Hotch had been gone for three days now. He was confident that he would be home tomorrow, midmorning. He called every day, twice or thrice a day to check up. Tonight when I walked passed his office on my way to our room, I heard a faint sound. I went in and stood silently to see if I could figure out what it was. It was a buzzing sound. I walked around his desk slowly and found that the buzzing object – most likely a phone – was in his locked drawer.

I got my phone out of my pocket and called him. We had only just hung up before I came upstairs so I was sure I wasn't going to wake or interrupt him too much. "Hotchner."

"There is a phone ringing in your desk drawer that you locked."

"…That shouldn't be ringing. It should be off."

"Why do you have a third phone that I don't know about? Why is it kept in a locked drawer?"

"I can't talk about it right now."

"Why not?"

"Sweetheart, I promise I will explain when I get home."

I took in an unsteady breath, "Are you cheating on me?"

I heard him sigh on the other end, "No Emily, I promise. You are the only person I have eyes for; you know that" He sounded like he was telling the truth but I couldn't see him. I didn't reply, so he spoke again, "Emily? Please tell me you're hearing me when I tell you that I love you and I would never do that to you."

I swallowed hard and looked down to the drawer when the phone started buzzing again, "I hear you. The phone is ringing again – whoever that is really wants to speak with you."

"It's on silent?"

"Mmhmm."

"Okay, close the door and go to bed. Don't worry about it, and I will tell you about it tomorrow when I get home. I promise you Emily, it is not what you think."

"Okay." I said quietly.

"I love you." His tone sounded almost like a question, like he wanted to make sure I would return the words. I didn't, I just hung up. I left the room and closed the door like he said, and then stood in the hallway, a little lost.

I wanted to call JJ, but I felt ashamed talking to her since we had Elise. She was such a fantastic mother, and I wasn't. I didn't enjoy feeling like she was judging or pitying me. Instead, I texted Morgan to see if he was awake or busy. He replied within a couple of minutes, saying he was available. My phone rang a second later. "What's cookin; good lookin'?" He spoke before I even greeted him.

I smiled to myself despite the mood I was in. "Hey. So…I found a lock on one of Hotch's drawers that wasn't there before and there is a phone I don't know about ringing and he just told me not to worry and he'd tell me about it when he got home."

"Whoa, slow down. Could he lock the drawer to keep the files away from the kids?"

"He keeps his files in a safe."

"Okay, so it's a little weird. Could it be an old business or personal phone?"

"Don't think so – and it rang three consecutive times whilst I was in there, so whoever it was really wanted to talk to him."

"…Break the lock?"

"Do you think he's cheating? Because I said that and he said he wasn't and he sounded truthful, but it was also only over the phone so I couldn't see him. "What if I break the lock and it's something completely innocent, and then he returns home to see that I have no trust in him."

"Well that's the question Emily. Do you trust him?"

I sighed, "Yes. I trust him, but I also really need to know."

"You can wait until tomorrow."

"But—"

"Emily, you and Hotch are both struggling right now and I think a fight over you breaking a lock is going to cause many more issues that can be avoided if you just wait twelve hours. If you go to sleep, it'll only feel like four hours."

"Bold of you to assume that I could sleep eight hours." I joked. I heard him laugh. "Thank you for talking me off the ledge. I'll see you probably in a few days."

"Goodnight Princess." He hung up and I went into my room just as Elise was waking. I ran back down to make a bottle and returned to her. I fed her and she drank herself back to sleep. Hopefully that would do her for a few hours and I could get some sleep.

I couldn't sleep, though. My mind was running a hundred miles a minute thinking up the worst-case scenarios. My anxiety was flaring up and I suddenly felt very unsure of myself and our marriage.

I would have only gotten about three hours of sleep before I woke to my phone ringing. It woke Elise, and a second later I heard Jack yell out from down the hall; clearly she, the phone, or both had woken him. "Hello?" I answered it as I got up and went over to the bassinet.

"Break the lock and break the phone, now." Hotch said quickly.

"What?"

"Emily! Go and break the phone! Now!" He sounded almost panicked.

I left the baby crying and ran down the hall to the drawer. I had to put the phone down and use all my effort to pull the drawer open with no tools, and then I got the phone out. The screen lit up when I looked at it, "Eleven missed calls from the same number."

"Break it Emily, please? Now." He begged. I shook my head as I banged it into the corner of the desk a couple of times to make sure it was sufficiently broken. "Did you break it?"

"Yes. Now do you want to tell me what the hell is going on?"

"I need you to get both kids and go to JJ and Will's place."

"No."

"Emily, god… please!?"

"Why!?" I yelled into the phone.

"Because you could be in danger right now if that phone was tracked and I am not there to help you if you are. Just get a bag, get the kids, and go! We are leaving at first light and I will come straight to JJ's and explain. Now go! And call me when you get there to let me know that you're alright." He hung up straight away.

I started to panic and I ran back into my room. Jack was awake and rubbing his eyes in the doorway and Elise continued to cry as I packed the bag. I asked Jack to go pack a bag for himself in his room, and then I ran downstairs to grab the formula and bottles. I packed it all up quickly as well as all other necessities and took them all to the car in the garage. I ran back upstairs, wrapped Elise in a blanket and went to Jack. He was just zipping his bag up and I guided him downstairs.

I got her into the car and went to help him buckle himself in. "Emily, I'm scared." He whispered to me fearfully.

"It's okay, Jack. I promise we're going to be okay," I nodded and kissed his forehead, "We're going over to Henry's house, okay?"

He just nodded. I closed his door and ran around to my door.

Just as I rounded the corner out of our street, I heard a lot of gunfire coming from behind us. My heart sped up – was that at our house? Was I moments away from losing the kids in a shoot up?

When we got to Will and JJ's house, Will was already outside and ran over to the car. "Park in the garage so your car is hidden." He instructed. I pulled in and he got Jack out, as well as most of the bags. I got Elise and the last two bags and followed him inside.

"Do you know what's going on?" I asked him.

He shook his head, "Hotch called me and said you and the kids were in danger and needed to hide out here for the night, and that I'm not allowed to tell JJ."

"Emily?" Jack asked in a small voice from behind me. I handed Elise – who was asleep again – over to Will and then turned around and knelt down to Jack's height.

"Honey, we're safe here, okay? I promise that I'm not going to let anything happen to you or your sister. Now, let's get you to bed, okay?"

"Can I sleep with you?" He asked. I just nodded and took his hand as I led him to the guest room. A portable cot was already set up in there. Will followed me in and lay Elise down for me.

I got Jack into bed and kissed his head before leaving the room with Will again. "The house is locked up – I didn't see anyone around when you pulled into the street so I assume you weren't followed anyway. I'm a light sleeper, I've got the safe unlocked for the night so I can get to my gun quickly."

"It's not my first rodeo, Will."

"I don't doubt that darlin'. But when your kids are involved, there is always going to be worry and fear."

I let out a breath and smiled gratefully, "Thank you for helping us."

"Anytime. Try to get some sleep."

When I woke in the morning, it was to Hotch's hushed voice talking to Jack. He asked the boy to go play with Henry so that he could talk to me. Down the hall, I could hear JJ talking in a baby voice, so she must have had Elise. I opened my eyes and sat up when I heard the door close. "Good morning." He said quietly as he sat down in front of me.

"What is going on?" I asked harshly.

He sighed, "The last few of months, every time that I have left after the kids went to bed to get files from the office, or catch up with Dave on the weekends, I was not actually doing those things," He took a deep breath, "Strauss asked me to be the handler for a short undercover mission an agent was taking on. It was only supposed to be eight weeks. That is what that phone was for. The mission was targeting the top members of a drug cartel with some of the world's biggest drug lord names. I got him through it and the mission ended. After you called me last night, I called Strauss and the head of DEA about it, and they had a tech look into the phone. It was off, but the cartel somehow reactivated it to track it, because they found out who the agent was and realised that his phone he left behind would have contacts to the FBI."

I was fuming. How could he undertake such a dangerous job and not tell me about it? "If I were two minutes slower, I and both kids would all be dead right now."

"What?" He looked at me with wide eyes.

"As I pulled out of our street, there was a lot of gunfire. I guarantee you; they shot up our house."

"God, I am so sorry." He reached a hand out to me and I swatted it away.

"Don't touch me, Aaron. You lied to me for months and endangered me and our defenceless children. We could have DIED!" I yelled at him. He looked so guilty. He looked down and shook his head to himself.

I got out of bed and left the room. JJ and Will were both at the end of the hall and I was sure had heard me yell at him. I went into the bathroom and locked myself in. I showered and then sat in there for a while before I pulled myself together and left the room. "Do you guys mind watching the kids for a while so I can go and see what damage was done?"

"Sure, but what damage? What is going on?" JJ asked.

"The house was shot up last night." I said as I shrugged my coat on and grabbed my keys and bag. I kissed Elise and Jack both on the head as I passed them. When I opened the front door, Hotch was on the porch and was putting his phone into his pocket.

"Where are you going?"

"To go see how much it's going to take to fix our house. I suggest you go and clean up your mess, because I'm going to be furious if I can't go back home."

I drove the twenty-minute stretch home and sat in my car out the front as I looked at the house. All of the windows at the front were smashed, the walls looked like it had been painted with polka dots with the amount of bullets through it. They used automatic weapons; that much was evident in the pattern of the bullets.

A car pulled up behind me, and then another across the road and I panicked before I realised that they were Morgan and Rossi's cars. Rossi and Reid stepped out across the road, and Morgan and Garcia got out behind my car. I took a breath and got out of my car. Garcia hugged me and then looked at the house.

"What happened?" Reid asked.

I shook my head, "Something about drug lords and an undercover mission. You'll have to ask Hotch for the details. He didn't tell me about it, and then I and both kids were minutes away from being dead."

"I don't think he ever intended on endangering any of you." Rossi tried to reason. I just glared at him.

"I don't have the patience or calmness for this." I got back into my car and drove away quickly.

I relocated to Rossi's place with the kids and I made Hotch go to a hotel. It had been almost two months. He came over to see them every weekday afternoon and I would make myself scarce whilst they spent time with him. On the weekends, he would take them out to the park or lunch or something. He tried to talk to me about it several times, but I always brushed him off. I was so angry.

Today, I got the call that the house was finally finished. We could go back. Garcia and Reid were visiting, so I left the kids with them and Rossi, and went to the house. It looked the same as it did before it was shot up now. I let myself inside and felt my hope deflate. A lot of the furniture was broken. We'd need new end tables in the entryway, new décor in the living room and dining room, a new couch.

I went upstairs. My bed had bullet holes across the headboard. That was unsettling. The bassinet had one hole ripped through it. Jack's room, being at the back of the house, looked untouched. That was comforting. Both offices were fine. The spare bedroom would need some replacement décor items too.

I heard the door open downstairs and took my gun out. Before I made it to the staircase, I heard his voice, "Emily?" He called out.

I holstered my gun and went down, "What?" I looked at him.

"Looks like we need to go shopping…"

"I can do it myself. You just go and keep pretending that this wasn't your fault."

"I get it, Emily. I lied to you, and you feel betrayed and upset. I understand that. I should have left that phone at the precinct; that was stupid on my part. I never meant for this to happen, sweetheart. Please, let's just work this out."

I motioned for him to follow me and went up to our bedroom. "Look at the headboard. Now look at the bassinet. If she were in bed, she would have been shot. If I were feeding her, we both would have been shot. You're lucky that Jack's room is at the back – it is fine. Your daughter and your wife almost died because you lied and deflected. "Aaron, I am so furious with you. It's been just short of two months, and that feeling has only gotten stronger. I don't know if I can just forgive you and move on."

"What is that supposed to mean? Are you breaking up with me?"

I sighed and met his eyes. I didn't say anything, but I didn't need to; he knew the answer was yes. He looked down a few seconds before he took in an unsteady breath, whispered an apology, and then left the room. I heard him go downstairs and then out the front door. I dropped to the ground and cried with my knees to my chest.