Child of the Cross Chapter 35: Battle Fatigue, an assassin's creed fanfic

Alright, I feel like this chapter is empty of emotion, but I really tried. I am not going to lie, I have been trying to write about Catherine having a mental illness if anyone has picked up on it. She has a small form of PTSD, I suspected Shay could suffer from it too. That's why I named this chapter called Battle Fatigue. I know this an illness that can affect anyone due to a traumatic event in their life. I just wanted to give a warning about it. There was no call for it back in the 18th century, I did my reading about it, so it was harder to write about it.

-Moon

It was strange being on the Morrigan again for the teenager. Standing on the deck was like a whole different existence that she never lived. How would life be if she grew up on a ship with her father?

She was cleared by a doctor to be moving around that her father hired for her care on their voyage to Boston. Though she had strict orders to not overwork herself from the doctor. For now, she wanted to work on getting her full strength back.

She used the ship's railing to keep herself steady as she walked. Under Christopher Gist watchful eye, he supported her with each step. He laid his hand across her back to make sure she was steady. The girl's shoulders were draped in a wool blanket to keep warm from the cold's bitterness. Dressed in old clothes that belonged to her father. Shay had not said much to her since their encounter in the cabin. Things were sour between the father and daughter.

"There you go, lass. At this rate, you will be faster than your ole man." Gist smiled like a caring uncle.

She could remember flashes of Gist from when she was a child. He was kind her. The moment they stepped into New York after she smuggled herself on the Morrigan he took her under his wing. He had taken her the kitchen to steal cake and wait for her father.

Catherine rolled her. "Or maybe I will be faster than you, old man. You are what? In your seventies? Surprise you haven't dropped dead from smallpox."

"I actually had smallpox, but I am still standing." He rolled up his sleeves to show the scars that plagued his skin. "I was lucky it didn't affect my face, or how would I attract pretty women."

Catherine bit her tongue trying not to laugh at the quartermaster. She leaned against the railing to take a rest from the light thud of pain. "I think, I need a break."

"Are you sure? We are almost halfway up the ship." He asked.

"I just need to sit and rest." Catherine wanted to have a few moments to breath.

She didn't have time to soak in the information about what her father said about Achilles.

Gist kicked a create to her direction for her to sit and enjoy the fresh air. Catherine leaned against the ship's railing with her back to the water. She overlooked the crew that her father had command over. A few curious spectators that whispered amongst themselves, mostly like about her.

"I like to be alone for a bit."

"Are you sure?"

Catherine nodded in response. "I want to feel the air then head back inside."

Gist nodded, "If you say so, lass."

She closed her tired eyes for a moment to listen to the sound of breeze that blew into the proud red sails. The cry of Aries and his feathered friends melted away. She could feel the cold spray from the open sea. She tightened her blanket around herself to stop the cold November air. Her simple blanket wasn't enough to keep her fully warm.

Her lips were chapped to the point that they were cracked and peeling. She was in pain when she would move them. The cold air bit the tip of her nose and burned cheeks.

It was freezing, but she enjoyed the cold. Catherine shoved her in hand into her pocket having an alternative motive. A piece of paper brushed against her hand inside her pocket. Before she had left the cabin with Gist, she wrote a quick letter in the early morning before her father woke up.

He was peacefully asleep on a spare cot he kept in the cabin. She had written a quick letter to Connor while tipping toe around the Templar. She would have to wait until she had a moment to deliver it.

"Aren't you a pretty sight for sore eyes." Catherine's head shot up at the comment. She two older men walked towards her, breaking from their work.

"What do you want fellas?" Catherine asked glancing towards them. "You sure you are smart to be talkin' to the captain daughter."

"Aye. We were just curious about the captains to estrange lil girl."

Catherine extended her arms out with a taunting smile. "There is nothing to see here boys."

The middle man chuckled, "We just wanted to welcome you and give you this." He reached into his pocket to hand her a flask.

Catherine took it from him before giving the contents of the flask a sniff. It was some kind of herbal mixture with a hint of whiskey.

"It's to help the bite of pain. I am no stranger to gunshot wounds like that."

Catherine gave a nod before taking a sip, she winced at the poor taste of the homemade remedy.

"I know it's nasty love, but you're going to feel better in the hour." He patted her shoulder. "You should join us down in the galley for music and good company. The captain joins us most of the time, so it should be fine."

"Thank you, but I just need rest." She smiled.

A loud whistle caught the attention of the three men. Gist had placed his fingers to his lips and blew, "Alright lads! I know she's pretty but you can talk to the captain's daughter later. Get back to work." He shouted to the three men.

She turned her back on them as her Aries landed next to her, chowing on a fresh fish he had caught from the sea. Catherine could feel the bold stare from her father and his first mate. The young novice just needed to sneak the message to Aries. Blowing a whistle past her chap lips, Aries hopped off the railing and into her lap to watch her mistress. Slowly, she snuck the letter from her pocket.

"Connor, take this to Connor," Catherine whispered to her friend. "Please."

Aries golden eyes mirrored her own eyes as if he understood what she was being asked. Using his sharp talons, he snatched the piece of parchment from her fingers before taking off. Relief washed over her like a wave crashing onto the beach.

"Catherine?" Her father's smoothed Irish tone called to her.

She turned her head to see Shay was staring at him only a few feet away. "Where is your lil friend going?"

Catherine huffed, "I am not his master, he goes too and from wherever he wishes."

Shay crossed his arms over his chest. "You should go rest," He reached over to grabbed her forearm gently. He helped her stand up from her spot. "And try drinking Davy's batched of his brewed drink. It helps."

"No offense papa, it smells like cat piss."

"I know, though, it's a miracle remedy." He guided her back to his quarters. Opening the door for his daughter to allow her in. "Go lay down and sleep."

Catherine paused where she stood. "How much longer is this going to go on? You will have to leave again soon as we get to Boston."

"I won't have too unless you don't tell me where the box is. "

Catherine shook her head. "I can't do that, I'd be putting good people at risk."

"And I am sure they feel the same about you. Look, you can do what you please as soon as I have the box. I prefer if you stayed with me, but I know how much you despise me."

"I don't despise at you. I am just angry. You only came back because you heard my mother had the box for the last decade."

"I came back to surprise you and her. But I ended up being the one surprised when I heard my wife was dead and my girl was gone. It was even more surprising that my wife had hidden the one item I was looking for that kept us apart as a family. This is really not fair Catherine, I am not the villain here."

"Neither are the Assassins. No one needs to have such a power, it was better in ma's position. It would be kept far away from the Assassins and the Templars."

"That is what I want. I want to return the box to its place of birth, where it can never be touched again."

Catherine sat on the bed. "I don't trust Haytham, or Lee with such an item. How do I know you're not going to turn it over to them." She got herself settled by kicking off her boots.

"I'm not. Haytham has tasked me with hiding it from the world. No one will have to suffer at the hands of the ones who control this device. He wishes to not know the location of it or any documentation of it."

The girl pulled the covers of her blanket over her as she laid down. "If I tell you where it is. Good people will get hurt including a child."

Shay looked concerned. Who would bring such a young child into this mess? He avoided his own family for years at a time so no danger would come to them.

"How old?"

"He's almost four, sweet boy. He does not deserve to be alone in this world just because of his family line of work…I should know." Catherine eyed him.

Shay felt another twinge to the gut at her comment. It was another jab towards his role as a father.

"It pained me to leave you. I didn't want to leave you, but you were safer home with your mother."

Catherine closed her eyes tightly, as she laid down. "Yet, he's still able to bring his own child with him."

Shay leaned against the wall watching her, only one person came to mind. Azure, had mentioned him once before, "Is the man named Dorian? The name you stole?"

"Leave him out of it."

"Does he have the box?"

Catherine didn't play her hand of emotions, but she was quiet that confirmed his answer. "Catherine If you tell me where he is-"

"So you can kill him?"

"I saw you slip a note to your little friend. Don't play coy. You are telling them you are returning to Boston."

"I just told Connor I was safe, I would not risk his, or anyone else safety. I wrote in that note I was safe and hope to hear a return."

Shay saw the emotions in Catherine's eyes when she talked about the boy. " Well, if you get a reply, tell them that if they bring the box personally. You can go. Do what you want, just stay out of Haytham's way for god sake." He crossed the room quickly to tuck her in. "I can't stop what he does, but he will kill you if you get involved with his plans."

She yanked the blanket from his hands as she curled up away. "You and Ma told me to stand for what I believe in. Speak when I see wrong."

"I know. I am so proud of you for your convictions, but if you are going to fight. Stay away from the colonies. Come with me, we can put that box where no one can find it and we can be a family."

"It's too late for that…"Catherine closed her eyes tightly. "I need rest.."

"You should. For now, I will sit with you trying to get through some of these papers."

Catherine tried to relax. Her father had caused a rise in her that made it hard for her to sleep. She listened to the rustling of papers on his desk and the soft sounds of his hum as his quill stroke across the paper.

His low hum lulls her to sleep with the mix of the homemade remedy. A wave of calmness overcame her until she felt fear and sadness in her dreams.

Smoke explodes from the tip of the muskets. Bullets raided the innocent bystander's bodies as they dropped to the ground, dead. Blood pooled at the young girl's feet as the sky turned maroon with cruel. laughter echoed in her ears. In a mirror view of the blood, she saw her mother kneel on the ground crying.

"Catherine!"

She was too far away, but Catherine had to get to her. Creeping from the darkness, Lee stood up behind her mother with a pistol raised.

"Catherine, dear girl, you should of listen to your mother." He replied coldly as he pressed his flintlock pistol against Rose's head. "She still be alive if you had not disobeyed."

"Catherine help-" A loud bang cut off her sentence leaving a bloody hole through her skull.

"You need to stop this before they kill more." A calm voice whispered in her ear. "End them all before they destroyed the world."

Catherine gasped for breath in the dark. Digging her nails into her palms, she tried to steady her breathing. The young woman reminded herself over and over again that the nightmare was over. Though, it felt like the nightmare would never end. The dreams would never stop haunting her.

The teenager laid quiet in bed. She was alone in the dark, she didn't know how long she was out, but she knew it was a little bit after sunset. Catherine could hear the light thud of music and laughter below her in the galley. The invitation floated in her mind, but she wasn't in the mood for such an occasion. She wanted to lay in bed with misery. The red hair girl felt frustrated at the situation that she found herself in.

Catherine wished her father would understand why she was angry. Her mother was dead and she was being used to find an ancient box.

The one good thing about laying alone, the homemade remedy was work. She didn't feel pain in her gut anymore. Reaching over to grab the flask, she took a sip of the drink. She tried to not to spit out the drink.

The doors to the captains quarters open with Shay walking in with a smile on his face. "How are you feeling?" He must of left her alone to go down to the galley.

"A bit better," Catherine fidget with the blanket, she sat up with her shoulders hunched over. She tried to hide her trembles, but Shay could see it.

"No your not," he walked over to the bed as he lite a candle with a match. Catherine didn't pay attention to where he got the match or the candle. "You're covered in sweat." He placed the back of his hand across her forehead. "You don't have a fever."

"It's normal. I get night sweats." She quivered. Her Irish accent could be heard above a whisper.

Shay furrowed his brow in concern for his daughter. "'You have dreams."

Catherine sucked in a deep breath. "Nightmares. It's normal now."

Shay saw Catherine's shoulders relaxed inviting him to sit next to her. "They shouldn't be."

It was hard for Shay to see Catherine in this shape. She was falling apart before his very eyes.

"Well, they are." Under the candlelight, he could see the afflicted eyes of the young girl. "It's about mom. It's another reason why I hate the Templars… I am tormented by the worst day of my life. I can't even fire a gun because I panic about the noise."

Shay touched her hand squeezing. "This isn't easy for me to tell you this, but I know of these dreams you are speaking of. There are times where I feel like I am reliving that day, I feel agitated, anger… It was hard at first. I know you feel guilty about your mother."

"It's my fault," Catherine spoke above a whisper. "I don't know why I feel like this."

Shay's eyes were filled with pity. "It's not... You were in the wrong place, wrong time." He clutched her hand tightly, showing his daughter she wasn't alone.

"Lisbon, I have soul-crushing dreams about it every night. " Shay started "I still don't feel peace about it. It's something I wish you would never have to experience."

Catherine was afraid the ask from the look of turmoil in his chocolate brown eyes. "How bad was it?"

"I will spare you the details, girl."

The man before her that was cloak in shadow and secrecy. It was still hard to wonder about why he would not take her side, but he had formed bonds with the Templars. They were his second family, from what she was told from every angle.

The Templars had reunited Shay with his wife and newborn child. The letters she read, a Master Templar by the name George Monroe gave her father a second chance at life. He was given a chance of redemption.

"I know you want to avenge your mother, but I ask you don't act hastily. It is unfair for Achilles to place you in this position." Shay felt dishearten."I am branded as a traitor towards the Assassin Brotherhood. It doesn't matter how I am perceived, Catherine, all it matters is that I follow my own creed. You should take your own path. Not one that Achilles has laid out for revenge. I will be proud of whatever you decide."

"Is it true about Achilles? Did he try to kill me."

Shay shook his head. "I would suggest asking from the horse's mouth on that one. He didn't plan it, but he didn't stop it."

Catherine glanced at her father, "You're not going to let me leave until the box is found?"

Shay shook his head, "This is up to you. Just tell me where it is, and no one will have to get hurt."

In the moment of serenity, she wanted to, but she didn't know what would happen. She didn't want the Templars to succeed. "I don't know where it is. They are going to send it far away from me though so its harder to track."

Shay accepted it, he leaned over and kissed her forehead. "That's all I need to know." He sighed, "Do you really want to be in France?"

"I raged about being an Assassin to get under your and Haytham's skin. " Catherine said with a smug smile. "But yes, I do."

Shay didn't find it funny, "Catherine you need to stay out of his way. He to threaten to kill you if you're not careful."

"Then I should leave the colonies for the next few years,"

"I don't want you to go with the Assassins, but you do what you feel right." He gripped her hand. "Promise me if you are in trouble you will call on me. I will go to the ends of the earth for you,"

Catherine looked him into the eye, she didn't say anything but throw her arms around her father. "I love you, Papa."

"I love you too, Sprout," he whispered softly as he stroke her hair.

Connor's fingers played with a twig on the roof of the manor. He missed Catherine's company. He couldn't count the number of times they sat on the front porch just talking after a long day of training. He could still feel her warm touch on his arm whenever she gently shook him while laughing as she told him a story. It has been two weeks since he saw her leave in the carriage to the party.

He hadn't expressed or confined his feelings with anyone about Catherine. He felt awaken around her like she breathed life into him. They were both young and trying circumstances. It was best to push it aside until the Templars were taken care of. He wanted to keep her friendship.

In the cold November breeze, a soft song whistled through the air. Aries sailed through the air above the young Native's head. He made a swift landing next to the young man with a damp letter in between his golden talons. He hopped into Connor's lap letting go of the paper. Giving a gentle scratch between his feather, he took the letter from him.

Flipping it open, he let his eyes scan the note.

Connor,

I am alright. My father is keeping me on his ship and we are heading back home. He is actively looking for the box and the letters. I ask of you not to bring it to Boston, but I do ask a favor of Lance. He is a skilled craftsman. I hope you know what I am asking for. Bring a duplicate of the box. Hurry, please. Make sure Dorian knows I will be traveling with him to France. I may end up dead over this.

-C. C

Connor stood up too quickly and climbed down the side of Davenport Manor. He entered the manor where Achilles was talking with Charles Dorian. Little Arno sat on the floor playing with a wooden horse. James was slouching in a corner, pouting. He had been quiet ever since he returned with the native.

"Catherine is alive."

Charles snapped his attention to the boy. "How do you know?"

"She wrote to me." He held up her letter. "She had Aries deliver it."

James awoke from his depressive state and rushed over to snatch the letter from him. "It's her handwriting."

"What did she say?" Achilles asked.

"She needs our carpenter, Lance to make a duplicate of the precursor box," Connor said it was a brilliant idea that may work.

"Will, that work?" Charles asked as bent down to his son eye level to pick him up.

Achilles scratched his chin to try to weight in the idea. "Shay had only seen the box on a few occasions. I am sure Lance can do such a project that will buy Catherine enough time to escape."

"Which means we will have to leave Boston as soon as we can. I will have a ship arranged for us to sail here to the homestead bay."

"Is Catherine coming back?" Arno asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Yes, my dear boy," Charles replied smiling to his son. Patting his hair. "Now its time for bed." The young child smiled as he hugged his father's neck as he left the room.

The entire room could breathe with a sigh of relief. Their comrade was alright and safe.

James looked unsure before he spoke up again. "I want to help."

Connor shot the young man a nasty look. "You helped enough. Just stay here with your family."

James stood with a solemn look of understanding. He knew it was his fault for Catherine being in the shot. He had his finger on the trigger after all. "I will go then…I will apologize to her when you all come back." He didn't say another word before leaving the assassins presence.

"I would talk to our skilled carpenter in the morning. Bring him the box to make sure he makes it exact." Achilles gave a worry side eye to Connor. "This won't fully fool Shay, but it will give time for them to leave the country. Hoping that Catherine spins believable lie to her own father."

"Are you sure he won't hurt her if she is caught?"

"I don't know. He did kill his own brother in law. A man he could practically call his own brother. Just be careful. Make contact with Catherine and get out. He is a man with years of training while your just a boy. I've grown fond of you two running about, so I don't want either of you dead." Achilles poked Connor's chest with his cane.

Connor could only smile, he recalled the scowls Achilles gave him when they first met. The sarcastic comments towards his abilities. Now he was saying he was fond of the two teenagers living under his roof.

Connor was feeling at home even though he'd had been gone from his village. He was going to miss Catherine, but she would be back as promised. She swore she'd help him.

"Yes, my dear boy," Charles replied smiling to his son. Patting his hair. "Now its time for bed." The young child smiled as he hugged his father's neck as he left the room.

The entire room could breathe with a sigh of relief. Their comrade was alright and safe.

James looked unsure before he spoke up again. "I want to help."

Connor shot the young man a nasty look. "You helped enough. Just stay here with your family."

"Are you sure he won't hurt her if she is caught?"

Connor was feeling at home even though he'd had been gone from his village. He was going to miss Catherine, but she would be back as promise. She swore she'd help him.