Chapter 15: Robot Babysitter
"Greetings Robin, Speedy, Kid Flash, and Aqualad I will be watching you until your mentors return from their mission. I will warn you that my databases do not hold much information on the care of children so I will need your assistance in knowing what to do." Red Tornado said in a monotone voice.
"Wow you're a real robot!" Dick said with a wowed gasp, forgetting he was upset by his father leaving without him.
"That is correct Robin I am an artificial intelligence that has been programmed into a mechanical vessel or as you humans commonly refer to, a robot." Red Tornado answered in the same tone as earlier.
"So why exactly are you the one babysitting us?" Roy asked angstily, hating being treated like a little kid.
"The other Justice League members thought my lack of emotion would be suited to keep you all under control. As I have come to know, you have a history for causing trouble and swaying the better judgment of the members of the league with your child-like charms." Red Tornado said as if he read it off some league report like a script.
"Fair enough." Roy sighed, knowing there was going to be no way around the robot before them.
"However I also volunteered for this position in the hopes of understanding more about human interaction, especially that of children, due to my lack of interaction and contact. So I would like to observe your activities to gain said understanding." Red Tornado explained further.
It was then Roy's unpleasant expression turned into that of a mischievous smile, realizing that they could use the robots' desires to cause absolute mayhem and he wouldn't even realize it.
"Well good news for you then we actually were about to play our favorite game. It's a pretty common one for kids to play so I'm sure you can learn a lot about kids from just watching that. It's called pillow fort war." Roy said as he tried to fake innocence.
Immediately after he said the name of the game Wally and Dick squealed with excitement and mischief. For Pillow Fort Wars was a game they played the first time they ever had a sleepover together, but it was banned by their mentors due to its absolute mess and mayhem it created. Let's just say Green Arrow's living room took five league members and three days to finally restore it back to its original state after that sleepover.
"What is Pillow Fort War?" Kaldur asked curiously.
"Follow me and I'll show you." Roy said as he then ran off to the living room of Mount Justice.
"Yeah Pillow Fort War!" Wally squealed as he sped to follow Roy.
Kaldur, not wanting to miss out on more play time with his new friends, followed suit and ran after them. As Red Tornado observed this he felt a tug in his leg making him look down only to see Robin pulling on him with great joy.
"Come on Red Tornado! You have ta join us, it'll be fun!" Dick requested excitedly.
Looking down at the little cape and mask clad boy wonder Red Tornado felt an unfamiliar pang/spark in his circuits that made him want to follow and do whatever the boy said. Were these the child-like charms he had read and heard about?
"Very well Robin, I will follow you." Red Tornado stated in monotone, but yet with an almost undetectable trace of happiness.
One Hour Later
The living room of Mount Justice was an absolute disaster, every cushion in the base was either sprawled across the floor or stacked in tall but shabby looking forts. Blankets were also everywhere in messy bundles, tied to pillow forts to keep them stable, and wrapped little boys cozily like soft caps. Every pillow in sight was used as a projectile to destroy one of the three forts in the living room since powers weren't allowed.
"Roy, are you sure the other mentors will be ok with this game? It has left a very large mess." Kaldur asked nervously to Roy, having teamed up with him for the game since he was new.
"Take this Dick, cushion spiral bomb!" Roy yelled loudly as he threw a spiraling couch cushion at Dick's fort.
However before it could even hit the base Red Tornado, who was teamed up with Robin, caught it with his large red metal arm.
"Yeah! You caught it, you caught it!" Dick squealed as he joyfully bounced on his knees.
"This is a most interesting children's activity." Red Tornado observed with great curiosity.
"Hey why do you both get partners while I have to play by myself?!" Wally whined as he sat alone under his pillow fort.
"Because we agreed you could still use your super speed since you don't have a partner! Now stop complaining and play!" Roy bellowed as he then threw another pillow only at Wally this time.
"Fine, then take this!" Wally grumbled as he caught the pillow and threw it at super speed at Roy and Kaldur.
For what seemed like another hour the kids and Red Tornado continued on with their game. They even eventually got Kaldur comfortable enough to actually play rather than hide the entire time, making him giggle and act more like a normal little boy than he had all day. Throughout that hour they tossed pillows, couch cushions, and blankets at each other till at last all the cushion towers were demolished except Wally's.
"Haha I win, and all by myself too!!" Wally cheered proudly as he bounced up and down joyfully.
"Yeah yeah congrats baby flash, but don't forget you got to use your powers too." Roy grumbled embarrassed he lost to a freaking seven year old.
"Hey you all got partners and you let me use my powers so it's only fair." Wally said as he stuck out his tongue spitefully.
"It doesn't matter who's da winner, we had fun and daddy says thats all that matters." Dick interjected, ironically being the voice of reason despite being the youngest.
"You are wise beyond your years little one." Kaldur praised kindly as he affectionately ruffled the tiny boys soft dark hair.
Dick smiled back, already considering Kaldur a new addition to his ever growing group of big brothers. With the five year old's smile everyone else joined, each finding their baby brother's smile incredibly infectious. Then as the boys all smiled and talked about their fun game all their stomachs growled loudly at the same time. Without even a word Wally sped over to Red Tornado and grabbed one of his large red legs and looked up at him longingly.
"Red Tornado can we eat now, we're hungry!" Wally whined as his belly was racked with hunger.
Red Tornado looked down at the hungry little boy before him. Now while he didn't have the urges of hunger, he did understand that humans needed nourishment. So knowing he was left to care and watch over the young protégés, he decided to help them relieve their hunger.
"Very well, I believe the Justice League keeps the kitchen in the facility well supplied in case of a level five emergency." Red Tornado said as he robotically turned around and led the kids to the kitchen.
Together the four little protégés followed Red Tornado excitedly, each of them feeling very hungry. It didn't take long before they arrived at Mount Justice's positively enormous kitchen. It had two massive fridges, a triple decker oven, the world's deepest pantry, every kitchen tool one could ask for, and a plethora of food of every kind. Once in the kitchen Red Tornado went over to the fridge and opened one of the monstrous fridges. As the cold air and bright white light hit the protégés faces their little eyes widened with wonder and an animalistic hunger.
Before them was just about every single food, drink or snack item one could wish for, seemingly enough to feed a whole army with leftovers to spare. The boys were practically salivating over it neither sure where to start with their gorgefest.
"Based on my calculations this should prove more than sufficient to satisfy the needs of hunger experienced by humans." Red Tornado said, very monotone.
"I call the chicken!" Wally declared as he bolted to the fridge and took the whole rotisserie chicken in the fridge.
"Chocolate cake!" Dick squealed as he pulled the ginormous cake, holding it over his small head, from the lowest shelf.
"I have always wanted to try what you surface dwellers call cheese." Kaldur said as he pulled out a large block of tillamook cheddar.
"You can't just eat a block of cheese, you have to have it with something. Hey there's tortilla chips in the pantry, let's make nachos! I bet you've never had those before!" Roy said as he climbed the shelves of the pantry to grab the tortilla chips, as well as the cheese grater he saw.
From there the boys went to town crudely preparing themselves food, which of course made a huge mess. Within thirty minutes they ate several plates of nachos, half the chocolate cake, and several of the other snack foods they had in the pantry. They then proceeded to make their own desserts, since apparently half a chocolate cake wasn't enough for them.
Wally went through eight different types of ice cream, half a can of whipped cream, a quarter gallon of chocolate sauce, a couple handfuls of nuts, and 20 maraschino cherries to make what was probably the world's largest fudge sundae. Roy decided to introduce Kaldur to s'mores, causing them to tear through two 12 packs of Hershey chocolate bars, three bags of marshmallows, and five packs of graham crackers. Meanwhile Dick had coerced Red Tornado into helping him make chocolate chip cookies, apparently the little boy's charm even worked on robots too.
By the time they all finished up in the kitchen it was covered in sugar, flour, melted chocolate, cooked marshmallow, melted ice cream, nut pieces, graham cracker dust, and all the utensils and tools used to make the boys treats. But there were no indications that the little protégés were going to clean up for they all were in the midst of a sugar rush. Red Tornado watched as the hyper little boys ran after each other in a game of tag, played a round of the floor is lava, built an obstacle course, ran and flipped about the obstacle course multiple times, and much much more in their sugar high.
However little by little he watched as they started to slow down a bit. It started small with them not running as fast, then suddenly they got quieter, following that they started to yawn one by one and progressively more often, and then they started to rub their tired little eyes. They were all in the living room when the first to tap out and take an impromptu nap on the couch was Kaldur. Having never been exposed to sugar or human food before then he was taken out the fastest.
Following him was Wally who after running himself into a mini tornado, leaving tracks all over the floor, was knocked out on the coffee table. He was covered in sticky ice cream, fudge sauce smudged all over his face, and laying in the weirdest position that to anyone else would have caused severe back and neck pain when they woke up. Then Roy finally crashed on the plush carpet right next to the couch where Kaldur was sleeping. He claimed that napping was for babies and little kids, so needless to say he would be eating his words when the mentors got back.
Lastly and most reluctant was Dick who very sleepily walked over to try and wake his friends up, all while he rubbed his eyes and yawned vigorously. But after several attempts and no sign of them waking up the poor little boy left and tiredly looked for someone to play with him. However as Dick slowly moved through the halls his feet dragged heavier and his eyes dropped to the point of nearly being closed. Despite his great efforts to fight his inevitable nap little Dick fell asleep right on the floor of the hallway at last succumbing to the major sugar crash he was experiencing.
For a few minutes Dick just laid there until much to his luck Red Tornado came walking down the hall and found him. Knowing this was not how human beings were supposed to sleep he mechanically picked up the little boy off the floor. As he did so it disturbed Dick a little, making him mumble in his sleep.
"I'm na..sleepy." Dick mumbled as he wrapped his arms around Red Tornado's neck, laid his head on his shoulder, and snuggled the warm metal chest.
"That is incorrect, your state completely indicates fatigue and exhaustion caused by an excessive intake of sugar." Red Tornado said in his deep monotone voice as he walked to the living room.
As he did so he couldn't help but feel the same spark he did when he was touched by Dick earlier. It was warm and comforting, something he didn't know his programming allowed him to feel. He continued to contemplate this as he carried Dick to the living room, from there he used his tornado powers to gently lift the other boys and set up the living room as a napping area. His systems knew that young children often required naps after long exertions of energy so he pulled the pull out bed from the couch and gently laid all four protégés in the bed.
Once they were all tucked in, Red Tornado started to turn to leave, but stopped as he saw the boys do something. He watched as they curled up together adorably, each wrapping their arms around one another as a protective circle of brotherhood. Once again the warm feeling came upon him, the boys were indeed quite charming and he felt what he could only identify as care for them. Humans were indeed strange and he didn't always understand them, but it appeared he had much to learn about himself. Filled with great curiosity and wonder, Red Tornado sat in a chair and watched them sleep peacefully, taken by these rambunctious, energetic, innocent, and lovable little boys.
One Hour later
"Just when I thought they couldn't cause more of a mess." Green Arrow cringed as he rubbed his hand frustratedly against his face.
"This is like watchtower kitchen 2.0, no 3.0! Is that melted marshmallow on the ceiling!" Flash said exasperated.
"It appears they took down more than junk food, the entire rotisserie chicken and block of cheese are gone, among other things." Batman said stoically, not surprised knowing the power of his son's appetite alone.
"I'm afraid I'm mostly to blame for this, I have yet to properly introduce Aqualad to surface cuisine. And unfortunately Atlanteans can have a very addictive and ravenous reaction on our first time of consumption." Aquaman apologized very sincerely and formally.
"Don't blame yourself Aquaman, we should have known they would do this and with a robot who knows little about appropriate food measures or really anything about kids." Green Arrow assured, feeling very foolish.
"Speaking of children and robots, where are the boys and Red Tornado ?" Batman asked sternly but internally worried about the state of his son.
"I'm sure they're fine, probably just going wild somewhere like they normally do." Flash assumed since it was the norm.
For a few minutes the four heroes looked around for their protégés and red robot until they came upon them in the living room. There they saw all four boys cuddled together on the pullout bed from the couch as Red Tornado watched them, it was quite adorable needless to say.
" I see you have returned." Red Tornado said rather loudly as he noticed the heroes standing behind him.
"Red Tornado shhhh, you'll wake the kids." Flash instructed quietly, knowing all too well the consequences of waking napping children no matter their age.
"I apologize, I will modify my speaking function to be quieter." Red Tornado said much more quietly.
"Thank you Red Tornado, how were the children?" Aquaman asked earnestly.
"They were most interesting to observe, I had no idea young children had such endless levels of energy. It was quite informative to my growing understanding of human beings. Children are quiet social creatures who desire acceptance and it seems in this case the young protégés freely gave that."
"That's our boys, they can be a handful but they're truly good little guys." Green Arrow said proudly.
"We've raised them as best we could, neither of them have had it easy but their resilience and good natures prevails. We'll simply have to continue to nurture and guide them and they'll turn out to be great forces of good." Batman said stoically but with the same sense of pride Green Arrow did.
From their they just watched the young protégés sleep, happy to see the four boys with very rough and traumatizing pasts rest so peacefully and among those who understood and loved them.