the three of them conversed.
I turned my eyes to the staff table. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall were deep in conversation, both looking extremely grave. Professor Sprout had the Prophet propped against a bottle of ketchup and was reading the front page with such concentration that she was not noticing the gentle drip of egg yolk falling into her lap from her stationary spoon. Meanwhile, at the far end of the table, Professor Umbridge was tucking into a bowl of porridge. For once her pouchy toad's eyes were not sweeping the Great Hall looking for misbehaving students. She scowled as she gulped down her food and every now and then she shot a malevolent glance up the table to where Dumbledore and McGonagall were talking so intently.
"Looks like His plans are progressing," Draco whispered into my ear. A small shiver went down my back at the feel of his breath against my skin.
"Yeah, and my Godfather is taking the blame." I whispered back. Draco shrugged his shoulders before responding.
"True," he said softly, "does that bother you?" He put his hand on my leg, trying to offer comfort.
"No," I tried to ignore his hand, "as far as I am aware my Godfather is safe in hiding. The Ministry won't be able to find him."
"This one," he pointed towards the heavy lidded witch with a mess of curly black hair, "is my aunt, Bellatrix Lestrange."
"Really?" I asked, studying her face more closely. There was a slight resemblance between the two of them.
"I expect you'll get to meet her this summer," he mused quietly. I was unsure if I should have felt excited or intimidated.
During the next few days the news of the Death Eaters who escaped Azkaban flew around the school. As well as the news of Hagrid being put on probation, although this news was not nearly as impactful. The Slytherins, and quite a few from other houses, were unbothered, happy even, at this news.
It seemed like many students were struggling to believe the Prophets version of how and why ten Death Eaters escaped. Mutters and murmurs of how Harry and Dumbledore may have had a point when they said Voldemort returned. With people starting to change their minds about Harry, I was once again becoming the 'evil Potter twin'.
"If Harry was speaking the truth, then why wasn't Chloe ever on his side?" "She isn't even on speaking terms with him anymore, I heard she spent the summer at the Malfoy's." "He must not trust her anymore, I know I wouldn't, she's in Slytherin after all." I'd hear in the halls as I walked to and from classes. People began to avoid making eye contact with me as though they would turn into stone if they looked at me.
It was not only the students' mood that had changed. It was now quite common to come across two or three teachers conversing in low, urgent whispers in the corridors, breaking off their conversations the moment they saw students approaching. I assumed they weren't able to talk freely in the staff room anymore, not with Umbridge there.
The morning after the escape was announced, a new Educational Decree was posted in the common room. It banned teachers from giving students any information that had nothing to do with their subjects. Clearly she was trying to stop the spread of information.
Umbridge was now attending every Divination and Care of Magical Creatures lesson. She was determined to sack someone before the end of term, it was just a question of who it would be, Trelawney or Hagrid. Neither of them were doing particularly well in teaching their classes. Trelawney had grown anxious, struggling to answer Umbridge's questions and demands. Hagrid would lose his train of thought, and stumbled on his answers to both Umbridge and students.
The days flew by, filled with mountains of homework. It was common to see fellow fifth years staying up late into the night attempting to catch up on work. On top of that Pansy continued to refuse to speak to either Draco or me. This made it much harder to do things like practice spells for Defense Against the Dark Arts, or even just relax in the common room without her glaring at us.
"For Merlin's sake Pansy," Draco angrily said after she shot us a dirty look while we were sitting next to each other, "will you just give it up?"
"I won't," she snarled, "not until you promise the two of you aren't a 'thing'."
"It's none of your business," Draco shot back.
"Pansy," I said tentatively, "Draco and I aren't a 'thing'."
It was the truth. Neither of us actually spoke to the other about Christmas Eve; we just awkwardly didn't acknowledge it. There was no conversation about what our almost kiss meant, or whether or not we were in a relationship. Besides, I wasn't sure I was ready to pursue any sort of relationship outside of a friendship with Draco, even if I couldn't get him off my mind.
"What do you mean?" Draco asked me, looking a bit hurt.
"I mean," I looked up at him from my Charms textbook, "that we never decided we would be a 'thing'."
Pansy squinted her eyes at the two of us, trying to decide if I was telling the truth. After a moment of careful calculation she gave me a small nod. I suppose the look of hurt and surprise on Draco's face was enough for her.
"Well," she said with a satisfied smirk, "that's that then." She turned to Draco, who was silently fuming, "I'd like to remind you that your family has certain expectations for your relationships. Purebloods are to be with Purebloods, no offense Chloe." She gave what was supposed to be an apologetic look, but it looked more condescending.
I felt my cheeks flush, now I was starting to feel angry. What was with all this 'Purebloods have to be with Purebloods' bullshit all of a sudden? It never seemed to matter to her before. I was just as good as any of them at magic, and Voldemort showed interest in me and what I could do for him. Although, I suppose she didn't know much about that last part.
"Pansy you better stop talking before you say something you'll regret," Draco seethed through clenched teeth. Pansy looked taken aback.
"I'm only saying what our parents have been telling us since we were children," she argued.
"Maybe we don't have to be with other Purebloods," Draco glared at her, "maybe it's time we decide to be with whoever we want, so long as they aren't Mudbloods."
"Do you really think your parents would approve of Chloe?" Pansy sounded annoyed.
"My mom likes Chloe just fine." Draco answered defiantly.
"Liking and approving are two different things," Pansy pointed out.
I held my hands up, fed up with their argument. "Can you both just shut it?" They both turned towards me. "Pansy, I thought we were good enough friends that this kind of thing wouldn't matter to you." I said, making eye contact with her. She bit her lip, looking uncomfortable. I closed my Charms textbook and put it in my bag. "I'm going to bed."
As the days went by and February drew closer, the tension between Pansy, Draco, and I seemed to lessen. Pansy stopped glaring at us and the awkwardness between Draco and I almost disappeared. Almost.
It was a chilly Saturday afternoon, snow was drifting softly from the sky adding to the mountains of it that was already covering the grounds. I had left my friends in the common room to go to the library; the common room was loud with other Slytherins playing games and chatting with no volume control. I needed a quiet room if I was going to get enough studying in.
I strode in the library, my bag slung over my shoulder. The library was normally pretty quiet, with the exception of whispers between friends. When I entered the room the already quiet room became even quieter. I felt the eyes of other Hogwarts students on me as I walked through the room. I found an empty table near the back of the library and sat down. Three Hufflepuffs from the table next to mine packed up their things and left in a hurry. At least I'd be left alone to do my studying.
Not even ten minutes into studying, I was interrupted. I felt the presence of someone standing to the left of me. I let out a sigh before looking up to see who dared interrupt me. It was Harry.
"I'm surprised you're here alone," he said softly. His green eyes met mine.
"Apparently that was a mistake," I sighed.
"Chloe, I need to talk to you." His voice sounded urgent.
"I'm not interested," I turned away from my brother and back towards the book I was reading.
"This is serious Chloe, things are getting scary out there. I'm sure you've heard the news about the Death Eaters."
"So what?" I waved my hand dismissively. "It makes no difference to me."
"Makes no difference?" Harry whispered angrily. "You do realize that they were in Azkaban for torturing and murdering people, right?" I ignored him because he was right. "Chloe, Sirius and I are worried about you. You've distanced yourself from us and are associating with kids of known Death Eaters. You know all about the bad things they did, that Voldemort did and will do again. I don't understand why you're okay hanging around people like Malfoy."
"Don't you say a word against Draco," I seethed out of clenched teeth. "He has done nothing but been there for me when I needed somebody."
"I can be there when you need somebody," Harry said. "I'm your brother, I've been there for you your whole life."
"You didn't do anything to try and save Cedric," I glared up at my brother, tears forming in the corner of my eyes.
"I couldn't do anything to save Cedric," Harry said softly and full of regret. "It all happened so fast, there was no time to react when Wormtail came out of nowhere and attacked us." He placed a hand on my shoulder and I shrugged it off and looked back towards my book.
"Cedric deserves to be avenged, his death was unfair." I muttered, wiping the tears that fell from my eyes. "At least in the position I've put myself in I have a chance to make things right."
"What are you talking about? What position are you in?" Harry sounded concerned for me. I chuckled lightly, amused by his concern.
"Never you mind, just stay out of my way Harry." I turned back
"Leave her alone," a stern voice said. I looked up and saw Draco standing on the other side of the table. He had his arm crossed as he scowled at my brother.
"This doesn't concern you, Malfoy." Harry said disdainfully. Draco moved protectively to my right side.
"You heard her, stay out of our way." I could feel the tension in the room rising. Not wanting another fight to break out, I quickly put my belongings back in my bag and stood up.
"Let's get out of here." I grabbed Draco's hand and practically dragged him out of the library, leaving Harry behind.
Once we were in the corridor I let out a huff of air. Draco gave my hand a small squeeze.
"You okay?" he asked.
"Yeah," I slipped my hand out of his, "I'm fine."
"What did he want?" Draco looked disappointed when I took my hand away.
"Same old, same old." I answered with a wave of my hand. "That he and Sirius are worried about me, that I shouldn't be associating myself with the likes of you."
"The likes of me?" Draco chuckled. "Do tell."
"Well you know, the fact your parents are Death Eaters and are helping the Dark Lord again."
"Oh no," Draco said sarcastically, "how horrible."
"Some people do think it's horrible," I pointed out.
"But you don't?"
"I…" Honestly? I didn't like all the torturing and murdering of innocent people, muggles and wizards alike. But my alliance with the Dark Lord had more to do with the opportunity to get revenge for Cedric and to keep myself off of his radar, not because I believed only Purebloods and Half-bloods should be able to practice magic.
"You know what, don't answer that." Draco said.
We were almost to the door that led to the dungeons. We walked in silence, down the steps and into the cold, damp corridors of the dungeons. Before I could turn towards the Slytherin common room, Draco pulled me into an empty classroom.
"What are you doing?" I asked, surprised. I looked around the room that was filled with dusty tables and chairs.
"I wanted to talk to you about something," Draco said as he closed the door behind him. "It's why I followed you to the library, but I had to wait a few minutes so Pansy wouldn't say anything. You know she wouldn't like it if we left together." He was rambling nervously.
"Yeah?" I asked slowly.
"Ever since Christmas Eve I feel like things have been kind of awkward between us," Draco said, his eyes shifting anxiously.
I nodded in agreement.
"I guess it's obvious now," he continued, "I have feelings for you." I bit my lip as butterflies flew around in my stomach. "I know things for you are more complicated," he was referring to Cedric, "and I don't want you to feel like you have to figure those feelings out more quickly for me. I just want you to know where I stand." By the time he was done talking his face had turned a light shade of pink.
It was clear to me that Draco had spent a lot of time trying to figure out exactly what to say to me. I appreciated that he was taking my feelings into account, because he was right, things are more complicated for me. While I knew now I had some sort of feelings for Draco, I still was having a hard time imagining myself with someone other than Cedric.
"I think," I said slowly, trying to compose myself, "I think something changed on Christmas Eve. If we weren't interrupted that night, I was going to," my face flushed as I thought of what almost happened, "let you kiss me." Draco took a step closer to me. "I-I just don't know if I'm ready to be in a relationship with someone."
"We can go slow," he said, taking another step towards me. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. "What if," he was standing directly in front of me now, "we go to Hogsmeade together, just the two of us. We can reevaluate after we spend some time together alone. " I licked my lips nervously, his eyes darted down to my lips and then back up to meet mine.
"I-I would like that," I finally stammered out. He smiled broadly and for a moment I thought he was going to lean towards my face, but instead he took a step back.
"We should head back to the common room." I nodded and we left the empty, unused, classroom.
As the next Hogsmeade weekend drew closer, it happened to fall on Valentines Day, I began to feel a mix of excitement and anxiety. We were all sitting in the common room, doing homework once again, a couple of days before Valentines Day. I broke the quill I was using to write my Potions essay.
"Urgh," I moaned as I rummaged through my bag for a new one, "be right back, need to grab a quill from my trunk." I stood up and headed towards the girl dormitory.
"Would you grab my spare bottle of ink while you're down there?" Pansy called after me. I gave her a thumbs up as I walked away.
It took me longer than I expected to grab a quill and Pansy's ink bottle. I had to dig to the bottom of my trunk in order to find a quill. Luckily Pansy kept her extra bottle at her bedside table. With the objects of my task in hand, I headed back to the common room.
When I emerged from the dormitory, I noticed Pansy and Draco having a whispered argument. Pansy's face was flushed with anger and Draco looked annoyed with her. As I approached the two of them, Pansy noticed me coming. She gave me a glare before turning away and grabbing her things.
"What's going on?" I asked when I reached everyone. Without saying a word, Pansy snatched the ink bottle out of my hand and left the common room. I turned towards Draco, confusion etched over my face.
"I told her we were going to Hogsmeade, together." He answered.
"Oh," I said softly. That would explain why they were arguing.
"She didn't take it very well," Draco said.
"Obviously," Zabini said nonchalantly, "she does have a major crush on you." Draco turned towards him.
"And that's supposed to mean that I have to be with her?"
"No," Zabini answered, "but it doesn't mean her feelings aren't hurt. I mean, how did you feel when Potter and Diggory got together?"
"Shut it," Draco said, his face turning a light shade of pink.
"What's he talking about?" I asked, looking between the two of them.
"Nothing," Draco said, a bit louder than I was sure he intended to. Zabini snickered from the green armchair he was sitting in.
"Obviously it's not nothing," I said.
"It's nothing I want to discuss right now," Draco said, glaring at Zabini.
I dropped the subject, and we moved on to finishing our work and then enjoying the rest of the day relaxing by the fire.
Valentine's Day finally arrived and my nerves were all over the place. The weather was still chilly, although all the snow had recently melted, so I put on a warm cloak and headed out of the girls dormitory. On my way out, I noticed Pansy was already gone, her bed made neatly. I wondered what her plans were for the day, and then felt a bit sad. She hadn't spoken to me since the day Draco told her we were going to Hogsmeade alone.
I made my way to the Great Hall to eat some breakfast and meet up with Draco. I was in the middle of eating eggs and toast when he sat down next to me.
"Morning," Draco greeted as he grabbed himself a piece of toast.
"Morning," I repeated after swallowing the food in my mouth. I felt butterflies flood my stomach just thinking about spending the day with Draco, which never happened before Christmas Eve. We made some small talk while eating, and before I knew it we were on our way.
We joined the line of students waiting to go out of the castle. At the end of the line was Mr. Filch signing out all the students leaving. Once we were out in the cold but fresh air, we made our way out of the school grounds and into the small village of Hogsmeade.
As we walked through the village, we were close enough to each other that our fingers would gently brush up against each other. We passed Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop and I glanced in, curious to see what was inside. To my surprise I saw my brother and Cho Chang sitting at a table talking. Chang seemed rather upset about something, and Harry looked confused and frustrated with his situation.
"Draco, look at this," I said, gesturing towards the window. Draco peeked in and let out a light chuckle.
"Looks like your idiot brother doesn't even know how to talk to girls," he smirked. "He's clearly said something to upset her." I nodded in agreement.
"Let's go," I said, turning away from the tea shop. I didn't want to spend the day complaining about my brother.
We continued down the street and ended up at Honeydukes. A light rain had started just as we arrived at the entrance. Draco pulled the door open and the air of sugary goodness flooded my nose. I let out a sigh of content as I walked in. Draco hurried in after me. We wandered around the shop, grabbing Chocolate Frogs, Cauldron Cakes, Fizzing Whizzbees, and some Crystalized Pineapples. With our pockets feeling a little bit lighter, we carried our bags out onto the street where the light rain turned into a downpour.
"Let's get something warm to drink," Draco suggested, pulling up the hood of his cloak. I agreed with him and we hurried up the water-sloshed street towards the Three Broomsticks.
The pub was warm and inviting. Shaking off the rain from our cloaks, we looked around the room for an empty table. I spotted a table near the middle of the pub. I grabbed Draco's hand and pulled him towards it. We sat down at the empty table and ordered two butterbeers. Instead of sitting across from Draco, I opted to sit down next to him. The pub was clamorous and this would allow us to converse without having to speak too loudly.
"I wish it wasn't raining," Draco said wistfully as he looked out the window.
"The rain certainly brings a chill with it," I said while rubbing my hands together. Thankfully our warm tankards of butterbeer arrived and I was warming them up on the surface.
"I wanted to take you somewhere just out of the town," Draco said disheartenedly, "but the rain doesn't look like it's going to let up anytime soon."
"Somewhere outside of town?" I asked curiously.
"I'll have to take you there some other time," he said with a half smile.
"I can't wait," I said before taking a sip of butterbeer. The liquid warmed my chest and I let out a sigh of content. "What were we going to do?"
Draco gave me a wider smile, "You'll have to find out another time."
"Rude," I teased. "Why can't you tell me now?"
"'Cause I wanted it to be a surprise," he took a sip of butterbeer, "and now you'll have to wait until next time."
"Fine," I rolled my eyes playfully at him. "What do you want to do instead?"
"Spend time with you," Draco answered without missing a beat.
I chuckled out lightly, "You are spending time with me."
He leaned in close and whispered in my ear, "And there's nowhere else I'd rather be." My cheeks flushed lightly.
"Since when are you so cheesy?"
"I'm not being cheesy; I'm being truthful." Draco said, crossing his arms defiantly.
"Ok, if we are being truthful," I said thoughtfully, "when did you start having feelings for me?" It was a question that had been on my mind since he told me he had feelings for me.
Draco was silent for a moment before answering. "I think I've always had feelings for you. At first they were just friendship feelings, like during our first year. But then we weren't friends, and I thought I hated you."
"Geez, thanks," I muttered. This wasn't exactly the answer I thought he was going to give.
"Let me finish," Draco said with a small shake of his head. "I watched you a lot during those two years." His face flushed at his words. "I watched you struggle during our second year, trying to solve the mystery of the Chamber of Secrets. I felt bad for you when Granger got petrified, you were so unhappy at losing a friend, and then I began to feel regret for cutting you off from our friendship." He paused to take a drink of his butterbeer.
"Then during our third year I could see how much stronger you were. You were strongly affected by the dementors, more than most people. But you didn't let that stop you from overcoming the problem and learning how to defend yourself from them. It takes a serious amount of skill to produce a patronus. I found myself feeling envious of your brother, Granger, and Weasley. The four of you were building a bond with each other that I haven't had with anyone."
"I'd like to point out that I never had a bond with Weasley," I gagged after saying his name. "I tolerated him for my brother, and to be honest I don't think he ever liked me. He has something against Slytherins, no matter who they might be." Draco let out a chuckle.
"Right, then a bond three of you were making," he corrected himself. "Before the start of last year, after the events of the Quidditch World Cup, I knew something big was going to happen. That you potentially would be in danger, and I wanted to be there for you. I decided I didn't want to be on the sidelines anymore, so I swallowed my pride and apologized.
"As we were becoming friends again, and I was working to earn your trust, that's when I realized I had feelings for you. How could I not after watching you become a strong, amazing witch?" I blushed at his words. "But before I could do anything about my feelings, you started dating Diggory. I was too late, and you were so happy. I tried to bury my feelings because I refused to do anything to jeopardize our friendship again. Even if it meant watching the girl I love be with someone else."
My heart skipped a beat, "the girl you love?" I said softly. My hands fidgeted anxiously on my lap.
"This isn't exactly how I imagined telling you," Draco said, steadying my hands in his. I looked up at his stormy gray eyes and in that moment I knew he meant what he said. "Chloe, I love you."
I awkwardly opened and closed my mouth, looking like a fish out of water. He put a finger on my mouth, stopping me from opening and closing it, leaned down and planted a kiss on my forehead.
"I don't expect a response, I want you to figure out how you feel." He continued, taking a sip of his butterbeer. "Please, take all the time you need."
I was grateful he wasn't expecting me to respond to his confession. We finished our butterbeers while making small talk about school. Having nothing else to do in Hogsmeade, we decided to head back to the castle.
As we navigated through the crowded pub I noticed Harry sitting at a table not too far from where we were, with an interesting choice of accompaniment. Hermione, Luna Lovegood, and Rita Skeeter were all sitting with him and talking in low voices.
"I wonder what they are doing," I said thoughtfully as we exited the pub.
"A reporter and the daughter of a magazine editor with your brother," Draco said, rubbing his chin. "Surely he isn't thinking of publishing a story in the Quibbler."
"The Quibbler?" I asked as we walked through the wet streets.
"A magazine that usually writes about weird and non-existent magical creatures." Draco said disdainfully. "It's not usually a magazine read for news or anything of substance."
"I guess we'll find out," I said.
I had a feeling that Harry wanted to get his version of what happened at the end of last year out in the open. Even if it meant publishing it in a magazine that no one took seriously. The rest of the walk back up to the castle was in silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts.
When we arrived back in the Slytherin common room, I excused myself to my dorm. I laid down in my four-poster bed and allowed myself to think back to everything that happened today. I wrapped myself up in my blankets and dozed off, thoughts of Draco never leaving my mind.
AN: Thank you for reading! If you're enjoying the story, let me know by leaving a review.